Someone asked me the other day if I had ever messed up on a fast. I had to laugh to myself. The answer, of course, is a HUGE YES!! I set goals every year — this year included — that are beyond what I did the year before and what I can do in my own strength. When we set the bar high, sometimes the natural result is failure to meet the goal. But that should never stop us from trying to reach as high as we can! It has actually taken me years of developing a lifestyle of fasting to build up to where I am now.

So what if you “mess up”? What do you do then? Proverbs 24:16 says, “…for though a righteous man falls seven times, he gets back up; but the wicked are brought down by calamity.” This has been a formative principle in my life in so many areas, and it’s no different in the arena of devotion to God. What matters is not that we stumble, but that we get back up! True failure only occurs when we let adversity keep us down.

Maybe you have tried to participate in the fast this year and have found yourself stumbling along the way. I want to encourage you to try it again during this last week. Don’t be discouraged by looking at the times you gave in to hunger or messed up. But be encouraged by this: when we draw near to God, he draws near to us. (James 4:8) He wants to draw near to you — so keep it up! I am confident that you will be rewarded and blessed for your perseverance.

1. Eggplant and mushroom Ratatouille over spaghetti squash:
Peel and cut up two large eggplant, 5 cloves of garlic, one onion, and some mushrooms. Sauté in a generous amount of olive oil till tender. Pour two cans/jars of meat-free spaghetti sauce over it and simmer until the eggplant is really mushy. Add slice black olives if desired. Spice it up with some red pepper flakes. Serve over spaghetti squash. Make a lot of this.

2. Cabbage soups with a tomato and veggie broth base.

3. Sautéed spinach and mushrooms with Garlic.

4. Oriental spinach, mushroom and water chestnut soup with veggie broth and soy sauce.

5. Roasted tomato bisque:
Slice 3 lbs of roma tomatoes lengthwise and place sliced side down in a very large roasting pan. Drizzle with olive oil and season with salt. Also put on the pan a whole, unpeeled head of garlic. Roast a 450 for 30-45 minutes, or until skins are charred. Take out and let cool. Take off charred tomato skins and toss (I leave them on, but I like a very smoky flavor). Put the tomatoes in blender, and squeeze the garlic in also — all of it. Then add a can of vegetable broth, some liquid smoke (about a tsp.) some water, and about 1/2 cup of soy creamer. Blend till smooth. Reheat on stove. Thin as desired with soy creamer and veggie broth and keep adjusting the seasoning till you get it right.

6. Sauteed green beans with garlic and olive oil.

7. Cauliflower steamed till soft and then whipped like potatoes with 2 tbs of butter, and a little soymilk creamer. This is so good! (Try to use butter only minimally for flavoring. A little won’t kill you, but use mostly olive oil)

8. Of course, salads, stir fried veggies, smoothies (adding a frozen banana will make it almost like ice cream), frozen fruit sorbet (Frozen fruit blended with a little organic apple juice in the blender), all the bolthouse Farms products from Publix (juice section; just don’t overdo it with the protein perfect shake).

Enjoy!

Kerri xoxo

The JustONE Conference is a free virtual conference for all Pastors’ Wives and Women in Ministry. This 4 week conference will include over 20 speakers sharing from their personal lives and leadership. Each session will be shown 4 times during the week. So find a time that is right for your schedule, and join in!

This year the conference is based on a beautiful passage of scripture, 1 Timothy 4:12b-16 (The Message) “Teach believers with your life: by word, by demeanor, by love, by faith, by integrity. Stay at your post reading Scripture, giving counsel, teaching. And that special gift of ministry you were given when the leaders of the church laid hands on you and prayed–keep that dusted off and in use. Cultivate these things. Immerse yourself in them. The people will all see you mature right before their eyes! Keep a firm grasp on both your character and your teaching. Don’t be diverted. Just keep at it. Both you and those who hear you will experience salvation.”

The conference begins Monday, January 23 and Tuesday, January 24 and is offered both morning and evening — 11am EST/ 8am PST and 9pm EST/ 6pm PST both days. Join us for four consecutive weeks of teaching, encouragement and connection.

You can find out more here: http://leadingandlovingit.com/leadership/the-justone-conference/

I am beyond excited to announce that my new book for moms is now in available in print! That’s right — a real, ink and paper book that you can write in, fold down, drip coffee and ice cream into and pass on to your friends! The first release was Thursday Night, November 17th, at Sisterhood Shopping Nights, but you can still purchase it at any Celebration Location at the resource center. On December 18, at our Midtown location, I will be signing copies after services, so I hope you will stop by the table and say hello. I will still continue to have the book for sale in electronic formats as well, which can be purchased through this website. The profits from sales of all formats go toward Sisterhood Love in Action projects both locally and abroad.

Love,

Kerri xoxo

Someone left an advance reader’s copy of this book, co-authored by Pastor Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church in Seattle Washington, and his wife Grace, on my desk last week. I haven’t read much by Pastor Driscoll, other than a few blog posts, and I have to say I was really surprised by how much I liked this book. I read it in three days, and found it to be very practical and also very spiritual. As you would expect, if you know anything about Mark Driscoll, his commitment to Reformed theology pervades every aspect of this book. In my opinion, this is central to the strength of the book.

The book begins by Mark and Grace sharing the history of their relationship together. As they say, all great couples have a great story, and the Driscolls have doozy of one! By no means has their marriage journey been an easy one. It was fraught with all the trials and hardships you would expect from any two people coming from a life of sin into the Christian faith and hurling themselves headlong into a church plant in one of the most unchurched cities in America. Add to the mix the birth of five children in quick succession, and the grueling speaking, work, and travel schedule Driscoll kept as a young pastor, and you have the perfect storm for a struggling marriage.

Both Mark and Grace share, each from their unique perspectives, the challenges they faced and how they responded to the leading and grace of God to work through those challenges.  In this book you get a great view of their theology at work in a very practical way. Their commitment to who they believe God to be, and who they believe themselves to be in relationship to Him beautifully frames the restorative process of their marriage.  Their belief in God’s supremacy and sovereignty expresses itself in trust. Their belief in God’s grace expresses itself in personal humility and forgiveness toward their spouse. Their belief in the sufficiency of the atoning work of Christ and the Reformist cry of Sola Scriptura informs the chapters on sex. It is refreshing to see their theology at work, because in the end, that’s what proper theology ought to do…it ought to work.

One of the most unique aspects of this book is the attention it gives to friendship within marriage in the middle section of the book. As the Driscolls point out, there is far too little teaching on this topic, yet is probably one of the most essential components of a healthy marriage. They do a fantastic job of unpacking this topic and making it applicable to the modern Christian life. The questions they answer in the sex chapters are very similar to the ones Stovall and I answered in the FAQ Relationship Q&A series about two years ago.

I would recommend this book to any new couple just starting out in marriage or preparing for marriage. Reading it could save you a lot of heartache. The truth is, we are in a post-Christian culture that doesn’t see the value of Biblical marriage at all. In fact, I would venture to say that we live in a culture that increasing fails to see the value of any type of marriage. That means that young Christian couples marrying today have a weak frame of reference for what to expect when it comes to building a Godly marriage, and that why Real Marriage, in my opinion, is a valuable resource for modern marriage in the church.

Real Marriage will be released in January 2012, but you can pre-order it on Amazon. You can learn more about Pastor Mark at www.pastormark.tv

As most of you probably heard announced this past weekend, this Thursday, November 17th is Sisterhood’s annual Night of Shopping! This will be happening at the Midtown, Orange Park and St. Johns campuses. We have lots of vendors at each of the campuses for you to shop until you drop!

At Midtown and Orange Park, the shopping will be open from 6-6:50pm prior to the service and for 45 minutes after the service. For St. Johns, it will be open from 6:30-6:55pm prior, and also open afterward! It’s going to be a fun and God-filled night for you and the girls in your world.

The service starts at 7pm at all three campuses and will include powerful worship, an encouraging word and so much more!

You don’t want to miss the last Sisterhood Nights of the year–so come out this Thursday, November 17th to Midtown, Orange Park or St. Johns for our Sisterhood Night of Shopping!

Love you!

xoxo

I truly can’t believe that we are quickly approaching the final Sisterhood Morning of 2011. It seems like we just began yesterday, and now we are wrapping up our study of I Corinthians, entitled Ancient Wisdom, Modern Life. If you have been wanting to join us but just haven’t yet, or have simply missed a few mornings, why not finish out with us? We would love to have you!

I love that this fall we began to make outreach a bigger component of our gatherings. At Sisterhood Mornings at Midtown we have done this in two ways:

1. All the offerings received in Sisterhood Mornings are going toward completing our Chicks for Chicks initiative in Zimbabwe, which is an economic empowerment program using chicken farms to build income for women and their families.  You can read Pastor Chipo’s post about the SHINE Sewing Project here. The Chicks for Chicks project will proceed much along the same lines, except we will use chicken farming as the source of income.

2. Each week we have been bringing non-perishable food items to donate to our weekend meals program for students at Eugene Butler Middle School. Great things to donate are foods that can be stored in the pantry and do not necessarily have to be cooked, such as crackers, bread, peanut butter, granola bars, etc. Since this is our last Sisterhood Morning of the year, lets show up with a lot of snacks for these kids, especially since the Holidays are coming and many of them will need extra food while they are not in school.

Finally, I want to remind you that you can download and/or listen to all of the Sisterhood Messages online on the resource page of the Celebration Church website.  I hope all of you are preparing for a great Thanksgiving with friends and family. Hope to see lots of you Wednesday morning!

Love,
Kerri

—

Thanks, Pastor Kerri, for asking me to contribute to this series! I am on the extroverted side of the scale, so naturally there are some differences between the way Pastor Kerri and I operate. If you’re an assistant or work closely with your boss, the best way to increase effectiveness in your role is by knowing their personality type and working with the differences, not against them.

Differences can be challenging:

• Introverts are analyzers. I had to learn that I can’t process everything with Pastor Kerri. I clear my mind by talking about things, but for her, talking about things can clutter her mind. She takes on issues and continues analyzing them long after I have forgotten about them! I learned this when I talked through a “complicated” (wink) email with her. She gave me a fantastic response, I replied to the email and it left my mind. But later that night, she texted me about it again…it was still on her mind. Pastor Kerri cares a lot about people and difficult situations weigh on her mind. As her assistant, I have to use wisdom regarding what information gets to her and what doesn’t. That way, I make sure that she doesn’t give energy to things that don’t require or deserve her attention.

• Introverts trust slowly. It’s not that they are suspicious of everyone, but they just don’t let as many people in. It can take longer for you to earn their trust, but it means a whole lot more when you finally make it in.

• Introverts don’t need to tell everyone everything. When something exciting happens, I like to tell everyone — I want everyone and anyone to know about it! Introverts can be excited about something, share it with only one person, and that’s enough. This is important for me to know for two reasons:

o If I am the one she shares with, then I can pass that along to others who I know Pastor Kerri would want to know!

o If I am not the one she shares with, then I have to not take it personally.

Differences can be enriching:

- Introverts are analyzers: This is someone who doesn’t make decisions lightly, who thinks through what they say and often comes up with incredible ideas! Because of Pastor Kerri’s tendency to analyze things, I know that any decision she makes, she has thought it through completely. She obviously can adapt well, but she’s not one to blindly change something for no reason. She always thinks through her options and carefully makes a final call. And because she is always analyzing and thinking about things, she can take good ideas to great ideas! What an exciting person to work for!

- Introverts trust slowly. Therefore, when you become a trusted part of their world, you are truly valued. You are not here today and gone tomorrow…if you so choose, you are in for good. Because it takes longer to bring someone into their world, they are more reluctant to let that person go. It’s a little like having tenure. Barring any truly idiotic decisions, you have a sense of security.

- Introverts don’t need to tell everyone everything. This is true simply based on who I work for, but introverts tend to be better at keeping things confidential. They won’t be gabbing with ten other people and telling them all of your business. They tend to have fewer, but more trustworthy confidantes. I know that if I share anything at all with Pastor Kerri, no matter how confidential, I can trust her with that knowledge.

These are just a few things I’ve learned from working for an Introverted Leader. As with anyone you work for, it’s always good to learn how they operate so you can better serve them. What are some things you’ve learned about the person you work for?

-Liz Hineman

Liz’s Blog —> http://lizhineman.wordpress.com
Find Liz on Facebook —> Liz Hineman
Follow Liz on Twitter —> http://www.twitter.com/liz_hineman

If you are an introverted leader — especially in the hyper-social world of ministry — the sheer amount of social interaction required can leave you drained, overwhelmed, and resentful. I personally think many pastor’s wives fall victim to this scenario, as they strive to keep in step with their (usually) extroverted husbands. Here are some strategies I use to expand my social capacity:

• Learn to manage energy, rather than just time. As I said in an earlier post, introverts are energy conservers, and  MUST have time to refill. If you know that you have a week with lots of upcoming social engagements, clear you calendar as much as possible the week before so you can be ready.  Introverts need space and time to think clearly and process all that’s going on around them. Too much activity with no breaks can cause anxiety and lead to resentment.
• Accept that your need to be alone is legitimate. If you’re an introvert in ministry, it’s s easy to feel guilty over wanting to be alone. You begin to think things like, “I guess I just don’t love people.” Or, “My husband would have been better off married to someone else. I am a hindrance to his ministry.” Or even, “I thought I liked ministry at first, but now I can’t stand it  — I just want to run away from it all!” Your need to be alone neither disqualifies you for ministry, nor makes you “worse” at it. Some of the most brilliant theologians and Bible Scholars in history have been introverts. Some of the most gifted song writers and authors alive in the body of Christ today are introverts. They are not second class leaders because of it — and neither are you! You are just wired differently, and the sooner you understand that and embrace it, the sooner you can operate from a position of strength and confidence.
• Challenge your thoughts and expectations about difficult social situations.  During the membership luncheons I mentioned in the first post of this series, I felt like a failure as my extroverted husband smoothly worked the room, moving easily from one person to the next. Meanwhile, I struggled to strike up conversations with people, and then I struggled just as hard to end them and move on to the next person. I hated how this made me feel: like a fake, schmoozy politician. The truth was, I had set myself up for failure with my own unfounded and untrue belief that each and every person in the room expected one -on-one time with me. I wasn’t even aware of my assumptions until I bean to think about my thoughts. Once I began to challenge my underlying assumptions with truth, I learned how to relax and enjoy membership luncheons. I quit trying to work the room like Stovall and took as much time as I wanted with each person. Working a room is comfortable and easy to Stovall because it’s authentic to him. He isn’t fake when he’s doing it. He’s acting perfectly in tune with his natural inclination. As long as I was trying to act in accordance with my husband’s strengths and not my own, I was failing. I can’t succeed at being him! Once I began to respect my own strengths and operate in them, I experienced a greater degree of success and fulfillment — and much less frustration!
• Remember what defines you. After all this talk about introversion vs. extroversion it’s important to remember this one extremely important thing: YOUR TEMPERAMENT DOES NOT DEFINE YOU, your identity is in Christ. Paul wisely said in Galatians 2:20. “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” There will be many times that will require you to give more than you have in every way — spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, and socially. Knowing that I am an introvert has been a helpful tool, but it is not an excuse to indulge in seclusion. My temperament, just like every other aspect of my being, must be submitted to the law of love and energized by the power of faith in Christ. No matter how I feel, it remains ever true that when I can’t, He can! When I am weak, He is strong. When I don’t feel like loving, He is love itself. At those times when I feel way out of my comfort zone — and you will always have those times if you are growing in Christ — the answer is always the same. “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.” (Phil. 4:13)

• We go for depth before(not instead of) breadth when understanding a subject
• We turn inward rather than outward to stimulate new ideas and innovative thinking
• We can achieve deep and prolonged levels of concentration that can be extremely productive, yet if interrupted are difficult to attain again. In fact, many times we just give up and say, “I will start again tomorrow.”
• We need time and space to process new ideas and to come up with good solutions to problems.
• We feel uncomfortable “inserting” ourselves into discussion and dialogue, preferring instead to be invited to participate.

Those are just a few of the dynamics that make team work challenging for introverts. However, teamwork is highly valuable in the workplace, and it’s something introverts can excel at! Here are some tips for making teamwork work for you:

• Come to meetings early and prepared. Arriving early allows you to transition into the environment and get comfortable — essential for introverts. Know the purpose of the meeting and what you will be expected to contribute. Come to the meeting with your ideas written down and thought out.
• Go first. This may sound counter intuitive, but you might find it easier to jump-start a discussion by putting your ideas out there rather than jumping into a conversation that is already rolling along, full of steam.
• Learn how to share control of the creative/planning process. If you are leading a team, come to the table knowing which items are negotiable and which items aren’t. Keep the discussion focused around the negotiable items (strategy, for example) and invite and encourage LOTS of different ideas. Don’t waste time on non-negotiables (such as mission of values) in the name of creativity. It will simply frustrate everyone.
• Don’t hold your own ideas too tightly. We introverts can get attached to our ideal images about the way some things “should” be. Ideals are fantastic, but they have to find practical expression in the real world, with real manpower and real budgets. If you are constantly coming up with ideas that require the staff and budget of Disney World to execute, then get used to your ideas being rejected. Start with the ideal for inspiration, but be prepared to back into reality for execution.
• Know what you own. Leave each meeting with a clear understanding of what you are responsible for:
  • Teams you need to build,
  • Problems you need to solve
  • Plans you need to execute, and
  • Departments and people you need to continue interacting with to finish your job well.

   

• Get extroverts on your team. You need them, so learn to work with them and empower them to use their strengths in a significant way on teams that you lead. I need the outties in my world — they make all my teams better.
  
• Finally, try to schedule a buffer time between team meetings and our next appointment. Give yourself some time, if possible, to recharge mentally and process everything you went over in the meeting. For introverts, this is essential to productivity. Even 10-15 minutes alone can be a big lift!

Now it’s your turn. Introvert or extrovert, what are your favorite things about team work? What are your biggest challenges? How do you navigate these challenges?