Late Saturday night, he was driving near his home when he came upon a person whose car was broken down in the road—a two-lane with no shoulder, ditches on each side. As he was helping the driver, along with two other people from a nearby home who had come out, a pickup full of high school teens, reportedly drinking and driving too fast, plowed into them all. The impact killed all four people standing beside the car.

Many years ago, when my wife and I first moved into that small Texas town and joined a church, we started hearing about “this kid” who was always there when the doors were open, but was constantly getting into some kind of mischief. BJ was “that kid.”

But as with so many of us headed down the wrong road, Jesus entered the picture and BJ’s life made a radical change. He ended up becoming a youth pastor, having a heart for “those kids” just like he was, in this same town where he grew up.

Today, BJ was well respected in the community among Christians and non-Christians. And no one—no one—was surprised to hear he had stopped to help a stranger. And, ironically, one of “those kids” caused his entry into Heaven. The very kids he lived to help and to see come to know the Jesus he himself had met.

Several years ago, BJ came to me to help him improve in a particular area—just a life skill that he wanted to get better at and felt I could help him. After a few months and major strides forward, he stopped by my office to thank me for my help and to share all that God had done for he and his family in this area. I thought to myself then, and I was reminded Sunday morning, who does that anymore? Who stops to graciously thank someone for their help and to report how God had moved in his life? Who stops to help someone in a potentially dangerous circumstance? Well, BJ did. That was the kind of man that Jesus had made Him; the kind of man who would humbly thank someone; the kind of man who would stop at midnight to assist a stranger; the kind of man who wanted to see every kid in his sight find what he had found in his teens—the God Who changes everything.

Saturday night, the world lost a good man; a warrior for Christ passed from the battleground to the palace; a pastor who loved every sheep God placed in his care entered the presence of The Good Shepherd. Whether 41 or 81, that’s quite a legacy. And, you know, in light of Scripture and I’m sure BJ would agree, we’re all one of “those kids” until we choose to become one of His kids.

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord forever. —Psalm 23:6 NLT

As men in this push-and-shove culture, the stress of life—bills, insurance, budgets, deadlines, expectations, failures, let-downs—it all mounts up to becoming all too familiar with negative emotions. A sense of excitement and hope can become strangers to us. We throw around phrases like, “Yeah, man, I’m pumped!”, “Stoked about this weekend!”, “Really fired up about working on that new project!”, more as patronized marketing than authentic exhilaration.

Last year, I met the guy who owns the biggest, most popular Harley shop in Nashville. Some of his more well-known clients are Tim McGraw and Toby Keith. So I asked him if he could tell me his demographic sweet spot, the guy that all the marketing is after, the guy who will actually walk in and drive out on one? He quickly answered, “Oh, yeah, it’s a 53-year-old white middle to upper class male. That’s my guy.” Then I asked him, “What’s your biggest marketing issue?” He answered, “The next generation of American males coming up. How do I get them to want a Harley too?”

The next time you’re out driving around on a weekend, check out the average age (by appearance) of the guys you see riding Harley’s. I think the marketing plan is working. White collar and tie on Friday, leather vest and bandana on Saturday—bad boys from the ‘burbs.

Now, cashing in some 401k for two weekend wheels isn’t a bad thing to do, to try and create some enjoyment and live some life. Unfortunately, so many men create their own brand of excitement in the wrong way when life just won’t seem to provide an opportunity for a little adrenaline any more.

When was the last time you got legitimately excited about an opportunity, an event, or a relationship? What does it take to excite you these days? What makes you lose sleep in a good way or wake up rarin’ to go, because you just can’t wait for something?

If you have an answer, then the next question is, is it a good thing, a positive thing? If your answer is like my own recent realization and it’s hard to recall the last time you felt that way, let’s figure out what part of abundant we’re missing out of life? What needs to be put in place to stop the life being sucked out? What needs to go to make time for what counts? What makes us live now and not die slowly?

This life is all about balance and when we stop getting excited about living it, it’s up to us to get with God and make a change—in the right way for the right reasons. And it’s likely more about where we’re walking than what we’re driving.

I came so {you} might have life, a great full life. —John 10:10b NLV

In Luke 9, we see three different people encounter Jesus and the subject discussed was following Him. The first person says, “Jesus, I’ll go anywhere with you.” The second person asked to go finish up family business and then he’d catch up later. The third offered a very similar thought.

We tend to focus quite a bit on Jesus calling His disciples—the ones who obeyed. We don’t spend as much time on those who offered up excuses as to why this was not the best time in their schedules to follow the Messiah. You can almost hear our own culture echoed in this passage . . . “Let me finish school.” “Let me get married and settle down, then I’m all in.” “Let me get the business up on its feet first.” “Let me get the kids through college, then we can really focus on ministry.” “Let me retire, then I’ll minister to anyone you want me to.”

Then, and now, Jesus confronts, calls, and hears excuses.

When we read His responses to the three in this passage, He sounds rather harsh. But the language is not rude, it’s urgent. Passionate. Not for later, but right now.

In Matthew 4, we see Jesus encounter two brothers. They were involved in the family business with Dad. Family—all good. Career—in place. Jesus says, “Follow me,” and they “dropped their nets and followed.” These men didn’t make excuses, but became examples forever of faith in action. They went on to start the church we all attend today.

What do you suppose those three with the excuses missed out on? They never knew. The world never knew. That’s the big problem with excuses.

Daily, we have the choice to offer excuses to Jesus, or become examples for Jesus.

Jesus answered, “Anyone who starts plowing and keeps looking back isn’t worth a thing to God’s kingdom!” —Luke 9:62 CEV

Eyes forward. Keep plowing. Be an example.

I was at an event this week in Nashville where Tom Jackson spoke. Tom is well-known and respected as a live event consultant who has worked with over 300 artists and bands to improve  and expand their live stage performance. Everything from teaching a lead singer how to connect with the audience to creating visuals for a world tour.

Tom told the story of standing in the line at a Starbucks, realizing he was behind an artist whose record label and management team were in the process of hiring him to coach the singer. So Tom introduced himself and said, “Hey, your people have asked me to get with you soon to work on your live show.” He said the artist folded his arms and responded, “Why?! My live show rocks.”

None of us would be terribly surprised by someone in the entertainment business acting like that. But when I heard this story, I began to think about us as men and our pride regarding whatever each of us would consider to be our “show.” Because we all got a “show.” Whether it be God Himself, or someone wiser and stronger in the faith, saying to us, “Hey, I can really help you with this area,” too often our response is, “Why?! My show rocks.”

Here’s the question today . . .
What areas of your life do you think “rock” so much that you need no one’s help? Where are you looking at God, or someone else, and trying to convince that the “show” is amazing?
Here’s 3 ways to make sure our show really does rock . . .

1-Be certain God is always the One determining what the “show” is.

2-Listen to those smarter and wiser than us, who know the “show” far better than we do.

3-Allow other men to be honest with us about our “show”—if it stinks or if its awesome. And listen to them.

Your statutes are my delight; they are my counselors. —Psalm 119:24 NIV

Refuse good advice and watch your plans fail; take good counsel and watch them succeed. —Proverbs 15:22 MSG

With the news events unfolding over the past two weeks, people are asking—well, at least wondering—this question: “Who is my neighbor? Am I missing something horrible going on in my neighborhood?” I read one story about a pastor who was going through his subdivision, knocking on doors, just introducing himself to his neighbors. Was his motive to find bad guys? Likely not, he was just compelled to take some sort of pro-activity.

It would actually be easy these days to become paranoid and begin to assume anyone we don’t know well is likely up to no good, maybe even pure evil. But wait . . . quite a few people said, “I knew this guy and he seemed very normal. I had no idea he was capable of this.” So then we start to suspect even those who appear normal, thinking the normalcy is just a disguise. Crazy, huh?

As Christians, God never wants us back on our heels, reacting on impulse, being on the defensive with the culture. Jesus certainly never was.

Scripture has always been clear about how we deal with our neighbors. And, as He often did, Jesus redefined our words. He said “neighbor” was not just the person next door, but everyone you encounter. Your neighbor at the office sharing the copier; Your neighbor at the grocery store sharing the aisle; Your neighbor at church on the same pew; Your neighbor three doors down, around the corner, even the next block.

So, in light of recent horrific events, how do we respond as Christians?

1—Love God and love people.

Simple, but still just as true today. Love is involved, not isolated. Love is engaged, not retreating. Love is active, not passive.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” —Mark 12:30-32 NIV

2—Don’t look the other way. Pay attention.

 There are so many circumstances today that could have been stopped had someone just acted on their instinct, gut, or the still, small voice. Maybe not all; but certainly some.

“I am sending you out like sheep with wolves all around you. Be wise like snakes and gentle like doves. —Matthew 10:16 NLV

3—Live as a victor, not a victim.

As our world culture takes on more and more of a victim mentality, this creates an “every man for himself” mindset. Our isolationism quickly overrides our activism. In the end, we win, so we have every opportunity to live, think, and act like it.

Victors change the outcome of the game, while victims complain about the rules and the score.

Victors get involved, risking offense, while victims stay out, assuming people deserve what they get.

Victors impact the culture, while victims are absorbed in it.

 For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith. —1 John 5:4 NLT

Then on Sunday, I heard pastor Pete Wilson make the statement that we should focus on giving, not getting.

Biblically, this all makes total sense and ties together nicely.

Here’s a very tough, but simple challenge for us all this week . . .

Daily, maybe hourly, let’s ask ourselves two questions:

In this marriage, relationship, friendship, career, job, business deal, church, ministry, setting, or situation, am I focused on . . .

1—Producing or consuming?

2—Giving or getting?

It may be scary how often we realize that we are focused on “what’s in this for me?” It may be scarier still if we realize we are trying to make consuming look like producing. Or a “get” look like a gift. Actually, our flesh can get fairly good at that disguise.

So, what do we do if we discover our motives and goals are completely off with someone or in an area of life?

We may need to . . .

. . . ask God to forgive.

. . . ask forgiveness from someone.

. . . put an end to a situation, relationship, or business deal.

. . . get some counseling or pastoral help.

. . . put some principles in place.

. . . create some accountability.

. . . change some policies.

. . . say no to something.

. . . say yes to something.

. . . ask God for wisdom.

This week, let’s give. In this life, let’s produce, like men of God.

When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father. —Jesus in John 15:8 NLT

That sentence struck me and has stuck with me ever since. That’s a strong declaration for us all. That’s not about him; it’s about mankind. Sin—especially when it becomes repetitive or habitual—begins to have a controlling factor, making us into an offender that we don’t like. The Jekyll and Hyde syndrome.

It’s interesting that all of us know exactly what he meant by “what that makes me.” It’s not just the sin itself, but also the residue it creates—guilt, shame, condemnation, and self-doubt, to name a few. And then there’s the distance we can allow it to create from our Heavenly Father.

How long do we take to ask for forgiveness? Wallow awhile in it? Stray further? Sin a little more, since we’ve already given in? Hide? Run?

It’s a good use of reflection and introspection time to ask, in all areas of temptation and sin, what is yours “making you”? Do you want to be “that?” And what residue might actually be affecting your life more than the sin?

My mentor often said, “The cross gives us the opportunity to not sin, whereas without it, we have no choice.”

No matter the temptations, sins, issues, addiction, problems, or residue that any of us struggle with, Christ’s death, resurrection, and redemption gives us hope, a way out, an answer. Does that make it easy? Of course not. But neither was dying on the cross and taking back the keys to Death and Hell.

Today, no matter how loud temptation is screaming your name or how horrible the enemy’s accusations are against you, know that Christ offers hope and forgiveness. The choice to not sin.

If any man says, “Well, you just don’t understand my problem. It’s different. I’ve gone too far.” If that is true, then what means is there is actually something that Jesus didn’t die for, something He can’t change, and that there is something that is impossible for God to do. I believe we all agree that is not true.

Don’t lose hope. Help is available. His name is Jesus. And contrary to the lie any of us may have bought into, He . . .

. . . is faithful and we can depend on Him to forgive us of our sins. He will make our lives clean from all sin. —1 John 1:9 NLV

“Wow, what an arrogant guy! Such a jerk.”

What makes the real difference in these two statements? In these two men? Let’s take a look, because it’s an often misunderstood area for us as guys.

1—Confidence tends to be quiet, while arrogance is usually loud.

Arrogant know-it-alls stir up discord, but wise men and women listen to each other’s counsel. —Proverbs 13:10 MSG

Getting loud—however that looks for our personality—usually means we leave confidence and move on to arrogance.

2—Confidence allows others to speak, while arrogance interrupts.

Pride first, then the crash, but humility is precursor to honor. Answering before listening is both stupid and rude. —Proverbs 18:12-13 MSG

Confidence actively listens to what others are saying. Arrogance appears to be listening, but is actually just looking for the next place to speak.

3—Confidence waits for others to recognize his victory, while arrogance announces the score to anyone who will listen.

Love is kind and patient, never jealous, boastful, proud, or rude. —1 Corinthians 13:4 CEV

Praises sung always sound best from another mouth.

4—Confidence is like a good offense, while arrogance is like a bad defense.

But let us who live in the light be clearheaded, protected by the armor of faith and love, and wearing as our helmet the confidence of our salvation. —1 Thessalonians 5:8 NLT

Anytime we find ourselves acting arrogantly, it is always a defensive tactic. Confidence is pro-active. Arrogance is counter-active.

5—Confidence is found in Christ, while arrogance is focused on self.

Christ now gives us courage and confidence, so that we can come to God by faith. —Ephesians 3:12 CEV

Arrogance and pride—distinguishing marks in the wicked— are just plain sin. —Proverbs 21:4 MSG

Gaining the understanding that our identity and hope are in Christ is a daily battle, but one that is worth the fight for what He can produce in us.

My heart is confident in you, O God; my heart is confident. —Psalm 57:7 NLT

Here are two thoughts for today as we fight this on-going battle.

1—Let God change your world—today.

Whatever He’s working on in you, whatever He’s trying to change in you—cooperate. It’s interesting how as we obey and grow, we become more motivated to join Him in loving, reaching, and touching others for Him. In short, when we put Jesus in, Jesus is what comes out.

2—Change someone’s world—today.

It can be intimidating and daunting to “change the world,” but what about finding just one person today that you can impact. An encouraging word, a helping hand, a smile and a compliment, a display of compassion, a call to check on someone, a thank you note, a quiet hug, on and on.

Simple things we can do to step out of our comfort zone and out of our isolation to reach into someone’s world and show the love of Christ can, indeed, change the world for the better. Ours and theirs.

What if for the rest of this week, every day, you told someone the truth about themselves? Not patronizing or manipulating, but if they’re good at something, tell them. If they look sharp, tell them. If they have a positive quality, tell them.

Seek out who it is. Say it. See what happens.

Let’s invite God to work in us and then allow Him to work through us. Simple? Yeah. Easy? No. The right thing to do? Absolutely. If you really want to change the world.

 If we can serve others, we should serve. If we can teach, we should teach. If we can encourage others, we should encourage them. If we can give, we should be generous. If we are leaders, we should do our best. If we are good to others, we should do it cheerfully. Be sincere in your love for others. Hate everything that is evil and hold tight to everything that is good. —Romans 12:7-9 CEV

Years ago, the band I was in led worship on many occasions prior to Dave Busby speaking. Dave eventually died from cystic fibrosis, after ministering valiantly to thousands for many years while battling the disease.

When Dave spoke to a men’s group, he would always say, “If at the end of this conference, you have 20 things on a list that you need to change, then Satan gave you the list, because you’ll go home, get overwhelmed, and do nothing. But God is going to tell you your one thing that He wants you to work on. Watch for your one thing during our time together.”

I saw the deep truth of that statement and I now carry this principle and advice on when I speak to men. Just this past weekend speaking at an event, during the breaks, as well as after my conference was over, I had men come up and say, “Hey, I got my one thing and I’d like to share it with you.” Now, it’s interesting, because I just tell guys the concept and to watch for theirs. I don’t say “and when you get it, come up and tell me.” But anytime I speak, I always have several guys come to me and share what the Lord revealed to them. There’s always a degree of surprise, conviction, and determination visible in and on them as they share. I know, for those men, the confession creates accountability and sets a goal of moving forward with what God has shown them.

There’s an amazing moment when a man is listening for God to speak, Scripture and an issue are introduced, the Holy Spirit makes the connection, and he responds in obedience.

So, two questions today . . .

1—When was the last time you put yourself in the position to allow God to tell you your “one thing” for this season in life?

2—Are you too distracted and overwhelmed by the “20 things” that Satan keeps hammering you with?

Once God sees us making progress on our “one thing,” He will gracefully show us the next. That’s because He’s a loving Father Who will not exasperate His children or give them more than they can handle. A counselor friend of mine always says, “You peel an onion one layer at a time, so we should allow God to do with our issues in life.”

Brothers and sisters, I know that I have not yet reached that goal, but there is one thing I always do. Forgetting the past and straining toward what is ahead . . . —Philippians 3:13 NCV