krissthesexyatheist

The Sun Also Rises...Up Yer Fuckin' Arse

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 22 Mar 2014 16:41:00 +0000

Papa is chillin' with a drink, a Thompson machine gun (probably 45ACP), on his boat with a huge fishing line in tow and a...and..a...little boy between his legs (?). Whatevah...I heart the sentence structure.

Thanks for all the messages-n-shit. I really appreciate it. (Say/read it like a Millennial..) Really...seriously...really...really... . I haven't been writing the blog because I've been writing the great Filipino/American novel. I don't wanna tax myself.

How come no one ever talks/writes about myyyyyyyy generation. The original losers...GENERATION X, bitches.

The main character is from the mostly forgotten, at least never mentioned, Generation X. Totally every single day in the media you hear about the Greatest Generation, the Baby Boomers and/or how Millennial's are living at home. What the frackin' fuck...Weeeeeeee originated that shit. Gen X were the original losers to live at home with their parents until their thirties.

Couple o' things in this photo 1) Hunter, if that is his real name, looks like he is a left eye dominant shooter and 2) long barrel guns are so 60's, 70's, 80's. I prefer a modern short barrel weapon with modern cartridges. Just sayin'.

Of course there will be guns, the super physical physicality of this hunky brown shell that my evolved human brain is encased in, destroying pseudoscience, promoting real science and skepticism, my lifelong experiment with drugs, Twitter and manscaping (just to name a few of the contents).

The thing I'm hung up on right now is...should I make it dark and desperate like the very good novel and movie...The Road, or...

...should I make it lighthearted and funny like Without Feathers.

So once again thanks for all the messages and the hearting-n-shit. There has been a lot going on and nothing at all. I've been getting better and worse at the same time; and that changes from day to day...but the main thing is 1) I'm still in the game and 2) I make up my own sentence structure.

Lates.

ps Does anyone know of a good literary agent (preferably an authentic New York Jewish one) that wants to take a chance on an unpublished writer that promises to be a hard drinking, hard drugging combination of Hemmingway-Fitzgeral-H.S. Thompson, complete with simple sentence structure but without all the sexism.

Lemmie know...

The News That Matters (To Me)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 25 Jul 2013 16:50:00 +0000

Obviously Penelope is intimidated by guys with sexy bodies like myself. I mean c'mon man.

Mmm, did anything happen since last time I shared here. Lemmie think. Oh I know. Congratulations are in order, kind gentle and very goodlooking readers. Y'all know that I want me some of that awesome baby action for myself (where are you, baby) and you know that I heart teh babies so much that I'am genuinely stoked when someone else has a baby. Buddies...congrats to Penelope Cruz and her doughy boyfriend and there awesome baby.

Leave some for daddy.

My baby would be Serious Baby (meme).

It was front page news in 1967, yes THAT 1967. Working on a tip the SFPD totally raided the house where the Grateful Dead, some of their ladies, managers and probably some hanger'ons live. Check out this awesome front page.

What was front page news in 67' IS also front page news, like, right now. Check it.

* Pot arrest.
* Is it the president that is fighting an unpopular war.
* Both houses are divided.
* A young girl is dead, diary instead of social media, but they are (practially) the same thing.
* "Rain aids forest fire (In October).
* There is debate on the safety of (I assume) the bay bridge and that controversial second deck.
* I assume it is a politician's aid that got arrested.
* Marines in a tuff battle somewhere.

Wha's the difference. Right. The epic manifesto that one of the managers wrote, after the police took their weed and hash, is soooo awesome. Worth a read.

What time is it. No, not Hammer time. It's Daniel time (thanks for including me, bro). For those keeping score...this is Episode 8.

-----#####------------------- * * * ------------------------------- ####-------**********-------------------#####--

You know what I'm going to say, right. "Are you two sisters."

I've been tripping on photography lately. Don't forget photo-graphy. The first series is of doppelganger peeps.

Is this, like, The Looper situation.

Here's mine. I was reading about Bit Coins and saw this picture of dude that sells them in the Bay Area. I dunno...perhaps my future self if anything (I have more hair than him, but he has Bit Coins and you can use Bit Coins to buy pharmaceutical quality drugs offa Silk Road. I'm drooling right now...and I have more hair).

The second one is of Steampunk inspired, recycled material, pirate type ships. Yes, I said Steam punk inspired, recycled material, pirate type ships.

That's all I'ze gots 2-day.

Droppin The Retard Bomb

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 22 Jul 2013 18:40:00 +0000

I propose ?G-Money and retarded rapper, J. Cole *discuss* this retard incident. I'll bet on the white dude with down syndrome.

Ah, moved into my new *office*, drinking (shitty) coffee (but still glad to even have the little coffee I do have), working on the great Filipino American novel that I'am so diligently working on...then mighty atheist blogging (1) and enjoying the morning breeze. Bad ass.

Here we go...

Don't forget Kriss' Golden Rule...never apologize for comedy (or whatever your art modality is). With that said, thank nonexistent Gawd I'm not a rapper. Rapper J. Cole dropped some retard bombs in one of his (so called) songs where he, ugh, I guess raps, he is an "artist" and his competitors are "autistic retards." Oh yes, he did. The bad ol' autistic is retarded and retarded is an insult bomb. And then...he apologized.

Oh oh, oh. I have a better idea. ?G-Money and I should team up. He can kick the shit outta everyone that says retard as an insult, you know like how jock dudes say "That's gay" as an insult to mean retard, and I can kick the shit outta sexist jock assholes that have the "inability" to get their own beers and make their own sandwiches.

He may not be good at sensitivity, but he is apparently good at apologizing (at least he has had practice). Recently he apologized to the family of Emit Till, yes THAT Emit Till, civil rights icon. Lil Wayne, Pepsi Co, Rick Ross and Reebok has all split ties with dude and can ya blame them (No). In one of his so called songs he raps about using drugs to bone down on women, ya know, while they are *asleep* (whata creep) and something else happened but I'm not going to reread the article (3).

I have adopted what I call the Don Rickles style of comedy. I insult everyone and anyone anytime in the hopes that acknowledging and facing "it", whatever "it" is, might bring the needed attention to an issue and maybe, just maybe, make people laugh. Dude claims to be pushing the envelope in his rapping and I'm all for pushing the envelope in whatever artistic endeavor one does. He says it's freedom of speech and I'm for all that. But the thing is is that there are many *envelopes* and not all are worthy of being "pushed." Besides that...Violence against women, esp. rape-y stuff...TOTALLY off limits (2).

Oh those kooky physicists have found another piece of the puzzle called the beginning of the universe.; ever hear of that. It makes me happy and sad at the same time, on one hand humans and the awesome evolved human brain are painstakingly trying to figure out the truthy-est universal truths, while on the other hand, with every problem solved that means there are two more gaps for believers to (incorrectly) slip Gawd into.

The United States military is like that dude that sleeps on your couch...once dude gets in, (months and months later) it's totally hard to get them out. Just look at S.E. Asia (which is where the next great war will be). Unc' Sammy is all up in Japan and the Philippines, other places and where ever they have been allowed to "consult" they have laid roots (read: fucked up local shit).

One countries protected coral reef (Philippines) is another countries parking lot for entire fuckin' battleships (U. S. of A.).

Australia may be figuring that out right now. American death from the sky, the Air Force, *accidently* dropped two freekin' bombs on the super protected site called...The Great Barrier Reef. Oops. They were doing joint military training exercises (US & The Happy Country) and wouldn't you know it the host country got fucked up. The bombs didn't explode tho, they just crashed into an environmentally protected, last remaining, best, eco sites in the world. If that was not bad enuff, now the US military wants to go retrieve their precious bombs. Recall it was the same US military that "parked" an entire battleship onto one of the Philippines awesome protected reefs and when they went to salvage it...they stayed for months and months (just like the houseguest that has stayed too long). Fuckity fuck fuck and g'day mates.

Kangaroo, it's Australian for big fuckin' pest rat thing in my yard.

Water...walk with me. Jesus Christ is not the only person with the ability to create the illusion of walking on water. This sexy artists photographed the beautiful Spanish peeps doing just so and without photoshop; and that in and of itself is miraculous. Awesome photos of the peeps chillin' on the surface of water, or not.

Are these farmers or killers. I'm scared and yet the photo itself is magnificent.

I could be wrong, but that other super awesome atheist blogger (who may or may not reside in the American South) has been itchin' to cover a topic that is gripping the nation. I think dude, or dude-es, is afraid of the backlash of the dogmatic, etched in stone philosophy of (sit down for this one)...The Left. It's one thing to be skeptical of what "the other side" has to say (as it should be), but it is equally important to turn the skeptical interrogation room lite on yo self. That being said, I'm not going to touch national topic that I don't even want to mention myself. But here is something similar, but not really.

Is is just me or should the (bad in taste) Travon Martin target silhouette, complete with Skittles and drinky drank, have the target in the place where he really got shot. Jus' sayin'

The rise of the religious left is teh good and teh badz. On one hand the religious left is our partner in secular society with the common opponent of the religious right (and all their foxhole buddies), on the other hand political correctness is not always correct and to Team Atheist-Skeptic-Secular the law of the land should triumph the law of a God that may or may not exist. There is speaking up for society and there is enabling.

It is not a surprise to me that the young-in ladies are rejecting the unfair body image of Barbie. The surprise is that it took so long. OK enuff of that...not me me me me me me...

It may not be my place to say, but fake unnatural women attract fake unnatural men. If that is what you want, then so be it. I think it's...retarded.

I'm all about equality so I propose an anatomically correct doll in myyyyy image. That way all 40-something men will have an impossible ideal (in me and my awesomeness) to live up to. This doll, err, action figure will have a karate grip, Bruce Lee physique, silky long hair and a string, that when you pull it, it says things like "If society treated women as equals, then (maybe) we would have world peace" and/or "the probability that a diest God exist is extremely low, much less a specific splinter cell American God" and/or "dude you fucked with me and I totally have a lot of patience, I totally let things go, but you have crossed the line and now I'm going to fuck you up, retard." I think it would sell.

Kinda like this but browner and with sliky waist length hair...and a better looking face.

"Woe is me, woe is me" I've run outta brain calories already and I have wayyyyyyy more to cover. Perhaps I'll do a two fer today (probably not, I never do). So I'll leave you with awesome.

If this is the video the government used to show little kids that doing drugs is a bad "no no", then no wonder parents and kids of the 70's do so much drugs, like, today. Really, after watching this 1971 National Institute of Mental Health short film on the dangers of drugs, I totally wanted to do some drugs (more so than the usual everyday wanted). Just watch it...and watch it high.

(1) For a writer of myyyyyyy caliber I have decided to add the themes of corporate America and politics to 1) an aging Gen X'er and all the what that goes with that, debunking a) American splinter cells of religion b) debunking the woo-y Eastern/New Age philosophies c) everything, like, the shittiness of war and what it does to individuals in The Sun Also Rises and d) the downfall on one individual that (i) has experienced a traumatic event (like in Love and Squalor) and (ii) is dealing with PTSD/depression/anxiety and all the shit that comes with that (ya know, like, the downfall and the anger and frustration an individual goes thru when dealing with PTSD/depression/anxiety and (there is always an and) and all the fools that I...err, that the character fucks up punches in the face with rock hard fists, knees and feet-not to mention the Chi Na/grappling skills).

The book started out simple, but why should I do simple. Obviously I do things the long and hard way. Awesome.

(2) Intent is key here. If you call someone a sandnigger to make a joke that brings attention the fact that we are all equal humans on this planet, that is totally different than calling someone a sandnigger because you hate them. If you make fun of those who (wrongly and hurtfully) make fun of people that may be different than you, then that is kosher-what ever kosher means. I just hear people say it all the time.

(3) No notes, no prepping, no outlines, no drafts...just pure unfiltered, most of the time, unedited totally from memory...Kriss. Don't forget...I'm the "I" in Kriss.

No Wonder...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 19 Jul 2013 19:56:00 +0000

If this was shown to kids in the early 70's to steer them away from drugs, then no wonder.... This is awesome. Thanks Slate.

Fifty Percent More Blog Post Friday

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 19 Jul 2013 17:21:00 +0000

It was this or turn her into a Mormon.

This is why The Onion is retiring...Satanists claim they've turned Wetsboro founder's dead mom gay. That's cool and all, but for me...I don't believe in Satan (or pure good and pure evil). Still, part of me hopes it's true.

The active ingredient in this one is...Freaky, with a capital "F". Nutshell, Justin" I thank God at the end of every show" Bieber gets a tattoo of his mom's eyes, then he proceeds to take two hotties, both not his g-friend, to his hotel room. There is so much Freek in this one I don't even know where to begin, so I won't (Oh wait, it was only one eye. That just makes it more freeky. Selena break up with him).

Oh buddies, you know I like this one...Don't forget Bill "Superfoot" Wallace. Yes, THAT Bill "Superfoot" Wallace. Willy debunks five common martial arts myths: death touch, magic, physics of good ol' hand to hand combat (or in my case my fuckin' knee, fist, claw hand to your dick and/or balls and/or eyes and/or joints). I totally wish it was longer and more in depth, but hey...hey. That said, I don't doubt that Will can execute the very little know martial arts move...The Death Foot. He was never one of my favorites growing up, but still...bad freekin' ass.

All hail the mighty and formidable...Kegasus.

Mmm ya know, a part of me wants to one day travel to Saudi, Emirates, S. E. Asia-n-such, but when dude gets put in prison for sharing a video he filmed of an aristocrat type going physical, outta your vehicles, road rage all up on a lowly immigrant type, that's bull of the shit. You know what else is bull of the shit, when you report that you have been raped, aaaannnnd, they put you in jail for unlicensed drinking (WTF).

Look man, rules are rules and, as a society, if we didn't follow the rules then the world would look like The Road Warrior. No wait, that is not the movie I wanted to reference, I mean The Road. There is a little bit of difference there. So no matter how pretty your face and how hot you are...no fins in the pool.

Florida kills mermaids s s sss...dream.

I know what all the bro-dudes are sayin right now, "I'd do a mermaid." My question to you geniuses is, "How."

Besides that, if you let the mermaids in then you have to let the centaurs in and who ever my beer drinking, half man half (I'm not sure what the other half is) bro brings.

I'm "Asian ashamed" at this meme photo because this dude, it looks to me, could possibly be Filipino. I can't help genetics, that's how I/we roll. Is it funny (?)...it's hella funny.

(This is yesterdays heartless lame half trying half not trying and half both trying and not trying attempt at a post.)

If you laugh at this, you are a mean bad person...

Apparently tard fighting is OK by the weirdest state in the nation, Florida, and even has the approval of the vice prez of The Special Olympics, a one Kristen Seckler. Garrett "?G-Money" Holeve and David Steffan will go toe to toe in an (amateur) MMA style event. Some people think this is an "Oh no...ohhhh fuckin' no," but I think this is what it's all about. Peeps in the Special Olympics whomp all over, err, non developmentally disabled (is that the correct terminology) losers (like horribly obese Boy Scouts).

Seriously, would you fuck with ?G-Money. Shit, his moniker can't be beat.

VP o' S.O. a one K. Seckler, "People with intellectual disabilities might read slower or learn slower than others, but they can run marathons, hold jobs, go to school, get married and have babies. One of the things we (Special Olympics) like to show is that there are no limits."

For a lazy jock, reluctant martial artist, lazy stoner Amerikan... this is truly inspiring.

Just because the article headline says this, that doesn't mean that is what "we" meant. Still, it is so pretty to think so. The falsely false-ness is that the Nu Pope, Pope Frank, will lop off some time in purgatory (if that is your destination) if you follow dude on Twitter. It's not true, but that is what (some) media wants you to believe. A hundred infinity billion years ago when I was a a very good and sincere practicing Catholic I really truly believed that I was destined to go to purgatory. I know, what a fucked up thing to instill in a kid. No wonder I'm always pissed.

I think it's totally funny that in one of the Most Interesting Man commercials it is implied that he solves which came first the chicken or the egg.

And (there is always an and)...you can follow me on Twitter @thesexyatheist. BTW does anyone know why I can't upload nu picks of my six pack and that is why I have the Twitter Egg and that is why I haven't been tweeting that much. Gotta represent, man.

Just because something is outta my range of knowledge doesn't mean I can't and won't comment on it. It just means that I shouldn't. When I was taking that biology class that I have mentioned a hundred infinity billion times I learned that the ocean needs iron to do photosynthesis-y stuff. Carbon dumper dude, err, dumped...

In other sorta related news...CIA funds climate control research. This is nothing new, the desire to control the weather that is. In the Beijing Olympics they tried to control the rain and in general, in dessert-y drought places they have tried to make it rain. It's failed before...but with the new technology and new understanding, it's interesting so let's wait and see wha' da haps'.

When I'm not working on the great Filipino American novel that I'am so diligently working on, and in my afternoon daydreams, I've been creating a new superhero with the personality of Grumps here, Wolverine-y strengths-n-stuff, my face and body and a cat in a 50% proportion and I will call this new superhero...Cat Man. And yes, Cat Man drinks and smokes and acts like a cat...a siamese cat.

I guess I'll chime in on The Cover (has it been called Cover Gate, yet). I think everyone on both sides is wrong and certainly not as awesome sexy, because it is a photograph and photography is art so one must approach the controversial Rolling Stone cover as art. Of course the overwhelming response is emotional (and I'm not sayin' that that is bad), but...just look man...To me dude looks like anyother dude his age and I think/feel that it is a statment of look, this average Joe Scruffy Modern Kid fell into this *honorable* terrorism shit, he looks like an average American kid, so this can happen to anybody...even your kid. That is what I get from it. Sorta reminds me of a young Bob Dylan, anyone else, no...OK then. Besides that art, many times, is supposed to get a response.

Mmm, is this the hippy collective conscious universal power connectivity thing that Carl Jung was talking about. Me, I like it when obviously black people stuffs is trending on Twitter. Little did I know it's called Black Twitter. It's totally funny. Par example, some of the tweets from the Jodie Arias movie fuckin' killed me (1). I also like Buzzfeed so when the three combined...fuck en aye man. Black Peeps Twitter Starter kit. Article about Buzzfeed on Slate. Article about Black Twitter and Buzzfeed suggestions. So far I like Brokey McPoverty (@brokeymcpoverty) the best.

I love Tard.

Usually I go to OC Weekly to see pictures of hot So Cal ladies raving it up, but this time I actually read (part of) an article. I totally believe in hide in plain site so I think this guy is a genius. Dude robbed a bank and to get away he had to catch the bus, but before that he had to wait for the buss. It's one of those things that, if it worked then it is genius, but because it didn't work...Darwin Awards.

(1) Instead of saying things like killing another human is wrong or she should have went to the police, the super super awesome black grrls said things like well that is what you get for having a secret girlfriend...well whadda think is going to happen. So freekin' epic funny.

* Reminder...never apologize for comedy.

* The series on Slate Mag, Florida the totally weirdest state is worth a looksie: panther CPR, bad teachers, Tard fighting...that's just the tip of the iceberg. Besides that, fuck hella snakes. So gross.

Floor Cocaine, Past Selves, Dogs On Skateboards

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 17 Jul 2013 17:10:00 +0000

When Peru is mentioned you know what i think of. Yes, awesome cheap and very high quality S. American coke. Also...The skating bulldogs of Peru. Day in Pictures SF. Gate.

My doing coke off the bathroom floor story is we were in the bathroom and it fell on that piss rug thing right in front of the toilet. So we turned it up side down, *filtered* it, and then proceed to the next photo. Fin.

Speaking of doing hella coke...Daryl Strawberry is a preacher now, with his own ministry and everything...including the blond, white, hottie wife (I would say huge booty also, but that is unconfirmed as of now; but hey, wadda the chances, like, a million percent).

What's that line from that Cheech and Chong movie, "Man, everytime we do cocaine this happens."

This is what the church that *saved* Daryl believes: marriage='s man and woman only, divorce is a sin...that is unless the unsaved partner (of the opposite sex) wants out of the marriage, the trinity, the second coming of zombie-J and The Great Tribulation. And in case you forgot, TGT is after Jesus physically comes back from teh ded and before his dad takes his elite few to American Heaven, but in the meantime...totally fuck up the remaining earthlings because they didn't choose the correct splinter cell of so many different and separate choices.

The next battle in the Boy Scouts of America is BMI. That's right buddies, Body Mass Index. If your little darling wants to camp in the woods, possible catching poison oak or teh gay, then your little angle needs to have a mass body index of < 40.0. Or...if your overly fat fuck kid is 5.8ft and over 262 lbs, then no gay camping for you. It's for the better anyways...You know the other kids will tease your overly huge son calling him things like Jabba or...fat.

Oh oh...oh. Remember fecal transplants. How can you forget. The worry has shifted from regulation to DIY poo poo transplants. I'm totally on top this one.

All infidels must die..but change my poopy diaper first...INFIDEL.

You have to appreciate the epic-ness and completeness of this title...Sheikh Abdullah Daoud, Saudi Arabian Cleric Issues Fatwa Calling For Female Babies To Wear Burkas. Holy fuck, or what, they will marry or rape the baby. Fuck.

Because you will never be pleased so shut the fuck up.

My new favorite meme is High expectations Asian Father.

My favorite sport is tennis. Number four ranked, Agnieszka Radwanska, has been dropped by a Catholic youth group (whatever that means) for being in the EPSN Body issue. Why.

I'll just say it..no I won't say it. Aaaaaa....

Seriously...you can't masturbate to this. WTF. I'd rather masturbate to this...

...or this. OK, that's all.

There must be a good explanation for the California hotel amnesia guy that woke up speaking only Swedish. Wasn't there a totally similar case where dude got bonked on the head, or something, and then he could only speak German. Yeah, I can't recall either. Part of me says this is a case of Transient Global Amnesia (whatever that is), orrrrr, this is a scam. Only time will tell. Or the internet. The internet knows everything.

Mmm, is this my past self in the here and now. I feel like I'm looking into a mirror and all I see is my 1974-ish self...except this kid is a gook and I'm a Flip. Still awesome tho.

Coo Coo, Kagh, Choo

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 15 Jul 2013 20:25:00 +0000

Coo coo, kagh, choo

It happened again, Cal Jung's hippie collective consciousness of the universe thing called, synchronicity. Dig this...I was bro-ing out watching a program about offseason American football, The Walrus was on and I recalled an old interview where Coach Walrus was asked what famous person he would like to meet, he said Sophia Loren, the next day sports talk radio bagged on him (outta all the current celebrities and celebrity hotties he chose So Lo). That got me a' thinkin' about a Sophia Loren interview where she was asked to compare models back in the day to today and she said, "We were so fat back then compared to now (and I thot "Oh baby, you mean natural, right."). Wouldn't you know it...she is in today's SF Gate. Whadda the chances.

So Lo is so fine I feel like I'm watching a Bollywood movie right now.

If you believe that my random thought about Coach Walrus mentioning So Lo and me thinking about So Lo is in accordance with the *plan* of the universe, or that somehow my thought was the seed for today's article to manifest, then you probably also believe in the so called miracle of a Colorado boy totally being hella sick, then all of a sudden he's not sick.

Me...quote me on this one, "No."

Don't get excited...it's her son.

Luke Poo Butt Burgie had a super bad case of the shits for a long period of time, he couldn't eat, the parents and doctors did everything they could, as a last resort the parents recruited these two nun types that prayed to Mother Mary Teresia Bonzel, who has been dead for aprox 100 years, to help the poor kid out. Wouldn't you know it, one day in 1999 Poo Bitt gets off the couch and says, "Mommy, my stomach doesn't hurt anymore (1)."

I'll bullet point this one...

I'll say what everyone is thinking...nice dress, grrl.

* First of all I'll say I'm totally glad the kid is feeling better. That is a good and OK thing.

* I'm down for saying it was miraculous, but to say that it was a miracle, meaning divine super power not of this world intervention, that is a stretch.

* Count allllll the hits and misses. Just because some nuns prayed for dude doesn't mean that prayer works, or that their prayers were answered. What about all the infinity times those nuns prayed for intervention and help and nothing happened (2).

I think this is 2009.

* Just because medical science can't explain the event doesn't mean that the correct and default position is God of the Gaps. If I've said it a million times...The only peeps claiming to know everything is religion. When doubt or the unknown comes into play just insert God as the how's and why's. The trouble with that is that the answer of God doesn't explain anything and stifles seeking the truth. When science doesn't know something...they admit to it and then try and figure it out. Ya know.

* Besides the 100 year dead Momma Mary-M-T-B is going for the Superbowl of dead catholics...sainthood and the rules state that two confirmed miracles need to be on the resume for that to happen. So the timing of this *miracle* is *coincidental* at best (and when I say *coincidental* I mean totally not coincidental).

I'll just say what everyone one is thinking...what an ugly dog face. If I wuz God and Momma Mary came to the Pearly Gates I'd tell her to go thru the side door...at nite when no one is looking. We have standards here in heaven.

(A little side note. Pope two capital "X's" and three capital "I's" has just been, err, exempted from the rule of two confirmed miracles and is well on his road to the playoffs (canonization) and the Superbowl (sainthood). Mother Mary had to wait 114 years, but Pope two capital "X's" and three capital "I's" doesn't have to wait for shit (in comparison) or follow the rules. Vatican=boys club).

These cute adorable superior race Germans stole my idea and Johnny Apple-seed'ed the town of Gottingen. Weed plants have sprouted up all over town and authorities are not having it. Myyyy fantasy-idea thing is that next time I go to the Philippines I randomly throw out weed seeds everywhere I go and because of the tropical climate...hella weed plants will appear instantly everywhere. Oh, a guy can dream can't he. Great job and kudos to my pointy helmeted homies. You're so reich on this one (I thot that was teh funny).

Have you seen the ridiculously photogenic meme series thing. It's so funny. I propose a new one...the ridiculously photogenic Calcio Storico player. It's another one of those weird European sports like running and getting gorged by the bulls, cycling and soccer.

This is what I see...dude on the left is getting mauled, unlike other Euro sports you can use your hands while you handle the Harlem Globtrotters ball and dude on the right looks like he's going to Ren Faire. Oh, everyday is Ren Fair in Euro Town. Aaaaaaaa.

And finally...(I guess) In an effort to seem ridiculously stupid the new arch enemy, err, new Archbishop J-Wel, claim to be able to go biblical and speak in tongues. Ugh, wasn't this debunked by linguists, like, a million times. It's a learned behavior. I wouldn't even call it a language (because it's not).

Look man, I don't care that someone has a faith practice. What I care about is the pulling of wool over collective eyes-n-such. If one can have their belief system without ghosts, reincarnation and miracles then good for them. I'm totally down for that. If false hope of an other worldly place called heaven, the answer of "it's a miracle" and/or the claiming of gibberish as divine and earthly-valid, is required for belief...then this skeptic doesn't have enuff faith to be a believer.

(1) It didn't say this in the article but she probably thot, "Good, now stop shitting in your pants. I'm tired of this shit (pun intended)."

(2) The believer answer of "God did intervene, but 1) that doesn't mean you can see it, 2) he works in mysterious ways, 3) he was testing the boy and everyone around him 4) etc, etc, etc...is a stupid childless answer that doesn't explain anything and as an adult...I will have none of that. (Finger snapping sound)

Luck's Not Here, Man

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 14 Jul 2013 16:49:00 +0000

Is that a Gattlin type 50 caliber on the side. Awesome.

So many thing happening...like the Trayvon thing. If I knew the decision was going to be last nite, I woulda stayed up to watch the riots on TV. Oakland, you so kooky. That girl that got shot in the face by the Taliban gave a speech at the UN. It was also her 16th B-Day. Timmy Tim Tim threw a no hitter. Awesome. And...

If all that other shit were not happening right now then The Great Ice Cream Truck Wars Of Summer 2013 would be the top headline everyday. Everyday. It's like the Hatfields v. McCoys. It's so old no one know who started it but recently a Mr. Ding A Ling truck drove into oncoming traffic on Route 123. Perhaps he was being tailed/intimidated by a Sno Cone Jo truck operator, who months earlier was booked on harassment for yelling "This is my town" at Mr. Ding A Ling truck driver, and then tailgating (read stalking) his icey cool competition. More later as details emerge.

Is this the part where they were singing "Save the whales...but shoot the seals." I think so.

Eating ice cream is one way to stay cool in the summer (if you wanna grow that marsupial pouch over your six pack), but the far better way is to...not wear a shirt. Yes the ancient and original *air conditioning* is making a come back. But for myself and Topless Travis...we be doin' it all alongs, yo.

This is my bro-bra killing by not wearing a shirt for 6 years.

I spent hours and hours at The Racial Slur Database. The topic of derogatory words for Filipino peeps came up yesterday. I know of none and the ones at TRSD are not very good. I did however come to the realization that you can put "nigger" on the end of any race and then that becomes a racial slur. A good one at that. Fligger: Filipinos that act black, Greek: olive nigger, Hawaiians: lava nigger, and my beautiful Asians are bandwidth niggers. Hours.

This is the Asian food pyramid. The rat is on top.

Efren, a Sonoma County supervisor , was arrested on suspicion of prowling and burglary. He was arrested while trying to climb thru a window, but the best part is, he was arrested in his underwear and socks. He should have told them that he was trying to stay cool. It is the middle of summer and the new trend and all.

How cute, I hope they don't grow up to be bananas.

Apparently expecting, wanting to expect and the expectation is over, mothers in Taiwan didn't read my post where I (correctly) said that there is no such thing as luck. It is not uncommon for women who just squirted out an awesome Taiwanese baby to give her leftover/remaining sanitary pads to women that want to have a baby. It is believed that it brings...luck.

Where's my fuckin' baby. Aaaaaaaaa.....

I'm Racist, But I'm Hot, So It's OK

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 13 Jul 2013 16:37:00 +0000

When I was a kid I used to think Don Rickles was racist. Now I think he's the godfather of everything that is funny. Mr. Potato Head...fuck Mr. Potato Head. I wanna say he's Irish, but he looks like a Goombah.

I was just minding my own business watching Mega Python v. Gatoroid when instinctively Twitter summoned me. Look man, racism is only funny when I do it (and Don Rickles) and isn't it bad enuff that only Asian people died when that plane totally crashed in The City the other day and, there is always an and, and one of the compact mathematical and efficient Asians that died got run over by one of the *rescue* vehicles. Asians are DIY'ers (read cheap) so I'll just rescue myself, thanks. Now this...

Debbie Gibson and Tiffany are in Mega Python v Gatoroid and as adults...they are both butt ugly.

Some intern budding comedian, and/or totally not living in this world coke fiend, type thought it would be funny to release fake but funny names of the pilots that tried to drop in onto the runway at SFO like it wuz a skate ramp and ollie down the runway. Little did that (probably) Nazi-Southerner-S. African intern know that Capt. Sum Ting Wong and Ho Lee Fuk are heroes in Asian history that united all the slanty eyes and rice dicks in the world and were also instrumental in inventing spaghetti and dragons (1). I bet the rescue vehicle driver and the NTSB intern is (sit down for this one)...black (gasp).

I'll confess, I got this pic from a place called Beautiful Black Girls dot com.

Can't we all just get along...I guess not. Wouldn't you know it some futureless black youth (probably from Oakland) are totally beating up and robbing old Chinese ladies in The City. A community organizer, Caroline Mo, claims this is The City's "dirty little secret" which confuses me because I thought the streets and sidewalks smelling like piss was the dirty little secret. The divisions between the two communities run deep and far. Black youth totally hate myyyyyy people because we have the ability to come to America with nothing in our pockets, knowing no english and in four years have a college degree and become tax paying, accepted and well liked contributing members of society. Asian people hate black youth because they beat up old Asian ladies, steal their money then go by some super chronic weed and not share.

Me I blame the old Asian ladies because 1) Asian people don't trust banks and carry hella money on their person because it makes them feel safe knowing where their money is 2) Asian people are hella meek and (probably) after the robbery the Asian person blames themselves and 3) old Asian women...look like my mom. Aaaaaaa...

Meanwhile in China...A Chinese newspaper in an effort of goodwill has created an entire section of the paper for their very good business partner Africa. In case you didn't know, that's where hella black people are. Even tho my rice eating, yellow, stinky fish breadth cousins in the Mainland are sincerely trying to improve relations that doesn't mean mistakes are not going to happen.

In 2006 at some kinda summit thing Team Yellow erected a billboard pumping up their trading partner, Africa, showing that those people, even tho they are black, are totally cool peeps. What was the depiction on the billboard, just a tribesman with a bone thru his nose. Ouch. That would be like if Americans wanted to pump up the Filipino community by erecting a billboard with those headhunting, head shrinking, people eating Filipino's. I would think that's cool but I'm only one person.

Either this is fake or this particular Rhodes scholar has two old Asian ladies inserted into her bootie.

Mainland China's kindness to black peeps doesn't end there. Obviously watermelon and blond white hoes with really big, I mean really big, booties, jokes are off limits. Low brow stuff like that is childish. But that is not gonna stop Chairman Meow and his Mad Mein advertising geniuses from creating a black faced, top hat wearing, dancing, big mouth black man smiling, white teeth showing character to promote..."Black People Toothpaste." I'm not shitting you.

I think there is something lost in translation. Didn't they see the new Karate Kid. Oh, that's probably what made them mad. It sucked.

It is the best selling toothpaste in China and wouldn't you know it, coming in a close second is..."Black Younger Sister Toothpaste."

I'm afraid to go to the Africa newspapers and see how they depict Asians. Oh wait, they don't have newspapers, only hella civil wars, dictators and hunger. That's right.

(1) If you don't know that's myyyyy joke, then stop coming here...for the rest of the day, but come back tomorrow.

* 52 y/o and recently thrown outta a train or bus or something Mrs. Chen, "I feel ashamed that this horrible bad luck has happened to me. I only hope that my bad luck will fend off future bad luck situations for other people." Me, "Fuck, no wonder we get our asses kicked and robbed. I propose the Chinese peeps in The City go Los Angeles Korean store owner style."

Yes, I Heart Cats. So There

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 12 Jul 2013 18:52:00 +0000

Buy my brothers (2010) comedy album on iTunes. Bitches.

Remember that hottie that got fired by her dentist boss, long time friend, father figure type because HE was having *impure* thoughts and was worried that in reality (not in his head) he would try and get on some of that and that would ruin his marriage. Top Iowa court ruled, "Mmm, OK then." Wha...She can't help it that she is hot and dude can't control his thoughts. All she is guilty of is going to work and doing a good job.

When I snap my fingers all your ailments will be gone. Shit, I don't have fingers. Meow.

Remember that self help guru type that killed two people in his sweat lodge. He's being released from prison, early. He charged hella money for his Spiritual Warrior seminar weekend thing, aaannnd, boiled two spirit warriors to death in his death, err, sweat lodge. Fuckity.

This one absolutely pisses me off. There is a boy missing in So Cal and some loser had what she called *visions* of where the boy is so she called the police, they went there and they found some remains. No. No. No fuckin' no. The psycho, err, psychic, may have gotten this ONE correct (by chance and the remains still have to be identified) but I'm sure if we were to count ALL the hits and ALL the misses it would come out to be, like, 49,999 to 1 (1). Hell, I'm generous today, maybe two hits. I just don't believe it. So there.

Dammmmm. I'am of the belief that fish oil is good for you, ya know for those forty something athletic joints your are so killin' it with (right). Well there is a new survey that states there may be a link to that joint lubricating fish oil and prostate cancer. Even eating delicious fish is considered a factor in the P-Can. Dam, I like eating my delicious fish.

Eating fish is the least of all the bad things I do to my body. I'm still gonna eat it...and heart it.

Destabilizing The Jenny McCarthy Public-Health Industrial Complex. If the title of this article were not so serious, I would laugh. Great copy.

Will this time become known as the great purge of Scientology. I hope so. Leah Remini (King of Queens) doesn't like the brutal excommunication policy of the sci-fy religion. What...she doesn't like that one has to leave their family, give up all their possessions, enslave themselves to the organization so they can become clear and when they are perceived to do something *bad* (which includes thought crimes), they get kicked out onto the street and the so called religion that they gave everything to, and gave up everything for, won't even give them the metaphorical time of freekin' day. Actually no one likes that. Good fer her.

The hilariously named rebel group in the southern Philippines, the MILF, has some pre-fighting words for the Northern Catholic-ish government. (Something like...) If the peace talks don't go down and the shit just crumbles again-when we are so close to peace-then we will join the Bangsamoro Islamic Freedom Fighters (BIFF) and fuck shit up, yo. I think the BIFF is led by that dude that (pretty much) just invaded a country in S.E.Asia (I totally forgot); then got his ass and his *freedom fighters* kicked out. And don't get the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF) confused with the Moro National Liberation Front (MNLF), those are two separate groups. In other island news, the National Peoples Army (NPA), the other other other rebel group in the islands... released their hostage in Agusan de Sur.

Aqusan de Sur. How many rebel groups do you see in this picture. Too many.

(1) How many thoughts does a peep have a day, like 50 to 80 thousand.

Papa Bear, Thanks

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 11 Jul 2013 18:44:00 +0000

Just found this really mean, fucked up and totally funny place called Quickmeme. The Internet needs to thank Richard "Papa Bear" Dawkins for creating meme; otherwise how would we/I spend hours and hours a day. Thanks Richie.

My favorites are First World Problems (the woman crying) and Third World Success (the stoked African kid). There are many more tho, like the baby success one (I think it's called Success Kid) , College Liberal, Bad Luck Brian is cringey brutal and there is not enuff of them, but to me, Overly Manly Men is sooooo funny. Oh, and you can add your own captions.

Enjoy super mean bad first world peeps...I did.

* The "immortal" and "infant mortality" are the funniest ones to me.

Cat's ARE Teh Aliens

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 11 Jul 2013 16:59:00 +0000

Get me sum fuckin' tuna human slave or I'll piss on sumthin.

OK, I give in...the aliens ARE here and they are bla bla bla-n-shit. They are infecting the world with their virus-disease stuffs, they are destroying the environment by polluting the oceans and killing hella fish, they have taken over the internet and they are enslaving us. If that is not world domination, I don't know what is. All hail the masters of the universe.

The probability that there is a deist God is tooooooottttaaalalllllyyyy small, hella small...almost nonexistent (much less a specific splinter cell God). But there is a Bill "Freekin'" Moyers and what ever Willy says is cool with me. "The next time you say the Pledge of Allegiance...remember: it's a lie." Wow William, tell us what you really feel (DFTCW).

Just because a religious choir sings about God and feels all spiritual-y and transcend-y doesn't mean the Great Surveillance Camera In The Sky is beaming down the feel good to the flabby angelic singers (1). Thanks brain and physiology. No Gawd required. Singing requires breathing so more or less everyones breathing synchronizes because of the way the parts of the song are arranged, yada yada yada. You can insert any song with any lyrics and have any people sing it, you know-synchronized, and all their evolved human brains will tell their bodies to release the spiritual-y transcend-y feel good stuffs and, yada yada yada. Yeah.

The first film from a female Saudi filmmaker (Haifaa Al-Mansour), Wadjda, looks like a tear jerker. It's the story about a 10 y/o girl and she wants to win the memorize the Qu'ran contest so she can win the prize money and then she can buy a bike. I can only imagine what the character has to go thru to get a fuckin' bike. Yuck. Making the movie was probably really hard too.

OK, in this scene I want you ladies to walk down the street and show emotion on those faces.

Oh my garsh Carl Jung's synchronically happened again. I mention that The City smells like piss and there is an article in the paper I read everyday, from The City mentioned. Wow. Myyyyy thoughts really do *correspond* with the happenings of the universe in a mystical, spiritual, no way to quantify it, connect-y way. We are like one, man.

The latest on the plane crash in The City is that the pilot was temporarily blinded by a *mysterious flash*. Put you seat belts on atheists-skeptics, you know what that means. God was there. God was there to warn dude so he could, err, save everyone, well, except the two that died. It's that or the dude is lying to save his ass. One word...Oscam's razor.

Good nite John Boy.

* RIP Joe Connely, 85. Dude play the shopkeeper on the Waltons. I do recall at the house on the end of Ridley we did this a couple o' few times. OK...you can cry now.

(1) Yes, I'm implying that ALL religious chorus singers are flabby. That one person per congregation doesn't count. Aaaaaaa......

Philippine Politics v. American Politics

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 10 Jul 2013 20:07:00 +0000

"The power set." It sounds mathematical. That is soooo Asian.

I love myyyy beautiful Philippines...I really do. I love the good stuffs and I want the bad stuffs to change for the better (I'm rolling my eyes)

The Department of Foreign Affairs has changed the alert level in Egypt, for all the Filipino OFW's, to level two. That's cool, right. Buuuttttttt I couldn't find on the DFA site what level two means and how many levels exists. Part of me thinks that it is a good thing the Philippine govt is looking out for the peeps and another part of me thinks "Get them the fuck outta there. It is not that important that rich Egyptians have maids to beat up, rape and not pay while their country (Egypt) is in turmoil.

The Philippines is so poor this girl couldn't afford enuff cloth to cover, what we call, her puwit. Maybe one of you American white dudes should adopt her and give her a better life.

This is what I like to see coming outta the islands. Rogue magazine looks like a Vanity Fair, Architectural Digest, Conde Nast type magazine. It's for the foodies (cultural foodies at that) fashionistas, artist types, (looks to be) good journalism, cultural stuffs, etc... So much of the information coming outta the islands is super negative and depressing. It is refreshing to see something artistic, intellectual and refined. Of course only the Illustrado's will be checking out the magazine. the poor peeps will be too busy working (or not working) to read glossy awesome magazines. OK...now for the super negative.

I think Pampanga is one of the places where modern day crucifixions happen.

(Try to follow me on this one...)

Yeah buddies...politics.

I just found out yesterday that Erap is now the mayor of Manila. WTF. Filipino politicians laugh at worry wart American politicians (that hope they can revive their puny American political careers after their so called scandals). Erap pretty recently was the president of the Philippines. In early 2000-ish there were riots to get him outta office and soon after that he was convicted of corruption. To the eyes of the world that is something to report and all, but my beautiful Philippines is not done yet.

Then...then he gets pardoned. Fastforward, like, ten years or so and now Joseph "Erap" Estrada is now mayor of the capital of the Philippines (Manila) and he promised that his first job would be to (sit down)..get rid of the piss smell that permeates the city.

That's not all...

Ilocos Norte. Where did they put all the shoes.

Imelda Marcos, yes THAT Imelda Marcos, has successfully won a second term as congresperson of the place I wanna visit, Ilocos Norte. Her daughter, Imee, was re-elected governor (1). So what we have here is members of the former first family that stole 100's of millions of dollars from the people, they hi-tailed it to Hawaii and they refused to give the money back when they came back to the Philippines. According to voters...it's all good. What's the big deal.

I recognize the pattern Imee is wearing as something my Filipino Folk Dancing partners wore back in the day. I wore some kinda capri-peasant pants.

The president before the current president (my man P-Noy), Gloria is currently (guess) being investigate on corruption charges. That is not a big deal in the Philippines. In fact, it seems par for course. This case has the distinct Filipino stamp on it because (it looks to me) Gloria *faked* an illness and went into the hospital to avoid being charged. She even tried to leave the country claiming Philippine hospitals do not have the expertise to cure her ailment (2). Not to be out maneuvered the government put her under hospital detention as the corruption case moves forward. This is not even the awesome part.

At the time of this writing, it looks like Gloria is going to win a second term as representative of totally visitable, Pampanga. And of course, her son Dato is ahead in the congressional race in his part of the islands and it looks like he is gonna win.

So American politicians are little bitch ass punks in that they worry about how to revive their political careers and public acceptance because they may have/allegedly tweeted pics of the White Snake, had an affair and/or slept with prostitutes.

When is comes to awesomeness of politicians and political systems my beautiful Philippines is right up there, if not *better* that...Mexico and Russia. Good company indeed.

Lates

(1) I wanna make a joke that she killed her competition, but 1) I don't know and that would be a bad joke and 2) it is entirely possible given the history of politics in the islands (please don't kill me, Imee).

(2) The ailment may or may not be fake, but the timing of it coming on and trying to leave the country when you are about to go to court on corruption charges is...whaddayacallit...lame.

* Erap is the Filipino Ronald Reagan. He was a movie star turned politician.

* Article Yahoo.

* I wouldn't be surprised if the current president will one day face corruption charges, get thrown outta office and then get re-elected. Dude is considered the Barak Obama of the Philippines. He came in with pedigree and hella promise of change. Time will tell. Good luck with that.

The Half Hearted Low Energy Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 09 Jul 2013 18:26:00 +0000

I woke up like this.

This is a good idea for an interactive article, but it doesn't have enuff...meat. Obviously the best ending for any movie, any time, is when all the characters die in the end (1).

Nothing bothers me more than (a person with) super vague and the often times incorrect facts. Congrats to Andy for winning Wimbledon, but really...really. He wasn't the first Brit to win the championships in, like, 77 years, he was the first male to win in that period of time. Who's afraid of Virgina WADE (1977 champion), apparently the sexist sports media, Wimbledon and anyone that participated. I guess it doesn't count if one of the ladies do it (and men are in charge of...recognition).

Over 100 degrees today in Sac Town. Think cool thoughts...and yes, I just made me some Bo and Luke Dukes.

Previously I linked the super long article to every atheists favorite *Christian philosopher*, WLC, the other day. It's worth a read. Today, err, July 8th, RD answers the question how does a super smart Phd. philosopher defend the biblical def. of marriage (between one man and one woman). Mental gymnastics, straw peeps and a host of logical fallacies, contradiction and WTF's, that's how.

What costs over $7,000 for two weeks of therapy, can cure a whooooollllle host of ailments, increases your chance of being sexually assaulted (?) and is unregulated. If you guess DAT, then you are correct. Dolphin assisted therapy is junk. It's not even junk science. It's just junk. It would be totally cool to swim with a dolphin. Anyone would be stoked. But does it cure anything. It just cures you of having too much money in your wallet.

Adorable dolphin adorably sexually assaults little girl.

In totally not related news...a whale knocks out a surfer with it's tail. Maybe dude was trying to develop the lesser known...whale therapy.

If Pat has a team of people that are supposed to tell him when he is about to say something stupid...they should all be fired. The incredible ridiculous-ness-es of Pat's comments never ceases to amaze me. It makes me wanna puke, err, vomit.

You are a real west coast hippie if you think 24 signs you are a west coast hippie is totally stupid. This is what I get for going to Buzzfeed to look at funny cat photos.

The five senses are easily deceived. We may think we hear or see something, but it is not. People believe they have seen an alien operated ufo, bigfoot, ghosts. People believe they heard something; and then someone gets slapped. Both sides in the Trayvon case believe the audio is on their side so WTF.

I don't even care. I'm outta energy.

(1) I don't know the name of the movie, but in the 70's my dad took us to see a kung fu movie in Chinatown and when we got back home we were all pumped up. My mom said, wow it must have been a good movie. I said, with an ear to ear smile across my face (I was genuinely totally stoked), "everyone died in the end." The main bad guys and their lackeys, the good guys, the innocent, the people in the restaurant, the people in the street...all dead. I do recall that it was a knife movie (and back then, and even now, I don't really like knife action movies) and this dude that was in a lot of the good Shaw Bro's movies but can't recall his name, was in the movie. Shit, I wish I knew what it was called.

* Oh I saved a couple of links about end of times theology because I'm going to write that in depth op-piece that I haven't written in a while. Does belief in end of times nonsense influence how people approach human produced climate change. Yes. If you believe that God created everything and is the cause of everything, then 1) mere humans couldn't alter the climate and 2) if your concern is a heaven NOT of this erffs, then why would you take care of the here and now (you would not).

The ridiculously photogenic Syrian rebel meme. I think it's soooo funny.

Cat Dragging In Russia

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 09 Jul 2013 00:37:00 +0000

This was number eight on Buzzfeed's 13 animals having a bad day. This is so funny to me because i used to take my dead flat cat, Cleo, out for drags.

No Tennis On TV Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 08 Jul 2013 19:23:00 +0000

First of all congrats to Andy "I need a personality" Murray for being the first Brit to win the greatest tennis tourney (say it it a God like voice...with a drunk and lyrical Scottish accent) in the woooorrrllllldddddd...Wimbledon. I think Novak "I also need a personality" Djokovic, the worlds number one player, just gave it to him. For it being such a huge thingy, it was anti climatic (1). Still, I am happy for my pasty friends across the pond who were quite heroic for routing for their guy in the *blistering* English weather.

Egypt. What the frackin' fuck. As of right now Egypt is beyond my snarky remarks (as if) and if I think about it anymore, my fuckin' head will explode. That is all fer dat one today.

You think I won't say it...Kate looks fat and (what I call) tubular in this photo.

Wouldn't you know it a majority of white evangelicals and black protestants see the rise of the nones as a bad thing for society while a majority of da you'fs waz more like "meh." I'll side with the future (read da kids) on this one. The two groups mentioned first are all about *the word of God* which means that in the face of hella evidence they 1) believe the law of a God that may or may not exist (and probably doesn't) is a law that resides above rational manmade laws and 2) that is why they are totally NOT capable of changing their position on things like LGBT issues. Cognitive dissonance anyone.

The only thing more American than drinking beer is drinking beer, smoking weed and shooting guns at the same time...and capitalism...and secularism...and the D-Indie. The worlds grossest beer Sam Adams (sorry) has/had a commercial where the Declaration of Independence is quoted but leaves out...Gawd. Me, "Good."

Z-Man's gun.

Speaking of guns...the Z-Man trial.

The newer version of Z's gun. Quite a handsome piece.

You know how when ever there is a trial of anykind and dudes mommy gets on the stand and says something like "Myyyyy boy would never do anything like that. Heeee would never brutally murder, rape and rob anyone. Iiiiii know, I'm his mother," you know, THAT situation. The thing about it is it seems like everytime a dude does something to someone, his moms says "no, not my boy." The thing about that is...the mothers are always wrong. I don't know how to feel about this one...both mothers testify in the Z-Man trial. Could they both be wrong. Too bad sons don't have the same loyalty.

Oh Gawd, *soccer fan* Jim Rome must be rolling in his grave right now (2). I don't know why Americans do not heart the international sport of Futball. Soccer has riots, fighting, weapons check in counters at matches, hearty violent factions and hella drinking and now...this. Brazilian referee beheaded by referee. What did he do, like, give a player a yellow card or something. Non. He stabbed a player.

I think we should import that into American sports. C'mon drunk hockey dad, little league dad that makes his 10 y/o train (instead of play like a child) and/or beauty pageant momz, you know you want THAT option. Could you imagine Dunleavy stabbing LeBron and then Miami fans go Headless Horem...err, Headless ref on dude.

I don't see what is wrong with the toddler hooker costume. If I took the time and effort to dress my toddler as a hooker and we didn't win the beauty pageant...I would cut someone's head off. There, I said it.

It's a pretty thought.

This is baddass and innovative. The new Kel Tech shotgun is a bull pup design and get this, it has two six shot tubular magazines. I'm in loooovvve.

(1) However, I did cry three times during the championship, including the end of the final, but that is more about me than the actual tennis played.

(2) Wha...Romey's not dead yet. That's my bad. Don't tell him about the soccer thing, he might have a h-attack. Aaaaaaaaaa......

Go Jdriiiiir Agh...And Killing Hella Elephants

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 03 Jul 2013 20:05:00 +0000

Ugh, Dad...does this mean we aren't going to the waterhole later. Dad...Dad...

This is the saddest story ever evah. The nutshell is dude played some kinda video game (hell if I know what it is, I don't play video games), he left a comment on FB that said something like eat babies, kill bla bla bla, blow up the school, I'm bart Scot pissed, guns, bombs, paranoia yada cubed. Then he gets put in jail, bail is, like, $500,000, he's getting harassed, like beat up harassed, because he is a weakling suburban punk ass, and...his dad cries on NPR. I cried too.

(Cough change subject Cough) Speaking of drinking beer...

Where's the plastic ring-y thing that kills wildlife...probably in the ocean already.

The lowly canned beer has made a come back. Craft beers have poo poo'd the choice of everyone from teenage punk rockers to ice fisherpeople (Gud-dayyy, A). I blame the foodie culture philosophy because beer does taste better in bottles and esp. in the last decade or so quality reigns (as it should). The new beer can is supposed to enhance taste...I dunno. I see how a built in carb enhances the amount of delicious beer that goes into my mouth, but taste. Mmmm, maybe, not likely, no. Regardless...cans are baddass.

I like the can because you can fill your backpack with cans when you go to those free weekend concerts and festivals in The City; can't do that with bottles. It is better/easier to recycle cans. And they are cheaper to buy (besides that you can't throw a cardboard box in the ocean and kill seagulls, you can do that with the plastic holdertogether'ers of cans). I do like the new built in carb, tho (1).

Textbook...except the haircut. C'mon bro.

In the great Filipino American novel that I'm so diligently working on I'm going to debunk so called Eastern philosophy, new age crap and their pioneers (Castaneda), baby boomers in general esp. the pranksters and then the hippies...On my research travels I came across an old blog called...Philosophy Bro. Dude, you know I like that.

Did anyone credible even like that super lame Bible miniseries thing on cable a little while back. Man, you know when conservative believers think it's no good, it's really no good. But that is not going to stop NBC from coming out with a sequel...

What's wrong with this picture...no ivory handled guns. Can't 4get the ivory handled guns. WTF.

(Cough cough) Speaking of Joseph Kony and his Lords Resistance Army and killing hella elephants, what has dude been up to (besides abducting women and children, killing and robbing, evading authorities...). Oh, just killing hella elephants in game reserves, for their tusks, so weird Chinese peeps can have ivory figurines or snort it or stick it up there, or do whatever it is that they do with the stuff.

If I ever get a chance to check them out, I WILL REQUEST...Godzilla.

Japanese monks using rock to spread their message is infinity times cooler than Christian Rock. I admit that I may be biased, but really (leave the room if you are easily offended) whenever Christians try and be cool and hip they stand out worse than, well...Japanese monks trying to rock out. Just look at U2 Aaaaaaaaa.....

Oh I almost forgot this one. The Atheist Slayer, you know who I'm talking about, has an epic article (written about him) in The Chronicle Of Higher Education. No, it's not Chong and the article is not about smoking weed. It's about W.L.C.. Yes, THAT W.L.C.. I really like the title of the article The New Theist. It's so obvious and great I wish I came up with it. I know I know, atheists, you hate the guy, but you know the sayin'...to know them is to...beat them in debate. I think Sun Tzu said that. Right.

Lates.

(1) This is an example of gen-x taking the place of boomers; when stuff we used to do as kids becomes mainstream. What's next a built in hose so you can beer bong it...hey, that's a good idea.

* How stuff works...carburetor.

* How to shotgun a beer

* I've cried twice today. Once when listening to the NPR story about the pathetic weak not tuff at all probably middle class suburban white American kid that is getting beat up in jail and...just now when Andy Murray beat Fernando Verdasco. Thrilling five set match.

The Bad Ol' Two Headed Dog Experiment

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 02 Jul 2013 17:01:00 +0000

I'll just say what everyone is thinking...1) this underwear is so gay 2) I soooo want a pair of these and 3) we know this dude is Irish.

Well it's official...yoga is not Satan's calisthenics, according to the judge. If it were so, then I guess learning a Chinese kung fu and Russian Sambo is automatically learning communism, right. What it is (pause) is a way to strengthen the body and mind and at the very least, it exposes fat brainwashed white Christian kids in Amerika, with overbearing totally not flexible (in body and mind) parents, to something other than (insert whatever it is that the spawn of closed minded uber religious parents do when they are not doing yoga, here)...School prayer at graduations and simple clueless elitist we were just praising the lord jesus christ stuffs...still happening.

This one is like the Twilight Zone...Myyyyyy beautiful and hardworking Mexican cousins are totally doin' it and having those el baby-o's. So much so that the Latino population, like right now, is equal to the gringo population and...there is always an and, and by next year they will regain the top demographic spot (a spot they have not occupied since anyone besides them, or native peeps, ever evah came to this great Western state).

It is Twilite Zone-esque because the family values crowd is all about be fruitful and multiply, and indoctrination, which is what happened...to the democratic voting brown peeps.

Don't ask me how I got on this topic...and I watched the video so you don't have to...The really gross and yucky Two Headed Dog experiment. Really. I started on one blog and it was about the possibility of a successful human head transplant (not possible), which led me to fuckin' gross grossville. Trust me, you-and you know who you are-will not like the video or the stills.

What's wrong with this picture, you know, besides one dog is fuckin' attached to another dog...the photographer isn't using the flash.

Still to this day, in the year, mmm...2013...I still want one of those tiny awesome human babies made by the Team Daddy Chromosomes inside of me...and I want it with someone close to my age. That is why I loooovvveee articles like this. Don't believe the hype, ladies.

The answer of God is easy. You don't have to know the details of how anything works like the weather cycles or chemical reactions, germ theory, the second law of thermodynamics etc...When asked how does something work, one can just say "God did it." The non-answer of God is easy, science is hard. (Insert earthy, easy to understand, colloquial saying about the difficult path is mo' better than the easy path, here)

Sausage, git yer sausage...we've got all kinds, we've got Italian sausage, the other white meat sausage and don't tell your husband...black sausage...git yer sausage'es.

The School of Venus sounds like a sick arse summer time techno album, the kind you play everyday everywhere you go allllll summer, but it's not. It's a 17th century sex manual for the ladies. Apparently "written pornography" was common back in the day. Who knew.

The opening lines from this article on Body Language is totally funny. I think there are times when it is possible to read some body language, but if you are a stupid person and take it to an extreme level, and/or believe in stuff like phrenology, palm reading and handwriting analysis and signs in daily life sent from the universe, then this article is more your speed. And yes, I'm implying that (pause) that speed is an inferior and lesser speed than the super awesome speed of Team Skeptic. Sorry losers (dam, I'm extra *gritty* today. oh well).

"...but atheism saved me." Wow, that has a great melodic ring to it. This dude has been getting a lot of attention lately. Jer' was a preacher but now he's on The Other A-Team. I heart these guys the best. Still after all these years (I believe) the best way to debunk religion is with (said) religion. All the childish responses like (read in a childlike exasperated voice) "WELLLLL, that person was never a *true* (insert religion here)" or the not of this reality on earth "It is SATAN", are just that, childish.

What's wrong with this picture...the dude has the top up and it looks like a great and nice day.

I'll take the easy way out with the easy nonsensical response of...I guess Gawd works in mysterious ways when he has preachers do that. Aaaaaaaa....

Wimbledon time

I stole this from Tosh.O

It must be her dad.
She's a butter face.
He used to be a football player...in the first grade.
He's the "topper."
He makes her laugh, and that is what counts.
"Gee, I can't explain it...we just really connect on (pause) THAT level. Ya know."
"She see's beyond my obvious lack of respect for myself..."
They Stay up All Nite To Get Lucky.
He's totally rich.
She's a hooker, err, grad student paying bills.
and finally...
She is one of those freeks that like big fat sweaty fat dick.

Lates.

Google Reader, Thanks For The Mammaries

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 01 Jul 2013 15:01:00 +0000

First up...R.I.P. Google Reader. We had some good times, non. Myself and all the other goobers that used you to read the internet will miss seeing you everyday. Unlike so many...I haven't replaced you (yet) with Feedburner or any of the other ones. Me and your brother (Google Friend Connect) will miss you. BTW as of right, like, now...you can still subscribe to the Six Pack blog using GFC...that is, until they take that away also. No wonder there are revolutions-n-such.

Second...has anything happened in the news since my last post. Ya know with SCOTUS, ya know, wearing rainbow colored glasses-n-all. No. OK then...

First up, the second time. As far as this Nor Cal stoner can recall, I have only NOT finished one book in my adult life. I forgot what it was called, but it was an Opra Book Club selection from (I think) James Fey. You know the one, right. It was about drug addiction, a topic very near, and I do mean very near, to me; and if I recall correctly, it had a shitty sentence structure (no periods or capitals or both, something like that). Anyways...IT WAS A FAKE.

I'am sad to announce, there is now a second book that I will not finish reading in my adult life. Soooooo many peeps have recommended Carlos Castenada to me, "Oh dude, it's soooo trippy...Oh dude, they eat peyooooottttteeeeeee," but around page thirty of A Separate Reality my skeptic meter started going off. Either people were really stupid back then (I think first printing was in 68-ish) or...Team Skeptic is the evolution of humanity in real time. The book is fuckin' garbage.

It is so horrible that I will dedicate an entire post to the bull of the shit and the waste of time that is the empire of money and thought that dude made. Hint...Carlos is considered the grand/god father of the New Age movement. Dam, I really wanted to like this (1).

I Googled "mushrooms grow in cow shit" and it's not even the right kind.

How about something positive now...I found a new column to heart. Why come no one told me about The Straight Dope. Wow, this dude is the "I" in epic. It's kinda like Slate's Ask The Expert but it tackles the super important questions of existence, but funny style. On TSD you can learn anything from the physiology of the piss shiver (and do women piss shiver) to does God exist here and here (2) and while we are on the topic of him...what does the fuckin' "H" stand for in Jesus H. Christ. The author is all mysterious like and doesn't reveal personal details, but obviously he is Asian. Why, because he is an adult and he still lives with his mom. Aaaaaaaaaaa.....

As skeptics and atheists we have a duty to be totally smarter and better looking than the average person. That is why, with great shame, I have to report that I only got 12 of 13 answers correct on the Pew Research science quiz. I'm kicking myself in my rock hard tiny Asian butt because I should have gotten #12 correct. Is that shame I feel. Mmmm, that's new.

Hey, howz about some Monday morning algebra...yes, algebra, or as I call it, alge-bro. And yes, i do listen to Car Talk every week even tho I have not had a gas burning vehicle since the Gulf War, the first one. No Blood For Oil and no smarty no it all badge for you if you cannot do simple alge-bro. Have some coffee first, yo.

Lemurs. That is all.

Heatwave...Aaaaaaesome...It's gonna be in the 70's in The City (typical) and around or over 100 everywhere else, err, in Nor Cal.

Oh wait, fuck...I forgot Wimbledon is on...I'll do that thing later.

This should be a caption contest...The Euro tourist lady in her head, "I'am so going to break up with you. It's 128 out here. Jesus H. Christ...we're from Europe."

Lates

(1) Don't be a poser and mess with drugs and/or literature. To me, both are the realest deal-e-ist things ever evah. Mess with Texas instead.

(2) After reading the god answers I so want to walk to his/her house and say "it's the cosmological argument, William Lane Craig and those sexy atheist debunked that shit along time ago."

Raise The Bar, Up All Nite For Some Fun

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 27 Jun 2013 23:19:00 +0000

What can I say...I don't watch videos. I read myyyyyy news-n-such. But I did watch this video and the audio video of the song (sit tight until 2:20 into the song).

This is the song of summer...She's up all nite till the sun, I'm up all nite to get some...I can go for that.

From some geniuses at a place called Baraksdubs.

Also at B'sD's is Call Me Maybe, Sexy And I Know It, Can't Touch This. So awesome I wish this was my idea.

Reggae Wimbledon

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 26 Jun 2013 18:43:00 +0000

What is it I do in the mornings when there is no tennis on. I don't care...tennis is on. Wimbledon is one of my favorites (they are all my favorite) but now I have something new to cheer about...minorities.

No offense, I love white people-in fact some of my best friends are white people-but, Wimbledon is the whitest of the white tennis tourney's. Hell, The Australian Open called and said, "Kry-key mate, go on a walkabout and get a tan." It even rains during the tourney, and we all know the brown/black shiny skinned minorities hate the cold westernized rain; the tropical warm rain-cool-cold, fuck that. Anywho...

My new favorite player on the mens side, can I get a RASTA...RASTAFARI..I..I..I..i..i..i Babylon (lon, lon,lon,lon..), born in The Superior Germany, residing in Montego Bay (get ready) JAaa MAaaaa CAaaaa...D U S T I N "RUDE BAOOOOYYYYYYY" B R OOOOOWWWNNNNN (Brown). Freekin' epic. I love me my tennis and I love me myyyyyy minority brother's (and sisters) representing in a traditionally caucasian endeavor.

Rude Boy Brown, very recently, was touring the minor leagues of tennis in a camper and now my Dub Brotha is on the biggest stage of tennis. Today my man earned more money for beating on Lyton Hewit, than all of last year. Congrats my man, congrats (1).

Wait...there is more beautiful blackness to be had...

Weighing in at 61.4 kilos, hailing from Plantation, Fl, in the good ol' U. S. of A....Sloane "The other black girl on tour, the one that is not named Williams" Steeeeeeee-('V' sound)-eeeeeensssssssssss. Ms Stephens has been *emerging* for a while and she is breaking out right with an epic win over a very game A. Petkovic 8-6 in the third. for all you non tennis fans that means she was close to losing and she won in overtime.

Honorable mention, the Chinese dude that just lost to England's great white hope, Andy Murray (they are too boring a people to have epic nick names. Sorry. Very polite, tho).

Come back later for the atheisty part of the blog. I have a lot lined up like zombies, Maureen Dowd (hellloooo), mexi-cans and mexi-can't, and more of my light hearted super funny racism.

Lates.

(1) I don't forget things. Like I said B-4, I take negative things, place it inside-close to my heart-and I cultivate it into hate and, probably later in life, cancer: and I'm comfortable with that. I totally remember (and revisit in my mind) when Lyton "white man from down under" Hewit was playing the great black hope from New York city, James Freekin' Blake, and a black line judge made a call against said white man, said white man went up to the chair umpire and said something like this is ridiculous mate, can't you see the similarities (implying that the call went for the dashing black man because the lineperson was black). Right or wrong of me, I've totally hated the dude since then. Try and stop me.

* Yes, they do give the player's weight in the bio's.

Musical Mystery Solved

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 25 Jun 2013 22:31:00 +0000

Zee was the first or one of the first Hindi models to transition to movies. Pioneer I tell ya.

C'est moi and The Puma have been wondering what that super groovy song is in THAT Heineken commercial where the James Bond type dude goes into different clubs in different countries and dances with different hotties from different countries; then different jealous dudes from different countries move in to kick that whites dudes ass. If there was dialogue it would be "That white dude is dancing with our hotties. Get hiiimmmmmm."

If my internet search is correct then...It comes from the 1971 hit Hindi movie Hare Rama Hare Krishna staring a sleepy eyed, actor, director Dev Anand singing to a super hot Zeenat Anman as Jasbir. She is considered the first Bollywood hottie. "I was put into the sex symbol slot." Naw grrl, you deserve it. They were holding it for you.

The Zee Grrl in 71' (who's the nerd grrl in the background. That's my speed).

Me, "Are you two sisters. "Zee in 1971 and in 2010.

Back to the song. You can here it in full here. It is from a dude that composed music for Bollywood movies in the 70's, the legendary R.D. Burman.

Here's the beer commercial. Awesome.

Marsupial Pouch, Horus And Wimbledon

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 25 Jun 2013 18:33:00 +0000

Yes, she is wearing the Google glasses during her match.

I'm watching Wimbeldon right now. Oh Bethenie...c'mon Amerika. We can't let this super hot foreign grrl beat us. Let's go, the one fashionable grrl in tennis.

Yes, I would rather see this, than...

...this. I'm not complaining or splitting hairs, tho.

In case you didn't know, the Underwear Man is out, but my fav on the mens side, Dah-veed, is battling right this second.

Yuck, grrls like this. Why.

My fav on the women's side is Petra. she is the only player on the women's side that when you Google her there is a category of Petra Kvitova (ready for this)...Fat. I'm not kidding. Grrl, is that a marsupial pouch under that shirt. Is there a kangaroo in there. I'd hit that. Anyways...

I call this...Phat.

Check this out...Including every single place in the world, you can also get great Chinese food in China. Go figure. You know what else you can get, nooooo not SARS (this time), you can get American fast food, silly. I think it is part of our plot to take over the world. If our opponents are lethargic and bloated and sleepy with empty calories, then how can they defend themselves. Wait, youuuuuuu have one word for moi. Wha...

Cyber-terrorism, hacking, surveillance, drones, like what the whole PRISM thing is about and the thing in N-n-S Korea yesterday.

I totally want this multi screen thing.

Ok you got me there. I'll admit the very least that could happen is carpal tunnel syndrome but in the best of the best scenarios, a massive heartattack.

A dude in with one of those foreign names, Zaid al Hilli, has been arrested in France and simultaneously all muslims, peeps from non western countries and people with names that sound like that to the western ear, are collectively going "Dam bro, you fucked it up for all of us." So what that last years killing of his family looks like a contract killing, he's from Iraq (gasp) and he's an engineer (gasp again). It's very selfish of him to get arrested like that. Wa wa waaaaaaa....

Is anyone missing a Red Panda, cause it's in this dudes backyard.

Lately it is getting harder and harder to heart and support the Super Awesome Black Prez. There is the reinstating of Bush's super lame Patriot Act and that turned into the it happened during the Obama administration's watch PRISM thing; and let us not forget the unfair treatment (from said administration) of journalists. Just ask them.

I'm Amerikan (as opposed to an Ameri-Can't) so of course I have no idea what a row is but darling, super powerful and capable, Julia, is causing one. It has something to do with...knitting a kangaroo (don't forget the m-pouch) and this months issue of Australian Women's Weekly (yes, I read that mag to (2)).

Last nite that guy, Joel Olsteen, was trending on Twitter so you know I had to check it out. Apparently he was praying, to his specific and particular God, before that weird guy, Wallenda, walked on a cable over part of the Grand Canyon (if he was really good, he would walk the length of the Grand Canyon. Jus' sayin'). Soooo, that was a message from the universe to not watch it. Acharya watched it, tho. The Cable Walker was praying to Jesus for the wind to stop and Acharya busts out with a Nilch'i Diyin, Navajo weather God, blast. Archy is more epic than (insert something epic here).

I have more, but I'm outta brain calories, again. Sure do wish Horus would come out. It's cold in Nor Cal today.

(1) If you haven't noticed, I make up names for things. Some people call it the spare tire (which I have right now), I call it the Marsupial Pouch, regardless of persons' nationality.

Tennis anyone.

* Dammmm, Beth lost.

(2) Dude, you don't like this magazine. Check out these articles...One Father, Two Eggs, Two Wombs, Jane "Freekin" Fonda I'm having the best sex of my life, at 75. This magazine makes us look like we are the backwards ones with the water in our flushed toilets going the wrong way. No wonder they are known as the Happy Country and we are know for being Christian invaders that kill civilians, take over your land and economy and we can spy on you but you can't spy on us.

See what happens when your hottie president is an atheist.

* Dah-veed won.

K.T.S.A. Morning Edition, Monday

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 24 Jun 2013 15:43:00 +0000

The great Fil-Am novel that I am so diligently working on is influenced by Salinger's For Love, the man's man (before that sayin' was teh gay) E. Hem's and his The Sun Also Rises...theme wise. Oh yeah, and with hella of myyyyy atheism, brown sexiness and skepticism.

What the frackin' fuck. Besides a super sucky high temperature of 70 Alaska like degrees today, that transparent wet stuff is threatening to emerge from the sky and fall on me and my tent (in the backyard where I live, and...and I just fuckin' cleaned it yesterday). I'll tuff it out and before we know it and it will be in the 100's by Thurs, like it should be in Sac Town. Aaaannnnd some (clueless) people don't believe in human produced climate change. Anyways...

Yesterday I discovered the sickest newspaper in the world. Fuck Der Spiegel, The Times (any of them), myyyyyy beloved SF Chron, the Guardian etc...New York Daily News, bitches. Check out this epic reporting.

Weed Guy stabs Beer Guy in Times Square and Alien and Predator are eye witnesses.

"Sir, what is it that you saw."
"Rhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaa."

What is the world coming to when one stinky brilliant dude that holds a sign and wants free weed stabs the one brilliant stinky guy that holds a sign and wants free beer (2). Oh the humanity. Can't we all just get along. I know what I'm going to do...I'm going to make a sign that combines both and add cigarettes. Watch out losers in NY, that are weaker physically and not as skilled as I, that potentially would stab me. Filipinos invented knife fighting as far as I'm concerned (insert stabbing sound here).

Aprox 20 years ago Lorena "You Go Grrl" Bobbitt went hunting for the cheating bitch ass *North American White Snake*, caught it and then threw it away in a field. This reminds me of a Twitter trend yesterday when the Jodi Arias movie was playing on Lifetime. I sooo wish I got a screen shot of this, but (many of them were from black grrls and) it went like "lesson to men, don't play with girls hearts," "don't keep THAT secret g-friend" and the best one "of courz yo cheating ass iz gonna get stabbed." Once you go black, you never go back...if fact you never go anywhere after that.

Wisconsin man banned from all libraries for masturbating in the open. He apologized (as soon as the police showed up) and was fined $1,000's.

Naked man caught having sex with...dog in public. Probably one reason why houses are so cheep in Detroit. He's being evaluated.

Maybe the dog is a prostitute. What about sex workers rights. The man strikes again.

Is it evolution or de-evolution or just "What the fuck." 7 month old baby has a freekin tail and wouldn't you know it, the mom doesn't like it. And...and they are Asian (gasp).

(Thanks NY Daily, howz about some real news now...)

One of the doo doo things about the culture war for the public square is that we have to keep repeating ourselves. Companies for Jesus has been on the radar since fer evah. At least this article mentions some that I didn't know about. We all knew about Jesus Scopes (because Jesus hates Mooslums) and Chik-Fill-A, but Curves also. Curves.

My not scientific observation is that most believers are overweight. I even had to shrink this photo. Seriously.

Here's one for all the anti-science weirdoes out there. Now they have destroyed the song Twinkle twinkle, little star. Me, "Good."

I'm one of those skeptic knowitalls, that is except when I don't know something and acknowledge that. There is something called Amdahl's Law and brainy scientists are gonna break it. Obviously A's Law is the speed up in computing is equal to one over quantity 1 minus lower case "p" plus capital "P" over capital "N". Obviously it is about the age old battle between sequential computing v. parallel computing. Obviously parallel concurrency more is not necessarily more computing power. Right.

More processors does not ness. mean more computational speed (?).

SuperJesusMan has kryptonite. Various demons hate on that holy water stuffs. Wearwolfs (those who wear wolfs, not werewolves) hate on the silver bullet shot outta an awesome techy, modern and fantastically designed firearm (not the Coor's light one). Dirty stinky hippies hate on the daily shower (1) and dagnabit, them thar Mooslums hate on the (get ready for this one..) pork coated bullets.

Don't show these to people exiting Curves. Calories people, calories (oh yes I did).

Weeeee are in the news, again. Atheists create a *church* and attend it. Me, "Ughhhhhh." Look man let's just call it what it is...education. Which came first the chicken or the egg. Which came first normal happy atheist people that became angry because believers shove their beliefs in our face in the public square-which would make anyone mad- or us being mad for no reason. Angry atheists are angry for the same reason anyone else is angry...someone made them angry. This is why a so called study of Twitter, that compares us and them and that happiness peeps keep talking about, is the falsey false of the quaint mountainous European village called...La False-ville.

The stars died so you and I could be here, so we could mighty atheist blog...and I wouldn't want it any other way...

* Shit, almost 4got. RIP Bobby Blue Bland, softer and wayyyyy more soulful and blues-y than most.

(1) Did I say this joke here or was it 1) in a dream or 2) in the notes for the great Fil-Am novel that I'm so diligently working on...well, here it is again...You know when you have that actual girlfriend two days a month and she ask's "Did you shower today, you stink." Then you, err, i mean the hypothetical dude in the joke, says forcefully like a spoiled child "It hasn't been three days already." Then hypothetical dude breaks up with the girl and then drinks hella beer with his bros (who also haven't showered in three days). Sorry ladies.

(2) Shouldn't it be the other way around.

OK Boppers...I've Got A Message For You

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 23 Jun 2013 16:43:00 +0000

Those two Swedish tourist totally stand out among the Russian locals; they're not fat or drunk.

OK, Red alert comrades. I've got a message for you. Code Name Snowman is on the run. As of right now this second the dude (with a hottie g-friend) has taken his stone cold whistleblower coolness to the mighty and bear like, Russia. Da Da.

I Googled Russian Snow Man, but because they are too sexist to have snow people, and I got an international snowperson page, thing, place. It's super cute and prejudice.

Russian seems like a good place to hide and/or die. He can just get a lampshade or bucket, put it on his head, walk down the chilly streets, get totally wayyyyy to drunk and blend in.

Because Code Name Snowman is so awesome, no one knows what his intentions are or where his final destination lay. He could be in the mighty Russia for some good real vodka, not the crappy flavored shit, or he could just be using The Motherland to get to...Cuba. That would be a good place because all he would need is a straw hat and a cigar to fit in. No one would even notice him.

Non senor, my name is not Edward, it is Eduardo. Si.

Or...he could just be in Koo-bah to pick up some quality smokes before he heads to Venezuela, where, yes, it will be warm, but you can be warm and fashionable under the umbrella of your pina colad and floppy hat.

No El Cap-e-tan, my name is not Edward, I'm Edwardo.

I don't know where he is but I do have one suggestion (if you can dig iiiiiiiit). Git yer arse to Coney Island, bro-man.

* The Snowperson of all ethnicities page.

* Article SF Gate