King's Daughters

Being a Woman in Business - Who Has a Purpose

2013-05-14T14:30:00.000+01:00

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven. - Ecclesiastes 3:1

Having a business can be draining or liberating and the difference often is found in the purpose. Are you in business just to make money? Money can’t satisfy, the more you have the more you want. Yes it is good to make money and I would be puzzled if a woman were in business without the desire to make money. However, money cannot satisfy so it can’t be the driving factor. Are you in business because you want to freedom of having and managing your own time? This is another great reason to work for yourself rather than an employer but again you will quickly discover that having a job is a lot less stressful that being self employed. Too often the very reason you set out in business is the one thing you never attain – free time! With a lot of discipline and clear boundaries it is possible to free up your time and is a worthwhile pursuit, but alas it doesn’t fully satisfy.

You will find that even after making money and with free time to spend it in, something will still be missing! So what satisfies? I believe that having a purpose for what you do will completely satisfy your soul and a business built around a purpose will ensure success.

Your Purpose
Purpose is the reason why you do what you do. It is the reason your business exists. Most people make money and time their purpose which is why they either fail or end up miserable as these things cannot satisfy so they lead you on a lifelong pursuit of something that cannot be attained. Take time to have a honest look at your current purpose. What is the reason you are in business? What are you striving for? What makes you smile when you wake up in the morning? Do you smile at all when you wake up in the morning? To find your purpose you need to consider three very important things:

Who are you?
What do you love to do?
How can you make money from who you are and what you love to do?

Once you have answered those question then you are ready to start building a business. You see, being you completely satisfied and the result of being you is doing exactly what you love to do. This might seem obvious but I know far too many people that are trying to be who they think they should be rather than actually discover who they are. These people are tired and drained by the constant effort to be good enough.

I know other women who are oozing life and freedom. Even on their difficult days you can still feel the energy flowing from the core of their being. Everything in their life seems to make sense and seems to be prospering. If you observe these women closer you will see that their purpose is to be themselves. That is it, plain and simple. They are confident in who they are, they do not attempt to be anything other than who they are and make no apologies for not pleasing everyone all of the time. They are authentic and their purpose is blatantly obvious – they love who they are and what they do!

Purpose in Ecclesiastes 3:1 comes from the Greek word chephets which means to delight or pleasure. In a nutshell it means there is a time for every delight and pleasure here on earth. Having a purpose is to have pleasure and delight in something. Is your purpose giving you delight and pleasure or does your purpose for business drain you?

Purpose is a really important part of life and people without purpose are often feeling lost or confused about life. Many people long for purpose but struggle to figure out what their purpose is. Your purpose should be in who you are, you should delight in who God made you to be, you should thank Him for His delightful creation known as you. Out of that delight comes your work here on earth which will be delightful too. The final step is to create a business based on these delights so that you can make money. You see the money isn’t what you delight in; the money is the end result of your purpose.

Finding You
Here are some tips on how to start finding out what lies inside of you:

Ask yourself what you excel at naturally now or perhaps when you were young?
What subjects did you enjoy at school?
What do you find yourself defaulting to now in any given situation? For example, for me it was organising things, in any situation I will always see a system that will make things neater and more efficient! Bingo, I must be a manager.
Have a long, hard, honest look back over your life up to this point and see if anything stands out to you that might define you. This may help you find out what God has put inside of you, which will help you find your way to your purpose. For me it is also writing, I have loads of notebooks in my home full of my writings and ponderings. I have always been this way; I am not content if I can’t write. Often, if I need to process something that I am going through in a season of my life, I write a short book about it. Even if it never gets published, it helps me process what I am going through.
Most importantly ask God to show you who you are, after all He made you and He is so faithful and if we ask He won’t let us down.

Once you have found some clues to who you are start to assess what you do. Is what you do a delightful overflow of who you are or is it a daily stress to make money? For example, if you are an introvert who enjoys painting and solitary time you will most likely find a sales role that involves a great deal of people time draining. Alternatively, if you are a very outgoing people’s person and are spending most of your days working at home alone on an admin based project then you are probably miserable.
To find your purpose you will need to find you. Once you have found you and matched it to what you do then you will begin to realise that there is more to your business than just making money, it can be incredibly fulfilling too.

Bigger Than You
The final stage of having a purpose in business is to have an element of what you do that is not for you but for the benefit of others. Although this might seem like an unselfish act, and it is, it still benefits you as giving, being generous and living for others, is the most satisfying thing you will ever experience. Once you have figured out who you are built a business based on what you love to do, why not find a way to help someone else through who you are and what you do. Your purpose cannot be complete if it ends with you. This is like having crisp, clear water flowing into a pond that has no outlet. It becomes stagnant and is of no use to anyone and certainly not satisfying. Make sure you keep a flow in your life and as you receive keep giving. Whether it is love, kindness, money or knowledge, do your part to live for something bigger than you, to live for the greater good. Now that is a purpose that will completely satisfy!

Find out more about Being a Woman in Business here or host your own Girl's Night. We also have a monthly business networking event called Women in Business, find our more here.

Being YOU

2013-05-11T14:36:00.000+01:00

Being YOU
The most powerful thing that you have to offer the world is the authentic you. You are indisputably original. Understanding your value will unlock your potential and take you to places that you never dreamed possible.

Book Release scheduled for 7th September at the King's Daughters Conference

Contents:
Discovering YOU
Being YOU in Business
Being YOU at Home
Being YOU Through Failure
Being YOU After Success
Being a Balanced YOU
Being an Emotional YOU
Being a Loving YOU
Being in YOUR Clothes
Being in YOUR Faith

Oxford Bags

2013-05-10T14:28:00.002+01:00

I had a fantastic day recently with my lovely daughter who owns Lorah Kelly photography. We were commissioned by one of the King's Daughters Women in Business members, Sheila Leahy of Oxford Bags, to produce a promo video for her business. She also asked me to model her bags for her which I laughed at as I am not a model. However, I gave in and said that I would as I will do almost anything to support my members' business. It was a fun day with weeks of editing by Lorah. I will let the photos and the final video speak for itself.

From this...

To this....

And then to this...

Karosa Jewellery

2013-05-10T14:28:00.001+01:00

Last week Lorah-Kelly and I had a wonderful time vising Karin Whittaker at her studio in the beautiful Forest of Dean. Karin hand-crafts silver jewellery using techniques such as reticulation, hammering, forging and etching. She uses recycled silver and ethically sources beads.

Karin at work in her studio

Hand-crafted from a sheet of silver

Karin Whittaker

Here is a video interview with Karin along with some footage of her at work in her studio.

For more information please browse her website www.karosajewellery.co.uk or meet her in person at our Cheltenham King's Daughters Business events where she regularly displays her jewellery.

Being a Mother - Who is Involved

2013-05-07T15:00:00.000+01:00

Modern technology has its advantages but also comes with many disadvantages too and if we are not careful can fall into the trap of these disadvantages. Family time with a mobile phone or computer present can lead us to believe that we are investing in our families when in fact we are not. Being available to our children is essential but in addition to merely being available we also need to be fully involved. It is so important to set aside time regularly where you can be fully involved with your children. Have you considered leaving your phone at home when taking them to the park? How about having time in the living room without any TV, computer, phone or anything else on? Observe your family time and honestly consider whether or not you are present and involved or are you merely in the same room together.
    Being involved means that when you spend time together that you are interacting, discussing, thinking, and processing life together. It means that you are interested and fully present when you spend time together. Take time to chat to your children about their day, ask them questions and allow them to ask you questions about your day too. Model how to have a conversation but sharing your day with them and include details about what you did and how certain things made your feel. Teach your children to be involved by modelling what involved looks like and by being involved in their life. Few parents are truly involved in their children’s lives these days as we are all so busy.
    Take a long, hard and honest look at your lifestyle and judge for yourself how much of your busyness is really necessary. Is what you consider to be important really important?
    Imagine yourself as an older lady with grown up grandchildren. Consider that all the years of your life have passed and only few remain. What would you like to remember about your life? Decide now to make the memories that you want to have when you are in your last years of life. You only get one shot at it and I can assure you that you will not remember all the money you made, you will also not remember all the bills you did or did not pay or the Facebook status updates.   I have heard over and over again that the memories that you cherish in old age are the memories of time spent with loved ones. As you flip through a photo album, what stands out to you? This is what should guide your involvement with your children. What do you want to remember and what do you want them to remember?
    A great way to be involved with your children’s life is to ask them how they would like you to be involved. Ask them if they feel loved and what makes them feel loved? This will give you a big clue about how to be more involved. Some children need quality time while others need kind word. Children could also need you to do things for them to express love, this is called acts of service, while other children might need lots of cuddles and physical touch. One other expression of love is gifts and this is not the same as materialism, it is a genuine need to feel loved and if you child needs this then occasionally bring home little treats for them so that they feel that you understand them and are involved in their life. The kindest way that you can be involved in their life is through teaching them about the Bible.

Find out more about Being a Mother here or use this material to host your own Girl's Night.

King's Daughters Franchise

2013-05-02T10:18:00.000+01:00

Yesterday, the 1st May 2013, was a very special day in the life of King's Daughters. Not only did we officially launch the King's Daughters franchise but we also signed our very first franchise agreement in the presence of our wonderful Women in Business, Cheltenham group at the Tivoli. Sheila Leahy, owner of Oxford Bags, will be hosting King's Daughters Women in Business in Oxford and the Somerset Coast.

If you would like to find out more about our franchise please scroll down to the bottom of the business page and to find our about our package for ministries please visit our ministry page.

Emotional Gravity - Introduction

2013-04-29T15:00:00.000+01:00

Do you feel a constant pull in your life but cannot explain what it is? It is gravity on your physical body but there is also emotional gravity pulling on your soul!

Gravity is what keeps your feet on the ground. It is a natural phenomenon and is essential to life here on planet earth. Without gravity, chaos would result. Every time you jump up, you experience gravity when it pulls you back down to the ground. Imagine jumping up and then floating off uncontrollably! We do need gravity.

Legend tells us that in the 1600s, an English physicist and mathematician was sitting under an apple tree when an apple fell upon his head. As he sat rubbing his head, he started to wonder why the apple fell to the ground in the first place. The man was Isaac Newton and this apple story led to his Theory of Universal Gravitation.

I was sitting in the bathtub, crying my eyes out one dreary afternoon, watching my tears drop into the water. As I pondered upon my melancholy I began to wonder why I was so sad so often. This led me to my Theory of Emotional Gravity. This theory has not been recorded in any scientific journals and up to this point of writing has not yet changed any lives. However, today might be the day that it does. I hope that my journey in exploring the effects of my emotions and learning to control them will help change your life too. What goes up must come down. This basic theory of gravity helped me understand and control the emotions that had once ruled my life so dramatically.

Life is in constant motion. Life never stands still and will always involve change. The sooner you accept this reality, the sooner you will be able to lead a life without too many disappointments. There will always be seasons, and the tide will always come in and go out again. The sun rises in the morning and sets in the evening, people are born and people die each and every day. Life never stops. Earth will never stand still.

The day life stops, or earth stands still, you will die.

So, with this in mind, why not try to find your rhythm in life? Find your flow, figure out your pattern and then work with it rather than exhaust yourself trying to control it or stop it. Life is meant to be emotional. Life is by nature constantly moving.

This is the introduction to Emotional Gravity which will be coming out in June 2013. More about Emotional Gravity here or pre-order from Amazon.

Gloucester Business

2013-04-29T12:46:00.000+01:00

King's Daughters Gloucester
hosted by Angela De Souza

Angela is the founder and director of King's Daughters as well as the mother of four beautiful children, speaker, author, business woman and song writer.

Network Events £20 - £30
Held at Hatton Court on the 2nd Wednesday monthly, 12:00 -14:00

12 Jun - Launch party with Angela De Souza
10 Jul - Lovin' Your Customers with Jill Chitty
14 Aug - An Introduction to Loving Leadership with Cathy Dean
11 Sep - Emotional Intelligence with Adrian Malpass
02 Oct - Vision with Tamsen Garrie

Register for Network Events here
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Workshops:

Clarify £120
Business Planing...unleash the power of your vision
First Tuesday of every month
Register for Clarify here

Connect £120
Contact Management... unleash the power of your database
Second Tuesday of every month:
Register for Connect here

Shout £120
Social Media Marketing...unleash the power of the internet
Third Tuesday of every month:
Register for Shout here

Sell £120
Sales without Selling... unleash the power of relationships
Fourth Tuesday of every month:
Register for Sell here

Live £600
Intensive Life Overhaul...unleash the power within
First Thursday of every month:
Register for Live here

Host any workshop at your place, get in touch.

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Gloucester Members

Wanted - Accountant, Event Manager, Solicitor, IT Support, Massage Therapist, Business Directory, and many more. Find our more about membership here

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Happy Saturday

2013-04-27T08:29:00.004+01:00

Resilience by Liggy Webb

2013-04-24T21:19:00.000+01:00

Last Thursday evening I went to an absolutely gorgeous place near Oxford, the Old Swan and Minster Mill, and had to privilege of meeting a wonderful woman, Liggy Webb. She very kindly invited me to the launch party for her new book, Resilience: How to Cope When Everything Around You Keeps Changing. As much as want to tell you how lovely Liggy is, I really should probably get on with telling you about her book!

Resilience is packed with useful information and applying these principles will have a significant impact on your resilience. Liggy's writing style is easy to understand and this book takes you on a life changing journey.

This is one of my favourite pieces from her book:

What Value Do You Give Yourself?

A bar of iron cost £5
Made into a horseshoes it can be worth about £20
Made into needles it can increase its value to £3500
Made into balance springs for watches, its value can leap to £250,000.

I get goosebumps every time I read it, it really makes me understand my value in a totally different way. Liggy takes you on a journey of self-discovery and deals with things such as being a positive person, taking emotional control, coping with conflict and looking after your health. She offers fantastic tips to stay healthy and to manage stress. I particularly enjoy the concept of probortunities - a combination of problem and opportunity! It's wonderful to live life using that word, it removes the negative of problems and turns them into the positives of opportunities. Here is one of the many practical exercises that you will come across in resilience:

See the glass half full - personal exercise.

Take a small notebook and draw a line down the middle of each page.
Every time you encounter a problem or negative thinking patterns write them down on the left had side of the page.
Once you have written down the negative, flip it on its head. On the right side of the page, write down what you would like the best possible outcome to be and then positively focus on that.
This is an excellent exercise to do before you go to sleep.

The chapter on Change For The Better is loaded with useful suggestions to help you change for the better. One thought in particular really struck me which is that "your mind is like a parachute. It works best when it is open."

I could go on and on highlighting the great phrases, useful tips and challenging suggestions but then I would end up rewriting the book so why not get a copy for yourself. Before I close, one more comment. There is a fantastic and thorough section on how to solve problems. I highly recommend using this section if you are facing a problem, especially if it's a serious or difficult problem that needs solving.

Get a copy of Resilience on Amazon or get a signed copy for free right here! Yes, you read correctly, I have one copy, signed by Liggy, to give away. Enter the giveaway below.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Being a Friend - Who Covers Transgressions

2013-04-23T10:49:00.000+01:00

He who covers a transgression seeks love, But he who repeats a matter separates friends.   - Proverbs 17:9

In this day and age it seems almost impossible to find a friend who has a deep conviction about being a friend. We live in a time when everything is disposable and this even applies to our friendships. Too many women are only interested in being a friend if it benefits them but when their friend becomes too needy or simply doesn’t add value to their life, they move on. As Christian women we need to be different. Not only do we need to stick around and offer friendship in difficult times but we also need to go as far as to cover our friends’ transgressions.   This means that when they mess up you draw even closer to them and do whatever you can to cover their transgression. Yes, you read it correctly, the Bible actually tells us to cover our friends’ transgressions. If we take a look at the Hebrew text we will see that cover from this verse means to plump, that is, to fill up the hollows; by implication to cover (for clothing or secrecy) and conceal. So it is blatantly saying that we should cover up rather than expose.   The word transgression in the Hebrew text means rebellion, sin or transgression. So once again we cannot find any hidden meaning or other explanation, it means exactly what it says in English. It says that covering a person’s sin is the loving thing to do but to tell others about it separates friends.
   Consider your friendships. Are you the calibre friend that can keep things to herself or do you need to spread the word and expose your friends sinfulness? Sadly Christian women are the worse in some ways because they can disguise repeating a matter in prayer making it look noble but actually it’s just another form of gossip. Be careful that when you share personal information about a friend for prayer purposes that you are not merely repeating the matter thereby separating you and your friend. We don’t all need to know all the details all of the time in order to pray effectively. Simply to say that someone is struggling is sufficient on most occasions.    If in doubt rather cover the transgression and only confide in your leader, husband or someone you can trust if you are genuinely concerned.
   Jesus is our ultimate example of covering our transgression because it is in Him, when we are covered by Him, that we are free. It is as if He wraps His arms around us to form a cocoon and in this cocoon of His love, we are transformed and become a new creation. We are embraced as a worm and release as a butterfly. If Jesus does this for us shouldn’t we do the same for our friends? Shouldn’t we cover them and love them until they are transformed?
   King’s David in the Psalms calls it the joy of forgives. Psalm 32:1 says, “Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.” Blessed in this verse is translated ‘how happy’. How happy is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Put yourself in your friends’ shoes, or perhaps you have already been there or are there right now. How happy would you feel if you had another chance? If you sin didn’t define you but was covered until you found freedom. Its God’s place to judge but it’s our place to love sinners as Jesus did. Let me finish off with the beautiful words from a man who called himself a great sinner, John Newton.
“Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now am found, was blind, but now I see.”
   We were all once lost and blind and when we begin to see we will realise the value of covering other’s transgressions just as someone covered ours in the times when we were lost and blind. Peter put it like this in 1 Peter 4:8, “Above all, love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

Find out more about Being a Friend here or about using our material to host your own Girl's Night here.

Being a Friend - Who Judges Herself

2013-04-23T10:03:00.005+01:00

Did you know that if you judge someone else you are bringing judgement upon yourself? Yes it’s true and it’s a scary thought. Also, the measure that you use to judge will be used back on you. Not only that, but if we compare ourselves to other people we are told by God that we are not wise.
   I don’t know about you, but judging and comparing ourselves is just what we naturally do as girls! We are born that way. From the earliest age I can remember judging others and comparing myself to other people. We are taught to compare and compete at school, we are taught to judge. It seems to be the ‘acceptable’ thing! But not according to God’s standard. His ways are higher than ours and if we are parents we should not conform to the world’s ways, we should save our children from the judgement of God by teaching them to show mercy to others from a young age. So let’s take a look at God’s ways.

Matthew 7:1-2
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.

Ouch! That says it just as it is, no need to try and find the hidden meaning in that, it’s very plain to see.

James 2:13
For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

This one is plain to understand too! We need to show mercy to people and not judge them. Mercy wins, judgement loses. If we don’t show mercy to others we will not receive mercy from others and from God! This is a very serious matter. I don’t know about you but I need mercy both from other people and from God. I need mercy all the time.
   I have found the best way to keep things in perspective is to NEVER think of myself more highly than I ought to. Keeping things in perspective is essential and if I even begin to feel pride creep into my heart I know that I am thinking too highly of myself. If you are aware of pride it is easy to spot in your own life, so cultivate awareness and choose to keep yourself humble for God and before others.

Romans 12:3
For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.

So how do we view others then? It’s easy, yet again plain put in the Bible. We view others better than ourselves.

Philippians 2:3
Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.

Esteem means regard, respect, appreciate or value. We need to regard people better than us, respect them as better than us, appreciate them as better than us and value them as better than us.
   Also, it doesn’t say to esteem only good people or worthy people, it just says people. So next time you walk past a drunk person don’t look down at him and think yourself better than him because you are not drunk – you are not better than him. Or if you walk past a mum shouting at her child in the street, don’t look down at her thinking that you are better than her because your child is behaving and you aren’t shouting – you are not better than her.
   We are in no position to judge, we have no idea why people are the way they are, we can’t begin to understand their heart and we most certainly don’t have it all figured out ourselves. If we truly want to live in God’s grace we need to judge ourselves only.

1 Corinthians 11:28
But let a man examine himself...

1 Corinthians 11:31
For if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged.

It’s essential that we judge ourselves if we want to become the women that God wants us to be and the friends that our friends need us to be. Judging ourselves does not mean comparing ourselves to each other. We judge ourselves according to the Bible, God’s handbook for life! God has set the standard for living and we need to do our best to measure up. We shouldn’t feel condemned when we realise we don’t measure up, we simply need to know what to aim for.
   When it comes to being a friend we need to make sure we intentional stop judging our friends and start to judge ourselves. Not only will be become a much better friend but our friends will also feel safe with us. There is nothing more hurtful and soul destroying that knowing that your friends judge you and talk behind your back about it. Decide today to become a friend who will only judge herself.

Find out more about Being a Friend here or about using our material to host your own Girl's Night here.

Somerset Coast Business

2013-04-22T10:14:00.002+01:00

King's Daughters Somerset Coast
hosted by Dr Sheila Leahy

Sheila owns Oxford Bags which was founded in 2012 where she enjoys sourcing classic and fashion handbags made in fine fabrics and leather. Sheila has an edited collection of handbags from established brands. She has also completed her PhD in Education and has a passion for business. The Somerset Coast territory covers Weston-super-Mare, Bridgewater, Burnham-on-Sea and Highbridge

Network Events £20 - £30
Held at a beautiful 18th century house, The Greenwood, monthly.

25 Jun - Welcome to King's Daughters with Angela De Souza
3l Jul
27 Aug
24 Sep
29 Oct
19 Nov
18 Dec

Register for Network Events here
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Workshops:

Clarify £120
Business Planing...unleash the power of your vision
First Tuesday of every month
Coming soon

Connect £120
Contact Management... unleash the power of your database
Second Tuesday of every month:
Coming soon

Shout £120
Social Media Marketing...unleash the power of the internet
Third Tuesday of every month:
Coming soon

Sell £120
Sales without Selling... unleash the power of relationships
Fourth Tuesday of every month:
Coming soon

Live £600
Intensive Life Overhaul...unleash the power within
First Thursday of every month:
Coming soon

Host any workshop at your place, get in touch.

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Somerset Coast Members

Wanted - Local Business Women. Find our more about membership here and get in touch with Sheila to sign up!

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Oxford Business

2013-04-21T09:47:00.001+01:00

King's Daughters Oxford
hosted by Dr Sheila Leahy

Sheila owns Oxford Bags which was founded in 2012 where she enjoys sourcing classic and fashion handbags made in fine fabrics and leather. Sheila has an edited collection of handbags from established brands. She has also completed her PhD in Education and has a passion for business and for Oxford.

Network Events £20 - £30
Held at TBC

Wed 19 Jun
Wed 31 Jul
Tue 27 Aug
Tue 24 Sep
Tue 29 Oct
Tue 26 Nov
Tue 17 Dec
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Workshops:

Clarify £120
Business Planing...unleash the power of your vision
First Tuesday of every month
Coming soon

Connect £120
Contact Management... unleash the power of your database
Second Tuesday of every month:
Coming soon

Sell £120
Sales without Selling... unleash the power of relationships
Fourth Tuesday of every month:
Coming soon

Live £600
Intensive Life Overhaul...unleash the power within
First Thursday of every month:
Coming soon

Host any workshop at your place, get in touch.

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Oxford Members

Being a Lover - With a Past

2013-04-16T15:00:00.000+01:00

Before we can get into the fun side of being a lover we should take a look at the things that can prevent us from enjoying intimacy in marriage. Sadly few people wait until their wedding night these days leaving loads of marriages scarred by unnecessary baggage. It wasn’t meant to be this way. We, like swans, were designed to love once and to make that love last a lifetime. In Song of Solomon it says three times, “Do not stir up nor awaken my love until it pleases.” Usually when something is repeated in the Bible it means that we really need to get it! Many versions omit the ‘my’ from that verse but when you realise that the original text says ‘my’ you realise that what is being requested is a man asking the woman not to arouse him before it is the right time to be aroused. There is a right time and a wrong time to be aroused. Why? Because once you are aroused it is very difficult not to want to go all the way and this is why the verse in 1 Corinthians 7:9 had to be added to the Bible. It says, “...but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
   Awakening love before it is ready will either lead to a quick marriage or sin. It is always best to take time to befriend someone before allowing love to be awakened. Get to know them. Pray about whether or not they are the once you want to spend your life with. Remain objective before love hormones kick in and make you blind to the things you should see. Sex before marriage diminishes sexual fulfilment within marriage. You can find more about remaining pure in Being a Single Woman but now let’s focus on what to do if you have already awaked love before it is ready.

Sex Outside of Marriage
If you are in a sexual relationship outside of a monogamous, heterosexual marriage then end it immediately and stop hurting yourself. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 6:18 to “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.” Even though you may not realise it at the time, sex outside of marriage is harmful to you which is why the Bible says to flee it. Don’t try to ease out of a sexual relationship – you cannot as you are united with the person. Don’t be fooled into thinking that you can continue seeing each other but stop having sex – it seldom works and you will always end up in bed together. Don’t justify your relationship by saying that you intend to get married and have asked God to bless your relationship. Until the day that you marry you are unmarried. There is no grey area – you are either married or unmarried whatever you say to justify your sin doesn’t make it any less sinful.
   These hard words are not written in judgement or to condemn, they are written by a woman who has been ensnared by sin herself and can vouch for the pain that results from sexual sin. My plea to you to get out of the sinful relationship that you are in is for your own good. Sex outside of marriage always leads to pain and consequences that are unbearable at some point in your life. Perhaps they don’t rear their ugly head right away but they always come back to bite you. I can only imagine how precious and beautiful loving only once must be - a treasure that I do not posses and will never know the beauty of.

Sex with a Past
Thankfully, God redeems and restores. I will never know the beauty of loving once, even God cannot give that back to me, but He does other wonderful things if we remain true to Him and commit to sexual purity. Here are a few things that can crop up if you have sex with a past:

Memories
God does not erase your memory when you repent of your sin. Once you have made a memory it stays with you forever so be careful what memories you make. Take responsibility for the ones you can control and for those that you have no power over, deal with them quickly so they don’t rob you of your joy and peace.

Dealing with Memories
You might remember something but it is your choice as to whether or not you continue to think about the memory and allow it to affect you. You can’t stop the memories from coming but you can choose what you do with them when they come. Most importantly, you can change how you feel about the memories.

1.   Submit Your Memories
When a memory comes to mind submit it to Jesus right . Don’t linger in the memory or take a trip down memory lane with a past lover. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, “...bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ”. Catch the thought and give it to Jesus. You can do this by simply saying so either out loud or in your mind. It’s a decision you make and once you have given to Jesus leave for Him to deal with.

2.   Replace Your Memories
The next step is to fill the void from the past memory with something else, something positive. Build your marriage by thinking about the right things and don’t entertain wrongs thoughts. You always have the power over your own mind. No one has brain washed you and God certainly will not even if you ask Him to. He gave us free will so it’s up to us what we use it for. Memories do come but you can choose whether or not you linger in them. Replace bad memories with good ones, you have the power to do so.

3.   Transform Your Memories
God, in His mercy, can heal us from our memories so that we no longer have negative or upsetting feelings from them. In my experience, He doesn’t remove the memories but He does remove the effect that they have on you. This comes through healing.
   There is little you can do if you have a memory at an awkward time like during love making or on a date night so it’s best just to mentally submit the memory to Jesus and to replace it with something else. However, you can create a private time with just you and Jesus where you can proactively deal with your memories. In a quiet and private environment, allow yourself to go back to some of the memories that are bothering you and ask Jesus to go back with you. As you relive the memory, ask Him what He has to say about it and ask him to heal you. You will find this time with Jesus incredible and result will be transformed memories. A healed and transformed memory means that when it comes to mind it has no effect on you. Healed memories can be quickly dismissed and forgotten about. Healed memories have no effect on your present. They are merely stored data in your brain but have no real effect on your body or emotions.

Behaviours
Many times our past dictates our responses and behaviours. If you have been in a serious relationship you may find that you transfer some of that relationship into your marriage. You might find that you mistrust your husband for things that your past man did or you may treat him based on your past. It is essential to separate your marriage from your past relationships and there are several ways you can tackle this:

1.   Seek Truth
It is easy to be blinded by strong feelings and in these times you must commit to moving beyond these feelings to find the truth. Your marriage will be significantly robbed if you allow your past relationship to determine your behaviour in your marriage. First you need to seek the truth about who your husband is and secondly about what he likes.
   Sex is very specific to the person so you will need to take time to learn about what turns your husband on, what pleases him and what he dislikes. Don’t treat him as you have treated past loves. He needs to be explored and discovered. Seek the truth about him.

2.   Meditate on Truth
The best way to forget the things that you need to put behind you is the force your mind to think about the things that you want to become a reality in your life. For example a past thought based on a bad experience could be, “All men are the same, all they want is sex.” This past thought could be based on a lie that you have believed due to hurt. The problem is that whenever your husband hurts you this lie will immediately rear its ugly head. He will hurt you from time to time because he is only human, misunderstanding and misinterpretation happens and you are probably sensitive in some areas. To get rid of this bad pattern you need to meditate on what you know to be true. When you feel hurt change your thoughts to what is true, for example. “My husband loves me and when he desires to have sex with me it is because of his love for me.”
     The truth is that all men are the same in many ways and their need for sex is one of those areas. All men need sex just like all women need to be loved. Sex = love for a man. This in itself is not a bad thing but the emotions that you attach to his need could be received as either a good or a bad thing. Meditate on the truth so that your husband can be free to express his sexual needs without you chastising him for being a bad man. This is just one example but a very common one, find what you struggle with and replace it with a truth phrase that you can meditate on.

3.   Act on Truth
Once you have begun meditating on truth you need to find ways to act on it. Acting on the truth will seal the truth into your heart and before you know it the problem area is no longer a problem. Treat your marriage as your first and only love. Find out who he really is and what he really likes, making no assumptions based on past relationships. Your behaviour towards him should be determined by him and by what you know to be true and right. No past should influence any part of your marriage. Keep your mind focused on the truth that you have found so that the way you treat your husband is specific to him. What turns one man on may offend another. Not all men are the same. Don’t treat your husband like your perception of ‘all men’.

There is much more that can be said but I will leave it with you to figure out. If you are a lover with a past, deal with the past so that you can enjoy your present and have hope for your future. Let me leave you with one little gem of truth. Your sex life is the most important part of your marriage. Don’t leave it to chance, be intentional, work on it and enjoy making love to your man!

Find out more about Being a Lover here or get in touch to host your own Girl's Night.

Suicide of Rick Warren's Son

2013-04-11T17:10:00.000+01:00

I was shocked when I heard the tragic news about Rick Warren's son. If you don't know who Rick Warren is, he is the founder and senior pastor of Saddleback Church, a very influential and well respected Christian leader. If you’re unaware of what happened, here’s Pastor Rick’s letter. We would like to offer our heartfelt condolences to Pastor Rick, his family and his church. There are no words to express just how sad we are with and for you.

I have decided to take this opportunity to share my story, which I have recorded in detail in my book, Hope's Journey, with you at a very special Girl's Night which will be hosted here in Cheltenham, UK and once recorded will be available on our YouTube channel. If you can't make the Girl's Night and need support please feel free to contact me or get in touch with your local church or with the Samaritans.

Facts about suicide around the world:

1 million people across the globe die by suicide each year. That’s one suicide every 40 seconds.
More people die by suicide each year than by murder and war combined.
It’s estimated that approximately 5% of people attempt suicide at least once in their life.
Between 10% and 14% of the general population have suicidal thinking throughout their lifetime.
Suicide is the second biggest cause of death worldwide among 15-19 year olds.
100,000 adolescents die by suicide every year.
Suicide is estimated to be under-reported for reasons of stigma, religion and social attitudes. Many suicides are hidden among other causes of death, such as road traffic accidents and drowning.

(Source: International Association for Suicide Prevention)

Don't wait for disaster to strike before you realise how real this problem is.

Life Workshop

2013-04-09T10:53:00.001+01:00

Join us for one day where we will workshop your life so that you will have a road map to become who you have always wanted to be and will do the things that you have always wanted to do! Life is short and you have wasted too much time already, don't put a price tag on the rest of your life.

Stop waiting and change your life today.

Areas Covered:
Money - Take Control
Relationships - Find Satisfaction
Work - Find Purpose
Spiritual - Be Complete (optional extra)

Ticket:
You ticket will entitle you to a full day Life Workshop, tea, coffee, lunch as well as one private follow up mentoring session after the event. £600 Book here

You know all those things you've always wanted to do?
You should go DO THEM.

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Being a Woman in Business - Who Leads by Example

2013-04-08T09:42:00.000+01:00

Someone is always watching you. Whether you like it or not you are leading. The question though is whether or not you are leading people in a good way or in a bad way. It’s not what you say that counts as much as what you do and it’s not what you do in public that counts as much as what you do when you think no one is looking! Often it is the small things that we think are insignificant that are actually the things which have the most impact on people’s lives. The "Do as I say, not as I do" philosophy is nonsense. Even if you expect them to do as you say, they will find it very difficult not to do as you do. It is a double standard which will only cause people to be discouraged and feel insecure or betrayed.

You are a leader. Full stop. If you are alive and breathing you are leading someone unless of course you are the Unabomber who lived alone in a remote cabin. I wonder who his leader was? Parenting is leadership, have a job is leadership and going to church is leadership. You can lead whilst doing the grocery shopping or eating with your family at McDonalds.

If you are a parent take time to observe your children. They act as little mirrors that will show you exactly who you really are. Unfortunately they didn’t come up with their bad points all by themselves, they learned them from you. Equally, if you notice something good about them then you can also assume that they got it from you. I have learned so much about myself by observing my children and having the courage to face the things in me that I noticed in them.

You can do the same exercise if you lead a team. No one in your team can rise above your personal constraints and the best way to find out what these constraints are is by asking your team to tell you. Watch your team, take time to observer them, see their weaknesses and strengths and then see if there is anything you can learn from them so that you can improve and take them forward with you.

Natural Leaders Do the Right Things

"Managers Do Things Right. Leaders Do the Right Things"

- Peter F. Drucker, Management Consultant

Talk is cheap. Let’s just put that out there right from the start. Everyone can talk but few people do what they talk about. It takes courage to step out and do great things, to risk failure and embarrassment. How many people do you know that have big dreams? How many people do you know that are living a big life? There is a vast difference between the two I am sure because it’s easy to talk about big things but much more difficult to step out and do the things that you talk about. People watch you and will quickly see whether you are a talker or a doer. After a talker has exhausted his audience they will begin to switch off and stop believing in anything he has to say. Decide to keep your mouth shut until you are sure that you are ready to take the plunge or else those that you want to follow you and support you will not take your seriously.

Managers are the next level of leadership. These are leaders that are under authority and follow the instruction of the leaders. A good manager will do what the leader says with excellence, they will do it right. If you manage people you will lead well by demonstrating submission to your leader. Monkey see, monkey do! Leading in this way will mean that you won’t necessarily have to tell your team to do certain things or act in a certain way. They will do as you do. Whatever you want them to do, make sure that you are doing it first. If you want them to behave a certain way, make sure that you are behaving that way too.

An excellent leader can be in any position within an organisation and whatever their position they will always rise to the top. Leaders lead without having a title or being told to do so. Just because someone has a title doesn’t make them an excellent leader at all. You can be the cleaner at the Microsoft Corporation and have better leadership skills than their top dog. So let’s recap:

Natural Leaders:

- Don’t need a title to lead

- Don’t need to be asked to lead

- Don’t seek promotion but will always rise to the top

- Do rather than talk about doing

- Submit to their leader

Biblical Leadership

“Shepherd the flock of God which is among you, serving as overseers, not by compulsion but willingly, not for dishonest gain but eagerly; nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock; and when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that does not fade away.”
1 Peter 5:2-4

Intentional Leaders Make the Right Changes

"Insanity Is Doing The Same Thing Over And Over Again and Expecting Different Results".

- Albert Einstein, Theoretical Physicist

The natural leader list contains some of the characteristics that will define a natural leader. Some people are just natural leaders and others have to learn to lead. If you want to learn to lead with excellence then start with making the list true about you. Work on each point until it becomes natural to you. Remember, even while you are working on becoming an excellent leader, others are watching you and will be influenced by your journey.

A leader will do the right things! They understand leadership principles and they understand how to get the most out of their team. Knowing that you are leading and being intentional in your leadership makes the best leaders. Now that you know you want to lead, the next step is to lead intentionally. When you lead intentionally by example, you make it easy for others to follow you, you clear the path for them. An intentional leader will understand the importance of self development. They will spend a portion of their day or week on growing themselves. To inspire others to be more means that you too need to be constantly growing and changing. Taking others with you on your journey, taking others under your wing, is important to you as you are as passionate about developing others as you are about developing yourself. In fact, you understand the responsibility and weight of leadership and your motivation is to be a leader for the sake of others. You do this by making yourself available to mentor others.

One key quality of intentional leaders is their integrity. Truth and honesty are extremely important to these leaders and they can be trusted by all who follow them because of this quality. A leader without integrity has the same results as building on quicksand – you will get nowhere fast and end up with nothing. Integrity is much more than telling the truth. There is something about leaders with integrity that seems pure, trustworthy and reliable. Integrity can be learned and is constantly grown and developed within a leader. Learn from people like this, it’s OK to be an imitator of someone who inspires you to be more. So let’s recap:

Intentional Leaders:

- Work at personal growth

- Recognise the responsibility of leadership

- Include others on their journey

- Act with integrity

- Are available to mentor others

Biblical Leadership

“Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 11:1

Excellent Leaders Know Who They Are

"Leadership begins with knowing who you are and what you believe"

- LaRae Quy, FBI Agent

Authenticity is essential for all leaders regardless of their station in life. The best leaders are those who are fully in touch with themselves, they know who they are and they refuse to compromise what they know to be true about them. This centeredness gives them the ability to help others uncover the truth about who they really are. Leading business thinker and one of the bestselling authors of the last decade, Tom Rath, said, “You cannot be anything you want to be—but you can be a lot more of who you already are.” Authenticity is about being you and excellent leadership is about being the best possible version of you. Leaders who take their role seriously are also serious about their vision. It’s easy to follow authentic leaders as everything about them will be real leaving you with confidence in them and the path they are leading you on. Authentic leaders are passionate and have a purpose to their life. They also tend to be balanced and enjoy all aspects of their life. Personal values are important to excellent leaders and they will not compromise them to please others.

An excellent leader will always bring out the best in you and inspire you to be more because they understand that they lead not to make themselves great but for the sake of others. Leaders who do their job well will do themselves out of a job. They will make the student better than the teacher thereby creating successors and a legacy. Sadly, some leaders make it all about themselves, they may achieve something great for a brief period of time but it is never sustainable and once they die or fall it ends with them because they didn’t invest in anyone else.

Humility characterises a truly excellent leader. Those that are bossy, domineering and overbearing may achieve a measure of success in the short term but the patient, humble and kind leader can achieve so much more. Don’t mistake humility or kindness for weakness. It takes more strength to have these characteristics than it does to be a dominating leader. It’s easy to boss someone around and force them to do what you want them to do. To bring out the best in someone resulting in the results you want is not easy at all and requires excellent leadership skills.

Becoming You

Becoming you sounds silly as you are already you, but are you really you? Too many of us are defined by many external things such as what people say about us or what they think of us. Our identity can be wrapped up in the wrong things leaving us unsure of who we really are. Here are some guidelines:

1. Know Your Strengths

Observe yourself in various situations and take time to know your true strengths. Use these strengths as they will come naturally to you and require minimal effort. Life will be a lot less tiring when you learn to operate from a place of strength.

2. Manage Your Weaknesses

Weaknesses have the potential to become strengths if you work at them. You don’t have to be good at everything though and accepting some weaknesses could take a load from your shoulders. Manage the weaknesses that you are aware of so that they don’t drain you, your potential and those around you.

3. Know What You Believe

Changing your core beliefs every five minutes in order to fit in can be exhausting. Decide what is important to you and what you believe to be true and stand by these beliefs whether or not people agree with you. Your beliefs can guide you through difficult patches and assist you with difficult decisions.

4. Value Truth

No matter who you are leading you should value truth for your own integrity. Truth always wins and leading with truth will always make you head and shoulders above leaders who lack integrity. Seek to know the truth and learn to love the truth. Perhaps the most famous verse about truth in the Bible is what Jesus said “… I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6

5. Know Your Values

Your values are your principles, standards and morals. People respect leaders who show clear values and who don’t compromise them. People pleasers tend to compromise their values but strong leaders will not slide in this area.

Discovering your authentic leadership requires a commitment to developing yourself. So let’s recap:

Excellent Leaders:

- Are authentic

- Are humble

- Have vision, passion and purpose

- Don’t overwork but lead a balanced life

- Inspire you to be more

Biblical Leadership

“Since an overseer manages God’s household, he must be blameless—not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain.” Titus 1:7

Exceptional Leaders Create an Experience

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

- Maya Angelou, Author

Top level leaders understand that how you make people feel is the most important part of leadership. You can say something in a way that makes people feel bad or you can say exactly the same thing in a way that makes people feel good. Obviously people like to feel good! A common quote on the subject states, "We learn 10 percent of what we read, 20 percent of what we hear, 30 percent of what we see, 50 percent of what we see and hear, 70 percent of what we discuss with others, 80 percent of what we experience, and 95 percent of what we teach to someone." Take time to create an experience for those you are leading. Develop your skill in this area and be intentional about making people feel good about what you are saying and what you are doing. Even if you are not directly leading someone, those observing you will observe how you feel about what you are doing and will be impacted accordingly. If you are enjoying the journey they will want to follow you but if you are grumpy, complaining and always saying how hard it is then you will find no one queuing up to follow you.

An exceptional leader is a good communicator and understands the importance of listening... a lot! Listening is the most important part of excellent communication as you must be willing to understand the needs and desires of others by asking questions and being open minded enough to consider all options. In general, people like to talk about themselves and if they are struggling with something they like to talk a lot about the struggle and how it makes them feel. Don’t cut them off, allow them to talk and by doing so you will win their favour and when you need to talk they are more likely to listen to what you have to say. You don’t need to say much to lead well but you do need to have a listening ear to get people to follow you. Showing that you care for someone is more important than showing someone what you care about. Once they know that you care for them then they will be likely to hear you.

Exceptional Leaders:

- Create an experience

- Teach others

- Communicate clearly

- Listen attentively

- Genuinely care

Biblical Leadership

“Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly” James 3:1

People are Watching You So Make Sure You:

Only ask people to do what you would be willing to do yourself.

Only set rules that you are willing to observe yourself.

Only treat others as you would have them treat you.

Always take the blame, if it’s someone you are leading then it’s always your responsibility.

Always give credit where credit is due even if it’s a stretch

Always reflect the credit onto someone else rather than absorbing it all for yourself

Find out more about Being a Woman in Business here or host your own Girl's Night. We also have a monthly business networking event called Women in Business, find our more here.

Cheltenham Business

2013-04-03T17:44:00.000+01:00

King's Daughters Cheltenham
hosted by Angela De Souza

Angela is the founder and director of King's Daughters as well as the mother of four beautiful children, speaker, author, business woman and song writer.

Network Events £20 - £30
Held at The Tivoli on the 1st Wednesday monthly, 12:00 -14:00

5 Jun - The Sticky Business Network with Adrian Malpass
3 Jul - Rule Your World and Create a 6 Figure Business with Shirley Billson
3 Aug - 'Why is Marketing Like Dating? with Bryony Anne
4 Sep - Resilience with Liggy Webb
2 Oct - Vision with Tamsen Garrie

Register for Network Events here | Previous Event Feedback

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Workshops:

Clarify £120
Business Planing...unleash the power of your vision
First Tuesday of every month
Register for Clarify here

Connect £120
Contact Management... unleash the power of your database
Second Tuesday of every month:
Register for Connect here

Shout £120
Social Media Marketing...unleash the power of the internet
Third Tuesday of every month:
Register for Shout here

Sell £120
Sales without Selling... unleash the power of relationships
Fourth Tuesday of every month:
Register for Sell here

Live £600
Intensive Life Overhaul...unleash the power within
First Thursday of every month:
Register for Live here

Host any workshop at your place, get in touch.

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Cheltenham Members

Women in Business - 2013 Events Feedback

2013-04-03T16:14:00.000+01:00

Jan - Coffee Beans, Lego and a Large Bucket with Adrian Malpass

"Thank you Angela for today's meeting, lovely venue, and great to see you again. Good to meet Adrian Malpass, his talk was very interesting and helpful. It was great that we were asked to present a business problem at the end, that is a really useful part of the event I feel." - Karin Whittaker, Karosa Jewellery

Feb -The Power of 'Z' with Berith Sandgren-Clark

"Thank you for organising today a truly inspirational and enjoyable meeting. I look forward to the next one and have no doubt that this group will grow from strength to strength." - Dawn Swinley, Mode de Vie

Mar - Super-charge your business with Jill Chitty

"Brilliant lunch and a fantastic group of ladies, left feeling inspired." - Jane Forey-Amante, Think Mortgage Options

Apr - How to Make 2013 Your Best Year Yet with Cathy Dean

"Lovely venue, great food. Nice group of women and a very good speaker. I loved the roses at the end, a really nice touch." - Wendy Clifford, Tripod IT

May - Women in Business Banking with Julie Powell

"I loved it so much the first time I'm going again for great networking, training and support. ." - Jill Chitty, Entrepreneurs Circle

More photos and comments here

What people are saying:

"Thank you Angela for a very informative training session. I came away very excited about the possibilities that social media offers our businesses but still so much to learn! " - Eileen Bermingham, Ellapure-Natural Skincare

"I recently attended a King's Daughters networking event and found it to be really friendly, supportive and mostly inspirational. It was lovely to meet fellow like minded women in business and to realise that we do not have to struggle by ourselves but can be encouraged and helped if we only ask." - Pia Cato, The Vanilla Pod Bakery

Watch more feedback here:

Being a Mother - Who is Available

2013-04-02T15:00:00.000+01:00

Mobile phones, computers, TV’s and so many other screens can give our children the impression that we are not available to them. Talking to them while looking at a screen of some sort will only send the wrong message to our precious children. They need eye contact. They need tender touch. They need our full, undivided attention.

And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. - Deuteronomy 6:6-7

God instructed the Israelites to teach the commandments to their children when they were at home, when they away from their home, when they went to bed and when they woke up in the morning. He was telling them to be available to their children morning, noon, and night! How many of us spend that much time with our children? More importantly, how many of spend that much time teaching our children God’s ways? Not only do we need to be available to our children but we also need to be teaching our children and instructing them in the things that matter.
How to play Angry Bird’s so that they can get to the next level may not be the best use of your time – they can learn that from anyone. However, perhaps you are the only person that will ever bother to take the time to teach them the things of God.

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. - Proverbs 22:6

Our responsibility is to train our children well so that it will keep them their entire life. A child taught well from a young age will lead a blessed and fruitful life until the day they are old. There is no point in just leaving your children to fend for themselves in spiritual matters but take good care of their breakfast, lunch and dinner. They won’t die if they miss a meal but they could die if they aren’t given spiritual food when they are little.

Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck. - Proverbs 1:8-9

It’s wonderful how this verse encourages children to listen to their father’s instruction and mother’s teaching and how it comes with a beautiful promise if they do heed it. However, how can a child hear something that has not been said or not forsake something that he has not been taught? We must take our role as a mother seriously and be available not only for hugs and kisses, playtime and fun but also to teach them the way should go in life. Here are some fun ideas to incorporate scriptures into your daily lives:

Memory Verses
Teach your children to memorise scripture so that when they need help in life they will know what to do. You can stick up verses on the bathroom mirror and even offer little incentives or rewards for remembering the verse. Teach them verses that are relevant to their life and teach them how to apply to verse to their life. Make up riddles, rhymes or songs with memory verses so that it’s fun for them. Children also love poetry, you can use memory verses or the meaning of verses to write beautiful poems with them.

Bible Games
Search the internet, there are plenty of games that use scriptures. If the Bible is fun when they are little then it will remain fun for them when they are older. Bible Man is a fantastic DVD series that teaches children the Bible and so are Max Lucado’s, Hermie and Friends DVD’s. There are many more great games and DVD’s out there for your children, they don’t have to be moulded by Hollywood, you do have a choice.

Bedtime Stories
Read the Bible to your children at bedtime or tell them the stories from memory so that you can say it the way that they best understand. Allow them to fill in the blanks at times making the story time interactive and encourage them to ask questions. Try not to be annoyed by interruptions to the stories but rather value their questions and see them as teaching opportunities.

Real Life
Whenever there is an opportunity, use real life to teach them. Apply to Bible to everyday, ordinary things. Show them how great God is by exploring creation together. Help them to understand that God is their provider at Christmas time rather than Santa. Help them to see how God’s instruction book is to help us have a great life and that it’s not a book of rules.

Your word I have hidden in my heart, That I might not sin against You. - Psalm 119:11

Find out more about Being a Mother here or use this material to host your own Girl's Night.

Fun April Fool's Press Release

2013-04-01T15:53:00.001+01:00

Business Men in Women’s Clothes

A local woman in business group has become so popular that business men are doing whatever it takes to find a way to sneak in. Eric De Souza, Director of Cheltenham School of Music, and international business man, Gerald Pattyn from Thomson Reuters were found dressing up to fit in.

King’s Daughters founded their Women in Business division in January of this year and already their events are proving to be very popular. Angela, the founder of King’s Daughters says, “Each event guarantees business growth tools, great food, networking, fun, laughter and a serious brain storming session called the Wonderbra session. We have held nothing back to create the most exclusive business network in Gloucestershire.”

Jane Forey-Amante of Think Mortgage Options said, “Brilliant lunch and a fantastic group of ladies, left feeling inspired.”

Despite the photo being a bit of tongue in cheek April fool’s day fun, Eric De Souza who has actually managed to sneak into a previous event says, “I was blown away by the excellence of the event, the calibre of women and the great time they seemed to be having. I learned about the importance of standardising your products and customising your services. My business has benefitted greatly since applying the gems that I learned at the King’s Daughters Women in Business event. If only there was an event like this for the men! ”.

Don't miss out - book into our next event now!

Nature's Way - Mascara

2013-03-28T10:00:00.000Z

Mascara has been used as far back as the ancient Egyptian era. Dating from around 3400-30 B.C., Egyptians used bone and ivory to apply their mascara. The very first recorded mascara was a blend of kohl with crocodile dung, water and honey. The Egyptians produced mascaras in the form of pressed cakes and it wasn't until the sixties that mascara applicator brushes were introduced. Even with questionable ingredients, the lure of long, sexy eye lashes has always been found beautiful and irresistible.
    Like all other chemical beauty products, mascara carries risks. Methylparaben, aluminum powder, ceteareth-20, butylparaben, or benzyl alcohol are often found in mascaras and some of these ingredients have been known to cause cancer in mice. Not all mascaras will be that dangerous but just the thought of putting those nasty chemicals that close to my eyes does make me worry a little.
     Other disadvantages are that chemical mascaras can be drying to eyelashes. Waterproof mascaras are particularly harmful as they contain a chemical called dimethicone copolyol that glues the mascara to your lashes. Beauty experts say they should not be used daily but rather for infrequent special occasions.
     Did you know you are supposed to throw your mascara away every three to six months to prevent bacteria to build up in your mascara?

Nature’s Way Alternatives
I use Castor Oil. You can use an old mascara applicator you’ve sterilised to apply or simply use your finger tip. Castor Oil keeps them moist and will promote growth resulted in thicker and longer eye lashes. There is no risk to your eyes except that Castor Oil is sticky so if you wear contact lenses apply the Castor Oil after putting your contact lenses in. Another great plus is that using Castor Oil will also cure eye styes and keep your eyes healthy. Rub or dab Castor Oil onto the infected area to treat styes. Also, rub some around your eye too before you go to bed you will eliminate fine lines around your eyes.

Results:

No harmful chemicals
Anti-ageing
Thicker, longer lashes and brows
No cancer risks
Save money

Cautions:

Don’t apply Castor Oil anywhere near your eyes before putting contact lenses into your eyes.
Rinse off Castor Oil from around your eyes in the morning if necessary to avoid having a sticky look and feel all day.

NATURE’S WAY MASCARA

Ingredients: Castor Oil

Method: Smooth onto your eye lashes or eye brows with your fingers, cotton bud or a sterilised applicator brush.

More mascara recipes:
There are many recipes available for homemade mascaras using natural ingredients, here are some:

Conditioning Mascara
Mix these ingredients together and apply.

1 tablespoon Castor Oil
1 tablespoon Aloe Vera Gel
2 tablespoons Vitamin E Oil

Charcoal Mascara
Mix food grade charcoal with your favourite oil or aloe.

1 activated charcoal capsule
4 tablespoons Castor Oil, Olive Oil, Coconut Oil or Aloe Vera Gel.

Now it's your turn.

If you have any mascara tips that work well, please share them with us. Find out more about Nature's Way here.

Being a Friend - Who is Humble

2013-03-26T12:44:00.001Z

Humility is not a weakness, it is a strength. A weak person does not have what it takes to humble themselves, it truly requires great strength to put your pride in your pocket and make yourself appear lower. The dictionary defines humility as modesty or meekness and the antonym is arrogance. True humility however, isn’t lowering yourself for the sake of keeping up appearances, but it is to do so for the sake of serving others. If you are humble it doesn’t mean that you have a low opinion of yourself but rather than you choose to lower yourself.

Humility in the Bible comes from the Greek word tapeinoo which means to depress; figuratively, to humiliate in condition or heart. Jesus used this word when He told us that whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven . You see, Jesus wasn’t telling us to behave like a child but rather that we should have the heart attitude of a child. That we should believe as easily as a child does. That we should trust as easily as a child does and that we should live as simply as a child does. I am sure there is much more to that verse but in a nutshell that is what He is saying. It is when we humble our hearts as a little child that we can truly see things as they really are and understand kingdom principles.

Humility isn’t about thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.

- C.S. Lewis

Jesus also told us that whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted . Humbling yourself is a win/win situation whereas pride only leads to sure destruction. It’s not worth holding onto pride but it is always worth being humble. Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. Some people seem naturally humble and never seen to need to work on it at all but other’s need to work hard at the character flaws that prevent them from being humble. I can assure you that none of us are born humble, we are all born sinners. However, some of us do have disadvantages that cause pride to grow and other’s are raised in such a way that humility is encouraged to grow. Let’s take a look at some of the causes and cures for pride (the opposite of humility):

Cause:

Poor upbringing sadly means that some children are taught that what is wrong is right. Many suffer with poor character as adults because they were not raised with God’s word as the standard for their life.

Cure:

Renew your mind because no matter what your upbringing, you can always choose to change your mind. It’s never too late to learn God’s ways. As we study His words in the Bible we will find true humility. When we realise what He has done for us, we will find it easier and easier to humble ourselves before God and before mankind.

Cause:

Insecurity stems from all sorts of things and everyone suffers with some sort of insecurity and varying degrees of insecurity. An insecure person is usually uses pride or arrogance to mask their insecurity. Some insecure people seem humble but they are actually broken and weak. Both forms of insecurity are not healthy.

Cure:

Security comes from knowing and fully embracing who you are in Christ. For by one offering He has perfected forever those who are being sanctified. No matter what the cause of insecurity, through Jesus death on the cross and through His resurrection, we can all find freedom and security in every area of life.

Cause:

Satan is the originator of pride and all evil which means that many of us are deceived into pride, even spiritual pride, by him. He is sneaky and too often we don’t even realise that he is influencing us.

Cure:

Submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Staying ‘in touch’ with God will free you from any of Satan’s plans for your life.

Cause:

Rebellion can be towards God but it can also be more subtle than that. It could be attitude towards an employer, the government or your husband. Rebellion is as witchcraft the Bible says , which is a frightening thought!

Cure:

Choose to submit to any and all authority in your life. It’s a simple choice that you make and this choice will transform you. Submission is a form of humility and we are told over and over again how important this is in the Bible.

There is so much more that can cause and cure pride so ask God to highlight your problem areas to you so you can grow in humility. So what has being humble got to do with being a friend? Everything! A humble friend will serve a friend well. A humble friend will think of their friend more highly than themselves. A humble friend will draw the best out of their friends. As we said in the previous session, humility and wisdom are very closely linked and we know that he who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm. We need to be wise, humble friends and we need to have wise, humble friends. You cannot choose your family but you can choose your friends so choose wisely. Most importantly, ask God to help you be a truly humble person so that you can serve your friends well.

Find out more about Being a Friend here or about using our material to host your own Girl's Night here.

Congratulations Samuel and Lorah Beard

2013-03-23T13:12:00.000Z

Yesterday, 22nd March 2013, was one of the most amazing days of my entire life. My beautiful, first born daughter, Lorah-Kelly, united forces with a wonderful man, Samuel Beard. As individuals they were fantastic people but now, as one, I know that they will be even more powerful in love and life.

Above is another one of Charlie's stunning photos from Samauel and Lorah's engagement shoot. Here are some phone camera photos to give you a glimpse into our day before the professional photos come back from CKB Photography.

Lorah ready to leave home and go to meet her man at the altar

Toasting with Sameul and Lorah

Congratulations Mr and Mrs Beard

The beautiful wedding venue - Overfarm Barn

There is so much more to say and lots more photos to come, I hope you have enjoyed a little sneak peak into a very special part of my life :) xxx