The King Of Deprecation

Quick Takes: One Thing At A Time

2010-04-23T14:03:00.000-06:00

I've been rather hyped-up on self-discovery and analyzation in the last two years. So, in early 2009, I was quite excited to feel that I made some sort of breakthrough and solved a piece of my life-puzzle. It goes like this: A) I was feeling extremely depressed and unhappy with almost everything. B) I wanted to find a solution to my depression. C) The one thing I could think of that made me...

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Quick Takes: Stupid People

2010-04-15T15:12:00.000-06:00

I bumped into an old acquaintance, and began, against my will, a dull small-talk conversation. This situation was bad for two reasons: 1) I'm irritated by small-talk 2) I thought this girl was an idiot Regardless of my feelings for this person (or lack thereof) I played nice, and kept up the conversation. But for my own amusement, I tried to see what interesting psychological observations I...

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Quick Takes: What Does It Mean?

2010-04-09T15:33:00.000-06:00

It was one of the coldest nights of the whole winter; somewhere below zero. I finished work that evening, headed out to my car in the parking lot, opened the door and turned the key. Nothing. Nothing at all. I paused for a second, eyes slowly widening, and tried it again. "C'mon damnit! You started fine today!" Again, not a sound, not a click, not a rev. After some phone calls made in...

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Quick Takes: Think Positive!

2010-04-01T15:49:00.000-06:00

I had been beset by two abdominal hernias within a few months of each other, almost went completely broke, was still reeling from an emotional relationship breakup, and was becoming so depressed and bitter about life I had recently contemplated suicide. Needless to say, good times. Even with all of the shit I've experienced in the last two years, I really hate emotional pandering. Recently,...

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REPOST: Valentines Day Musings

2010-02-14T13:00:00.001-07:00

I originally wrote the following essay two years ago. I had just been broken up with after a fun and odd rollercoaster relationship, and felt compelled to say something about this day of chocolates and paper hearts. I resubmit the following for your... amusement? No. Enjoyment? No. Bitter cynicism? Maybe. I've also written a new contribution to the essay in italics below, dealing with my one...

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The Link Between Sports And Religion

2010-01-27T13:17:00.001-07:00

*****First time reading The King Of Deprecation? You might also want to check out the 10 "best" essays of 2009 to get your feet/genitals wet. ***** Sometimes inspiration for an observation about how we think and believe, comes from seemingly trivial sources. In this case, Facebook. A fun, and unexpected series of connect the dots led me to answer the following question: "What could possibly be...

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Why Do Anything?

2010-01-20T16:02:00.002-07:00

Dear god why?! It is a simple question, but one that seems to rear its ugly head quite often these days for me, and for many of my friends. Perhaps it may seem utterly ridiculous to you, and if so, just wait a few years until you get to enjoy one of many existential crises in which the very foundation on which you built your knowledge of who you are, and what you want, erode and crumble away...

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2009: What Have We Learned?

2010-01-11T09:42:00.001-07:00

I recapped the most horrible year of my life in a perky little blog, plainly titled, "2008: The Worst Year Of My Life". I figured simplicity was best in that case. I spent the beginning of that year feeling broken mentally and emotionally after the ending of a relationship, then took that energy and channeled it into my harrowing near-death due to a sudden incarcerated hernia, and finally...

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The 10 Best Essays Of 2009

2010-01-04T09:08:00.002-07:00

Jesus, have I really been writing these stupid things for a year already? (Well, actually, since March, so, ya know, no. Not a year. Why I am I doing this then?). Ah, fuck it. Everyone loves Time Life's amazing greatest hits compilations! No... no.... I said everyone. ....EVERYONE!!! Stop shaking your head. (Or continue, see if I care... *sniff*) I figure many of you began to read some...

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New Year, Absence, And Visual Spifftacular

2010-01-03T12:41:00.002-07:00

[EDIT: Looks like I wrote this post too fast. I will forever be tarnished with a stupid spelling mistake in the address of this post! Oh, sweet shame! Why do you taunt me so!!] Yo, yo, yo biznitches. So, here we are in another arbitrary cut off point in our man-made cycle of time calculations. By which I mean 2010. Neat. Obviously I took a bit a of a break at the end of the year, but only...

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Outside Validation

2009-12-18T15:10:00.000-07:00

Boy, we sure love to think of ourselves as self-sustaining, confident need-nothings. It's obviously an ego-based idea, and that's why it's so common. Sure, we can get by for a while on our own, doing our own thing, making our own way, but eventually our subconscious social nature sneaks up on us and demands attention. You know that picture you drew? The one you spent all of that time on?...

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The Ebb And Flow... And Ebb

2009-12-10T11:28:00.000-07:00

And flow. It's trite and overused (which is why I'm using it), but there is an old adage that says, "the only thing constant is change." I think I've experienced enough of life so far to see that everything in my existence has been somehow cyclical. My emotions, perspectives, motivations, interests, even my underwear. Only a few months back I went through one of my lowest periods ever. To mark...

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BUY MY GODDAMN STUFF!!!!!!!

2009-12-06T16:04:00.000-07:00

HEY!!! *ahem* Sorry... Although I think Christmas and Hanukkah are both equally stupid, and view participating in either archaic ritual completely ridiculous, the point is that YOU don't think that. Therefore, to capitalize on your interest in these pointless things (and to be dichotomous about the whole commercialism thing... when in Rome...), I've created not one, not three, but FIVE new...

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Focus On My What?

2009-12-03T09:54:00.001-07:00

No, not that. But thanks for thinking it. What I'm talking about here is an odd discovery about myself. Just recently, I've happened upon a strange set of buried ideologies and beliefs ingrained within me that have been hindering me my whole life. Here I am approaching 29 years of age, and I'm only now seeing this in myself. And what is this discovery of mine that's holding me back so? I'm...

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Revenge Of Jehovah's Witnesses

2009-11-23T15:46:00.000-07:00

Sit down, grasshopper, and I shall tell you an epic tale of swashbuckling battles, crushing personal defeats, and divine triumphs! I sat at the computer checking my usual round of websites, blogs, news and videos, as I sipped on my morning coffee. I felt especially groggy that morning, and the coffee slowly helped to make me aware of being awake. After laughing out loud to a particularly...

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Your Self-Projection Has Potential!

2009-11-05T14:33:00.000-07:00

You know that feeling you get when you first realize you have emotions for someone, in which everything about them seems perfect? There is a moment of time when everything about that person is uncannily similar to you; their interests, their hobbies, their taste in music, films and books; their goals for their life; their political opinions; hell, even their humor is exactly the same as yours!...

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Internal And External Priorities

2009-10-13T10:23:00.002-06:00

Sometimes it only takes a word or sentence for me to be sent down the proverbial drainpipe of meandering existential philosophy. Just like my essay, "Gardening With God," in which a simple wall plaque inspired a entire blog about how people personify the concept of god. I'll change the format of this blog a bit, and give you the theory upfront, instead of gradually through examples, or at the...

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Hernia 2: A Love Story. part 2

2009-10-07T17:55:00.001-06:00

Please read part 1 of Hernia 2. A Love Story before reading on. Hey! What did I just say? You won't know what the hell is going on unless you read the first part of this story! Damn. No one reads instructions anymore. THE RUN AROUND Now that I had a possibility of getting financial backing to cure my ripped stomach muscles, I again contacted my original surgeon, to see if he could put in...

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Hernia 2: A Love Story. part 1

2009-10-05T15:22:00.001-06:00

I woke up in a groggy haze in a hospital recovery room. As the nurse tinkered with whatever was in my IV, she asked me to breathe deeply. OW! Fuck that hurts! I gritted my teeth at the intense pain coming from my stomach. This was the part I had been dreading for so long, the recovery. It was as if I'd done this before. Wait, I have done this before. It's deja vu. Why the hell am I going...

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Surgery, New Subscribers And Thanks

2009-09-27T12:07:00.005-06:00

GOING IN FOR SURGERY Tomorrow (Monday the 28th), I'll be going in for hernia surgery. I'm looking forward to having pain every time I have to sit up and go to the bathroom, or the excruciating process of simply trying to lay down. Yes, I've gone through this before already. Last year. So I figured, "why not make it a yearly routine?" I like to keep myself humble, you know. (And this blog is...

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The Depression Panacea

2009-09-25T16:44:00.001-06:00

At the beginning of 2009, I was at the lowest spot I've ever been. The year of 2008 had destroyed me from nearly every front imaginable, and 2009 had welcomed me with the passing of my cat of fifteen years. Needless to say I was a tad unhappy. I blamed this feeling on the specific events of the previous year: the ending of a relationship; my body almost killing me, literally; almost going...

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Passion Or Practicality?

2009-09-16T09:36:00.000-06:00

There is a girl at my restaurant who I've found a particular interest in analyzing, and I'm sure you can guess why. I'm attracted to her. (Well, so far) She's only a few years younger than I, quite pretty, a decently witty head on her shoulders, spunky, fun to be around, in a relationship... ... Wait, what was that last part? Shit. She's in a relationship. ... And has a new born. Ehhhhhh......

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New DeprecationWear T-Shirt: Indifference

2009-09-12T13:58:00.000-06:00

Deary me, where is my head? With all the shenanigans and goings-on I forgot to let you know about my brand new DeprecationWear T-Shirt: Indifference by deprecation Indifference by deprecation As you can see from the images above, you need this shirt. Your complete lack of emotion for anyone and anything can now be known from across the room, requiring even less effort from you to convey...

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Gardening With God

2009-09-09T17:29:00.002-06:00

There is a needlework plaque hanging on a guest bedroom wall at my dad's house. This plaque, put up by my dad's wife, is a simple nicety about one of her favorite hobbies. However, upon seeing it, I was instantly put through a range of emotions and philosophical tangents. The plaque reads: "One is closest to God in the garden." I'm sure many people would read this warm, Hallmark-wall-medallion...

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Soul Mates

2009-08-31T13:03:00.000-06:00

In my youth, I used to lay in bed and imagine epic movie-like scenarios in which I would suddenly encounter The One. The stunning, beautiful, intellectual, creative and perfect vision of a women who would make everything in my life meaningful and amazing. For years I kept hanging on to that fleeting, seductive notion, only to find myself in an ocean of disappointment and heartache. But the idea...

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