Knitty Love

But I'm happy...

noreply@blogger.com (KnittyKitty) — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 13:01:00 +0000

In thinking about how I wanted to begin this series on finding direction from God, I've run into a couple of unexpected road blocks. The umbrella dilemma is that I'm happy...happy being a problem, yeah, that's a new one. Basically, my being so happy with my "job" makes it extremely difficult to spend time focusing on how I can be happy outside of work as well. So a little bit of background, I am now in my 3rd week of internship at a local high school and I couldn't be more sure that I'm where God wants me and that I'm following my calling. Funny how that takes away the urgency to find a partner.
The need to seek God's direction doesn't come until the weekends, when suddenly I don't have a set schedule or a purpose and I go through the motions of life zombie-like. So my mission is then to seek direction in how to create a life outside of work. It's not that I don't have great friends, or a family only an hour away that always wants to spend time with me. Instead, it's about needing some sort of purpose outside of being a teacher. Thinking about my future life time of "free" summers, I know that developing this now will reap a life time of rewards.

So anyway, here it goes...
"God told me who to marry, where to work, which car to buy...and I'm pretty sure I'm not crazy: learning to listen for guidance from God" by Jim Samra

I'll start by saying that God definitely told me to be a teacher. I cannot give any other explanation for having a completely out of the blue change of heart career-wise while driving home from work a couple of years ago. Now that I think about it, I'm almost surprised that I hadn't until now thought to ask God how to find purpose outside of my career...I've certainly asked loads of people...

Samra makes a point to differentiate between making moral decisions and non-moral life decisions. Moral decisions should be guided by our relationship with Christ and having Him living in and through us. But non-moral life decisions cannot be easily discerned from simply living a Christ-like life.

In the first chapter, "What is guidance from God?", Samra addresses 2 common concerns that modern Christians have in regards to explicit, specific guidance from God:

1. "Aren't those passages simply describing what happened in the past, not prescribing what we are to expect in the present?"
>>"all Scripture, including narratives from the Old Testament, is given by inspiration of God and is profitable for revealing God to us and communicating how God wants us to live today."
It certainly is amazing how often people willserendipitously come across a passage in their daily reading that speaks volumes to their current life situation. Time to get back to my morning scripture time!

2. "of course God guided and directed Saul, Nehemiah, Jesus, and Philip. They were important Bible characters, central to what God is doing in history. But I am not important enough for God to guide me."
>> "In James 5:13-16 God wants to encourage ordinary, everyday people like you and me to turn to prayer, so he has James tell a story from the life of Elijah. Anticipating our 'But Elijah's important; I'm not!' argument, James continues with, 'Elijah was a man just like us' (v. 17)."
Lest we still don't get the message, Samra adds, "there are no extraordinary people - just an extraordinary God."
I think that statement pretty much speaks for itself - a powerful and uplifting message to remember.

'Til next time...

Finally setting off on the road back...it's about time

noreply@blogger.com (KnittyKitty) — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 04:21:00 +0000

          I've been doing an awful lot of thinking over the past few weeks and not near enough listening. It's funny how thinking too much can make you feel pretty terrible...the old adage "you're overthinking it" comes to mind. In a similar vein, I frequently have to tell my students that they're thinking too hard about how to answer a question. It would seem that thinking a lot would be a healthy thing for giving the brain a workout, but good gracious it wreaks havoc on the heart.
          Even when it comes to God and what His presence in my life means to me, I over think it. I start focusing on the fact that God has a plan for my life and a purpose and that He knows what's best for me. Starts out as a really great thought, but then it becomes, "What if God's best for me is to be single for my entire life?" Yeah, I would say thinking too much is my worst personal vice. Instead of dwelling on all the "bad" possibilities for my future, I just need to trust and be patient...even though the trusting and being patient is getting mind-numbingly difficult.
          But as I mentioned in my last post (back in November), waiting in its truest form is an active thing. So with that in mind, you'll be seeing consistent posts again. I'll be going through the book I mentioned on that last post and writing about it here.
          Time to start listening, and see what God has to say...

Finding the Road Back

noreply@blogger.com (KnittyKitty) — Mon, 19 Nov 2012 02:42:00 +0000

NOTE: Don't be discouraged by the first paragraph!

Isn't it strange how a huge chunk of future time can be behind us before we know it? That was this last month for me. There have been moments of clarity in the whirlwind...times when I felt direction and everything made sense...but they were always fleeting. For the past week I've been trying to find the road back. Back to a place where I find God in everything, have contentment and peace with my life circumstances, and overflow with a passion and joy for the things that I love. Emotions and feelings crowd out all logical thoughts and I'm left sick, both physically and spiritually. I have to get out...I have to remember what it is that makes this world so wonderful. It hurts to flounder - aching heart and anxious nerves and stomach. It seems like every opportunity I have to reach up and get out of the pit gets devoured and I'm left floundering again. I'm losing track of myself and my life in the process. Where do I start to find a way back?

I was recently having a conversation with someone who mentioned Jars of Clay and, having realized that I hadn't listened to this favorite band of mine in forever, I took a new look at my Jars of Clay collection. Wow! If you haven't taken a really good look at their album "The Long Fall Back to Earth," it's a must do. While still a different sound than their earliest work, the artistry is back and beautiful. The lyrics are powerful and embedded in reality. I feel like I could define my life by placing every one of these songs in some sort of paralleling chronological order. The songs on this album have been doing so much for me in finding the road back. "Forgive Me," for example, seems to be exactly where I am right now.

I also decided to start chipping away again at my Kindle library by reading one of the many random free Christian books that I've downloaded. I began "God Told Me" by Jim Samra, and this choice had to have been a divine one. I have longed for years to find a book that covers the idea of discovering God's direction in one's life, and every book I've tried on the subject has failed miserably at the task by being too vague, too specific, or too out there. This book is miles better in comparison. I can't begin to describe the degree of direction this book has provided me with. I've been waiting and waiting for oh so long for certain things to become clear. While some of these things have become clear over the past couple of years, other worries still remain. And...I wait...wait for understanding and a clear path for what to do next. I know it seems like a lot to ask, and I know plenty of people who would just say that all of my possible future bad experiences will help me with my decisions beyond that. But I've had more bad experiences than I can count on both hands, and so I'm ready...ready for direction and understanding. I'm done with waiting and ready for the action verb that is patience. Here in stepped this fabulous book...there will be more to come for sure...

To round things out, I want to share what I just read in my newspaper horoscope for June 30th. "It takes two to tango. Team up with others to muddle through mundane tasks - or invite a friend along on what would otherwise be a routine errand." While I read them just for kicks, I think this one is something I should take to heart. Living alone does have its advantages, but it can be oh so isolating.

So here I am, trying to find the road back. I don't know how long it'll take - Lord knows I hope everything will come together soon. I've taken so many wrong turns (or maybe these were just "educational sidetrips") and am so done with them. But if it's what He has in store for me, then I'm all for it. Regardless, I will ask Him for clarity and a sense of direction, knowing that He gives to all those who ask (Matthew 21:22).

-For those who feel the urge, I would be honored to have your prayer. For those who haven't seen me in awhile, I've been out of town a lot doing some very exciting things, so don't let this post worry you too much...I love you all.

My Journey into "7"

noreply@blogger.com (KnittyKitty) — Sun, 09 Sep 2012 13:32:00 +0000

Good morning all! I hope everyone has had a fabulous past week :-) I'm still loving school and loving my GA-ship - although my time has been devoured...obviously. Regardless, I'm going to try and set aside some time everyday for blogging because I find that it really does keep me focused and happy (see this post).

Anyway, I recently joined the Bloom Book Club from (in)Courage and was extremely fortunate to receive a free copy of Jen Hatmaker's 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess. Thank you so much for those who donated a copy!! This book details the author's journey into minimalism with the intention of letting more God into her life. Such an incredible inspiration.

Her categories include: food, clothing, shopping, waste, possessions, media, and stress. All great categories to think about...

She begins with food.

Hmmm...my daily interaction with food is one I am certainly NOT proud of. I eat out far too much and because of this, I eat beyond my means. I am in debt because of food!! I don't buy excessive amounts of clothes or tangible goods, but instead waste all of my money on meeting my cravings and desires for certain foods (which by their nature are gone in a flash). I've never put this reality into words before...what an eye-opener :-/

While I had originally planned on just passively reading the book and absorbing knowledge from blog posts discussing what others had learned, I find myself quite convicted at the moment. I think I may have to begin my own journey into these 7 categories of excess. Since this book club is doing a chapter a week and not a chapter a month, like the author, I will go along with them and delve into my excess a week at a time.

So I begin with food. I'm not going to pair down my food intake to only 7 items like Jen does, but instead am going to focus on not eating out for a week. This is so much harder than it may seem! As a graduate student in education, I am always on the move going to and from schools and of course my own classes at UA. I don't stay in one location all day and so don't have the luxury of a refrigerator to store a lunch. From my own personal experiences, having a non-perishable lunch of a granola bar, crackers, apple sauce, and tuna every single day is just not fun. I know my focus should not be on enjoying this, but if I'm going to make not eating out last, then I have to come up with a way to make it enjoyable enough to continue past just one week. I have to get out of debt! Some days I know I will have to resort to the above assortment of food, and when I look into my paper lunch bag and see the same boring items for the umpteenth time, I need to start praying and open up space for Christ to come in and work on me rather than selfishly say, "Hmmm...I really don't want that, I'll just grab *** from *** and be happily satisfied." I need to realize that this satisfaction really only lasts up until I get my credit card bill and see how many hundreds of dollars I've spent on my momentary cravings!

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. - Romans 13:8

The borrower is slave to the lender. When you are in debt to another, you enter into a slave/master relationship with your creditor. - Proverbs 22:7
And yet we are called to only be slaves to Jesus Christ!

Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. - Matthew 5:42
How can I follow this command if I myself have no money to give??

I'm being hit pretty hard at this very moment with the desire to visit my favorite post-Church restaurant for a delicious burrito or chimichanga and that wonderful pile of never-ending chips with salsa and queso dip...UGH!! But if I am to have enough money to give to those who are less fortunate than myself, then I really need to calm down and think clearly about my eating habits. The less I eat out, the sooner I can pay off my credit cards and actually have money to give.

May Christ work in me over the next week to be content in what I already have and to be creative in making dishes from what's already in the pantry! So I'm challenging myself to stick with making meals from what I already have (after I buy milk and bread today) for the next week - May God be with me...

Here's the book club post including a video of a discussion with the author.

Words of Wisdom from Mufasa ;-)

noreply@blogger.com (KnittyKitty) — Sat, 01 Sep 2012 15:01:00 +0000

So it's been ages since I last posted...school has definitely started back full steam. I'm incredibly excited about my courses so far though and my Graduate Assistantship is amazing! I have high hopes for a wonderful semester :-)

I've taken a bit of a break in organizing since what's left is not that visible and it's not stressing me out now to the point of having to get stuff done, which is good...and bad...lol. But when it's all complete, I'll be sure and show off the final results :-)

For now, I'd like to share some great quotes I came across in Mufasa's Little Instruction Book from Disney Press. Remember I said awhile back that I was going to post quotes from the quote books I'm donating? Well this is the first one::

- "Very little in life is black and white - except if you're a zebra!"

I think this has a lot of relevance in the ways that we interact with other people. We may assume that they are acting a certain way for a certain reason, but honestly, we have no idea what is truly going on in their lives.

Ngorongoro Crater, TZE [taken by me]

- "When a lion is wrapped up in himself, he makes a pretty small package."

I LOVE this one! It is so so true and a really great way of visualizing what happens when we only consider ourselves. We tuck ourselves in and don't allow ourselves to expand out to the people around us. How can we help and love others when we are wrapped up in a tight self-absorbed ball? (No matter how big our problems may be...) I really need to focus on this one, especially when the downward spiral starts to take hold...

Serengeti National Park, TZE - lion cub [taken by me]

- "The only way to have a friend is to be one."

Amen to that! Friendship takes time and effort on the part of both friends. It really sucks when you're the only one putting energy into the relationship - but when both parties are enthusiastic about caring for each other, neither person can help but feel loved.

- "Sometimes you have to be like a giraffe and stick your neck out to get what you want."

I'm going to keep this visual in mind for the future. Be like a giraffe!! A super important thing for meek, doormat me to remember... I need to stop expecting people to roll out the carpet for me and invite me to do things with them. If I want to do something, I need to start sticking my neck out there like a giraffe and make it known that I want to be a part of the group. It's incredibly painful to not be automatically, reflexively included but maybe after a few times of sticking my neck out, I will be :-/

Tarangire National Park, TZE [taken by me]

- "It's no good running swiftly if you are on the wrong path."
Doing this leads to simply falling flat on your face :-(

Serengeti National Park, TZE [taken by me]

- "To speak without thinking is to pounce without first seeing your prey."

An interesting way to look at it - if you speak without thinking first, then you've wasted your energy on something that may get you nowhere - or may set you back a few paces.

- "No lion can think clearly when his paws are clenched."

"Always think before you roar."

Don't act in anger. Let your feelings simmer down before you do something about them...

- "No one knows the story of tomorrow's dawn." - African proverb

A hopeful way to look at the future. We never know what great things might come across our path.

Tarangire National Park, TZE [taken by me]

That's all for now! But since I'm back in the swing of a non-Summer schedule,

I'll get back to posting regularly too :-) Glad to be back to writing.

Getting Unstuck in my walk with Christ - Day 28

noreply@blogger.com (KnittyKitty) — Wed, 22 Aug 2012 12:31:00 +0000

Well, today is the first day of the semester and it's about time to move on to something else here at Knitty Love. I'm going to do one more post in this series tomorrow, but after that I'm going to start something new :-)

Cleaning successes over the past couple of days>>
1. Instruction manuals/warranties - I had these laying around in the most random places!! Now I've loosely separated them into 2 expandable folders in my Financial Documents Box. My categories are "Electronics" and "Household" (although household does include various types of lights as well as electronic toys...don't judge!! lol)

2. Winter clothes - These were in the guest room closet, but I really don't want to keep any personal effects, except for decorations, in the guest room. Now they are in my hobby room closet and actually fit really well...and I found about 8 more clothing items to give away - yayness!

3. Wires - These are now all corralled in one small Rubbermaid box behind one of my VHS baskets. It looks so much better not to have wires jammed inside the basket, sticking out every which-a-way...

4. Addresses - I just went ahead and put addresses and phone numbers that I didn't want to get rid of into my computer's address book. Finally gettin' with the times I guess.

5. Ribbons/cording/string - I've decided to put all of my ribbons and various crafting cords and string into the same box with my cross-stitches-in-progress. There was plenty of room left over in the small chest I had these in and my ribbons, etc. used to be just free in my fabric chest, which is not too feasible for maintaining order...

Isn't this chest beautiful?! :-)

6. Hangers - I don't think I've mentioned this yet, but I've gotten rid of all the hangers that are shaped weird, too big, or from clothing stores (unless they're wooden like those from LOFT). Like I've briefly mentioned before, even if it's a useful product, it makes so much more sense to only keep the items that you really love.

And spiritual reflections >>>

Hebrews 2:17-18 [The Voice]::

17 He had to become as human as His sisters and brothers

so that when the time came,

He could become a merciful and faithful high priest of God,

called to reconcile a sinful people.

18 Since He has also been tested by suffering,

He can help us when we are tested.

One of the end-of-Chapter 12 questions asks the following in reference to the above passage, "Jesus, who also was tempted, understands what I'm going through. Does this truth help me to look Him in the eye when I sin? (Why, or why not?)
Honestly I have mixed feelings about my response. On one hand, I'm ashamed to look Jesus in the eye because He is SO much better than me! He knew how to resist, knew the scriptures to reference, and knew all the right answers. I am absolutely NOTHING compared to that! But that's the point isn't it? We are nothing without Him and the amazing reality of being a Christian is that He lives in us and in God's eyes we are righteous and as able to resist temptation as Jesus was. It is so incredibly difficult to remember this sometimes.
Also, Chapter 13 got me thinking about what my biggest sin trap is and it took me reading through the entire chapter and engaging in a number of Bible passages before my sin hit me. I never really saw it as sin before because I've always felt like my past history and circumstances and the feelings, self-thoughts, emotions, and descriptions of myself that went along with these experiences were truths about myself and were cycles that I would never be able to get out of. I'm not going to go into detail about what my sin trap is because obviously it's extremely personal, but I do want to say that I've felt worthless, useless, and degraded at times. I've convinced myself that a couple of things that happened to me in the past have forever shaped the ways that I am able to act in the present. That is SO FAR from the truth!!! I have Jesus inside of me and because He is my husband and friend, I do have worth - I am useful - I am beautiful and unique and was made the way I am because He desired it to be so! If I can just keep this reality in my heart and mind and soul, then I have the power to overcome even the most ingrained and intimate sin. That freedom is amazing and I am truly joyful that I have now seen my sin as sin and not as a helpless cycle born of my past.

In The Voice translation of John 14:6, Jesus says,

I am the path, the truth, and the energy of life.

No one comes to the Father except through Me.

The energy of life! This is so much more descriptive and powerful than the usual translation of simply "life". He is what makes life life. He moves and breathes and is within us. He is the energy that gives us the power to resist temptation and live Godly lives focused on things above. How could I then not approach Him differently?

Once again from The Voice, Jesus says in Matthew 11:29,

Put My yoke upon your shoulders -

it might appear heavy at first,

but it is perfectly fitted to your curves.

Learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble of heart.

When you are yoked to Me, your weary souls will find rest.

What an incredible reference to the fact that we are made exactly as Christ desired for us to be made! His yoke is perfectly fitted for each of us individually. He knows our past. He knows our problems and hang-ups. He knows the things that hurt us inside and that sometimes make daily life incredibly difficult. And because of this, He knows how to help us out of our individual temptations and out of our personal deep pits of sorrow. How thankful we should be for that reality!

I want to end with a powerful quote towards the end of the chapter, "When we confess our sins, God forgets them completely: He erases the board, shreds the evidence, and hits Delete. Getting clean from the past is a wondrous way to start the day. And time with God will make a difference." I'm pretty sure it was these few sentences that made me realize my personal sin trap and realize that I do have the power to get out of it, through Christ! Amen to that ;-)

State-of-mind pic of the day

Mount Mara, TZE -

where I lived with my Bangatan homestay family

[taken by me]

Getting unstuck in my walk with Christ - Day 27

noreply@blogger.com (KnittyKitty) — Tue, 21 Aug 2012 00:02:00 +0000

Wow, I cannot believe that it's already Monday and that the semester starts back in 2 days. While I am a little stressed out about all the things I need to do before the end of the day tomorrow, I'm still super excited about starting my classes... But it would've been nice if I'd had some kind of summer to speak of. At least I have some things to show for what I've accomplished this summer:
- A growing friendship with a fellow education student
- A huge pile of stuff to donate/sell
- A's in both Biochemistry and a terribly frustrating online course
Those 3 things make this past busy summer worth it :-)

So, what did I accomplish in cleaning yesterday??

1. Cross-stitch: I never thought about going through my crafting items to get rid of stuff because I, of course, automatically assume that I still want it all...HA! I filled up a grocery bag to bulging with cross-stitch to donate...why?
- Super old-fashioned
- Just not my style
- Gifts that are past their time
- Why in the world did I find this cute at one time?!?
- Would I really want to put this on my wall?
- Is there someone that I would really want to gift this to?

Now these 2 shelves look so much nicer :-)

2. Gift-wrapping bags (I had 3 of them!): I managed to get all this down to just 1 bag (hopefully, having now gone through all of these items, I'll remember not to be a pack rat with them in the future). What did I get rid of?
- Ugly boxes and bows
- Ripped bags
- Tissue paper that looked like toilet paper (lol - yeah,
some of it really did) or was ripped
- Would I really give a gift to someone in this bag?
- Bubble wrap (Only God knows why I keep this stuff...)
- Little paper bags that were wrinkled beyond repair
- Wrapping paper that was too small to cover any gift

3. Crafting books: Found 3 to donate.
- Iron-on transfer kit
- Fabric painting
- Dollar bill origami
Yeah, don't think I'll be doing any of that any time soon...

That's about all that I got through, but yesterday was a fairly busy day what with my fam popping in on me without prior notice. "Hey! We'll be there in less than 5 minutes." >> My response, "WHAT?!?!" Lol, I love seeing them - I have a truly fantastic family - but man talk about last minute!!

And spiritual reflections >>>
Chapter 12 of Unstuck gets the reader to truly examine the character of Jesus. I have a feeling that once most Christians learn who Jesus is and what He has done for us on the cross, they stop really meditating on His phenomenal nature. I know I have problems with this, especially when I'm at my lowest emotional points. So here are the passages provided to explore that question, "Who is Jesus?" [All passages written out below are from The Voice translation. Emphasis mine.]

-John 15:13-17 >> a friend, He chose me

v. 16a You did not choose Me.

I chose you, and I orchestrated all of this

so that you would be sent out

and bear great and perpetual fruit.

-Matthew 9:35-36 >> compassionate, infinitely giving

v. 36 Whenever crowds came to Him,

He had compassion for them because they were so

deeply distraught, malaised, and heart-broken.

They seemed to Him like lost sheep without a shepherd.

-Colossians 1:13-20 >> eternal, Creator, first

v. 15 He is the exact image of the invisible God,

the firstborn of creation, the eternal.

v. 17 He has always been!

It is His hand that holds everything together.

v. 18b He is the beginning,

the first of those to be reborn from the dead,

so that in every aspect, at every view, in everything - He is first.

v. 19 and 20

-Revelation 3:19-22 >> disciplining out of love, welcoming, desires us

v. 19a Those I love I also correct and discipline.

v. 20 Now pay attention;

I am standing at the door and knocking.

If any of you hear My voice and open the door,

then I will come in to visit with you

and to share a meal at your table,

and you will be with Me.

As Charles Spurgeon says so eloquently in regards to the story in Mark 5:24b-34, "God speaks sometimes through our circumstances and guides us, closing doors as well as opening them. He will let you know what you must do, and what you must be. He is waiting for you to touch Him. The hand of faith is enough. Your trembling fingers can reach Him as He passes. Reach out your faith - touch Him. He will not ask, 'Who touched Me?' He will know."

I found this fabulous side note in The Voice translation, "The woman in this story is unique because she receives her healing without asking for it - simply by touching Jesus in faith. He is surrounded by crowds pressing in on every side, but Jesus feels that one person's touch is different, in a way that only He can perceive: one woman is touching Him deliberately, in hope and faith, knowing He has the power to heal her."

State-of-mind pic of the day

Rain in the distance

Serengeti National Park, TZE

[taken by me]

Getting Unstuck in my walk with Christ - Day 26

noreply@blogger.com (KnittyKitty) — Sat, 18 Aug 2012 20:13:00 +0000

Today is another wonderfully rainy day - so beautiful and calming. *contentment*

Cleaning accomplishments >>
1. Xmas decorations - I found a whole crate-full to give away!
Now everything will fit fabulously, without any forcing, into
my 2 Rubbermaid containers. And, I'm only in possession
of the items that truly make me smile :-)

Donations

2. Mail box - Everything is now organized by category:
blank, Xmas, Thanksgiving, Thank You, Miss You,
and Valentine's Day
a. Cards that no longer strike my fancy >> donate
b. 2 address books I love >> ripped out the pages and
kept the covers for future crafting projects
c. Mailing labels with my parents' address >> trash
d. I removed most card sets out of their individual boxes
so that I could organize like with like and find things
more easily.

Like cards are separated into Ziploc bags.

3. File box - This contained a booklet for Apple Bootcamp,
2 boxes of hanging file folders, and Leopard OSX for
Dummies (such an odd collection of stuff...welcome to my life ;-)
a. Bootcamp booklet >> recycle b/c I now also have a PC
b. 1/2 of the hanging file folders (in a not so pretty purple color)
>> donate (The remaining file folders fit very nicely into the
crate I set aside for folders and such.)
d. I still haven't figured out what to do with all of my computer
junk...

c. Turns out this box is perfect for holding all of my

financial documents

Now the folders won't fall over

when I'm going through them :-)

4. 3 random discs
a. I found the French movie I made my Jr. year of HS...
and it works!!! :-D
b. Sounds of the Seventies - 26 CDs worth of fantastic 70's music,
each disc with about 20 songs - A find that seriously
made my day ;-)
c. Photos from camp - 50 photos from the summer before my
Jr. year of HS. I already knew I had hard copies of these,
but yay for digital!

5. Finally hung my giant Dale Peterson yard sign back on the wall
(it was hanging by just one tack and was too high up and too
gigantic for shorty me to fix). If you haven't seen the video,
watch it below - absolutely hysterical!!!

This sucker is at least a yard wide...LOVE IT ;-)

And on to Spiritual reflections >>>

Chapter 12 of Unstuck explores how we should deal with the "dark side" of our nature. It's always there, even for the most mature Christians (Paul makes note of this vividly in Romans 7). The thing that is so wonderful and so peace-giving about Christianity, is that it's okay to be completely messy, because Jesus unconditionally loves us. No amount of good works or religious legalism will make us more likeable in the eyes of God. Take note of Paul's words in Philippians 3:8 [The Voice]:

And more so, I now realize that all I gained

and thought was important

was nothing but yesterday's garbage

compared to knowing the Anointed Jesus my Lord.

For Him I have thrown everything aside -

it's nothing but a pile of waste -

so that I may gain Him.

[emphasis mine]

Of course this doesn't mean that we should run around and sin uncontrollably, but it does mean that our forgiveness by God and reconciliation in Christ allows us the freedom of not getting mired down in shame and guilt. I can't stand when people say that Christians are hypocrites, because Christians are NOT perfect and should NEVER claim to be! We ALL make mistakes because we are all human and have all fallen from the grace of God. The difference is in the peace we feel in knowing that God will forgive us for our sins and in our repentant nature when we recognize our sins. A mature Christian will ask for forgiveness for a sin they committed against someone, will bring their sins to God and ask for a renewed spirit, and will trust in the Lord to mold their hearts to His will over time. Of course I say and do things that I regret, but with my Savior always at my side, I know that I am loved and forgiven and am free from the entanglements of worry over my sin.

In regards to a man named Shane, whose story is told in
Chapter 12, "Here's what changed during his decade of walking with Jesus: He now doesn't try to hide his mess. He's pretty open about it, even writes songs about the stuff that trips him up. This brings sighs of relief in some who have heard his story: I'm not alone! they think. I can stop pretending I have it all together and start living with authenticity, just like this guy. I don't have to be afraid anymore. I can take a step toward God, warts and all."

And as Shane puts it himself, "This world is filled with wounded, hurting, broken souls. I'd say that we're all pretty messed up, but only a few are brave enough to admit it. We like to believe we're okay - that we have it all together. I've learned that it's okay to be broken. When we get to this point, we can put away all the junk that gets in the way - our efforts to 'get things right,' and do 'Christian things.' God is our Healer. He can accomplish in us what we cannot do on our own." [Bold emphasis mine]

The authors of Unstuck go on to say, "What marks those who trust Jesus as Savior and Lord isn't the ability or certainty to sin less, but the awareness of sin being forgiven and of being released from its ongoing consequences (guilt and shame). The experience of that freedom fills our hearts with love for God, for what He has done on our undeserving behalf; this love empowers us to serve Him by loving others." [Emphasis mine]

When we allow ourselves to get mired down in worry, guilt, and shame over our mistakes, we are being exceedingly selfish in acting as if God is not in control and does not have the power to heal us. Only when we put aside our hang-ups over our own sins, can we approach others with true unconditional love, kindness, and forgiveness.

I'd like to end with a short passage from The Voice translation of Colossians. I can't think of a better way to describe the true meaning of Christ's death on the cross.

Colossians 19-20 [The Voice]

19 God was pleased that all his fullness

should forever dwell in the Son

20 who, as predetermined by God,

bled peace into the world by His death on the cross

as God's means of reconciling to Himself

the whole creation - all things in heaven

and all things on earth.

[emphasis mine]

State-of-mind pic of the day.

Another fabulous storm :-)

Photo taken less than a minute ago by me.

This post is linked up with:

Getting Unstuck in my walk with Christ - Day 25

noreply@blogger.com (KnittyKitty) — Fri, 17 Aug 2012 16:42:00 +0000

Good morning. The new semester starts in just 5 days and I'm actually quite confident in having a nicely organized house by then. This series has been so great for me and I sincerely hope that you've enjoyed reading it. Just a few more days to go, but plenty more to write about...

Cleaning successes::

1. Movies - I have 4 baskets full of DVDs, VHSs, and N64 games under my TV in the living room. These baskets had slowly become cluttered disasters...that is, until the day before yesterday. Now I can actually tell what's there and enjoy what I have!

a. All DVDs in cardboard sleeves or unlabeled cases

>> in small CD holder

This reduced the clutter more than I expected.

b. I pulled out 1 DVD and 4 Wii games, all of which are not mine

>> going back to their owners

c. VHS recordings of old TV shows that are accessible on Netflix

>> trash

d. Computer information/documents

>> folder in back room

See how pretty it all is now! The DVDs on the left are all in alphabetical order, and notice how there's nothing on top of the DVDs making it ridiculously difficult to know what's inside! That was a HUGE problem for me...

2. Library books - They fit so nicely on my living room's bookshelf. A perfect location where they are easily seen and easily accessed - no more late fees is the goal!

3. Empty vials - Having been sitting in those 2 large "buckets" drying for a good while now, it was definitely time for them to get out of sight out of mind. I separated them by type/size and put them with my full vials. Yes, all of those pallets (except the top one on the left) contain bugs...lol :-P

4. Easter/Valentine's Day decorations - I managed to come up with a small pile to give away and was able to then fit everything nicely back in the box (including some extra stuff that didn't fit).

5. Pens/Markers - I went through my shoe box full of pens, as well as 2 pencil cases full that I had forgotten about (of course) and ended up throwing away 55 dried out pens and markers!! That didn't even account for 1/2 of the pens and markers I have though...I won't need to buy pens for YEARS!

And here is the donation/sell pile up to this point >>>

This photo makes the pile look much smaller than it is in reality,

but compare it to this and you'll see the difference...

And on to spiritual matters >>>

Continuing with yesterday's "course-plotting"::

FOURTH STEP:: Double-Check Your Wiring

-I was to choose from a list of 7 options the ways in which I grow best spiritually.

My choices:

Sermons and Inspiring Messages (This is my favorite way to

pass the time when driving a long distance. Check out "Covenant

Life Church" podcasts - they are fantastic! Joshua Harris and C.J.

Mahaney are some of the pastors there ;-)

Music and Art (Well, I was saved by God speaking to me

through a song so this was an obvious one and just take note

of all the song lyrics I reference on this blog.)

Time Alone in Deep Reflection and Meditation (This goes back

to the whole idea of my engaging in nature. Whenever I sit alone

on my balcony and take in a good thunderstorm, I am filled with

an incredibly powerful peace.)

-Other things that help me grow include:

Struggles is a big one for me. I've mentioned several times

throughout this series how bad situations have simply led me

closer to God.

-Key ways in which I'm going to nurture a relational faith include:

beginning an in-depth study of it. I had no idea how powerful

this book of the Bible was!)

Have conversations with God (Like I did back when I was

a newbie Christian)

Continue blogging about my faith (I hope y'all are enjoying

this as much as me :-)

Serve more (definitely my biggest weakness right now)

FIFTH STEP:: Set Some Spiritual-Growth Goals

Make sure they are:

-Concrete = can put into words

-Measurable = can see your progress

-Attainable = can reasonably be completed

My goal at the moment is to spend the next 30 days seriously engaging with the book of Hebrews through commentaries, prayer, meditation, and memorization. To assess my progress, I think I'll make some sort of spreadsheet that lays out what I want to accomplish each day - to make this goal a truly attainable one (since the unforeseen always happens), I'll stick with "Powered by 4" and only make plans ahead of time for 4 days each week.

SIXTH STEP:: Seek God

Our relational interaction with Christ is an ever-evolving thing and with that in mind, our goals will change and should change to help us grow ever more sanctified into His image. As I develop new goals and find new resources for delving into my relationship with Christ, you will be the first to know!

I've come across so many more fabulous things in Chapter 11 of Unstuck, but if I were to mention them all here, it would make this post way too long. So for now, that's all :-)

State-of-mind pic of the day.

One of those thunderstorms I was talking about ;-)

Yesterday, from my balcony [taken by me].

Getting Unstuck in my walk with Christ - Day 24

noreply@blogger.com (KnittyKitty) — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 17:40:00 +0000

I'm pretty much floored with how much I managed to get done yesterday in regards to cleaning. It was fabulous :-D

1. Education folder - I had about 3 file folders, 2 3-ring binders, and 1 manila envelope chock full of Education related papers and news articles. Now I have all of it in 1 tab-divided 3-ring binder - SO organized!!! At the moment, I am using the following categories::
Lesson Planning
Teaching Practice
Learners
Assessments
Professional Development
Diversity
Personal Experience
SPE
Graphic Organizers
Philosophy of Education
Classroom Management
School Reform
21st Century Education
While some of these categories may seem fairly redundant, it's what works for me and I am really happy with it :-)

2. Spiral-bound notebooks/comp books/journals - All very nicely organized in one section of my wire shelving unit.

3. Empty folders, file folders, 3-ring binders, and expandables - Lined up nicely and easily accessible in 1 crate. Two of the 3-ring binders double as paper storage and 1 of them doubles as tab-divider storage.

4. Teaching Assistant Biology Lab binders - Remember my throwing out all those extra student papers the other day? Well I had placed all of the remaining papers in a file folder, and soon realized that I hadn't gone through the actual related binders in a very long time. After going through the binders, I was able to place BSC 108 and 117 papers in their respective binders and everything fit SO WELL :-)

5. Education books and notebooks - They fit in my bookshelves - yay!! This is due to my solutions 2 and 3 above - success!

6. Recycling - Another bag of office paper...if I had kept all the paper I've recycled over the past month and a half in a giant bag, I bet I could've had a bonfire lol.

I still have much more to do today but yesterday's successes have left me pretty pumped ;-)

State-of-mind pic of the day.

Wetlands in Ngorongoro Crater, TZE

[taken by me]

Unstuck >> "Plotting a course" for a more Christ-filled life::
The following is the first half of a process laid out in Chapter 11. I've loved considering these questions for the past hour, it's really gotten me to think about who I am and what I believe. Totally recommend doing this for yourself...

FIRST STEP:: Focus your vision
- What is my perception of God?
Unconditionally loving
Caring
Gracious and merciful
Correcting
Guiding
Supporting
Jealous, wanting ALL of me
Lover of my soul
Relational
-What things are blocking a spiritual breakthrough in my life?
Forgetting the awe and wonder of the Creator
Getting caught up in human endeavors
Letting earthly drama determine how I feel
Being terrified of Heaven
The judgmental-ness of others who are Christians
My own feelings of diminished self-worth
-How can I work through them to get my faith moving again?
Powered by 4!!
Pray as I go to sleep
Engage more in nature
Talk to Him throughout the day
Make the extra effort to show up on time to church...

SECOND STEP:: Dare to Dream
-What are my God-given gifts and talents?
Passion for nature and biology
Laughing and smiling all the time
Loving other cultures
Willingness to help others
Fascination with "ugly/scary" creatures a.k.a. bugs and spiders
Insatiable desire to learn new things
Getting excited
Accepting people as they are

THIRD STEP:: Pinpoint your personality
10 options are given and the reader is asked to select only one. I laughed when I came across one in particular in the list. I never would have come up with it on my own, but man does it define me.
-Investigative/A Fact-Finder
Internet searches are my best friend...lol. I notoriously look up any questions I have. I'm never satisfied with not having some idea of why things are a certain way or how certain things work or why people do certain things. I've always just referred to this as "the scientist in me" but maybe it's more than that.

Well that's all for now - my brain and heart need some time to ponder and reflect over all of the above...

Getting Unstuck in my walk with Christ - Day 23

noreply@blogger.com (KnittyKitty) — Tue, 14 Aug 2012 18:17:00 +0000

Cleaning has gone pretty well, I feel like I'm really getting
there :-)

1. Unread classics - I knew I could probably find these free on Amazon for Kindle, and I did! I managed to clear up space for the remaining random books. 6 more book >> donate

2. Recycling - I took out 3 bags of newspapers, 3 bags of office paper, 1 bag of plastic, and 2 bags of aluminum...phew!

3. Laundry - Put up a ton of clothes...LBS rearing its nasty head...

4. Underclothing drawer - I have been wanting to get to this for a long time!
a. All full-legged hose >> donate
b. 2 redundantly colored undershirts >> donate
c. All opaque trouser socks >> donate
d. I found 2 gorgeous undershirts that I had completely forgotten
about :-D
e. 2 pairs of old glasses >> memory box (they're quite unique ;-)
f. 1 pair of non-prescription sunglasses >> donate
(I also found a prescription pair that aren't too far off -
yayness!)
g. Repair Button Box::
-Those without store names >> loose in box
-Those with store names >> combined into just a couple little
labeled bags
-Cloth buttons and thread >> kept in bags
-Buttons of long-gone clothes >> craft button box
-Picture hanging accessories (don't ask) >> toolbox
h. I also found my vintage cat-eye glasses!!! >> finally on display

i. Smell-less sachet >> garbage
j. It looks SOO much better, but now I have a ton of footless
tights (very my style) to wash...meh

5. Another folder FULL of scientific articles - I'm at a loss to understand this...lol. Hopefully my computer's hard drive doesn't overload on pdfs...

6. I'm keeping up with the dishes...minus pots and pans. I've noticed that a lot of people just put their pots and pans in the dishwasher - does anyone know if this is actually okay to do??

7. And lastly, the bookshelves are really shaping up :-)

Spiritual thoughts >>
Chapter 11 of Unstuck is simply fabulous so far! It discusses the wonder and awe that we should feel when thinking on God. I really needed to be reminded of this simple truth.

The authors so eloquently write, "In [Matthew 6:9-13/The Lord's Prayer] (and in other [passages]), Jesus begins with the perspective of childlike wonder [Our Father in Heaven, hallowed be Your Name] because of how much we need it while navigating through this difficult and complicated life. Wonder leads us to trust in something bigger than ourselves; it brings about healthy awe and inspires an appropriate gratefulness; it's a path to worship, the way to approach our heavenly Father." [emphasis mine]

They then go on to point out, "Our sense of wonder about God as He's found throughout the Bible doesn't last forever on its own energy. The wonder of discovering His story and its pervasive interconnection with our own can be awe-inspiring during those first years as a believer. As times marches on, as we read and reread, our ability to take in all the magnificence can seem lost and irreversible." [emphasis mine]

I have unfortunately found myself as of late with the inability to see the magnificence and splendor of God. I still run to Him to guide me through my day and to give me the strength and courage to live like Him and be true to myself, yet I can't help but feel that something is missing.

Sarah Markley, in her post on (in)courage entitled "The Small Things That Keep You Close," does a splendid job of describing exactly what I need right now.
My favorite passage from this post is::
"With a journal in one hand and the Bible in the other, we would spend 30 minutes or longer alone in the near woods asking God to speak to us through nature. We watched pine trees sway and ants build homes and wondered what truth of God could be learned from such things."
This is exactly the way that I best experience God, and I just haven't given myself much of an opportunity lately to do so. I guess that's what happens when you live in a condo on the 3rd floor and don't have a backyard to sit in or nearby woods to walk to. At Sewanee, I was constantly surrounded by nature. A 13,000 acre forest lay within arms reach and my "being in nature" never just consisted of sitting on a balcony all day. It'll take a little extra effort on my part due to my current living situation to get back into nature, but the result will totally be worth it, and I know that the awe and wonder of God will fill me with renewed joy.

State-of-mind pic of the day.

Ngorongoro Crater, TZE [taken by me]

Getting Unstuck in my walk with Christ - Day 22

noreply@blogger.com (KnittyKitty) — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 23:14:00 +0000

Afternoon all :-)
Sorry it's been awhile since I last posted in this series, what with dentist appointments (yes, plural...blech!) and hanging out with friends, I've been pretty busy. It really has been a great week.

How is cleaning going?
Well, I'm still really just doing nitty gritty stuff. It's long and arduous but MUST be done.

1. Old student papers - for some reason I pretty much kept all of these and finally got around to seriously culling them down to no more than 1 example per assignment. HUGE difference :-)

2. My M.S. research folder - more hard copy scientific papers (now pdfs) as well as old edits (why I felt compelled to keep the edits, only God knows).

3. I went through all the papers in the below basket - coupons, financial stuff, organizing tips, and a pdf version of "Grad Essentials" (yay, now I can throw away the booklet too!).

4. Below all the papers was this random assortment of items. I went through all the pens and markers and threw away those that didn't work - I have a really bad habit of keeping highlighters until I'm literally scraping color onto the page...

5. University of Alabama folder - Do I really still need a campus map after 3 years? Haha...No...

6. All of the memory items, recipes, household tips, and church stuff that I came across all went into their respective folders - Yay!

That's really all that I got done but every little bit helps :-)

Spiritual reflections >>>
I finished Chapter 10 of Unstuck and it was fairly short and sweet, just getting the reader to think about how we are not the center of the Universe and how we tend to label ourselves.

One of the authors said about the realities of a truly Christ-focused life:

"Following Jesus is a long and difficult trek

that can take us through some hostile territory.

We get weary and messy along the way.

The ground gets rocky; the hills get steep.

Though Paul didn't see many pretty rainbows or cushy meadows,

this Christ-follower remained steadfast.

He stayed true to the One he was following,

true to his mission of lighting up the darkness."

He went on to ask the following question,

"Is 'Christian' just another achievement in my life?"

This is such a great question for those of us who claim to be Christians to ask ourselves. Are our lives true reflections of Christ in us? Or are we just nominally Christian in rule-following? I like to think that I do reflect Christ in the ways that I treat and interact with others. There really is no legalism in my Christianity that I can think of. Regardless, it's a really good idea to keep this simple question in mind and be sure that I don't ever let myself devolve to "Christian" just being another label for me along with "20-something," "entomologist," "female," "educator," etc. Instead, I need to always remember that "Christian" is deeply a part of who I am and how I see and interact with the world around me.

The same author goes on to consider,

"I can't help but wonder what it would be like to see myself as God does.

How would it change my daily life?

What would happen if I stopped expending so much energy

on my future and increasingly saw reality through His eyes?"

1 John 4:10

This is love:

not that we loved God,

but that He loved us

and sent His Son

as an atoning sacrifice

for our sins.

What clearer an example can you get of how the world does not revolve around us? Love is God's feelings towards us first and foremost. We only learned how to love because he taught us by sending His Son to die on the cross for us, to be sacrificed for us, so that we may live in eternal joy!!

Remember Theresa, who I quoted extensively in Day 14? Well, her story continues in Chapter 10 as she has now become a missionary doctor, experiencing some of the most disheartening situations possible, in which she feels absolutely and completely helpless. By changing her view of her role in life, she comes to a new uplifting realization of the reality of her being in Christ,

"I was compelled to consider

the way I live my life in view of the gospel,

with the whole world in my view!

The purpose of educating ourselves about the rest of the world

is to see that we're not its center - it doesn't revolve around us.

This truth isn't meant to bring guilt but true enlightenment;

not to make us feel overwhelmed, but concerned.

We are the princes and princesses of God's kingdom.

He calls us to rule and to reign with servant hearts,

to lay down our lives...to be our brother's keeper."

I really like how she makes clear that this realization should not bring us to guilt - in my opinion, guilt is the cause of many a frustrated and ineffective person. I've seen too many times the effects of feeling guilt for something that is not your fault. People end up feeling like they are different and separate from those in need. When the needy show kindness, generosity, and hospitality, people see it as a show to please them. Neither of these consequences of guilt can lead to a positive outcome. Instead, we must allow the Spirit to empower us with hope and action, always ready to help and serve and graciously accept any kindnesses that come from those who are less fortunate. Only then can we build true mutual trust that clearly shows the light of Christ.

State-of-mind pic of the day.

Zebra in Ngorongoro Crater, TZE [taken by me].

For some reason, this zebra just seems extra joyful,

with her tail swinging in the air,

just living her life in the breathtaking African savannah.

Getting Unstuck in my walk with Christ - Day 21

noreply@blogger.com (KnittyKitty) — Wed, 08 Aug 2012 02:07:00 +0000

Well, I know I said awhile back that I was going to carry this series all the way out to 31 days but things are very close to being complete right now and I have 10 posts left to get to 31... Of course, with the way the past month+ has been going, more stuff will probably jump out of the woodwork lol.

Cleaning >>>

For the past 2 days I've really just dealt with lots of random papers and pages torn out from magazines - it's fairly slow and arduous work but the results have definitely lifted some of the stress off my shoulders :-)

1. My porch is looking fantastic!!
a. I put a small plastic basket next to the loveseat to be a "to read" magazine container and to hold my pens and markers that end up all over the floor.
b. I have a very small stack of papers to still go thru on the porch but I think it's mostly just coupons to clip.

2. My bookshelves are full - - - ACK!!
a. Okay, so after putting all of my empty folders and notebooks back in my bookcase (including those that were in a different location), they take up an entire shelf :-(
b. I have no room for my education books - - this is gonna be interesting to figure out a solution to.

3. I put more cards in my card boxes and more memories in my memory folder.

4. Found more scientific articles online and recycled the papers - they KEEP SHOWING UP lol.

5. I organized my biology books into the following categories: Bio textbooks, Non-bio Science textbooks, Environmental Science, Invertebrates, Fungi+, Plants, Birds/Mammals, and Theory. This sorting method has made it extremely easy to put random pamphlets, brochures, and handouts from conferences in appropriate and easily located places.

State-of-mind pic of the day.

I forget what species of bird this is but,

is it not absolutely gorgeous?!

[Taken by me in Ngornogro Crater, TZE]

Spiritual thoughts >>>
Chapter 9 of Unstuck makes several really great points about the Bible:
- There is a Person behind the pages.
- This amazing, ancient, yet still relevant book is the narrative story of God - it is HIS-story.
-The Bible is a compass more than a roadmap.

Now for the mundane, remember my promise a few posts ago? lol...
Over on Good Morning Girls, Jen wrote a fabulous post about recognizing God in our everyday mundane tasks. Below is my take on it::

Ephesians 2:10 says:
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. [My emphasis added.]
According to this verse, our day-to-day tasks have been prepared for us by God - and considering that God knit us together in the womb, these works were probably laid out for us long before we breathed our first breath. We were created so that we could carry out these works. What a great way to look at tasks that we must complete that seem insignificant or boring!

I've already written multitudes on how we should do everything in our lives to the glory of God :-)
Just check out Day 6 (there are more days too).

Phillipians 2:14 says:
Do everything without complaining or arguing.
Hmmm...yeah, I think this is something that everyone needs to keep in mind. I clearly remember the ridiculous number of Facebook statuses I posted while I was struggling through writing my M.S. thesis. Let's just say that they were not uplifting or pump-me-up in nature. I grumbled and whined in status after status. I was truly struggling and was having real difficulty in getting through the arduous task in front of me, but regardless, I really don't think all of my Facebook friends had any desire to read status after status of complaining!! *blush* - how embarrassing looking back on it :-/

Well, more tomorrow! We'll see what ends up on the chopping block ;-)

Getting Unstuck in my walk with Christ - Day 20

noreply@blogger.com (KnittyKitty) — Mon, 06 Aug 2012 05:25:00 +0000

Cleaning >>>
It's going a little slow cuz I'm getting down to some of the nitty gritty now - but here's a quick list of some successes...

1. I'm a packrat right? Well, that means that all the old folders I had in college that didn't completely get used up are still in my possession... Yep! Even if the backs of them were falling off. So today I went through that ginormous stack and managed to get rid of the ones that were the worst for wear...of course while saving all of the paper inside... Hey, it does save money in the long run. I don't think I'll ever run out of lined paper...lol!

2. I also had several stacks of papers that just needed to be filed away and that's now done - hallelujah for completing the simple but naggling things :-)

3. I've continued to go through a few of my old academic folders and notebooks and have been getting rid of papers by the stack.

4. I re-examined my 2 3-ring binders, folder, and manila envelope full of church memories, dramas, and lesson plans and managed to get them all down to just 1 3-ring binder and a folder - yayness :-)

5. I'm still working on the bookcases (#s 1, 3, and 4 having something to do with that). It's been way more difficult than I had originally envisioned. But it may actually be completed tomorrow...fingers crossed!

State-of-mind pic of the day.

Ngorongoro Crater in TZE (taken by me).

Spiritual reflections >>>

Chapter 9 of Unstuck contains a number of great Bible passages, and while reading them, I did my best to apply the methods found in Day 17 and Day 18. Here is what I metabolized...

Matthew 6: 22-23 [The Message]:
Your eyes are windows into your body. If you open your eyes wide in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a dank cellar. If you pull the blinds on your windows, what a dark life you will have!
The note I wrote to myself in the book's margin was this: "If I allow myself to take in the beauty of God's creation and His promises, then joy and light will take the place of pain and doubt."
While my eyes may not be squinty with greed, I definitely find them at times quite squinty with distrust - not trusting in His plan for my future and my life here on Earth. But if I consider that the way I look at the world (and the magnificence that is God) is a window into my body or how my body/feelings react to my surroundings, then I have a much better chance of conquering the shackles of depression and doubt.

Proverbs 4:20-22 :
Pay attention to what I say; turn your ear to My words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to one's whole body.
[my emphasis added]
This simple phrase is an incredibly clear call to all Christians to seek out God's wisdom and truly engage in His word. We must find His words, and to do that, we cannot just read them...

To end, I want to share a quote in this chapter from J. I. Packer:
"God's purpose in revelation is to make friends with us. God's friendship with men and women begins and grows through speech. His to us in revelation, and ours to Him in prayer and praise. Though I cannot see God, He and I can yet be personal friends, because in revelation He talks to me." [my emphasis added]
Simply...Wow!

Hope that last quote leaves you in good spirits, it certainly brings a smile to my heart :-)

The Smiles of Tanzanians :-)

noreply@blogger.com (KnittyKitty) — Sat, 04 Aug 2012 13:37:00 +0000

When I was a resident of Tanzania for 2 1/2 months in 2008, I lived with the happiest most loving people I have ever had the joy of meeting. I just read a post from Michael Hyatt about his experiences in Ethiopia that greatly resonated with this amazing period of my life. My favorite quote from his post makes an incredibly accurate and eye-opening observation, "Despite all of [their difficulties], the Ethiopian people remained joyful in the midst of unrelenting hardship." I can definitely say the same for the Tanzanian people.

Needless to say, I wanted to share some pictures of both of my lovely Tanzanian home stay families.

Their smiles are contagious :-)

I guess I should start with some background to explain why their smiles are so fantastic and should teach us in the U.S. quite a lesson - as pointed out in the above linked-to post by Michael Hyatt.

I lived with my Bangatan home stay family for 3 weeks towards the beginning of the trip. My Swahili was lacking quite a bit and their English was all but non-existent, and yet we still managed to connect right away. So much so that when I visited a month and a half or so later to tell them that I unfortunately had to leave the country early and I would not be able to see them again in the near future, my 3 year old brother David (pronounced Dev-dee) grabbed on to me and repeatedly exclaimed in Swahili, "Sister, don't go!!" Tears were flowing from both of our eyes. So the hardships? Well, they did have a store attached to the house (a duka), which meant my Baba (father) didn't have to travel to get to work, but also meant that when the rainy season came and the road up the mountain got severely muddy and nearly impassable, business went down (Bangatan residents could not get down the mountain to work). They also were one of the few houses to have electricity. But...they had no running water, their kitchen was a lean-to made of sticks with a dirt floor, and they had to keep selling their livestock to get more of an income. They did have it pretty good compared to most of their neighbors, but by American standards, they were not so well off. None of this phased me or them it seemed. Mama David was always so joyous and so loving and caring of me. David was such a happy little 3 year old and he latched on to me with an incredible unconditional love super fast. Baba David didn't smile all that much (I think that might just be an East African grown man thing though), but he was so welcoming of me, and even let me sit in his shop whenever I had time so that I could learn more Swahili and interact with the community.

Me and my kaka (brother) David.

He was such a sweet little guy.

Just look at that unbarred JOY :-)

Mama David (my Bangatan Mama) joyfully embroidering

a beautiful dress for me.

I lived with my Maasai family for about 5 days towards the end of the trip. I even went back an extra night while all of the other students were staying back at camp. The minute my Bibi (grandmother) saw me returning as she sat up against a tree, she reached up and pulled me into a huge bear hug exclaiming my name. This family lived in cow dung huts, had no electricity, and no running water. The women spent their days sitting in the shade on cow skin hides beading jewelry to sell (the perfect life if you ask me...). My Yeyo (mama) didn't speak Swahili at all so I had to communicate with her through my Shingazi (aunt). Regardless of our verbal communication difficulties, there was an unspoken love and feeling of family among us all. Maria, my little sister, followed me everywhere and got as close to me as she could when we would sleep at night (man can that girl kick in her sleep!!). I don't think I ever saw Sale, my little brother, not smile. Raehleah, my little cousin, was always playing silly games with me. Yeyo Simbai involved me in everything she could, even a dance a short walk away where the women were singing higher than I thought possible and jumping up and down, artfully clanging their necklaces. And Shingazi Anna snuck a 2nd brand on me by doing the "look over there" trick. I can't say enough about how much this family changed my life. I think of them daily even though it's been 4 years since I last saw them.

Me and my Maasai family.

From left to right: Yeyo (Mama) Simbai, Nabo,

Sale, Maria, me, and my cousin Raehleah.

My sister Maria.

My sister Nabo.

Me and my brother Sale.

Me and my brother N'geke.

My Shingazi (Aunt) Anna and two of my baby cousins.

Hopefully these photos show just how joyful people can be, regardless of the American-compared circumstances they are in. I realized very quickly that the people of Tanzania have much more to teach Americans than Americans have any right to think that they (Americans) can teach them (Tanzanians). People should never go into another country expecting to change citizens' ways of life - we should never be so arrogant as to think that our American way of life is the only right way.

Note: I will most likely post some of these pictures again in the future :-)

That's all for now...

Inspiration and Successes - Getting Unstuck IMWW Christ - Day 19

noreply@blogger.com (KnittyKitty) — Thu, 02 Aug 2012 00:19:00 +0000

Told you it wouldn't take long... I'm feeling really good right now. All it took was me refocusing on how much I do enjoy hanging out with myself - a super important thing for everyone to learn to be able to do. I've just been spending so much time with other people that I'd almost forgotten :-(

And I have a number of cleaning/organizing successes to share::

My donation/sell pile at the moment!!

On top on the left is the bear rug I was talking about...lol :-P

The VIALS!!!

Hopefully this makes it obvious why

it took FOREVER to clean all of them out...

I went through this entire HUGE stack.

Notice the straw in front for scale!

And below are the calendar pictures that I have chosen to frame.

All the rest are being recycled!!!

If you can't tell, I cut down 7 calendars into just 14 pictures.

And actually threw out the entirety of the 8th one.

That's 96 >> 14!!!

I'm planning on framing them as shown above - so 7 framed pictures in all.

I LOVE IT!!!

And now to the INSPIRATION...

One of the BEST Christmas presents EVER!!!!

If I have something as fabulously collectible as this metal, old-school, Star Wars lunchbox, there is NO reason to keep the dumb, flimsy stuff around. By keeping this beautiful item in mind, it will be much easier to get rid of things that don't match up to its amazingness ;-D

And spiritual reflections...

As is obvious from today's earlier posts, it's been a pretty down day. But I want to share a few things, and say that if I had taken them to heart already then maybe today wouldn't have been such a downer...

"Powered by 4" = Reading scripture at least 4 times a day. Apparently this is the cutoff b/w scripture making a difference in your life and scripture just being a fly by night sort of thing.

"Receiving scripture daily--along with reflecting on it and responding to it--transforms us. We can expect (1) direction from God, (2) the ability to discern His truth from competing voices, (3) freedom from wrong thinking, and (4) a way to withstand temptation." - From Chap. 8 of Unstuck (my emphasis added)

That's all for now!! Have a fabulous Wednesday night!

And...GO USA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-D

Addendum to the previous post - what I realized.

noreply@blogger.com (KnittyKitty) — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 18:02:00 +0000

So after letting my thoughts settle for about 5 minutes, I realized just how sinful the last post was for a number of reasons.

First and foremost is that I'm not trusting in what my friends say. I'm not accepting their love for me. It hit me how similar this is to thinking God could never forgive you for a particular thing. If you don't believe that God can forgive you for something - then you are severely insulting His power and grace. In other words, I'm insulting my friends' hospitality by questioning their motives. I love them and trust them enough, no matter how crazy they may be lol, to believe that when they say I am welcome that I am welcome.

I can't say that I'm not still questioning my value and worth at the moment, but I refuse to question people that I care about. I value them, and so they deserve my thankfulness and trust rather than my confusion and pitifulness.

Guess I did have an uplifting thought in me...

Almost through my study and now...I'M STUCK

noreply@blogger.com (KnittyKitty) — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 17:34:00 +0000

So I haven't posted in a week. I hadn't gotten much cleaning done before yesterday and my mind has been insanely distracted.

Warning - This post is very personal...

Honestly, I'm severely stuck at the moment. I had an absolutely fantastic time in Sewanee catching up with old and new friends. I even got to talk a good bit with a couple of my favorite profs, which is always a joy. I felt at peace there in the stillness, away from all of my questions and life concerns.

Now that I'm back to reality, I'm as confused and frustrated as ever. When I arrived home, I was greeted with a blast of heat from inside my condo - my A/C was broken (in 100 degree weather) - oh happy day! Luckily I have friends in the complex that I was able to stay with for 4 nights in a row. It was so fantastic to be around other people, laughing and talking and watching the Olympics while not by myself. Of course I also felt like I was imposing a lot and my sinful self began to doubt my worth and value - Were they just being nice? or Did they really want me there? Were they tolerating me? or Did they enjoy my presence?

Some advice I received yesterday really tore me up and now I feel disconnected and simply don't care. Running to God at the moment has me all the more desiring the things of this world - a family and companionship. I know that Christ loves me immensely and unconditionally and that no love on earth can match His, but that doesn't stop me from so desperately wanting to be loved and cared for in the here and now and to have someone to love and care for in the here and now.

I don't have any uplifting thoughts or quotes to share. I don't know that an uplifting thought or quote would even help me right now. It won't take long for me to get back on track - these moments come and go, but for right now, I'm just tired...

Getting Unstuck - Day 18

noreply@blogger.com (KnittyKitty) — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 16:42:00 +0000

Hello all!

Well, I've decided to take a short hiatus from the home front and am visiting friends at my alma mater - the beautiful Sewanee :-) I definitely needed a break from everything and my mind always clears better and my relaxation level sky rockets whenever I'm here. There's something about the mountains, the Oxford-style stone buildings, the lack of heavy traffic, and the peacefulness that never fails to renew my soul.

Although I'm not in this picture,

it captures the essence of Sewanee unbelievably well,

what with the gorgeous building in the background,

the robes adorning 2 of my older sisters,

and the happiness and contentment

radiating from their faces right after graduation.

I haven't seen them in years, but I've no doubt that

the minute I see them again, whenever that may be,

we'll run to each other with arms wide open

and start talking like no time has passed.

As you've no doubt noticed in the last handful of posts, my cleaning has slowed down a good bit and I really need to ramp it up, seeing as there are only about 4 weeks before school starts. Plus, I'd much rather spend my only free weeks of the summer reading, crafting, and generally relaxing with no organizationally-related stress hanging over my head. So I guess my real goal is to finish organizing by the time I complete my Unstuck study. Now I realize that organizing and cleaning will always be a continual process, but once I get everything where it needs to go and have solid systems in place, the challenge of making the big decisions will be gone and the continual maintenance tasks will be miles easier to handle. With all of this in mind, I think a break from the chaos is just what I need to get me back on track once I get home on Friday.

I'm going to be in this small little town 30 minutes from the nearest Walmart until Friday afternoon - so what am I going to be able to do cleaning-wise?? A surprising amount with relaxation still as my main focus of course... Although I don't have house junk to deal with, this will be a really great time to go through stuff that I ignore when I'm at home and there's so much visible junk assaulting my eyeballs and stress levels.

- My wallet : I'm on Learnvest now which is a fabulous site for organizing your finances. In other words, I thankfully don't need to go through receipts and enter them by hand anymore! But I can't just throw the whole huge receipt chunk away because of 2 things...
1. CVS receipts could be for meds or groceries
2. Coupons lurk in the jumble ;-)

- My car : Ugh I'm SO terrible at keeping my car clean...it's really embarrassing. Although I don't have old food laying around, I do have empty cups (both throw away and not) as well as other junky crap. I think I'll finally get the chance to take care of several things in my car...
1. Throw away the trash!
2. Upload the CDs rattling around in my trunk to my computer
3. Go through the academic folders that were in my old Biology office
4. And I'm sure there's more crap to deal with

- Online bookmarks : While I did get rid of a bunch of these a few months ago, I really think this needs a maintenance session. Plus, now that I'm on Pinterest...
1. I can get rid of all my crafting bookmarks by moving them to my CraftyLove board.
2. upcycling bookmarks to Upcycled Magic
3. greening (my word for living an eco-friendly lifestyle) to Green Cleaning - Home & Body
4. organizing to Mission Organization
5. and products I like to Super Cool Products

- Email : I keep the most ridiculous types of old email. So here are some questions I'm going to ask myself...
1. Do I really need communications with old profs that say, "Okay I'll see you then." - Uh, NO.
2. Is it so extremely old news-wise that it's just not relevant anymore?
3. Can I just pin it instead?
4. Is this the only email in a folder? - Why might that be?
5. Did I already receive this offer in the mail? (free samples and such)
6. These coupons are really outdated...aren't they...
7. Can this information easily be found somewhere else if I really need it?

- Education/Scientific articles : Okay, so we'll see how much time I have left over for these in between all of the above and hanging out with my friends, but it's worth listing. I have saved tons of pdfs and bookmarked tons of online articles about education and scientific research. Problem is, most of them have been sitting on my computer for a long time and still haven't been read. I'm going to make the effort (when I get back) to start reading at least 5 a day - that should really be part of my job as a grad student anyway ;-)

State-of-mind pic of the day.

On our way from Ndarakwai Game Reserve, TZE.

(taken by me)

A couple of quick spiritual notes about Reflecting on God's Word >>

When reading a passage, one should really engage with it. Unfortunately, this word gets a person all excited with abstract ideas of dynamic interaction and digging into the meat of something.

But how do we do this?? Here are some questions that you can ask yourself while reading scripture:

- How do I feel about these verses?
- What is difficult for me mentally/emotionally about these verses?
- What do I not understand?
- Is my way of thinking a stumbling block to God's way of thinking?
- What is He reminding/asking me to do?
- What is He revealing that I had forgotten or never known?
- Is He giving me a promise?
- Is He warning/disciplining me?
- Is He encouraging me?
- What is His message uniquely to me?
- What does this reveal about God's character?
- What is His message to all Christians?
- Is He telling me to slow down and sit with Him like He told Martha?

Many more questions can be asked but these are a great starting point to get us each individually thinking about the best ways we personally can approach not just reading, but engaging with scripture.

Getting unstuck in my walk with Christ - Day 17

noreply@blogger.com (KnittyKitty) — Mon, 23 Jul 2012 17:27:00 +0000

Good morning all!
I spent all day yesterday either at church or sleeping (lol), but the day before that was pretty successful :-)

I'll start with some spiritual reflections...
Chapter 8 of Unstuck lays out some great tips for truly engaging with scripture >>

1. Receive God's Word
To begin engaging with scripture we must set out with a mind to "spiritually consume" it a.k.a. we must "metabolize scripture." How cool is that description? Haha, ok, I am a biologist so I can really connect with this metaphor. Think about the way that we approach a delicious meal...we take in the aroma, let our eyes indulge in the yumminess laid out before us, and as our eyes and nose heighten our anticipation for what we know is going to be absolutely delicious, our salivary glands start working over-time and our mouths start to water. Then we dig our fork into the food and lift it to our tongues and slowly savor the tastes and smells that flow through our senses. This is how we should engage with scripture - as a delicious banquet laid out for us to consume. As Ruth Haley Barton says, "When we engage the Scriptures for spiritual transformation...we engage not only our mind but also our heart, our emotions, our body, our curiosity, our imagination and our will."

2. Reflect on God's Word
Two passages from Luke Chapter 2 do a great job of displaying how Mary, the mother of Jesus, does just this.

17 And when [the shepherds] saw [the baby],

they made known the saying that had been told to them

concerning this child.

18 And all who heard it wondered

at what the shepherds had told them.

19 But Mary treasured up all these things,

pondering them in her heart.

49 And He said to them,

"Why were you looking for me?

Did you not know that I must be in my Father's house?"

50 And they did not understand the saying that He spoke to them.

51 And He went down with them and came to Nazareth

and was submissive to them.

And His mother treasured up all these things in her heart.

Both of the above passages describe situations in which Mary and the people around her were confused and unable to understand what was being said in regards to Jesus. Instead of just simply wondering about them and moving on, accepting confusion, Mary stored these thoughts up in her heart so that she could continue metabolizing them and gain a greater understanding of her son and His destiny.
I have to admit that there are plenty of times when I read something in scripture and after a few times of passing my eyes over the words without grasping anything, I just move on, "promising" myself that I'll examine it more closely later. This is definitely an area that I need to work on - I'll expand on this in my next Unstuck post.

3. Respond to God's Word
This is essentially another way of looking at sanctification - that journey all Christians take to become more and more like Christ.
1 Corinthians 13:13 [The Message]>>

13 But for right now, until that completeness

[when we arrive in Heaven],

we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation:

Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly,

love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

Consider what C.S. Lewis said in Mere Christianity:
"The New Testament...talks about Christians 'being born again'...about 'putting on Christ'; about Christ 'being formed in us'; about our coming to 'have the mind of Christ.'
Put right out of your head any ideas that these are only fancy ways of saying that Christians are to read what Christ said and try to carry it out - [...] It is not a question of a good man who died two thousand years ago. It is a living Man, still as much a man as you, and still as much God as He was when He created the world, really coming and interfering with your very self; killing the old natural self in you and replacing it with the kind of self He has."
With this in mind, simply reading definitely isn't enough!

So in regards to cleaning...
** Went through some more of my academic folders and got rid of a bunch of stuff! It's funny how you think an entire folder full of papers from a class relevant to your future is going to be useful...yeah no, once I started combing through some of the untouchable folders - I found a lot that I could recycle - and, of course *sigh*, more scientific papers that I could just find online and save as pdfs.
** Continued to go through my giant stack of completely random papers - once I get through it all, I'll post a picture - the size of this sucker is depressing...
** Finished filing away all my coupons
** Started cleaning out empty vials (from the bugs...)

Because I feel like things are going a little too slowly, today I'm setting some goals >>
1. Finish putting all my books in my bookcases
2. Finish cleaning out all the empty vials
3. Finish going through the giant paper stack
4. Fold the clean clothes sitting in the laundry room (yeah, this pile has been sitting there since before my LBS challenge...lol)

State-of-mind pic of the day:

A banana grove in the village of Mto wa Mbu, TZE.

[taken by me]

Well, that's all for today - here's to being hopeful for a productive afternoon!!

...oh yeah...I also have a paper that I need to get started...

Getting unstuck in my walk with Christ - Day 16

noreply@blogger.com (KnittyKitty) — Sat, 21 Jul 2012 05:37:00 +0000

One of my best friends popped by this afternoon and so any plans I had made to organize this evening went out the window - but I'm super excited and thankful that she came by! This'll be a short post, but I at least wanted to stay on track ;-)

Cleaning...
Today was another fairly slow day but I did manage to get a few things done. I've realized that it helps a great deal to keep my mind on staying intentional and persevering to the end. I just repeat the mantra, "be intentional, be intentional" over and over in my mind and I can make it through even the most mundane of tasks (more on the mundane tomorrow).

So accomplishments:
- all coupons are clipped
- all old coupons are thrown away
- all current coupons are filed away
- maintenance cleaning is still going well!!
- dishes were put away
- some newspapers were gone through
- some snail mail was dealt with
- some random articles about Buffy I had laying around (haha) were read and recycled
- and email is back down to manageable levels...

Spiritual reflections...
"You are going to come across words and sentences that stab you awake to a beauty and hope that will connect you with your real life." - Eugene H. Peterson

What a great view of the love story that we have so easily available at our fingertips!

John 8:31-32 says >>

31 So Jesus said to the Jews

who had believed him,

"If you abide in my word,

you are truly My disciples,

32 and you will know the truth,

and the truth will set you free."

-Is truth setting me free? [question from Chapter 7 of Unstuck]
Many times truth does set me free. I anxiously await those glorious moments when Christ's love fills me with awe and admiration and I cannot believe that I am His wife and am always wrapped in His arms. But honestly, my depression and loneliness does occasionally bring me away from the freedom that truth brings. When I fall into these feelings, it's a downward spiral that sucks me in and refuses to let me go. I don't even want these feelings to let me go when I'm stuck in their bondage. That's what's so weird about feeling down...once you're there, you just crave more and more. I know these feelings will always be a part of me (brain chemistry is simply a fact of life, says scientist me), but I also know that, with Christ's help, I don't have to be in bondage to them. His joy, love, and freedom can fill me with the utmost sense of completeness and fulfillment...I just have to be willing to not crave the shackles.

I have resolved to memorize 2 Peter 1:3-11 to help keep my mind on higher things and to remember the great promises that I have in Christ Jesus >>

3 His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness,

through the knowledge of Him who called us to His own glory and excellence,

4 by which He has granted to us His precious and very great promises,

so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature,

having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.

5 For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue,

and virtue with knowledge, 6 and knowledge with self-control,

and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness,

7 and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.

8 For if these qualities are yours and are increasing,

they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful

in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

9 For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind,

having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins.

10 Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent

to confirm your calling and election, for if you practice these qualities

you will never fall. 11 For in this way there will be richly provided for you

an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

State-of-mind pic of the day
Ngorongoro Crater, TZE (taken by me)

Getting unstuck in my walk with Christ - Day 15

noreply@blogger.com (KnittyKitty) — Thu, 19 Jul 2012 11:07:00 +0000

Some additional thoughts about Christ's love...

Yesterday I was reacquainted with the fact that the Bible is a love story written just for me. A love story written so that I could deeply engage in a powerfully intimate 2-way relationship with my Lord and Savior who is also my husband. I think back to the ways I've felt and acted in earthly love relationships and I couldn't wait to spend more time with a boyfriend or talk to him or see him. I would put homework and other tasks aside in a heartbeat if it meant more time with him. I want to see Christ this way and want to devour his love letters to me. I remember when my heart thrilled with joy at the site of an email, Facebook message, random physical note, or other such communication from an earthly love and wonder why I don't usually feel the same way when opening up the scriptures as I read the Word's of a man who died for me - not only to save me in this earthly life but to save me from ultimate damnation so that I would be able to spend eternity with Him!! What love is greater than that??

And now for some quotes from Chapter 6 of Unstuck >>

Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote, "The Word of Scripture should never stop sounding in your ears and working in you all day long, just like the words of someone you love. And just as you do not analyze the words of someone you love, but accept them as they are said to you, accept the Word of Scripture and ponder it in your heart, as Mary did." [emphasis mine]

Michael Ross, Unstuck author - "God's Word is a living masterpiece - a passionate love story - yet we often treat it as a legal resource to use as proof of what we believe." [emphasis mine]

Michael Ross - "He wasn't leading me into Bible reading - He was compelling me to engage His message to me with a lover's passion. He was showing me how to find my Savior in His pages...how to have 'a daily walk with Jesus.'" [emphasis mine]

And lastly, a quote from Ian Morgan Cron's novel, Chasing Francis: A Pilgrim's Tale [I haven't read this] on what the Bible really is beyond the doctrines and commandments, "But the Bible is less about ideas or doctrines than it is a story about people and their up-and-down relationship with God." How true this is! As little kids, we hear stories of big time biblical leaders from the pages of Scripture, but are often spared the messy details. As we get older and start reading the Bible for ourselves, we see that each one of them has some sort of downfall, sin that keeps trapping them in their humanity. We are shown the fallibility of biblical/historical heroes so that we can truly see the extent of God's love and see how these heroes have a genuine 2-way relationship with God/Christ where He moves in their lives to change and mold them as they learn and grow.

And once again, Jimmy Needham puts it brilliantly:

Take me, my love, escape with my heart

In chasing You

I will run right past the radiant sun

Until I find myself right where You are

[Right Where You Are]

So then, how did cleaning go yesterday?

- Well, I conquered LBS!!!! Woohoo :-) ...for a day at least lol. I washed 3 loads and folded and put away all 3. I even folded and put up the sheets I washed rather than just piling them on my bed, which seems to be my unfortunate habit...

- I also did a good bit of random maintenance cleaning, the results of which feel great this morning!

- And I ran the dishwasher and already have the clean dishes drying :-)

So not too much in the realm of organizing but I feel less buried and overburdened - which makes the organizing easier and makes me feel less stressed out.

I won't make goals today - we'll just have to see how everything goes...but I'm hopeful.

State-of-mind pic of the day.

Me in awed happiness in Maasailand, TZE.

(taken by me)

Getting unstuck in my walk with Christ - Day 14

noreply@blogger.com (KnittyKitty) — Wed, 18 Jul 2012 18:05:00 +0000

Good morning! I'm feeling pretty good about today's potential - I think I'm going to be able to get a lot done...yesterday was pretty much a no go with appointments and homework filling up my schedule. I have to go out once today to take care of a couple of things but that shouldn't take much more than an hour - fingers crossed for today's success ;-)

Cleaning...
Regardless of yesterday's being a bust, I have done a few things already this morning.
-Washing towels
-Washing dishes
-Going through the 2 huge gray trash bags in the back room...they were pillows!!!...and a bear rug lol. The bear rug immediately went to the donation pile - I loved it when I was a teenager and feel like a current teenager should now have it. I also chose 1 of the pillows to give away. The rest of the pillows will fit in perfectly in my living room - why in the world have I let them languish in a garbage bag for so long?!? They're lovely :-)

So one thing that I'm going to focus on today is LBS, which Sarah Mae discusses in her Day 10 post. When I first saw this acronym, I assumed it meant Lazy Bones Syndrome, which of course is something important to tackle...but also very abstract. No, LBS means Laundry Basket Syndrome - a much more concrete and conquerable deficiency! If you are a person whose clean clothes pile up on your bed, in a chair, or in the laundry basket...then you suffer from LBS. I certainly do! I HATE folding clothes and so my clean clothes just pile up and up until I have to spend an inordinate amount of time focusing on redrying them to get the wrinkles out and putting them all up. Or sometimes, I'll want to wear a particular shirt and so I have to dig through to find it and then toss it in the dryer for a few minutes - instead of simply pulling it out of the closet...lol.
So today, I plan on going through all of my laundry and folding and putting up the clothes that are clean. The Martha challenge is to do as many loads as you can, but to put away one load before starting the next - probably a good plan... I just wish that the washer and dryer didn't have such different cycle lengths - but hey, that's a small complaint and I'll live ;-)
The Mary verse for this challenge is Galatians 6:9 >>

And let us not grow weary of doing good,

for in due season we will reap,

if we do not give up.

What a great motivator and pick me up - definitely a verse to write on my heart for all those times when I just don't feel like continuing with certain tasks.

Okay, so on to Unstuck >>

Last night I finished Chapter 6 and loved it! A large part of this chapter is a story by a woman named Theresa about how she went from believing in a God of Rules to falling in love with the God of the Bible. And that's what this chapter is mostly about - falling in love with Jesus. What a fabulous and vital topic for every Christian to study. One of my absolute favorite songs speaks to this so well - Jars of Clay's "Love Song for a Savior":

He's more than the laughter

or the stars in the heavens

As close as a heartbeat

or song on our lips

Someday we'll trust Him

and learn how to see Him

Someday He'll call us

and we will come running

and fall in His arms

and the tears will fall down

and we'll pray,

"I want to fall in love with You"

Maybe I like this song so much because it connects so well with my conversion experience. I just realized how the last 3 lines of the chorus parallel perfectly with what I shared in yesterday's post.
No wonder this was the song that I ran to immediately after one of the scariest and most painful experiences of my life - one of the "bad things" I mentioned in Day 8's post.

And...back to Theresa. I'll give you some excerpts from her story because her words really put it well:

"I realized I needed to pursue Christ as my closest companion and best friend. I must put all else aside to be with Him. He must be my heart's priority, even while I attend to life's everyday business."

Remember Day 11 and Day 6?

"Being in relationship with Him isn't about religion or following rules. To be in true relationship with Him I must pursue...
...His heart
...His passions
...His character
...the truth."

"Nurturing a relationship involves trust, transparency, surrender, and above all a two-way connection. Close friends - especially lovers - must talk and grow together daily, not occasionally."

I know this last bit a little too well from bad experiences in earthly relationships. In addition, I've been exposed several different times to the incredible truth that Jesus is our husband. Just as the church is his bride, each Christian individually is also his bride. Take a look at The Voice's translation of Zephaniah 3:17 >>

The Eternal your God

is standing right here among you,

and He is the champion

who will rescue you.

He will joyfully celebrate over you;

He will rest in His love for you;

He will joyfully sing because of you

like a new husband.

So to truly build a firm and loving relationship with Christ, we must treat Him as if He is our husband...which He is! And such an approach involves a lot more than passive robotocism!

Theresa continues, "I am called to a dynamic, life-giving intimacy with Jesus. He speaks to me; He leads me into deeper love and deeper truth and deeper life through His love letters written just for me (and just for you). It is only through relationship with Jesus that I can become intimately engaged with Him through His word. And as I feed on His word to me, I am changed."

A great phrase she uses to describe this change is that He works to "love me into His image."

Oh how I want to be loved into His image and have an intimate deep personal relationship with my savior. While to some degree this is the case currently in my life, there are so many moments when the relationship could be deeper. I want to fall in love with Him daily and build up a glorious 2-way communication that pervades my life and doesn't just come up when I need Him most or when I am most thankful.

The authors of Unstuck also add, "As Theresa spent time with Him, pursuing His heart, she began to see, to experience, to know Him as her King and her Lord, her Protector and her Provider, and most of all, the Lover of her soul."

I want to end with this verse from Daniel chapter 2:

22 He reveals deep and hidden things;

He knows what is in the darkness,

and the light dwells with Him.

Christ's light illuminates all of our deep, hidden, dark parts and although this may be a frightening concept to some, I want to point out that it is actually incredibly hopeful and uplifting. Since He loves us no matter what, and He is well aware of our individual downfalls, He can all the better work in us to make us more like Him :-)

Check out Philippians 2:1-11 for more on the heart, character, and attitude of Christ.

State of mind pic of the day

Mazumbai, TZE (taken by me)

God of the failed, ungodly, unable, and unwilling...

noreply@blogger.com (KnittyKitty) — Tue, 17 Jul 2012 19:06:00 +0000

This morning I came across a quote, brimming with truth, beauty, and incredible hope >>

“Christianity is the gospel of the failed,

of the ungodly, the unable, the unwilling,

who simply woke up one day

invited to God’s house and went. Period.”

- John Lynch

My conversion experience was exactly like this.
I was driving home from high school one day listening to one of my WOW CDs from years past and Jaci Velasquez's "God So Loved" came on. Now I wasn't listening to this CD because I was a Christian or even had any Christian sentiments. When I was in the 7th grade I went through a really odd phase in which I decided I was a "Christian" and got my mom to get me all these WOW CDs. I even listened to the Christian radio station - 101.1 Reality. The phase lasted for no more than 2 months at the most. It didn't take long at all for me to revert right back to the previous religion that I held. A religion that I practiced for some 8 years. Sorry about not going into details on that matter, it's just a little too personal.
So anyway, I'm driving along and this song starts streaming out of my speakers. The words hit me as if I have never heard them before. If you can't already tell from the song's title, the chorus is John 3:16 -

For God so loved the world,

that He gave His one and only Son

that whosoever believes in Him

will not perish but have

everlasting life.

I was suddenly incredibly aware of my failings and inability. The reality of my sin hit me like a freight train, waking me up from an 18-year long coma. God's desire for me to enter His house and be a part of His loving family washed over me with an unparalleled power. He invited me into His house and I had no choice but to go - it simply wasn't possible to take any other path.

I woke up, was invited, and went. Period. Just like the above quote says. I had no say in the matter and I am incredibly thankful for that. Because if such a thing were left up to my incredibly human heart and mind, I don't know if I ever would have stepped over the threshold. I am weak and unable and everyday I thank God for that truth! I don't want to rely on my own power because, without God, I am a constant failure, a perpetual sinner, and useless to make a positive impact in this world. But God doesn't care that that's who I am, He loves me despite all of that and maybe even because of all that. He welcomes me into His arms because He is the God "of the failed, of the ungodly, the unable, [and] the unwilling."

Getting unstuck in my walk with Christ - Day 13

noreply@blogger.com (KnittyKitty) — Mon, 16 Jul 2012 01:02:00 +0000

Good evening all :-)

Organizational matters >>
I continue to find more junk around my house that needs to be dealt with.

Can you believe I still have terribly written stories from my early elementary years packed away in binders?? I finally realized that there's a big difference between those that are really cute and worth keeping and those that are just taking up space. Looks like I really need to just read through the ones I don't remember so that I can gauge which category they fall into. That's gonna take awhile, but I think I'll eventually be able to pair down my 3 folders to just 1. Some of the really good ones that I wrote in middle school and beyond, I need to start retyping into my computer and back up on my external hard drive so that I can not only clear up space, but also make it possible to easily edit them in the future.

In the same vein, I've been going through my art work for the zillionth time and am finally making those hard decisions, that I couldn't make before, on what's actually good enough to keep and what's actually memory-filled enough to keep.

Same goes also for my theatre notes and such. I'll keep scripts and playbills of plays I've been in but notes from activities that I did in classes...yeah, recycling bin!

Oh, and last but not least, I had loads of English papers from high school and college - WHAT?!? I'm not even interested in English. Once again, a huge pile to the recycling bin, lol.

That's pretty much been the extent of my cleaning for the past 24 hours, but that kind of stuff takes forever for Ms. Packrat...

And on to spiritual matters >>

I finished Chapter 5 of Unstuck and want to mention a few more great finds from the chapter itself.

First off, the authors give a 4th equation to add to the 3 equations of Paul's theology:

Relationship (with Christ) + Truth (in the Word) = Spiritual Growth

Additionally, as I mentioned in Day 12, we grow in and become more mature in our faith when we come face to face with our weaknesses. I love this passage from Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:

9 But he said to me,

"My grace is sufficient for you,

for my power is made perfect

in weakness."

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly

about my weaknesses,

so that Christ's power may rest on me.

And from the authors of Unstuck: His grace is free; as we acknowledge our brokenness, we allow Him to work in our hearts on all levels. He moves into our hurts, hopes, resentments, desires, mistakes - each and every last "region" of us. He alone truly knows our most private thoughts, longings, and struggles.

I can't think of a more uplifting message than this - that our failures and hurts are exactly what brings us closer to God. Turning to him in our times of brokenness and need makes ALL the difference as I stated in Day 8 in regards to bad things that have happened in my life. Because I welcomed God's working through me during those difficult and heartbreaking situations, I can now, on the other end, honestly tell people that I am thankful these things happened to me. I don't regret them one bit because if they had never happened I would not be where I am now. In my opinion, this is one major difference between Christians and non-Christians - I rejoice in my pain because of the grace and divine closeness that it leads me to :-)

The Message's translation of Romans 12:11-12 puts what we must keep in mind quite nicely:

Don't burn out;

keep yourselves fueled and aflame.

Be alert servants of the Master,

cheerfully expectant.

Don't quit in hard times;

pray all the harder.

In other words, we must always be vigilant to recognize the hard times and to treat them for what they are - amazing opportunities to grow more in Christ.

I serendipitously ran across 3 different blog posts this morning that relate really well to today's post. Check them out to read more on trusting God in any situation:

Is Your Mindset About God Flawed by Jamie - She takes sort of an opposite approach to this whole topic by reminding us that sometimes when we surrender all to God, He does give us great blessings - that it's not always about learning through suffering.

Liabilities and Assets by Sarah Markley - She gives a candid account of how while she would love to go back and change the mistakes that she made, she also wouldn't give them back for the world because of how they have changed her life in Christ.

A Reminder to Depend Like a Child - On how God wants us to depend on Him the way a child depends on his mother.

I'll finish today by quickly covering the chapter's end questions.

Malachi 4:1-3 : What healing touch do I need from the Lord?

2 But for you who fear My name,

the sun of righteousness shall rise

with healing in its wings.

You shall go out leaping

like calves from the stall.

-Comfort in the fact that He has a plan for my future family.

Deuteronomy 4:32-40 : Do I live as though God truly is all-powerful and all-loving?

35 To you it was shown,

that you might know that the Lord is God;

there is no other besides Him. 36

Out of heaven He let you hear His voice,

that He might discipline you.

And on earth He let you see His great fire,

and you heard His words

out of the midst of the fire. 37

And because He loved your fathers

and chose their offspring after them

and brought you out of Egypt

with His own presence, by His great power, 38

driving out before you

nations greater and mightier than you,

to bring you in, to give you their land

for an inheritance, as it is this day, 39

know therefore today,

and lay it to your heart,

that the Lord is God

in heaven above and on the earth beneath;

there is no other.

-Not when I fall into the bondage of lonely thoughts and disconnected feelings.

Matthew 15:21-28: Do I live as though Jesus loves me fully, no matter my hang-ups and imperfections?

-Yes, I would say that the vast majority of the time I truly do.

It's what gets me through every day :-)

I'd also like to mention that this story of the faith of a Canaanite woman is a fantastic example of how Jesus just wants us to show unwavering faith in how we approach our lives. I'd never looked at the passage in this way before but since Jesus started off with chastisement of the woman for expecting something from Him even though she was not a Jew then ended, after her display of faith, by offering her full access to Him, the meaning of this story really opened itself up to me.

State-of-mind pic of the day:

Tarangire National Park in Tanzania

(taken by me)

That's all for now! Good luck in cleaning and have a fabulous Sunday night :-)