I must admit that I too almost walked into 2012 with the same grudges, hurts, and disappointments that weighed me down heavily particularly the second half of 2011. Then I watched this message and had to realize that if I allowed that to happen, I’d forever be stuck in old mess when God is calling me to a new dimension of living. At the end of the day, the things that threaten to keep us beholden to our yesterdays are merely a blip on the radar when you consider the enormity of the life we are really called to live. I believe shaking off foolishness and trading past disappointment for new hope will push us in the direction of the things God has for us in 2012.

Philippians 3 reminds us that in order to reach for that which God has for us, we must forget the past and look forward to what lies ahead for us. Why not choose to let go of last year’s offenses and hurts, to forgive those who may have hurt you, and to move past the disappointment of unmet expectations. Instead look ahead to all the blessings, open doors, and opportunities for growth God will provide in the coming year. The only things that should be allowed to move forward with us into this brand new year are the joy and faith that comes from trusting God to do exceeding abundantly beyond what he did last year and all we can imagine or think for this year.

Happy New Year!

It’s hard to believe that with the conclusion of 2011, I’ve completed my first full calendar year (January to December) as a natural. I had such high hopes (for may hair and my social life) concerning how I was going to bring in the New Year. In the end after an early dinner with friends, I rang in the new year rocking a ‘Thelma Evans puff’ as  I clinked glasses with my hubby on the couch in front of Dick Clark & New Year’s Rockin’ Eve. During the week prior, in another fit of boredom with my hair, I did once again let out my twisted ‘fro. I was home all day that day and decided to do some experimenting, so I re-twisted an old twist-out and after a few hour I let it fly. I was quite pleased with the results, but not enough to actually leave the house. It was pouring down rain that day, and by the next day my ‘fro had frizzed. My little experiment did inspire me so maybe I will try it again sometime in the future.

For right now, I think my hair is still thriving despite my neglectful ways. I’ve been guilty of falling asleep without my silk bonnet and I know that I could definitely benefit from a deep condition. In a few weeks I’ll make my way to see my hair stylist for a trim and flat iron so that I can really assess my hair growth. In the meantime I guess my hair will be subject to whatever whim I’m feeling on a particular day.

If you are like me you are already watching all of the holiday movies and programming, especially on the Hallmark Channel. I so love this time of year. Not too long ago I posted about proper planning and the revelation that the holidays get by me every year because I don’t look ahead. That was the beginning of November and I thought sure I’d be proactive with my Christmas plans and decor, but unfortunately my finances didn’t allow that to happen. The beautiful (and pricey) pre-lit garland I wanted for my enormous and very prominent banister in the foyer would put me in the poor house. While I love the holidays, I’ve just never been a believer in going broke to buy gifts or decorations you only get to look at for approximately 30 days (and that’s if you get started early).

I almost gave up on my Christmas decor and figured that I’d get ready for next year by buying decorations when they went on sale. But then I got stuck in Hobby Lobby earlier this week when it started pouring down rain outside. Looking around as I waited out the rain, I happened upon a few enormous Christmas ornaments. They were so sparkly and beautiful that I decided I couldn’t leave without them. I arbitrarily decided on a number of boxes in colors that matched my first floor and was excited to find they were 50% off. Apparently there’s something to be said for waiting until the last minute to decorate. I still wasn’t quite sure what to do with them exactly. I didn’t want to have wasted money on more lackluster decorations like the cheapy garland I settled for to say I made an effort.

A few hours later while roaming around in Michaels, I got the idea to wrap up huge cardboard boxes as Christmas gifts and position the ornaments around it. I bought a couple of tubes of wrapping paper and coordinating ribbon (also 50% off), and headed for the UPS store. Another twelve bucks and I had everything I needed. Two hours of wrapping paper, sparkly ribbon, and craft glue dots, and suddenly I no longer missed the pre-lit garland that I wanted so badly. It is amazing how a little creativity and ingenuity made such a huge difference in ushering in the holiday spirit (at least where my decor is concerned). And I felt so excited about it because I had a hand (really two) in creating it. My niece, Domestic Chic, made an excellent point. It makes a huge difference when you are able to use your imagination and engage your creative power to produce something beautiful. You really feel good about it!

I love these boxes and the ornaments together, and the first time I have decor that’s not dwarfed or overwhelmed by my high ceilings. I also had enough ornaments to fill an empty space on my console that had been bugging me. I even had a couple extra to add into a wreath that I made for my door a couple of years ago (I’d upload that pic too, but it’s really cold outside).

In all I probably spent about $75 for everything which was a far cry from what a lot of people spend to decorate for the holidays. I was glad to be able to do something fun and festive without breaking the bank. It helps to keep priorities in order. Also I must admit that completing this project also got me to thinking, if I could accomplish this what else might be possible for my home with a little creativity?

I know it’s been more than a miute since I posted about my hair (or really anything). Truthfully I had gotten to the point that I was getting tired and frustrated with my hair. It has been growing, which is good, but I haven’t quite known what to do with it. My twist-outs didn’t seem to last long enough, and I was finding that I had too manipulate my hair more often than I would like. I feared that all the combing, detangling, and retwisting was doing more to damage my hair than to help me retain length.

At a point of frustration (and being tired of my hair all over the place), I decided to blow my hair out for a different look. A few months back I shared my excitement over my Willie Morrow comb attachment for my blow dryer and Blow Out Your Kinks by Hair Rules. The combo got my hair pretty straight back then, so I decided to dig up those tools and have at it. I didn’t have time to deep condition and all that good stuff, so I reached for some old standby products from my relaxed days- Biolage shampoo and conditioner. I’d completely forgotten how smooth and silky the Biolage products make your hair when you are going for straight styles! My hair was so straight by the time I finished blowdrying that I decided to go ahead and flat iron for the first time in six months. The results were incredible!!! My hair looked great. Unfortunately I ran out in the rain before I got a chance to take pics, so my hair frizzed up almost immediately. When I got home I did flat iron it again (although it didn’t come quite as straight), and here are the results.

Not only was my hair super straight, full, and soft, but I also got the shock of my natural hair journey. My hair has finally grown back to the length it was pre-transitioning phase. I had no idea, but I’m finally back to where I was before the thought to go natural even entered my mind. I have to say that I’m super excited about this discovery and while I won’t be flat ironing my hair every five minutes, I look forward to being able to wear my hair straight more often.

I usually don’t start thinking about the holidays until, well… when they actually get here. Thanksgiving usually gets by me altogether, and around the second week in December I usually get some bright idea that is to involved to execute so late in the season. As I was standing in the supermarket on Halloween buying candy and grumbling about holiday stuff being out too soon, it occurred to me that the reason I never make the most of the holidays is because I never properly plan for them. I never get around to having holiday parties, putting up decorations, sending out cards, or any of those things- at least not at the level I want to. Magazines are shooting photos and writing their holiday stories in July. Retailers are buying merchandise and designing Christmas displays while we are still at the beach.

view of the water from the beach in Grand Cayman

In the small everyday things, I have been a “take life as it comes” sort of individual. I may plan for the important things, but small things (like Christmas ornaments or poinsettias) I usually “see, like, and buy”. Standing in Michaels, I remembered that the things most important to me, I made the effort to think about in advance and plan for it. When I thought it was important that Husband and I go away for our 10th anniversary, I prayed and planned even though we didn’t yet have the funds. The result was a fabulous vacation in the Caymans. I bet if I put just a little more focus and energy on the months ahead, and did a little less flying by the seat of my pants, I could probably accomplish so much more (and finally have that holiday party I’ve always wanted).

This year I’ve decided that December 1st my tree and all of my decorations are going up. I want to have a full month of enjoyment from the wonderful and creative ideas that actually make it to fruition. If I start planning now, I may even get to have my holiday party. Most importantly, as I enjoy this holiday season I will also look toward the upcoming months and properly plan for what I’d like to see happen in my life during the first quarter of 2012.

Pictured: Ballet slippers from a performance when I was 4 yrs old and a painting of dancer given to me by my sister.

As kids, most of the things that we are passionate about do not make reasonable career pursuits in the minds of our parents. As a child I wanted to be a Broadway dancer, as a teen my sister wanted to be a fashion designer, and upon heading off to college my niece wanted to be a journalist. Albeit well-meaning, parents so often steer their children in the direction of respectable and stable career choices in the name of job security (as if there is any such thing anymore). As adults real life begins to happen- marriage, kids, bills, career, etc.- and long lost passions seem foolish in the light of everyday life. We tend to brush old ambitions to the side rather than finding ways to infuse small pieces of what we are passionate about into our respectable and stable lives.

All through my twenties my life just seemed to feel flat when I considered the person I thought I’d be. It wasn’t until shortly after my 30th birthday that I realized I had completely disconnected from all of the creative and artistic endeavors I had so much passion for long ago. I began excavating my passions when I first read The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. Not long after that I found myself back in dance classes. Somehow doing that gave way to the courage to do other things like taking drama classes and acting in a play while I was in seminary. I even noticed that my artistry and creativity popped up in unexpected ways, like in my preaching and teaching.

For this reason I became particularly excited when I read the story of Ria Dawn Carlo in the November issue of O magazine. As a child Ria fell in love with playing the piano and had dreams of becoming a concert pianist. After her teachers discouraged her by telling her that the odds were pretty slim, she grew away from music and eventually became a astrophysicist. When a change in career suddenly allowed her more free time, she decided to begin playing piano again at the age of 34. Since that time, she’s won an international competition and has even performed at Carnegie Hall for a fund-raiser. I’m sure when Ria made the decision to reconnect with her passion, she never imagined she’d grace the stage of a such a world-renowned and beloved venue. It just goes to show that you never know where pursuing your passion may lead you.

This article in O magazine also highlights seven other women with similar stories of following their passions (not all artistic), including that of Liana Munro. Shortly after turning 64, Liana began taking dance lessons in some of the Latin dances she’d learned as a child in Cuba during the mid-1950′s.  All of the stories were inspiring in a very practical way. It was a reminder that the gift that is in you is always waiting to be acknowledged and expressed, no matter your age. It’s never too late to recover your passion for something that you love to do and make it a real part of your life.

At the KerygmaWord's Ladies Brunch 2008 three months after graduating seminary

Many times when we talk about life, we talk about fearing change. It is said that many people fear the unknown and what life will be like after a major shift in circumstances. But I’ve discovered that for a lot of us, the really big fear isn’t change. The fear is that things won’t change. Chatting with my sista-girlfriend over text this morning reminded me of that. Part of what’s draining about undesirable circumstances is that you have to continue to face them day in and day out. Movement towards the exit sign of a bad season always feels slow and incremental, if you are privileged enough to see any movement at all. Often things are at such a standstill that it becomes so easy to let go of hopes, dreams, and visions that once upon a time you would cling to ferociously. Holding patterns have that effect.

As we were chatting I was reminded that things do in fact change and pretty quickly despite all indications otherwise. This time two years ago I celebrated my 35th birthday and was very unhappy. My ministry activities were showing limited potential, husband had just started a new business so we were more than broke, and all of my seminary colleagues with whom I’d graduated had paid ministry positions while I was just trying to figure life out. Then I made the bold and risky move of parting with my church home and remaining homeless until God said otherwise. Over the year that followed, I preached and taught more than I had during any other year in ministry. During that time I was able to reinvent and reposition myself.

Fast forward to October 2011, the business is thriving (although finances are still on the mend) and I have a church home where I’m serving and I’m happy. Now this is not one of those “happy ending” stories because I still have major frustrations and worry that many other things won’t change. For example, the blessing of a new church home seemed to come at an expense because the Lord dried up my preaching schedule and I’ve preached/taught less in 2011 than any other year in ministry (just look at my itinerary and you’ll see). But what the last two years have taught me is that there is no need to fear things won’t change because they will, even if it’s not exactly in the ways you want.

Yesterday I celebrated my birthday and I was elated to find that my hubby hooked his wife up with an iPad. I had been pleading with this man for an iPad for only God knows how long but he just couldn’t see the point. To him it was just a larger version of my iPhone (which it is). He was and is still convinced that this expensive plaything will be sitting off to the side by January. But I knew differently. I knew that a device like this has the potential to change the very way I function from day to day as I attend meetings, take notes in church, update my site, teach my online class, and surf the web.

Steve Jobs knew this too, and he knew it since 1978 when he cofounded Apple. If I was an ambitious writer I’d use these next few lines to offer a brief history and summarize the innovations of Steve Job’s creations. You can find that on Wikipedia. Instead I choose to wax poetic about how his foresight, vision, and brilliant creativity has changed the world and the way I function in it. It’s unbelievable the way this man had totally impacted our lives and significantly contributed to our collective history. As I sat at dinner amongst my group of friends celebrating the day I entered this world, I was saddened to hear the news of Steve Jobs leaving this world… news my husband received when he looked at FaceBook on his iPhone. Rest in peace Steve Jobs, and know that for the forseeable future we carry tangible evidence of your brilliant footprint.

Exhausted after teaching a string of workshops circa 2008

Over the last few months, I made a startling discovery- I haven’t been putting myself on my own to-do list. I’ve ignored the seemingly inconsequential signs of neglect: my gray-streaked temples amidst fading hair color, my colorless summer toes, the fact that I haven’t had a gelati from Rita’s all summer. I’ve also ignored the larger signs as well: my shorter temper, inability to hide my intolerance of ignorant people, and… well you get the picture. In general I have been a little too focused on my larger goals, and possibly a little too accommodating of other people’s needs. When you say ‘yes’ to seemingly small requests, you tend to overlook the energy and effort involved in managing your expectations, others’ expectations of you, other people’s stress levels and bad attitudes, and how you respond to them. Taken from that perspective, a small ‘yes’ can become a huge ‘I wish I hadn’t sad yes’.

A few weeks ago I decided to invest in myself by attending The Power Conference, a conference for women in business put on by the Women’s Business Consortium. I plan to share more details about this extraordinary event in the weeks to come, but for right now I just want to share a snippet of Mikki Taylor, Essence magazine editor-at-large and the phenomenal keynote speaker for this event. Here Mikki talks about putting yourself on your list.