I took this picture at Ayana Resort, Jimbaran, Bali. We had planned to go to Rockbar and lounge there while enjoying the sunset, but the queue was quite long and we decided to just linger around the gardens. As it turns out, the view was not less breathtaking.

Up from the gardens, we could see Rockbar below us, and it makes for this scene. Had we decided to go on down there, it would have taken us an elevator ride, cost us about USD20 per person just for one drink, and because of the queue we would've missed the sunset altogether.

This is Yoga taking a short break after wandering around in Kebun Raya Bedugul. Lush green views like this are becoming a luxury for city dwellers and office workers like me.

Yoga's camera, one of many I will borrow or tinker with through the course of my learning. I still can't afford to buy a DSLR at the moment because I have a few other things higher up the priority scale. Luckily, I'm surrounded by photography enthusiasts, so starting to learn something is as easy as borrowing one of their cameras.

Fear impairs, distorts, and ultimately destroys relationships. How? Let’s see…

First of all, let’s talk about the benefits of fear. Fear keeps you out of trouble. It safeguards you from dangerous things. Fear keeps you alive. Want proof? Why do you think we always look carefully left and right before crossing the road, even when we’re on a pedestrian crossing? Because we don’t want to get hit by a car. Why? Because we’re scared of getting hurt, we’re scared of getting injured, and we’re afraid of death. If we weren’t so scared of death, the world’s population might be a lot lower than it is today.

Alright then, on to the next question: what’s so bad about fear?

Fear distorts the way we think. Imagine you’ve stolen a car and you’re cruising around town. The fear in your mind keeps you alert and vigilant. But you’ll start getting paranoid. You’d think that every cop in town is going after you, and you’d even think some ordinary people are actually cops in civilian clothing. You’d be extra careful, but the paranoia would just make you jumpy, and then you’d start making mistakes that you wouldn’t have done if you had no fear. Also, fear makes us lie, because we think we can protect ourselves and the people and/or things that are of value to us by lying. Obviously, this will just make things worse.

Fear makes us possessive. If you think you own something, and you fear of losing it, you’d be extra careful about where you put it, how you treat it, and so on. That’s why people who own old indestructible Nokia phones are more easygoing about their phones than iPhone owners. Same thing with humans: if you think you own someone and you fear of losing them, you’d do all kinds of crazy things to keep that person yours. You’d be overprotective or just be plain annoying to that person, and in the end all that’s gonna get you is a bad end to your relationship.

Fear makes us focus on the wrong things. Imagine a room full of people, and then suddenly a guy appears at the door and starts shooting a machine gun. Two things will happen. First, people will scatter around, duck, run, and just find cover. This puts distance between people. After that, people who still survive will group together and just hold on so tightly to each other because of fear. This destroys everyone’s personal space. In this particular shooting scenario, we are supposed to follow our survival instincts, otherwise we’ll die. But in relationships, if we focus on our fear of losing someone or something, we may let our survival instincts take over. We then become so focused on preserving ourselves and what we think we own. The same things happen: we stay away, or we move too close. When people do this, relationships get strained and even destroyed.

So, the key to have a good relationship (or, as the reverend says it, a good fellowship), we must properly address our fears. Here are some examples.

Don’t be afraid of losing anything. If you are afraid of losing your phone, your money, your house, or even your spouse, you’re forgetting where you got those things in the first place. God gave us everything we own. If it hadn’t been for Him, we would’ve owned nothing. So why are we grasping so tightly on to things we think we own? We don’t need to be afraid of losing our job, our career, our money, our house, because He will provide for us. If we truly love someone, we don’t have to be afraid of losing them, because true love sets people free, it empowers people instead of putting them in a cage that we created. So what this means for us is that we need to change what drives us to do things. Do your job because you love it. Hang out with your boss not because you’re expecting a promotion but because he really is a good guy and you love conversing over a cup of coffee with him. Hang out with your friends because you enjoy being with them. Do good things to your crush/boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse because you love them, not because you fear of losing them. When we can do this, we can be more sincere in everything we do, and we can have peace of mind because we’re not afraid of losing anything. We are free to be ourselves, free to express how we feel, and free to enjoy life as we should.

Don’t be afraid to give. People often hesitate to give because they think they don’t even have enough for themselves. Well, they should again remember who gave them all their stuff in the first place: God. Other people are afraid to give because they are afraid of rejection. They then shield themselves with masks and pretend to feel nothing, even though deep in their fragile hearts they yearn to express their love to other people. Simple example: some kids don’t want to go to school for fear of not getting any friends. They think other kids are mean even though they haven’t met anybody yet. Another example: teens or even adults back out of a possible relationship because they fear of getting rejected and hurt. Well hey, if you really love that person, you’ll be focusing on sincerely giving your love to him/her instead of protecting your own weak heart. If you get hurt because you’re rejected, then you’re not in love; you’re just seeking to control that one person that catches your attention (and perhaps spikes your hormone levels). When you give sincerely, with the correct motivation, and in the correct proportion (just enough — not less or more than what is needed), your gift will be a blessing and will enhance your relationship.

Don’t be afraid to be yourself. In a healthy relationship, no one is scared of being themselves. If, for example, a kid is afraid to tell her dad that she wants to study architecture because her dad wants her to go to med school, there’s something wrong with their relationship. A truly healthy relationship frees everyone to be themselves, completely, without compromising each person’s personal space, and without dissolving the unique personality of everyone involved. A good example is when we try to empathize with a friend who is sad. We try to put ourselves in her shoes, try to feel her pain and sadness. In the end, when she has recovered and is happy again, we end up being the grumpy guy because we’re still feeling her pain and sadness. That’s not empathizing, that’s sympathizing, and we end up losing our own self. We need to constantly remember that I am I, and you are you, and there is no way I can be you or you can be me. When we empathize with someone, we may attempt to understand their feelings and emotions, but we must always be aware that it is them who are feeling those feelings and emotions, not us.

So, what happens when fear is kicked out of our relationships? We can have a sincere, healthy, and balanced relationship. We can have a fulfilling relationship, one that enhances our experience of life and allows us to enjoy it as best we can. Let’s try.

If you don’t remember me or what we are, I’m still your friend. I’ll remember for us both.

I exist, but do I live?

Good question.

Thanks, Alanis, you really got me thinking this time.

How ’bout getting off of these antibiotics
How ’bout stopping eating when I’m full up
How ’bout them transparent dangling carrots
How ’bout that ever elusive kudos

Thank you India
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence

How ’bout me not blaming you for everything
How ’bout me enjoying the moment for once
How ’bout how good it feels to finally forgive you
How ’bout grieving it all one at a time

Thank you India
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence

The moment I let go of it was the moment
I got more than I could handle
The moment I jumped off of it
Was the moment I touched down

How ’bout no longer being masochistic
How ’bout remembering your divinity
How ’bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out
How ’bout not equating death with stopping

Thank you India
Thank you providence
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you nothingness
Thank you clarity
Thank you thank you silence

The same good will and kind words can be “felt” very differently, depending on who said those words & what the perceived true intentions are.

Don’t do something because you feel you have to, or because you feel you are in debt to someone; do it simply because you want to.

Section 1: phpMyAdmin

To be able to manage MySQL conveniently, we will install phpMyAdmin. We will need an internet connection and perform the following steps:

1. Fire up your virtual machine and login.
2. Run sudo apt-get install phpmyadmin to install the package.
3. Direct your browser to localhost:8080/phpmyadmin. You should see the phpMyAdmin login page there. Try to login using the root account and the password you designated to it when you installed Ubuntu LAMP server.
4. If you did not set a root password for MySQL, run cd /etc/phpmyadmin to switch to the phpMyAdmin installation directory and then run sudo pico config.inc.php to edit the configuration file. Press Ctrl-W and type in allownopassword to find the keyword, and then uncomment the line. Press Ctrl-X and then Y to save the file. You should now be able to log in as root without using a password.

That’s it, we should now be able to use phpMyAdmin.

Section 2: NetBeans PHP

Now, we’re going to install NetBeans PHP as our IDE of choice. You’re free to install any other IDE to your liking, but I’m only going to explain how to use NetBeans PHP.

1. Go to the shared folder you have set up previously (see Part 1), create a new folder for your new project, and create a new index.php file there. Just fill it up with some HTML or some code.
2. Download the Java SE Development Kit if you haven’t already done so. This is a prerequisite to install the NetBeans IDE. Install it.
3. Download the installation file from the NetBeans website. Install it.
4. Open NetBeans, then go to File –> New Project.
5. Select PHP Application with Existing Sources. Click Next.
6. Set the Sources Folder to the folder you created in step 1. Select your preferred PHP version, then click Next.
7. Set the Run As option to Local Web Site, and click Finish. Make sure to edit your site URL to add your forwarded port number (set to 8080 in Part 1).

We are now ready to start writing code. Try creating a PHP file and write some echoes or whatever in it. Save it and then click the play button on the top toolbar to open a new browser window/tab directed at your site.

Section 3: Apache/PHP Configuration

The apache2 server works almost out of the box, but usually we would want it to be properly configured and equipped with some of the more common modules. Here’s how to do some basic configuration:

1. Run sudo pico /etc/php5/apache2/php.ini to open and edit the PHP configuration file.
2. Find the date.timezone parameter and set it to your liking. You can find the list of valid timezones here.
3. Find the short_open_tag parameter and set it to Off. This is to prevent you from coding with short open tags, which might not be supported on some servers. Press Ctrl-X and then Y to save and close the file.
4. Run sudo pico /etc/apache2/sites-available/default to open and edit the apache2 virtual host configuration file.
5. In the <Directory> tag for root (/) and /var/www/, set AllowOverride to FileInfo Indexes. Save and close the file.
6. Run sudo a2enmod rewrite proxy proxy_http proxy_ftp proxy_connect to enable the listed modules needed to support mod_rewrite.
7. Run service apache2 restart to restart the apache2 server.

That’s it. Now we’re practically ready to start cracking. I might write some more about the actual code I’m working on, which is based on CodeIgniter 2 integrated with Doctrine ORM version 2, but I can’t make any promises as of now.

DISCLAIMER: This is some geeky stuff, you have been warned.

So, without further ado, let’s get to it!

Section 1: The Operating System

I have an Apple MacBook A1342, so the documentation pertains to that specific hardware. If you have another type or brand of computer, or if you choose another operating system, the following instructions should not apply to you. You should go ahead and install your operating system as you would normally.

Prerequisites:

1. Apple MacBook A1342, or a variant of it
2. Apple Mac OS X installation DVD that came with the laptop
3. Single-disc Windows 7 64-bit installation DVD
4. Internet connection (either via LAN or broadband modem)

Steps:

1. Fire up your MacBook and let it enter Mac OS X as usual. Find Bootcamp Assistant in your Applications folder and open it. Set up your BOOTCAMP partition. As I’ve done this 2 years ago, I don’t need to do it again, and I can’t remember the exact steps, so please go visit Apple’s support site if you need more detailed information.
2. Insert your Windows 7 64-bit installation DVD and restart your MacBook. Hold down the Option key while booting up to show the boot options, and select the DVD.
3. Install Windows 7 as you would normally. Select BOOTCAMP as the partition to install Windows 7 on.
4. At this point you should be able to log into Windows 7. Now, insert your Mac OS X installation DVD, find Bootcamp for Windows, and install it.
5. Install any additional drivers and software as required.
6. Voila! Your base operating system is now ready.

Section 2: The Virtual Machine

I choose to use a virtual machine to host my PHP and MySQL server. Why?

1. I can emulate the deployment server environment as closely as possible without having to compromise my development environment. This way I can only install server software as necessary, perform server configuration as if I was doing it on the real server, and reinstall the entire server if necessary without having to install my base operating system.
2. I can take the VM with me and run it on another computer if need be.
3. I don’t have to install server software directly on my base operating system. This keeps it lean and clean for gaming and such

Prerequisites:

1. Newest stable release of Oracle VirtualBox
2. Installation DVD (or disk image file) of a guest operating system of your choice, or preferably an image of it. I tend to like the latest server version, so I use Ubuntu 11.10 Oneiric Ocelot Server Edition (64-bit), which is downloadable from the Ubuntu website.
3. A preferably fast and reliable internet connection.

Steps:

1. Install Oracle VirtualBox. Just click next next next done. Simple as that.
2. Fire up Oracle VirtualBox and click File –> Preferences.
3. Set your Default Machine Folder, or leave it as it is if you prefer to do so. Click OK.
4. Specify a name for your new virtual machine, set Operating System to Linux and Version to Ubuntu (64 bit). Click Next.
5. Set the RAM allocated for the virtual machine. Usually 512MB is enough for servers, but you’d probably want to use more if you intend to install the desktop version of Ubuntu. Click Next.
6. Create a new virtual hard drive. Leave all options as it is and click Next to bring up the virtual hard drive dialog. Select VDI, Dynamically Allocated, and set the size to your liking. I use 20GB.
7. Click Next, then click Create. After the hard drive dialog disappears, click Create again.
8. Insert your Ubuntu installation DVD or set the disk image file in Settings –> Storage –> IDE Controller and start your virtual machine.

At this point you should be booted into the Ubuntu installation DVD. Let’s move on:

1. Select English and then select Install Ubuntu Server.
2. Select your language and location, and configure the keyboard if necessary. I use English (U.S.).
3. Specify your hostname.
4. Set up your partitions. To keep it simple, I use guided partitioning using the entire disk.
5. Set up your user name, password, and home folder encryption (if you want to).
6. When asked for a proxy configuration, leave it blank. The installer should start downloading stuff using apt.
7. Choose your automatic security update setting.
8. In the software selection, select LAMP Server and Mail Server. Select Internet Site for the mail server setting.
9. It’s safe to install GRUB as recommended, go ahead and do it.

Section 3: VirtualBox Guest Additions

Proceed until the virtual machine restarts, then shut it down. Remove the Ubuntu installation DVD (image) from the (virtual) drive and insert the VBoxGuestAdditions.iso image from C:\Program Files\Oracle\VirtualBox. Now it’s time to play with the command line:

1. Run sudo apt-get update to update the repository to the latest source.
2. Run sudo apt-get dist-upgrade to upgrade all installed packages to the latest version.
3. Run sudo apt-get install dkms to install Dynamic Kernel Module Support (DKMS), which will be used to install VirtualBox guest additions on your Linux machine.
4. Run sudo mount /dev/cdrom /media/cdrom to mount the VBoxGuestAdditions media.
5. Run cd /media/cdrom to switch directory to the mounted media.
6. Run sudo sh ./VBoxLinuxAdditions.run to install the VirtualBox Guest Additions.

Section 4: Shared Folders

Now that we have VirtualBox Guest Additions installed, we can start adding shared folders to the virtual box:

1. Shutdown the virtual box, go to Settings –> Shared Folders, and create a shared folder referencing a directory of your choice on the host machine. Take note of the share name.
2. Run mkdir /home/[your_username]/public_html to create your own public html directory. This will be the mount point of the shared folder.
3. Run id [your_username] to find out your uid and gid. Take note of this.
4. Run cd /etc/init.d to change to the startup script directory.
5. Run sudo pico vboxshare-automount to open pico and create a new file called vboxshare-automount.
6. Write mount -t vboxsf -o uid=[your_uid],gid=[your_gid] [your_shared_folder_name] /home/[your_user_name]/public_html in the file. Press Ctrl-X and then Y, enter, to save the file.
7. Run sudo chmod +x vboxshare-automount to make the file executable.
8. Run sudo update-rc.d vboxshare-automount defaults to make the script run on every startup.
9. Restart your virtual box, then login and run cd public_html. If you run ls, you should see the contents of your shared folder there.

Section 5: Port Forwarding, User Directories, and PHP Parsing

Alright, we now have a shared folder that we can use to directly edit our PHP files. Now we need to enable our host machine to access the virtual box’s PHP server:

1. Shutdown your virtual box if it’s not already off.
2. Go to Settings –> Network –> Adapter 1. It should be set to NAT by default.
3. Click on Advanced and then Port Forwarding.
4. Click on the add icon, then set rule name to http, protocol is TCP, host port 8080, and guest port 80.
5. Start up your virtual box.
6. Fire up your browser and go to http://localhost:8080. You should see the default apache2 page saying that it works.
7. Now go to the virtual box’s console and run sudo a2enmod userdir to enable per-user directory service.
8. Run sudo pico /etc/apache2/mods-available/php5.conf to edit the PHP5 module configuration. Comment out the part between the <IfModule> tags to enable PHP parsing in home directories.
9. Run sudo /etc/init.d/apache2 restart to restart the apache server.
10. On your host machine, create a new file info.php in the root of the shared folder. Fill it with the usual phpinfo(); code.
11. Direct your browser to localhost:8080/~[your_user_name]/info.php. You should see the PHP information page there.

That’s it. Now we have a working Apache/PHP server running on Ubuntu and accessible seamlessly through our Windows machine. Next we should check if we have phpMyAdmin and everything else we need to really start cracking. But I think I’ll save that for another post: Part 2.