King's Daughters

Ascent from Darkness

2012-05-27T16:02:00.001+01:00

A life of difficulty and disappointment set 33-year old Michael Leehan up for the worst decision of his life—to make a deal with the Devil to follow and serve him. Practicing the dark arts that include ritualistic cuttings and blood sacrifices, while fine tuning his manipulation and control skills, Michael launched into a twenty year downward spiral that included job loss and detachment from loved ones, and even jail time.

But God had another plan that included a group of Christian men to love him and pray for him—even when it became evident his assignment from Satan was to kill their pastor, Craig Groeschel.

At first I was sceptical and didn't buy into the whole Satanist thing as it seemed too stereotypical with the usual burning of candles at the tips of a pentagram, killing cats and reading the book of shadows. Perhaps many of us including myself are desensitised by TV programs such as Charmed, which I watched a lot of in my youth. BUT, it wasn't long before I was gripped by Michael's story and could not put the book down. What shocked me most was how the devil has church and Christians all figured out. We seem easy prey, we seem weak and we seem slack in our devotion to our God.

I highly recommend this book to all Christians as it will shock you out of any form of complacency in your walk with God. This book was such an eye opener that I even used it in a sermon the day after reading it. I had a sense of urgency and did not want the church to walk in ignorance for one minute longer than they had to. You can listen to the sermon I preached here - Session 4, The Dark Side or buy the book from Amazon.

Nature's Way - Hair Colouring

2012-05-24T12:21:00.000+01:00

Good news for those of you living in the EU but sadly bad news for my USA friends. Europe is well ahead of the USA in its responses to potentially dangerous chemicals in health and beauty products. On 1st December 2007 a ban was imposed on 22 hair dye substances issued by the European Commission. These ingredients had been linked to bladder cancer in a 2001 University of Southern California study. Günter Verheugen, the European Commission Vice-President, said, "Substances for which there is no proof that they are safe will disappear from the market. Our high safety standards do not only protect EU consumers, they also give legal certainty to the European cosmetics industry." The USA however, has not required manufacturers to file data on ingredients or report cosmetic-related injuries. If you wish to find the exact 22 ingredients do an Internet search for ‘Europe Bans 22 Hair Dye Chemicals’ The most dangerous hair dye ingredients are the Arylamines chemicals. One of these is called Phenylenediamine (PPD) and is present in about seventy five percent of chemical hair dyes including non-permanent ‘natural’ products. It is known to be toxic to the immune system, skin, nervous system, respiratory system, liver and kidneys.

Despite the fact that many hair dyes are extremely toxic many companies get away with using them by providing a warning on the box. Their warning states that you should not allow their hair dye to come into contact with the skin and because of this warning they can justify using the chemicals that they do. Sadly, as you may already know, you cannot avoid all contact with your skin. It either gets onto your hands somehow or most certainly touches your scalp in places. Once it has contact with the skin it is absorbed into your blood stream and released into your body.

Laboratory experiments have shown that PPD damages the DNA of human cells and of course accumulated DNA damage leads to cancer. These harmful chemicals are not only found in home hair dye kits but can also be found in salon dyes. It’s essential to talk to your hair dresser and find out what ingredients are in the products they use. Many have died from ignorance. That is extreme but true but even if you don’t get cancer you still risk losing your hair as many people have reported hair thinning and hair loss as a result of the chemicals in hair dyes. The following table shows the health concerns based on commonly used hair dye.

Nature’s Way Alternatives

Dark Hair
Henna is the best way to colour darker hair. Henna has been used for thousands of years and traces have even been found on the hair and beards of ancient Egyptian mummies. Henna acts like a hair varnish that coats the outside of your hair, protecting and coating the cuticle. The results are natural colours and a stunning shine. Either buy Henna in its pure leaf form or get a Henna block which also contains cocoa butter from Lush. The thing I like most about Henna is that it works with the natural colour of each strand of your hair. This means that you don’t get only one shade in your hair which tends to look very unnatural but a gorgeous natural looking head of hair.

Results:
•    Conditioned hair
•    Natural shine
•    Damage protection
•    Stronger hair
•    Reduction of dandruff
•    No harmful chemicals

Cautions:
•   In rare cases Henna has been known to turn hair green but there is a simple remedy – Henna over the top to build up a rich, not green, colour.
•   Ensure you buy 100% natural Henna and not Henna with additives and this would completely defeat the purpose of using Henna in the first place.
•   Do a strand test first by colouring only a few strands to see if you get the desired result.

NATURE’S WAY DARK HAIR COLOUR

Ingredients: Henna

Method: Mix powder with water into a paste and apply to clean dry hair. Protect your forehead from staining by rubbing some oil into your hairline before applying the Henna. Separate your hair into small sections and apply Henna from root to tip. Cover your hair for a more red shade and leave uncovered for a brown tone. Leave in for minimum one hour, for best results leave in for four hours. Rinse really well and then wash as usual.

Usually detailed instructions accompany the Henna powder or the Henna blocks from Lush.

Light Hair:
Sunshine and lemon juice is the best ways to lighten hair. Lemon juice contains high concentration of nourishing elements like vitamin C, vitamin B, and phosphorous along with antioxidant properties. A sensible amount of sun is also very good for you as the sun produces Vitamin D in your body.

NATURE’S WAY LIGHT HAIR COLOUR

Ingredients: Lemon Juice and Sun

Method: To use lemon juice and the sun mix the juice of 1 fresh lemon with 8 tablespoons of water and rub it in to your dry hair. Leave in your hair for four hours and then rinse. To speed up the process lie in the sun. Cover your body with cloth and spread your hair out to absorb the rays.

Now it's your turn.

If you have any hair colouring tips that work well, please share them with us. Find out more about Nature's Way here.

King's Daughters Live Video

2012-05-22T22:55:00.001+01:00

Welcome to a brand new section on my blog for video posts. I am both nervous and excited about this as videos are a lot less safe that written posts. Never-the-less, I will feel the fear and do it anyway in the hope that somehow this will further the kingdom. Below is my very first video from a Girl's Night that we held in Ross-on-Wye, UK last week. Subscribe to King's Daughters on our new Youtube page. Before you watch, please don't be too critical and have mercy on me as this is only a humble, small begining with lots of room for growth :)

World Wide News

2012-05-18T10:26:00.001+01:00

This past week has been incredible and I have so much fantastic news to share with you. Last night we had a Girl's Night in Ross-on-Wye, on Tuesday The Tale of a Church Planter was represented in USA but to start off with I am going to share the most awesome news... on 12th May 2012, King's Daughters went international with the launch of King's Daughters Uganda. I could not possible edit the beautiful email Caroline sent me so without further ado, read what Caroline had to say about the day.
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King's Daughters Uganda

King's Daughters Uganda was launched on 12th May 2012 in Kampala Uganda. We exist for the purpose of reaching to all women of all walks of life with the gospel of Jesus Christ by encouraging them who go through challenges in their marriages by trying to provide scriptural solutions. We also want to teach our young girls on how to live godly lives because they are the mothers of tomorrow.

It was a humbling moment for me personally when the invited women began to stream in one by one with excitement written all over their faces. We began with a word of prayer, then praise and worship. I then introduced the vision and purpose of King's Daughters Uganda. We then shared the Word and later had an open discussion.

All the participants were in agreement that such an idea should be carried on as rarely do we have such person to person encouragement. Most of them accepted that they are going through turbulent times in their marriages. There exists conflicts with their husbands and what exactly is the role of women and mother taking into consideration the cultural set-up of African societies. Consequently, we are embarking on exploring solutions for these problems and try to provide sufficient scriptural backing for African woman.

We shared a meal that was provided by our family. And as expected of an African mother, they never left their children behind. It was all joyful as we ate and reflected on the future of King's daughters Uganda.

The most interesting bit was concerning the lady photographer we hired to take photographs. She is a Muslim and we did not know about this previously. In fact it was my husband who invited her to the occasion with a sole reason of taking photos. As she was going about her work, interestingly she was keenly following the proceedings. At the end of the event, she humbly asked us "How can i be involved in this given the fact that am a Muslim?" She says that she has never heard the teachings and ideas raised in her religion. She immediately registered her name and wants to be involved in the next meeting. She is a young lady aged 21 yrs. We intend to encourage her to join the young girls fellowship when we start our group meetings on 3rd June 2012. Kindly pray for her as we believe God for her salvation.

Also pray for us to continue the momentum and continued God's provision.

We thank you Angela for your prayers and moral support. We are counting in you for your Spiritual guidance, advise and direction.

Blessings

Caroline Emmy Mwawasi

King's Daughters Uganda are currently studying the Being a Wife series. If you want to start a King's Daughters group please get in touch, we provide all the material and as much support as possible. See more photos of the Uganda launch here.
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King's Daughters in USA

On Tuesday I had the privilege of being interviewed by Missio Nexus, USA. They have picked up my book, The Tale of a Church Planter, and not only reviewed it and endorsed it but have also used it as teaching material for a Church Planting class of 30 graduate students. Since I wasn't able to be interviewed in person we set up a studio in my home and did the interview live through the Internet. Isn't technology amazing. More news will follow when the interview is posted on their website but in the meantime enjoy some photos of our little home studio taken by Lorah Kelly.

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King's Daughters in Ross-on-Wye

Last night we had a fantastic evening together with the ladies from Ross-on-Wye. We enjoyed an African buffet cooked by Angela Olelo along with Cythia. D7 Band did a stunning acoustic worship set and I shared a message about leaving your past behind and getting on with the future and hope that God has for you. This was based on my Loving Life Series of books where I shared how God had taken the dirt from my life and turned it into a beautiful diamond.

We successfully raised funds for Amos' education and Cynthia was thrilled to report that he is back in school with another terms fees paid up. The highlight of the evening was the precious moment during the altar call where new birth took place. I never stop being in awe when I see a hand raised to say yes to Jesus. Praise God for new life!

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Keep up to date with World Wide News subscribe by email on the top right of this page. Why not join King's Daughters on Facebook, find your page below, or contact me to find out about starting your own King's Daughters group or Facebook page.

Have a lovely day and I look forward to sharing more World Wide News with you soon.

Love
Angela
x

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Being a Friend - Who Lays Down Their Life

2012-05-14T16:15:00.001+01:00

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. - John 15:13

These are the words of Jesus on friendships. How can He expect so much of us? Well, the preceding verse can give us a clue. In John 15:12 Jesus says, “This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” Jesus is only asking us to do what He has already done. He has led the way and set the ultimate example for us.

It seems like a tall order doesn’t it? Jesus knew what was coming though. He knew how cold and heartless people would get. He knew that if He didn’t give us some guidelines that we would lose the plot. He probably predicted that we would become selfish and that we would get so busy that we would have little time for friendships. In Matthew 24:10-12 Jesus says of the end times that, “many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another. Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold.”

We need to resist being caught up in the lifestyle of many and determine to do what is right rather than go with the flow. Few people value true friendship and most people will not lay down their life for a friend. If things get too demanding or too difficult most people simply move on to another friend. However, Jesus said not to do so. He told us clearly to love one another and to lay down our life for our friends. That means that when things get tough we stand by each other. We support each other even if it hurts. At times we might be annoyed or become irritable with our friends and their little habits. We should endure these things and determine to stick by them even when difficult things pop up.

Being a friend and having a friend needs to become valuable to us. In our modern culture we have become accustomed to quick, easy and disposable. Sadly, many of us view people this way too. If there is no quick fix we are not interested. If the relationship requires work and is not easy we give up. If we can’t be bothered, we simply dispose of our friendship and pick up another one.

To be a friend is to lay down our life for our friends.

Find out more about Being a Friend here or about using our material to host your own Girl's Night here.

Sin

2012-05-10T18:20:00.000+01:00

Over the past few weeks it has been on my heart to speak to our church about SIN - again (do you remember the last time?). I can't say that I was very excited at first to bring this message and I knew that I would not be anyone's favourite preacher afterwards! But as the days went by the conviction grew and so I did preach on sin last Sunday and will do so again this coming Sunday.

It grieves me that there is little difference between the church and the world these days. That the divorce rate is just as high in the church as it is in the world and that things like pornography, homosexuality, materialism, gossip and other such things are commonly found in the lives of 'mature' Christians. Mostly, it breaks my heart that so many pastors are 'falling' into sin these days too.

So what is the answer? How can the church become a holy place again where God is respected and feared? I don't have the answer but I do know that if we continue to tolerate sin in our lives as we do we will lose all that God has planned for us. Far worse than that, many will not be saved because their will not see see the light that we should be shining because we are too entrenched in darkness.

I believe God wants to purge His church. I believe He wants to purify her so that Jesus can return to earth to fetch His beautiful bride. I believe that we need to take sin inside the church seriously and stop playing with 'fire'. How can we reach out to the lost, to the sinners, to those that are walking around blind if we are still blind? It's time to grow up church, it's time to stop playing with pooh and it's time to deal with our sin.

Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ - Philippians 3:8

Are we still passionate about Jesus or is He only in our life when it's convenient and benefits us? Do we read the Bible because we are desperate to know Him or are we looking for verses that we can use to make our life more comfortable and more blessed? What does Christianity mean to you these days? Are you deeply in love with Jesus, so much so that you count everything else as rubbish?

‘Thus says the Lord of hosts: “Return to Me,” says the Lord of hosts, “and I will return to you,” - Zechariah 1:3

I don't mean to be heavy but my heart is heavy and I believe it is with the burden that is on God's heart. He wants His beautiful children to return to Him with all of their heart, soul, strength and mind. He is a jealous God and is desperate to be loved by us but we can't love Him if we are loving other things first. Count everything as rubbish - absolutely everything - so that you may gain Christ.

Listen to the five part series here:

A Beautiful Bride
Confessions
Kill or Be Killed
The Dark Side... Coming 27 May
Press On... Coming3 June

Being a Friend - Who is a Friend

2012-05-08T11:15:00.002+01:00

To have a friend you need to be a friend first.
Being a friend is the essential ingredient in any friendship. I have never met a friendly lonely person. It just doesn’t exist. If you are sowing friendship then it stands to reason that you will reap friendship. Sadly, I have met many lonely people and in most cases I have found that they have a very selfish attitude in the area of friendships. These people tend to expect other people to want to be their friends and they complain when no one seems to bother trying to be their friend. I have heard on many occasion the complaints of this sort of person. They will say things like,
    “No one came to speak to me today at church!”
    To which I respond,
    “Who did you go to speak to today at church?”
    They could even complain that no one speaks to them at work or at their child’s mothers group. This example applies to any setting. Do you go up to people and speak to them or do you wait for people to come up to you first?
Or they will say,
    “No one ever phones me to see how I am!”
    To which I respond,
    “Who have you called this week?”
    Or perhaps their complain will be,
    “No one seems to care about me or even notice that I exist.”
    To which I respond,
    “Who are you noticing in your world, who do you care about?”

I could go on but I am sure you are getting the picture. Listen to yourself and to your complaints. What is coming out of your mouth? What are your desires? Are you sowing what you hope to reap? Remember, to have a friend you need to be a friend first.

It has been said that a sorrow shared is halved, but a joy shared is doubled. Proverbs 27:10a says, “Do not forsake your friend or a friend of your family” because you may need that friend in times of trouble. Consider your own life, who do you feel free to run to in times of trouble? Who do you share your joy with? Are you being a good friend to your friends and friends of your family or do you only call on them in times of trouble? A sure way to know if you are being a good friend is to consider how many people come to you with their joys and sorrows. Do people feel free to come to you and share these things with you? To be a friend means that you not only have someone to go to but that you are also available for people to come to when they need a friend.

Friendships are one of the most important things in a life. Their worth is not diminished by time, not devalued by inflation, not worn out by use, but like a fine wine, they improve over the years. Start investing in being a friend today, don’t wait until crisis hits to realise that you have no real friends.

Decide today that you will be a friend to others and then intentionally go out of your way to offer your friendship by being a friend first. You never know, there may be some lovely people are in your world that you never noticed before. They might even turn out to be your best friend!

Find out more about Being a Friend here or about using our material to host your own Girl's Night here.

Momaholic

2012-05-05T10:01:00.002+01:00

Momaholic is not quite what I expected. Perhaps it was the cover that lead me to believe it was a comedy. It is anything but a comedy. This is a story showing the speed with which a “normal” family can fall apart. No one dies. No one gets kidnapped. They just have to deal with each of their own issues….and then one unwanted and unplanned pregnancy. This was a church-going family whose kids were taught abstinence until marriage. With the family running around as the tornado sirens roared warnings to take cover, mother, Miss Drama, becomes the biggest mess of all and ends up finding a whole new freedom for her soul.

Many times I found myself nodding in agreement with Dena and then crying from understanding her pain. Life can throw some difficult things at us and Dena surely had her fair share. This book is a beautiful story of a courageous woman who tries to find and keep the the balance in her life.
Dena's writing style is very conversational which makes this book a quick read. I see it as her story more than a 'how to' book as she doesn't actually offer any keys to finding and keeping the balance in life. Thank you to Thomas Nelson for providing me with Momaholic for review. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Being a Friend - The 5 Stages of Friendship

2012-05-04T13:26:00.000+01:00

Small Talk

All relationships have a starting point and usually friendships start with small talk. You meet a new person and then you get chatting about the weather or if you have children you chat about the latest cute thing that your child is doing. From there you might delve deeper onto more personal small talk or you might stay in a safe zone and talk about the weather for as long as possible. Small talk is great for gathering information about another person so you can begin to get to know them. That first chat is often when we learn the other person’s name, find out about their job, interests, where they live and whether or not she is married or has any children. It’s is important to strike a balance between expressing an interest in their life and not seeming plain nosey. People are usually more than happy to talk about themselves. Staying in the small talk stage means that this person is someone that you know in passing. You interact with them occasionally or even regular basis, but you never progress past small talk. A personal relationship cannot be developed at this stage and to progress the friendship you will need to move the relationship outside of the event that brought you together in the first place. To move forward from this stage visit with her one on one or be more intentional in your next conversation.

Coffee

You have agreed to meet up again after one or more small talk meetings. This stage is when you go a little deeper and step out of the safe zone of small talk. You ask her questions about personal things and she asks you more about your life. It is here when you begin to connect possibly over a nice cup of coffee together. As you spend more and more time together you being to forge a bond of friendship but this stage is still too soon for things such as sharing deep opinions and asking advice. It is here that you either hit it off or pull back. Coffee friendships are great for a night out or for doing fun stuff with. They don’t need to go any deeper but still serve a purpose in your life. You can easily have a large circle of 'coffee' friends in your life and it is a good idea to keep several of these sorts of friendships alive. To move a friendship forward from the stage you will need to go deeper into real life issues.

Life

Life friends are the ones that you discuss real life issues with and who you go to if you need advice. You will do everyday ordinary life things with these friends without feeling self conscious such as putting on a load of laundry during a conversation or asking her for help with the dishes after dinner. You friendship is real and you feel comfortable being yourself around her knowing that she won’t judge you and you won’t judge her. You are not concerned about her opinion of you as you know she likes you for who you are in the same way that you like her for who she is. A certain level of trust has developed and you value her opinion in important matters. You would consider her part of your inner circle and are comfortable with her being close to your family. These are people who know quite a bit about your life, and have likely been through a few ups and downs with you. Life friends are generally those you see and talk to most often.

Conflict

For a friendship to truly mature it needs to face conflict. As with all things in life, nothing is valuable unless it has been tested and proven valuable. Conflict is the stage of a friendship that does just this, it tests and proves the friendship. Sadly not all friendships survive conflict but those that do will be friendships for life. They will be your strongest and deepest friendships. It is in the conflict stage where you honestly confront your friend about something that is bugging you or equally where you have to receive some sort of rebuke or confrontation about something from your friend. The Bible say, ‘Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.’ Superficial friends will flatter you and tell you what you want to hear but a truly good friend will say what needs to be said even if it might hurt. Conflict is never easy or pleasant but it is a necessary stage of friendship. To progress your friendships from conflict ensure that you truly hear what they have to say. Don’t be offended. Don’t retaliate. Only receive their friendship and their love and allow your friendship to grow through conflict. If ever your friend makes a mistake and says something hurtful in error, chose to forgive in the same way you would like to be forgiven when you make a mistake too. This will only mature your friendship and take it to the next level.

Best Friends

She is a woman who has travelled with you into the final stage of friendship and has become your best friend. Few ever make it to this stage but those that do will be your friend for life. Time and distance will not change a thing, a best friend remains a best friends and this friendship needs to be cherished, valued and nurtured. A best friend completely and utterly gets you. You can say or do the wrong thing but a best friend will know the true you and not even notice your error or moment of stupidity. Best friends feel like family because they are there for us during the most important moments of our life. A best friend brings out the best in you and is your cheerleader in life. They celebrate your success with you without any jealousy and cry with you in your times of sadness or mourning. In the same way, you need to be someone else’s best friend by loving them as you wish to be loved and by being there for them as you need someone to be there for you. A sure way to damage a best friend relationship is to always take and seldom give. Enjoy your best friends and make sure you are being a best friend too.

Find out more about Being a Friend here or about using our material to host your own Girl's Night here.

Book Giveaway

2012-05-04T13:07:00.000+01:00

Yay it's giveaway time.
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Christian and Arabella

2012-04-29T20:57:00.002+01:00

Love stronger than anything imaginable

A love that was doomed from the start. They were from two different worlds. Christian would do anything to win Arabella's heart but most of his attempts were intercepted by some very nasty men and by life itself.
Arabella seemed on a downward spiral and life for her was filled with one heart ache after another. Christian never lost hope and never stopped loving her to the point that it would cost him everything.
If ever there was a tale of true romance and the power of one man's love, this is it.

Coming soon on: Amazon.com | Amazon.co.uk | Kindle

Sample Chapter One

It was just noon that Sunday as Christian wept over her bleeding, lifeless body. Tears flowed shamelessly down his cheeks as he gazed at what was once such a beautiful face, now hidden beneath last night’s smudged make-up. She was covered with fresh blood and bruises. Some bruises were old and healing with a yellow ring around them. Other bruises were new, they had that ‘fresh kicked’ red appearance to them and would soon come up in a deep purple stain. Once the initial shock of seeing her beat up state subsided, Christian, using great care, placed his left arm underneath her waist and used his right arm to pull her towards himself. He lifted her up and held her close to his chest, still sobbing but focused on the task at hand, which was to get her to the nearest hospital.

‘Oh God!’ he called out in a whisper. ‘Please don’t let her die, there is still hope for her.’

He walked and prayed while holding her lifeless body with as much care as possible. After five minutes of carrying her and worrying about her, he spotted a wooden road side bench ahead and set that as his target for a short rest. Christian was in good physical shape, but carrying her was tiring. When he reached the wooden bench he sat down and gasped for air until he caught his breath.

I don’t know if I can do this, he thought to himself as he began to move her into a more comfortable position.

His touch was loving and tender.

He tried to get her arms to wrap around his neck in the hope that this would make carrying her easier, but they would not stay, so he left them to flop down and dangle by his side. Time still concerned Christian and he wondered if it would have been quicker to call an ambulance. The target response time for a London ambulance is eight minutes but Christian knew that this seldom happened. A realistic response time was twenty to thirty minutes and that was only if an ambulance was available right away. It was too risky. Deciding against it, he placed her back into a cradled position in his arms and stood up to continue his journey to the hospital. He decided to speed up his walk even though he was beginning to find breathing difficult and his lungs were beginning to burn. Desperately pleading with God for her life, Christian walked until he could walk no more and was forced to take another short break. As he sat down gasping for a breath he considered how strange it was that not one passerby or driver had even noticed that he was carrying an wounded woman. Even when he crossed the street at the traffic lights he seemed invisible to all.

It’s sad to see how cold people have become these days, he thought to himself, or perhaps they choose to be blind.

One final stretch of road remained and Christian decided to push himself to walk as fast as possible until he reached the hospital. His muscles began to ache as they reached their limits. It was only a fifteen minute walk from where he had found her to the hospital but it seemed like hours had passed.

Christian knew that she had been working three nights a week at Sins Gentlemen’s Club in Brixton and tried as often as possible to be in the area when she left work so that he could watch her get home safe and sound. She was oblivious to this but he felt much better knowing that she got home all right, even though it meant that he had to wake up early to be there when she left work after the club closed at 5am. Sadly, on this cold and frosty London morning, he arrived too late. For some reason she had left work earlier than usual and Christian left Sin’s rather concerned. As he walked down Coldharbour Lane wondering why she had left early, he noticed a heap of someone lying on the grass verge opposite EM’s Fish and Chips shop. At first he thought it was just another drunk passed out after a night of clubbing. When he realised that it was a woman and that there was something very familiar about her, he crossed over the road to take a closer look. Gasping, he realised that it was her. He ran to where she lay. It was then that he discovered her lying under a tree in a state of near death.

Christian snapped out of his desperate pleading with God as soon as the bright yellow ambulances and large red AMBULANCE ENTRANCE sign came into view. Relieved that the walk was over at last, he headed towards the Accident and Emergency entrance of the hospital. As he approached the double doors, he turned around and walked in with his back to the door, so that he didn’t hurt her whilst trying to open them. Right away he got busy with plotting a course, the shortest route to help. It was a busy morning in the Accident and Emergency foyer which is typical as it is one of the busiest Accident and Emergency departments in the country. As Christian walked into the bustling room he noticed many bright blue curtains that divided the beds, most of which were occupied. He caught a whiff of the distinctive hospital odour along with what smelled like a mixture of alcohol, urine and vomit. A gurney was being wheeled in from an ambulance and another passed by in haste then disappeared behind a curtained off area.

Ambulance drivers, in their high visibility yellow jackets, were rushing in and out of the emergency room along with paramedics in their bright orange overalls. Nurses in blue uniforms with green, plastic aprons and doctors in their white coats were either busy with paperwork or with patients. No one seemed to even notice he had arrived. People bumped into him, doctors walked right past him and almost knocked him off his feet. Amidst all this chaos Christian tried to locate a registration desk. In the corner he noticed several chairs with injured people waiting and others sitting with their heads tilted either forwards, backwards or sideways as they slept.

Relieved, he spotted what looked like the registration desk and raced over to approach the clerk. She was facing away from the window, laughing out loud in a conversation with one of her colleagues, while filing her fingernails. She noticed Christian approaching out of the corner of her eye and swung around in her chair in an attempt to look more professional. As she turned to see Christian her smile dropped into a look of horror.

‘Get a gurney,’ she yelled at the colleague she had been joking around with earlier.

Within seconds a gurney appeared. Christian rolled her from his body onto the gurney. Once again he noticed her very disfigured face and the sight of her upset him.

‘What happened?’ asked the registration clerk, whose name was Sally according to the pin on her uniform.

‘I don’t know,’ said Christian as he regained his breath, ‘I found her like this on a grass verge on Coldharbour Lane.

‘Are you family or a friend?’ Sally asked.

‘No’ he replied with a lump in his throat.

Christian noticed that Sally assumed he was only a passerby and knew nothing about her. She walked over to her computer and began a great deal of clicking her long nails on the keyboard. She booked her in as Jane Doe while the triage nurse rushed over to determine the severity of her condition. Within seconds she whisked her off behind a blue curtain to be scanned and have her injuries assessed. It was obvious that Sally was left wondering why a total stranger, one clearly of breeding and class, would go to the trouble of bringing this sort of woman in.

Christian was still in shocked by what he had seen and mentioned to Sally that he was going to find a chair and sit down.

‘Can you let me know what happens?’ He asked as his eyes scanned the room for an empty chair.

He found a reasonably padded, grey chair and lay his head back while he contemplated the situation. His heart was grieved at what had become of her. As he rest his head on the hospital chair he began to reminisce about the time they first met, many years ago, when he was only seventeen...

It was love at first sight. He caught a glimpse of her long, dark brown hair glistening in the sunshine as she stood in her white, opaque trousers that revealed her slender figure. She wore a pretty pale pink t-shirt and was holding a cardboard box that was without a doubt too heavy for her to carry. A dirty, grey, moving van pulled up in front of Christian and interrupted his line of sight but only for a few seconds. The moving van continued a little further up the road and allowed him to see her once again. He stood mesmerised by her. She took his breath away. He realised he was staring when she turned around and gave him a rather quizzical look.

‘Hello’ she said

‘Hi’ he replied with a bashful look on his face, ‘welcome to the neighbourhood.’

Christian was at a loss for words and though it best to continue walking, as he risked standing in front of her and making a fool of himself.

‘Thank you’ she shouted after him as he walked off into the beautiful, hot summer’s evening.

Christian lifted his hand to acknowledge her shout but continued to face forward to hide his blushing cheeks. He had never felt that way before, ever, in all the years of his short life. He knew she was something quite special and without a doubt planned to walk that way home again. Christian passed that way, down Bedford Gardens in Bayswater, most days, on his way to the Campden Hill Lawn Tennis Club where he took tennis lessons. It was either down that street or he also quite like to walk down Sheffield Terrace, but since laying his eye upon her he was quite certain that there would never be a reason to walk down Sheffield Terrace again! He was quite taken with her and was certain that he had to find a way to see her again, even if it was just for a moment or simply in passing.

I will definitely be more prepared next time, Christian thought to himself. I will plan a few things to say ahead of time so that I am not at a loss for words and I will not run off like that again. What was I thinking?

Christian thought as he scolded himself for being such a coward and determined to be more prepared for their next encounter. Tennis no longer seemed like such a chore, now it was his one and only reason to take a slow, daily stroll down Bedford Gardens. He was sure she would not think anything suspicious as he had his tennis clothes on and carried his racquet which made it obvious that he was heading for the tennis courts that were nearby.

After arriving home and after a quick shower he got stuck into his homework. Usually he was very focused on his school work but this evening was different. It was her, he couldn’t get her out of his mind. Concentrating was proving to be extremely difficult. After several failed attempts at solving an algebra problem he gave up and moved onto his science homework. His attempt to distract himself failed so he gave up and walked downstairs to the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and rummaged around for some food. Nothing seemed to appeal to him so he pushed down the intercom button that connected to his mother’s study and asked at the top of his voice, “Mum, what’s for dinner?”

“Miss Lotty made you a fish pie, it is in the oven. Your father and I will not be joining you for dinner son as we have that charity ball tonight.”

“Oh yes I forgot about that. I hope it goes well. See you tomorrow then.”

Christian poured himself some cold apple juice and walked outside. It was still a bright sunny evening so he sat down on the lawn and continued to think about her. He sat outside for quite some time and then returned to the kitchen. Christian ate his dinner, alone and halfhearted, and then went to his bedroom to read a book. His eyes became droopy within the first chapter so he put the book down onto his night stand and closed his eyes to sleep. As he closed his eyes he thought of her again.

She is so beautiful, he thought to himself as he drifted off to sleep.

Weeks passed by. Weeks turned into months and the autumn leaves began to mark the end of summer. Life carried on for Christian but he thought of her often. He made a point of walking down her street whenever he could. On the days that he saw her sitting in her bedroom bay window he felt that his day was complete. On the days that he didn’t manage to see her at all he felt empty inside. It was as if the purpose of every one of Christian’s day was to see her. This purpose was what he lived for. He loved to look at her. He imagined what she was thinking when she sat on her bench in the her bedroom bay window. He noticed that pink and white were her favourite colour clothes to wear and that she loved to catch the afternoon sun from her bedroom window. He also noticed that she had a grey kitten and that she enjoyed reading and writing in her little book with a pink pen that had a fluffy ball dangling from it. He also noticed something else about her. She seldom smiled. Sadness seemed to be her constant companion. Christian wondered why.

Once again, as always, he decided to take a stroll past her home on his way to the tennis club. This day was different however. It was on this day that he got to see her sitting in her window once again.

They made eye contact.

Christian’s heart thumped inside his chest. He was convinced that it was pounding loud enough for her to hear it! They gazed at each other for a full six seconds. But for Christian it felt like an eternity. With great reluctance, he broke their gaze and continued his walk home. Not because he wanted to but because he didn’t know what else to do. Christian felt like he was walking on clouds. Time after time in the past he had gazed into her bedroom window but this was the first time ever, that she had noticed him. Magic was in the air. He was elated with feelings that he never knew existed. Without realizing it, he had walked down several streets that he didn’t usually walk down. His daydreaming lead him on an unfamiliar path. He was in seventh heaven and paid no attention to where his legs were taking him. He snapped out of his unconscious state and back into reality when he realised that he had walked into the park and completely forgotten about his tennis lesson.

It was then that he saw her sitting on the swing smiling. She must have left her home and headed to the park right after he saw her sitting in her bedroom. Her hair was glistening in the sun. Was this the moment he had been waiting for all these months? Should he go and talk to her or should he turn around and walk away. Was he the cause of her smile, he wondered. If not, he didn’t want to intrude on whatever was making her so happy. He knew that if he walked away he might never get this opportunity again. Before he managed to make a thorough logical decision he found himself walking up to her.

“Hi,” he said, “my name is Christian.”

“I’m Arabella,” she said shyly

He Restores My Soul - Fasting

2012-04-26T19:12:00.000+01:00

“Moreover, when you fast, do not be like the hypocrites, with a sad countenance. For they disfigure their faces that they may appear to men to be fasting. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that you do not appear to men to be fasting, but to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.”

- Jesus, Matthew 6 : 16-18

Jesus gave us instructions on fasting based on the assumption that fasting would be part of our lifestyle. Christians who don’t believe in fasting are like car owners not believing in having their cars serviced or flowers thinking they don’t need the rain. Sure, you can avoid giving your car a service but you know what will eventually happen if it isn’t serviced. You car will break down because the engine and other working parts will be all clogged up. Fasting is not only a powerful spiritual tool but also has significant health benefits. Did you know that fasting can cure certain diseases including cancer and tissue and bone healing also proceed at the maximum rate during a fast. Fasting can also slow the ageing process!

Stop Eating Fried Chicken

Fasting is a tool that God has given us to keep our bodies and spirits healthy. I know Christians who suffer with terrible medical conditions but refuse to fast and then have the audacity to question why God won’t heal them. It seems silly to expect God to heal your body when you are not following the instructions God gave you to maintain your body in the first place. Many times people don’t get healed because if they did, they would get sick again almost immediately after being healed. If you have high cholesterol but refuse to stop eating fried chicken and chips every day, why should God heal you? He might heal you but you wouldn’t even notice that you had been healed because your lifestyle will cause the illness to come right back again! Fasting is an essential part of healthy living, not only can we find breakthrough and freedom but we can also enjoy the benefits of great health when we fast.

As I always say, God didn’t give us the Bible as a set of rules to catch us out, He gave us a user manual for life. Without a user manual you will seldom get the most out of the item you don’t have the manual for. In the same way, the Bible teaches us all the features of life, showing us how we can get full use out of our time here on earth. Fasting is not a rule and not a requirement for Christians. If you don’t fast you will still get to heaven! Is life just about getting to heaven though? I don’t know about you but I want to enjoy my stay here and get the most out of life! Fasting is one of those things that God said we should do because it’s what is best for us and aids us in getting the most out of life. Fasting is a powerful tool that offers breakthrough in our body, spirit and soul.

On the physical front, fasting offers rest to our body as the body uses a great deal of energy to digest food. Fasting releases this energy for other uses and most importantly to heal the body. During the absence of food, the body will systematically cleanse itself of everything except vital tissue. As the toxic load is reduced, the functioning of every cell is enhanced. Waste matter is the first to go and once the body has removed these toxins and waste it will begin to remove fat, diseased and dying cells. It is fascinating what happens in our bodies when we fast. Fasting has been known to not only cleanse our bodies and strengthen them but also to cure certain diseases including cancer.

Tissue and bone healing also proceed at the maximum rate during a fast. Do you ever feel like you have ‘brain fog’? A massive cloud over your mind that slows down your mind? Fasting literally clears your mind, giving you mental clarity. In some cases depression and other mental illnesses can also be healed through regular periods of fasting. Regular twenty four hour fasts, with only water and no food, is valuable for resting your digestive system and cleansing your body. The result will be more energy, clearer skin, a clearer mind and a generally more healthy body. Occasional medium to long fasts, starting from three days up to twenty one days are also advisable, once or twice a year, to give your body a good rest from all the toxins that we consume in this day and age. Fasting can vary from drinking only water and abstaining from food to drinking juices and soups to abstaining from certain foods and drinks.

This is a chapter snippet from He Restores My Soul. Find out more about the different types of fasts in He Restores My Soul.

Being a Friend - Invitation

2012-04-23T13:09:00.000+01:00

Today’s women seem to underestimate the value of a good friend. Social networking sites, Internet, email and mobile phones have devalued good old fashioned friendships in many ways. Technology is great to speed up the pace of our already fast paced life but why not slow down and take some time to get to know someone. To really know someone. Get some real friends that don’t only like your Facebook status but actually know you enough to like who you are.

I challenge you to join me on this journey to discover God's design and purpose for friendship. Friendships are powerful and highly valuable. Friendships are God’s idea and a necessary part of His plan for planet earth. Friendships are good and they are worth the effort.

The Cambridge dictionary’s definition of friend is “a person who you know well and who you like a lot, but who is usually not a member of your family” or “someone who is not an enemy and who you can trust”. The Bible however, goes much deeper and one of the original Hebrew word for friend is ray'-ah, ray'-ah which means companion, fellow, friend, husband, lover, neighbour and very interestingly comes from the root word raw-aw which means to tend a flock, that is, pasture it; intransitively to graze. I thought this was a beautiful illustration of the care and nurturing that is required to grow a good friendship. Another word for friend when the Bible speaks of being a 'friend of God' is philos in Greek which means to be actively fond. Isn’t that a wonderful concept, to be actively fond of someone?

Grab a cuppa coffee and join us as we explore what the Bible has to say about friendships. Laugh with us and cry with us, the end result will be great friendships which is so worth it!

Find out more about Being a Friend here or about using our material to host your own Girl's Night here.

Being a Friend

2012-04-23T12:59:00.003+01:00

Being a Friend is a part of the 'Being' series. Here we take a look at what being a good friend means according to the Bible. A refreshing read on being a friend with lively, real discussion with a group of every day ordinary friends - it's NOT at all what you might think.

Coming soon to: Amazon.com | Amazon.co.uk | Kindle

Contents:
Invitation

The Five Stages of Being a Friend

Being a Friend
     Who is a Friend
     Who Lays Down Their Life
     Who is Fun
     Who is Loyal
     Who is Honest
     Who has Purpose
     Who Stands in the Gap
     Who Offers Godly Advice
     Who Doesn't Flatter
     Who is Wise
     Who is Humble
     Who Judges Herself
     Who Covers Transgressions
     Who is a Friend of Jesus
     Who is a Friend of God
     Who Befriends the Lost

Nature's Way - Hair Treatments

2012-04-21T15:22:00.002+01:00

I struggled to find much information on hair treatments. It seems that the information is similar to that of a conditioner. If you know your ingredients and know what to avoid you should be safe. Most hair treatments have a similar cancer risk to conditioners and shampoos. One thing stood out though and that was the new research on Keratin based treatments. Keratin is the latest thing to get frizz free hair. It is found in our body naturally and is a family of fibrous structural proteins that make up the outer layer of human skin and is also the key structural component of our hair and nails. When the Keratin in our body is damaged it makes our hair and skin look dull which is why many people tend to have a Keratin treatment.

These treatments are made by taking the keratin from animals, like the wool from sheep, and making a mixture out of it. This mixture will be applied to the hair as a Keratin treatment to replenish the hair’s damaged Keratin.

Sadly this seemingly ‘natural’ treatment is not natural at all and several side effects such as excessive hair loss, deterioration of hair condition, allergic reactions and in some cases cancer has even been reported. As with all of these dangerous products, you hair will look great at first but after some time has passed you will begin to see the negative side effects.

The Brazilian Blowout is another popular hair treatment at the moment but sadly reports of similar bad side effects have started coming in recently. Most keratin hair treatments use formaldehyde, which is a known carcinogen.

Why not stick to nature’s way. Rather than try the latest new product that has not been thoroughly tested, use something that has been around since the beginning of time, something like olive oil or yoghurt.

Nature’s Way Alternatives

Olive oil is the best treatment for hair. Olive oil nourishes and conditions your hair. It also improves the strength and elasticity of your hair. Unlike harmful chemical treatment, olive oil doesn’t just coat your hair but it actually feeds it.

Olive oil contains a wide variety of valuable antioxidants that are not found in other oils. In fact olive oil is known to protect us from certain types of cancer. It is also immensely beneficial in adding smoothness and softness to a dry scalp, especially during the winter months.

All in all you cannot go wrong with olive oil.

Results:

• Healthy hair

• Save money

• Great shine

• Softer hair

• More manageable hair

• No harmful chemicals

Cautions:

• Take care to wash and rinse well or greasy hair will result.

NATURE’S WAY HAIR TREATMENT

Ingredients: Olive Oil

Method: Rinse your hair with warm water.

Warm one tablespoon of olive oil by rubbing it in the palms of your hands then gently massage the oil into your scalp. Make sure that you rub plenty of oil on the ends of your hair.

Place a plastic bag over your hair for half and hour.

Rinse extremely well with warm water and then shampoo as usual.

* You can also add fresh Rosemary to the oil as Rosemary is well known for its tonic effects and natural hair conditioning. Add a fresh sprig of rosemary to your bottle of oil and leave it there – it will add flavour to your cooking and will condition your hair.

More treatment recipes:

There are many other simple ways to give your hair a deep treatment using natural ingredients, here are some examples:

Yoghurt

Yoghurt has natural antifungal and antibacterial properties as well as many healthy enzymes along with natural oils. Using yoghurt in your hair stimulates hair growth and will also fight dandruff. The protein in yoghurt helps to strengthen and moisturise your hair.

Yoghurt Treatment

• ½ cup plain probiotic yoghurt

Mix the yoghurt well with a fork of put it in a blender for a couple of minutes. Part your hair and apply the yoghurt to your scalp until your entire scalp is covered with yoghurt. Then work the yoghurt through your hair with your fingers or with a wide toothed comb. Leave to soak for one hour and then rinse out well with warm water and wash as usual.

For extra strength and shine, beat an egg into the yoghurt and apply as above. Take care to rinse the yoghurt and egg treatment out with cool water as the egg will cook into your hair if you use warm water.

Caution:

I have found that the yoghurt can leave a terrible smell in your hair. Make sure you rinse very well and perhaps use an essential oil when washing your hair afterwards.

Now it's your turn.

If you have any hair treatment or hair care tips that work well, please share them with us. Find out more about Nature's Way here.

King's Daughters in Kampala, Uganda

2012-04-17T09:48:00.000+01:00

It is with great joy that I want to introduce you to Caroline Emmy Mwawasi who is heading up King's Daughters in Kampala, Uganda. Please pray for her as she begins her preparations to start a King's Daughters Mum's Group next month.

Caroline along with her lovely children support her husband at Africa Resource Ministries where he trains and equips African pastors and church leaders. Caroline knows God is wanting her to reach out the women in her area and has recently run a one day seminar for ladies dealing with health and hygiene in their homes. Follow Caroline on her brand new Facebook page for more exciting news and updates.

If you would like to start a King's Daughters Mum's Group, run a Girl's Night or do anything along these lines please get in touch and we will support you, send you teaching material and do whatever we can to ensure your success.

Being a Mother

2012-04-17T06:00:00.002+01:00

Being a Mother is a part of the 'Being' series. We take a deep look into the Biblical role of the woman and all the hats she has to wear. A refreshing read on being a mother with lively, real discussion with a group of every day ordinary mothers - it's NOT at all what you might think.

Coming soon to: Amazon.com | Amazon.co.uk | Kindle

Contents:
Invitation

The Five Stages of Being a Mother

Being a Mother
     Who Loves
     Who Disciplines
     Who Sets Boundaries
     Who is Available
     Who is Involved
     Who Trains and Teaches
     Who Nurture
     Who Speaks Life
     Who Listens
     Who is Free from Fear
     Who Forgives
     Who Prays
     Who Knows When to Let Go
     Who Mothers Others

Nature's Way - Serum and Heat Protection

2012-04-14T20:15:00.000+01:00

As with all hair care products, serums and heat protectors can come with high health risks and may contain several cancer causing ingredients. Most of these products contain silicones such as Cyclomethicone and Dimethicone. These silicones are heavy and very difficult to wash out and more importantly may interfere with hormone function and damage the liver. Logically, if you think about it, silicone coats the hair, trapping anything beneath it, and does not allow the hair to breathe. Silicones do give the hair a shine at first by coating the hair strands with oils but these oils are extremely bad for the hair. Long term use will only make your hair worst not better.

Nature’s Way Alternatives

Natural oils help to enhance absorbability of other natural ingredients to promote healing of damaged hair shaft. These oils are fantastic for both serum and as a heat protector. I have found that extra virgin olive oil and grapeseed oil are fantastic oils for these and many other purposes.

Grapeseed oil is a great heat protector as it has a very high smoke point. Olive oil also has a high smoke point but not as high as grapeseed oil. The smoke point generally refers to the temperature at which the oil begins to break down to glycerol and free fatty acids which produce bluish smoke. When using natural oil make sure that you are not heating it to the smoke point.

Grapeseed oil is a light, gentle oil that is high in linoleic acid and vitamin E. Vitamin E is vital in hair and skin care as it is one of the most powerful natural antioxidants which helps to combat free radicals and other damaging elements in the skin. These factors make grape seed oil an excellent oil for not only moisturising your hair but also in protecting your hair from hair damaging hair dryers, hot irons, etc.

Personally, I have found olive oil fantastic for my hair since my hair is very fine and often frizzy. The olive oil holds my hair down well avoiding the flyaway look and at the same time giving it a fantastic shine.

Results:

• Save money

• Healthier hair

• Natural Shine

• Nourishment rather than coating

• Heat protection

Cautions:

• Too much oil looks terrible on hair. Start with applying very oil and slowly add more if required.

• Be careful to apply the oil evenly or you may not notice that the back of your hair is greasy while the front looks great!

NATURE’S WAY SERUM and HEAT PROTECTOR

Ingredients: Extra Virgin Olive Oil or Grapeseed Oil

Method: For use as serum or heat protector take the bottle of oil and hold it tightly against the palm of your hand. Turn the bottle upside down onto your hand which will leave you with a small amount of oil. Two or three drops of oil this size is all you need.

Rub this oil between your palms and work it into your hair by taking some hair into your hand from about an inch away from the roots and then sliding your hand through your hair.

Now it's your turn.

If you have any serum or hair care tips that work well, please share them with us. Find out more about Nature's Way here.

A Place Called Blessing

2012-04-11T15:50:00.000+01:00

This morning I received a book to review for Thomas Nelson. My intention was to start reading a chapter of it today but the story was so gripping that I couldn't put it down until I had read the very last word. I can honestly say that this is the best book I have ever read. I cried my eyes out in some place and had a good chuckle at times too. Josh's story made me think of people in my world that could have a similar story to his. His story made me think that perhaps we write people off too soon or judge them too quickly. Who knows the heart and pain of another person? Who are we to judge? As you approach the end of the book, hold on to your seat and make sure you have a box of tissues handy.

He Restores My Soul - Sleep

2012-04-10T11:48:00.001+01:00

It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows; for so He gives His beloved sleep. - Psalm 127:2

I was about to wrap the book up when I realised that we haven’t discussed the most obvious rest that we all need daily which is of course sleep.

The importance of sleep is often overlooked and I believe that if we fully understand the significance of a good night’s sleep we might make more of an effort to discipline ourselves in this area. It might sound silly that we need to make an effort to sleep well but few people actually have a healthy sleeping routine. We have been “fearfully and wonderfully made” and sleep is quite a miraculous part of God’s design indeed. "Sleep needs to be thought of in the same context as diet and exercise with regard to health," says Carl E. Hunt, M.D., director of the National Center on Sleep Disorders Research in Bethesda, Md. "There's no substitute for getting a good night's sleep on a consistent basis.... And when you don't, you pay a price."

Strange Things Can Occur

When a person is deprived of sleep, strange things begin to occur in their body. I heard of a man, whose girlfriend used lack of sleep as a manipulation tool. She kept him awake all hours over a period of a few weeks and by the end of this sleep deprivation, he had given her his entire life savings. It was as if he actually lost his mind. Once his friends intervened, she left him and his mental state returned to normal as soon as he had a good night’s sleep. His friends reported that during the weeks of sleep deprivation he began to act strangely and seemed quite depressed at times.

Sleep restores energy to the body, particularly to the brain and nervous system. While we sleep all our bodily functions slow down significantly, including our heartbeat and breathing, this brings our body temperature down as well as our blood pressure. While all this slowing down is going on in the body during sleep, significant repair work and accelerated cell growth begins to take place. Sleep is the time when our body slows down in one area so it can speed up in another area, it slows down in using the bodies resources so it can speed up in rebuilding and repairing our body.

It is truly fascinating what happens when we sleep which is why sleep is so important and why lack of sleep can damage both your physical and mental health. Sleeplessness has its most dramatic effect on the brain, which is why you can feel grumpy and moody from lack of sleep as well as unable to think clearly. Chronic sleep deprivation may lead to mental illness, obesity, heart disease and so much more.

Most adults need around eight hours of sleep a night, some a little more and others a little less but eight hours is a good guideline. Studies have shown that people who get a good night’s sleep on a regular basis tend to live longer and healthier lives than those who sleep too few or too many hours each night. For many years I struggled with sleeping, at first I found it difficult to fall asleep and later in life I found myself unable to stay asleep, I would wake up all through the night and never sleep solidly. This struggle led me to research and experiment with sleep, which led me to the following keys that helped me have better quality sleep.

Sleep Environment

Your bed must be for sleeping and relaxing only. In our home, we are very strict about our bedroom activities. Before this ‘rule’, we once had our office in our bedroom. Need I say any more! As you can imagine I would hop from my computer into bed and then would wonder why I struggled to fall asleep! It was like trying to sleep in an office, simply not the right environment at all.

It was not long before my husband and I realised how harmful this setup was. Even though our bedroom was large enough to host our bed and an office area, we decided to move the office downstairs. We also removed all of my husband’s guitars and musical gear too as this was his job. Although music was a hobby, it was his profession too and so the guitars had to go. Lastly we removed all books that were work related so that all we were left with was bedroom furniture and a stunning, peaceful environment. My sleep greatly improved as a result of this simple change in environment.

On particularly difficult nights when I cannot sleep, despite my lovely bedroom, I will listen to calm music to enhance the environment and many times even light candles to create more of a peaceful atmosphere. Having a separate place to work, eat, sleep, etc is essential to a good night’s sleep.

With laptops becoming more and more common in our homes, it is tempting to sit in bed and work, surf the internet, catch up on Facebook or watch movies. However, in many cases the computer is a work item and should not be in your bedroom.

Sadly, modern living and technology has really damaged our health in more ways than we will ever know. Be wise and listen to what your body is saying to you, learn to know when you need to sleep and what time you need to wake up. Each person is different and each person will have a personal preference when it comes to their sleep pattern.

Sleep Comfort

Who can sleep well when they are uncomfortable? We spend about one-third of our lives in bed. By the time we are 60, we will have slept for an average of 20 years. Contrary to popular belief, your mattress is the most important piece of furniture in your home, as no item in your home will get more hours of use. No other piece of furniture contributes so directly to your health and well-being. If your mattress is more than 10 years old, if it has formed annoying peaks, valleys or lumps, or if you wake up stiff and sore, it is probably time for a new one.

The short of it is that your body needs a restful night's sleep in order to be fresh for the day ahead. The effects of poor sleep can have negative effects on memory, cognitive skills, digestion and potentially many other functions. A mattress that is worn out or poorly suited to your needs can cause you to lose valuable sleep. To the contrary, sleeping on the right mattress can help you sleep better.

Sleep Darkness

Creating a quiet, cool and dark sleep-only environment in which to sleep in is very important. Firstly, quiet affects your comfort and lack of quiet can keep you tossing and turning all night. Some people use things with a constant noise to generate ‘white noise’, especially if they aren’t able to have total silence where they sleep. The white noise helps to mute the other noises that would cause them to wake up or not be able to fall asleep. A ticking clock can be quite relaxing for some.

My daughter loves the sound of her fish tank filter, which she has raised slightly above the water level, so that that she can hear the trickling sound of the water, which soothes her. Of course, what works for one person can be an annoyance for another. One of my friends always takes the clock out of the bedroom when she visits us, she simply cannot sleep with the sound of a ticking clock. Some people benefit from setting their radio between stations to generate white noise that soothes them to sleep, but that would not work for me.

Sleep Temperature

Your room temperature will also affect your comfort and so will the position that you sleep in. An ideal temperature for sleeping is 18.33 °C and you should not have too many blankets as this can disrupt your sleep too. For optimal comfort, when sleeping on your side, use a pillow between your knees to help keep the spine aligned and if you sleep on your back, use a pillow under your knees to take pressure off your lower back.

Finally, take care to wear comfortable nightclothes and sleep on a silk pillowcase. It has been proven that silk prevents aging! Studies have shown that amino acids can counter the effects of ageing, especially in the facial skin and can help calm the nervous system. Silk also contains natural cellular albumen, which helps speed up metabolism of skin cells – thus helping to reduce signs of ageing.

Unlike cotton (which is an absorbent fibre and draws moisture), silk will not absorb natural moisture from your face and hair. Silk is a natural heat regulator, maintaining the correct body temperature. It does not conduct heat or static electricity like other fibers. Heat is retained during cold temperatures and redundant heat is shed during warm temperatures, keeping your skin cool in the summer and warm in the winter.

I found the information about silk, which I got from the Sleep 'n Beauty website, fascinating so I contacted them to ask if they would send me a set of their silk pillowcases to try out. They were so lovely and sent me two of their beautiful silk pillowcases and I can honestly say that my skin and hair have never felt better. When I lay my head on my pillow at night I feel so comfortable and sleep very well as a result. I am quite certain that these lovely pillowcases will even reduce the amount of wrinkles that intend to pop up on my face in the future. I highly recommend investing in a set of silk pillowcases.

This is a chapter snippet from He Restores My Soul. Find out more about sleep food, sleep exercise, sleep thoughts and sleep routine - some of the other things that affect our rest in He Restores My Soul.

Nature's Way - Conditioner

2012-04-07T12:06:00.000+01:00

Out of all my research conditioner has turned up as one of the most harmful of all the products we have looked at thus far. Even the children’s conditioners and some of the organic ones have shown cancer risks.

Marianne Kapfer, a librarian in Washington, D.C., likes a natural look. She doesn't wear much makeup but loves to indulge in a good shampoo and conditioner. When she started reading labels more closely, however, "I realized that my 'natural' shampoo wasn't so natural," Marianne says. And that's not all. Due to labelling loopholes, many ‘natural’ and ‘organic’ personal-care products contain hazardous chemicals, some of which, at high exposures, have been shown to cause cancer, birth defects, damage to nervous and reproductive systems and liver damage in lab animals.

Sadly, you cannot assume that a conditioner that says it’s ‘natural’ or ‘organic’ is safe. You either need to know your ingredients really well and scrutinise the labels or simply stick to ingredients from your fruit bowl or refrigerator. A great guideline is - if you won’t eat it don’t put it on your body. You skin absorbs everything so there is little difference between what you put into your body and what you put onto your body. Either way it is absorbed into your blood stream and distributed throughout your body.

The following table shows the health concerns based on commonly used conditioner.

Nature’s Way Alternatives

Vinegar is the best conditioner and hair detangler. I have tried all sorts of natural conditioners but keep coming back to plain and simple white distilled vinegar. It’s cheap and works amazingly well on the whole family. The only thing I would say it that it does burn your eyes or open wounds. Take special care when using it on children as you don’t want to burn their eyes. The results are fantastic though, it cures dandruff and an itchy scalp and leaves you with a brilliant, natural shine.

Another great alternative to vinegar is lemon juice. This has a similar effect to vinegar without the vinegar smell. These acids strengthen the hydrogen bonds in hair protein and help seal the outer layer of the cuticle. Lemon juice however, will lighten your hair over a long period of time where as vinegar will not have the same effect. Lemon juice is also great for washing your face, so you can allow it to run onto your face and do two things at once, but we will get to that in the next chapter.

Results:

• No dandruff or itchy scalp

• Save money

• Great shine

• No tangles

• No harmful chemicals

Cautions:

• Avoid contact with eyes

• Will sting open wounds but is not harmful to them

• Rinse vinegar well or you will smell like a fish and chips shop

NATURE’S WAY CONDITIONER

Ingredients: Vinegar

Method: Pour undiluted distilled white vinegar into your hair. Massage gently into your scalp and rinse well.

More conditioner recipes:

There are many recipes available for more complex conditioners using natural ingredients, here are some examples:

Guar Gum Conditioner

• 1 cup water

• ⅛ teaspoon Guar Gum*

• 1 teaspoon grapeseed oil

Mix the Guar Gum into a paste by slowly adding small amounts of water. Once all the gum is mixed together slowly add the rest of the water. Next add the oil and either whisk or shake the container until the oil is mixed well. Store this conditioner in the fridge for us up one month. Use as conditioner and either rinse out or leave in.

Aloe Vera and Lemon Conditioner

• ¼ cup Aloe Vera gel

• Juice from ½ lemon

Apply to washed hair, leave it in for five minutes and then rinse.

Alternatively, rub a small amount of Aloe Vera gel into your hair as a leave in conditioner.

Honey Conditioner

• Mix equal parts of honey and water.

Work the mixture through your hair and then rinse with warm water. Several rinses may be necessary to remove the honey but the result will be incredible soft and silky hair. Manuka honey is best and it has been said that it can even help with hair loss problems by rejuvenating the scalp and encourage hair growth over time.

Beer Conditioner

• 1 cup flat beer

After shampooing, pour the beer through your hair and let it sit for a few minutes. Massage your scalp gently and make sure the beer touches the roots of your hair. Rinse very well or your hair will smell like beer. The proteins and sugars in the beer will strengthen the keratin in your hair and give it a fantastic shine. To get rid of the shine you could give your hair a rinse with an essential oil or boil some mint in some water and when it has cooled rinse you hair with the minty water.

Coconut Milk Leave in Conditioner

• Coconut Milk

Towel dry your hair and then shake the coconut milk before you use it as it usually comes separated. Pour a little coconut milk into your palms and work it through your hair. Be careful not to use too much as your hair will go greasy. It is a bit messy to apply though, so do it over a sink or before you get out if the shower.

Now it's your turn.

If you have any conditioner recipes that work well, please share them with us. Find out more about Nature's Way here.

He Restores My Soul - Stillness

2012-04-04T20:10:00.000+01:00

“He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul” - David, Psalm 23:2-3

It was with great conviction, a few years ago, that I felt God calling me to still waters. He had called me so that I would know that He is God and so that He could restore my soul. Understanding the seasons in my life has been an essential key to my survival and to my joy in this life. I have found that many people love being called to busyness and to do things for God but few people love being called to the still seasons. Most people completely avoid God's call to be still. I have been guilty of this in past times but not on this occasion. Excitement filled me as I contemplated the beautiful green pastures that He would lead me to. The thought of rest and some time out actually thrilled me.

Be still, and know that I am God;... - Psalm 46:10

...He leads me beside the still waters. - Psalm 23:2

Practically though, what does this look like in life? STOP! That's the first thing that stillness meant to me. I had to stop saying yes to everything and everyone and just take time out to be still. Being a pastor is not a neatly packaged job, the need in the church and in the community is always much greater that the time or resources that the church has available. Stopping was not a simple, clean cut thing to do, a great deal of what had to be stopped required a process. Identifying what I needed to stop was step one but step two was to figure out how I could stop practically. Dropping the ball was not an option in many areas of my church work. I had to find someone to train and hand over much of my workload to.

The Power Of Our Choice

I committed to the journey and aimed towards a season of stillness. Gradually I managed to stop most of my church duties, keeping only a few duties were genuinely essential at that time. Another very important step was to stop feeling the pressure to be highly productive and achieve all the time. The focus of the season was to rest and my only focus was to find ways to rest each day. Does that sound boring? Well it did to me, especially after being constantly on the go for years.

Boredom results only if you don't understand the season you are in but if you embrace the stillness, and adjust your mind accordingly, it is wonderful. How we feel can always be controlled by the power of our choice. If you think bored you will feel bored but if you choose to set your mind to think peace then you will feel peaceful.

The season of stillness brought me more time with my children, times of simply hanging out in the garden, playing with frogs and ladybirds. It also gave me more time to try out new recipes and bake more cakes with the children. I did things that I didn’t usually have time for, like mooching around town to do some random shopping.... something that I would not usually do. Shopping was usually scheduled as part of a busy day and had to be done in the shortest possible time. Most importantly it gave me time to linger in God's presence. Often I would find myself rambling off my long list of prayers and then running off to do the next task on my day plan. In the season of stillness I found that I could linger for hours just sitting in His presence – it was almost like having a holiday with Jesus.

Was I being lazy? No! That is the biggest trap of all and it is all in our mind. In the past I would feel lazy when I attempted to have a still season and the guilt drove me back to busyness. Guilt was superseded by constant nagging thoughts of “what will they think”. People pleasing was one of my weaknesses and I did fear that people would find out that I had not accepted an invitation in order to do nothing. When declining an invitation I merely said ‘I can’t’ rather than the usual ‘I am busy’. Everything in me needed to justify why I was unable to accept an invitation but I knew that simply saying, “I can’t” would suffice. My reasons were my business after all.

Laying awake at night, tossing and turning, I realised that I had a long way to go in order to get to green pastures and still waters. As I contemplated this new season of being still I realised that there was another layer to this concept and that was being quiet. In order to fully reap the benefits of this awesome season I needed to quieten my mind from all distractions, from all the things that kept me awake at night. On top of that I also needed to literally be quiet - not talk. Quieting my thoughts required disciplining my mind to think of other things. Instead of meditating on the work I had to do, I needed to intentionally force my mind to ponder on more peaceful things. I am the sort of person that is on the go all the time which is why I have to have seasons of rest. My mind needs to rest, my body needs to rest and my spirit needs to rest and to be in God's presence.

Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles.
- Proverbs 21:23

Quieting my mouth was another challenge for me. There are times to be bold and say things that needed to be said and there are times to simply be quiet. I felt God was challenging me to go one step further and be quiet in my season of stillness. Where I would usually have had a lot to say I should say a little, and where I would usually speak bold words I should speak no words. Apparently this would keep my soul from troubles, what a sobering thought.

And so I attempted to be still in my body, mind and soul. It was a wonderful time of refreshing where I did less in order to be more effective in what I did do. I also learned the value of saying less as most of what I usually said wasn’t really necessary. The Bible has a lot to say about this but sadly few of us ever master speaking less. Worst of all is that when the Bible does mention speaking less it also mentions the consequences of not speaking less. Let me list a few of these verses for you:

The wise in heart accept commands, but a chattering fool comes to ruin.
- Proverbs 10:8

Whoever winks maliciously causes grief, and a chattering fool comes to ruin.
- Proverbs 10:10

But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken.
- Matthew 12:36

The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil. - Proverbs 15:28

Give Your Tongue A Break

The list could go on and on. The Bible also mentions that you should not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen . Now I don’t know about you but I struggled with this one. Most of the time I talk because I have something to say, because I want to be heard or because I want to get something off my chest.

The thought of talking only to build others up according to their needs and for their benefit was a challenge. I accepted the challenge though. If God wanted me to be still then I would do my best to be still. If God wanted me to be quiet then I would do my best to be quiet. After some time of practising to bite my tongue I noticed something interesting. I felt more peaceful. In fact, when I gave my tongue a break I actually noticed that I was able to hear the Holy Spirit’s promptings more clearly.

This is a chapter snippet from He Restores My Soul. Find out more about all the different ways to be still including the fascinating benefits of failure in He Restores My Soul.

Being a Wife - Who Desires God

2012-04-02T09:00:00.001+01:00

I came across a fantastic article by Wendy Alsup that totally demystified Genesis 3:16 for me for once and for all. So with her permission I have included her article here so that you too can enjoy the revelation that I had. So without further ado, over to Wendy:

After the fall of man, God is very clear in Genesis 3:16 about the consequences for women.

To the woman He said, "I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you."

Conservative, complementarian evangelicals (of which I am one) regularly interpret the next to last line to mean that her desire will be to rule over her husband. But that simply is not what Scripture says. And before you label me liberal (and it’s amazing these days what can get you labelled that way), hear me out. If we can think about this topic anew, I think those who minister to women will be better equipped to apply the gospel to the core places in women’s hearts affected by depravity. So let’s consider the particular consequence of the fall of man that a woman’s desire will be for her husband.

Similar phrases are used in Genesis 4:7 and Song of Solomon 7:10.

Genesis 4:7 “… And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it."

Song of Solomon 7:10 “I am my beloved's, And his desire is for me.”

The argument used by some for interpreting Genesis 3:16 to mean foremost a desire to dominate the husband is that Genesis 4:7 could be read that sin’s desire is against us, to dominate over us. But that argument is undermined by Song of Solomon 7:10. There the phrase means exactly what a straightforward reading of it indicates. His desire is for her. I believe Genesis 3:16 should be read exactly as it says—her desire will be for her husband. Plain and simple. No contortions needed to accurately discern what God is saying here.

Though some argue that the word “for” could be translated “against,” no Bible translation (that I could find) says her desire is “against” her husband. They all say her desire is “for” her husband. Apparently, no translation team thought “against” was the best meaning of that term. It doesn’t make sense to say “desire against.” The problem with our desires is always that they are either FOR the wrong thing or FOR the right thing but out of proportion to what is appropriate.

The word for “desire” in Genesis 3:16 can mean craving or longing. The issue is best understood if we make the simple substitution of God for her husband. Her desire SHOULD BE for her God. Instead, her desire/craving/longing is misplaced. The curse is not that women want to dominate the men in their lives. Women’s problem is that they worship the men in their lives and look to them for affirmation and provision emotionally and spiritually for things that God alone is supposed to provide. Their problem is IDOLATRY.

If you think that the foundational result of the fall of man in the average woman’s life is a desire to dominate, your ministry is going to miss … well … the vast majority of problems in a woman’s life. Certainly, I know my fair share of dominating, manipulative, control freakish women (of which I am often chief), but our problem goes much deeper than the symptomatic issue of control. We are idolaters! We looked to men to meet a need they couldn’t meet—emotionally, spiritually, physically. And instead of recognizing our sovereign, compassionate, and wise Father in heaven as the place to which we should have looked, we started looking within ourselves once the men in our lives disappointed us. Control tactics aren’t the manifestation of an innate desire to dominate the men in our lives. Instead, we resort to manipulation and control because we longed too hard to rest in the men in our lives. We grasp and clamour, “Lead me spiritually. Provide for me physically. Affirm me emotionally.” And when they can’t or don’t, then we attempt to lead ourselves spiritually, provide for ourselves physically, and seek outside affirmation for ourselves emotionally. Instead, we don’t need to change our desire or craving. We simply need to change the object of it.

God, I need you to meet the spiritual void in my life! “Certainly, child. I will not leave you as an orphan. I have sent my Spirit to bring to your remembrance all I have taught you, for apart from me, you can do nothing.” John 15

God, provide for me physically! “You can trust me, child. Do not worry for your physical needs. As I provide for the birds and flowers, I will provide for you.” Matthew 5-7

God, I need help emotionally! “Yes, child. Meditate on all I have declared over you through Christ. You have received the full rights of a child of the King (Galatians 4:5). I will receive you one day into my arms with the affirmation, ‘Well done good and faithful servant.’ Find joy and rest in Me.”

We are not going to really understand how the gospel equips us reclaim God’s image in us as His daughters until we understand clearly what our problem is. I can’t emphasize strongly enough that the problem in women created by the fall is deeper than control and domination. It may play out that way in some women, but it doesn’t play out that way in all women. There certainly is a battle between the sexes as a result of the fall, but it is often one-sided. For every controlling, manipulative, take-charge woman (who tends to be out there in front of us all), there are 5 pathetic doormats (hidden in the shadowy corners of life) waiting desperately for crumbs from porno guy’s table. They’ll do whatever it takes—perform demeaning sexual acts, sacrifice the hearts of their children to an abuser, and other unimaginable acts of desperation—like a prisoner chained in a cell lapping water that spills out the toilet because he’s dying of thirst. This insatiable craving is an issue of worship and idolatry. Apart from Christ, our tendency after the fall is to set up men as being able to meet needs in us that only God can meet, and there is no limit to how desperate we can become.

Women often perceive weakness or strength among each other by how they react when men fail them. The perceived strong feminist woman is the one who doesn’t need men. She can do it on her own. The perceived weak woman is the one who continues to follow loser men around like a whipped puppy. In contrast, in Christ, we have a new and different way altogether. The woman bought by Christ who is set up as God’s honoured daughter with full access to the King of kings has her needs met in Him. God pours into her. God equips her. God satisfies her emotional, spiritual, and physical needs. Then and only then can she let go of her perceived rights and be the helper to her male counterpart that God created her to be.

In Sacred Influence, Gary Thomas begins his encouragement to wives by thoroughly fleshing out all we have in Christ as His daughters. Thomas makes a point that it isn’t until we get our identity in Him that we can deal with what God requires of us in marriage. The good news of the gospel is that Christ has paved the way for us to boldly come to our Father’s throne room in heaven to find spiritual empowerment, physical help, and emotional affirmation. God’s help and affirmation are real and effective. He will meet the void in your heart that years of looking to men have never filled. Come boldly to Him in confidence and find grace and mercy at the points of your deepest longings today, for apart from Him, you can do nothing.

Find out more about Being a Wife here or about using our material to host your own Girl's Night here.

He Restores My Soul - Selah

2012-03-28T15:22:00.001+01:00

“Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest, lest anyone fall according to the same example of disobedience.” - Hebrews 4:11

Lorah, my twenty year old daughter, was in tears! She was tired and she was in need of sleep - two entirely different things. As I hugged her to comfort her she said,

"When is my 'to do' list ever going to be complete?"

Her frustration was one that many of us face, a life of never ending tasks and the constant feeling that there is more to do than we will ever have time to complete. As I tried to console her, I realised that offering to take on some of her workload wouldn't help her. What I needed to do was to teach her to manage her life well.

Rest is mentioned so many times in the Bible in so many ways for so many reasons, it is a very important part of life. Without understanding how to rest we will burnout or end up being totally overwhelmed with life! This is not God's plan for us, ‘life abundantly’ does not mean life so busy that we can't cope and want to find a shortcut to heaven. Life abundantly means living an abundant life here on earth. Being permanently exhausted is not an abundant life, it is no life at all.

There are four types of rest that I want us to delve into - menuchah, anapauo, Shabbat and selah.

Selah סֶלָה

“He shall send from heaven and save me; He reproaches the one who would swallow me up. Selah God shall send forth His mercy and His truth.” - David, Psalm 57:3

Selah is a Hebrew word for pause סֶלָה‎. It is used mostly in the Psalms to indicate a pause in the music. It can also be an instruction on the reading of the text, something like "stop and listen". Although this is most often used in music, it offers us a great key to leading a balanced life because the 'to do' list will never end. There are big rests like holidays and weekly rests like the Shabbat, but selah is a little gem that will keep us from falling apart in between the big rests and the weekly rests. Selah is like coming up for air when you are swimming or taking a quick breath of air when singing your heart out.

Selah is also the pause that keeps things in perspective and makes the symphony of life sound beautiful. Can you imagine a piece of music without pauses or a poem being read without a breath being taken? Life is like that too, can you imagine what life would look like if we didn't stop and pause at regular intervals?

Selah comes from the primary Hebrew root word calah which means 'to hang,' and by implication to measure (weigh). In Biblical history, money, food and other valuables were weighed by hanging them on a type of balance. This means that we should measure carefully and reflect upon the statements preceding selah when reading the Psalms. To me it also means that selah is an important ingredient to a balanced life.

So how do we translate that into our modern day living? In Lorah's case, it might mean that she needs to take regular short pauses through out her days, instead of rushing from one thing to the next. What I like to do, is to sit in my garden whenever I can, just to take a moment to stop and selah. It's just a short, five minute pause, where I sit and look at the birds or squirrels in the garden or simply take a deep breath of fresh air. It is in those times that I can also reflect on something that I need to consider or simply have a minute with God and ask His opinion on my day or something specific.

Other times I sit in my rocking chair and gaze out of my bedroom window with a nice cup of coffee or perhaps take a short walk on a beautiful sunny day! Working from home has it’s advantages and disadvantages but one great advantage is the flexibility to balance each day with reglular pauses. There are so many things that can be done to create a balanced life and creating opportunities to selah will lead to a much better, balanced life.

Working in an office can also offer moments of selah. Perhaps you can step outside for a short five minute walk, I am sure smokers in your company step outside for a smoke break so why don’t you step outside for a selah break? Other employees might drink ten cups of coffee a day, which amounts to a lot of time spent making and drinking coffee and without realising it they are breaking up their day with short pauses too.

Do not feel guilty under any circumstances for breaking up your day with short pauses. You will eventually be a better employee for it as you will be less stressed and more productive in general. A healthy person is always better off than an unhealthy person and investing in rest will naturally lead to better health! Having short pauses during your day is a choice and you can make it work no matter what your day or workplace looks like.

This is a chapter snippet from He Restores My Soul. Find out more about menuchah, anapauo, Shabbat - some other types of rest - in He Restores My Soul.

He Restores My Soul - Overworking

2012-03-25T20:48:00.003+01:00

“As he came from his mother’s womb, naked shall he return. To go as he came; and he shall take nothing from his labour. Which he may carry away in his hand.” - Ecclesiastes 5:15

Rest may refer to leisure, relaxation or sleep. Rest is the opposite of work. Rest is not being productive, not accomplishing anything and not overworking. Rest is often one of the most difficult things for people to do. Who would have thought that doing nothing would be one of the things we struggled with most? This is especially true in Christian circles! Christians are very prone to doing too much, trying to achieve too much while disregarding their need for rest. They fear being seen as lazy or unspiritual. Of course, this is a trap, a very well thought out trap by the one who opposes everything that God designed.

God rested after six days of work and He told us to follow His example. Jesus commended Mary for taking time out from work to be with Him. Jesus even said, “Come to Me, all you who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

If the Almighty God and Jesus Christ have given us clear examples of how to rest, as well as clear instructions to rest, then why do we struggle so much with the concept of rest? Before we get into how and why we rest, let us examine why we do not want to rest. One form of not resting is of course overworking, burning the midnight oil, doing too much or burn the candle at both ends. Let’s take a look at why some of us tend to lean towards this horrible habit.

Definition

Some people are defined by what they do or by what they accomplish. If they stopped doing what they do, they would not know who they are. Is that you? Do you hide from who you really are by overworking? Do you feel good about your accomplishments and feel empty without them? Does your work define you?

Take some time to consider how your work affects you, it can be anything from your career or your work at church to things like being a parent or a spouse. Does anything that you do define you? If you stopped doing what you do, would others still recognise you? It is essential to stop every now and then and take an honest look at how much your work defines you. If you cannot be content with who you are during periods of rest, then you are clearly defined by your work and God never intended for our work to define us. We are made in His image therefore our definition should come from Him alone and nothing else.

This need to measure our value through the prism of our work is one reason why so many young people are often under so much pressure at school. Pressure to pick the right career is thrust upon them with the ultimatum that if they don’t pick well they will never amount to anything in life.

It’s sad that so much effort is put into pressurising young people to commit to a career and so little is invested in their self worth and identity as an individual. Family values, personal morals, integrity, confidence and other such things are seldom taught or encouraged at school, leaving young people unequipped to lead a balanced life.

Stop and Rest from Definition

If you know you are being defined by your work, stop and rest. Take time to discover who you really are and learn to be content whether you are busy with work or simply having a day off. Stop caring what people think of you and start taking care of yourself. After all, they don’t have to live your life, so you really don’t need to consider their opinion on how you live.

It doesn’t matter if you are not always on the go, if you don’t have something to show for your work, if you are not achieving all the time. Stop and rest, find out how you are made in God’s image and allow Jesus to give you rest.

Guilt

Guilt is a trap in every possible form. Guilt is never a reason for anything at all. Too many people are trapped into overworking by guilt. They are not free to stop and rest because if they do people might think they are lazy. Perhaps they even perceive themselves as lazy if they rest and so guilt keeps them going.

Guilt motivates a parent or single parent to overwork in compensation for what the child has lost in a parent. Guilt motivates a spouse to overwork to make up for what they cannot provide in other areas of the marriage. Guilt motivates a student to overwork to get affirmation and love from their parents. Guilt causes a Christian to overwork in church because they have not understood God’s gift of grace.

The list could go on forever but if you are overworking at this point in your life, assess for yourself and see if you can find any guilt driving you to overwork.

Stop and Rest from Guilt

If you know you are overworking because you feel too guilty to stop, stop and rest from your guilt. Maintaining guilt is hard work and the opposite of guilt is innocence! Cut yourself some slack, you are innocent! Whatever you are beating yourself up about, stop and rest. There is nothing at all that you have ever done that cannot be forgiven. If you have been forgiven, you are innocent.

Fear

What will happen if I stop? What will I have to face if I am not consumed by my busyness? Some people fear having to face deep internal issues, they avoid dealing with things by overworking. At night they are so exhausted that the memories of a past hurt is easily avoided as they crash into a deep sleep from exhaustion. They continue with this pattern until one day everything comes crashing down around them. Their health suffers or their family falls apart or something dreadful happens as a result of their fear driven overworking.

Fear can also be a driving force where overwork is being done for love or approval, especially in children or in marriage. Children may drive themselves into complete burnout at school just to earn a simple well done at the end of the year. Many children are starved from tangible love and affection and so they force themselves to overwork. Fear of losing this love, affection and approval could cause them to continue overworking even though they know it is not good for their health.

The same can be said for a husband or wife who is working hard to earn love and acceptance or for a person who lives for the approval of their boss. Even when they realise how unhealthy it is, they may choose to continue to overwork, as they fear losing the approval that they so desperately need in order to survive.

Stop and Rest from Fear

If you know you are not taking time to rest because you are too full of fear, then stop and rest. Remember what the Bible says about fear, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.”

Rest in God’s love and allow His perfect love to cast out all of your fears. Take time out to be healed and set free from your fears. Overworking out of fear cannot solve anything, it will only add to your problems from which you cannot escape. Stop and rest.

This is a chapter snippet from He Restores My Soul. Find out more about disobedience, materialism and addiction - some of the other things that cause us to overwork and not rest in He Restores My Soul.