Kick-Out!! Wrestling

Monday Night Raw - April 8, 2013

noreply@blogger.com (Razor) — Tue, 09 Apr 2013 20:57:00 +0000

Doesn't WWE sometimes put the Raw after WrestleMania on the Mania DVD? I really hope they do that this year.

An explosive Raw kicked off with new WWE Champ, John Cena addressing his adoring fans in East Rutherford, NJ. Cena really set the tone for the night, basically telling them, "I know you don't like me and sometimes I don't like you, but let's have fun tonight." Cena reveled in the boos and despite being worried about where Cena would go from his Mania win, he definitely seemed rejuvenated last night. "How about a little dance? Maybe a heel turn?" Brilliant.

And though he wound up merely being a red herring for another story, I loved the addition of Mark Henry to the segment. "You got them laughing, I ain't laughing!" Booker T set up our main event, Henry vs. Cena in a non-title match, with a future shot guaranteed to Henry if he could win. I kinda hate that premise, especially when a bad guy is in the role of challenger, but a minor gripe.

In-ring action kicked off with a half-rematch from Mania, Daniel Bryan vs. Big E. Langston and I am officially a Big E fan. There's nothing particularly new coming from Langston, it's not like he's the first big ass-kicker in WWE, but something about the way he moves and hits his moves makes me really dig him. It might actually be a smidge over-the-top, but being in there with The Dazzler made it work. Big E gets an impressive win for his Raw debut after finishing Bryan off with the Big Ending.

Wade Barrett vs. The Miz was a WrestleMania pre-show rematch (how dare they give it that away, I paid a hard earned $0 for that!) and wound up being one of, if not the, best match that either guy has had in a WWE ring. Miz has had some fun over-the-top brawls, he was on his way to becoming the master of the falls count anywhere match, but last night was the first time in awhile that Miz has had a fantastic straight-up wrasslin' match. Barrett's neckbreaker on the apron was particularly gross, but the whole match was hard-hitting, fun and the crowd was into it, what more do you need? Oh how about a title change for good measure?

I know some people were annoyed by Miz dropping the belt right after winning it, but I didn't see the harm. Barrett's not gonna break the Honky Tonk Man's record, so an interrupted reign doesn't hurt him and a little bit of unpredictability goes a long way.

So after decisively defeating Jack Swagger at WrestleMania, Alberto Del Rio had to face him again, this time in a 2-on-1 handicap match with Zeb Colter added to the mix. This was not nearly the clinic they put on at Mania, very much an hour 1 Raw main event, but the purpose of this wasn't to be an jaw-dropping wrestling match, it was a means to an end.

After being locked in the Patriot Act for an extended amount of time, Del Rio managed to escape and lock with the Cross Armbreaker for the win, but the damage was done and Dolph Ziggler struck.

I just re-watched the segment, I couldn't tell you the last time I heard a crowd EXPLODE like they did for Ziggler heading to the ring. They were already begging for it, so by the time "I'M HERE TO SHOW THE WORLD!" hit, they were practically orgasmic. The match itself was one of the better mini-matches in the history of the Money in the Bank concept, I still had some doubt that Ziggler would win the thing, but of course he did. Dolph Ziggler is finally, FINALLY, World Heavyweight Champion, he deserved a moment like this and here's to long and well-deserved reign.

I was a bit surprised The Undertaker appeared on Raw, but it got me a bit more hopeful that Taker would be sticking around. As I said in my Mania review, he looked like he was ready to get back into the ring more frequently and The Shield interrupting his moment seemed to confirm that. Hell No rushing to the ring to make the save was super fun and the crowd loved it, but how couldn't you with the awesome image of Daniel Bryan standing between Taker and Kane? The Shield vs. The Dazzlers of Destruction seems like a natural fit for Extreme Rules and a needed evolution for The Shield, so I really hope that's the direction we're going. Taker working some tag matches here and there, maybe SummerSlam and then the Mania build would get no complaints from me.

Zack Ryder, Santino & R-Truth vs. 3MB... next!

Although Ryder, Santino and R-Truth would make for a fun 3-Count reboot.

Sheamus & Randy Orton were arguing over who got to fight the Big Show after their WrestleMania implosion, WWE made this seem like a bigger deal than it was, and the NJ crowd was having none of it. The two had a match to determine who got the "privilege" to get in the ring with the World's Largest Athlete, but they were met with a series of chants that had absolutely nothing to do with the match: "RANDY SAVAGE!" "MIKE CHIODA!" "COTTON CANDY!"

I felt bad for Sheamus, they clearly had no interest in even giving the match a chance, but it's not like two guys in creative limbo were going to put on a barn-burner with the story of "who's gonna wrestle Big Show?" I was a bit torn on the whole thing, the "WE ARE AWESOME!" chant was particularly bad since once you say you're awesome, you kinda stop being awesome (unless you're The Miz), but at the same time, WWE gave them something they didn't want to see and they gave them grief for it. At the end of the day, they paid to be there, they can chant whatever the hell they want. I wish more crowds had this kind of fun.

Fandango vs. Kofi Kingston barely got started before Chris Jericho interfered and kicked Fandango's ass, but forget about the match, let's talk about the new sensation that's sweeping the nation: Fandangoing!

I've been watching wrestling for close to 30 years at this point and I can honestly say I've never seen a crowd hum a guy's theme song throughout the match. I've been skeptical about Fandango, but this needs to become a thing; if you're going to Raw next week, sing and dance along! Don't be afraid to look stupid, don't be too cool, have fun.

Tons of Funk & The Funkadactyls vs. Rhodes Scholars & The Bella Twins got bumped from WrestleMania, which is a shame for the performers involved, but getting to go in front of this crowd, not having to follow something like Punk/Taker or HHH/Brock and having the benefit of indoor arena acoustics, it turned out to be a pretty fun match last night. They still were probably rushed through since the show was running long, but I'm glad they got to do their thing.

Since the show was running long, John Cena vs. Mark Henry never really got started before Cena won by count-out. Obviously they weren't going to let this Raw end on a count-out in front of this crowd, so they were setting up something... enter Ryback. Ryback roughed up Henry a bit, but his true target was the WWE Champion and Raw came to an end with Ryback Shell Shocking John Cena and posing over his body with the WWE Title held high.

Cena vs. Ryback is fine, they missed the boat on Ryback being the next big good guy, so let him be a villain for awhile. Some folks are saying it wasn't a turn, just Ryback being Ryback, which is possible, but the announcers seemed to treat it like one. A little uncertainty might be best for Ryback though, he doesn't need to be tied down by the concept of good guy or bad guy, his whole shtick is "FEED. ME. MORE." so his opponent's disposition should be irrelevant.

Ryback started losing when he started teaming up with people, maybe he becomes this Stone Cold-esque loner who fights any and everyone?

This Raw was spectacular. I don't think we're in for a drastic change in direction or anything, but with some new faces for Cena to work with, Daniel Bryan hanging with Taker & Kane and Fandangoing, I'm excited for the post-Mania run. I'll have more thoughts on the raucous crowd later in the week, but if you want more Raws like this, buy a ticket and make some damn noise.

Brock Swift

noreply@blogger.com (Razor) — Tue, 09 Apr 2013 11:08:00 +0000

Best thing you'll see all day:

via reddit.

WWE WrestleMania 29

noreply@blogger.com (Razor) — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 22:51:00 +0000

This was an interesting year, it could perhaps even be described as experimental. The set was absolutely beautiful, MetLife Stadium looked packed to the gills, but WWE didn't treat it like an over-the-top spectacle, it was very much all business last night. Aside from a very brief an inoffensive performance from ~~Puff Daddy~~ ~~P. Diddy~~ ~~Diddy~~ Sean "Diddy" Combs, WWE played it straight, which I don't recall ever happening at WrestleMania. There were no guest ring announcers, no backstage skits, no "DAMN!" moment, no racist Mamasaurus time-killer, John Cena didn't even do a special entrance, this was a wrestling show. That doesn't automatically mean it was good though.

The Shield vs. Randy Orton, Sheamus & Big Show was a great choice for the opener and the first time since 26 the show didn't open with the World Heavyweight Title match. I'm still not sure what the point of The Shield is since they've split off from CM Punk (what "injustice" are they currently fighting?), but getting a win like this at WrestleMania is really big for these guys. It didn't even matter that the match was essentially the same one we've seen them in every time they've wrestled, it was still a defining moment, they won at WrestleMania. I'm not sure where this leaves Orton and Sheamus, two guys in desperate need of something, anything to stay relevant, but at least Big Show got to reaffirm the fact that he's a bad guy and shouldn't have bothered wasting his time fighting this battle.
Predictions: 1 for 1

Mark Henry vs. Ryback wasn't the match I was hoping these two would have, but there was some fun to be had, like Henry crushing Ryback after a failed Shell Shock and pulling out the biggest surprise win of the night. Naturally, Ryback got his revenge after the match and hit the Shell Shock no problem, but the record book will forever say Henry: 1, Ryback: 0. That plays to Henry's character well too, he's tough, he's dangerous, but he also doesn't really care about proving anything when he doesn't have to. Not the slobberknocker I was expecting, but could've been worse.
Predictions: 1 for 2

Hell No vs. Dolph Ziggler & Big E Langston was just fantastic, best Tag Title match at WrestleMania since "TLC" became a thing. At WrestleMania, there are matches and there are MATCHES; this was one of the better matches in recent WrestleMania history, a true undercard classic in an era where anything below the top 4 matches on the show is usually forgettable. And it wasn't all thanks to Bryan and Ziggler; Langston looked like a beast in there and ol' Kane showed why he can still a reliable hand after all these years. The crowd was super into it (okay, that was mainly thanks to Bryan and Ziggler), the action was fast-paced and most importantly, it was just a really fun match. This could've easily been a throwaway match on Raw, but just a little buildup and a grand stage made for something surprisingly special. You need to see this one, not a second of the 7 minutes is wasted here.
Predictions: 2 for 3

Fandango vs. Chris Jericho, on the other hand, was underwhelming. I had high hopes for this one, thought it was one of the best-built matches on the card with its simple story and colorful characters, but it just didn't do it for me. Fandango didn't play up the gimmick enough, but also didn't look serious enough to be a formidable opponent for Jericho at WrestleMania and if you can't have a good match with Chris Jericho at WrestleMania, it sure as hell isn't Jericho's fault.

I didn't mind the surprise ending, didn't mind that Fandango won, but he just didn't look like he belonged in there. All the hype, all the delays, and this is what Fandango brought to the WrestleMania stage? It wasn't like he was Kizarny or anything, but to get to have your much-hyped debut at WrestleMania and to turn in this performance against one of the greatest in-ring performers of all-time? Meh.

To be fair, a lot of folks seemed to really dig it, so maybe I'm the crazy one, but it just didn't do it for me at all. And it was probably the match I was most excited for behind Punk/Taker.
Predictions: 2 for 4

Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger was a clinic though. I knew these two would gel, so I'm not surprised it was a really good match, but I have to admit I was bummed that Ziggler didn't cash-in. Was the perfect opportunity to do it, he could be the first guy to do it at Mania, this match was short enough that Del Rio could've put up a believable fight and it would've been a really cool moment. Sadly, it was not to be, but luckily Del Rio and Swagger made up for it that was helped by the side-characters at ringside. I don't think the Zeb Colter shtick has much life in it after this story, but it was fun while it lasted and very well may have saved Swagger's career... or sank it, not sure yet.
Predictions: 3 for 5

CM Punk vs. The Undertaker... wow. Okay, before we get into the match, can we just admire this for a second?

image: WWE.com

That is why I watch wrestling.

I'm occasionally asked who is my favorite wrestler and I don't have a single answer. Depending on when you ask me, I may be feeling nostalgic for Hulk Hogan, who is the reason I got into wrestling. Maybe I'll say Shawn Michaels, whose matches have always been among my favorites of the last 20+ years. Maybe Stone Cold, who had a brief, but unmatched run at the top of WWE during the most fun era to watch (at least at the time). Maybe Chris Jericho, who is just wonderful.

But ya know what, after last night, I finally have an answer: The Undertaker is my favorite wrestler. Period. His mere presence does more for me as a viewer than most matches, his matches have transcended the idea of good and bad, it's now just a matter of how legendary they will be and The Streak is the coolest accolade in wrestling history. I'll do you one better: if The Undertaker isn't your favorite wrestler, you're wrong!

Taker and Punk absolutely killed it last night. And I'll tell you what, for a "broken down old man," Taker looked like he was ready to start doing this every week again. Obviously that's not going to happen, nor should it, but Taker hasn't looked like this in years. Is that credit to Punk or the once-a-year schedule? Or is Taker just that badass? Whatever the reason, the only bad thing about Taker at this point is there's no way to make anything in wrestling seem as special or even remotely as important. It's not his fault, he's not intentionally overshadowing anyone, but Taker is a god and it's tough to be a mortal when he descends (well, ascends in his case) to our realm.

The sit-up in the Anaconda Vice... THE SIT-UP IN THE ANACONDA VICE! I CAN'T EVEN!

It's why it boggles my mind that WWE bothers with anything following The Undertaker at WrestleMania. I thought they learned their lesson with "the title has to go on last!" when Rock and Hogan stole the show at WM18, then they put Orton and HHH on after HBK and Taker at WM25. They learned their lesson at Mania 26, but forgot it again this year. WWE: stop putting matches on after The Undertaker, there's nothing the crowd will care about more, I guarantee it. It was one thing when he was wrestling Mark Henry at Mania 22 or Kane for the third time at 20, but if he's getting in there with a Shawn Michaels, Triple H or CM Punk, there's very little that can follow that.

And this match was impossible to follow, Punk and Taker unsurprisingly stole the show and more than made up for their forgettable encounters years ago when Taker was hurt and Punk was very, very new to the main event scene. Punk was no slouch either, managing to look like a believable threat to The Phenom without veering into the over-the-top territory of the last two years. Everything about this match was excellent and if you missed it, you need to see it right now.

The. Goddamn. Undertaker.

Predictions: 4 for 6

Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar, as mentioned, had a tough act to follow, but they got off to an excellent start... unfortunately they came to a screeching halt about five minutes in. Shades of their disappointing SummerSlam encounter were all over the place, luckily they managed to bounce back with an absolutely brutal finish, but it wasn't enough to call this one great. Good? Sure, which I worry is all we're gonna get from HHH these days.

Jason Mann brought up the excellent point that maybe the crowd just wasn't that into it because they're just not that into Triple H? HHH is the Bob Dylan of wrestling: he's been around forever, we all agree he's a legend, everyone says they like him, but play his record at a party and the crowd starts to thin a bit. "Oh yeah, I know I'm supposed to like this and all, but can't we just listen to Foghat?" It's not a knock on Triple H, I don't care that he won, it's not like Brock Lesnar needs help keeping his "heat," but the well has perhaps run dry. He had a great run, I'm fine with him wrestling here and there, but his days of being "the man" are long gone, if they were ever really here. There's absolutely no shame in a Triple H wrestling career, even 10% of a Triple H career, but he'll never be The Rolling Stones.
Predictions: 5 for 7

I'm not really sure what to make of The Rock vs. John Cena. It certainly wasn't as bad as pockets of the internet are making it out to be, but it wasn't good either. This match disappointed me last year and I expected them to crank it up this year, they didn't, so it failed to deliver, but let's not act like it was the wrestling equivalent of a late-term abortion.

I was not a fan of the crowd chanting "BORING!" early on. Sure, they were working chinlocks and headlocks, but I feel like that kind of impatience sets an ugly standard for the slow-burn wrestling match. Unfortunately, they never really picked up the pace until it was too late, they never really fought and then a clunky finisher exchange at the end just felt awkward, rather than epic.

There was fun to be had, the callback to last year with Rock getting an AA after trying the Five-Knuckle Shuffle was cute, Cena luring in with what cost him the match last year was cuter, but it never really had that "oh wow!" moment. Even after the match, the "passing the torch" moment didn't really have that special vibe, and not just because Cena's already been on top of WWE for eight years. Hogan had been champion for several years straight and was undoubtedly the biggest thing in when Andre "passed the torch," but it still felt like an exclamation point on Hulkamania, this felt like a question mark for the Cenation... what's next? More importantly, what's left?
Predictions: 6 for 8

You could tell Vince wanted to let the guys on the card sell WrestleMania this year, rather than celebrities and spectacle. Sure, The Rock is one of the biggest movie stars in the world, but he wasn't presented as a special attraction this year, he was just a part of the show. Brock Lesnar is one of the biggest athletes in the world, but he wasn't presented as "UFC Champion Brock Lesnar" like he was at Extreme Rules, he was just "Brock Lesnar: Jimmy John's enthusiast." This method of presentation perhaps didn't work as well as it could have - presenting a straight wrestling show for a die-hard wrestling crowd seemed like a good idea - but it wasn't a bad show. It was a weird one during a weird moment in the WWE canon, and much like Cena's 13th WWE/World Title reign, it left me asking "what's next?" And perhaps more concerning, "what's left?"

Top 29 Matches in WrestleMania History - #1

noreply@blogger.com (Razor) — Sun, 07 Apr 2013 17:02:00 +0000

1. Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant - WrestleMania III
Without this match, I probably wouldn't be writing this list. No, it's not a technical masterpiece or anything and Hogan's legacy has perhaps been a bit tarnished over the years, but at the end of the day, this match isn't just the most important in WrestleMania history, this is the most important match in the history of professional wrestling. When you say "WWE," Hulk Hogan bodyslamming the 500 pound Andre the Giant is the image etched in the memory of millions of wrestling fans around the globe.

I'm a fan of spectacle. I certainly love a good pure wrestling match, but there's something about the drama of wrestling that does more for me than any mat classic. It's why I've always gravitated toward WWE, because they do spectacle better than anyone. They take something that could be a disaster, like a less than proficient in-ring performer working with a broken-down, injury-plagued giant, and turn it into the most iconic image in wrestling history.

Top 29 Matches in WrestleMania History - #2

noreply@blogger.com (Razor) — Sun, 07 Apr 2013 15:08:00 +0000

2. Bret "Hitman" Hart vs. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin - WrestleMania XIII
If WrestleMania 14 was the birth of the Attitude Era, this match at WrestleMania 13 was the conception. The beauty of this match is that it's one of the few times that two wrestlers successfully turned within a match. Bret Hart walked in the good guy, Stone Cold walked in the bad guy, but when it was all said and done, Hart was the most hated heel in the industry and the fans fell in love with Steve Austin. This match is what it means to "tell a story" in the wrestling ring, it's not just two guys fake fighting, they're acting out things that would normally be told through scripted dialogue in a movie. The finale of this match, with Steve Austin's face covered in blood as he passes out from the pain of Bret Hart's sharpshooter, could be the most iconic image in the history of professional wrestling, with the exception of #1...

Top 29 Matches in WrestleMania History - #4 & #3

noreply@blogger.com (Razor) — Thu, 04 Apr 2013 16:00:00 +0000

4. Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker - WrestleMania XXVI
Which match was better, 25 or 26? Go watch them back-to-back, I don't know if one is "better" than the other it just felt like the final act of a play. Act 1 was their feud in the fall of 1997, Act 2 was WrestleMania 25 and the story came to its conclusion at WrestleMania 26. The matches just go together and the only reason I ranked 25 above it is because the ending wasn't quite as obvious since it didn't have the retirement stipulation. Although I considered putting it above 25 just for the jumping Tombstone!

3. Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker - WrestleMania XXV
HBK's tenth and final appearance on this list should show you why he's been dubbed "Mr. WrestleMania." Some might scoff at the idea of this match being so high, especially pushing out other classics on this list, but the bottom line is, the minute the three count was made in this match, it was one for the ages, it's the reason the term "instant classic" was coined.

Top 29 Matches in WrestleMania History - #5

noreply@blogger.com (Razor) — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 20:32:00 +0000

5. "Macho Man" Randy Savage vs. Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat - WrestleMania III
Many call this the greatest WrestleMania match of all-time, and if you're looking at it from a strictly wrestling perspective, they're probably right. In terms of pure wrestling, there hasn't been a single WrestleMania match to eclipse this classic from 1987. The story was simple, Randy Savage was the dastardly heel that crushed Ricky Steamboat's larynx months prior by dropping him throat first on a metal guardrail and Steamboat got his revenge, and the WWE Intercontinental Title, at WrestleMania 3. If you or someone you know doesn't understand the athleticism involved in professional wrestling, watch this match.

Top 29 Matches in WrestleMania History - #6

noreply@blogger.com (Razor) — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 16:00:00 +0000

6. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin vs. The Rock - WrestleMania X-7
I'll let you in on a little secret, WrestleMania 17 is the best WrestleMania, ever. The card is absolutely stacked, it featured this tremendous main event, wrestling's popularity was at its all-time high and WWE was sitting alone at the top of the mountain, having just bought their biggest competitor - Ted Turner's WCW.

This match is fantastic to watch simply to see the two biggest stars of the 90s beat the holy hell out of each other, but there's a lot more to it than that. Stone Cold vs. The Rock is symbolic to the end of the famous Attitude Era with Stone Cold's shocking heel turn at the conclusion of the match. Austin aligning himself with his longtime rival Vince McMahon, closed the book on the 90s pro wrestling craze and began a major shift in the WWE landscape.

Top 29 Matches in WrestleMania History - #7

noreply@blogger.com (Razor) — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 12:00:00 +0000

7. Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair - WrestleMania XXIV
Yet another Shawn Michaels appearance on this list, but this match isn't his story, it's the story of the greatest of all-time, "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair. Flair ended* his 36-year career at last year's WrestleMania in one of those moments that when you watched it, you knew you were witnessing history. One could argue that it's been devalued in recent years with Flair returning to the ring in TNA, but c'mon, it's the Naitch, he'll never retire! You know it's only a matter of time before he gets back in a WWE ring.

Top 29 Matches in WrestleMania History - #8

noreply@blogger.com (Razor) — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 08:00:00 +0000

8. The Rock vs. Hulk Hogan - WrestleMania XVIII
"Icon vs. Icon" is all you really need to say to describe this unforgettable encounter. After a nine year absence from WWE, Hulk Hogan returned to battle the man who some would say replaced him as the most recognizable wrestler in the world. For years in WCW, Hogan was accused of being washed up and no longer capable of putting on a good match (depending on who you ask, some will tell you he was never capable), but those critics were silenced with this match. 70,000 screaming fans in the Toronto SkyDome welcomed Hogan back to WWE with a thunderous ovation that never seemed to quiet down during the actual match. Hogan and The Rock went out and not only exceeded expectations, they made history.

Top 29 Matches in WrestleMania History - #9

noreply@blogger.com (Razor) — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 04:00:00 +0000

And we're back... updates throughout the day to get us back on track.

9. Bret "Hitman" Hart vs. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper - WrestleMania VIII
After winning his first and only major singles title in WWE, Roddy Piper put the Intercontinental Championship on the line against the former champion, Bret Hart. Piper had been wrestling for almost 25 years at that point, but he put on arguably the greatest match of his career at WrestleMania 8. Bret Hart recaptured the IC Title and went onto become WWE Champion less than a year later, ascending to the upper echelon of professional wrestling, I like to think this match had a lot to do with that.

WWE Monday Night Raw - April 1, 2013

noreply@blogger.com (Razor) — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 20:14:00 +0000

Apologies for my lateness with the WrestleMania list, I was out of town all weekend, things will get back on track after I talk about last night's Raw.

John Cena's opening promo was solid, best from Cena in a long time considering his devolution over the last couple years, but it did go on a bit long. The "boring" chants were uncool though, wrestling fans can be dickheads. I liked Cena's bit about not replacing The Rock's WWE Title, instead using it as a symbol that he's the better man. Still lots of heel turn seeds being planted but I sincerely doubt WWE will pull the trigger.

3MB vs. Big Show, Randy Orton & Sheamus was as useless as any 3MB match is. If Ryback can beat these guys by himself without breaking a sweat, why do I care when they're in the ring with three former World Champions? And why was it more of a struggle for them? Obviously some wrestling logic involved here, but just do the bit with The Shield and cut out the middleman.

What do you think about this match at Mania though? Something's gotta give, right? The Shield can't just keep beating Orton, Sheamus and random third guy, but they can't really lose either, can they? The Shield loses, okay, so what? They still have no real motivation other than annoying Orton & Sheamus, so my guess is Orton turns and keeps their momentum going, but I hope they don't saddle the group with his dead weight either.

Jack Swagger & Zeb Colter saying our crime rate has "exploded," continues to be an accurate portrayal of the Tea Party: wrong. Crime is down in the US for the fifth year in a row. Yeah! Statistics, bitch!

Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler is not exactly a rare match these days, but I'm not gonna complain. Hey, if you're gonna overdo it, at least overdo it well. And hey, did Bryan bust out the Tarantula in this match? Awesome, I miss that move... and Tajiri for that matter. Match was great, got plenty of time, both guys looked awesome as always, but fell victim to the ol' "Ring Around the Big Red Machine" trick. Bryan totally kicked out of that pin though.

Big E kicking after the match was cool though, the hot DC crowd's "OOOHHH!" when he simply ripped Kane's hand from his throat totally sold it and gave this Mania match some much-needed hype.

"The Undertaker eviscerates CM Punk" was advertised for later in the show... I know Punk has worked hurt before, but that might have an effect on their match Sunday.

If you wear a camouflage vest indoors, you might be a Heartbreak Kid... welcome back, Shawn Michaels! Shawn was here to do his annual "here's what I think about this match that's going to happen at WrestleMania" shtick, but he could come out and dance like an idiot for 10 minutes and I'd still watch, I miss HBK. Shawn started expressing some doubts about HHH's chances, which naturally brought out The Game. Hopefully Triple H gave Shawn some haircut advice while they were hanging out too.

I did like Shawn's point that his career-threatening match with The Undertaker wasn't the same as Triple H's match with Lesnar because Brock doesn't respect HHH, it just keeps up the idea that Lesnar is far too dangerous to allow in a wrestling ring. But Shawn did say he'd be in HHH's corner at Mania, but Paul Heyman & Brock Lesnar give no fuck. Heyman verbally annihilated HHH here, mocking the whole "tough guy" act while reminding everyone that his client gets paid to fight. "You should've walked away like Shawn Michaels... but now you won't be able to."

Best mic worker in the industry, bar none.

Wade Barrett vs. Zack Ryder was a match that happened.

As was Mark Henry vs. Santino Marella, Henry flattened Santino, because that's what he do. Ryback stormed the ring after the match, seeking revenge for Henry dropping a weight on his throat on Smackdown, so he picked up Santino and threw him at the World's Strongest Man, Fastball Special style. Hey, there is a no contact rule.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Zeb Colter continued the right-wing accuracy: a lot of big, contentious talking, then using a weapon as a big penis extension. Colter and Swagger beat on Del Rio a bit with Ricardo's crutches after a disqualification, and damn his back was gross. So, much like the American left-wing, Del Rio fell for the right's really obvious trap.

The Rock was out next to respond to Cena's comments from two hours earlier and do his usual Rocky thing, joking about President Barack and President The Rock (they were in DC). Please, like Americans are going to vote for a half black guy. Cena definitely won this week's war of words though, Rock totally went through the motions... for the final show before WrestleMania, no less.

Great as the hype for the Fandango match has been, Antonio Cesaro vs. Chris Jericho should've been the WrestleMania match. Easy story to tell too, Jericho's a 9-time IC Champion, but he's never been US Champion, writes itself.

Naturally, Fandango interrupted the match, but I didn't expect him to be scoring Jericho's moves, Dancing with the Stars style. Quite funny. Cesaro absolutely dominated Jericho through most of the match, but Y2J managed to turn the tides and win with the Liontamer.

More brawling with Fandango after the match, and again, as simple as it is, I love this feud... even if Jericho is at the Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown stage of his career.

The Bellas vs. The Funkadactyls was also a match that happened. And it was longer than every Divas match on Raw this year combined. It was also your main event match, by the way.

But luckily, the night ended with THE GODDAMN UNDERTAKER! "The Streak may come to an end on Sunday, but you won't live to talk about it." You will never be this badass.

Paul Heyman dressed as Paul Bearer caused Taker to lower his guard though, allowing Punk (disguised as a druid) to pounce. The trash talk here was great too, "c'mon hocus pocus, sit up for me!" Then he dumped the contents of the urn on The Phenom. It was a bit crass, supposedly Bearer's sons weren't thrilled with it (though I think they're playing along), but it will make Taker's victory on Sunday much sweeter. I love Punk and even I want to see him get his ass kicked.

All in all, not a bad final show before Mania. I think the problem people have with the "lack of build" is that this particular card doesn't really need a build. You don't need to do much to sell Punk vs. Taker, HHH vs. Lesnar or Rock vs. Cena and stories like racist vs. oppressed minority and young upstart vs. legendary veteran write themselves. I'm not saying this will necessarily translate to a great show, but the last few WrestleManias have had excellent cards and build-up, but didn't quite deliver on the hype. Maybe (hopefully) this year, the opposite will be true.

DDP Yoga - Day 30

noreply@blogger.com (Razor) — Thu, 28 Mar 2013 20:23:00 +0000

Today marks my 30th day on DDP Yoga and as of this morning, I am down 9 lbs. The only bummer is I was also down 9 lbs. last week and was hoping to make it to 10 by today, but there were delicious cupcakes at my nephew's first birthday over the weekend and I think it hampered progress a bit. But still, 9 in 30 days is more than double my pound-a-week goal and we haven't even really gotten into the intense workout routines yet.

My wife and I have also managed to stick to the most challenging part of the journey: the diet. Again, we're not following the program's strictest guidelines, but we're cooking at home, using much better ingredients and what I think is most important: planning. We've lived together for five years now and before we started DDP Yoga, this was a common conversation:

Me: so what should we do for dinner?
Wife: I dunno, but I'm starving.
Me: fuck it, let's get Wendy's.

But now, we're planning dinner for the entire week, going to the store to get what we need and cooking throughout the week. Admittedly, there have been a couple nights when we screwed up what we were trying to make and ordered pizza and we go out to eat a lot on the weekends, but planning has far and away been the biggest help so far.

So is it the Yoga or the diet change that's caused a 9 lbs. weight loss in 30 days? If I had to give weight to one over the other, I'd say the diet is the biggest help for now. But once we start doing the tougher routines and upping our time from 60 minutes a week to a few hours a week, then that will shift. Once we get to week 8, multiple routines start getting added to one day of exercising, so I expect an ass-whooping is on the way.

I don't have 100+ lbs. to lose to be one of those jaw-dropping success stories, but if I can keep this up without plateauing by the time I turn 30 in October, I'll have achieved the health and weight goals that have eluded me for 20 years.

Top 29 Matches in WrestleMania History - #10

noreply@blogger.com (Razor) — Thu, 28 Mar 2013 18:33:00 +0000

10. The Ladder Match: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon - WrestleMania X
Not the first ladder match in history, but definitely the one everyone remembers. Michaels and Ramon laid the groundwork for what would become one of the more popular gimmick matches in wrestling today. One could argue that without this definitive ladder match, the careers of Jeff Hardy, Edge, Chris Jericho and many other stars would have never taken off like they did. I don't know what else to say about this match that hasn't already been said except that every ladder match you see today uses this battle as the blueprint.

Top 29 Matches in WrestleMania History - #11

noreply@blogger.com (Razor) — Wed, 27 Mar 2013 19:38:00 +0000

11. "Macho Man" Randy Savage vs. The Ultimate Warrior - WrestleMania VII
The World Wrestling Federation was just too big for both of them after the Macho Man cost the Warrior the WWE Championship at the Royal Rumble months before. Their feud had to come to an end and it would do so at WrestleMania VII in a retirement match. Despite hitting The Warrior with five of his signature flying elbow drops, Savage could not keep him down, perhaps he had the advantage since they were in his hometown of Parts Unknown?

The real story came after the match when Randy Savage reunited with his long-time manager Miss Elizabeth. The two would go onto get married five months later at SummerSlam 1991, only to have their reception ruined when a cobra was discovered in a gift box courtesy of The Undertaker and Jake "The Snake" Roberts; Savage was reinstated soon after to get revenge... damn, I love pro wrestling.

Monday Night Raw - March 25, 2013

noreply@blogger.com (Razor) — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 20:02:00 +0000

Less than two weeks till WrestleMania and WWE still has a bit of work of to do. How'd it come along last night?

I have to wonder what the plan was for CM Punk & The Undertaker before the death of Paul Bearer? So far, the entire thing has revolved around the urn, which is totally fine, I'm just curious what the original plan was. Not that it needs any plan, as I've been saying for weeks, the mere idea of Taker and Punk sells itself, but a little seasoning doesn't hurt. Punk's whole, "I don't care about the streak, I just want to break it" keeps up his nihilistic tendencies and Paul Heyman's general scumbaggery made for a great segment. Who does Heyman come to the ring with at Mania though, Punk or Brock? Both?

Taker getting in a few punches as Heyman absconded with the urn was a nice touch too.

I'm not exactly sure how WWE managed to pull this off, but Chris Jericho vs. Fandango might be the most compelling match on the entire WrestleMania card. I still don't get the hype for Fandango and I thought putting him with Jericho at Mania was an early April Fool's joke, but I'll be damned if they're not kicking ass with this buildup. It's not like they're reinventing the wheel either, it's just two dudes who pissed each other off punching each other in the face (nice shiner for Jericho too), but it is a tried and true formula for a reason. They can't debut Fandango beforehand though, that would ruin it. Who was the last person to have their debut match at WrestleMania? Has it ever happened?

Jericho vs. Dolph Ziggler wound up being a really great match too, not that it should come as a surprise. Jericho got the win with the ~~Walls of Jericho~~ Liontamer, but suffered the wrath of Fandango after the match with a gorgeous top rope leg drop... glad someone brought that move back.

Mark Henry & Ryback tried to one-up each other in handicap matches, Henry fought two guys in The Usos, Ryback claimed he was one-upping with 3MB, but let's be honest, The Usos are tougher than 3MB. Hell, Tamina is tougher than 3MB. I'm sure you're shocked that Henry and Ryback won their respective matches.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Antonio Cesaro is a feud that needs to happen, and not in the context of this "let's just throw Cesaro in there with a big name guy every week" bullshit they insist on continuing. This wasn't much of a match though, mostly just an excuse to get Jack Swagger out there to beat up Ricardo and cause Del Rio to get counted out. Del Rio still took time after the match though to attack Cesaro, which I hated. Good guys should not do that; Del Rio's loss was his own fault, Cesaro didn't do anything wrong. Oh well, at least no one said "fiery Latin temper," so I'll move on.

Team Hell No vs. The Prime Time Players part 4824739479 was pretty dreadful. I like the idea of Hell No going up against Big Z at WrestleMania, there's built-in history with AJ there, but it doesn't change the fact that WWE's tag division is still in shambles. Titus & Darren are great in their role too, but there's nothing about this match that was going to get people off their feet unless they were going to get some nachos.

Triple H kept it suspiciously short and sweet for his promo against Brock Lesnar. I liked it, he had some great lines like "if you go into a match with Brock Lesnar thinking it couldn't be your last, you've already lost," but of course, he just had to kick Wade Barrett in the dick for no apparent reason. At least he didn't get Pedigreed through a table, I guess?

Barrett vs. The Miz played up on the aforementioned dick kick, allowing Miz to score a win and perhaps set up a Mania match, but if this does make it onto the WrestleMania card, you know it's getting bumped to the WWE Active pre-show. This match was l-o-n-g though, and I don't think anyone needs to see it again at WrestleMania.

The Shield vs. The Great Khali, Zack Ryder & Justin Gabriel was another "oh I'm so shocked" match, but a good excuse to show The Shield triple-powerbombing Khali. Although I am really tired of the "no, we're turning the tables on you, Shield guys!" from Randy Orton & Sheamus, surely The Shield should see that coming by now.

Rhodes Scholars vs. Brodus Clay and Sweet T would've been a lot better if the Bellas were wearing those sweet capes they were rocking before they left. Blah to the rest of the match though.

AJ beat Kaitlyn by count-out... I suppose that'll be your Lumberjill match at WrestleMania.

I love, love, loved the "Hall of Fame Forum" with John Cena & The Rock. Adding Mick Foley, Bret Hart, Booker T and Dusty Rhodes to the mix was great too, gave it all a bit of much-needed gravitas.

And it's probably cliché to say this, but they set up a heel turn for John Cena expertly. For the first time ever, Cena made an excuse for a loss. For the first time ever, Cena seemed desperate. For the first time ever, Cena looked weak. I was reminded a lot of the lead up to Austin's turn, which did backfire horribly, but the fans didn't want to boo Austin, they wanted to boo The Rock. This time, they want to boo Cena and it hasn't just been a mere three years like it was for Austin's run, it's been over a decade. If Cena does turn (which I highly doubt despite the set-up), I suspect it'll be more like Hogan joining the nWo than Austin joining McMahon.

Again, I don't think they'll do it, but that segment was so great, it made me think not turning Cena would be a missed opportunity. This Raw wasn't particularly great and for the most part just treaded water for Mania, but I'm infinitely more interested in Rock vs. Cena now than I was this time yesterday.

Top 29 Matches in WrestleMania History - #12

noreply@blogger.com (Razor) — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 18:45:00 +0000

12. The Undertaker vs. "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair - WrestleMania X-8
Ric Flair is the greatest professional wrestler to ever lace-up a pair of boots, want to know one of the dozen reasons why? Because at the age of 53, after years of being told it was time to hang it up, he made his return to WrestleMania and put on an absolutely astounding match with The Undertaker and restarted his illustrious career. And Arn Anderson's Spinebuster cameo is one of the coolest moments in WrestleMania history.

Top 29 Matches in WrestleMania History - #13

noreply@blogger.com (Razor) — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 19:02:00 +0000

13. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho - WrestleMania XIX
A match between two of my favorite wrestlers of all-time? Sign me up. This match is special in three ways: one, Chris Jericho lists it as his favorite match he's ever had; two, it was HBK's first WrestleMania appearance in five years; and three, it marks when Shawn Michaels made a full-time return to wrestling. Shawn had been working sporadically for seven months prior to WM19, but after this match, he fell right back into a normal routine and didn't miss a beat until his retirement several years later.

Top 29 Matches in WrestleMania History - #14

noreply@blogger.com (Razor) — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 18:58:00 +0000

14. Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart - WrestleMania X
Much like the childhoods I ruined by having Hogan/Warrior so low on the list, I'm going to lose my wrestling nerd cred by keeping this match out of the top ten. Make no mistake about it, this is a tremendous match, but it was really just a building block in the bigger feud that was to come. It was the first time two real-life brothers did battle in a WWE ring and they put on a wrestling clinic with Owen Hart sneaking out a surprise victory. The reason I don't have this match in the top ten is it's overshadowed by Bret Hart going onto win the WWE Title later that same night and what I would say is a superior match several months later at SummerSlam 1994, which I would call the greatest Steel Cage match of all-time.

Top 29 Matches in WrestleMania History - #15

noreply@blogger.com (Razor) — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 18:56:00 +0000

15. Chris Benoit vs. Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels - WrestleMania XX
I hesitated even putting this match on the list due to the horrific events surrounding Chris Benoit's final days, but it is certainly one of the most memorable moments in WrestleMania history. I'm not one of those people who get all whiny about Chris Benoit being "erased" from WWE history, why would they ever want to associate themselves with that incident? But I'm also not going to go on some long rant about how a man I did not know was evil. All I can say is, the whole situation surrounding the man just makes me extremely sad; I haven't watched a Benoit match since June 2007 and I don't know if I ever will again, but the match and its aftermath was absolutely incredible at the time.

Top 29 Matches in WrestleMania History - #16

noreply@blogger.com (Razor) — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 16:49:00 +0000

16. Hulk Hogan vs. "Macho Man" Randy Savage - WrestleMania V
The Mega Powers Explode! In my opinion, the two greatest wrestlers of the 1980s (for widely different reason) in what I would say is Hulk Hogan's best match ever... maybe (more on that later). Randy Savage had all the tools to fill the role occupied by Hulkamania, but Hogan cast a huge shadow and it came to a boil in this 1989 main event. A tremendous match with one of the best build-ups in WrestleMania history, this was the biggest match possible for a certain five year old that never grew out of watching these larger than life characters.

I also love the way Savage says "Hulk Hogan."

Top 29 Matches in WrestleMania History - #17

noreply@blogger.com (Razor) — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 18:48:00 +0000

17. Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle - WrestleMania 21
Shawn Michaels next (and far from final) appearance on this list is a dream match of sorts. What would happen if the greatest wrestler from the 90s took on arguably the greatest wrestler of the 00s? What we got was the 2005 Match of the Year. It's a shame we never got the rubber match.

Top 29 Matches in WrestleMania History - #18

noreply@blogger.com (Razor) — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 17:26:00 +0000

18. Hulk Hogan vs. The Ultimate Warrior - WrestleMania VI
This match is an integral part of any wrestling fan who grew up in the 90s, but I'd argue its influence has waned over the years. I love this match as much as the next guy, but it's just not as historically significant today as it was in 1990 since Hulk Hogan didn't retire soon after (as was expected) and The Warrior obviously wasn't the guy to "pass the torch" to (as was expected). Unquestionably the pinnacle of The Ultimate Warrior's career and his best match, the same cannot be said for the Hulkster, but it is a rare moment where the two top stars of the industry meet and it's everything you hoped for (at least at the time). I'm not so sure this match would work as well today, as evidenced by Rock and Cena trying to duplicate it last year.

Top 29 Matches in WrestleMania History - #19

noreply@blogger.com (Razor) — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 19:51:00 +0000

19. Triple H vs. The Undertaker - WrestleMania X-7
Depending on who you ask, they'll either tell you this match is overrated or underrated. Personally, I love this match and am surprised at myself for having it this low on the list. Despite being with the company since 1990 and 1995 respectively, The Undertaker and Triple H never really had their first feud until 2001 and it was somewhat hastily thrown together in time for WrestleMania. Despite that, the two unsurprisingly put on one hell of a brawl and you can add me to the "underrated" column. With WWE ignoring this match this year to make their showdown at the last two WrestleManias more special, I think it will continue to be an underrated classic.

Top 29 Matches in WrestleMania History - #20

noreply@blogger.com (Razor) — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 20:03:00 +0000

20. Tables, Ladders & Chairs 2 - WrestleMania X-7
Following the first TLC match at SummerSlam the previous year, three of the greatest tag teams in history - The Hardy Boyz, Edge & Christian and The Dudley Boyz (this was back in the day when the letter 'z' was considered edgy) - battled it out in an epic brawl featuring items that would generally belong at a Home Depot instead of a wrestling ring. Technically, they had a similar match at WrestleMania the year before, but it was only a ladder match that featured tables and chairs and not the cute TLC name. Of all the insane ladder/TLC matches these guys have had, I would say this one is the best.