Irish Tightness

What's grosser than gross?

2012-01-18T22:22:00.003-05:00

Ahh the good ol days when the pinnacle of knute-schoolyard coolness was delivering the ultimate nasty conundrum. Folks, we're not talking about landing buttcheek-spread on a neon pink float-sized Trojan unicorn here. We mean what is the sickest quarterback scenario for Notre Dame Football in 2012?

Chuck Martin runs the entire offense, calls plays, uses his available personnel, everything with a lean towards "pro-style" with Rees and Kiel. Brian Kelly runs an entire offense as well, using a different skill set group and philosophy, likely leaning to "spread" with Golson and Hendrix.

Clearly there would be some cross over people, but split up specialists and create two distinct and unique offenses complete with their own coaches and philosophies. Now envision your favorite Jabbawalkie dance off reality show.

Each offense could be featured week to week if necessary, specifically if there is a glaring matchup advantage from one particular style. Otherwise you just run whichever out as fast as possible and blow opponents minds out their helmet earholes. Change crews after timeouts to mess with people. Run alternating tempo series and sneak someone in for an explosion plays later in the game.

Think of it. What's grosser than gross? What's better than Chuck Martin totally running shit and bringing a focused and coherent offensive attack to 2012. Whats better than hitting the seam with Eifert in Norman OK to go up on the Swooners.

Ohhhhhh.... what about Hurricane Kelly as the second punch with a oregon-style tempo spread attack with Golson Ice and Roby Toma doing hacky-sack laterals to Theo Riddick. As soon as people make all their halftime adjustments, you pull the rug. Think about it. Total confusion.

Provided these units can produce one quarterback each who enjoys sharing the pigskin with their own team members more than defenders, this can be done. Two is better than one.

THIS is NASTY.

THIS is a decided SCHEMATIC ADVANTAGE.

This turns offensive production into a contest and charges two phenomenal coaches with the task of one-upmanship.

DISCLAIMER: If Kansas does this, we can guarantee Charlie Weis got the idea here. We'll have to check sitemeter, but it's at least 67% true that he still stalks us from the chuckweis.com days. (No hard feelings buddy. We were harsh. Being right doesn't have to be so obnoxious)

Brian Kelly

2011-12-06T21:09:00.002-05:00

He gets it.

It is going to be good.

It appears to be done the right way.

Brian Kelly will have an undefeated season.

That is all.

Blessed are those who have not seen, yet still believe

'Tis the Season to Believe in Brian Kelly

2011-11-30T14:05:00.004-05:00

We address thee during this time for great anticipation of the berth. Prepare ye the way of the Bowl. Pre...pare thee... the.... waaaaaay.... of... the........Booooooooooowl.

There are a couple assurances in our lives. First, we know Christ the Redeemer will be born again on Christmas this year. Also we know that ND Football will be born again under Coach Brian Kelly. There are a lot of fans upset that we didn't go undefeated, who think Kelly should be removed, and even some doing the Urban New Jack Swing on the Oscar Meyer Sack (it's a dance move of sorts). The truth is there is no quick fix in life. Jesus spent close to 30 years dealing with crybabies, Zealots, and those of us that covet.

Urban Meyer is the one who got away. The Crazy Hot Chick. We get it. There is no person on earth who would have rather hired Weis than Urban Meyer for 2005. Except maybe Charlie Jr. And look, even HE would rather be in Florida. The truth is Meyer's road leads to a place where he will be able to walk the walk, and talk the talk, of every grease ball under Federal investigation or indictment to include both drug-traficing boosters and wooing BCS Bowl executives. Could you really see a different outcome if Urban Meyer was coaching amid the scandal, prior to facing Arkansas in the Sugar Bowl? They're perfect for each other.

Brian Kelly is perfect for Notre Dame because he has the Oscar Meyer Sack to do the job right by building from the ground up. He also has every right to say these kids are still learning how to win because it's true. Even Lane Kiffin can take a roster full of 5* kids who are USED to winning 10 games, and maintain what they can already do. We don't need someone to maintain a recent history of consistent winning left by Weis/Willingham/Davie because there isn't one. We need someone who can start from scratch, something Urban Meyer wouldn't even try. How did Kiffin do at a work project like Tennessee that entailed developing and building? Oh that's right, he bailed when it got tough.

Something Brian Kelly requires to complete his project by his deadline is some consistent QB play. Without Brady Quinn, Weis would be lucky to have a similar start as Kelly, and more likely worse. How would Notre Dame look over the last two years with Jimmy? I don't know if Crist, Rees, Hendrix, Golson, Gunner Keil, or Johnny Goodman is the answer, but whoever the starter is next year will get an elite schedule and an opportunity to make some noise. In the mean time, enjoy watching this new baby grow up and marvel at all the miracles he can accomplish.

Just Win Baby

2011-10-29T14:10:00.001-04:00

And look damn good while doing it.

that is all.

Notre Dame's (my) quest for 50

2011-10-10T17:20:00.003-04:00

Some of you Irish faithful out there may have noticed a curious thing happen during last Saturday's game against Air Force. That is, you may have noticed if you weren't already drunkenly dancing around a fire in your underwear in celebration. Somewhere in the fourth quarter (10:12 remaining), David Ruffer popped a 39 yarder into the warm night air in South Bend.

Then it happened.

Quietly.

Calmly.

50 points.

Perhaps some Irish fans looked at the scoreboard and that "52" and thought things like "huh, would ya look at that?" and "Well I'll be..." and "Who hasn't scored a TD for us...Ragone? Well it may not seem like much. But let's test your knowledge of history Mr. I know when Notre Dame last scored 50 points. Let's just see if you do, then.

IN WHAT YEAR DID NOTRE DAME LAST SCORE 50 POINTS?

Answer: 2003

AGAINST WHAT TEAM WAS THIS HALF-CENTURY BEATDOWN?

Answer: Stanford

Why do I know this and why does it matter? Well, as for the mattering part, it probably doesn't. Lots of teams score 50 points quite regularly. You may have seen Oklahoma score 50 points against Texas. And by "Texas" I mean not exactly Air Force. Still, I knew this stat because Notre Dame really hadn't been scoring 50 regularly. As noted by trivia answer number one. They narrowly missed 8 calendar years between 50's as the Stanford game above happened in November.

At some point on a previous blog, this was something we tracked and constantly harped about. The quest for 50 carried on to Knute School, albeit in a more muted tone. Still, at least a few texts floated between fools before sure-fire wins. You think we hang 50 in this one?

Ironically, and perhaps unfairly, the whole thing started as a knock on Charlie Weis. A quick statistical overview shows this criticism works much better in the 2007 - 2009 Weis years (as most shots toward him do), when he only scored in the 40's twice. He was much more prolific in 2005 and 2006, when his ND squads were in the 40's 11 times. Eleven of his thirteen total 40+ outings were wins. Although the last sacred 50 point game was under Willingham, it was by a 5-7 team, and only one other time is his tenure did Willingham hit the 40's even.

In the end, it may only mean a silly arbitrary checkoff item. But I had another one of those checked off last year, which was beating USC. A second check was placed on win a bowl game, too. Coach Kelly has a small badge from me that he will probably never know about (yeah right you know he reads KSF) and I just wanted to mention it. I had faith in him ever since he had a Cincinnati squad hit 70 like a blonde driving an SUV on 80/90.

The whole point is that in college, you don't have NFL parity. Every good team should have multiple landslide wins in each season and when everything clicks and you have offensive talent, you should hit 50. The original knock on Weis was because of his tendency to nurse leads somewhere in the 3rd quarter, because in the NFL you can. You can get tight and run the ball and sit on a 10 or 14 point lead like keeping an egg warm. Not as much in college. Crazy comebacks happen. Quick scores happen. If you want to have a shootout, you have to keep shooting. It was nice to see that Notre Dame did just that and was able to make 33 points given up seem rather inconsequential (and anyone concerned about it shouldn't be).

I guess the quest for 50 is over. Hopefully it's a sign of good to come. 60 seems a little much to wait on, so we need a new quest around here. Let's see, when was the last time we had a Heisman winner...

--GrottoGangster--

QBs and Fighter Pilots

2011-09-27T21:14:00.004-04:00

I have been known to claim that there is no life situation that can't be related to Top Gun through a convoluted metaphor. None. Don't think the limits of this theory haven't been tested, either. I remember in particular one trip to the funeral home that got a bit awkward as I threw a set of dog tags during prayer and walked out playing Highway to the Danger Zone on an 80's era boom box. Luckily for us all, the most recent version of the Top Gun thesis is a bit more cut and dry.

Just as Cougar's performance-induced resignation made way for a volatile and cocky replacement, so to has the switch to Rees felt like a Maverickish (Maverickian?) experiment. Before we diagram this too deeply (i.e. Alex Flanagan as Kelly McGillis) we must dispatch with the idea of Ice Man. Frankly, Andrew Luck might the only QB who fits that bill. I mean, this is pretty cold-blooded:

Back to our own pilots for a bit. We could go further into Top Gun descriptions, but hopefully growing up in a time frame remotely similar to our own, you have these same images burned into your brain. The point here is for Irish fans to realize one thing about Tommy Rees grabbing the joystick on this season: he will be volatile. He will be much more like Maverick than Ice Man. If that bothers you, you have to find solace in the fact that he is also more Maverick than Cougar.

This is a goofy, but important thing to note about Rees. It is important because just after he took control of the plane, lots of second guessing came out about his decisions and propensity to throw picks. Deeper into the season, more risky business (ha) may be on display at the hands of Rees. More people may call for a return to Crist at that point. These reactions are likely to fall under the dangerous assumption most Irish fans were making in the beginning of the year. That Crist was the better quarterback at the time and should be the starter all year, and Rees' lack of polish was a major reason why this was true.

But just like the moment when Cougar stared blankly into the distance and lost control, it was painfully obvious from the beginning the starting QB for Notre Dame was not going to manage the pressure. And just like the unpredictable Maverick, Rees also proved his reaction to that same stress would be wild at times, which is often only marginally better than Cougar-esque paralysis. But that's where the distinction had to be made on this season. Volatility at QB was better than paralysis. Forcing passes was better than not being able to make them at all. The possibility for greatness and legend was outweighing status quo and robotic decisions. We chose the future over the present. A tough decision for coach Kelly, but probably a wise one.

The whole Top Gun concept crystallized during the Pittsburgh game. Much like Maverick again flying through the exhaust and almost stalling out, followed by his subsequent disengagement and seance with Goose, Rees looks disconnected from the task at hand during Pittsburgh's relentless blitzes. Briefly losing control of the environment caused the same debilitating freeze that all fighter pilots and QB's face. But Rees proved on the final drive he was far from being Cougar and more like Maverick.

"Maverick's re-engaging, sir!"

Rees goes on a 8-8 tear with the sure-handed Eifert like Maverick blowing up Migs left and right. He proved he could perform at an elite level in a pressure situation. He proved that he isn't Ice Man day in and day out just yet, but if he feels comfortable in his environment, he truly can be one of the best.

Just remember he is still the guy who shows up to work on the motorcycle and does the fly-by. You probably haven't seen the last reckless decision coming out of the pocket. But with a long flying career ahead of him, chances are you haven't seen the best of him, either. No matter how much risk you like in your quarterback, one thing is for certain. Having Rees in the pocket this year is a lot like Maverick in the cockpit, it's going to make the movie a hell of a lot more entertaining.

--GrottoGangster

Irish Sundays?

2011-09-23T11:58:00.007-04:00

So the fools were discussing this past week, what if there was a way that we could root for all our favorite Notre Dame players without, you know...GUT WRENCHING AND CRIPPLING DESPAIR AFTER 1 LOSS BECAUSE COLLEGE FOOTBALL REFUSES TO PROVIDE A POSTSEASON SYSTEM WHICH REWARDS ANYTHING BUT THE ILLUSION OF PERFECTION, TYPICALLY FOUND AFTER BEATING UP ON A FEW CUPCAKES AND THEN MAKING A RUN THROUGH THE OVERRATED SEC? Well, we debated on and on and finally we discovered a way to cheer on the Irish without the demand for flawlessness. Apparently, there are football games played the day AFTER college games in some new thing called the National Football League. Players actually get paid and they have a playoff system, too. I know, it's weird.

But the best part is this, if you lose one or two games, you are still ok! It's like a DUI if you play for ND or killing someone during a botched drug deal if you play in Florida. You get another chance! Tomorrow is a new day. You only have to wait, like, 5 days to get a new lease on life. It's way easier than being mean to your wife and kids and mumbling something incoherent about 2012 sometime in early September! And get this. If you have a heated rival and you lose to them, no biggie. You get to play them AGAIN later in the year. Probably at home this time! It's freaking awesome!

At first, we were shocked to find out this NFL thing had actually been around for a while. (So that's what all those Colts fans didn't care about before 1998, then cared about until this year, and now don't care about again!) Our first thought was to assemble an all-time Notre Dame NFL dream team of sorts. But there was a couple problems with this. One, it would only provide comfort in the form of nostalgia. And frankly, that's pretty much what Notre Dame does now. No, it would have to be something current, living and breathing.

So let's lay the groundwork of what an NFL team that was really Irish-heavy might look like. You can decide for yourself if it ends up being a viable product. First where to locate? Indianapolis and Chicago seem like obvious places to start. But the Colts fan base is too closely tied to Manning. Joe Montana could come out of retirement and Indy isn't likely to embrace him. Chicago doesn't even have quarterback as a listed position on their roster, so that would work there. But, Chicago is already a recruiting stronghold and it wouldn't do much to break the Midwest rust-belt cycle of mediocrity and clinging to yester-year. We already sent Samardzija to the Cubs. Need we sacrifice more ND football talent to the Windy City cesspool of unfulfilled expectation? (read: Obama)

Better to spread our wings a bit. Weis and Kelly helped cement the long-standing recruiting reach to the East Coast. There has been enough Jersey and Boston moxie floating through South Bend in the past few years. SEC country is a nice area, but there are lots of schools to compete with. Let's see...USC is down this year. But the Raiders are a sketchy bunch. Why send our elitism and ethical standards there? Strangely, a lot of ND players have their NFL road leading to Seattle. But do we entrust our gold helmet heroes to the likes of Pete Carroll? Hell no. Besides, the rain and general malaise of Seattle would cause a typical Notre Dame fan to end it all by week three.

Where else on the West Coast could we start this experiment? We need a team like Notre Dame. Crazy success in the past, but just struggling to get over the hump. Just missing that extra...something. We just need a team that this author happens to like and is getting woefully bored with watching Alex Smith be ordinary. Be sure to wear...some floooooooooowers in your hair.

Say hello to your new-look San Francisco 49ers! The post-graduate choice of Notre Dame football alums! Sort of like the Enterprise Rent a Car management internship for the NFL. We are not saying this team will automatically win Super Bowls. But it sure as hell would break us out of the NFL monotony (of all that hard core dance that it's gotten to be). New coach Jim Harbaugh has his past that we don't like with Michigan, and Stanford ass-whippings, yes. But we embraced Ty. We embraced Corwin Brown. And it's the NFL anyway. Ownership by the DeBartolo's of course, who have connections to Notre Dame (DeBartolo Hall), if you weren't aware. Alex Smith is easily replaced by a bored Brady Quinn or a desperate to prove critics wrong Jimmie Clausen. Take your pick at QB. Would you mind a 1-2 RB combo of Ryan Grant and Julius Jones? I sure wouldn't. For the rough and tumble of you out there, how about having John Carlson, Anthony Fasano and Kyle Rudolph rotating at TE? With Eifert high on your draft board? Golden Tate bookending the outside of a double tight formation? Veteran leadership on the line from Jeff Faine? How about Justin Tuck, Victor Abiamiri and T-Laws rushing to opposing QB? Arnaz Battle running the trick plays.

It certainly would keep my interest in the NFL over fantasy football. While I am in a league for that, it's painfully obvious each week that if I really wanted to squint at my screen and look at a matrix of numbers and become stressed out when people don't live up to expectation, I should just go to work. So I will submit this one to the masses. It's completely self-serving as a 49ers fan, yes. But what other team deserves to be resurrected by a bunch of guys who played under the watchful eye of the ressurected messiah? After all, if there is one thing Notre Dame knows how to do, and San Francisco needs, it's a Return to Glo-- oh look at me. I was almost getting excited there for a minute.

--GrottoGangster

We were merely Freshman

2011-09-20T18:27:00.002-04:00

For the life of me
I cannot forget

im a fan in the stands hollin Hey Baby... YOU GOT DUNKED ON

2011-09-15T18:53:00.002-04:00

The mission is simple

2011-09-08T18:32:00.003-04:00

You must either band together and retaliate, or roll over for your enemies to shoot you in the back.

The Notre Dame football Irish defended themselves valiantly in the second half of 2010 to salvage an 8-5 record and got the opportunity to put a text-book ARSE KICKING on everybody's favorite greaseball program: Miami.

Today they sit 48 hours away from the challenge of saving a MNC/BCS Bowl shot, which relative to goals, is THE goal. Relatively speaking.

The question is will this team, which is clearly more capable through proper training and skill development in a proven system, "Rise and strike."

Under Weis, the Notre Dame football machine's rate of ascent after falling to the tarmac was akin to the coach himself operating a Craftmatic adjustable recliner chair, complete with hydraulic dumping action. (Granted, Jimmy Clausen was a scrappy little bastard who knew how to win and is sorely missed.)

Starting with a contest a little more than 2 days from this writing, Notre Dame has the opportunity to fight their way out of a little shithole in Michigan and reengage the participants in the ultimate mission.

It's time to upgrade from the Beta version to 1.1. Wait until 11.1 drops. Steve Jobs will cry blood like a Blessed Mother statue.

Triumvirate?

2011-09-05T13:52:00.005-04:00

A triumvirate (from Latin, "of three men") is a political regime dominated by three powerful individuals

Of course, if by political regime you mean offensive production. And...we do mean that.

Irvin - Novacek - Smith : Rice - Jones - Watters : Samardzija - Fasano - Walker

Floyd - Eifert - Wood?

Do those last three stand up as a viable and potent WR - TE - RB triple threat? Before you can go down that road, you have to make sure you have a quality quarterback who can distribute. Troy Aikman. Steve Young. Brady Quinn.

Hmm. Let's see here. Ctrl-X "Crist". Ctrl-V "Rees".

That's better. Nothing personal to Crist. It's just that when Rees starts working it around, tossing balls over CB heads to Floyd, and threading between the hash needles to Eifert, we hear Mayock telling us the difference Rees makes is the timing of the throws. We find ourselves nodding with a smile.

Throughout 2010 and the gut-wrenching hair-drenching opener of 2011, it is clear Kelly has a lot of offensive buffet options. We all talked excitedly in the lead up to 2011 about no less than 8 offensive guys who could make plays. But football games have a funny way of showing who the best are, and buffets rarely have more than 3 items you need to write home about.

The loss to South Florida showed a clear cut line between those ready for flashing lights and screaming fans and those who may still need "warmed up." Again, there is no animosity toward players who looked rusty, didn't see passes coming, or dropped fumbles inside the 5. It just means they aren't there yet. The fall play still needs the chorus, but not everyone is going to be the lead.

Here's an audio and video-supported case that out of all those offensive buffet items, a few rose to the occasion and proved they should be the pillars of the offense moving forward until further notice. These men are Rees, Floyd, Eifert and Wood. You will see and hear in the video about not only their production with the football, but their protection of it. The former was important against USF, the latter was painfully critical.

This doesn't mean we are off Riddick. Or Gray. Or Jones. (probably Crist though) We don't want to be so rash as to write someone off for a fumble. We just think we should start consolidating investments into the three funds currently out performing the others (and their Lipper average) in dramatic fashion. Floyd. Eifert. Wood.

A Kelly offense should and will allow for the others to make plays and get highlights. Alvin Harper, John Taylor, and Maurice Stovall all supported the famous trios mentioned before. All were huge contributors and memorable players. But it may be time to stick with what works, keep the ball in sure hands, and pump touches into three players that shined through the rain on Saturday night.

Balanced offense is a nice thought, but not if your definition of it is momentum-killing incompletions, ignoring playmakers, and having multiple guys coughing the ball up in various ways. There is nothing wrong with 80,000 people seeing what works, and doing it. We are not suggesting something to shatter the Earth here. We are suggesting the obvious. Feed the beasts.

Week 2: Michigan Adjustments

2011-09-04T09:39:00.004-04:00

The week 1 plan was clearly not executed. Hard to say if it was coach or player at fault but the reality is there are 6 days until you face a jacked up Michigan team at night and you will be prepared AND execute this time or you will be embarrassed.

ADJUSTMENTS NEEDED:

Rees starter. Gets 85% of reps in practice.

Make the decision now... can McDaniel or Atkinson play against Michigan? if the answer is no, Riddick focuses on nothing but RB this week. ND needs a legitimate backup RB and clearly Wood had success last night. We love Theo's skill set, but talent without game-day execution is pointless. (ie: Crist) We know Riddick can take a handoff and run forward. He appears to only drop the ball when it is thrown or kicked, so lets just start back with handoffs. This is already an upgrade from Jonas.

If Riddick is only RB for the immediate future, Goodman or B-Jax needs to be back for punts. KSF has opined many times that we want an explosive return game, but not at the expense of the possession arrow. Is a 1-8 chance of runback worth a 1-4 chance of turning it over? No. Either put Goody in and expect 5 yards tops or Bennett or Roby Toma for all we care, just take care of the ball.

Speaking of Toma.... with Riddick in the backfield, Toma runs with the #1s now. Gets the same 85% of the reps that Rees is taking.

Use Eifert in the course of the game, not just in OH SHIT mode. This always drove me nuts about Weis. We want to establish the run so we do it 9000 times in a row. Please feel free to incorporate the TE or the best receiver in the Nation at a time less obvious than 3rd and 8 or the entire second half when you are trailing. I throw 8" above everyone and let Tyler jump for it before I hand to Jonas Gray.

There you have it folks. Get Tommy Rees and Roby Toma with the 1s ASAP. Prep Riddick for RB duty with a 60/40 split with Cierre. Make sure and congratulate C-dub on holding onto the ball. Teams that turn the ball over 5 times don't win, and good for Wood not partaking in last night's hot potato shitfest. Change up punt return with someone who is not afraid to secure the ball, get hit, or run forward.

This should be sufficient to beat Michigan.

BAD FIRST DATE: the morning after with ND

2011-09-04T09:07:00.002-04:00

Strangely calm this morning. Numb is more like it. The KSF made mention in the IBG 2011 that we'd rather lose to Michigan than U$C if for no other reason than that IF you lose, the EARLIER the better.

Well this was a little too early, but its done.

The last 15 seconds of this video truly sum up how Skippy this date was.

"Who should win the Paul Hornung Award in 2011?"

2011-08-30T18:48:00.003-04:00

Well, that depends on if The Paul Hornung Award wants to be a joke like the Heisman Incorporation Foundation Conglomeration ESPNation Memorial Association Trophy or not.

Sadly, the ESPN Kirk Hirby Heisman Floral Trophy goes to the best looking QB on the team with the best record or the most crooked RB in a maroon jersey color. Yes, it is difficult to meet the trifecta of outstanding college football play, a pursuit of excellence, AND INTEGRITY... but somehow this gets awarded yearly to a worthy player. (For the record, Brady Quinn is a hunk and only lacked the trivial "best record" component. Plus, that Russian judge is a bitch.)

If The Paul Hornung Award truly wants to live up to their mission: to recognize the most versatile high-level performer in major college football, I believe it will go to Theo Riddick for 2011. This not a prediction so much as a definitive statement prognosticated 5 months prior to when this will happen. Just reference the Sports Almanac in Back to the Future II if you're confused, OK McFly?

Brian Kelly states in the August 30, 2011 press conference that "if Theo needs a (rest), he'll get it on offense." Sounds like 80 yard returns to the KSF. Our only contention is why wouldn't BK just say "Theo will rest during all the times we're kicking off and the next 3 downs if we don't recover it." That would be more consistent with our yet untested probability model for a 160-0 game. What? It goes for 2 everytime because the game isn't over. High Frequency Scoring Algo.

Theo. Running back turned receiver and nasty return man. Theo had over 1,000 all-purpose yards in 2009 and close to 500 in 2010. We expect him to post another 1,500 this year in the most versatile fashion, in the most high-level manner.

Riddickulous.

Yet another season prediction

2011-08-23T20:59:00.005-04:00

Now that Dayne Crist has been tapped on the shoulders with the sword, the forming ranks coming out of the tunnel are beginning to materialize. What better way to pass the agonizing few days left before the season than yet another game-by-game prediction? It will be based on nothing but impressions from previous games, underlying hatred for regional rivals, deep longings to rectify usual Achilles heels, coin flipping, and Googling "South Florida." Everyone else gets to play prognosticating expert, why not KSF?

Week 1: South Florida (home)

If you count the 2007 campaign as more of a biblical plague than a football season, such as we do, then you could easily remove the home opener from that year and convince yourself the Irish are actually great opening game performers. Unfortunately, two of the fools actually attended that game, in glorious 47 yard line seats, only to watch a 3 qb-ring circus unfold before our dropped jaws. The only thing Notre Dame could do to stop Georgia Tech that day was wait 8 months and hire Jon Tenuta. Little did we know at the time what that season would turn into. Lamenting the Georgia Tech loss that day was like complaining about cold soup on your first day at Auschwitz. So let's pretend 2007 never happened. Without going deep into history, even the up and down Charlie Weis years yielded some pretty good feelings in game 1. 2005 brought a 3 TD romp over Pittsburgh under the lights. 2006 was a gritty 14-10 over G-Tech, with the Ndukwe hiton Calvin Johnson. 2008 the Irish apparently beat San Diego state in a game no one remembers. 2009 was Michael Floyd beating Nevada by himself while the rest of the squad watched. And last year was a nice Jalapeno popper app against Purdue. South Florida has more than a few wins in their week 1 games as well, but consider that their menu included in the same span: McNeese State, Elon, Tennessee-Martin, Wofford and Stony Brook. All this is meant to say one thing. A lot of teams start out great, but a lot of teams play tune-ups. Notre Dame's week 1 is usually more like just another game. Pittsburghs, Purdues, Georgia Techs and the like. The closest comparable games seem to be San Diego State and Nevada. Two opponents coming into South Bend with no history, no story. Notre Dame won both and all this is moot anyway. Because only a communist would predict we lose the first game. Congratulations, you are 1-0 and justified in thinking about Michigan now, which you were doing anyway.

Week 2: Michigan (away) (under the lights)

I once toyed with the notion of getting rid of Michigan altogether from the schedule. Not that the AD called me for an opinion or anything. Kinda wish he would have a few years ago when we were all but scheduling cricket teams from India, but hey. Anyone wanting to leave Michigan choking in bus exhaust as you speed away from the rivalry is probably overlooking all that gushy rivalry stuff we all feed on anyway. The history of these two teams, the close proximity. The uniforms, the quest for the all time winningest program and more. No, the problem isn't the game itself. It's how damn early it is. Every year. Second game or third game. Before we even know who we are. Or who they are. Every time ND loses this game, it's not just a loss. It's that first gut-punching defeat that brings you out of the clouds and back into reality. The cold slap in the face that reminds you how silly you were for predicting 12-0 yet again and pricing plane tickets to the Natty game. This game is like having a Calculus class at 7:15 on Monday mornings. You need the knowledge (if you want to be a calculus teacher), you need it to graduate. Only slot left. Mondays at 7:15. Ugh. On the bright side, it has been somewhat of a coin flip in recent years. This time, it's heads up Irish. THEY have to deal with the coaching churn this time around. Everyone will be hype for the lights and the retro duds. To my knowledge, Michigan has never kicked off a game later than 10:00am Eastern time on ABC, so maybe the night sky favors the Irish. 2-0.

Week 3: Michigan State (home)

More coin flipping. More stress. More "who are we" questions asked of the mirror in the dark. No team sucks more life out of the Irish and their fans than this team. For some reason, the rivalry doesn't seem to stand out like Michigan or USC. Inexplicably, Boston College even gets the nod over Sparty half the time as a most love to hate. This game makes or breaks seasons for Notre Dame. This game gives more drama and suspense than half of the others combined. Even their coach had a heart attack. This game catapults Michigan State onto a run through the Big Ten whenever they win. If the Irish beat Michigan the week prior, it's like being down 1 point with one free throw left to go. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't use a sports analogy for a sports concept. Live the dream. This time the Irish prevail because of three things: 1. They won't bite on the fake. 2. They are at home. 3. God doesn't hate me enough to have it end on a :00 play clock. The Irish are now 3-0 and you are wondering who in the hell I am picking them to lose to.

Week 4: Pittsburgh (away)

The Irish fall the first time. Why? For no reason at all. Every rooooooooooose has its thorn. If the prediction held true thus far, Notre Dame is a rare 3-0 with two mitten-dwelling schools in their wake. The preseason 16 rank has probably turned into something like 11th. For a couple reasons. One is standard over reaction to the polls (good or bad) to anything Notre Dame does, two is that 3 different pairings of teams that are both ranked above Notre Dame will have played by this point. Some imposters will already be exposed and start to tumble. It's a bit longer road trip than Ann Arbor, Pittsburgh is just bland and vanilla enough to call it a trap and foolish dreamers will already be discussing USC score predictions before it's in the bag. 3-1.

Week 5: Purdue (away)

Now you see the brilliance of my Pittsburgh pick. Like the moment Kevin Spacy starts to walk without a limp in The Usual Suspects. I want Notre Dame to arrive in West Lafayette with the bus rocking back and forth like a wild hornet's nest. I want Notre Dame to annihilate Purdue. Absolutely destroy Purdue. As a side note, I have been tracking and waiting for the Irish to score 50 points. It hasn't happened since a 57-7 drub of Stanford in 2004. I predict the Irish win, win big and drop a Ulysses S. Grant on Purdue Pete. Irish 53-17. 4-1.

Week 6: Air Force (home)

Another possible trap? Could be. The Irish forget all about losing to Pittsburgh and continue to stomp through town looking for victims with Purdue's blood dripping from their jaws. Some of the other blogs seem to be latching onto this idea that we have struggled against non-conventional offenses as of late. They are right. Still, I have much more faith in the current coaching staff's ability to actually WATCH A VIDEO CASSETTE TAPE before scheming and being prepared for it. Plus, I unequivocally refuse to use any game from 2007 as a reference point for anything. Close call, but Irish are 5-1.

Week 7: USC (home)

I may eat these words, but I don't care. Because I really don't know what to make of USC. Rampant sanctions, Lane Kiffin, and a reunion with Pat Haden I wasn't really thrilled about. Like breaking up with someone and seeing them two days later in line at the DMV and neither of you are willing to leave so you have to pretend you don't see each other for the next 86 minutes. But why not have some fun? The Irish prepare for the game by watching the sure-touchdown drop from last year 342 times. They build a strong lead, execute well, have Brett Favrian levels of fun out there and things just click. They get to pile on a USC team that is falling from grace faster than (tell you what, I'll give options): Amy Winehouse, Challenger, Jim Tressel, Buddy Holly. Irish prevail at 6-1.

Week 8: Navy (home)

The Irish simply can't count on this to be a cupcake. We know that. It was the only game last year that resembled in any way some of the train wrecks that Weis masterminded in his tenure. Even Stanford last year didn't feel like this. Navy finally connected on the scheme-heart-talent trifecta. The talent part was so often missing, but with some of their runners in the past few years, it was enough to steal 3 wins from the soul-searching Irish. Kelly adjusts and prepares and Notre Dame pulls it out on the strength of a reinvented defense. We are all used to picking losses where they occured before because that happened with Weis. Here's to hoping that an Irish victory in the game epitomizes the reason we hired Brian Kelly as a coach. ND is 7-1 and you need some alone time and a towel at this point.

Week 9: Wake Forest (away)

Admittedly, not basing this one on much. Their program, going on record alone, has been in a free fall in the past five years. Another filler game we hope to have hired Kelly to win without dramatics. ND wins for no other reason than it allows me to type "8-1"

Week 10: Maryland (home)

Maryland is too close to a 2-10 campaign in 2009 to have it all figured out. Their record last year (9-4) fizzles out when you see that when playing anyone of note, they lost. One win over a ranked opponent which was a slim margin over #23. They just aren't in the big time. ND is 9-1.

Week 11: Boston College (home)

They ruin it again. All this team knows how to do is find winning opponents and piss in their Cheerios. They ruin. That's what they do. They pull upsets when they feel like it and get blown out when they don't. They come back this year like an STD outbreak and beat Notre Dame on some stupid field goal or a stupid pick 6. This probably happens during inclement weather or with Notre Dame having to manage a serious injury, possibly at QB where we all now fear it most. It doesn't mean they are better than ND. It means they know how to screw things up. 9-2.

Week 12: Stanford (away)

Before Boston College rained on the parade, a 9-1 Irish squad was riding pretty high and even enjoying some outside shot at the title game talk. Boston College beating ND brings a little reality check to the fanbase. Having one to go gives the players a gut check and an overrated Stanford without Harbaugh at the helm gives them an opening to BCS paydirt. The Irish decide the season is worth saving despite the Boston College mishap and play wide open to a Stanford team that leans a bit too heavily on the skills of Andrew Luck. The Irish are able to comfortably put away that chique early season pick that's probably scrapping to make the top 25 by now. 10-2.

Well, there you have one crazy possible season at 10-2. The main reason for the losses was the feeble hope that we don't lose to the same people we always expect to lose to. Namely, USC and Michigan. We should all feel tired of losing those games and even more tired of PREDICTING to lose them. I decided I would rather have some other boring team simply bite us in the ass because the season is long, injuries happen, emotions play a part, and footballs bounce weird because they aren't perfectly round. That sounds better than picking to lose to Michigan and USC because I believe they are still better than us. Especially when both programs have new coaches and are in the midst of absolute hell storms. There is easy logic that by saying we only lose to Pitt and BC, why not go for 12-0? Of course my heart picks that. But the bigger Notre Dame picture has them poised and ready to get back into a BCS and win it. This seemed like a plausible, yet somewhat goofy way to get there. Frankly, it was also the 10-2 scenario that pissed me off the least. 10-2 and BCS means Kelly is as advertised and we are a special QB away from winning the crystal. But tonight, I just wasn't ready to put that on Crist's shoulders. Maybe if he stayed healthy. Maybe if what Kelly says about his improvement is true. For now, he has plenty more to prove. He may as well start with a solid showing against USF. After all, if you forget about 2007, you could tell yourself the Irish are pretty good opening game performers.

Go Irish.

~GrottoGangster

Season Preview

2011-08-16T18:33:00.001-04:00

a trip down video lane

2011-04-29T17:39:00.003-04:00

YouTube - KnuteSchoolFools's Channelgreat free widgetsWidgetboxMore info

Michael Floyd Back at Notre Dame

2011-04-09T00:23:00.002-04:00

That's A-O-TAY in our book.

Notre Dame Throwback Uniforms

2011-04-01T18:40:00.005-04:00

So I guess we are rocking some 60's era throwback against the Michgan Skunkbears. May we just say this are gonna be TIGHTNESS. Here's an old pick from a very talented artist which we envision as the basis for, at a minimum, the helmets versus scUM. Recognizing this is an away game, the jersey's would most likely be white instead of green. Nevertheless, these are a surefire winner from Addidas and the helmet shamrock should stick around either permanently and/or on a frequent ALT UNIFORM basis for barnstorming neutral site affairs.

Throwbacks = old school playa
We = knute school (April) fools

15 days until Blue Gold.... GO IRISH.
23 days until Christ rises from the dead.... GO JESUS!

#C'mon Man

2011-03-23T18:17:00.002-04:00

Buzzed driving IS drunk driving. .19 driving is fucking stupid. C'mon man.

Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-12T14:00:00.000-05:00

Theo Riddick doesn't need to be a Running Back

2011-01-21T18:27:00.005-05:00

He needs to do everything offensive not involving Floyd, Wood, and Eifert (in roughly that order).

But definitely handle punts & kicks. You all know we love Goody and rep #fortdubs to the fullest, but it is time to reinstate a scoring threat in both the punt and alongside Bennett Jackson in kick the kick return games.

BJAX hurdles people, you know.

At any rate some threat remotely similar to Tate (when HE didn't wave), Zibby, or Rocket for the people over 30, would be an immediate upgrade.

Dude is Riddickulous

Brian Kelly has the perfect opportunity to crank out a Heisman Trophy winner in Michael Floyd. (more on this in the offseason). Balance the air with Cierre Wood (assuming he and the football can remain in physical contact) on the grass. Then tossalong with a vertical middle seam threat in Eifert. Totally preoccupy the opponents mind in time for Riddick to bounce through on a reverse, etc. Run a split two back with him and Wood on occasion. Small wildcat package on the scale of the Armando Allen experiment under Weis. As long as Theo has touches to demonstrate big play potential, most obvious being kicks and perhaps 3rd down, then the arsenal should be pretty complete.

Frontline Defense: Mob of Guerilla Soldiers

2011-01-15T13:39:00.005-05:00

>>ENABLE BEAST MODE
>
>
>....COMMENCE SCRIPT

Holy crap, these guys are going to wreak havoc.... IRISH 2011

Brought to you by the letter "M"

2011-01-11T19:14:00.004-05:00

Michigan: nice job guys. my my how Jack Swarbrick shines.

Hell, even Maryland capped a Fridgebox and replaced the cupboard with a BCS coach LIKE NOTRE DAME!!!! AHHHH HAAAAA HAAAAA

Sorry, the point is Michigan got a work project while Maryland finished top 25 and found a guy who (as inexplicably as Friedgen getting fired) grew up in a world where the Terps were a "dream job." And while Hokey Doke might have had a "dream castle fairy wish out-clause" too, we find it hard to believe that scUM fans want small time go grownup hour every saturday.

Now listen, we're less than 100 miles from both UM and Ball St. and our cold country air is perfumed by heartwarming stories from Kent Hormann on the radio about how Hoke is a swell fella. But even a true slackjaw michigan fan knows Hoke is NOT an upgrade from Tricky Rick Mad Hatter Jr.

Brian Kelly > Brady Hoke
Captain Jack Swarbuckles > A-Brandon Ship

We hired Weis, you hired Rodriguez. Both fails, but i think ND was left with more parts a year ago.
We swing in miss on Stoops. You swing and miss on Miles. I'd say we went for a faster pitch but either way it's 1/3 of an out so "wash it."

Notre Dame got undefeated Big East BCS coach Brian Kelly who at the time was 171-57-2 at the time (.743)
Meat Chicken got Brady Hoke who is 47-50 (.484)

Guess who was 44-36-1 (.543)...
Ty Willingham.

Gooooooooooo Irish.
Go Irish.

Beeeeeeeat Skunkbears.
Beat Skunkbears

Suck it Skunkbears.
Go Irish Go.

New Years Blog Picture

2011-01-03T20:31:00.000-05:00

Just do we don't start losing track of this quality work