Welcome to Olivia Mia's Blog!

Livi's new favorite spot, and more trouble

noreply@blogger.com (Karen and Joel) — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 03:42:00 +0000

She's into EVERYTHING!!!!

Liv almost walking!

noreply@blogger.com (Karen and Joel) — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 02:17:00 +0000

She's growing up fast! Not quite walking yet but as you can see, she's not far! Enjoy!

Holiday 08, A Most Joyous Occasion

noreply@blogger.com (Karen and Joel) — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 15:08:00 +0000

I guess everyone gets a bit reflective at this time of year, and we are no different. It is amazing that we ended the year in the way we did, very differently than we began 2008! We were blessed by the most special little person's arrival, one which we cannot imagine life without. It is a wonder how adoption works. Just as we were told, there is a perfect match and we are confidant that Olivia was meant to be our child.

We had a very busy December, lots of visits and, as always, lots of firsts! Olivia decided, in a single day, to begin to (finally!) crawl in the forward direction, to pull herself up to standing, and to hold her own bottle. It was momentous to say the least. Thankfully she fit that all in a few days before we left her (for the first time) with her Lola, Aunt Liesl, Uncle Joe and her cousins. Needless to say they all had a blast and we had a weekend to remember what life was like before a little one! December also brought visits - to see the Bush's and be present for baby Devin's naming ceremony, Lori and Tobin (we are so lucky we see them so much given how far away they live, and yes, Tobin and Olivia are still in love), and the Farley's swung by on a post Christmas visit so Olivia and Kayla got to play their hearts away.

Christmas was spent in NJ, and then back at our house so there was a whole lot of celebrating (and lots of toys to go with it). Mattingly and Olivia thoroughly enjoyed themselves. We've included our favorite photos from the holiday...

Our little girl is going to be walking in no time. She spends all of her waking moments doing the three C's - crawling, cruising, and climbing. If you want to figure out how to baby proof your house quickly call us, Olivia will show you in about three seconds.

Happy New Year to all!

Making up for lost time

noreply@blogger.com (Karen and Joel) — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 18:11:00 +0000

So clearly life has been a bit busy, I've fallen off the blog update wagon. It's been a full three months so I'm going to attempt to make up for some lost time.

Olivia is nine months old, and as of this morning's visit to the pediatrician she logs in at 19 pounds, 12 ounces and 27.5 inches in length. Obviously she has been eating well! The most exciting developments though are that Olivia is crawling and pulling herself up to stand. She's surprised herself a few times by letting go of whoever/whatever she is leaning on and been able to hold her own for a second or two before she realizes it and lunges for the closest stable thing to hold onto. She has also asserted her independence and insists upon feeding herself her own bottle :) Thank goodness that she is saying mama and dada or we'd begin to think she doesn't need us anymore. It's amazing to watch her go.

Olivia continues to have a best friend in Mattingly who has been through some rough times in the past few months. In October we learned Matti had a cancerous tumor in his front left leg and he has since had it amputated. He is almost half way through his chemotherapy and he's doing fantastic. Humans can learn quite a bit from animals - this major surgery proved nothing for our strong, active guy. Olivia has been a doting little sister, and we need to watch them both constantly because they love to kiss one another and Olivia has taken a strong interest in Mattingly's toys.

Lots more positive, exciting things to report as well from the past few months. We've continued to travel - visiting Karen's family in NJ in September and November. Karen's sister is expecting and Olivia had a grand time "bonding" with her new cousin on our latest visit, he is due to arrive at the end of January and we are so excited! We also finalized Olivia's adoption in early October with a quick trip down to Texas, and vacationed in the Outer Banks with the Helmreich and Waller families. The weather was perfect and we spent lots of time outside - great for the dogs, kids and adults! October was also Olivia's first Halloween and she had not one, but two costumes thanks to her Aunt Liesl. Lots of fun with her little friends dressing up and taking pictures - the parents definitely had a blast.

We are gearing up for Christmas and are so blessed to be celebrating this year with our new family. Even though I have not been great with updating the blog we did continue to take lots of pictures. To spare everyone hours of flipping through we've included our favorites from the past three months - enjoy and happy holidays!

Click on the picture to view all the pictures.

Olivia Favorites Sept - Nov 08

Happy half year old!

noreply@blogger.com (Karen and Joel) — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 19:06:00 +0000

It's unbelievable but our girl is six months old! Every bit of time that we have had with Olivia since she arrived home has been, by far, the most exciting and awe inspiring of our lives. That said, the past few weeks have been our favorite so far! Olivia is SO MUCH FUN with all of the new things she is doing - sitting up, rolling over (both ways), eating solids and chatting it up - it's a whole new world! The best, by far, has been the development of a very special friendship between Olivia and Mattingly. All of our angst about Matti accepting Olivia into our family has quickly faded and been replaced by daily moments of adorable behavior (as captured in the many pictures to follow). Matti has assumed the role of chief protector and Olivia looks to him for ultimate consolation in times of frustration and sadness. It's too cute for words.

We've spent the last two weeks holed up a bit due to a stomach bug Olivia contracted, but have still managed to have some fun and record some firsts - Olivia's sitting up skills have quickly strengthened and she's added rolling from her back to her tummy to her repertoire. (This has introduced some challenges to nap time as she's not quite sure what to do with herself once she gets on to her tummy.) Olivia has delighted in the discovery of bubbles, as well as the infant swing (we logged 20 minutes on the swing at the park yesterday!) We also have added solid foods into our routine and Olivia has quickly established her preferences (yes to sweet potatoes and a powerful no thank you to barley). We also fit in some fun time at the Takata-Waller country club pool with Kira and Claire and a visit to Ryan Moseley before the stomach bug grounded us. We're hopeful that it will pass shortly as our full schedule of fall activities is due to begin week after next!

Until next time, enjoy the photos!

Cross country trippin...

noreply@blogger.com (Karen and Joel) — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 12:59:00 +0000

What an incredibly eventful last week we've had - chock full of good stuff! On the 8th Olivia, Karen and Joel boarded a plane for Denver and had a very full (yet relaxing) weekend with the crew, then Karen and Olivia traveled on for a few days with the Reale family. In the span of six days Olivia flew three times - from DC to Denver, from Denver on to San Diego and then from San Diego home. En route she managed to charm half of the country - if she could have juggled to get more attention I think she would have! Thankfully it was all positive attention...well...at least most of it was. Olivia is such a social bee that it's tough for her to wind down in the midst of things going on, so needless to say there was not as much sleeping as her mommy would have liked, especially on the trip back from California! The trip was WELL worth the attempt to keep a very active five month old entertained in a seat hardly bigger than two dozen inches across for 11 collective hours. Read on for the highlights...

We got the royal treatment when we arrived in Denver. A car waiting at the airport (we love you Kristin and Brian!), an afternoon of fun with the Seibold clan (complete with two very talented built in babysitters - Zoe and Mae), and a plush set up at the Steele loft downtown (which closely resembles the W hotel chain) complete with all of the comforts of home for Olivia (thanks SO MUCH Sam!) Olivia immediately bonded with the Seibold kids. Charlie and Olivia spent some quality time playing, and taking turns in the Bumbo while Zoe and Mae made sure to keep them in line with lots of kisses and hugs. Joel and Karen got a chance to wind down with the calmest parents of four kids we could have imagined! Jeff and Nicole give us hope :) Olivia was a rock star, totally rolling with the time change, the airplane ride, the lack of naps and everything else we threw her way and after a bath in Kristin and Brian's stylish kitchen sink she calmly went to sleep - for the whole night! This little one is a wonder to us. We got a chance to wind down, with lots of wine - a visit from Timmy, and some great takeout. What a day! So much better than we could have imagined. The rest of the weekend was much of the same - lots of fun with a very well behaved Olivia. We did early morning coffee (adjustment to the time change was not something that Olivia embraced), brunches with Ari and Sheri, and a fabulous party thrown by Sheri's parents to celebrate Ari and Sheri's engagement. We had a chance to connect with the whole crew and introduce Olivia to many of her mountain state admirers. She hammed it up the whole way through. She also slept like a champ - that elevation does wonders!

Sunday it was time to move on - Karen couldn't have been more nervous to fly on her own with Olivia (Joel returned to DC) but again, all went well. Olivia loves to over deliver on expectations, which we certainly won't complain about! When Olivia drifted off to sleep before we even took off all of the anxiety melted away...until she woke up 30 minutes later, but by then we only had an hour or so left so we were set! Lori and Tobin met us at baggage claim (thank goodness, as a good portion of the anxiety came from how to manage all of the baggage we were traveling with!) In retrospect, it was at the San Diego airport that love at first sight occurred between Olivia and Tobin. You think I'm kidding - this claim is well documented...

We had no idea their reaction and connection to one another would be so strong (of course we are thrilled and have already started banking pictures in preparation for their future wedding rehearsal dinner). The following days were filled with fun and firsts. Tobin WALKED for the first time on his own and Olivia demonstrated that she needs no assistance to sit up on her own. These kids do wonders for each other! We think they were trying to show off for one another as both of these events occurred the morning after we arrived. Olivia loved playing with all of Tobin's toys (much to Joel's chagrin we will be visiting the local Babies R Us to stock up on all new toys today), she continued her remarkable behavior - faithfully arranging her naps so Karen and Lori could lunch in lovely locations. We also hit music class (Tobin was very protective of his lady, clearly staking claim early on in the class), walked along the beach and managed some raspberry mojitos at happy hour with the kiddos. Olivia LOVED her Aunt Lori, who quite possibly is the most energetic and expressive individual she will ever keep company with (Karen was actually afraid that Olivia would strike their departure when she learned it meant separating from Tobin and Lori). All in all an INCREDIBLE trip - we had so much fun and it exceeded all of our expectations! Oh, and in the midst of it all baby Moseley decided he'd arrive early so we had something really exciting to fly home to - WELCOME RYAN!

Until next time - enjoy the pics! Click on the picture below for more photos. We've also attempted to include the link to Lori's photos, hopefully you can see it!

Olivia's cross country trip Aug 08

Link to Lori's Photos

And we finally make it to the beach!

noreply@blogger.com (Karen and Joel) — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 13:02:00 +0000

Apparently the third time is the charm. Olivia has been introduced, officially, to the sand, surf, and seagulls. We think her favorite part of it all is the seagulls given the belly laughs that resulted in chasing them down the beach. Who better to do the grand introduction than Grandma - the grand master of beach lovers. The photo shoot of Olivia and Grandma is not to be missed !

Olivia and Karen did record their first official road trip - to LBI to visit the Bush/Chairnoff/Sherman clan, and then on to Grandma and Grandpa's for the rest of the week. Karen is happy to report that the trip was uneventful, in a good way. Joel and Mattingly arrived for the weekend, and we also got to spend some QT with the Farley's - and celebrate Kev's HUGE accomplishment of qualifying for the world championship Ironman competition in Kona, Hawaii this coming October (GO KEV!)

In the last month Olivia has continued to develop her chatting skills - we've moved from very cute jabbering, to raspberry blowing, and have just recently been introduced to noises that we've labeled whining. We're hoping the evolution continues. Check out the video (posted just the other day) of Olivia sitting (almost on her own!) She continues to be so alert and inquisitive - she's reaching with both hands, pulling Karen's hair and anything else she can get her hands on, holding her bottle, and enjoying her playtime for longer periods of time. We're working on the rolling over back to front and other new tricks! She's also found the first love of her life - Mattingly. We are convinced that Olivia could spend hours just petting Mattingly and he has taken to rewarding her with grand licks - on her feet, hands, and face if we don't watch closely! The belly laughs that result are priceless.

At the end of this week we are off to our first grand airplane trip since Olivia arrived home - we'll be visiting lots of friends in Colorado and then Karen and Olivia will travel on to spend some time with the Reale family in San Diego. The next blog posting is sure to be amusing! Until then - the latest pics...

Time with family....

Olivia 19 - 20 weeks

At the beach...

Olivia at LBI and Spring Lake

Livy Sits up!

noreply@blogger.com (Karen and Joel) — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 23:53:00 +0000

Well, almost... After a lot of practice in the Bumbo and the Boppy pillow, she gave us a little glimpse of sitting up on her own. Check it out. London 2012 here we come!

Check out Kar's expert camera work!

4 months old, this is all happening so fast!

noreply@blogger.com (Karen and Joel) — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 16:49:00 +0000

How in the world have so many weeks passed already? Our little girl is four months old and seeing as we just returned from the pediatrician I now have to accept it as official. Olivia is growing - in mind, body and spirit :) She is now 14 lbs, 2 oz and measures 24.5 inches. Apparently we're doing okay in the food department.

In the last few weeks we've introduced two major new toys that she can not live without - her exersaucer (at home) and her jumperoo (at the beach house). She LOVES to be in the standing position and she is as curious as ever - reaching and grabbing at whatever she can get her hands on. Olivia has mastered rolling over and is now attempting to stand solo and take some steps (I'm not kidding). In the last few days she has also begun to take a real interest in whatever we are eating and drinking, and actually reached for mommy's water glass (wrapping both hands around the glass) and brought it to her lips. It seems water is tasty to our little one - a healthy girl from the start! As you will see in the pictures, daddy and Uncle Peter had a little fun with Olivia and beverages while mommy was out. Need to keep an eye on that. She has also begun to show a real interest in Mattingly - he doesn't seem to mind and I think it's the beginning of a beautiful friendship!

We've had two trips to the beach house in the last few weeks. The first trip was in celebration of daddy's birthday and the whole gang joined us one day - the best part was that we got to introduce Olivia to her great grandparents! Lots of time with family, unfortunately no time on the beach. Mommy wimped out on our first trip (fear of sand in the eyes) and the weather didn't cooperate on our second trip. Good thing we'll be there again in a week or so - we'll do it yet. We've also attended our first music class (lots of interest in the other kids, not so much interest in anything else going on), visited the zoo with Kim and Sophia Beahn and Katie and Jack Higgins (mommy got to see the pandas, Livvy slept), gone out to our first restaurant dinner (with Lola, Papa and Uncle Gaby - she was a star), attended Claire Helmriech's 2nd birthday party (My Gym is so fun!), and had a trip to Tysons for lunch and shopping with Jenny and Katie Johnson (pictures of Livvy and Katie in the stroller have more drama to them then you would imagine - apparently Starbucks doesn't allow cameras - Jenny and I are still trying to figure that one out). Lots of people to see and things to do!

We are having a blast and Olivia is just the happiest little one - we are so blessed! Latest pictures are below...

Olivia 15-18 weeks

3 Months is Key for Milestones!

noreply@blogger.com (Karen and Joel) — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 13:08:00 +0000

It's been a while since we updated I know, mom just can't keep up these days :) It may be because Olivia is EXPLODING with development! On Thursday, June 5th Olivia officially turned three months old and celebrated across the next two days by rolling over (tummy to back), laughing for the first time (REALLY laughing), beginning to suck her thumb, AND starting to babble (incessantly at times, and particularly with Joel). It has been a wonder to watch. Since that two day run she's calmed down a bit, I think she just figured she'd get it all out at once and then enjoy it for awhile! That said, she is a kicking machine lately and she loves to try to hold her bottle while feeding.

In terms of events, in the course of the three weeks since we've last updated the blog Olivia has made her first road trip - a visit to the Carither's house in Richmond where we were lucky enough to have a mini reunion with most (not all!) of the Grattan Street girls. She has also helped mommy clean out her office (Karen is officially a full time stay at home mom now) and visited daddy's new office, attended her first mommy and me event (more for mom than baby), and had her first trip to the nail salon (with mommy and Suzy) for manis and pedis. We also had visits from Ashley & Grey Chamberlain, the McArdle's, and Brenda, and we did some visiting - to the Taylors and mommy's monthly girl's dinner. Olivia also had a big outing to the pottery studio to make her daddy his first father's day present - what is better than little feet!

We are looking forward to introducing Olivia to the beach this coming weekend - perhaps the salt air will trigger more developmental surprises!

See Olivia's latest pics...

Olivia (11 - 14 weeks old)

Week Five through Seven - Visitors & Parties!

noreply@blogger.com (Karen and Joel) — Mon, 26 May 2008 13:25:00 +0000

We have been a bit behind in our blogging, largely to do with the massive amount of activity going on at our household! We knew that Olivia's arrival was going to generate some attention but nevertheless, we have been enormously overwhelmed by what has actually occurred. We are so blessed to have such an incredible group of family and friends - it should be no surprise to us but we continue to be in awe of the sheer delight and generosity that has been demonstrated in the cross country flights, multi-hour drives, daily phone calls and visits, ridiculously generous gifts, and parties that have been thrown to welcome Olivia. The past three weeks have been especially eventful.

The second weekend of the month brought a visit from Uncle Nick, all the way from San Francisco! Olivia had a Saturday with the boys (daddy, Nick and Paul) while her mom enjoyed some time to herself in honor of Mother's Day (thank you so everyone who so generously recognized Karen's first mother's day!) On the heels of Nick's departure we welcomed a houseful for celebration of Olivia's baptism. Karen's parents, Melissa and Peter arrived, as did all of our extended family - the Reale's (all the way from San Diego!), Alicia and her mom (PA), Beth (Richmond), the Farley family (NYC). Of course (almost) all of our local family was here for the festivities as well - Joel's parents, the Hepps, Uncle Gaby, Paul, the Moseley's and the Takata/Wallers (we missed the Helmreichs who were on a trip to FL!) As Liesl stated, Olivia already has her church manners and she was very alert and participative in the ceremony. Aunt Melissa and Uncle Gaby are Olivia's godparents (lucky little girl!) and our mom's created a family feast complete with lumpia, flan, baked ziti and sausage and peppers to enjoy following the ceremony! Olivia demonstrated that she is indeed going to be a party girl, refusing to go up for a nap so that she could enjoy the full festivities.

We were lucky enough the hold on to the Reales for a few extra days of visiting which then led into party Saturday! Olivia's first Memorial Day weekend was kicked off with two celebrations. Our friends at Cross Fit Old Town threw us a joint shower (with Melanie and Jason, expecting at the end of the month) in the morning, and Erin, Beth, and Lori hosted a Sip & See for Olivia in the afternoon. The Sip & See even had Texas BBQ in honor of Olivia's birth state! Our friends think of everything...It was a fabulous set of events and the whole Angeles family had a blast.

Other remarkable things across the last three weeks - Olivia had her first play date (with Vera Hinshaw, born 1/20/08), she weathered her two month shots (she may have handled it better than Karen), began a fabulous trend of sleeping through the night (YES!), has found her hands and is grasping and batting at toys. She has also began to try to hold her bottle and she LOVES to stand up (see pictures). She is a very assertive little one - and SO happy!

Lots of pictures to enjoy below.

Weeks Nine and Ten:

Olivia Week 5 & 6 (9 & 10 Weeks)

Olivia's Baptism:

Olivia's Christening May 18, 2008

May 24th Parties:

Olivia's May 24th Parties!

Week 4 - Olivia's officially two months old!

noreply@blogger.com (Karen and Joel) — Tue, 06 May 2008 22:21:00 +0000

We think we are starting to get the hang of things. Olivia has settled into a bit of a routine (much to Karen's delight - another scheduled female in the house) and we've assumed a new way of life. We've welcomed back some old habits (a return to making dinners nightly and working out!) and introduced some new ones (evening family walks during fussy time, some lasting upwards of two hours). Olivia is developing by leaps and bounds. She REALLY holds her head up now - see for yourself in the pictures, and she turns it from side to side! She is also reaching and grabbing for things, and she is one smiley little girl. That smile and the associated giggle is the best thing we've EVER experienced!

Olivia officially turned two months old on May 5th and in this past week attended two parties (one thrown in honor of her by Karen's office, the other to celebrate her Uncle Joe turning 40!) She also attended her first Nats game and really enjoyed the new stadium! We continue to have lots of visitors from near and far that we are so thankful for! Ari and Sheri visited from Colorado, and lots of locals - Jen and Gee, the DePippo family, Scott and Kira, Emily... Tomorrow we hit the pediatrician for our two month shots and then we get ready to welcome Uncle Nick from San Fran!

Check out this weeks pics! (Just click on the picture below)

Olivia Week 4 (8 Weeks)

Week 2 & 3 - Lots of Firsts!

noreply@blogger.com (Karen and Joel) — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 20:41:00 +0000

Things are moving right along with settling into a new world with Olivia. We've had lots of visitors and "firsts" since Olivia has arrived home with us. Many of those firsts are a little more clean and enjoyable than the poop up the back encountered in week one. Across the last two and a half weeks we've welcomed Karen's mom and sister Melissa (at separate times), we've visited with Joel's family (the whole gang!), we've welcomed friends from close (Paul, Erin, the Helmreich's, the Takata-Wallers, Bambi, KP, Libbie, Kara and Ben, Devin and Addison, Jen and Gee) and from far (Beth and Madeleine, Kristin Steele). We've also made our first trip to the park with the Matthews and Feldner families, our first trip to the mall with Alysa and Vera, and lots of lunches and local errands. We've only logged one public meltdown - in the post office attempting to mail Olivia's announcements. This past Friday we even managed to get out, thanks to Grandma and Papa Angeles, to celebrate our five year wedding anniversary!

Olivia is growing so much - she's a champ at holding up her head, she can basically stand on her own (well, with a little help), she is a smiling machine, and she is really loving time on her activity mat. We are really having a blast!

Here's our latest pictures (all you have to do is click on the picture below to see all of them!)

Olivia Week 2 & 3 (6 & 7 weeks old)

Week 1 - We made it!

noreply@blogger.com (Karen and Joel) — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 01:45:00 +0000

Officially a week as parents and we survived! Karen's mom helped us out tremendously with her seasoned maternal instincts. She also fed us very well as we completely neglected ourselves this past week. We have had several visitors come by to meet little Miss Olivia. Olivia was gracious enough to be awake for some of these visits. And during some of these visits, she actually managed not to cry too much.

We also had several firsts in the Angeles household. Our first family walk through the neighborhood. Our first trip to a restaurant for lunch. And of course, our first poo out the diapers and up the back. That was sweet. I've never seen shit do that before. It is very exciting here in Alexandria, down the hill and off the circle on Chalfonte Drive.

All kidding aside, Olivia is doing fantastic and we love it! We are definitely exhausted from the adjustment to the eat, sleep, poo routine but we wouldn't have it any other way. Here are some pics from the past week.

Enjoy,
Joel

Olivia Week 1 (5 weeks old)

Thank you!

noreply@blogger.com (Karen and Joel) — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 16:31:00 +0000

Thank you all for all the kind words and remarks. We are blessed to have so many fabulous friends and supportive families. Here's a link to more pictures. Enjoy!

Olivia Mia Angeles

Welcome Olivia Mia Angeles!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Karen and Joel) — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 23:16:00 +0000

The day has finally come! No more legal hurdles, no more wondering, no more mystery! Olivia Mia Angeles is officially in the house! Well, we are still in Texas at the Westin by DFW, but you know what I mean. What a crazy, crazy day but everything well worth it! Here are a few pics and I will post more as we go. But here are a few to get your appetite whet.

Olivia Mia

noreply@blogger.com (Karen and Joel) — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 22:38:00 +0000

Olivia Mia was born March 5th! She was a very healthy 6lbs 10oz and 19 inches. Everybody is doing exceptionally well. We have run into several legal road bumps but nothing I don't think we can't get past. So with a little help from up above, we should be heading down to Texas April 7ish and will be able to come home with Ms Olivia Mia Angeles a day or two later!

Game, Set, Match!

noreply@blogger.com (Karen and Joel) — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 15:20:00 +0000

Again, I apologize for the spotty update, but this time I have a little more to report. Before I get into the update, I do want to report that I did see Juno and I actually really enjoyed it. There are some really ridic adoption scenarios in the movie but it was a very entertaining movie. And when I say ridic, i mean scenarios that would just never happen in a real adoption process. Put some of the fiction aside, there are some hilarious scenes and a coupla scenes that actually made me think they modeled some of it after us:-) Karen hasn't seen it yet, I told her to wait to watch it after our process is over so we can watch the whole thing through and be able to laugh about it. So with that in mind, I am going to delay my critique of the movie for a coupla months.

So back to the latest report! We are matched!!! What that means is we have come to an agreement with a birth mother to make an adoption plan for her daughter with us! I did say 'daughter' and I did say 'with us'! So before I go into some of the details, I do want to say that as we are excited, we are also very cautiously optimistic. Even though everybody is in full agreement with the adoption plan, we understand that a lot of things still need to happen from now until we can bring home our first daughter!!!

So with that in mind, our baby girl is due March 3rd! Shortly after the holidays, Karen and I decided that it has been several months since we have been approved and we wanted to get ourselves in front of our case worker Melissa a little bit more. We understood that it is still early in the process, but if she is going to be an advocate for us she'll have to get to know us better. With that in mind, we decided we would start calling Melissa to try to get a better understanding of where we are in the process and get a better expectation of when we could possibly start getting some action. Karen had a call with Melissa sometime the week of January 7th. While it was a good conversation, she gave us the expectation that we may not hear anything at all until summer or even fall! With that in mind, we reset our internal expectations and started planning more trips and activities to make this time go by quicker. Melissa did tell Karen to plan a huge expensive trip that can't be refunded b/c inevitably that is when you get a call:-) So we have been waffling over a trip to Vail in March that we put the full court press in planning. Almost exactly the next day after solidifying our ski trip for Vail, Melissa calls Karen and says they have a birth mother that they want to show our profile to. We were ecstatic about the news! My thought was that this is the first time our profile was being shown, so let's not expect too much from this. Melissa also set the same expectation, but that eitherway she will let us know of her decision. I think this was a Thursday. The weekend went by and I didn't think too much about it, however it consumed Karen! Wouldn't you know it but Karen's intuition was right on! The following Tuesday Melissa calls us and says that she loved our profiled and wanted to talk to us that night! Good thing we had only a 4 hour window to think about this call cuz it would have drove us through the roof about all the different possibilities! The call went wonderfully. She was the sweetest thing! It was refreshing to hear that she was as nervous about the call as we were.

The next day we get a call from Melissa and she informs us that we are officially matched! The birth mother had the same reaction to our phone call and she wanted to move forward with the adoption plan! So to solidify the match we were to fly down to Texas and meet the birth mother. So Super Bowl weekend, Karen and I flew out to Texas and met with our birth mother. It was an incredible meeting! It could not have went any better! After a lunch and a coffee in Texas we need to get ourselves ready for a March 3rd delivery!!!

Those are some of the details for now. I will add more as we move along!

Apologies and Juno

noreply@blogger.com (Karen and Joel) — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 18:57:00 +0000

Happy New Year! First of all, I would like to apologize for not posting any new updates since December 4th. I hadn't realized there were so many people actually clicking over to check up on us. With that in mind, unfortunately we don't have any new news to report.

So on that note, let's talk about Juno. Karen and I haven't seen it yet. We were told by a lot of friends and family to go see it but we have been hesitant. Karen stumbled over an article from an adoption/infertility periodical which confirmed our hesitancy. Our biggest concern is that y'all will see the movie and think you know what we are going through. I know that's not the case, but it is hard not to correlate the events of a touching story with what we may be going through. So I will, at some point in the near future, go see Juno and give one person's view as a waiting adoptive parent on what may or may not apply to our situation. Okay, here's the article.

Juno Commentary
By Bob Bamman, LCSW

The film Juno (Fox Searchlight Pictures, 2007), which is currently in
wide release, has garnered several independent film festival awards
and is indeed a moving, very funny, and—for those of us in the
adoption field—at times a very disturbing portrayal of a young teen
birthmother and her process of planning the private adoption of her
unborn child. Jennifer Garner and Jason Bateman play the supporting
roles of the adoptive parents with the lead role of birthmother Juno
being skillfully and beautifully acted by Ellen Page.

Emphasis on the word "acted"—this is a work of fiction, an important
point to be emphasized to the public in general and particularly to
those couples and individuals who are contemplating or in the process
of pursuing the adoption of a child through private domestic adoption.
The film succeeds in providing comic relief to a process that is
inherently intense, emotionally painful and profound to those
involved, and at once sad and glorious. After all, adoption is about
families being broken apart and new families being formed.

Early on in the film Juno is seen sitting on a park bench and
cavalierly going through adoptive parent classifieds in the local
PennySaver newspaper with a friend, reading and weighing the ads, many
of which are absurd. This is a moment that prospective adoptive
parents fantasize and agonize over with endless revisions of a 15-word
appeal that they hope will result in the baby of their dreams, and the
over-the-top ads add a welcome levity to the process without muddying
the line between fact and fiction.

Ultimately, Juno selects a prospective adoptive couple and a following
scene shows her and her father arriving at the doorstep of the
prospective adoptive parents' home to meet them. This is where the
film deviates from what has been the reality in open adoption for the
past 25 years—protective anonymity for all parties involved—and gives
us a glimpse into the future. Increasingly, primarily on the West
coast at this time, adoption professionals are removing this
cautionary anonymity and fully sharing the identity (last name) of
prospective-adoptive parents to prospective birthparents, and even
meeting at the prospective adoptive parent's home, as depicted in the
movie.

This emerging trend in open adoption represents a next step in the
ongoing evolution of open adoption, which has historically been built
on the concept of honesty and mutual respect for all parties involved
in the adoption process—prospective adoptive families, prospective
birthfamilies and, most importantly, the child. This is a powerful
idea, the merit of which is supported by family systems theory and
practice that views distrust and secrecy as antithetical to healthy
families.

However, for prospective adoptive parents, this new transparency in
open adoption as depicted in Juno could look very scary. The film
does not include the nuts-and-bolts of responsible adoption
practice—that of ongoing communication and negotiation of each
participant's role and boundaries within the proposed new adoptive
extended family. Does the adoptive family want the birthmother/couple
popping in at any time? Does the prospective birthfamily want that?
How much contact does each party want before and after the placement
of the child, and what kind of contact: pictures, emails, visits? How
frequently and where and for how long? These essential aspects of
responsible open adoption, with the well-being of the child as the
focus, are completely neglected in the film.

The result is a cinematic success, but leaves the impression of a
"shotgun" adoption, not an adoption plan that is carefully thought out
and orchestrated by the parties involved. This is important for
viewers to understand, particularly prospective adoptive parents.
Also know that an essential aspect of the process is free choice. At
any time prior to birth and the signing of adoption papers, either
party can decide to back out of the pre-adoption process if it doesn't
feel right for them. For the well being of the future adopted child
and adoptive family it is essential, particularly when identifying
information has been shared ether up front (as in the film) or further
into the process, that a mutually trusting relationship has been
established between prospective birth and adoptive parent(s). All
involved must understand and accept their roles and boundaries in this
unique extended adoptive family that is being formed. In practice
this is a lengthy and very carefully considered process orchestrated
by the professionals overseeing the adoption.

The character of Juno is at once funny and sad, a portrayal of a
pregnant teen who is largely in denial of the emotional gravity of the
profound act in which she is preparing to engage—that of relinquishing
her child at birth. Her denial is buttressed by her loving but quirky
and matter-of-fact father with a "let's get on with it" attitude and
her angry step mother who can't wait to eventually get Juno out of the
house so she can get a dog. Both are caricatures of loving but
disconnected parents of a pregnant teen who thinks she has it all
figured out, until her well laid plan takes an unexpected detour.

While this sort of blanket denial of the emotions of relinquishment in
adoption can at times be a realistic birthparent scenario, the fact
that no adults in this adoption—Juno's parents, the prospective
adoptive parents or the adoption lawyer—urged her to seek counseling
and really consider the gravity of the decision she is making is
another place where the film takes a blatant detour from the reality
of responsible adoption practice. To her fictional credit, Juno's
stepmother does at least once offer her some counsel regarding her
actions, letting her know that her jaunts to the prospective adoptive
parent's house to hang out are not appropriate. That is where any
realistic assistance to this pregnant teen and her huge decision to
relinquish her child ends. Adoption practice over the years has shown
that pregnant women/couples who are considering making an adoption
plan for their child, and who do not receive counseling to grieve the
losses associated with relinquishing a child, both before and after
childbirth, can have a greater incidence of depression in the years
following relinquishment. They can also be more likely to make
ill-considered snap decisions at birth that have life-long
consequences, whether they decide to proceed with the adoption or
decide to parent their child.

A responsible approach on the part of the writers and producers of
this film would have been to include some sort of disclaimer following
the film, at least acknowledging its fictional portrayal of adoption
practice and urging those interested in adoption, future parents of
both the "birth" and "adoptive" ilk, to consult a qualified adoption
professional. As a cinematic experience Juno is funny, heart
wrenching, and well acted, but prospective adoptive parents should go
in to it with the knowledge that it's portrayal of adoption practice
is largely inaccurate, and should be prepared to have their emotional
heart strings, often already frayed by infertility and disappointment,
further tugged on.

An active professional member of RESOLVE, Bob Bamman, LCSW,
facilitates workshops and coaching groups addressing the emotional
aspects of infertility, men's infertility issues and adoption. His
specialized clinical training includes infertility/adoption training
at the Karen Horney Institute, the Center for Family Connections
(Cambridge), and the Ackerman Institute for Family Therapy. A veteran
of the infertility experience and an adoptive parent, Bob maintains a
private practice located in mid-Manhattan, working with men, women and
couples. Bob also provides adoption consultation services and New
York State mandated pre-adoption home study services.

When the time comes, it will move quickly...

noreply@blogger.com (Karen and Joel) — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 01:58:00 +0000

So right off the bat, there is no new news. Still just waiting. However, shortly after posting my last entry we got a phone call from our social worker Melissa from the Gladney Center. She was just calling to check up on us and to remind us that she hadn't forgotten about us and that we shouldn't get down or frustrated because there is no movement. She pleasantly reminded us that they are working through several couples that have been waiting for decent amount of time and that she would be able to start showing our profile soon. So it is worth noting to you guys that we will know when our profile is being shown to a birth mother. Even though our profile has been finished for a while it still has not been shown to any birth mothers. Anytime our profile will be shown, Melissa will let us know the situation. She also continued to remind us that once that time comes, the process can move very very quickly. The extreme situation could be that we get a phone call that a mother has given birth, she decided not to keep the child, she fits our criteria and has decided that she wants us to adopt her child. Then a week later we are back in Virginia and are new parents. Odds are it won't happen that way, but the point is it could happen very quickly. The most likely scenario is that we will get a phone call that a birth mother is looking at our profile, she decides that we may fit what she is looking for in an adoptive parents and wants to talk with us. Several conversations later over a coupla weeks she decides that we are the adoptive parents she wants to adopt her child. A coupla months later, after she gives birth, we fly down to Texas, do some legal stuff, live out of a hotel for at least a week with a new born while all the legal stuff gets settled, and with a little luck, be able to fly home with our new born. I guess the point is, we won't have a nine month waiting period to bring home our new born, it will be more like a two-eight week notice. So while the average may be a year, it doesn't mean the process will take a year. So when the time comes, it will move quickly...

Topics to come but haven't had the time to post yet:
* Politically Correct Adoption terms. "Do you know your child's real parents?", is a bad thing to say.
* Sue Kimbal- Infant CPR instructor extraordinaire.

A gathering for waiting adoptive parents

noreply@blogger.com (Karen and Joel) — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 18:57:00 +0000

So last weekend we attended a reception for "waiting" adoptive parents in the Washington DC area hosted by one of the Gladney board memebers that lives in the area. By the way, Gladney Center for Adoption is the adoption agency we choose to help us find a birth mother. Anyway, we had received several invitations for social events hosted by Gladney but we had declined them because we didn't want to be surrounded by a bunch of happy parents that already had adopted thief children. However, this was the first event for "waiting" parents, so we decided to go, thinking it would be a good idea to share our stories and share in the anxiousness. Before attending the event, we told a friend about it and they gave us a completely different perspective. She said to us, "Ah, you get to meet the competition?" Good point Erin. These are the people that are standing in our way, preventing us from brining home our first child! Might as well do something about this! So at the reception, I got as many names and numbers as I could and immediately phoned them into my friend at the FBI and had him start writing up a bunch of citations! Just kidding. The reception was very good, and we met a bunch of really nice people. It's good to know there are a number of people out there in the same exact position as we are, we are just better looking: ) The reality is that even though there is a pool of waiting adoptive parents, they all have unique wants and needs. So that, hopefully, there isn't too many couples that are truly competing for the same potential birth mother. Or at least that's what they told us.

So what does that mean for us? No new news. We have been in the waiting pool since August of 2007. They tell us the average wait time is 12 months after being placed in the pool. What that really means is that 50% of the people are matched before 12 months and 50% of the people are matched after 12 months. There's no magic 12 month marker. We just hope, for whatever reason, we fall in the pre-12 month category.

Joel

Nevis

noreply@blogger.com (Karen and Joel) — Sat, 03 Nov 2007 19:48:00 +0000

We just got back from the Carribbean. We stayed at the Four Seasons in Nevis. It was absolutely fantastic! Hands down the best place we have been in the Carib. I will post the pics shortly. Still no news from the adoption front...

Online Profiles

noreply@blogger.com (Karen and Joel) — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 21:30:00 +0000

Here's our profile on parentprofiles.com and Gladney Center for adoption. We're out on the internet advertising!!!

http://www.adoptionsbygladney.com/html/parents/karenjoel/index.html

http://www.parentprofiles.com/profiles/db21559.html

How's the adoption process going?

noreply@blogger.com (Karen and Joel) — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 21:15:00 +0000

As of today, October 23, 2007, we are in the pool. The first time we heard the term "in the pool" was at the 'Parent Prep 1 Adoption Seminar'. Essentially that means we have finished all the paper work, cleared all criminal background checks, passed the home visit, officially approved to be adoptive parents, and are in the waiting pool with all the other cleared parents. We've been in the pool for about 2 months now. We are trying to balance the anxiousness of not hearing anything and savoring the life of a DINK (Double Income No Kids). It's a tough balancing act but we are coping.

So we are consuming ourselves with work, training and vacationing. Within the last few weeks, we spent a long weekend in San Fran/Napa Valley, Karen ran the Army 10 miler, I was in Vegas for a fight, I'm running the Marine Corps Marathon this coming weekend, and we are going to Nevis next week for some sun. We gotta keep ourselves busy!

A personal request...

noreply@blogger.com (Karen and Joel) — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 21:02:00 +0000

Here is the letter that many of you may have received from us. If you know of somebody looking for an adoption plan for their child, feel free to forward on.

Joel

Dear Family and Friends:

We are excited to share with you our plans to build our family through adoption. As many of you know we have been talking for a long time about bringing a child into our home. It has been quite an emotional journey getting to this point in our lives, and now we are ready to proceed toward a fulfilling future. We have done a great deal of preparation and research about the adoption process and have discovered that, in the United States, most newborn children are placed for adoption through "independent", or "private" adoption.

"Independent", or "private", adoption means that as a first step we will be searching on our own for a birth mother who has an unplanned pregnancy and who wishes to make an adoption plan for her child. The adoption laws in Virginia indicate that anyone can help us locate a birth mother, and we have learned from the experience of others that birth mothers and adoptive parents often connect through word of mouth. As such we are reaching out to as many people as we can to ask them to keep us in mind if they learn of a pregnant woman who wishes to make an adoption plan. We write to you today for this purpose, we hope that you can help us in this way.

If you know of a birth mother who wishes to make an adoption plan, please don't hesitate to tell us about her and her about us. We would love to answer any questions that you may have - feel free to contact us directly. You may also feel free to pass on our first names and the following email address: kjadoption@gmail.com to the birth mother should she be interested in contacting us. Additionally, feel free to forward this email to any of your family or friends that you believe may help support our effort.

We thank you for keeping us in mind and supporting us as we start this journey.

Karen and Joel