Kickette

The Dress-Down: A Boho Too Far

2009-11-10T18:35:57Z

So much for boho chic. Some of our most beloved boys have taken the dress-down to its extreme: they are now solely existing within the realm of what is being commonly (and offensively?) referred to in fashion circles as Hobo-Chic.

Case in point: the lovely Owen Hargreaves looks like he’s going through some kind of major life crisis with a side of empty shaving can-itis; The always gorgeous Niko Kranjcar is one whisker away from us speed-dialing a team of stylists armed with tuxedos and hair gel.

We blame Becks and his beard and grandfather sweaters for this new trend of unruly hair and general unkemptness. Since he recently had a shave, we’re hoping these boys will soon follow suit.

Your thoughts on this look? Are we being too hard on the dress-down?

The Hook Up: Miguel Torres and Patricia Conde?

2009-11-10T17:24:21Z

There might just be a Kickette brawl, folks. This morning our Spanish amigas from Poprosa alerted us to cougar-on-the-Migi-prowl Patricia Conde and her advances towards our coveted pillow lips. He’s 23 – she’s 30.

Rumour has it, after being introduced recently by Iker “the evil matchmaker” Casillas, they went shopping (sob) and to the movies.

Until we have photo proof, we’re going to postpone our talking-to with Senior Casillas, but mark our words, he will get a severe dressing-down from us in some way, shape or form. (If you’re thinking it will involve nudity, you’re spot on.)

However, we’ve also learned that Migi has that bad streak in him we always knew (hoped) he could muster up. Gossip sources say (in Spanish, natch) Patricia and Miguel got it on prior to her relationship with Dani Martin being kaputz.

Betcha also didn’t know he once dated two former teammates rumored loves: Ariatne Artiles (Iker) and Marisa Gómez-Sandoval (Cristiano). Get on with your bad self, Miguel! Nonetheless, if the rumours do prove true, we hope his Whopper Juniors go straight to her thighs.

Alex Gerrard: Words To Live By

2009-11-10T19:45:18Z

Each week, for the past 32 weeks, Alex Gerrard has tapped the inner depths of her shopping soul for Now Magazine to provide style and beauty advice to wagabees, randoms and beauty peasants alike.

Although we approved of her hangover treatment recommendations, she never did properly teach us how to perfect her trademark black raccoon eye make-up look. Our therapist says one day we will get over this loss.

Thankfully, Alex did spend her columnist time reminding us of her life’s little pleasures:

her house in Portugal, her house in Ibiza, her rich and attractive husband, the expensive outfits bestowed to her mini-mes.

Alas, she’s wrapped on her column for the magazine; we must bid adieu to her illustrious career in journalism and await her next job opportunity with baited breath. To ensure a proper send-off, we’ve captured some of her best lyrical waxings below as a tribute to her unwavering support of all things shiny and skin-glowy.

Oh, no. Wait. She’s just been taken on as a “style expert” for OK! Magazine. Is Alex covering Coleen’s mat leave or something? This is all quite sudden. More on that later. Let’s get on with the advice:

Dress Sense
“The newspaper criticised this outfit and said I looked like a traffic light, but hey, what do they know about fashion? It doesn’t upset me when people knock my dress sense, it just baffles me when it’s clearly a nice outfit!”

Fake Tans
“The only thing I hate about fake tans is wearing it in bed – I think it smells of digestive biscuits!”

Hair Styling
“I’ve had quite a bit taken off the length because with all this hot weather, the back of my neck was getting a bit hot!”

Best Mates
“I went out last Sunday for former Brookside actress, Suzanne Collins’ birthday, because she’s a friend of a friend.”

Shoe Selection
“I love wearing wedges because they’re so comfy…however because I’m quite tall I sometimes feel like a tranny while wearing them!”

Childcare
“I’d just nipped into Liverpool with Lexie to take a top back to Cricket. Lexie’s so well-behaved and she’s such a good shopping companion!”

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Now, onto Alex’s new column!

Here’s a teaser: this week in OK!, Alex gives advice on how to look taller (high shoes, pencil skirt and a massive beehive), says her and Stevie just bought their girls a Maltese puppy (aww!) and says she bought her much-debated Uggs with studs at Flannels.

Les Bleus: Sexy in the Stands

2009-11-10T17:35:02Z

The French National team brought their well-groomed, well-dressed, well-accented selves along to the Paris Masters tennis tourny in France yesterday. image via Getty.

Note: we’ve updated with a few more photos. Goodness, this is one hella fine group of man-candy.

Style Files: Jamie O’Hara and Danielle Lloyd

2009-11-09T18:10:20Z

Many footballers find that expressing themselves creatively on the pitch simply isn’t enough.

And so, they turn to denim. Again and again.

Whilst we try to figure out just what exactly is going on with Jamie O’Hara’s jeans, perhaps you could weigh in on a) Danielle Lloyd’s hairband disguised as hair and b) whether you would go for black & white horizontals yourself?

Lazy Links & Randoms

2009-11-09T17:17:22Z

Helen Svedin (Figo’s wifey) looks gorgeous; shills jewelery for at Chamilla’s new collection at the Santo Mauro Hotel in Madrid.
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Becks trims his beard, takes off his shirt. Son Cruz continues his reign of family superstar.
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Want a kiss from Gerard Pique? Just ask for it (on a cardboard sign) and you shall receive.
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Prioritizing minty fresh breath is an admirable trait.
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A quick run down of John Terry’s weekend?

Confirm father nominated for the Parental F*ckups of the Year award; follow with a warm return to Lampsy’s ever-loving arms.
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Also: How hard can it possibly be to score a photo of Frank Lampard with his rumoured new gal Christine? Yeesh. London paps what’s up?
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Nemanja Vidic’s new ads for Puma: sexy or scary? Or (as we like it), both? Or, do you prefer Gigi Buffon’s version?
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Cristiano Ronaldo says his move to Real was like getting a new girlfriend. Um?

Atletico Madrid coach Quique Sanchez Flores is dating a hot Hungarian model named Orsi, who happens to be the sister of the late Miklos Feher.

David Villa: Bringing Xmas Early

2009-11-09T15:32:40Z

Yesterday, we popped into our local coffee shop and were asked by the barista if we’d finished our Christmas shopping yet.

…

Should we pause for longer? Do you need more time to plot a violent attack on an innocent local coffee grinder?

Anyhoo, one thing is for certain: these pics of the ever-sexy David Villa (Valencia) at the UNICEF Christmas 2009 Campaign certainly do get us into the Crimbo mood, even if it is several thousand days away.

In fact, David’s good deeds are making us feel like doing one ourselves: we’re not even going to mention that hideous DSquared belt.

Whoops.

Arsenal: Giving Us The Warm And Fuzzies

2009-11-10T17:10:41Z

Sometimes it’s best not to find out the answers to the hard questions.

For example, we shouldn’t have asked where this photo of Theo Walcott, Cesc Fabregas, Andrey Arshavin and Bacary Sagna came from. We should have stuck with our original vision: every Sunday the foursome get together, put on their happy-making costumes, eat Jaffa cakes, act out their favourite nursery rhymes and have pillow fights. They look very stern because someone just took away the novelty tea pot.

Instead we have learned they’re filming a video for the Great Ormond Street Children’s charity – and it will be shown during the Arsenal / Chelsea game at the end of the month. Good cause, but we liked our vision too. It made life feel safe, warm and fuzzy.

Side note: Cesc Fabregas is dressed as a bunny rabbit. This is one of the happiest days of our lives.

Link: Donate at Be A Gooner, Be A Giver

Update: apparently, Arshavin chose the shark suit. The other lads had to make good with what they were given.

Lazy Links & Randoms

2009-11-06T16:50:22Z

Theo Walcott was out for dinner at Langans in Piccadilly last night – he looks well-fed and happy.

Interestingly, he doesn’t look £140k poorer than the last time we saw him, which is quite a feat. (Yes, we’re still going on about it.)
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Singer Katy Perry goes for West Ham bootyliciousness.
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More baby news: Ricardo Quaresma is going to be a father!
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Who on earth returns a free handbag?
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Photo special of the many celebrity fans of Victoria Beckham’s dresses.
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What the hell are the Wolverhampton boys doing? They’re taking all the fun out of naked mask-wearing.
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Sergio Aguero says he’s flattered by Chelsea’s interest in him.
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There’s something here about Arsenal and Tottenham having a nark – but it’s the photo that’s required viewing.
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Leo Messi and his girlfriend Antonella are so bloody cute. Disney, sign them up, already!
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Jamelia’s ex, Darren Byfield needs a cookie. He’s got a little twitter rage, you see.
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Finally, please be sure to snag a cashmere gift from Harrods or Bergdorf in honour of our fearless leader’s birthday this wknd. Without her, gawking/drooling over man flesh at work would be unacceptable. Instead, she just makes it uncomfortable for your co-workers. Cheers! [Ed note - aww, thanks! FYI, cashmere makes an excellent giftwrap for sparkly things. Just sayin'.]

Alex Gerrard: Toasty Tootsies in Liverpool

2009-11-06T17:02:30Z

You know there’s only one thing to talk about in this photo, right? And it ain’t how gorgeous Mrs. Gerrard is looking – though she is looking completely foxy.

It’s the boots.

Do you love or do you hate? Our shins are getting sweaty just looking at them. We would, frankly, rather go barefoot. But we know many of you love the warm and cushies, so by all means, speak your truth.

Random: while the photographers were snapping away at Alex, some random in a car skidded on the road and nearly ran over a pap.

Update: Here’s the boots in all their glory from the ALC. Cheers L for the spot.