Rashid Bums Out

2 Months Later

2013-06-27T00:03:00.002+08:00

Last post was kinda dramatic. But today's will be cut short. I'll surely get back to patch things up to where I ended up on my last entry. Right now's going on smoothly. I'm just glad that I didn't had to lose him back then.

Losing Again?

2013-04-26T00:38:00.002+08:00

And the moon is high up there. Maybe I'm really experiencing my full moon syndrome again. And hell I was right. I don't know but full moons have always been a critical time for me each month. Though this one's just a personal belief but I still keep myself cautious of what's going to happen.

But reading from my previous post, a lot had already happened. Last week I was all over with my friends, but now I'm sulking at work having less interaction with the world. Yes, I was the one who decided this but inside me, fear is starting to grow. If this continues, I'll be experiencing another familiar situation, me fading. So ironic but I find this easier than taking a risk to reconnect without knowing if a hand is still willing to grab mine. #DramaOverload

Damn, my blog's being itself again because of these kinds of entries.

I just hate it when I'm on the verge of losing another close friend again. It has always been a big deal but I was always on the losing end for not making a way to at least prevent it from happening. Why am I even thinking about this? Because this has always been a thing with me. It may look like I'm not good when it comes with keeping them but it's the thought of them leaving that hurts me and the feeling of pain is the one that keeps me from going back on that cycle.

But still I take chances, with other people that I get to befriend. I'm not anymore hoping for a happy ending in those romantic relationships knowing that there will always come a time for a fall-out, something that my ex had engraved deep in my heart. So at least I'm trying my best to somehow be a part of something that most people say that lasts, friendship. But reality bites, even that has its ending.

I don't know really, I'm fine with me being solitary... or maybe not.

Shutting Off

2013-04-22T13:45:00.001+08:00

Getting too comfortable with someone has always been a bad habit of mine which had really caused me to get into an argument with those people I got close with. And this time, you guessed it right. Something similar happened again. Weekend was fun, Manila Ocean Park on Saturday then we got invited to have a Sunday swim with our friend's family outing. But this happy weekend ended sourly.

He gets mad, I said sorry on my most normal self, he walks away. My friends went to eat, I bought mine, my friends bought his. Still mad, telling that he won't eat. Thinking that he needs it as he needs to take his med as well but still gave his food away. A little later, came near to get his food, maybe because our friend got irritated of him not eating, but still made the angry scene blaming me of why he's getting mad. I could normally ignore this if this was someone I don't really care about. Someone like a stranger or an acquaintance. But this one's different. This one's been a friend for almost years now. And because of what happened I might have made myself believe that he will never get to understand and accept the me that I've been showing them. So at the end, I myself got mad after thinking of how I am supposed to react that time. Acting the same would only make me look like I don't give a damn. Being mad would also give the impression that "Who gave him the right to be mad where he was even the one who caused this to happen." But still I chose the latter. I got mad because I'm also affected. One moment we're all having fun then the next thing we know I've already being blasted with all those anger. I understand that we're all tired, he's sick and he needs to rest but does he really need to use that stunt to get rid of his piled up temper?

I admit that I might have become too naive to have made all these things too complicated for the two of us. And so maybe, I'll just have to go a couple of steps back to just let it all end here.

But my understanding is only limited to what I can only grasp. What in the hell was on my GM that ticked him off so bad that he has to stare at me with glaring eyes. Of all those what's already been sent, he really did made his way to make me feel that he's furious about the very last one. How did he even interpreted that message? That I don't know. Putting that up with me isn't really something new to me. I've been in several situations, even the bullying part which even my parents didn't knew when I'm still at school. I might look physically weak but I'm not anymore on that level inside. What steamed me up is the fact that for the nth time, I was put in a spot where I couldn't get the truth behind all this.

I don't understand why people can't say it straight to me what went wrong considering that they are friends. I'm too complacent for me to change what's happening around me. But when it's me who caused that change at least tell me what's wrong so that I'll know what to prevent myself of doing it again. Because what usually happens is that I shut myself up and just let it all be even if that means not moving forward. Maybe that's why I haven't really considered being in a real relationship after this long 6 years if I may add.

So I guess this is me shutting off. Maybe it's also a good time for me. No events, no meet-ups. Just do work and let myself be with me again. It's just too ironic that the situation I brought up before happened to occur not with the person who we're expecting it to be. But still it's gonna happen now. So it's back to me and them.

Almost A Year

2013-04-14T00:43:00.000+08:00

I know that there's nothing to worry but still there are times that I just really don't know what to feel. One second I'm happy, another second I get tired, then lonely.

It's the time of the year again, Ozine Fest. I should really be excited and glad to become a part of it again but this time's different. I might have said this before that I am going to take some break off the events last year because of what happened. A couple of these events came by but this one's really on a different scale.

Baggage counter. It's a part of the event where I think everything started. I don't know but somehow, it became evident that I still really have a grudge on that very tiny area.Though I already had Kuhn, together with these 3 other girls, manage it but still, the feeling really do lingers.

I asked Rye to be a part of the event again. But I'm not yet sure if this one's a good idea. This time really is not anymore the same with how we get to enjoy the event. There's this awkwardness between him and the rest of the people who knew. And this really hurts me thinking that I was somehow responsible of putting him into that spot.

From time to time, we get to have some short and casual talk but there isn't a perfect time for me to be able to express what I really wanted to say. For starters, of course apologizing comes in first. As what I've said, I'm partially responsible of what happened in terms of the bond that we still have together with the rest of the group. I always remember him being part of the kulitan moments of the event. But the one who is with us right now is more like the aloof type.

You could say that I'm really bothered and worried at the same time but isn't it normal to feel this way after being able to see each other for the longest time? Though I really don't have the slightest idea if he still cares to talk about everything that happened.

Then I've read our last serious talk on Facebook and damn how I acted that time. Though I really can't blame myself to act that way because of the situation that I've been through. But if I was on his place, I'd somehow understand why he'll be like this now.

And there's this girl who keeps reminding me of the other person who's involved in this too complicated story. I'm kind of being resistant to be approaching or being close to her even though I know that I will be comfortable talking to her. But this same thing actually happened before, I gave in and even thought that she can be my friend, but in the end, I never thought that she'll be the reason my friendship with Rye would almost be severed. And wanna know the truth? It's the second time that this same situation happened. A girl being the reason of having my friendship being almost over.

But one thing's still at the back on my mind, "Maybe they really never ended and just had it feel like everything's done."

So aside from that, part of my previous post is about my part-time job that I'm supposed to do 4 hours each day. This week's not really that generous of giving me some spare time. I got these 4-days event with Ozine and doing the job is really getting hard knowing that I still need to do my full-time job. Because of that, I am now facing 10 more hours deficit on the minimum hours that I need to complete until.. today, since it's already Sunday. This one here is also giving me emotional stress which I hope I can still handle. I'm afraid that the project might be pulled out from me and I'm going to be back from looking for a new one again.

Too Many Thank You

2013-04-10T01:14:00.002+08:00

There are just a lot of things to thank of lately. I just can't even start to count!

But what's made me so happy is the opportunity that I got to work at home even for a part time job and on a flexible schedule! 4-5 hours a day whenever I'm free as long as I complete the 30 hours minimum per week! This was something that I was hoping to get when I was on my bum years like 2 years ago. But now that it came in, am I not going to grab that? It's going to be a great chance for me to receive real income and I have already started working on an assignment since Sunday. Though I actually do have a professional job but living for the day is different from actually earning.

What just happened made me go back to my goals on what to achieve. To discipline myself even more for me to be able to do things smoothly. I won't be letting go of this chance and that's what I'm gonna work on really hard.

Though since I have a full-time day-shift job, plus the 4-5 hours which I can render after work, this would mean less time for social life. I even wasn't able to go with them to watch the Naruto Shippuuden on Megamall yesterday. I hope they understand my sudden "absence" but I just need to endure this for a couple of weeks more, until I get to earn enough to buy myself a laptop which I just can bring anywhere together with the part-time job that I have now.

So there goes one of my short-term goal! ^^

New .Info Domain I Got From Kettobase

2013-04-03T22:39:00.001+08:00

My blogger/friend Rozeh held a domain giveaway for her 4th blog anniversary and I was so lucky to be her secondary winner to receive a free 1 year .info domain! Now thinking of what I will do about the new domain. I've been already maintaining a personal blog.. maybe I'll try running a niche site for a change. Hmm. o.Oa And of course, please do visit her sites at Kettobase and Technowish -- Thanks again Rozeh!

Online Hotel Supplies and Equipments

2013-04-02T22:52:00.002+08:00

A friend asked me if I know any stores which caters Hotel Supply Online. Since this one's a bit new to me, I tried to look for some over the internet and found PeachSuite Hotel Supply. They are offering a wide array of selections from hotel, resort and restaurant supplies and equipment and are providing free shipping for items purchased amounting to over $500. This amount isn't really bad when we are talking about products from the top selling brands like All-Clad, Anchor, OXO, Riegel, Chicago Cutlery, Arcoroc, Swiffer and Sunbeam.

Toby is actually looking for a nearby Atlanta Hotel Supply as he is in need for some Hotel Bar Supplies to complete his very cozy bar. I already relayed to him about this site from PeachSuite and I was really glad that he liked it. He knew that the products being offered there are of high quality and add to that the value of money to be spent for these items are still considered to be very generous!

We tried to get in touch with them through their PeachSuite Facebook page and PeachSuite Twitter account and it was nice to know that these people are very accommodating. We learned that they are now offering clearance sales which are really of great deals and they even told us that if we're looking for a specific item which is not yet on their racks, they can surely look it up and get it for us!

With this, I hope that Toby could get everything that he needs to set up his bar.

Redefinition

2013-03-18T04:26:00.001+08:00

For the nth time I was thinking of getting a new blog again. A new personal blog actually. Then I thought of maybe just changing my blog address or maybe checking back all my previous post and remove everything not so personal. Then maybe I'll just let it be.

But the main focus of this post right now isn't really about my blog but a redefinition of what I stand in regard to showing someone you like them, may it be tru courting or tru whatever is up on your sleeves.

If you're a follower of this blog, you'd probably already know that I'm not really into courting the person that I like. As long as we both have this mutual feelings for each other, then it's settled. But if it's only a one-sided thing then forget about it. That's actually one of the few things I learned in the past. But recently, because of some certain someone who keeps making me feel special or maybe I'm just assuming it but comparing it to how I was treated before maybe I can just really say that. Hanging out and giving company is one thing I could do for someone. But giving back that romantic feeling is really out of my capacity when all I could feel is plain friendship.

#Capricorn hate when people bring up mistakes you made a long time ago

It's starting to irritate me whenever somebody's making a move on me which makes me remember how stupid I was before for this certain someone whom I almost reserved myself for years. Now that the situation's changed, I am now realizing how pathetic and blinded I have become because of a feeling that I thought was just fine to have even if it's just me.

The truth is, I'm not really that hard to please. I don't need you spending a lot for me only to show me what you feel. What you're doing isn't really helping because the more often you do it, the more confidence is being lost from me. You can call it insecurity and that is why I already told you that I still have personal issues that I need to fix. I've met a lot of people already and yes, people do have different ways of showing their affection. But not all of that works, maybe a few will but you really have to work a long way to get me.

And the idea of already being "us" even if there's nothing yet?! That's just so me way back! And I'm telling you, in the long run, you'll only hurt yourself in the process. Asking me before-hand like 2-3 days ahead of time if I've got plans is really one of my pet peeves. It always feels like you're pulling me out of the circle. I've got friends that I want to be with and I would not rather say this but, here you are acting as if you don't want to see them but in fact it's you who doesn't want me to spend time with them so that I can spend the time with you. Doesn't that sound just too selfish?

And because of that, I came up with something as a redefinition of courting if ever I get to a kind of situation like that again. For all we know, there's no bad person when it comes to courting somebody. Why would you show your flaws if your goal is to make someone fall for you, right? But that isn't the case for me. Show me the real you because believe it or not, I can easily accept people's flaws than hiding it to me and making me discover them by myself. So if you're still to court me, just stop with the kind of idea that you have and continue to become a friend of mine while treating me like how you treat your friends. If you really feel that you like me, then let's talk about that. Besides, my heart can do the talking as well. Save those special treatments when we became us, those kinds of treatments are best to be given to those who really deserves it.

Can Manage Somehow

2013-02-25T15:42:00.002+08:00

Monday off and I'm alone at home. The housemates are all out of town and I'm left with our pets. I didn't even get to spend my weekend habit. Just stayed home though I'm planning to go to Healthway to have my eyes checked. I don't know if it's just irritated or summer sickness has already taken a step ahead and gave me these sore eyes. I hope not. *fingers cross*

So the other week i got to spend my whole week at home after being diagnosed of having an acute tonsillopharyngitis. In short, tonsillitis. My doctor told me to have a 5-7 days rest for me to be able to get better. I was hesitant at first because of all the work which were needed to be done but I end up following what the doctor said. So I only stayed at home at bed. Because of that 1 whole week that happened, 2 good things occurred. 1 is i did got better and 2 is that I lost like 8lbs! LOL

Then last week I got back to work with all those tasks welcoming me. I even got hundreds of email on just a span of 1 week. And of course, my adjustment period hasn't settled in yet. I'm still on the transition process of becoming a manager from being just an average team leader.

It's tough and I'm hoping that somehow I could manage to put myself into a degree that I can be proud to call myself as a true manager. There's still a lot to learn and I'm even starting to read some managerial books just to cover some things up which aren't being taught at work.

Bits of Me

2013-01-30T23:53:00.002+08:00

I don't know if I'm in a hurry but I really need to go to bed soon, waking up by 5am is really my biggest challenge right now! XD New working schedule came in and it's an hour early than what we have before. Now we're on a 7AM-4PM shift. LOL

I'll just be posting some bits of random thoughts that I'm having these days. I can't get to blog them separately so I'll be posting them here in a very random manner.

---

I don't want to be monitored like every minute (I know this one's exag! XD) or every hour. It's not that I'm in a relationship right now but I just can't stand some texts that I'm receiving over the past days that's like checking on me if I already ate, or if I'm at the office, or anything close to that. What's worse is that when I didn't reply, the sender will think that I'm mad. Like come on, that is so not enough to make me mad. It's just that after being single for almost 5 years now, I'm not used to anything like that anymore. Once in a while is fine. I mean, of course you'll know when I'm at the office. I'm on a day shift so everybody would know that already. And of course I'm eating my meals though sometimes not on the proper time of eating. And for those in between, I tend to send some GMs from time to time, so basically you'll get to know what's going on with me.

But since Friday I started to stop sending those GMs again. Maybe I'll send 1 before I go to sleep.

I don't know, maybe I'm not really into courtships of that kind. For me, if you like me and I like you then be it. But if it isn't mutual, I hope you'll get to know that I'm never going to be into you.

---

I'll never make myself look pathetic and stupid ever again. Because of that situation above, I realized how pathetic I am to be the one making all those moves to someone who I know is not really into me. Everything that I've done in the past, I'm seeing it all again through this certain person. It's like I was given a chance to be on the other person's shoes and be the one being pursued. Of course I feel bad about it, for myself and for this person right now but I just wish that we can just go back to those times when there's no romantic attachment involved.

---

Just survived a lay-off at work and now I'm going to start working under a new Manager. And add to that, I've became a part of the Management team which is making me feel kind of uneasy. Maybe I'm still on the adjustment stage where I need to learn more about how to handle a team and to address several concerns more professionally. It's more like a culture shock for me because my position before even as a Team Leader didn't really required me to act like I'm the boss. In our team, we're like a bunch of friends playing but the difference is, were at an office working. Now that I've reached this point, the word professionalism is now really hitting me hard. It's now different in a lot of ways. But still I see it as an opportunity for me to grow and that's still a good thing for me!

Tied Up

2013-01-22T00:19:00.001+08:00

Spent my off on our usual weekend hang-out place and I even extended til today. We usually go home sunday night and spend our mondays on our own but it just happened that this monday was our friend's birthday and I just can't really leave knowing the fact that he might use it against me because it's just recently that I learned about the FarmVille thingy that he always mentions which means planting of hate and drama for other people. LOL

Anyways, I'm back on a spot where someone's been eyeing on me thinking to make a move on me. If it wasn't that complicated it might have been kind of easy but being with the same group is really against my romantic beliefs.

It isn't really a big deal for me if someone will try to court me or something but you shouldn't be with the same circle as I am. It'll just get difficult when time comes that we need to end it. Sorry about seeing it to end even before it gets started but this is something that was been buried deeply in my heart.

And the huge concern here is that I still can't see myself with somebody else. I've been single for, I think, 4 years now and getting back into a relationship is not even on my mind right now. It's not that I'm not ready yet but I guess I've already decided that I want to live my life knowing that it is just me whom I need to worry about. It may pretty sound like I don't like any more responsibilities other than my family but it is more like the interest of being on that kind of situation had already faded away.
*Sent from my BlackBerry®

Bedtimes

2013-01-17T01:05:00.001+08:00

And then it's happening again. Is there anything wrong being with me in the same bed sleeping with my close friend?

I mean I kinda have some other few close friends but there's always this particular someone who makes it difficult for the both of us to share a single bed.

I remember back in college, I tend to go home at bud's house more often than on my room in my apartment. Then of course I've been invading his room back then. For the early part, we still somehow shared his bed on bedtimes but there came a time when he started sleeping on the couch on the living room and somethimes on their duyan at the terrace. His girlfriend even noticed that and told him to go back to his room and sleep there even if I'm there.

I don't want this to sound like there's this bromance thing is going on but c'mon, I just wanna know what's running on his mind on those times when he's just letting me sleep on his bed alone. Is he just making my sleep more comfortable?! It's not like I'm so malikot while sleeping? But this kind of thing didn't really became clear to me.

And now, I've becoming closer with this bunch of friends and of course, there happened to be someone, who like bud, started to let me stay on his bed alone while he's up there on the other room where our other friend is staying. I've even thrown some jokes on them about pushing him to go back to sleep with me on his bed again but for some unimaginable reason which I really can't understand, there is really no luck!

It isn't really a big deal but still you can't simply take it away from me and prevent me from thinking why. Well I could understand if he gets comfortable sleeping with them, even thinking that one of them is, well, just like me, and add to that the fact that they already had spent a lot of years together which I can't argue with knowing that I have only known him for only a few years now. But still..
*Sent from my BlackBerry®

Birthday Leave

2013-01-16T02:32:00.001+08:00

Went to office yesterday and took an off today. Thought of using my birthday leave but this day's isn't really mine. XD

I was only supposed to take a half day off but it ended up taking the whole day. My manager accepted it anyways and even told me to enjoy the day. ^o^

So after leaving work, I went straight to Megamall, dropped by at Globe but their system is down. To kill more of the time left, I just played Technicka 2 til my fingers hurt. Haha!

So how did this Birthday Leave happened? Remember Jay who, together with Minde, spent the whole day of my birthday with me last Sunday? It's his birthday today! And like what they did with me, Minde and me are now to spend this day of his birthday with him the whole day!

And one of the major event for today is Les Miserables' movie screening! And they are even planning on watching it twice!

So this day is still young and we're currently having a The World God Only Knows Season 2 marathon before hitting the sack!
*Sent from my BlackBerry®

Post-Birthday Review

2013-01-14T23:27:00.000+08:00

So I thought of posting this one up first before going to bed. It's almost 12 and I must really have to rush. LOL

I haven't got the chance to post something here yesterday. I was too busy and occupied of all the things that happened from the moment my day went on until it all ended. I was even out of the house the whole day and haven't got the chance to celebrate my birthday with my sister who cooked my favorite Tuna Spaghetti!

So our weekend stay-over did still happened after all and I welcomed my day with them: Jam, Shij, Minde, and Jay and Li who also went there after his shift. Usual things happened but it was my first time trying Jam's Canal Mix, I dunno but they call it that, an alcoholic mix made out of, well.. I think you'll never want to know but it tasted really good, better than the Hell Mix that we always have. And that's a different mix as well. LOL

We were all getting drunk until they all started watching Les Miserables, the 25th Anniversary where Lea played Fantine, mother of Cosette. Imagine getting drunk and being captivated with its glamour. They even got carried away by Eponine's performance. Well at first with Samantha Barks' portrayal of her, and by Lea's performance on the 10th Anniversary version of it. I haven't noticed that I already slept while they were still into it, maybe because I already seen both of it before. But what woke me up in the middle of that sleep was something I won't tell. But here's a clue though. Drama. *wink*

So that morning was spent watching an episode of Byakou-something. A Japanese series where on the first episode, this guy who is wearing a santa costume is on the street dying with a scissor stabbed on his belly with this girl whom he know sees him. She turns around and walked away. The episode lasted 1 hour and 33 mins which ended at around before 2 in the afternoon.

Since we haven't got any proper breakfast yet, aside of the donuts that Shij brought us, we decided to go to La Mien at Binondo for a hefty meal and for a long-life noodles for my birthday as well! After that, we went home to prepare again as we decided to hit Megamall for our favorite desert, Jipan's Chocolate Parfait!

Jam wasn't able to join us for Jipan though, (he actually got tied up to his bed after having that heavy meal. lol) but we were able to meet Mikagi there! But before heading straight to Jipan, we went on a detour to SM Cinema to buy tickets for the Life of Pi screening. So after enjoying our parfait, we went to that arcade center on the lower ground near the food court and killed some time while waiting for 10PM, the last full show schedule for the movie.

Watching the movie were just me, Minde, Jay and Li. The movie was great even if it's just a retelling of a story. But it was really more than that if you'll dive into what that movie really wanted to tell its viewers. I guess, that very moment that we decided to watch it was really a gift for me to realize how great it is to be alive. A lesson learned on the day of my birthday.

It ended just before midnight and that wrapped my day off. I wanted to thank Papsy Minde and Fafa Jay for sticking out with me the whole day. I will always be remembering this day with you two! Thanks!

__
So about the 365 Days Project, I wasn't been able to post one up! Boo me. I was supposed to squeeze in 1 last Sunday but that one up there were the only photos that I able to capture. LOL

Night Before My Day

2013-01-12T23:24:00.001+08:00

And here I am with them after all those rants that I posted last night. Somehow, they made it possible for us to meet. Lol So weekend stay-over is still a habit.

And of course I let them know of how bad I felt last night. Hehe!

Just waiting for the few minutes more before the clock hits 12 then it's a happy birthday to me! ^^
*Sent from my BlackBerry®

Pre-Birthday Syndrome

2013-01-12T00:37:00.001+08:00

I just learned that such a term existed. I was only supposed to search on Google if there are people like me who are getting emotional and all as their birthday comes near.. And this was the result that I got. PBS.

For an unkown reason, I got myself to stop sending GM's to my friends. We're not really texting like having a constant topic to talk about though. It's just me sending lots of random stuff to them which are more like the ignorable kind of texts.

It's not like I'm putting up a wall between me and them but I just don't know. Maybe it was just my way of knowing who will reach out and knock that wall down.. But putting myself on their place.. I might have done the same thing.

I know that this post isn't going anywhere and I'm starting to sound so pathetic but I think I just got bored all of a sudden. And that boredom made me realize that I was walking down that path alone again.

Or maybe I got tired of sending GM's thinking that, "yeah, they might have read it. or more like they've just ignored it so I'm not going to expect any replies."

Then I sent 1 again this evening. Just my way to reconnect and know if we will be having our weekend stay-over. But true to what I expected, no texts went in. It was actually my plan to welcome my day with them if only that stay-over could push through.

So since that's the case.. That plan was already been thrown out and now I'm thinking of spending it alone on Sunday. Or maybe not. Or maybe yes. It's more like a come what may kind of situation really.

I don't have anything against anyone because I know that this is just a part of me who's always been sensitive every time my birthday is coming near. After a couple of days I'm sure I'll be coming back to my old self so don't worry that much. :)
Sent from my BlackBerry®

Bedtime Posting

2013-01-11T01:11:00.001+08:00

In two days, it's gonna be my day! But I haven't planned anything yet. I don't even have any idea if we'll be having our weekend stay-over like we always do. Maybe because I became silent on the GM world that's why they are not even texting about anything for this coming weekend. Or is it still too early for that? But it's already Friday, right?

Anyways, this post doesn't have any attached photo with it. Still can't figure out how to make attached photos from my phone be centered on this very post and become a thumbnail photo on this blog's homepage. And plus the fact that blogger's kinda effed up... So be filled with words for now.

And yeah by the way, I learned that some people just started their own 365 Project. I might try to do it as well tru my phone. Let's see if I can post my Day 1 on Sunday! ^o^
Sent from my BlackBerry®

Dynamic Mess

2013-01-08T01:10:00.001+08:00

And so I tried to change my default dynamic view here on Blogger to Sidebar. It went through but of course I need to customize it again to make the background and the fonts come back. But unaware as I am, Blogger Designer Template was messed up since September last year and up until now, this problem is not yet being solved.

Customizing the Dynamic View of my blog is not really working at all. So here it is now, back to it's plain black and white combo.

The idea of changing the default style was because of the post that I am sending using my phone. Images are being attached as a file and it is not showing up as an image thumbnail in my homepage. And add to that, the image inside the post isn't even centered. And I got really agitated on fixing this issue and this is what happened. LOL

So there you have it. Posting this before going to bed. I'll try not to be a bit of a maarte next time on posting something up. Hehe!

One Good News!

2012-10-10T00:39:00.002+08:00

And then suddenly I got an instant urge to post something up! I really wanted to share this very amazing thing that happened to me just recently so here it is. ^^

I just got 1-Up'ed at work! Technically speaking, it can be called a promotion, but it isn't really the case for now. No adjustment yet and I'm not yet sure if I still have to undergo the 90 days probationary period. But still, I'm now the team lead of the very first team that I've become a part of when I first entered this company!

It was just last week when finally it was announced that I will be taking over it since my former TL is now going to be handling a category team as the newest Category Manager. And thinking that I haven't even completed my 6 months probationary period (Ending by October 20) as a new employee, well.. as a returnee actually, still I was the one chosen to lead the team. One of the newly hired even asked me if how does it feel like to be promoted, even asking me if I was happy about it. Of course I'm happy about it! And I can even picture how my former colleagues will be happy about it as well!

But a promotion this may be, the work load will also add up. I am now extending from 8 to 12 hours stay at our office just making sure that I somehow covered almost everything for a day's work! I don't know if its healthy this way but knowing that I don't have anything to do at home, staying late like up to 9pm is just fine. But of course, if there are like meet-up with friends, I'll surely be out of the office as early as 6pm! (Regular out is 5PM! XD)

But what happened before I got this is promotion is kind of a sad story. To cut it short, let's just say that, there are people who are likely to become successful in his career than on his love life or vice versa. Now knowing that I succeeded on becoming the team's lead, you might now somehow got a grasp of the other half of the story.

Can you even imagine that the night before I received this good news, I was like talking to this person doing this "breaking up slash letting go" kind of thing? So in one way or another, I think I'm still lucky even after what happened. Aside from being lonely, I was given a reason to become more happy.

Sword Art Online + Updates

2012-09-22T00:47:00.000+08:00

Look who's back! I know that it's been the longest time since I came here and post something up. 6 months huh? LOL! So what happened? To cut the long story short, I got a job back at my previous company, US Autoparts last April and I'm turning 6 months next month! I also got myself busy rushing a bunch of stuff from Ozine's magazines -- Otakuzine Anime Magazine, Otaku Vault, Anime Asia and Anime Recommendations. And all that happened in between will just be covered on my next post. I am now really trying to get my blogging skills back on track even on a tight schedule. But of course, if you're a friend of mine on Facbook, I'm sure that you were always getting high dosage of updates from me there! And sorry for the floods of "minor" spoilers of the anime that I really follow. XD

The truth is, I went back here to share what I started doing. Reading a light novel of Sword Art Online. A lot of my friends already know this, that I am not really into reading manga. For me, it's better to just wait for the anime to come out and watch it move than reading still images, right? But how did I began reading a light novel which doesn't even have an image (well actually there are some) and are a sea of texts?! I really don't know myself. All I know is that Sword Art Online gives a really different vibe which really makes you want for more. And now, I'm gonna share it with all of you here! Which I hope is just fine... Both where you can download a good quality LQ episodes of it and the light novels per volume as well.

Anime Synopsis:

In the near future, a Virtual Reality Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game (VRMMORPG) called Sword Art Online has been released where players control their avatars with their bodies using a piece of technology called Nerve Gear. One day, players discover they cannot log out, as the game creator is holding them captive unless they reach the 100th floor of the game's tower and defeat the final boss. However, if they die in the game, they die in real life. Their struggle for survival starts now...

Download Sword Art Online Episodes:

Sword Art Online episode 1
Sword Art Online episode 2
Sword Art Online episode 3
Sword Art Online episode 4
Sword Art Online episode 5
Sword Art Online episode 6
Sword Art Online episode 7
Sword Art Online episode 8
Sword Art Online episode 9
Sword Art Online episode 10
Sword Art Online episode 11

List will be updated once new episode comes out.

Story Synopsis:

Escape was impossible until it was cleared; a game over would mean an actual "death"―.

Without knowing the "truth" of the mysterious next generation MMO, 'Sword Art Online(SAO)', approximately ten thousand users logged in together, opening the curtains to this cruel death battle.
Participating alone in SAO, protagonist Kirito had promptly accepted the "truth" of this MMO.

And in the game world, a gigantic floating castle named 'Aincrad', he distinguished himself as a solo player.

Aiming to clear the game by reaching the highest floor, Kirito riskily continued alone.

Because of a pushy invitation from a female warrior and rapier expert, Asuna, he teamed up with her.

That encounter brought about an opportunity to call out to the fated Kirito―.

Download Sword Art Online Light Novel:

Sword Art Online Volume 1
Sword Art Online Volume 2
Sword Art Online Volume 3
Sword Art Online Volume 4
Sword Art Online Volume 5
Sword Art Online Volume 6
Sword Art Online Volume 7
Sword Art Online Volume 8
Sword Art Online Volume 9

List will be updated once new volume comes out.

Missed 11

2012-03-17T05:08:00.001+08:00

14th of March when I realized that I missed the 11th of the month trend where I was supposed to blog something. This really made me realize that I am becoming less of a blogger and more of a Facebook user and anime lover. If you haven't noticed yet, my timeline really is filled with screencaps of all the shows that I am watching this season. It isn't really just filled with it but I think my entire posts for this month has always been about what I've been watching. I don't know if it's a good thing but that's practically what I am doing for this past month.

Well there's been a couple of other good things that happened as well. My younger brother came to visit us here when they are on their way to compete for a national level press conference. Then a couple of weeks later, it was my mom's turn to visit since they were to celebrate their high school reunion somewhere in QC. I also got a chance to have a weekend getaway with some of my Ozine friends at Batangas and Tagaytay.

More of some good news also came in when a friend ask me about me wanting to go work with her at their company. Well, actually there are two of them whom I am waiting for the job to be available. If there's really one thing about me which I can say I'm good at, well I guess that would be me waiting. I think you all know how long I have been waiting for everything to be on track. I just need to believe that everything's worth the wait and that thing, when it finally comes, I can really say that it is really for me. But my mom and sister's been really pushing me to go find some work already telling me that this isn't the right time for me to be picky. Well I guess they're right, but pushing me like this is like telling me to marry someone I really don't love. I mean, I'm the one who's going to work on that certain job so at least let me choose which one I like so that I can stay with it for the longest time.

But the problem is, I really don't know now what I really want. Right now, I'm fine with just going with the flow. About that friend who asked me? I already gave my "Yes" to one of them and I'm just waiting for the job posting to be open, then I will be on my way to applying and be part of their team. It isn't really what I wanted but that's the most convenient choice for me. Schedule and work load-wise, it's just perfect.

This is kinda disappointing, I know. And this has always been the reason why I refrained from writing here. I just don't want this to be a place where my gloomy thoughts are being stored. Plus the fact that every post I make can also affect the one reading them.

Anyways, going back to those good news, my mom received one too. She was invited by one of her high school friends to work abroad in Jeddah. She's I think 58 at the moment and she's still eager to work. Well, 58 might already be near retirement but I can't really blame her because it is actually one of the things that my mom is good at, working abroad. If she has to choose between working here or abroad, she'll definitely choose to work abroad. She's really looking forward to this knowing that her Visa is already on its way. It really is a good news if you'll look it up that way but that also means that one of us has to go and be separated with us again. But still I would like to see this as a good thing for all of us to grow and show ourselves that there are still things that we can do by ourselves. I know my mom had been staying at home for the longest time already and I know how hard it is for her to be on that situation knowing that we really don't have a father that can support us all the way. Now that there is something that she can do to help our family, I'm totally sure that she'll really grab this opportunity. I believe that she can still do it. 58 is just a number and my mom really is still strong for her age.

This might really look like I'm a bit harsh for a son to still be encouraging my mom to work. Maybe I am also at fault for not knowing what I wanted to do in my life that she decided to take some action and do the things that I am supposed to be the one doing it.

For the 2 years that I became idle, I became contented for having what is there. I never asked for more and I never really wished for anything more. I became so dependent to my sister that going back to becoming the independent one didn't even crossed my mind. Being contented with the basic needs really is a good thing for me but I really hate the kind of life that I am living now.

But right now, I've been really wanting for that job posting to go online so that I can get back to work and start a new life. I may look like this but my desire to go back to work is so burning that all that I am thinking right now is that working is the only way for me to enjoy life once again. Waiting and being contented might really be the best training for me to know what I must do whenever I get the chance to go back to work. Realizing this, maybe I was just faking it. Telling myself that I don't know what to do with my life anymore. But the truth is that I am just scared to face my fear that if I'm going back to work it's just going to be working for them and not for myself again.

My younger brother still has a year before he can finally graduate. And another year for review for the CPA Exam. But this time around, if ever mom really accepts the job and I get to start working back, there will be three of us, together with my younger sister, who will be supporting him financially and that would not really seem heavy on my part anymore. Somehow, this can really mean that I can finally start working for myself.

Deep inside, there really are a lot of things that I wanna do. A lot of simple things like shopping, eating, movies and travelling. This might look like some child stuff if you're going to compare it with others but I can already be happy just by doing that. But that still doesn't solve my problem of what I really want to do in the long run. So I guess for my part, I'll just have to do my best in everything I will do and hope that someday I can receive my calling. :)

Heart At 11

2012-02-11T02:40:00.000+08:00

I just want to say how lucky I am to have met my blogmates through my eight year old blog. Though some are no longer active in blogging, I still thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing things that somehow helped mold myself into a better individual. I even found the love of my life because of one. ♥ ;)

-Hiyono

That's a status update for me and for the rest of Hiyono's blogging friends out there! Haha! Maybe I'll just leave a comment there after putting this up so that she'll know that I have returned from a month-long slumber once again! And yes, it has been another month. I even got myself amazed on how my previous posts end up being written on the same day of each month! One for December 11, another one also came up on last month's 11th day, and today which is actually the 11th of February! So, can this now be called a monthly update? LOL!

So true. Hiyono's been here blogging for the longest time that I can't even remember how we met online! XD She's been one of my long-time blogger friends whom I haven't really met personally yet. And now that I think of it, I haven't really met any of them in person even though we already knew each other for the longest time now! Haha! But even if that's the case, they have truly stayed friends with me and the rest of the people that we know. And for that, I thank all of you to at least remember me as one of those who crossed to visit your blogs. ^^

Alright! The picture above might be a bit too bold for some but I know Xian would love this and would think that this is just "normal". Haha! Let's just say that this is my Hearts Day Photo for the coming February 14. Wohohoho! February has always been a Single Awareness Month not only for me but for almost everyone that I know! What more when Tuesday comes! Single Awareness Day for the fourth time! Hahaha!

S.A.D No valentine for me And Imma be alright if you could only see That today's just a day and if it's meant to be There's always next year, just wait and see

Anyways, being single hasn't really become a problem for me. And it will never be. LOL! Maybe I just got used to it? Or maybe I'm still waiting for that certain someone to finally arrive. Haha! What's important for now is that I'm happy of what I am doing and of what I am learning about what I really want to do. ^^

So coming this Monday, I will be having another interview with Emerson at Boni. They have originally offered me the Business Data Specialist position which is now put to hold. I don't know why but the good thing is that they still have an opening for the Marketing Analyst position. Well they said that it is actually an entry level position but what amazed me is that they can offer me a package which will be over my expected salary. If ever I get in, this will really be the coolest thing ever! LOL! But when I asked about the location of their office, I learned that it is only a floor above or below my previous job. Weird! So again, if ever I get the job, I will be seeing some familiar faces as well. Not that it matters but if I'll be getting the night shift, (9PM-6AM) I'll be only able to see a few. But when it happens that I'll be put in the mid-shift, (2PM-11PM) I'll never know what's going to happen next.

End Of Holidays, Hello 13!

2012-01-11T05:38:00.003+08:00

A lot of things happened and I really got myself so busy. Or maybe "busy" is not the right word so I guess I just had this holiday feeling where what you only want to do is to enjoy. So I guess that can explain why I wasn't been able to come back here for... *looks on my previous post's date then at the current date* a month! Wow, I really didn't noticed that I was actually away for a month already. LOL!

Then let me now start telling you what actually happened. The second week of December brought me in a really tight spot. That time I was rushing my part of the articles to be finished so that I can relax and enjoy the following week which is the Christmas week. But then, I was able to send my articles on the 20th instead.

Here comes Christmas. I was able to spend that day with the rest of our housemates and with my brother as well who traveled from Bicol to visit us here. Too bad though because my sister had to go to work which made her miss the occasion. But she was able to catch up with us for they were allowed to leave early. She arrived at around 3AM, and the party continued.

Ozine Fest Anime Figure Special was held on SM Megamall last December 28-29. My brother was able to attend on its first day but he had to leave the next day to spend the New Year with our mom at Bicol. The event was a blast maybe because we had Alodia as our special guest on our first day. There was like 5000 attendees all in all for those 2 whole days. I should know because I was there at the Ticket Booth in those 2 days. LOL!

And then, here comes New Year. Two of our housemates left for Bicol, the other two planned to spend the New Year in Eastwood, which they always do, while my sister did had a schedule for work on that New Year's eve. So I was supposed to be left at home alone but good thing, DJ asked me the night before that about where I will be spending it. Learning about the situation, he invited me over and then I decided to spend the New Year again with my Ozine Family. It was actually my third time celebrating the New Year with them! XD

Then hello 2012. This time, I am so prepared to go back to work. I am just waiting for an interview from a company in Makati and I just hope I could get in. And then while waiting, we are now also preparing for a new anime event coming on the 21st and 22nd. Anime fans are even saying that this is going to be the best year-opener for them! If you have some spare time on that weekend, come and visit us there!

And this is now the part where I am going to explain why "Hello 13" has become a part of today's post title. 2 days from now it'll gonna be the 13th which is actually a Friday the 13th and that is actually my birthday. LOL! I didn't even remembered it at first and I am not even planning on how I am going to spend that day. I'm just feeling a bit scared that I am turning a year older again and that I have to start my life all over again. Well as for the birthday wish, maybe I'll just hope that I can do things right from then on.

So that's it for now, I'll be posting one again very soon!

Untold Stories #2

2011-12-11T01:47:00.001+08:00

This entry happened to be posted so early. I'm supposed to be posting something different from this Untold Stories segment since I just previously posted a very serious one but then I guess it can't be helped now that I'm in the mood of revealing another one right now. So let me just first say this:

If only I could ease the pain. But then I said to myself, it is your battle and the only thing left for me to do is to believe that you can somehow get out of it alive and ready to face life again.

I am actually ready to click the Post button on Facebook when my browser stopped responding. So I thought, it could be more better if I'll just turn it into a blog post and here I am now. The truth is, someone very dear to me is on a process of moving on from a failed relationship. I really don't want to be so blunt about that fact since he's still healing but if ever you come across this post, I just thought that this is actually the best way to describe it. Most of us would already gone through that same path anyways, so maybe somehow you guys can understand that. I know the feeling, the pain that one must go through which makes me hate it everytime I learn that one of my friends has to experience the same thing. If only I could take away the pain, but I guess it's a part of growing up and one has to face it one way or the other.

So what in it for me? How will this post be one of my Untold Stories? In my recent job interviews, of course they will gonna ask me why I left my previous job. My answer has always been the same to all of them. I left because of having a failed relationship with someone who is actually my co-worker. I remember having this conversation with Xian about how am I going to reason with them about this, thinking that any reason would suffice but I think it would be better if I could be honest about it. I believe that to have a successful life, you need to maintain a balanced personal life as well. How can you expect yourself to live an extravagant life if you suffer from physical, mental and emotional stress. You may be the best on what you do now but will it really give you happiness if you're not even taking care of yourself? Even those people who interviewed me felt bad about me leaving my previous company because they were looking at the pay that I was already receiving back then. They all have the same reactions, telling me that I already reached P21,750 and leaving that amount might have really been hard for me. Honestly? I started to worry about myself more than thinking about the salary that I am getting. Yes, that person and I somehow settled things between us already but how would you expect me to deal with it later on? I don't know how some people do it but I can't really stay in a place seeing the person that I loved before being with somebody else, someone who is more acceptable and more right. That's why I decided to leave.

Then after that, I became unemployed for almost 2 years. I got scared on going back to working in a place where I will be meeting new people again. Just the thought that I have to make new friends again makes me feel so afraid. I became scared of being rejected, of being left alone, of being just a nobody that no one even cares about. I got scared of the possibility of meeting people who might later on just leave me again in the end. Simply, this might be called a trauma because of what I've had to go through before.

I've made friends in my previous company. Real friends, close and well-bonded friends. Until one day, everything started to fall apart because of a small misunderstanding. That time, I was still on the process of moving on from a lost love but because of me acting so pathetic and stupid about it, maybe because I really don't have the slightest idea on how I am supposed to deal with it and since my mind is still so filled with confusion, guilt and anger, the break-up extends its way to my friends. It was a phase in my life that I need to move on from my relationships, both in love and friends. Friends, at some point, also do get tired. I was really so hard to handle, too hard to understand and too hard to cope up with back then which made them so fed up of me and left. I've been in the same situation before but for it to happen again, it's just too much for me. For months, I learned to live life alone again until I finally gave up, telling myself that It's time for me to meet new friends and move on. I met wonderful people in our office. Thanks to them because somehow, the last months of my stay there became easy to deal with. I started to cheer up and to open up once again. But this certain day came in where it made me meet the other people. We talked about what happened in the past and thought that maybe we could still work things out. What happened that day was like a reconciliation. Admitting each other's faults and forgiving. I was happy that it happened but I already accepted that it can never bring things back as to how it was before. Well, at least I already got them back.

Months ago, we had this farewell party for the person who molded me to become the best employee that I can be on my previous job, the one I call 'nay, and one of the real friends that I have. At some point, the conversation went to asking me if it would still be possible for me and for that someone to become friends again despite of what happened between us. It was actually a tough one because I really don't know what to say. In my mind, I keep saying no because I already accepted that there's no way that we will become good friends again. After experiencing that certain event before, one night, out of the blue, I thought of coming over to that person's place thinking that I still have a friend left in that person. But it proved me wrong. Things can never get better between us anymore and it's best to just leave it like that. So on that farewell party, asking that for me made me think of a reason why I should still be friends with that person.

Anyways, I already tried remembering everything that happened before but I guess my mind had already dumped them away, reason for me to already say that I already moved on. Just to sum it up, it took me 3 years to move on from all that and those people who interviewed me are even happy telling me that at least now I'm healed up and already open to going back on looking for a job and be working.

And of course, after experiencing all that, I learned a lot. I told myself not to fall for someone who is in the same work that I'm in and not to live with the person under the same roof ever again because it will really be hard if I'm going to face the moving on part again. That relationships aren't really for life because it does end eventually. I also want to believe that the love shared is real but when it ended, you can't just really help but think if everything that happened was real. But in the end, what I believe most is that maybe, God is still busy writing the best love story for me and He is just making me experience the side-stories first. :)

@Hiyono. I guess there's no need for you to go back and check my archives about what actually happened before. I think everything's already here. LOL! But if you still want a more detailed and maybe feel the exact same feeling that I felt before, you are free to read back! :)

Untold Stories #1

2011-12-09T20:02:00.001+08:00

Update: I just want you to know that after giving it some time, I learned that I am only exerting a lot of unnecessary efforts on thinking about things that I am not supposed to be worrying about. So what you will read about the cold shoulders and stuff, that was only an presumption made by an presumptionisto. But don't worry, I can still let you read on.

Alright, I badly needed to put this into words. I don't really know if I am just over reacting or what I'm dealing right now is a couple of cold shoulders. I know, I shouldn't be dealing with this kind of things knowing that I am only here living inside this room for over a year now and the only people I always see are the ones I'm living with.

Maybe I'm just really being the assuming one thinking that there is really going on but I really can't help but think that it has something to do with me. Yes, I've been unemployed for like almost 2 years already and all I do is receive my sister's kindness for making me live through all these times -- The reason for me not looking for a job? Expect me to write about it soon. And because of me being unemployed, I wasn't been able to pay the rent for those couple of months when I got back here to live with my sister -- there's also a story behind this moving back in to this apartment, I guess I'll be blogging about it pretty soon too. And there goes my debt still unpaid for over a year but somehow my sister was able to save me from the following months by covering the rent for me. I know, I really have the best and the most generous sister one can ever have and I am gratefully thankful for that. But the fact that this debt still remains unpaid until now still makes me uncomfortable. Well this really is the major part but still there are these minor issues that really makes me feel paranoid about.

Let's start with the closed doors. Because of an incident which happened months ago where one was accused of having a very mischievous pair of hands, they started to make it a habit to always close the door. When that one person left, the habit continued which I really totally ignored since it really got nothing to do with me. Then new people came in and they just recently installed locks on their door as well. Can anyone tell me, is there something going on where I need to be alarmed and get a copy of the key to our room's door as well? I mean, I always leave my door open, it not like there's anybody else is going inside the house just for the heck of it but I really don't feel anyone will actually do it. When suddenly it occurred to me, the paranoid part of me started to think, are they, in any way, thinking that I am entering their rooms whenever they're away, at work or just plainly out of the house like what that certain person did before? I respect their privacy and that's one enough reason for me not to slip inside their rooms. What am I supposed to do there anyways? Or maybe, having their doors locked is just plainly their habit and there's nothing really for me to worry about.

Another thing, food and condiments. On this part, somehow I'm guilty. I just can't really stand seeing some leftovers be left in the table only to be thrown away later on or be spoiled. I mean, if they aren't going to eat it anymore, I better make use of it, eat it for it not to go to waste. Reading that again makes it sound weird and funny but yeah, that's true. They sometime leave these leftover ulam or even loaf of bread, I know that I am not supposed to touch these since they aren't mine but, *sigh*. Then the condiments like soy sauce, vinegar, fish sauce, oyster sauce, salt, pepper and even the ginisa mix and that other stuff. I do use them sometimes when we're out of those. I mean, normally it's allowed right? Because they can also always use ours when they ran out of stock of those as well. Some new condiments also came in since one of our housemates work in a food company and I though of trying it out. Of course I'm only using small amounts since I don't really use them before. And yes, sometimes, I use their condiments without asking them. But at some point I noticed that they were kind of eyeing these kinds of stuff and that's when I stopped my little cooking experiments. Well it's not like I stopped because I noticed that but I already stopped even before that because I'm not really getting how they were supposed to be used in cooking. Then lately, I think I just heard them talking about how a certain sauce in a bottle seemed to get being used for just looking at the amount left from it. I did saw that bottle of sauce inside the fridge but I didn't bother to check it out. I mean after all, will you still expect me to use anything which aren't ours? The next thing I know, the bottle's gone. Not in the fridge, not in the food cabinet, not anywhere. Well I guess, they already kept it inside their room. I just hate it when they might be thinking that it is me that's using it.

And here's something to top it off, Meralco bills. Since I'm always at home, of course I'll be using my PC a lot. Before it was just me but later on, when the new people came in, they also get to share the consumption for having a laptop. But still there's the fact that I'm always the one who is contributing the biggest usage when it comes to the bill. But of course whenever the end of the month comes in, it's divided among us. I know that my sister is only able to give four thousand pesos monthly for the both of us, an amount that I'm sure isn't enough but still I know that a debt is still a debt. So if ever the bills goes up, please be assured that our part will always be paid, if not enough, I know, I can and I will pay you, who knows, 2012 might just be our lucky year.

Then I also start having my own closed door habit. I do always leave my door half open but I just really can't help it. Sometimes, I'm thinking that whenever they see me in front of this PC, thought's like, 'PC nalang nang PC' or 'Umalis ako nasa harap ng PC, dumating ako nasa PC nanaman' are running through their minds. So I end up leaving my door closed or if not, I leave it a bit open. I'm not really sociable even here at home. I mean, how will I be able to since I've locked myself here for over a year so expect me to not be able to reach out most of the time. I just hope that they will not misinterpret me for not being able to face them that often because lately I've been shutting myself in whenever they're around. I just don't know how to face them anymore having all these assumptions in mind. I know that I should be talking with them about this but it isn't something that we always do. The last time we gathered to have a serious talk, someone was forced to leave the house. Maybe I'm just afraid or maybe I just need to believe that there isn't really something going on so I really don't need to worry about anything. I also wanted to think that this is just like a family issue where it's normal not to talk but I guess this kind of setup isn't really like that.

While writing this I'm actually listening to an album of DBSK just to keep my calm. I don't really want to hold grudges or anything like that. I've had enough of that feeling already -- I know you want to know about this version of story as well, so I'll update you about it as well -- and they aren't the kind of people who deserve to be treated with hate. I respect everyone here and I know that we do have some differences as well but one just have to learn to accept other people for being who they are, right? So just to make it clear, I don't have anything against them and I'm sorry if I am causing them some sorts in-house troubles.

*Scrolls up* Damn! This is what you get whenever I'm writing straight from the heart. A very long post! Haha! So just to loosen up the mood, The reason why I decided to play DBSK's album is because of what I was doing at around 2AM this early morning. I was like so kinikilig to those posted videos on Youtube about YunJae! LOL! I think I spent 2 hours just watching a lot of those kinds of videos. Haha! There were a compilation of photos made into a video and there also video clips of them which really makes people believe that Yunjae is real. Oops! Haha! There goes a link. LOL! I just really can't believe that people will really give in lots of effort only to produce something like this:

This isn't really the ones that I watched because this really went on up to 46 episodes I think? LOL! Pero kinilig talaga ako, amp. Hahaha!

Alright, I guess I really need to end this already. If ever I can get the right mood for posting the untold stories, you'll be able to read them here soon. I am really trying to put this all up here so that if ever the thought, 'Kamusta na kaya si Rashid?' crosses anyone's minds, they can always get an answer here. So as much as possible, I always want this to stay as personal as it can be. So let me now put this up as my Untold Stories #1. ^^