Killer Kittens From Beyond The Grave

Remembrance Day

kittyleclaw@gmail.com (Kitty LeClaw) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 14:46:00 +0000

A great song by B-Movie, one of my favourite new wave/synth acts. Not really in keeping with the usual Killer Kittens fare, but personally, I tend to think that war is pretty damned horrific.

Never Again... Wishful thinking?

"...We are the dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields..."

Lieutenant Colonel John McRae (CAN)

B-Movie Bags

kittyleclaw@gmail.com (Kitty LeClaw) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 17:15:00 +0000

Having a hard time finding a handbag to match your patent leather railroad spike heels? Have no fear, for B-Movie Bags is here!

Freelance artist extraordinaire Julia Griffin has assembled an impressive catalog of one of a kind, hand-painted handbags, hell-bent on solving your most pressing fashion dilemmas! Do yourself a solid, and check out her array of functional B-Movie masterpieces, featuring artwork from: The Bride of Frankenstein, The Creature From the Black Lagoon, Nosferatu, and MORE!

Paranormal Activity (2009)

kittyleclaw@gmail.com (Kitty LeClaw) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 18:05:00 +0000

Dear Katie and Micah:

Quit your blubbering. I've seen more harrowing hauntings on my local public
access channel. Seriously!

Sincerely,

Kitty LeClaw

I thought I would have learned my lesson by now. Never, never, never, never, ever buy into the hype. I'm also making a mental note to stop buying tickets. I'd much rather take my chances with the 15 year old usher than shell out another precious, Canadian dollar on disappointing film fare. This kind of crap is the reason why video piracy is so rampant. To be totally honest, I'm not even sure Paranormal Activity is worth the cost of a blank DVD.

Just because it was shot on a handi-cam, does't make it real. I thought the trick worked for The Blair Witch Project, because at the time, it was a new trick. Film something really cheaply, call it "footage," and wait for the big budget release. As much as TBWP has been shat upon in recent years, I still feel that everyone involved did a commendable job in getting the viewer to believe they were being treated to a unique experiment in voyeurism. At times, I really did feel as though I was watching home movies of Heather, Mike, and Josh being hunted by a dark presence in the woods.

Did I believe that Katie and Micah were really being terrorized in their home by a demonic entity? Absolutely not. Now that I have seen Paranormal Activity, the only thing I can say about it with any certainty is that Katie Featherston and Micah Sloat should have been left to rot in whatever cut-rate acting school the production team busted them loose from. So, how did I make it through night after night after night of watching them wake up every time something went "bump," only to fall right back asleep? Popcorn. My local theatre makes really killer popcorn.

Almost from the very beginning, I saw this movie as little more than an attempt to cash in on the success of A&E's popular series Paranormal State. I've actually seen creepier hauntings featured on that show, and it never causes me to suffer any longer than an hour. The only thing missing was Ryan's weekly refrain: "In the name of Jesus Christ -- demon be gone!"

For the life of me, I can't figure out why people got so excited about watching two people sleep for 86 minutes, especially given the fact that Katie never once unleashed those powerful sweater puppets of hers. If you're really that anxious to give away your money, give it to me, and I'll come to your house and slam all the doors you can handle.

2/5 Kitty Skulls = This movie should have been aborted in the first trimester.

Satan's School for Girls (1973)

kittyleclaw@gmail.com (Kitty LeClaw) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 17:52:00 +0000

Caution: Spoilers Galore

Young, blonde, beautiful Martha Sayers (Terry Lumley) is desperate to find her sister, Elizabeth. An old caretaker finds her pounding frantically on Elizabeth's door, and kindly lets her in to the apartment. Once inside, she takes great care to lock the door behind her, and close all the drapes. It is as though she is hiding from someone, or something. An unseen entity approaches, and Martha emits a bloodcurdling scream.

Elizabeth (Pamela Franklin) returns home later to find the place swarming with cops, and her sister hanging dead from the ceiling. Refusing to accept the police's suicide theory, she decides to undertake her own investigation.

Elizabeth travels to the Salem Academy of Fine Arts, where her sister has been studying. She hopes that someone at the school can provide her with some insight into her sister's final days. She opts to go undercover, and meets with the Headmistress (Jo Van Fleet) in order to enroll as a student herself. She tells no one of her relationship to the late Martha Sayers.

Girls of good breeding are more easily groomed
into young ladies of culture and refinement.

Elizabeth begins to notice all kinds of weird shit almost immediately, beginning with a gloomy portrait of her dead sister painted by Debbie (Jamie Smith-Jackson), one of her new classmates at the Academy. Rat Mind Control and Manipulation class with Professor Delacroix (Lloyd Bochner) proves highly enlightening for Elizabeth, as well. And then, another suicide... WTF is going on at this goddamned school???

A mind can be broken to any level
by manipulation, and locked on any level...
make it believe what we want, and act as we wish.

Elizabeth's new friend, Roberta (Kate Jackson), tells her of the macabre history of Salem Academy. Eight young women accused of practicing Witchcraft were supposedly hung in the cellar of the building, which was reputed to be nearly 300 years old. The two girls seem to be coming to the realization that their is much truth in the old addage: they don't make 'em like they used to.

As luck would have it, the handsome art teacher, Professor Clampett (Roy Thinnes) is Malleus Maleforicum: The Hammer of Witches!!! But some just call him Satan. Roberta is in cahoots with him, along with six other girls - plus Elizabeth - mirroring the 8 girls hung as witches back in the burning times! Ain't nothing like a good, old fashioned sacrifice!

I welcome what man rejects.
I beckon what man despises.
I forgive what man will not.

While I am not going to blow the ending for you, I will divulge that it's a real scorcher of a climax/finale. Fans of 1970's TV-Cinema might recall this nicely-plotted, well-acted boob tube drama from Creature from the Black Lagoon screenwriter Arthur A. Ross. Satan's School for Girls was directed by David Lowell Rich, and produced by Aaron Spelling. The old coot was so pleased with the pairing of Kate Jackson and Cheryl Ladd (who played Jody, one of the witch girls) that he recast them together in the mega-hit Charlie's Angels.

Thanks to Karswell for including this tasty, television terror-fest in that big ole box of horriffic burns!

4/5 Kitty Skulls = Video Cocaine!

Warlock Moon (1975)

kittyleclaw@gmail.com (Kitty LeClaw) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 01:30:00 +0000

Caution: Spoilers Galore

When college student Jenny Macallister (Laurie Walters) is comically accosted by an oddball wearing a disguise and speaking in a bizarre accent, she should have just walked away. Perhaps finding his schtick amusing, she sticks around long enough to allow him to propose that they go on a picnic together. In a brown paper bag, he's got a jug of wine, a load of bananas, and a piece of bread. What more could a girl ask for?

After some hesitation, Jenny decides to go with the effervescent John Devers (Joe Spano) out to a deserted spa, located 5 miles or so past the middle of nowhere. John seems like a regular guy, and can't really be blamed for wanting to get Jenny alone. After all, she's a beautiful girl in the prime of her life, and she's not wearing a bra. Soon, however, the pair discover that they are not alone when they encounter a fiesty, old crone, who appears to be squatting in the abandoned Soda Spring Spa spa.

The hag introduces herself as Agnes Abercrombie (Edna MacAfee), and provides them with a convenient history of the place over a hot cup of hypno-tea. Before long, Jenny is hearing voices and feeling dizzy. She stays back to rest while John and Mrs. Abercrombie explore the rest of the old spa.

The strange voices, and quick-moving figures she sees at the edge of her sight lead her on an exploratory mission of her own. By and by, she comes to understand that not everything at the Soda Spring Spa is quite as it seems. Jenny is glad when they finally get back into John's car and head back into the city. She never wants to return.

A few days later, John displays his unconventional personality once again when appears out of nowhere, and pounces on an unsuspecting Jenny while she is relaxing alone in a park. Although she is wearing a powerfully awesome poncho, she is unable to resist his allure as he begs her to return with him once again to the Soda Spring Spa. He explains to her that he is a journalist, and has been given the opportunity to write a story about the strange and fascinating place. After a pinch of whining, Jenny gives in to his request. The date is set.

Jenny arrives first to the spa the next day, and has the opportunity to engage in a most enlightening conversation with an old hunter (who just happens to be lurking about outside). After he almost blows her head off, the jowly, old man regales her with a frightening tale in which the former cook of the Soda Spring Spa cooked the hotel owner's daughter and served her to the guests at a lavish banquet. Heavy shit.

Heavier still: the old man promptly gets cut down by an axe-wielding maniac promptly following his exchange with Jenny. Perhaps in the next life, he won't be so forthcoming with his cannibalistic conspiracy theories?

John finally shows up at the spa, which for poor Jenny means more of Mrs. Abercrombie's hypno-tea. Then come more the weird voices, which compel her to explore dark places filled with high-speed ghosts and axe-grinding madmen. Jenny is being hunted... for the bizarre, sadistic practices of a blood cult!!!

She must die between midnight and six
in the morning, not a second before or after...

Most importantly, the circle.
She must enter it without us forcing her.

Not entirely surprisingly, John is in on it with the crone. The Axeman and his equally-psychotic buddy, Longhair, serve as "overanxious" helpers. Does the wily Jenny have what it takes to escape the evil Mrs. Abercrombie and her cronies..?

Warlock Moon shares an "eerily similar" plot the wildly-popular Tobe Hooper film, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. In his Media Blasters DVD forward, Joe Bob Briggs alludes to some "polite thievery" which may have occurred surrounding the two films, which were released within months of each other. In the end, an axe-wielding maniac is marginally less frightening than a chainsaw-wielding maniac, and in like fashion, one film flopped while the other made movie history.

It's a shame that Warlock Moon (aka Bloody Spa) ultimately failed to reach it's audience. Killer Kittens From Beyond The Grave thinks it's a fab frightener, most deserving of a trip to a rental joint near you!

4/5 Kitty Skulls = Video Cocaine!

Happy Halloween!

kittyleclaw@gmail.com (Kitty LeClaw) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 04:00:00 +0000

Killer Kittens From Beyond The Grave would like to wish all the spooky kittens out there a safe and happy Halloween...

Light the lanterns, conjure well, and don't forget the candy!

The 9 Tragic Suicides of Hello Kitty

kittyleclaw@gmail.com (Kitty LeClaw) — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 15:30:00 +0000

"Before police could break down the door to her bedroom where she had barricaded herself, Hello Kitty took her own life using her custom pink Remington Model 1100 shotgun. Hello Kitty was pronounced dead on the morning of August 30th 2003 at 12:52 am."

A random game of Google Image Search led me to this charming series, The 9 Tragic Suicides of Hello Kitty, by Los Angeles artist Thom Foolery. All the classic self-obliteration methods are included: from hanging, to drowning, to everybody's favourite -- electrocution! Each "suicide" scene is supported by a detailed account of poor Hello Kitty's demise.

It would have been nice to have seen Death by Stereo included here, but alas, kitties only have but 9 lives.

The Pig is Dead: Susan Atkins Expires at 60

kittyleclaw@gmail.com (Kitty LeClaw) — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 15:48:00 +0000

Manson Family member and murderess Susan Denise Atkins (aka Sadie Mae Glutz) succumbed to brain cancer late Thursday, September 24, 2009. Denied her last chance at parole on September 2, Atkins had been incarcerated longer than any other female in the state of California at the time of her passing. Although Susan was originally sentenced to death, her sentence was commuted to life in prison when the United States Supreme Court temporarily outlawed capital punishment in the 1970's.

Sadie Mae Glutz claimed to have found redemption in Christianity. With the help of her husband, attorney James Whitehouse, Atkins recited religious verse at her September, 2009 parole hearing. In spite of her best efforts to appear remorseful, reformed, Atkins remained one of the world's most hated women. Appearing before a parole board in 2000, she stated: "I don't have to just make amends to the victims and families, I have to make amends to society. I sinned against God and everything this country stands for." Her last publicly-spoken words before her death: "My God is an amazing God."

Unfortunately, God must have been on vacation when Atkins and other Manson Family cronies brutally murdered actress Sharon Tate and her unborn son Paul Polanski, along with Jay Sebring, Abigail Folger, Voityck Frykowsky, Steven Parent, Leno LaBianca, Rosemary LaBianca, and Gary Hinman.

"I don't know how many times I stabbed (Tate),
and I don't know why I stabbed her.
She kept begging and pleading,
and begging and pleading,
and I got sick of listening to it, so I stabbed her."

Susan was born on May 7, 1948 in Los Angeles. The runaway teenager met Charles Manson while living in a commune in the Haight Ashbury district. Manson re-named her Sadie Mae Glutz, and helped deliver her baby after she became pregnant by one of the other "family" members. He named the child (a boy) Zezozose Zadfrack. To date, the child's whereabouts are unknown.

Since her incarceration, Atkins married twice: once to an eccentric Texas millionaire, and then to Whitehouse, who, in spite of his obvious mental issues, graduated from the ultra-prestigious Harvard Law School. Before Atkins died, Whitehouse served as one of her attorneys.

Rest in pieces, Susan (one of her legs was amputated for medical reasons -- did I forget to mention that?). I hope your brain cancer was delicious!

Susan Atkins with her husband at September, 2009 parole hearing

Ouija Cat, Ouija Cat

kittyleclaw@gmail.com (Kitty LeClaw) — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 16:38:00 +0000

Morrissey made him do it!

Actually, Jack had a beef with Morris the Cat I - IIX,
and wanted to get them on the horn to sort it out.

Soylent White

kittyleclaw@gmail.com (Kitty LeClaw) — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 20:31:00 +0000

Soylent White is... delicious!!! Oh, and it may or may not also be made out of people.

To make your own Soylent White, you need to get out your instructions for making Pina Coladas. Or, you can follow these handy directions here:

Pour 1 cup of Pina Colada mix (I used Mr. & Mrs. T, but I'm sure they are all pretty much the same) into a blender.
Add 1-2 cups of ice (depending upon how much of a "slushy" mood you happen to be in) to the very same blender.
Add 2-4 ounces of white rum (I like Bacardi, probably because of their cool bat logo) to the coconutty/icy mixture.
Blendus maximus.

Now, you have yourself a fine Pina Colada. But we're not making Pina Coladas. We're making Soylent White.

To complete the recipe for Soylent White, you simply need to:

Add people.
Pour into a fun glass that looks like it could be easily tipped over.
Enjoy!

Oh, and here's some further information about that other
concoction you may have heard of.
I think they're calling it Soylent Green?

Ouija Board, Ouija Board

kittyleclaw@gmail.com (Kitty LeClaw) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 17:30:00 +0000

Ouija board, would you work for me?
I have got to say hello to an old friend

Ouija board, ouija board, ouija board
Would you work for me?
I have got to get through to a good friend
Well, she has now gone from this unhappy planet
With all the carnivores and the destructors of it

Ouija board, ouija board, ouija board
Would you help me?
Because I still do feel so horribly lonely

Would you, ouija board?
Would you, ouija board?
Would you help me?
And I just can't find my place in this world

She has now gone from this unhappy planet
With all the carnivores
And the destructors of it

Oh hear my voice

Oh hear my voice
Hear my voice
Hear my voice
The table is rumbling
The table is rumbling
The glass is moving
No, I was not pushing that time
It spells : S.T.E.V.E.N.

The table is rumbling
The glass is moving
No, I was not pushing that time
P.U.S.H.O. double F.

Well, she has now gone
From this unhappy planet
With all the carnivores
And the destructors of it

Morrissey's Ouija Board, Ouija Board

Neil Gaiman's Coraline

kittyleclaw@gmail.com (Kitty LeClaw) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 04:00:00 +0000

As is often the case, the book was far superior to the movie. While brilliantly animated (and presented in 3-D), Director Henry Selick's 2009 release of Coraline failed to capture the essence of the masterfully-crafted story by Neil Gaiman. In spite of the valiant efforts of powerkid Dakota Fanning, and the "Desperate" Teri Hatcher, the film fell flat for me, even before I had something to compare it to.

While Selick's screenplay left me feeling as though adults had toiled feverishly in order to appeal to a child-like perspective, Gaiman's original work effortlessly transported me to a sacred place of wonder and amazement, often only inhabited by the very young and imaginative. In my humble opinion, there is almost nothing worse than grown-ups who bend over backward in order to appear "cool" to the younger generation. Either you're cool or you aren't -- and if you aren't, no amount of research on playground lingo can help you. Fortunately for all the readers out there, young and not-so-young, Neil Gaiman is incredibly cool.

Neil Gaiman is also incredibly English. Although he now lives in the United States, much of his work is full of delicious British colloquialisms, and overall, bears a decidedly English flavour. When I read his work, I imagine everyone speaking like Oliver Twist, even before I've been instructed by the author to do so. Unfortunately, none of this flavour comes through in the motion picture, as the production was highly Americanized in order to appeal to wallets of the west. Teri Hatcher couldn't have produced a believable British accent if her parents were Winston Churchill and Margaret Thatcher!

Interspersed throughout the book's 162 pages is a collection of illustrations by Dave McKean. The drawings are not what one would normally expect to find within a children's book, which is much of what makes them so incredible. Rendered in a ragged, sketchy style, many of the images are downright frightening -- perfect accompaniments to Gaiman's enchanting tale of secret doors, lost children, and a fearsomely-wicked woman. One thousand heartfelt thank-you's to Karswell for gifting me with this delightfully-quirky book!

"We are small but we are many
We are many we are small
We were here before you rose
We will be here when you fall..."

The Stalking Doom (1954)

kittyleclaw@gmail.com (Kitty LeClaw) — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 21:51:00 +0000

When Derek Layne's wealthy aunt Clara cuts him off for being a booze-swilling disappointment, the young actor decides to speed up the old woman's death clock and cash in on the inheritance she has promised him. What Derek fails to factor into his murderous plan is the spinster's cat, Saki, who is sworn to protect her mistress -- even from beyond the grave!

This purrrfect paralyzer, courtesy of the Karswel l longboxes, comes from Amazing Ghost Stories #15, published in December, 1954. Be sure to savour the surprise ending! Rock!

Wherever Derek turns, the cat's blazing eyes haunt him...
He knows Saki is stalking him...
Awaiting the moment of revenge...

Cauldron: Brewing Pure Canadian Metal

kittyleclaw@gmail.com (Kitty LeClaw) — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 23:22:00 +0000

Cauldron Live @ BarNone
August 15, 2009
Kingston, Ontario

One of the coolest live metal shows I ever witnessed featured dueling guitarists who traded instruments in the midst of a face-melting riff. The band was Goat Horn, and their t-shirt design (comprised of a one-horned goat inside a pentagram) summed up the spirit of the band better than any rock reviewer ever could.

Fast-forwarding a couple of years: Goat Horn has split up, and bassist/lead vocalist Jason Decay is now touring with Cauldron, along with bandmates Ian Kilpatrick (guitar), and Chris Rites (drums, replacing Al Chambers, who is now playing with Toxic Holocaust).

So, how does Cauldron compare to Goat Horn? T-shirt designs aren't quite as cool, but the solos are better, even without the slick switch-up. The feathered mullets, snakeskin guitar inlay, and black-and-white high-top sneakers will have you convinced you just stepped into a time machine bound for 1985.

Dio rules!

Tapestry (タペストリー)

kittyleclaw@gmail.com (Kitty LeClaw) — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 16:00:00 +0000

I sincerely hope you didn't eat too much Meow Mix for breakfast this morning, as I have a special, Friday treat! After spending the last eight minutes and fifty-three seconds in dumbfounded awe of this beautifully visceral piece of YouTube meat, I found myself overwhelmed by the compulsion to share it with cat fanciers here at Killer Kittens From Beyond The Grave.

Tapestry (タペストリー) is an animated horror short, brilliantly crafted by illustrator/animator Kenny Wynne, dealing with: "the issues of war, peace and the effects they have on one person's mind." Admittedly, it was the collection of sinister pussycats which completely sold me on this stunning example of video art.

Watch as your future is torn to shreds!

Brenda Ann Spencer: "The silicon chip inside her head gets switched to overload..."

kittyleclaw@gmail.com (Kitty LeClaw) — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 04:00:00 +0000

Brenda Ann Spencer fired 36 rounds from a semi-automatic rifle through her bedroom window at a bustling schoolyard on January 29, 1979. Her shooting spree left two adults dead, and another nine people wounded (eight of them children). The rifle had been a Christmas present from her father, Wallace Spencer.

Amid the six and a half hour standoff, which eventually led to her arrest, she was asked what had compelled her to do such an unfathomably horrible thing. Young Brenda, only 16 years old at the time of the shootings, provided an equally horrifying response: "I don't like Mondays. This livens up the day."

Like many people my age, my first exposure to the life and crimes of Brenda Ann Spencer came courtesy of the highly popularized song by The Boomtown Rats. Singer/songwriter Bob Geldof had been in the midst of giving a radio interview when news of the tragedy came through on a Telex machine. Although the song has become a Monday morning radio classic across the globe, it is important to remember that it all began with a messed-up young woman, a telescopic rifle, and the haunting phrase which has since become ensconced in popular culture.

Today (August 13, 2009), Brenda Ann Spencer will sit before a roomful of legal officials as she has a number of times before, to request parole from the California Institution for Women, where she has been incarcerated for the last 3 decades.

While Brenda has, in recent years, provided a somewhat clearer explanation for her terrible crimes than her initial 'Mondays' claim, it doesn't look like this broad is getting out of the Big House any time in the near future. Still very clearly detatched from what she did on that frosty morning back in '79, she claims to remember very little about what transpired that day, and nothing at all about the actual shootings. "I don't remember, but I'm sure that I did it."

Update (08/13/09 @ 10:15 PM): Sorry, Brenda -- looks like you'll be eating fruit cocktail for at least another decade. Better luck next time.
Channel 6 (San Diego, California): Parole Denied to Female School Shooter

The silicon chip inside her head
Gets switched to overload
And nobody’s gonna go to school today
She’s gonna make them stay at home
And daddy doesn’t understand it
He always said she was good as gold
And he can see no reasons
Cos there are no reasons
What reason do you need to be shown?

YouTube Links

Brenda Ann Spencer School Shootings Part 1
Brenda Ann Spencer School Shootings Part 2
Brenda Ann Spencer School Shootings Part 3
Brenda Ann Spencer School Shootings Part 4
Brenda Ann Spencer School Shootings Part 5

Jucifer... Live.

kittyleclaw@gmail.com (Kitty LeClaw) — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 19:33:00 +0000

Warning: This Show is NOT Suitable for Epileptics

The first time I saw Jucifer play, I was astounded. Going on the advice of a couple of friends who said I "had to" see them live, I conducted none of my own research, and therefore had no idea what to expect. I was completely unprepared. In retrospect, I should have taken along earplugs, sunglasses, and a sturdy chair to steady myself against.

Backed by a retina-dazzling light show, and a literal "wall of sound," Jucifer is comprised of lead vocalist/guitar virtuosa Amber Valentine, and psychopathic beat monger Edgar Livengood. At first glance, the pair appear to be almost certainly insane. Upon second glance, all suspicions are confirmed.

Their songs were brilliantly woven into one massive orchestral noise arrangement, thus sparing their audience the trouble of deciding how best to react to something so frightfully moving. Somehow, applause does not seem appropriate. Valentine and Livengood storm through their set, each of them completely lost in the gruelling performance. Guitar Girl Goddess Valentine twists, leaps, and writhes (in a dress and heels), while Livengood engages in a heated verbal exchange with an unseen antagonist as he beats his drum kit with his bare fists. Clearly, this is some wild, heavy shit.

Jucifer's performance is an art which eludes capture, as their studio recordings bear little resemblance to the live experience. As the Jucifer.com bio proclaims: "See them while you can still get close enough to be spit on." Just be sure to bring your earplugs. And sunglasses. And a sturdy chair to steady yourself against.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Jucifer Live in North Carolina (January, 2009)

The Cry of Satan (1952)

kittyleclaw@gmail.com (Kitty LeClaw) — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 14:11:00 +0000

Beware The Cry of Satan! A horrid, heart-stopping sound, heard by those whose lives are soon to end! When well-meaning Edgar forges a plot to bring his sister Delfina's foul witchery to an end, he brings upon himself a terrible curse that bestows tragedy upon his family. For even with his evil sister out of the way, poor Edgar still finds himself unable to escape that deadly harbinger... The Cry of Satan!

Let the gruesome tale below, filled with witchcraft and shape-shifting beasts, serve as a reminder not to mess with a cat lady -- or her hair!!! Inked by Moe Marcus, this hair-rowing tale, from Tomb of Terror #3 (a bona fide classic, dating back to August, 1952), was contributed by Karswell, the Master of Pre-Code Horror Comics, and kind benefactor of Killer Kittens From Beyond The Grave.

Nighty Night

kittyleclaw@gmail.com (Kitty LeClaw) — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 12:47:00 +0000

Nighty Night

I came across this absoloutely darling piece in my travels last night. The artist, Grace Weston, specializes in "photography, staged vignettes, and photo illustration." Her online portfolio features delightfully intriguing works, ranging from whimsical childhood tableaus to vengeful forest creatures, with a monster or two thrown in for good measure.

Don't close your eyes, Little Boy... if you do, they're going to get you!

Reiko the Zombie Shop (2005)

kittyleclaw@gmail.com (Kitty LeClaw) — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 04:15:00 +0000

"The Zombie Shop opens the eyes of the dead,
lets them speak their final truths, and,
most importantly, gets paid!"

Reiko Himezono is not your average teenage girl. Behind her beautiful, heavily-lashed eyes exists a talent so powerful that she is able to charge people large sums of money just to behold it. You see, Reiko has a direct line to Satan himself, who assists her in her mission to "zombify" the dead in order to settle unfinished business in the land of the living. Reiko Himezono... the Zombie Shop!

In most of the cases Reiko is involved with, the zombies-to-be have recently died under suspicious circumstances. Mysterious suicides, decaying rock stars, abused children -- she's seen it all, and when the bloodthirsty zombies she awakens come to un-life, she handles the corpse-raising situations that ensue with an irresistible sense of pure, unaffected cool. Each of Reiko's diabolical adventures ominously lead to her final, bloody battle against Saki Yurikawa, the butchering Big Sister.

Once I began reading this speedily-paced collection of diabolical tales (published by Dark Horse Manga), I couldn't put the book down! Panel after panel of Rei Mikamoto's stunning artwork is as gory as it is gorgeous. Thanks to the astoundingly generous Karswell of The Horrors of it All, I was able to enjoy, scan, and now present here at Killer Kittens From Beyond The Grave a sampling of this work which is so dazzling and disgusting, sickening and seductive...

Reiko the Zombie Shop: Act I
Remember to read the panels Tokyo-style, from right to left!

Michael Jackson Dead at 50

kittyleclaw@gmail.com (Kitty LeClaw) — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 22:31:00 +0000

Say what you will about what he's been doing for the last 20 years, Michael Jackson's THRILLER shaped me...

Not only did I watch the very life out of my special edition VHS tape when I was a little kitty, but I also seem to recall making a play-by-play voice over on my boom box to go along with the THRILLER View Master set that I had. My audio accompaniment came complete with spooky narration, sound effects, and even a gentle reminder to change out the slides when appropriate.

At 3:15 pm today, the Los Angeles Times confirmed reports that Jackson had passed away from a heart attack after being rushed to hospital earlier this afternoon.

Michael Jackson truly lived his life as an ode to the unusual. I wonder if he plans on sharing a coffin with the Elephant Man's bones?

THRILLER (13:41) on YouTube

Arcanifacts: Ensanguined Tatters

kittyleclaw@gmail.com (Kitty LeClaw) — Fri, 15 May 2009 14:09:00 +0000

In honour of my birthday (4/22), I received a very strange and unusual package from Karswell Manor...

My pulse quickened, and my blood ran ice cold when I first laid eyes upon this most curious artifact. Fashioned in the image of the Blessed Virgin, this vessel once contained Holy Water. Now, it holds the "Ensanguined tatters from Justine's shroud." An inverted cross dangles above the blood-soaked cloth within; a warning that the vessel's seal is never to be broken, lest the wrath of Alucarda's lover be awakened once again from her undead slumber. The fragrant sealing wax barely masks the pungent stench of the grave, and the vessel radiates a strange energy I have never before encountered.

I daren't even ponder the fiendish secrets that linger within, hungrily awaiting release...

"Ensanguined tatters from Justine's shroud."

The creator of this stunning piece of horror fancy is award-winning artist and author Scott D. Ryersson, the mastermind behind Arcanifacts which, loosely translated, means secret thing made. Ryersson set up shop in 2007 "to further explore his artistic obsessions with the arcane and phantasmagorical."

After seeing photographs of the arcanifact Ryersson produced for Karswell based on Night of the Demon, I was excited to learn that THOIA's spooktacular host had commissioned one for me, as well. Eagerly I awaited my gift, knowing nothing about it other than the Alucarda theme, and that a portion of the piece had come from Guadalajara, Mexico.

The ensanguined tatters from Justine's shroud now sit proudly beneath Alucarda's portrait, adding a touch more malevolence to my living room.

Conjuring the Sons of Black Mass

kittyleclaw@gmail.com (Kitty LeClaw) — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 14:35:00 +0000

All of you lucky sinners living south of Kitty Central would have to be downright daft not to check out St. Louis rock demons, Sons of Black Mass, as they take to the stage after 10 long years of behind-the-scenes service to the Dark One.

The Unholy Masses are invited to gather at Firebird on Friday, May 1 @ 9:00 for a de-purification ritual. The ritual has been designed to prepare the victims -- I mean, guests -- for the Black Mass.

One final note: be sure to wish Punky (aka Karswell) a very happy Walpurgisnacht Birthday!

The Cat People [1953]

kittyleclaw@gmail.com (Kitty LeClaw) — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 14:36:00 +0000

It has been confirmed: Harry Chapin was a devil worshipper who wrote Cat's in the Cradle to perpetuate an evil species of half-human beasts living in the wilds of Europe. If you don't believe me, have a gander at these pages from Black Magic No. 27 by Joe Simon and Jack Kirby, published way the heck back in 1953.

Meowny thanks to the ever-generous Mr. Karswell of The Horrors of it All for this vicious tale of fur-raising terror.

"It was like looking into a grotesque nursery...
Where evil children sang to the outer darkness,
and Cat's Cradle was the symbol of some nameless horror..."

Devil Master (aka The Demon Lover) [1977]

kittyleclaw@gmail.com (Kitty LeClaw) — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 17:21:00 +0000

Caution: Spoilers Galore

"You are one, one with him whose name is unspeakable;
whose power is unimaginable. Rise!"

A guy (Christmas Robbins) doing a bloated impersonation of Metallica's James Hetfield uses the Powers of Hell to lure pretty, young virgins into his coven. His name, ironically enough, is Laval Blessing. He's a man who knows where he's going, and he'll have what he needs to get there. What blonde, beautiful, pure as the driven snow Pamela doesn't know is that what she refuses to give Laval will be brutally taken without her permission.

"There's nothing disgusting about it! Why are you so damn
hung up on the retarded morality of that world out there?"

Laval is losing control over his unruly coven, who seem to think that the meetings are more about booze and sex than about magick. They are unable to focus their energies. The unwilling virgin and her close-minded boyfriend are running amok, and causing dissention in the group. Laval mixes up a potion, says some magic words, and conjures a demon to seek revenge on the defectors.

Later that same night, Pamela awakens from a sound sleep, and is led into the woods by a powerful, supernatural force. After a considerable amount of time spent staggering around in the darkness clad in a near-sheer nightie, the young girl is clawed to pieces by a red-eyed beast with stragly hair, and massive talons.

"It's a dead body, Pete! Just like on TV!"

When the cops come sniffing around about the brutal slaying of the virginal Pamela, the coven members suspect their leader, Laval, may be involved somehow. After all, "he's real heavy into black magick." Rest assured, the plume-haired messiah and the plasticine demon he's conjured will make each one of them pay for their infidelities!

Detective Tom Frazetta (Tom Hutton) goes with his wife to a metaphysical group meeting in order to better inform himself on the topic of black magic and ritual murder, as he suspects that some weirdo who is into that kind of "hocus pocus" may be responsible for the vicious killings. Enter Professor Peckinpah (Gunnar Hansen), expert on all things strange and unusual (including, but not limited to, chainsaw massacres).

"I wanna know about these strange cults
with high priests, and black magic weirdos that
kill people in possible blood rituals."

Local police receive a tip from one of the ex coven members, the viewer is treated to a nauseating, back-and-forth exchange while Frazetta confronts Laval about Pamela's disappearance. It's painful, and not unlike watching a ping pong match!

After Laval finishes with the Detective, he heads to the local dojo to work on his karate. If the point of this segment was to show the antagonist's fighting prowess, the director has failed miserably. Laval lumbers through a set of movements with a number of sparring partners, until finally having his balls kicked in (literally!) by the sensai. Moments later, however, the hulking long-hair opens a bonus-size can of whoop ass on what appears to be an Ugly Convention. A very poorly choreographed, Royal Rumble-style bar fight ensues.

Hopped up on punchin', and bent on revenge, Laval sends his demon for the rest of the dumb broads that deserted his coven. The fuzzy-pawed devil interrupts an impromptu, girl-on-girl (on girl!) shaving cream fight/wrestling match, a scene which definitely takes top prize in the Most Inconvenient Satanic Slaying category.

One of the girls manages to temporarily escape while the demon is busy manually stimulating her friend, but she is later discovered by The Guys, all prepped for serving like a holiday ham. The stage is set. The stimulated girl, as she lay dying, uttered the name "Laval." The Guys decide to seek out the vengeful sorcerer at his "castle" in the woods. Detective Frazetta is on his way there, too.

Laval decides to mix it up a bit with respect to what he has in store for The Guys. Upon entering the castle, the men are driven mad by an unseen demon. Entranced, they begin stabbing themselves, stabbing one another, and there's even a crossbow thrown in for good measure. Cue Detective Frazetta!

Frazetta hauls his sweet, plaid slacks into the castle just as Laval's demon is laying waste to the last of the deserters. Proving that you can never trust a demon, the creature uses his conjurer as a human shield in an attempt to avoid the Detective's gunfire. Frazetta finally sinks a bullet, and then another, into the scaly chest of the rummage sale devil, and it evaporates into a convenient smoke screen.

Please don't let my lengthy, involved review of DEVIL MASTER fool you: it is not a good movie. It is, in fact, very, very, very bad. The writing is terrible, the direction even worse, and features what is quite possibly the worst cast of characters ever committed to film. Furthermore, it looks like it was put together by a blind man: think saturated, high-contrast colours, for that high school A/V project effect. Seriously, folks -- it's a terrible, awful, scab of a movie with virtually no redeeming qualities. I failed miserably in my first attempt at watching this monstrosity, and the second attempt took approximately 3 weeks' worth of concerted effort on my part.

So, was it worth it? Hells, yeah! But I'm a sucker for punishment...

"Joining an occult study group - me and my big ideas!"
Faux Frank Zappa

DEVIL MASTER Image Gallery on Kitty's Flickr

1/5 Kitty Skulls = Somebody should have turned the hose on this movie's parents!

Thanks to Karswell for delivering this diabolical dilly unto me!