Just Babbling

FEELING POETIC

2008-07-07T17:40:00.000-07:00

I wrote these two poems which I submitted to Banaag Diwa - Ateneo's somewhat yearly compilation of literary pieces.

-->

AMBOT

Took over my mind

Logical reasons I could not find

Enveloped my body

Made me nobody

Overpowered my soul

I could not control

Drove my entire being

Overhauled my sense of feeling

Like a string pulling me

To the vastness of infinity

No action

No direction

Afraid to move, afraid to act

Always aware of the fact

That I am a coward

And changing it is real hard

WITHERED AND LOST

In my mind

is where I will find

Memories of you

and me too

Laughter and sadness

Love and madness

Here in my hypocampus

I can’t afford to lose

We enjoy each other’s company

Though we are surrounded by many

We are ‘lovers’, they say

But I keep on denying, come what may

‘Coz he is like my best friend

And that will never bend

Until out of the blue

You told me what is true

That you love me, you really do

And asked me if I feel the same way too

I answered, “Yes,

but only as a friend”.

You seemed hurt

But it is what I have to blurt

I added, “We can still be friends”.

And you said, “Yes”.

But it did not work in reality

It twisted your honesty

You seemed cold

Someone I can’t even hold

You made me feel ‘nothing’

Like our friendship was never ‘something’

You treated me like dirt,

you’re trying to remove from your shirt

I tried to talk to you

But you always say, “I’ve got many things to do”

Please stop your excuses

I am not clueless

I understand why

That it makes me cry

Was it my fault

it all came to a halt?

Tell me, I’m begging you

If you really despise me, if it’s true

So I’ll know where to stand

and if I can still hold your hand

Maybe I just can’t accept

Our friendship already reached its depth

Now, I have to admit this is the cost

of our friendship that is withered and lost

happy mother's day!

2008-05-11T06:35:00.000-07:00

Greetings to all moms especially to my everdearest mama. It's also her birthday today. So, happy mother's day and happy birthday, mama!

Here is a pic of me and my mama. My mama is so kind-hearted and just. She's so friendly. She even befriends my classmates and friends. She's so caring. When I get sick, she really stays by my side. I love it when she cooks. Her delicacies really taste inexplicably delicious. She's a real person. She doesn't wear a mask when she faces you. I love it when she laughs and cracks jokes. I love it when she cuddles me in her arms and kisses me and tells me I'm pretty though I tell her, "Biased man ka ma, ui! Mama man gud taka". hehe. Then, we'll laugh real hard. We are like bestfriends. I can tell her my secrets especially my crushes and "kilig moments". She's the best mom in the world. I am proud of her. I love you so dearly and I know you love me more. Thanks for everything, for all the sacrifices you've done for us. Sorry for the times I tend to be hard-headed and stubborn. I'll always be here for you no matter what. Thanks God for giving you to us. Words are never enough to express my deep appreciation for your being. Love you so much, Mama! Hugs and kisses to you...mwaaahuggzzz...

God is so amazing!!! Amen!

2008-04-12T10:07:00.000-07:00

A few minutes ago, my friend, Janx, sent me a link to a somewhat evangelical discourse by Louie Giglio during Chris Tomlin's "How Great is our God Tour". At first, I'm quite not drawn into it since I'm stuck in making our user manual for our SAD project plus the said video was divided into 15 parts which was obviously quite long. But then, he told me to really watch it because it's nice and it won't take much of my time. Convincing as he is, I followed the link.

Lo and behold, I found the most touching, and immense revelation of the truth about God. You know why? Because Mr. Giglio presented amazing scientific facts that really proved how great He really is. He mentioned some stars found in our galaxy that are million or trillion times more enormous but many more million lightyears away from our beloved Earth. Imagine if that's how big they are and the Earth is just like a golf ball (as how Mr. Giglio compared it with), then how little we really are. Plus God knows every single thing about us, starting from how we are formed through the sexual love-making of our parents up to now, as we are existing and breathing here in this very state. He knows what we are thinking and feeling. What's more amazing was 'laminin'. Laminin? Sounds alien, right? But Mr. Giglio made me understand what it is. It is a cell adhesion protein molecule that holds all our cells and membranes together. "It's like a glue", he says. When I googled the word right after hearing it, searched for its images, I said "Wow! Amazing!" You know what I've seen? The laminin was shaped much the same way as the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Woah! Now, I'm a 101% believer that God really holds us. For sure, as long as I live, that image will forever stay in my mind. I continued watching and found out it's in the Bible at Colossians. There had been an unexplainable and incomparable enlightenment that had happened to me just few minutes ago. I was really so touched. It almost made me cry. I promised to myself I won't ever question God no matter how difficult life may get. We really are indeed miracles as what Mr. Giglio exclaimed. God is really great! Simply amazing! Highly powerful! Our king, Our majesty, isn' t he?

And for you to also feel what I've felt, click here to see for yourself. God bless us all!

...the result of the SAD defense

2008-03-22T05:04:00.000-07:00

Well, it took me quite a long time to recover from the result of our second defense for our major project in SAD (Systems Analysis and Design) which happened last March 12. What we do here is that we present the program output of the system analysis we made in a certain company. Our company is a hospital, the CHDCH (Community Health and Development Cooperative Hospital). The scope is quite big but we are able to comply with them.

--> before the defense
Our time schedule is 10:00 in the morning. So, we met around 8 am to wrap all things up. The day before the defense day, we conducted an error checking in the program plus we added more necessary functionalities to it. It took us until 11. I think it was near midnight already. Still, we haven't finished all the things we needed to edit. So, we assigned most of the job to Janx since he is the lead programmer. But unfortunately, Janx was not able to do all of them since he fell asleep. Well, that's no big deal. Sabutabol man siya. So, two hours before the event, we still made changes in our program. Yes, we were cramming. Ge lang! We do best when we are pressured ika nga.

--> defense time!
We waited for 30 minutes for the panelists to arrive. We were informed they were still on a photo shoot for the graduation picture. While waiting, we prayed. We were all nervous. Janx ran the program again to make sure no problems will be encountered along the program demo. Finally, they arrived. I was really shaking that time. We haven't practiced well the presentation. It's 'on-the-spot'. I took a long deep breath and started talking. It all went fine, I guess. After a few minutes of talking, we presented a demo of our program. Janx 'demoed' it. Nicoy and I prepared to back him up. Then, the panelists kept on butting in their questions. We clarified them one by one. And when we triggered the report for the SOA, shocks! There was a bug. We missed it out during the checking. Janx said that it was already fixed. Maybe there's a problem with transferring the codes to Nicoy's laptop. Supposed to be, the program should have been demoed using Janx's laptop but there's a technical failure so we use Nicoy's. Waaaaa...we just explained why it happened to the panelists. Sir Ed, the chair, and Sir John and Sir Bikoy seemed fine with it but i'm sure it was really big deduction from our points. Then, they threw many questions. We were able to explain some well but with other questions, we were trapped unfortunately. Then, they said we should have added statistics reports in our system since we are handling the entire hospital as what our title said "Hospital Information System". I told them "Sir, but those things are out of our scope". But they rebutted it is needed if we want to give good and quality services to the hospital. Then, i realized the problem is with the title. We told them we are only concentrating on patient records. They then said, "so, you should have named it patient/patient record information system". More questions and contradictions and defenses and explanations followed. Blah. Blah. Blah.

--> the verdict
We were asked to go out for a while for the panelists to have their caucus. Our friends, Tsang one of them, asked us how did it go. Then, we answered, "giprito mi, bai". But still, he kept on congratulating us. And I kept on saying, "ala pa gani, magdilang-anghel ka sana". Then, we were called. Sir Edwin started, "we decided not to really pass you, guyz, but instead give you a conditional acceptance". The moment I heard it, I felt like the whole world collapsed on my shoulder. Nicoy seemed like he's still in denial. Janx had a blank face. After the verdict, our adviser, Sir Oneil, met us. He ran down all the comments and necessary changes the panelists required us to do on our program. Janx kept drawing on a sheet of paper. Sir O noticed him and said, "si janx o murag dili na gusto maminaw". Janx said sorry. Sir O assured him that he understands what we are feeling. Nicoy kept saying "unfair man sir". I agreed. I knew we have met the scope and limitations for our program. I said there was just a misunderstanding. I asked Sir O to ask the panelists if we can just change the title and edit just the parts related to our scope. He said he'll try to convince them. I hope he can. On the other hand, we liked to meet the panelists once again to clear things up, to negotiate. Sir O had set a date but unfortunately, we were not able to meet them on the said date.

--> my feelings toward it
I'm really frustrated about it. After the defense, I went to the chapel and cried. I felt really down. We really worked hard on it especially Nicoy and Janx. We even started working on it earlier compared to others. I felt it was really unfair. It was unfair not because we are conditionally accepted but because we were asked to add those statistic reports and some financial processes that I think did not encompass the scope we had set for our program. I somehow blamed myself for what happened because I'm the one in-charge of the documentations and I decided on what title to give it. Murag ako nagbuot-buot sa title. Sakit jud ako heart ato ai! The day after that day, Janx and I chatted. He kept on saying his own opinions about what happened. Nagyawyaw jud siya. I also told him how i felt about it. I said that they don't deserve that verdict and i should take the blame. I added that I didn't exerted as much effort as they did. He told me that I shouldn't judge him like that because he never blamed me nor nicoy. It was all our fault. Kung baga daw, "it all takes two to tango". But i still can't help blaming myself. Stupid, noh? Call me stupid. You may never understand how i felt that time. He assured me that this was just God's test to see how far our faith in Him will take us and that I was just tempted by the devil. That's when I realized he's right. I shouldn't give up on this. I should never doubt God. That's what I'll do. Fight! Aja! We'll be able to do this by our team work and God's grace...Please pray for us na lng, guyz!

..the Holy Week...

2008-03-22T03:56:00.000-07:00

yesterday (March 21, 2008), we had the Station of the Cross at the Shrine of the Infant Jesus of Prague.

--> on the way to Shrine
gamay ra kaayo ang mga naga-biyahe na jeep ug taxi. may na lang nakasakay mi. we have even been jammed by the Station of the Cross procession. hapit na gani magsugat ang sa San Pedro church ug sa Assumption Church. so, while patiently waiting, the taxi driver chatted with my mama. a large number of people have joined the procession. so they exclaimed that Christians were really innumerable compared to other religions. i even admit to that silently. but what's more striking was that many Christians are still faithful to Jesus. great, isn't it? Manong
Driver said that in his ten years of driving, it is only this year's holy week that he didn't stay at home. he needs to work because of money. the reason? poverty. crisis. practicality. they then talked about Pres. GMA. because of what she did daw, corrupting the country's money, the poor became poorer while the rich became richer. yes, the government has its flaws. but we shouldn't blame the misery we are facing solely on them. even if Pres. GMA steps out of her position, will there be change? i really hope so. i still don't have a definite stand on this. so i leave this 'political' topic hanging. after few minutes, we finally arrived.

--> on foot from the 1st to the 14th station
while we were moving from one station to another, i observed there had been quite a number of beggars along the way. there were also many vendors selling various things like necklaces, toys, abaca knitted fans, cowboy hats, steel bracelets, and others. there were even those who tried to entice kids with toys and balloons. what shocking temptations they have been! but seeing those beggars, some are handicapped, really struck my heart. seeing their kids sitting beside them, hungrily eating their little, packed "baon" made me teary-eyed. we gave them pennies. for me, it should have been better if we gave them some food. i reflected. i was just so thankful i have a better life than them and because, i live more comfortably, i feel it's my responsibility to share what i have with them, even just a single penny. but i really hoped i could do more. maybe someday, when i have already settled my responsibilities to my family. i also hoped that those rich people out there will have a heart to reach out to them. they should share their wealth as Jesus had commanded.
hiking towards the last station had been really tiring. we really had a long walk. but i really thwarted from complaining. that little sacrifice was really not even half of the sacrifice Jesus has made for all of us. so i dare not grumble walking under the raging heat of the sun and meeting many people along the way.

--> arriving at the Shrine
when we finished the Station of the Cross, we stayed at the Shrine's chapel. many people were praying there. i wondered what they are praying. i remembered what our philo teacher said. that religion is the opium of the society. so i asked are these people coming here just because they find that coming to God is their only chance to solve their problems. that He becomes their last resort when there's no escape out. i hope not. but the truth is most of us really sees Him as such. even i, myself, is not exempted. but that was before. after the retreat we have last year, i learned to always offer everything up to Him - happiness and sadness, achievements and failures, satisfaction and frustration, everything. in every step i take, i always include Him. He's no longer my last resort but my first priority.

I hope you all had a blessed Holy Week...Happy Easter, guyz and galz! God bless you and your family!

partly happy for the result of the thesis defense..

2008-03-03T21:34:00.000-08:00

we had our thesis defense last night around 6:30 i guess. we are supposed to have it by 5:30 but the panelists took quite a long time in having a caucus for the previous team so we started an hour later.

while waiting, my team mates and I played hangaroo with Jedd and tita. we really made use of the pc in the defense room. haha. we had fun. in fairness, it eased away our anxiety temporarily.

then, the defense started. we really tried our best to defend our thesis which is about developing an ajax-based web site having VoIP capabilities. i noticed that the panelists seem exhausted and sleepy already. the chair of the panelists even closed his eyes for a while. i indeed pity them. imagine they were listening for thesis defenses since morning. who wouldn't be tired? well, it's life. it's their job. in the end, the thesis went well. we were advised to find a better title for our thesis, the one which is best suited for the content and a little revisions. it has been quite a relief indeed. nicoy, janx, and I really had big smiles on our faces after hearing the verdict. one last defense to go. yipee!

however, i am not fully happy yesterday because my friends got rejected and they have to find a new topic. what's worse they are only given a week to find another one and they are going to defend it next week monday. i just think the responsibility is too heavy for them. next week is also the defense week for another major subject, SAD and i really worry for them. the best i can do is to help them find a topic. wish i can do something more for them. that would be encouraging them, offering my shoulder for them to lean on, and of course, my prayers. Hope they won't lose hope. Hope they would be strong. God will not give us challenges and trials that we can't overcome. Anyone reading this, I hope you pray for us, CS3/IT3, for the upcoming SAD defense we are going to have. thank you! God bless everyone!

PS: can you give us some ideas for a thesis topic? we really need some opinions badly. uhmmm. anything interesting and feasible that is related to computer studies will do. your ideas will be highly appreciated. tnx! =)

am i really an alien?

2008-02-06T23:20:00.000-08:00

This morning we had a discussion about "Alienated Labor" in our Philosophy class. Basically, what it wanted to tell us that when we don't feel at home with what we are doing, then that thing we are doing is alien from us. And that doesn't exempt you from being an alien towards your labor or work. Honestly, I am an "alien" with what i am pursuing in college. Everything that Sir Glen, our Philo teacher, had talked about really struck my ego. I had been awaken from a lie I kept denying from myself. I always encouraged myself that I would really like Computer Science but the fact is no matter how much I try to like and love it, it would really be impossible. My heart doesn't belong in it. I realized that the strife and effort I've been exerting on it is meaningless. It's just for the purpose of passing. I don't really enjoy programming like my classmates do. It shouldn't be that way. I should do these things because i love it and not just for the sole reason of surviving this course. However, it didn't discourage me much. It just disturbed me much. I guessed I was challenged to find more meaning in what I am doing. I kinda believe that when you really try hard to like it and be determined that in the end, you'll finally love it, then you won't be alienated from it. But the most striking lesson it gave me was to really ponder first before making any critical decisions in life. And I asked myself "Do I have to make a decision now? Should I pursue it or not?". I don't know what to do. Whatever decision I would be making would surely affect the people around me especially my parents. Still confused. Well, you guys out there, think hard first before making choices in life. As for me, i just hope i can find that certain meaning. and i hope it would be soon before it's too late.
Sino bang gustong maging alien? ikaw, gusto mo ba?

...connect the disconnected...

2008-01-29T19:39:00.000-08:00

...a continuation of my previous post, "before the retreat"

Hi guyz! 48 yrs kaayo ang susunod na kabanata noh? cenxa na! mejo busy man gud lately. Anyweiz, here it is.
The retreat we had ten days ago was the best retreat i had since my first year (walang char-charan to ha..ehehe..). We stayed at the Religious of Notre Dame Missions situated at Catalunan Grande. The way there was so narrow that we were kind of worried that the bus won't be able to pass. Fortunately, hassler na si Manong Driver so we arrived safely. To introduce us to the place, Sister Matthew, the head sister, told us that the place was where soon-to-be-annointed-sisters are staying, waiting for their final vow. It's so quiet which would really put us in a solemn and reflective disposition.
The place was really great. We were given the "bestest" (mag-imbento ba ng word..haha..) of the best accomodations. It feels like we're in a first-class hotel or we're like housemates sa bahay ni kuya. Overwhelming talaga! The sisters were really kind and hospitable and to think they came from foreign countries like Canada and India, it's just so amazing that they welcomed us so warmly. They gave us the things we need from toiletries to bedroom comforters. What's more exciting was that we were given our own rooms. And we have our own keys. I was so overjoyed. It was my first time kasi to have my own foom. I always share a room with my parents and my sister. A change! Even just for two days, diba? Bongga din sila! They have personal computers. But of course, we're restrained from using it. Surely because our main purpose there is to forget reality for a while and reflect. They also have a telephone but if we are to make a call, we have to write down the number we called. Actually when we browsed their phonebook, many international calls were recorded. Amazing! Bonnga jud! What's more? They've got a cable tv and also a dvd player. It's actually my first time to be in such retreat house. And the thing i really loved most was the foods. They were really incredibly delicious and healthy. hmmm..ang daming food, sari-saring Filipino foods! Cge lang kami kain! hmmm..yummy! We were always so full. ehehe..anyways, so much about foods.
At around 8 pm on the first day, we started our night session. It was our first session and it had been a bit disturbing. We were questioned about our connection with our God in this point of our lives. It somehow made me reflect. My connection with Him was getting weaker each day in a way that i tend to give more time to my studies than Him. Sometimes, I'm afraid I'm totally losing the connection. However, it doesn't mean that i've completely forgotten Him. We were asked to make any computer-related symbols to represent our connection with Him. I molded a telephone out of clay to symbolize VoIP technology. Like VoIP technology which allows users to make a call to somebody via internet anytime, anywhere as long as he/she have internet connection, God also does make Himself availabe anytime and anywhere for us. He's always there to listen. It's just that sometimes we tend to disconnect from the internet or in same manner, to Him because of certain obstacles. That's basically what happened on the first day. We finished around 11 pm. And it's time to bond with my friends! We planned to join the boys from the other cottage but we were only allowed until 11:30. So, we decided to just stay put in our little hauz. I, Nanai, Tetle, Susan, Karla, Paul, and Jedd gathered in the living room and played "truth or dare". We kept on laughing our hearts out until Sir Ryan, one of the facilitators, reprimanded us. He said "Ganiha pa mo ba. Late na baya. Pangatulog na mo" . However, it didn't stop us. We continued chatting but with lower voices. In "fairview", many secrets were revealed. I was even shocked with one of the revelations of my friend. Those revelations somehow changed my perspectives about them..in a good way. Though i'm a bit sleepy that time, i still managed to stay awake to hear their stories. They somehow unconsciously taught me lessons like love, making the right decisions, and many others. Thus, the bonding became much stronger and i came to know them much deeper. It had been a great night. We slept around 2 am.
The next day. I woke up first. They were still sleeping sweetly and i can't afford to wake them up. So, i decided to stroll around the place. It was more beautiful than last night. The scenery was so relaxing. The scent of fresh air. The birds lovingly singing. The trees swaying gently. Really nice feeling! I went to the labyrinth, it's a circular puzzle. Last night, we ran around the circle until we reached the center. Little did we know that it's sacred until Sir Peterson told us. So, I went back there. But that moment, I didn't run (of course!). It was like I'm having my "moment". ehehe. you know the feeling when you're all alone by yourself and the place is so quiet. basta kato! After I had my "moment", we ate our breakfast (a good one indeed!) then continued our sessions. We've watched a movie, "You've Got Mail". It was about two people finding each other through chat. It was telling us about our relationships with others and not just with our God. Same thing. Because of being too busy with our own lives, we tend not to notice other people around us, the people who cared for us. In the end, the whole retreat made me realize to treasure relationships, our connections, with others and God. We shouldn't take for granted their love and affection because it's what makes our busy life meaningful and livelier. Around quarter to 5, niabot na jud amo sundo. It's time to go home. But we'd like to stay. It's impossible siyempre! Surely, we'll miss the place. We are hoping to have our 4th year retreat back there. Taas na kaayo ako gisulat noh? Na-feel ninyo? ahaha. so, i'll end it up here. God bless every1!

....before our retreat

2008-01-20T19:18:00.000-08:00

i'm so excited 'coz we will be having our retreat later this afternoon and this is a bit different since it will be overnight! w0Opee!!! can't wait to end the class to go home and prepare my stuff..wahaha...kabalo mo grabe jud ako pag-amping sa ako kaugalingon before ni nga day bah! gi-sore eyes man gud si mama then natakdan na si ante. considering that this is a very contagious disease, i'm afraid that i would also be infected. so, i had these weird ways of pag-amping. I always carry with me my alcohol. Everytime my mother hands me something, i immediately wash my hands with alcohol and so with the thing. La man pud xa nanluod. Good thing she understands that i don't want to have it 'coz i'm having my retreat today. I always wear my eyeglasses at home though i'm not used to it. i have to if i really don't want to have it. there's more weird preventive measures. nagtabon kog panapton sa ako ulo. ahaha. mura kog tigulang na mamalengke, with eyeglasses pa jud. na! kita ang katag! ahaha. they even told me i was crazy. i don't care though. ehehe..bahala na murag tanga basta di lang matakdan. i also bought eye-mo. and everytime i talk to my mom and aunt, i just don't stare at them. instead, i close my eyes. ahaha. stupid, noh? ahaha..may pagka-OA na ko, noh? ehehe..PRANING LANG JUD SIGURO KO! ana pa ko, "wokie lang matakdan pero paghuman na sa retreat! ahaha..

sa tinuod lang, naluoy ko kina mama. di lalim magka-sore eyes ui! hapdos daw. effort! ako ante, luoy pud. she had to study her lessons for their upcoming exam. but since she was infected, she's not able to read her notes. dili nila mabuka ila mata ug tarong. huhu. i pray for their fast recovery. can you help me pray for them? thnx guyz! hantod diri na lng. i need to study pa for our quiz in cisco. wish me luck! ehehe...cge! auau mong tanan!

tHe AwArD

2007-12-28T05:15:00.000-08:00

I have here my college life story. It’s only a preview though. It’s quite long. Just bear with me. Well, it’s up to you if you’d read this.

Ateneo – the most famous university in Davao I guess. I never really dreamt of studying here in the first place for one single reason – I hate the students. I heard they are “bitches”. They are sosyal, mata-pobre, and maarte type of studs. But my parents really wanted me to study here. And so I did since I also got a slot in the scholarship grants given by the school. Believe me that news arrived when I was about to enroll myself at Brokenshire. I should have been taking up Nursing by now. Anyway, moving on, I’m a bit petrified of those monster-wearing-uniform people. But my fighting spirit weighs more than my consciousness.

First day of class started. I was heading towards the covered court for the students’ orientation. I looked for my section 1Z. I found it. However, I was surprised to see that there were so few of us and I’m the “only” girl. I gulped. I’m a bit “allergic” to boys pa naman (laughs). I sat at the back silently observing my classmates. Two boys seated approached me and introduced themselves. They were Chino and Jedd. In fairness, they were friendly. That made me glad. We became friends or rather acquaintances. I think it would be more appropriate. A mass was held a short while after. Then, we went to our respective rooms to know our classmates, I guess. We had our ates and kuyas with us. I mean the up-class assigned to introduce the freshies to the school and other stuff about it.

I thought 1Z and Z1 were just the same and I’ve seen my highschool classmate and he told me that they really are. So, I transferred to their classroom. But I was not on the student’s list. Hahaay! How stupid of me! (laughs) I went back of course. When I opened the door, woah! I never expected a lot of guys and gals inside. There were so many of us numbering to about 20-30 I guess. And thank goodness there were girls!

While the two ates were telling something about the school, I can’t help but silently looked around. They were not what I expected them to be. The gals were just so simple, no make-ups and much jewelries. Well, the guys were just fine and harmless. At least, the atmosphere made me feel at ease. I even participated with the activities. And I won in one of the games. That was really unexpected! (laughs) Well, it was about knowing each and everyone inside the room and right after, the winners will tell their answers in front of the class and be rewarded. What’s funny was that every time I answer the “who” questions, I just pin pointed at someone and say kanang naka-red o or kanang naka-orange”. Tanga kayo ko ug nawong. (lol) It had been hard for me to remember their names though I remembered one. I remembered Ryu. And I remembered they teased me. Well, I recalled his name since I was seated beside him during the mass and we’ve introduced ourselves to each other. That’s all. (laughs) That’s some of the unforgettable things I had during my first day at Ateneo. Not what I expected it to be. I had really thought I’d just silently sit aside feeling out of place.

A year passed. And I’d gain many friends in a short period of time. First with Sugar and Din-Din and then, with Paul, Jedd, Neng, Kenneth, Jay-R, Prem, Sonito, Tracy, JekJek, Robert, and Ryu. The bonding grew stronger each day. Then, section Y1 was mixed with us. Cathy, Pidz, Jethro, Carl, and Jeev became part of the barkada. We also befriended the Chinese community (Earl, Steven, Mark, Chino), Shaddai, Nicole, Ressee, Carlo P., and Rey-An. College life became more fun and exciting with our FYCF adviser, Sir Efren Sabado. He’s the best teacher ever. Not too serious. Funny but so sensible. We’ve learned so much from him. One word of wisdom I got from him was “it’s your decision to be happy”. That’s when I realized that eventhough Computer Science wasn’t my type of career, I shouldn’t be dismayed with it. There’s nothing I can do but continue what I started. Tutal I got my friends with me who always make me happy.

Speaking of ComSci, it had been tough that some of my friends quitted. I was really sad that time especially that my bestfriend, Prem, shifted to Psychology. Felt like I’ve became weaker and less-determined. However, as what they said, “kung may nawala, merong papalit na mas maganda”. Well, meron nga. Not better than the 1Z pipz but not also worse. What I meant to say was that they each had different impact on my life. And so, I gain friends in Tetle, Carmel (whom I later called Nanay), Arian, Kakai, Prenzy, Jaye, Alex, Jan Paul, Bryan, Riki, and Richard. I’ve become much closer to Paul and other 1Z pipz still left surviving. I’ve also bonded with Hyangelo, Marvince, Aton, Williever, and Denmar.

As I’m about to end this “story-telling” (though it’s just an overview of my college life), I just want to say that I am so glad to belong here, to study here. If I could have studied at Brokenshire, I wouldn’t have met these significant people who had changed my life in one way or another. For one, I gained a social life. I admit back in H.S., I was really this serious-looking nerd living in her own world with just one goal – to achieve many awards. I believe I didn’t enjoy my life back then and I’m so sorry myself. Back to what I was just saying, they really taught me to get a life, to live a life. Second, I was truer to myself and to others. I didn’t mean I was so pretentious back in highschool. I was just “so controlled” by the rules at school. I was really so careful with my actions because I was this “good student” at school trying real hard to live up to my title as you-know-na. I’m not saying I’m a rebellious student now. I am still a “good student” but in a good way. Now, I’m more comfortable with what I look and how I act and more “kalog” (most probably) when relating to my friends. Now, I’m not so stiff and prim and proper as before. Third, they made me live life to the fullest. Life is really tough at times but we are tougher. Fourth, they taught me the value of tinabangay. Believe me this is our favorite word. We believe that we can survive CS if we will help each other not just mentally but if possible also financially. Lastly, they made me realize what FRIENDSHIP really means. It’s real and not pretentions and taking advantage. It’s when you are all partners in crime. Sabay sa mga kabuang. It’s knowing when to have fun and when to get serious. It’s all for one and one for all. You know what I mean, guyz. It’s tinabangay no matter what happens, against all odds. It’s sharing whatever you got labi na pagkaun. Hmmm..lami! It’s being brothers and sisters to one another. It’s not just listening to one’s problems but it’s also trying every means to cheer him/her up. It’s accepting each other. Understanding. Caring. Loving. Being real friends.

Thank you guyz for the important lessons, for showing me how beautiful life is. Char! Murag mamatay nako, noh? Hehe. We’re already third year. And the end is so near. Now, the scary feeling comes back again. Not scared with the students of course. I loved them now. (I’ve learned it’s wrong to stereotype people.) But I’m scared of the parting. For now, I just have to enjoy every minute with you. Because for me, this means hundred times more better than achieving awards.