Khayotikk: If it's cheesy, it must be Brie.

Freaky Me - Part 3

2013-01-15T01:22:00.000-05:00

I pay for people ahead of me in line.

I know what you're thinking. "How nice," or "that's sweet," or "that's not weird, it's a good deed."

Nope.

I don't do it because I'm nice, or because I have a lot of money and can necessarily afford to give all my money away. Nor do I do it to play "pay it foreward."

I'm just really, really impatient.

I HATE waiting for people to count out change in line. Granted, I do it, too, but only if there's nobody behind me. I gather all my goods, hit up the counter, pop my wallet open... and the last thing I want to do is wait for somebody to dig through her purse or his pocket for sixteen cents.

I hate it. HATE it. Makes my eyes roll and my lungs sigh. Hard.

I'm so sorry. This makes me a bad person- my impatience- and I really should try to work on it. But until then, maybe tomorrow is your lucky day and I'll pay for your under-five-dollar purchase.

More power to ya.

Freaky Me - Part 2

2013-01-10T12:03:00.000-05:00

I practice my evil laughter in the shower.

I know most people sing, some people plan out their day, and others just silently scrub-a-dub.

Me?

Listen, you never know when your evil plot for world domination will come to fruition. You have no freaking clue if the dolphins you've trained to plant gps scramblers in coves and cays all over the world will finally develop some work ethic. You cannot see the future.

I want to prepare myself. So, yes, I practice my cackles and maniacal guffaws whilst exfoliating my elbows.

I bet you're just thinking of the miniscule 'hand-wringing' most villains utilize, but I feel like if I just did it while washing my hands, it would kind of be boring. But a good, hearty, long-lasting chortle with a pumice stone in your hand, buffing your heels to tender foot meat (there are only so many words I can think of right now) will solidify your alpha position in this world.

Also, it makes you feel really good- like, really, really good- about yourself. There's just something about it.

But family, roommates, and significant others passing the bathroom door tend to get a bit nervous, so be sure to have a back story, just in case.

"My vote for American Idol made a difference."

Freaky Me - Part 1

2013-01-09T14:40:00.001-05:00

I thought I'd start sharing some of my deepest, darkest secrets for the honesty and amusement of others. Also, I hate having to re-explain my quirks, and it will help to send people to this handy place when they see me doing something weird. So here is the first installment:

I hate drinking on old spit.

'Old spit?' you may ask. Yes, old spit. You know what I'm talking about, you just have to envision it.
Imagine you're rocking out to some Foo Fighters, reading a 'zine, and drinking a tall glass of fruit punch Mixade (as I get my flavored mixes from discount grocers). You hoist your gargantuan glass and take a good, solid gulp-number-one, then return the glass to its upright position. Well a few minutes later, you're about to go in for gulp-number-two, but your first one has left a few sticky droplets on the rim of the glass.

Maybe you, darling reader, would drink from the same spot.

I'm a tad more picky.

I hate drinking on old spit.

I would have to turn the glass a few centimeters to the right/left and catch a clean lip-mounting-area before I agree to drink again.
And ten minutes later, I'll do it again.
And again.
And... you get the point.

And yes, I know that, eventually, I'll run out of fresh places to plant my mouthparts. I shudder at the very thought. I've flown into numerous bouts of panic wondering if I'll be able to finish this glass of juice, or be forced to pour it into a new glass. So, if there is one, last, solitary clean arc of print-less glass, I'll dive in (carefully) and finish the last of the juice.

I HATE drinking on old spit.

Oh, yeah, I could just use a straw, but that's ONE lip-juncture, and if THAT get's sticky, I'm doomed.

P.S. This is only for non-tea beverages... we already know it only takes four actions to drink tea. It has no time to get sticky.

The Comeback

2013-01-03T12:31:00.002-05:00

I have been either too busy or too lazy to do everything I need to do, and, frankly, it's really bringing me down. I keep saying "I wish" or "I'd like to" when I really should just knuckle down and do. So I'm attempting to get things back into order, at least in a few ways.
I do have a new video to edit, so that should take some time. I also need to figure out my Etsy bylife and situate that. Meanwhile, I still have work, family, and sideline relationships to maintain, whilst still staying sane.

Okay, funny junk.
Somebody chose not to warn me that a friend was crashing on the floor while I was asleep on the couch, half-decent. Then, when I got up to let the cat out, I almost trip over a slumbering body while trying to keep my berries in the basket. Nice save.

I suppose it's payback for telling everyone to "Look at my breasts!" in LB back when.

Anyway, there's my mission statement. Not to look at my breasts, but to get back in line.

Tide Pods...

2012-05-24T18:19:00.001-04:00

...are AWESOME. They smell amazing, they magically dissolve, and they clean like whoa.
And they're visually stimulating.
So it's no wonder kids are sucking them down like Flintstone gummies.

Let's be serious here. They do look delicious. I'm a grown woman and if not for how icky they feel in your hand, I'd be tempted to taste one... Just to see.

But children are stupid, so-
Okay, not stupid. My apologies, "parents". Children lack the no-no-code, so they pick up anything that promises amusement and/or scrumption. Now, there are some-odd numbers of kids suffering from vomiting and diarrhea after they got ahold of the pretty pods and ate one. So is it Tide's fault?

No.

Why? Because the packaging specifically states to keep out of reach of children, like, four times. Actually, you can't even open the thing before you acknowledge the label. It's like an EULA; find it in the store and see for yourself.

So I hope nobody tries to sue Tide. Trust me, the last people to have blood on their hands are the people who help you wash it out of clothing.

Gone, Gone, Gone...

2012-05-16T16:32:00.000-04:00

A lot has been going on, and I really don't have an excuse.
I do, actually; I've been under a LOT of stress. Literally, my biological clock has probably wound itself back about four years.
But I'll be around doing what I do. And more fun and odd than ever.

Omc...

2012-02-03T10:15:00.000-05:00

Isn't this awful?

2011-08-24T10:36:00.000-04:00

I'm still trying to figure my life out and unfortunately, it doesn't want to unravel. It's such a shame the world revolves around money... if creativity and imagination were worth cash, I'd... well, I wouldn't sell mine, but I'd probably rent it out for science projects, fashion shows, and design competitions. Be crazy to sell it, I worked so hard to build it.

So right now, I'm on the phone making that call nobody wants to make when they're grasping at straws, and still have to make a trip to that place nobody wants to visit when they're grasping at the aforementioned straws. It hurts bad, but that could also be hunger.

And what's up with the wait music? I hear it over and over again, but it's so blandly generic, I'm positive it couldn't possibly ingrain its melody into my gray matter without managing a hostage situation.

i hate weddings

2011-08-13T00:55:00.000-04:00

Really. They take a lot of time to plan bridal showers for. I know I ended that sentence with a preposition, but trust me, that's the best grammar you're going to get out of me this week.

Dear Arizona,

2011-08-02T00:29:00.000-04:00

You know, you've always been my go-to beverage when I had little or lots of pocket money and a thirst for power and fruit punch. But now that Brisk has come out with it's 24 oz. wallops of liquid, I'm torn. I know I've cheated on you, but I just can't help it. They offer lemonade all by itself. And mango with dragonfruit. And... peach iced tea.

Brisk and I have a relationship that... you just can't understand.

But you and I will always have Arnold Palmer... We'll always have Arnold.

Love, Brie

The Webb

2011-07-31T00:46:00.001-04:00

The Webb seems to be working out very well. At least for me. I've been tinkering with it today, and I feel pretty great about the content going up. Granted, I don't have a lot of tutorials at the moment, but I do have lots of stories and photos.

And wow, I've never had to delve so far into my memory for html bits. My brain is mush. But today was a productive day, and tomorrow shall be, too.

Oh, wait, it IS tomorrow right now. Then yesterday was productive, and so shall be today. Also. Too. And. Including. As such. Hence.

Treebeard

2011-07-29T23:37:00.004-04:00

OMC Work is so fun when you're listening to awesome bands rock out... It's like having an ice cream sundae with shards of sweet guitar jubilee inside of your ears.

Khayotikk's Wikkid Webb

2011-07-24T14:26:00.000-04:00

Today, I'm announcing the birth of Khayotikk's Wikkid Webb. If you're a fan of my tutorials and projects, that's where you'll be able to find them. Maybe you think you've seen them all, but you never know what you may have missed.

Check it out today!:)

Jake likes water.

2011-07-22T22:31:00.000-04:00

Jake is my little brother. Actually, he's Boyfriend's younger brother. He's an odd sort of dude with weird words and weird ways. And he likes water.

He just went into a four-minute shpiel about water and how awesome and amazing it is. He went on and on about it, and after awhile, it got annoying.

Granted, yes, water is fooken phenomenal. It cleanses and refreshes, especially today when the heat combined with the heat index was soulfully b*tchin', to say the least.

But his random object-love rants can go a bit borderline fanatic. "Pickles are cucumbers, at first."

Meanwhile, I like tea, and you've seen where that landed me, so I suppose we're in the same boat on that one.

Drink up, Jakee Bake.

Comfort Food Part II

2011-07-21T15:22:00.000-04:00

This is how you make my kind of tuna sandwich:
3 cans of chunk light tuna in water
1 can of solid white albacore
Brown mustard
Yellow mustard
Mayonnaise
LOTS of honey mustard
4 sweet gherkins
Black pepper

Lay a good size glob on two slices of white bread and you've just won my heart. Perfect sandwich for a summer day.

Awolnation

2011-07-20T17:47:00.000-04:00

I really liked the song "Sail", without having seen the artist. Then I watched the original video and the singer doesn't even match the voice. Am I the only one who feels this way? I expected somebody who looked like the vampire from the Fallout Boy videos. Or somebody who looks like Shaun Morgan.

That's just my thoughts on it.

Comfort Food Part I

2011-07-17T23:14:00.000-04:00

Something about Panko breaded shrimp and cherry Crush makes me feel both luxurious and absurdly cheap at the same time. I almost feel like the soda outdoes the shellfish.
I'm sorry, but I'm not hungry.

2011-07-16T01:42:00.001-04:00

Wow... What is Candice up to tonight? I feel like we shouldn't even guess, but assumption is frkkn bliss!!!

2011-07-14T18:46:00.001-04:00

))<>(( That's the symbol for Manchester Transfer, right? I get confused about the buttcheek spacing. NO, don't Google that. But you're going to anyway.

SuperMemo

2011-07-12T14:22:00.002-04:00

Have we as a nation collectively decided to completely disregard Superman III as a film? Don't raise your eyebrow; you didn't get the memo either, did you?

It's hot.

2011-07-11T23:32:00.000-04:00

I expect that's to be expected, but the heat index is also high, and the humidity is, too... Now everybody feels like death and nobody wants to leave the house, which means I have to.
Remember when it snowed every Monday-Tuesday? I'm happy this is not snowstorms. Heat I can deal with.

I just wish there was SOME snow, because it would be frkkn awesome to eat snow on days like today.

Fun Fact:

2011-07-10T00:20:00.002-04:00

The first thing I do when I hear a terrible noise through the window is check the time. Cops love when you know the exact time stuff happens. Nerds.

Fun Fact:

2011-07-09T03:02:00.002-04:00

I'm probably one of the best friends to have and the worst to lose purely because when I walk away, I walk away with a vengeance. Nicely.

Guitar

2011-07-07T20:50:00.002-04:00

"I think he's playing his finger flicker to prove he still has some talent to offer, 'so please, don't break our friendship contract, guys'."

Can you spell 'inappropriate'?

2011-07-07T01:13:00.002-04:00

John just got airhumped during 'antidisestablishmentarianism'. Awesome night.