• I met H at a church praise and prayer event shortly before giving birth, but she was one of the first people to visit and deliver food to us after M was born. When she came to our house, she remarked, “Your house is so peaceful! Do you pray a lot?” Haha. We try. She prayed for me and M that day, and she reminded me that I really do want to be someone who prays a lot, and for our house to be a house of prayer! Blessed by her.
• When I was married without kids (i.e. one year ago!), I felt a little lost and lonely at church – not quite fitting in with the single or recently married young adult women, but not part of the moms club either. After having a child, I’ve been so grateful to have that unique and sweet camaraderie with my friends who are also moms – but may I remember what it felt like to be in that in-between, and to branch out to friends who are in different stages of life.
• One of our friends mentioned that he remembers being tired during the newborn phase, but his “body doesn’t remember” anymore. Granted, he was a guy, but we were still in the thick of newborn phase when he said this, and I remember thinking, how can your body possibly NOT remember this exhaustion?? Well… one of my friends brought her new baby boy to small group the other week, and as we were listening to his little newborn sounds and watching him sleep on mommy’s shoulder, I remember thinking, AWWW newborn! The body has already forgotten HAHA.
• Psalm 84:3: “Even the sparrow finds a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young, at your altars, O Lord of hosts, my King and my God.” – Even a mama bird can lay her babies at your altars, O God. My baby is safe at the foot of your throne… yet not my child (only), but yours.

In many ways, 2025 was a year of prayers answered — we got pregnant, somewhat unexpectedly bought a house we love, and are now caring for a brand new baby! We give glory to God.

Since giving birth, I have been fascinated by the body’s ability to produce breastmilk. Breastmilk production is a positive feedback loop; the more baby demands, the more supply your body creates. Apparently even the nutritional composition of breastmilk changes according to your baby’s needs as she grows, even if quantity remains the same.

I’ve had the thought that breastmilk production is much like manna… While the Israelites were wandering through the desert, God provided manna for each day, and the Israelites could take exactly what they needed, no more, no less. In a similar fashion (supply issues aside), mama’s body is designed to adapt to produce exactly what baby needs, enough for each day.

Postpartum, I’ve mostly been able to take things one day at a time (really, one nursing session at a time!). But especially during those early newborn days, there were times when I felt particularly overwhelmed thinking about caring for this new baby of ours. On days when I am particularly sleep deprived or feeling lonely, I still do have those moments. My parents heading home? Darek returning to work? The end of maternity leave in a couple months? Eventually entrusting my baby to daycare providers? It can all seem like too much.

Her first name means honey. It alludes to Psalm 81, in which God says that he would satisfy the Israelites with honey from the rock… Manna and honey, both symbols of God’s care and provision. My prayer is that she would seek God in this way — that God alone would be her honey from the rock, her manna from heaven, and that she would ultimately find her satisfaction in him.

While her name was meant to be a reminder to her and a testimony to others, I admit that I didn’t realize how much I also need this reminder. In my moments of overwhelm, may I remember that God alone provides enough for each day, and that he alone is enough.

At this time, my parents have already departed from their initial stay with us. Darek and I are developing rhythms in terms of taking care of baby and ourselves. I froze breastmilk for the first time in anticipation of returning to work. We have been buoyed by the prayers of friends and family, and the love and food they have provided. God provides. He is providing.

I suspect that the need to rely on God in raising this child will continue to be a theme for the next 18+ years ;) How will we raise this sweet little girl of ours? By the grace of God alone. Recently it’s come in the form of things like baby sleeping through the night in her bassinet instead of being held, slowly growing confidence as new parents, the provision of others in our village, and in the quiet stillness of knowing that God is with me during nursing sessions in the middle of the night.

God with us, Emmanuel!

One thing that I have been thankful for this season is beginning to feel like we are settling down and planting roots. I feel a little more connected to our church community, and we started to get to know some of our new neighbors too! Maybe Darek already feels this way since he has been living in this area for longer than I have, but it always seems to take me a little longer to have that sense of belonging. As someone who has always wanted to “settle down” as soon as I could (I am a boring millennial who does not like to move so much ;)), this is a welcome change :)

In college, one of the phrases I used to repeat to myself was “I choose joy.” It’s not that the last few years have not had moments of joy, but for some reason, it was harder to “choose joy” during days when joy did not come as easily. These days, I think I am transitioning out of that funk. I am thankful for the life stage I am in, and I find that I have been more thankful for my present moment and this specific season of life, rather than feeling nostalgic about the past or longing for future things to come.

This season is a gift, and all of life a grace. Praise be to God.

Of course, now that we have moved in, it’s easy to think of the house as “mine” or “ours,” but may we always be grateful for that which God has given to us! Sometimes I still can’t believe that this house checks off all of our major criteria, and then some, and the fact that our offer was accepted in this crazy housing market. God is gracious. 

After a friend bought her house, she posted part of the following liturgy, and ever since, I have wanted it to be a prayer over our home:

We thank you for this new home,
O Lord, for the shelter it will provide,
for the moments of life that will be shared within it.
We thank you for this new home and we welcome you here.

Dwell with us in this place, O Lord.
Dwell among us in these spaces,
in these rooms.
Be present at this table as we eat together.
Be present as we rise in the morning
and lie down at night.
Be present in our work here.
Be present in our play.

May your Spirit inhabit this home,
making of it a sanctuary
where hearts and lives are knit together,
where bonds of love are strengthened,
where mercy is learned and practiced.

May this our home be a harbor of
anchorage and refuge,
and a haven from which we journey forth
to do your work in your world.
May it be a garden of nourishment
in which our roots go deep
that we might bear fruit
for the nourishing of others.

May this our new home be a place of knowing
and of being known,
a place of shared tears and laughter;
a place where forgiveness is easily asked
and granted,
and wounds are quickly healed;
a place of meaningful conversation,
of words not left unsaid;
a place of joining, of becoming,
of creating, and reflecting;
a place where our diverse gifts
are named and appreciated;
where we learn to serve one another
and to serve our neighbors as well;
a place where our stories are forever twined
by true affections.

Grant also, O Lord, that our days lived
gratefully within these temporary walls,
enjoying these momentary fellowships,
would serve to awaken within us a restless
longing for our truer home. Incline our
hearts ever toward the glories
of that better city, built by you, O God —
a city whose blessings are neverending,
and whose fellowships are eternally unbroken.

Amen.

— Every Moment Holy by Douglas McKelvey

May I grow in hospitality even as my introverted self seeks her own space ;) … and also remember that hospitality is not a house!

We are but stewards.

One thing a friend mentioned was how much she appreciated the gentle leadership of our head pastor… I don’t think I ever really considered the impact of the lead pastor on shaping the culture of the church, for good or for bad. Perhaps this should be obvious… but in my mind, church leadership was collective, taking the shape of not only the lead pastor, but also the elders and deacons and other servant leaders. So anyways… thankful :)

Highlights from the first quarter of 2025!

• Our young adult group happened to have a trivia night on my birthday, and while I was initially on the fence about going, I decided it was better to be with people on my birthday than spending a quiet night at home. I’m glad I went :)
• Getting dinner with Justin and Esther! So refreshed by the conversation and the fellowship!
• Partnering with Angela at the IV Legacy conference! I led a workshop on “Your Work as Imago Dei,” and Darek of course helped with worship :)
• Dinner at Yoon and Rose’s house with other new church friends! It was quite a fun and laughter filled night, even though we just met the other two invited couples that night :P
• ABC Momentum game night! Played Nertz for the first time since college and had a great time even though I didn’t play very well haha
• Lunch at the Rendalls! Such a lovely time with other young adults in the church. Thankful for the space to make connections outside of formal church time

March // Celebrating Crystal and Cole in Cancun! Since it was a destination wedding, we had extra time to catch up with Allison and Dora and get to know their significant others. LOVELY wedding :)

March // Immediately after Crystal and Cole’s ceremony, we headed to Durham for Hyejin’s service. I had the thought that being with friends during these times of grieving is just as important as being with friends during times of celebration… Thankful to have been able to go.

April // We went strawberry picking with Angela and friends for her birthday! So fun to have college friends nearby :) I played around with my lomo camera… SO GRAINY haha

July // Before Ivy’s wedding, we spent a few hours in Seattle and then hiked some trails at Mount Rainier National Park! We were lucky to have clear skies at Panorama Point on the Skyline Trail… We could see three other mountain peaks, including Mount Adams, Mount Hood, and Mount St. Helen! Just beautiful.

July // Celebrating Ivy and Zach! Got to shoot some getting ready photos for Ivy — loved her beautiful florals and love that ring shot ;)

September // Japan probably deserves its own post, but just wanted to highlight a couple favorite activities. We spent most of our time in Tokyo, but we got to spend a couple days in Kawaguchiko where we saw a glimpse of Mount Fuji! The mountain in the photo is not Mount Fuji, but I could not resist a photo in a misty mountain town :) We also went to the Ghibli Museum; such a cute museum in a cute town! I loved looking through the sketchbooks and seeing how they made the animations come to life. No photos allowed inside the museum, but this is the Ghibli clock which is in Tokyo :)

September // We traveled to the cornfields of Illinois to celebrate Joanne and Kendall’s wedding! Also stopped by Darek’s alma mater and visited his old stomping grounds. The statue’s name is literally called the Alma Mater :P

December // Hawaii could probably use its own post too… But here are a couple photos that represent what I love about Darek’s hometown… Namely those moody mountains :)

2024 kept us busy with lots of travel, but we kept busy at home too! I’m proud of myself for joining a barre studio (the only reason I’ve been able to stay active consistently!), finishing a couple watercolor classes and trying to squeeze in more sketching, and working slowly toward Chinese and Japanese language goals. I also started teaching Sunday school again after a long hiatus, and that has been a blessing!

2025 has so far started off with a busy January… catching my breath this February to create good rhythms :) Still striving toward Ephesians 5 goal of making good use of small pockets of time, and Thessalonians 4 goal of living quietly with the Lord.

Perhaps it is not so coincidental that learning of her diagnosis and then learning of her death was bookended, for us, by two weddings. In a whirlwind of weekend events, we attended a wedding ceremony on Friday, then flew out the next day to the memorial service on Saturday. It was a gentle reminder to me that though we are plagued by death and suffering in this life, we can look forward to the day where everything will be made new, where we will be celebrating the wedding feast of the Lamb.

Her service was beautiful and truly a celebration of life. I had heard from her friend that she was “steadfast in her faith through the end,” but I was still struck when her husband spoke of her posture in her last days, with her saying that “God is good,” and “God is gracious” to have given them a few more days together, and her last words being, “Jesus is holding me. He loves me.”

What a difference to know Jesus, both in life and in death… I hope to die as well as she did (with colors at my funeral too!). Reflecting on her passing, I am reminded of these words from DL Moody…

Some day you will read in the papers that D.L. Moody, of East Northfield, is dead. Don’t you believe a word of it! At that moment I shall be more alive than I am now, I shall have gone up higher, that is all; out of this old clay tenement into a house that is immortal — a body that death cannot touch; that sin cannot taint; a body fashioned like His glorious body.

She is more alive now than she was here on earth. What a mind-blowing thought.

Thankful to have attended her service. To know both her and her husband. To see old friends from college gathered. To have had the dates and times of wedding ceremony and flights and memorial service all work together perfectly for us to celebrate both a new marriage and a life well lived. To have my husband’s encouragement and his handling of all the logistical changes to make it happen. To share in both sorrow and joy.

One of my favorite things about marriage so far is this feeling of assuredness. Darek’s friend called it feeling “solid,” and I think I like that description. It feels like rootedness, like having a place to call home. There is a certainty in marriage that dating did not have. And maybe it’s just me, but I feel like that sense of rootedness in marriage also gives me the freedom and motivation and courage to invest in our neighborhood and community and church together. To plant roots. I don’t think I’ve felt this way since college, and it feels good to want to invest in a community for however long we are here.

The last couple months have been about creating new rhythms and routines together. On one of the first days back from our honeymoon, we both got up early, and around 8am Darek turned on the TV to watch the news. I asked him if this was part of his morning routine, and he was like, “… I don’t have an 8am morning routine.” LOL. (Note: Darek is not historically an early riser :P) Nowadays, he doesn’t so much get up super early, but he always sets his alarm clock early…

It has also been fun to simply do life together. This fall, I got to join in on Mid Atlantic IV’s Fall Conference! Darek has been volunteering with IV for years, but this was the first time I went with him. It was fun to be part of that experience in person, whereas in the past, I had only heard about it from Darek. He helped out with sound this year, and I with slides, so we were both in the back tag teaming during worship/speaking sessions :) Our speaker, Arul, was also fire! Maybe will write about some thoughts from conference some other time :)

I also started a new job after moving in with Darek. It’s been funny realizing how many big and little things I appreciated about my old job (a much smaller practice!), and it makes me grateful for that first experience out of PA school. Occasionally there will be small things about my current patients that remind me of my previous patients, and it temporarily catches me by surprise when I realize that I miss those patients and wonder how they are doing.

Grateful for this year and this new stage of life. A good place to be :)

And then… the big day! We chose to get married in September because the weather is usually pretty nice in September (not too hot, not too cold, and usually not that much rain), and I wanted to have an outdoor ceremony. Little did we know that Tropical Storm Ophelia would pass through the weekend of our wedding. Thankfully, it was only raining slightly in the morning and early afternoon, and by the time our wedding party walked down the aisle, the rain had stopped completely for the entire duration of our ceremony!

Some favorite things surrounding our wedding…

• Sweetheart table backdrop: I had originally bought a backdrop from Facebook marketplace, but it was not the best or sturdiest set up… My mom and dad spent a lot of time optimizing the sturdiness even though I said it was okay if it didn’t work out… They’re the reason we had such a beautiful backdrop!
• Drapes: I am SO HAPPY that the drapes worked out; I wish we had a wide-angle photo of all the drapes! We cut and installed our own drapes because hiring out was too expensive… but we were still troubleshooting the day of the wedding. My dad actually asked our second shooter videographer to help (because he said that we needed to do the drapes the way Lucy wants them, because Lucy is the boss – awww!), and he figured that she had an eye for beauty. While the drapes initially started out a little thin and sad-looking, our videographer Zadie helped the groomsmen billow out the drapes, and they ended up looking exactly how I pictured them in my head :) My dad is the best ;)
• Personal vows: I wanted my vows to tell a little bit of our story, and to invite our guests into that story. I had fun telling our story, and I’m glad we wrote personal vows :)
• Toasts: We had fun listening to the toasts :) I’m glad for Ryan’s toast in that I think it allowed for my friends to get to know Darek a little better! And I don’t know how he did it, but my brother managed to toast us and roast ME and make me laugh and cry all at the same time :P
• Creative things: I had been following an artist who does watercolor wedding stationary, and I really wanted something similar for our wedding. However, when I looked at a quote from the company, it was super expensive! Soooo I decided to do the watercolors myself :) We used them for our seating chart and wedding newspaper! I’m proud of the watercolors, given that I have very little watercolor experience hehe

After our wedding, we took a day to relax and pack before heading to BALI! We had a good balance between having fun and relaxing :)

Well, all of that fell by the wayside after I went into full wedding planning mode :P UNTIL… I came across an online class that was basically a 5-week crash course in very practical Chinese – things like ordering food in a restaurant, shopping, traveling, navigating healthcare, etc… Basically something that would be useful for say, traveling to China one day, and something that I had been wanting to do anyway!

The class started in August, and because I wasn’t sure if they were going to offer it again, I decided to add the class to my plate in addition to my ever-growing wedding to-do list :P I’m really glad I took it though! I got to meet people from all over the world who were learning Chinese, and I was super impressed with their Chinese skills.

We also had our last premarital session in August. The last topic in our premarital book was on spiritual intimacy. While we were dating, I purposefully did not pray very often WITH Darek, because I have heard it said that sometimes praying together creates too much intimacy too early on. But with one month to go before our wedding, and with the encouragement of our premarital book, we decided to start praying together. An excerpt from my journal…

8/22/2023: Anyways, in the book, it suggested to start developing spiritual intimacy, and now that we’re about a month away from the wedding, it is time! So on Sunday, Darek and I prayed over our wedding, and afterwards, I looked at him, and I was like, this is why I love him. And since then – and mind you, it’s only been three days – Darek has suggested we pray together at the end of our daily chats together. I love that he is wanting to and remembering to and reminding me to pray together. I feel that this is going to be one of my favorite parts of our marriage. :)

Sneak peek: praying together every night has indeed been one of the highlights of our marriage so far :)

To start off our wedding month, we flew to Texas over Labor Day weekend to celebrate Andrew and Gabi’s wedding! But a couple of days before, we actually stopped by Dallas to meet our wedding photographer and get engagement shots done! (Our photographer is from Dallas). We’re pretty good at doing two-in-one trips ;) (See Durham-Hilton Head trip last summer, and Hawaii-LA trip this February!).

At Andrew and Gabi’s wedding, we learned that we had many shared dating/wedding details! We both started dating in 2018, got engaged in Oahu, had a newspaper component in our wedding, had a similar blush/gold color scheme, and got married in September 2023! Turns out that September 2023 is a great time to get married :P