They even threw in a dozen fresh eggs from the free range chickens that were wandering the yard. Oddly enough it was a pretty swank neighborhood for free range chickens.

If I have to buy firewood I’d rather help a couple kids help people in need.

In and of itself, that’s funny. I’ll let you revel in it.

Now go look at the site. It’s down right now because of a massive attack (screenshot). Must be the persecution of the last days.

No seriously. That’s what founder James L. Paris blamed the attack on. That’s funny.

The mustachioed Paris has a Twitter account. And a financial advice site called Christian Money.

That’s funny, too.

Then there’s Christian author and humorist Matthew Paul Turner who discovered Christian Chirp and went from incredulous to curious to #1 chirper to deleted in less than 24 hours.

That’s funny. If you like Turner’s irreverent take on faith, you’ll love his skewering of Joel Osteen.

Then Michael Hyatt, CEO of the Christian publisher Thomas Nelson made a comment about Chirper being a Christian ghetto, prompting multiple responses from Paris.

Christian media “mogul” cat fight. That’s kind of funny.

Paris’ best insult? Pointing out Hyatt’s publishing history, which includes a trio of Y2K survival books (one is a novel!).

OK, no disrespect to Hyatt, but that’s hilarious.

When it gets less funny is this blog post, the Truth about James L. Paris and Christian Chirp, alleging that he lied about being banned from Twitter (part of the ethos of Christian Chirp), that he censors Chirp content and that he was indicted for securities fraud. The comments get even uglier as Paris himself shows up to argue the charges.

Oh, Christians. And we wonder why people think we’re so weird (I mean persecuted). Musician and rabble-rouser Justin McRoberts has a good take on Christian Chirp. It’s not ha-ha funny, but it’s good.

As great a techno wonder as Craigslist is, I hate using it. Why? It’s nothing wrong with the site, it’s the people. Sadly people are often the downfall to many of technology’s innovations. Every time I post something on Craigslist I get countless e-mails with stupid questions, drawn out conversations that don’t go anywhere and time and time again I’m left hanging.

So here’s a tip to improve your Craigslist experience: Be helpful.

Responding to a Craigslist Ad
If you’re responding to something posted on Craigslist, be helpful:

• Read the listing thoroughly and make sure you’re not asking something that’s answered in the listing.
• If you’re looking at a widely available retail product, don’t ask the poster inane questions about it. They’re not a salesperson. Look it up online. Do your own research.
• Don’t contact the person unless you’re ready to buy. It’s OK to contact the seller and ask a few questions, but Craigslist isn’t for window shoppers.
• When you’re ready to contact the seller and buy, get to the point. So many people ask if the item is still available. Assume it is and skip straight to the terms. Don’t prolong the purchase with needless back and forth.
• Don’t leave a seller hanging. If you’re interested in the item, follow through. Overly polite sellers might give you first dibs and lose sales waiting on you. Other sellers will skip to the next interested buyer and you’ll be out of luck.

Posting a Craigslist Ad
If you’re posting something on Craigslist, be helpful:

• Include a picture of your actual item. It may seem like a pain, especially if you’re selling a widely available retail product, but it gives you credability. Here’s the actual product, I’m not making this up.
• Pack your posting full of details. Anticipate questions and include everything you can think of, whether or not it may be relevant. It should go without saying, but be honest.
• Be very specific about your terms. Cash or trade? Pick up or drop off? If you don’t specify you leave the door open to all sorts of wacky ideas.
• As people ask questions, update your listing with the answers. More than likely other people have the same questions.
• Delete your post when the item sells and contact any remaining inquirers to let them know the item sold. A quick one-sentence e-mail blind-copied to everyone will do. No one wants to be left hanging.

Not all my experiences on Craigslist are that painful. But I’ve had enough awkward and pointless interactions to know better. Simply being helpful would have made all the difference.

It’s also worth repeating the standard web advice: be careful.

I’ve been friended by my mother. Now I know how everyone feels.

Once the initial shock faded I approved that friend request and heartily (and somewhat jokingly) welcomed my mother into the world of Facebook.

The idea of children being embarrassed of their parents online is kind of funny. I get it. I think what’s behind all of it is the false sense of privacy that we have online. We have this sense that somehow certain people aren’t seeing what we’re saying online, that this is our own unique space. The problem with that is that it’s just not true. No matter how protected you think you are, whatever you do or say online is public knowledge. You have no expectation of privacy (or you shouldn’t).

And I get that especially those wild teens want to have their own private space where their parents aren’t eavesdropping. But the problem is that nothing is secret. The whole private/public divide is a mirage. It comes down to what your mother always told you: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Because whoever you’re bad mouthing is likely to come across whatever you said. And that might not be a big deal if you’re talking about random strangers, but it gets ugly (and legal) when you talk about employers or coworkers or friends or relatives. If you wouldn’t say something to someone’s face, then don’t say it. Or at least be prepared for the consequences.

Because honestly, if your mom getting on Facebook changes your behavior, then you don’t have much integrity to begin with. If that’s the case you’re either lying to your mom or you’re lying to everyone else. Don’t be a liar.

I think part of what’s so difficult about social media is that it’s a new platform to talk about and react and comment on things that don’t frequently come up in every day conversation. So suddenly political ideas or religious views or lewd jokes are seen by people we never expected or intended. Not only is it easy to misunderstand but there’s little or no context. It’s a recipe for division (just look at the Facebook comments during last year’s election).

These kinds of social media interactions allow us to see parts of people we would never see before. That takes some getting used to. I think it also takes some understanding on all sides. Moms need to understand that when they see their kids joking and responding to friends. And likewise kids need to get that when they see their parents being real people.

Remember that the next time you see someone say something you take offense at. A little honesty and a little understanding would go a long way.

Abby alluded to it yesterday and now here’s a bit of the original followed by Lexi’s rendition:

You can snag a copy of “Devil’s Right Hand.” It’s included in the Unearthed box set:

iTunes: Single / Box set

Amazon: Digital Single / Digital Box set / CD box set

But that’s besides the point.

He said that the most important cause for today’s generation is the environment. Easily the number one cause they rally behind. Why? He said because it’s easy. Few will argue about the importance of protecting our planet. It requires little research and little knowledge. You can do simple things to be more eco-friendly and you’ve done your part. Compare that to health care. There’s a cause that’s not simple. It requires loads of research, you’ll face lots of opposition and argument, and you’ll be hard pressed to find a simple way to get involved like recycling paper or turning off a light.

“Social cause used to mean marching and burning bras,” Runge said. “Today it means wearing a bracelet or a T-shirt. Putting a sticker on your laptop. It’s too easy.”

He has a point. We like causes that are easy. It’s easy to slap an anti-abortion sticker on your car. It’s a lot harder to volunteer in a crisis pregnancy center or even support a woman so she can keep her child.

But I think part of it is cutting through crap and making things clear. I like charity: water because they make the case for clean water so simple and compelling. Compare that to the fair trade chocolate campaign. It’s an equally compelling cause, but they haven’t simplified or clarified the cause, the call to action or anything to make it easy enough to get involved. I can still claim confusion and rest in my inaction. I like M&Ms. If you want me to stop eating them you need to make a compelling case. I feel like a bastard saying that, but it’s true.

What I’m saying is that in some ways causes should be easy. It should be easy to understand the issue. It should be easy to take action, whether it’s donating money, spreading the word, changing your behavior or whatever. And the results of your action should be clear.

The cause itself may not be easy. But I should be able to engage with the cause with ease. Invisible Children strikes me as an incredibly complicated cause that they’ve made very easy.

So I think Runge is right—we like easy causes. But I think that’s simplifying it. We like causes where we can make a difference. We like causes where we can see a difference. If you make that part easy, I think people will be willing to do incredibly challenging things. I’ll do the hard work and make the hard choices, but only if you’ve made the decision easy.

I think there are a lot of lessons here for nonprofits and churches. Most organizations want people to go farther than simple bumpersticker support. And I think if you make the path clear, people will follow it, no matter how hard it is. The 2008 presidential campaign of Barack Obama is clear proof of that. Presidential campaigning has never been simple or easy, but the Obama campaign made it clear and compelling and people volunteered and donated like never before.

Make it easy to support a hard cause.

Getting to the events was a miracle in itself. I owe a big debt to my mother-in-law for watching the kids, Michael Buckingham for splitting a hotel room with me, Cultivate for being cheap, Story for hooking me up with a free ticket, Brad Abare and Matt Kerner for posing as chaufers, and United for having cheap flights to Chicago. Thanks!

Cultivate vs. Story
The two events are like a study in contrasts. While the subject matter was the same (church communication) the style and approach of the two events couldn’t be more different.

Cultivate focused on conversations. You could text in questions to the main session speakers and they’d respond almost immediately (though it would have been much cooler to see those questions on the screen). The workshops were more conversations than presentations. Interaction and conversation was the name of the game. The round tables set up in the auditorium even included power cords coming down from the ceiling so us techie geeks could plug in our laptops and Twitter away (assuming we could get onto the WiFi network). Cultivate was also cheap (under $70) and the proceeds benefited two nonprofits, Blood:Water Mission and the Center for Church Communication (disclaimer: I work for CFCC).

Story focused on the show. It was held in the beautiful Paramount Theater in Aurora, had an amazing stage set up and included a first rate rock band, cutting edge video and presenters sharing powerful ideas and stories. The crowd was much bigger, it cost a lot more (though as I said, I got in free), included bigger names and more swag (Cultivate had no swag). I did miss the workshop day of Story (it cost extra and sold out), which probably would have included more interaction.

I summarized the differences to my wife by showing her the lanyards for each event. Cultivate’s had a background of Twitter avatars of the attendees (upwards of 100 of them). Story had their beautiful logo and lots of design flourishes. The back of the Cultivate lanyard had the schedule. The back of the Story lanyard had an ad (they actually made fun of how many sponsors they had during the event by singing a spoof of “Seasons of Love” from Rent; funny, but also a little awkward).

Lessons Learned
Both events had killer ideas and lessons. With so many incredible people involved you’d have to be asleep not to learn something. I took a lot of notes and we’ll share a few quotes:

• Phil Cooke: Jesus ‘wasted’ his adult life on stories.
• Phil Cooke: Jesus didn’t reach the world for Jesus.
• Maurilio Amorim: Facebook is like a nursing home right now.
• What Would Jesus Tweet session: Go do stuff, then maybe a crowd will show up.
• What Would Jesus Tweet session: Social media issues are an age old problem for the church—our “brand” (people) have been messing up in public since Jesus’ day.
• Blood:Water Mission: What would happen if your church had a capital campaign for something besides your church? (this idea came up in multiple places)
• Clint Runge: Social cause used to mean marching and burning bras. Today it means wearing a bracelet or a T-shirt. It’s too easy.
• Justin Wise: Whether or not people like something is not a helpful indicator of success.
• Jon Acuff: Seed the clouds for ideas, don’t chum the water for sharks.
• Ed Young, the ‘pastors shouldn’t cuss’ guy, said Christians need to “get their as in gear,” referencing the great commission translated ‘as you are going…’ That one made me laugh.
• Ed Young: You want depth? Be active in sharing your faith.
• Dave Gibbons: Success should equal descending numbers (less poverty, less homelessness, less abuse, etc.), not ascending numbers (more people, more converts, more baptisms, etc.)
• Chris Seay: If you’re reading the Bible to figure out how to argue with people—nobody likes you.
• Chris Seay: We’re not tired because we’re doing too much, we’re tired because we’re not doing the right stuff.
• Nancy Beach: The best place to see God is in the faces and stories of others. (Nancy busted out the Frederick Buechner—yes!)
• Stacy Spencer: The role of the preacher is to help people experience the old story.
• Mike Foster: There are no secrets.

Bottom Line
I commented on Twitter that I wanted more story in Story. Story billed itself as “a first-of-its-kind experience for communicators” and a “theatrical conference experience.” Holding it in a theater doesn’t make it a theatrical conference experience. It was cool, don’t get me wrong. But it wasn’t what I expected. It started out with a cool video of dialogue snippets from movies, capitalizing on the idea of story and moved into an impressive live cover of Arcade Fire. But from there it went into worship and then Ed Young and it wasn’t offering an overarching narrative. In the afternoon session some of the speakers had more of a story focus (Nancy Beach brought up a storyteller and Stacy Spencer talked about how to tell a story [I imagine Donald Miller did too, but I had to leave early to catch a train]) and there were more theatrical elements (drum group, that whiteboard confession thing, etc.) but there was still no narrative.

It was a well produced conference that focused on story, but I didn’t meet my expectations for a first of its kind experience. I don’t attend many conferences so I’m not an expert, but it wasn’t drastically different from events I have attended. I’ve heard a lot about events like Cataylst but haven’t attended, and Story didn’t seem radically different. It also reminded me of a megachurch experience and I’m not a megachurch guy.

Cultivate, on the other hand, tapped into the DIY vibe of events like Idea Camp and UnSummit. It was no frills, cheap and focused on conversation instead of proclammation. That approach resonates with me.

Remember that I’m talking about differences in style and approach. Both conferences covered the same subject and their content was great. This is more about my preferences and expectations than anything. Judging by the Twitter chatter, I’m the only one who’s not fawning over Story. Most people loved it. I enjoyed it, I just didn’t love it.

All About People
More than anything these events are about meeting people. Like I said, I had the chance to meet at least a dozen folks in person that I’ve only known online. I also met a bunch of new people, including a bunch of Twin Cities church communicators (we’ll be getting together again). Those kinds of connections are the true benefit of these events. Forget the expectations, the style, the lessons—it’s all about people. And I met some cool people.

In the end I had a great week. Maybe I’ll do it again in another five years.

We’ve heard that most judges love doing adoptions, and in our case it was no different. Judge Richard Spicer greeted us at the probate window and talked to Lexi while we were checking in. During the hearing he read over our home study and asked us a few basic questions, more or less getting to know us and making sure everything was in order.

Lexi talked pretty much the entire time, pausing only to spin her office chair. Judge Spicer thought it was hilarious and near the end when he was making the official decree he said, “based on the evidence I’ve heard today—or tried to hear—I officially pronounce…”

It was quick and easy and actually went by in a blur. I went with the ellipses above because I can’t even remember exactly how he said it. While we were taking the pictures—something Judge Spicer seemed very excited to do—Lexi apparently exclaimed, “We’re a family!” I must have been so wrapped up in the moment I didn’t even hear it. Abby told me about it while we were having our celebratory breakfast at Keys.

We still have some paperwork to file and pay for (you think I’m exaggerating, but I’m not—it truly never ends) that will get Milo proof of citizenship and a Social Security card, but we’re almost there. This process has taken over two years now (we started in August 2007) and it’s so good to be nearing the end. Thanks for everybody’s help and support!

Thursday morning it snowed. The overnight low was 35 with a 30-40% chance of precipitation. This year it was moist, but the snow and rain mostly held off. Last year I didn’t dress warmly enough (I foolishly packed lightly) so this year I beat the cold with seven layers on top and four on bottom. Last year when I did this I got sick and had an awful night. This year I managed to stay healthy, but I still didn’t have fun.

Homelessness sucks. There’s no putting a pretty spin on it. After my tiny glimpse of homeless life I got to go home. All my needs were met and I didn’t have to worry about my next meal, my next place to stay, what would happen to my kids or even deal with the emotional crisis that goes along with losing everything.

While I’m not a big fan of the Cardboard Box City event itself (it’s designed for teenagers, so they have a DJ, prizes and a band—something about a dance party for the homeless where you can win a gift card to Jimmy Johns is so terribly wrong), I love the organizations it raises money for. My favorite part of the night is when the organizers get up to talk about homelessness and they share somes stats and play audio from their answering maching. It’s family after family leaving messages and begging for a place to stay. It’s brutal. Some of the facts:

• 60% of the people served by these shelters are kids.
• The youngest person in the shelter Thursday night was 3 months old.
• Families moving forward had a 58% success rate last year (moving families from shelters into homes) and a 92% rate overall. Project Home serves families on a shorter term basis and they’re usually transferred back to the Ramsey County Shelter where 80-90% obtain housing.
• These organizations used to receive 25 calls a month from families needing a place to stay. Now they get 300 calls every month.

The Star Tribune recently covered homelessness in the Twin Cities and the stats aren’t pretty:

• Twin Cities homeless shelters used to be cyclical. “Now we’re just staying at capacity. We have been since July 2007.”
• “[Twin Cities homeless shelters] were full before the economy went sour. Now we’re beyond full.”
• Homeless man wins the ‘lottery’ and gets a temp bed for 28 days: “Now I can concentrate on getting a job.”

The homeless situation is getting worse and it’s not the stereotypical image of a chronically homeless person at the exit ramp. Families are homeless. Kids are homeless. And most of them just need a little help to get back on their feet.

Big thanks to the people who already donated. If you haven’t already, you can still donate. To learn more about homelessness I strongly recommend you check out InvisiblePeople.tv.

One of the big topics of the day was the separation between private and public. One of the sessions specifically addressed this issue, but other sessions kept coming back to it. It’s kind of ironic that it kept coming up because it’s an issue I’ve dealt with a lot recently. I blogged on this a while back and determined that nothing is secret. As Seth Godin said, “Always act as if you’re on Candid Camera, because you are.”

A few thoughts on the subject:

• Honesty and integrity are the only real option. No matter how much you try to lock down and protect your information, it’s never completely secure. You could slip up, someone else could post it, someone who you gave access to could share it with someone you don’t want to see it. Basically you have no control, so you better get used to the idea that whatever you say will be seen by those you don’t want to see it. So either don’t say anything you’ll regret or be prepared for the consequences. In summary, if you can’t say it to their face, don’t post it online.
• One strategy is to use SEO tactics to point people to what you want them to see. Make sure your professional site comes up first on Google instead of your Facebook page (though this won’t hide your Facebook page from anyone who looks hard enough).
• Another option is to overcome any negative content by flooding the web with positive content. Again, it won’t remove or negate what you don’t want people to see, but it will give a better picture of what you want them to see.
• At some point things need to come to the middle: People need to behave more honestly, but we also need to understand the multitude of roles that are seen online simultaneously (personal, professional, parental, etc.) and cut one another some slack. People make mistakes, but that’s OK.
• The whole point of sharing information in a public forum online is that there’s a benefit. You make connections because you didn’t just keep it to yourself. That has inherent risks, but also inherent rewards. That’s just part of the territory.
• Employers shouldn’t treat their employees like idiots. Likewise, employees shouldn’t act like idiots.

While there’s a lot of debate and discussion around this issue, in my mind it’s pretty simple. There’s no such thing as control or privacy. If you have something to hide and someone wants to find it bad enough, they will. So either don’t have anything to hide or be prepared to live with whatever you were hiding going public.

We talked about a lot more at the UnSummit (including a great session on telling stories), but this is the topic that seemed to resonate with me and I kept coming back to. Maybe someday I’ll write a more coherent post about it, but for now hopefully that gets the ideas out there.