As I pull into the garage door, the cellar door opens and Lexie comes running to meet me with a big smile on her face. I open the car door and she jumps in, giving me kisses. Now that’s the way to be welcomed home!

I go up the stairs and the rest of the family greets me. Lexie is still jumping up and down and I notice that she’s still ‘smiling’ – except something is a little off. Her tongue is sticking out of her mouth a little.

I ask Mark if she’s okay. He tells me that she had a play date with his brother’s young dog and maybe she ate something weird. We check her but she seems okay.

I call the vet on Tuesday and tell them that something isn’t right with Lexie. Her appetite is fine and she’s got plenty of energy but something is wrong with her mouth/jaw. She has allergies and was taking some medication, could that be a side effect? They wanted to take a look.

Wednesday morning, Lexie jumps into the car. She LOVES going to the vet. Weird. They weigh her, listen to her heart and check all vitals. This is taking longer than normal. I’m starting to get worried. I don’t want to upset Lexie though.

I ask if everything’s okay. They’re not sure. Her lymph nodes all over her body are inflamed. They let me see for myself. They ask if it’s okay to draw some blood and to aspirate her lymph nodes. Why? To send to a pathologist.

A pathologist??? A pathologist? My head is reeling. I ask the doctor to just tell it to me straight. She looks me in the eye and said she’s worried that Lexie has canine lymphoma. She’ll let me know the results ASAP. Lexie looks fine. She’s happy. WTF?

I call Mark. He’s on the road to see a client in New Jersey (about 3 hours away). He can’t talk. He’s angry. He starts grilling me. He’s convinced that I didn’t ask the right questions. He’s not mad at me really. He’s just mad because deep down he knows that it’s not good.

The diagnosis is confirmed. We’ve got decisions to make. We Google. We talk to the vet. We cry. We hope. We pray.

Bottom line – even with intense treatment there is no cure. We may extend her life for 9 months or so. This is so unfair. She’s young. She’s only five. We rescued her. Is this ironic or what?

We decide to let her enjoy the time she has left. No chemo. We go on long walks. She plays with her other doggie buddies. She doesn’t get shooed off the couch or the bed and she can have as many treats as she wants.

We begin to think. They made a mistake. She beat the odds. She’s fine. She’ll make it.

But she doesn’t. Two weeks later she wakes up fine. Happy. Justin goes to school. I go to the office. Mark is working from home and he heads out to lunch at noon. By 3:30 when Justin comes home, he notices that she’s shaking and acting a little off. He tries to keep her calm.

I come home at 4:00. Lexie tries to greet me and falls down the stairs. It’s bad. It’s horrible. She’s shaking. Panicking. She has vertigo. She can’t jump into the car.

I call the vet. Justin calls Mark, tells him to meet Mom at the vet’s. He doesn’t need to say anything else.

We all know. We don’t say it but we know.

By 5PM she’s gone. It hurts a lot. It’s been a week. We’re raw.

It’s tough losing a pet. This was especially hard because she was so young. I still expect to hear her jump off the bed to come greet me. I’m not sure when that stops.

Will we get another dog? Probably. When we’re ready. What Lexie (and all the others before her) have brought to our lives is more than the pain of their loss.

So . . . what I try to force myself to remember is her like this:

Happy Dog!

Water Dog!

Merry Christmas! Where's my bone?

Yes, I'm on the couch and I'm ignoring you . . .

Sunning on the deck.

Let’s see. I’ve got some leftover spaghetti, sauce, sausage . . . what can I make with those ingredients? Spaghetti pie! I’ve made this dish a thousand times but I usually make it with ricotta cheese. I guess that means it’s time to get creative.

Here’s what I came up with:

Preheat oven to 350F. Mix eggs, Italian seasoning, cheese, garlic powder, salt, pepper and milk together. Add the cooked, leftover pasta. Press into the bottom of an 8″ or 9″ buttered pie plate. Top with sauce, sausage and mozzarella. Bake for 35 minutes. Let rest for 2-3 minutes. Slice and serve.

This month I’ve picked up oysters, mussels, scallops, cod and striped bass.

Mussels and Clams

Next time I think I’ll pick up some swordfish.

Fresh Swordfish

Mark has been enjoying the oysters.

Nothing is better than a FRESH oyster.

Here’s a simple fish dish that will work with most white fish. In this case I used striped bass.

In a heavy skillet, heat oil until very hot. Place fillets skin side down and cook for 3-4 minutes. Carefully flip. In the meantime, make the sauce in another saucepan. When the fish is good and brown and the fish is cooked (it will be opaque), place on a plate, spoon sauce over the fish and garnish with the dill or fennel.

Striped Bass with Wine-Lemon Sauce

How? Well, Pura Vida Fisheries based in Hampton Bays, NY has been making the five hour trip from Long Island up to Saratoga Springs, NY.  This week’s catch was the inspiration for this Seafood Stew with Fennel recipe.

What I like about a seafood stew is that you can use any combination of seafood to make it. This one is made with cod, scallops, clams and mussels.

A tip – really, and I mean really, scrub your clams and mussels to get rid of any sand.

This is a very simple recipes – this is how I made it.

Heat olive oil until almost smoking. Add the cod and cook for 2-3 minutes. Don't flip. Remove from pan and set aside.

After you remove the fish from the pan, add crushed garlic, crushed red pepper flakes, onion and fennel. Cook until tender and light brown. Add dry white wine. Cook until the wine evaporates.

Add tomatoes, tomato liquid and some water or wine until the broth suits your taste. Simmer for about 15 minutes to develop the flavors. Add salt and pepper to taste. Don't oversalt!

Next add fish and scallops back to the broth, cook 5 minutes. Add clams and mussels. Cover. When the clams and mussels open, the stew is ready. I like to serve with parmesan toast.

To make, simply slice an Italian loaf and brush with olive oil. Use a vegetable peeler to shave parmesan cheese. Place on oiled bread and broil. That’s it.

The finished product! Place cod, scallops, clams and mussels in the bowl. Spoon over the fennel broth, sprinkle fennel fronds and add the parmesan toast.

When autumn arrives and it starts to get chilly I can’t wait to slip on my sweater dress.

Why do I love it so?

1. I can dress it up by pairing it with patterned hose and heels.
2. I can dress it down with tights and flats.
3. It’s perfect for entertaining. It’s a comfortable but pulled together outfit.
4. I can eat like a hog at all those holiday gatherings without feeling like I’ve got something tight around my middle.

Extra bonus? Leftover brisket makes wonderful sandwiches!

Brisket is reasonably priced and very easy to make. Brisket that’s smoked or cooked low and slow is the way to go but I don’t always have that kind of time.

The night before or at least six hours before baking, combine the rub ingredients together and generously rub into the brisket. Wrap in plastic and refrigerate until ready to bake.

Seasoned brisket - ready to go into the oven. Place in the baking dish fat side up.

Bake at 350F - uncovered for an hour. After an hour pour the beer/barbecue sauce mixture over the meat. Reduce oven temp to 325F, cover tightly with foil and bake for another 2 1/2 hours.

Remove the brisket and place on a cutting board. Tent with foil and let the meat rest for at least 20 minutes. Skim fat off liquid in the pan. Keep warm.

Slice across the grain, as pictured, and serve with the warm sauce.

The longer the meat rests, the easier it will be to slice. This picture shows the meat with the juice poured over it.