Sooooo I got you guys all excited for my debut as a Gotham Girl and then I fell off the face of the blogging planet! MY BAD! Have I mentioned that roller derby can be pretty time-consuming?!

I am pleased to inform you that I have been drafted to the Queens of Pain (captained by none other than Suzy Hotrod)! I will also be playing with Gotham’s B travel team, the Wall Street Traitors.

Queens of Pain headshot

Wall Street Traitors headshot

March 31 was my first bout with Queens (and my first official bout EVER!). We lost to Brooklyn, but barely. Then last weekend (on April 14), Queens traveled to Philly to play the Heavy Metal Hookers. We won (!) and I scored a few of our points.

Roller derby makes me hungry. Like, all the time. This weekend Corner and I made soy balsamic slow cooker chicken, frozen banana bites, and mint chocolate chip cookies.

Today at lunch I went to Whole Foods in Tribeca because none of the other grocery stores I visited this weekend had coconut oil (which I need in order to make this joyful almond oatmeal). Whole Foods had like 8 kinds in stock! Yay!

I bought a Silhouette Cameo and have been experimenting with that. I used it to make a screen and I silkscreened my name and number on a bunch of shirts to use for derby. They turned out pretty well, if I do say so myself.

Byers Remorse

I’m dying to tell you all the results of the GGRD draft that took place last weekend. The latest batch of fresh meat and transfer skaters were placed on Gotham’s 4 home teams. Will I be skating for Manhattan Mayhem, Brooklyn Bombshells, Queens of Pain, or Bronx Gridlock? Since I am sworn to secrecy at the moment, you’ll just have to come to the Derbytaunt Ball to find out.

Ladies and gentlemen…I have procured paczki!

For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, you’ve been missing out. I didn’t realize that paczki are a Polish-American “thing” until I left Michigan and paczki on Mardi Gras were suddenly impossible to come by. So tonight, for the first time since leaving Michigan 4 years ago, I will eat paczki! HURRAH!

The definition, according to Wikipedia:

A paczek is a deep-fried piece of dough shaped into a flattened sphere and filled with confiture or other sweet filling. Paczki are usually covered with powdered sugar, icing or bits of dried orange zest. A small amount of grain alcohol (traditionally, Spiritus) is added to the dough before cooking; as it evaporates, it prevents the absorption of oil deep into the dough.

Although they look like berliners (German name), bismarcks (south-central Canada/north-central US name), and jelly doughnuts (generic name; sometimes “jam donut”), paczki are made from especially rich dough containing eggs, fats, sugar and sometimes milk. They feature a variety of fruit and creme fillings and can be glazed, or covered with granulated or powdered sugar. Powidla (stewed plum jam) and wild rose hip jam are traditional fillings, but many others are used as well, including strawberry, Bavarian cream, blueberry, custard, raspberry and apple.

I have no idea what flavors mine are, because I purchased these 8 paczki from a teeny Polish bakery in the East Village. I was the only English speaker in the place. I had to leave for work extra early in order to retrieve them. And tonight I look forward to sampling them all with friends at my self-hosted paczki potluck! Happy Mardi Gras, everyone!

I’ve been asked to write my player bio for GGRD’s website and 2012 program. As a writer, you’d think this would be easy, but it’s HARD to write about yourself! I need to reveal some random facts about me, list some of my likes and dislikes, etc. I’ve shared my draft below.

Also, it’s super weird referring to myself as “Byers”. I like the nickname Morse better. Or Remorse. Or Remy. But unfortunately, I think Byers is the most organic shortened name.

Derby Name: Byers Remorse
Number: 13% APR

I also need to devise a tagline to accompany my derby name and I have zero ideas. Any suggestions?

Skating in a schoolyard scrimmage in Chinatown to keep my skills up last summer.

Derby Background (in case you missed it)

(This is too long for the program stuff, it’s just to clue you in regarding my somewhat convoluted derby history.)

Miss Remorse discovered derby in the summer of 2010, when a coworker convinced Byers to join her in trying out for the local league, the Monterey Bay Derby Dames. After attending an open skate session at the local rink (and using crappy rental skates), Byers was hooked. She went home and immediately ordered a pair of skates to call her own (Riedell 265s, in case you’re wondering). She successfully tried out for MBDD and began working her way through the league’s Fresh Meat program.

One of my first times skating at the Monterey rink!

However, a few weeks into her training, Byers learned that she would be moving to New York City. With only a few months of skating under her belt, Byers tried out for the Gotham Girls and was invited to callbacks. When she did not make the final cut, Byers skated with Gotham’s rec league and tried to find other opportunities to skate as much as she could. The following summer she also found a home at Suburbia Roller Derby and skated with them for several months before trying out for the Gotham Girls again. This time, Kristen was accepted as part of their 2012 Fresh Meat class. WOO!

The lovely ladies of my GGRD Rec League Level 2 class.

Athletic Background

While Byers has always had a competitive edge, team sports were never really her thing. Prior to roller derby, her most athletic endeavor was spending two seasons with the Glassmen Drum & Bugle Corps.

Rehearsing with the Glassmen. Don't tell me this doesn't look hardcore.

Bio

Byers Remorse was born and raised in Michigan, where she attended college and studied Digital Design & Rhetoric. After graduation, she moved to California for 2 years before making her way to NYC. She currently works as a web designer for a local government agency. When she’s not skating, Byers enjoys reading, writing, and spoiling her dog.

Awards

Suburbia Roller Derby – 2011 Meat MVP

Likes

nail polish, proper grammar, manual transmissions, sour patch kids, sushi, bubble tea, letterpress, the color green, listening to Christmas music starting July 25

Dislikes

red meat, long commutes, single-ply toilet paper

I decided to celebrate Valentine’s Day by providing you with a brief wedding planning update:

• Venue is booked
• Photographer is booked
• Photobooth is booked
• DJ is booked
• Wedding dress has been purchased
• Bridesmaid dresses have been purchased
• Hair appointments have been scheduled

I also started designing our invitations. These will also be used as a starting point for our other paper goods (save the dates, menus, etc.). I will need some feedback at some point during this process, so let me know if you’d like to help! We still have lots of decor and other DIY projects to get started on…*sigh*

In other news, training with GGRD is going really well. The draft happens in just two weeks; at that point, I will be placed on one of the four home teams (Brooklyn Bombshells, Queens of Pain, Bronx Gridlock, or Manhattan Mayhem). That means my first bout will happen in a month or two. SO EXCITING!

Also, my derby name is officially being submitted to the registry (this is BIG NEWS as it has taken me SO LONG to get to this point)! I will officially be Byers Remorse of Gotham Girls Roller Derby, and my number will be 13% APR.

So after all of the excitement in mid-December, I drove to Michigan with Nigel and Nacho on December 23. It was a long drive, as usual, made longer by the fact that I was the sole driver, but Nacho was a great travel buddy and stayed awake chatting with me the whole time. We did make the mistake on the Ohio turnpike of holding out for Panda Express (we really wanted to get lunch there), only to find NONE! I swear they used to have Panda Express restaurants in the highway oases on I-80…but perhaps I am confusing them with the ones on the way to Chicago/Wisconsin. Oh well.

So after a less than fulfilling late lunch at Burger King, we rolled into Fenton, where Corner awaited our arrival. He flew to Michigan from Ohio that afternoon since he had been in Bethel for another 4 weeks of work.

As usual, we went to Grandma’s house for Christmas Eve.

Grandma's Christmas tree

I received a lot of great gifts. Mom made me an awesome Michigan State quilt and throw pillow using my old Spartan Marching Band trumpet shirts. I also received a Kindle Touch from Corner’s Aunt Koreen, a Jawbone UP wristband from Corner’s parents, and the Urban Decay 15th anniversary eyeliner set from Mom & Les. I received many others gifts as well, but I’m feeling too lazy to list them all out right now, so those are just the highlights.

We took care of a lot of wedding-related errands while in Michigan. We visited the ceremony/reception venue and met with the photobooth company. I went dress shopping with Mom, KC, and Kathy. The bridesmaids dresses are ordered and perhaps the most exciting news of all is that I FOUND MY DRESS! I don’t want to say too much about it and spoil the surprise, but I will say that it is NOT white and it makes me feel like a Hollywood starlet. I can’t wait for it to arrive (in 5–7 months…who knew these things took so long?)!

I didn’t get a chance to skate while in Michigan, but I did go to 5 of Abby’s fitness classes with Mom (kickboxing core, body vamp, spin, and 2 Zumba classes).

Corner and I welcomed 2012 by eating a 4-course meal with wine pairings at the Fenton Winery with Mom, Les, and Adam. Blackberry merlot…YUM! 2011 was such a great year and I can’t wait for this year to top it!

It also snowed a bit while we were in Michigan.

Snow in Fenton

Meanwhile, it still hasn’t snowed much here in New York. I was thoroughly enjoying the mild winter weather, then it reached 18 degrees on Sunday and it was freeeeeeezing! I went out and bought Nike Therma Fit tights for those cold derby practices at the Crashpad.

And in closing, happy birthday to KC!!! How is my baby sister 21 already?!

Today I arrived home from work to discover that Nigel had opened his Christmas present. Last night I started packing for my upcoming trip to Michigan; I had gathered up all of the wrapped Christmas presents and placed them in a reusable shopping bag, which I left on top of the coffee table. Nigel’s gift is a new toy and an individually wrapped stick-shaped treat. Well, when I got home today I found his gift bag strewn on the floor. Tissue paper was everywhere. The toy was ignored, but the remnants of the treat packaging were scattered all over the living room.

I was actually on the phone with my mom when I walked in the front door and surveyed the damage. I had just finished telling her to remind everyone at home that they need to hide their dirty laundry when Nigel arrives at Mom’s house on Friday. He is a Houdini dog and can open duffle bags and even pull clothes through the tiny holes in plastic laundry hampers.

Usually, I know better than to leave smelly items within his reach, but today I just forgot.

Here is a picture of the perpetrator (this photo does not show the aftermath of today’s present-opening, but was taken a few mornings ago after he got done rubbing his face around on the comforter).

And yes, Nigel will be getting a haircut while we are in Michigan.

This post could also be titled “The Best Christmas Gift Ever!”

I have been bursting at the seams to share this news with everyone, and now that all of my ducks are in a row, I finally can!

On November 19, I tried out for Gotham Girls Roller Derby for the second time. I think 80-some girls tried out, and about 30 of us were invited to callbacks the following day. I made it to callbacks last year, too, but there was another round of cuts after callbacks, and I was not asked to continue on in the process. This year, however, I was invited to be part of the Fresh Meat pool! So for the past 3 weeks, I attended 3 practices/week with the 20 girls in the Fresh Meat pool. I also got to participate in a scrimmage with a bunch of World Cup skaters from around the world (I was a bit awestruck at the fact that I was sharing the track with Bonnie Thunders, Donna Matrix, OMG WTF, and Fisti Cuffs). What a great night!

It was an amazing experience overall, and I felt like I could see a difference in my skating after just 9 practices.

The final practice was on Sunday — and it was just scrimmaging. I say “just” not because scrimmaging is easy, but because that’s all we did. So the potential Fresh Meats scrimmaged while the coaches stood around in the middle of the track making notes on their clipboards. Nervewracking, for sure.

On Sunday evening, I eagerly awaited the phone call that would determine my fate. Ariel Assault called at 6:19 PM with good news. I am so, so proud to announce that I am one of 13 girls who make up Gotham’s 2012 Fresh Meat class!

Thank you to Bonita for allowing me to borrow her jacket for this shot. Next year at this time, I will have my own. :)

So while I am sad to leave my friends at Suburbia, I am thrilled that I will no longer have a 1.5 hour commute to and from practice. More time spent with Corner + Nigel = happy Kristen.

I can’t wait to skate with the best league in the country. I’m going to learn so much. Who knows where my derby career will go from here?

I just used my lunch break to run up to the library and pick up 5 books that I had placed on hold. My friend Sarah pointed out that the New York Public Library system allows you to find and reserve books online and have them sent to a designated library location, where they can be picked up at your leisure. BRILLIANT. So I am officially working on my Day Zero goals of re-reading the Chronicles of Narnia and the Little House books.

As I walked out of the library, I noticed a dog store next door that looked hip and fairly upscale. I popped in on a whim thinking I could kill some time browsing designer dog toys. And what do I find? A squirrel tail, which I immediately purchased for Nigel.

Allow me to explain: while we lived in California, there was an awesome holistic pet food store that also carried a few toys. Corner and I bought Nigel one of these squirrel tails and he LOVED it. So much so that he chewed the ball portion of the first toy apart after a few months. So we went back and bought him a new one because it had quickly become his favorite toy. Fast forward to now, we’re living in NYC, and we sorely need to replace Nigel’s squirrel tail toy because the elastic that holds the tail piece to the ball is breaking. But I just can’t bring myself to throw it out because, again, NIGEL LOVES THIS THING. So what do I see hanging on the shelf when I walked into the dog store today? SQUIRREL TAILS. I was so excited the two salesgirls must have thought I was crazy.

I’m going to have one excited puppy on my hands when I get home today.

Corner is in Ohio again for the month of December (he actually flies to Michigan on the day that I will be driving to Michigan for the holidays…jerk).

As you may know, Corner does the majority of the cooking in our household, so it’s been interesting for me to figure out what on earth I’m going to eat while he’s gone.

Last week, on the Sunday before Corner left, he helped me prep these freezer-friendly bean and rice burritos. I opted not to freeze them, since once frozen they have to be baked for 35-40 minutes! I don’t have that kind of time…the whole point of prepping these beforehand was so I could rush in the door before or after derby practice and have something ready to go. I stored these in the fridge instead and heated them up in the microwave for about 3 minutes at 50% power. I made sure to flip them over a few times during the process to help alleviate sogginess. I added a bit of hot taco sauce to spice them up a bit. I will definitely be making these again.

I am also a big fan of this baked pumpkin pie oatmeal, which I bake in a small glass baking dish and then distribute into mason jars for serving sizes that are easy to grab and reheat each morning.

Later in the week I made these peanut butter protein balls to stick in the freezer and to eat post-practice. They are pretty yummy, and the taste of the whey protein is pretty well masked (that or I’m just getting used to the taste of whey, haha).

Yesterday, I made this skinny zucchini ziti. It is a crockpot recipe that only takes 2ish hours to cook. Which, come to find, is sort of inconvenient because I had a hard time finding an opportunity to make it (you can’t just turn it on and leave for work…bah!). So once again, food prep was relegated to Sunday afternoon. Anyway, this turned out pretty well, except that the various layers of pasta noodles did not cook evenly. Luckily I don’t really care, and this made a pretty delicious dinner last night (and I have enough left over for at least 3 more meals this week).

I also decided to make my own protein bars yesterday afternoon. I have been trying to keep healthy snacks around since I am always ravenous after aforementioned derby practice. I already had most of the ingredients for these bars onhand. I will say one thing: this was one messy recipe. I ended up with sticky oatmeal all over my kitchen. And after I took the frozen mass out of the freezer, it was hard to cut it into bars. BUT, I did get 20-some pieces that are sized something like a regular granola bar that you would buy at the store, so I should be set on these for awhile.

Upcoming meal attempts will include the following:

• Hummus melts
• Potatoes and peas in red curry sauce

(Notice I don’t cook any meat? The only meat I am willing to use when I cook is ground beef because it doesn’t require any prep…prepping meat grosses me out! So it’s almost like I’m a vegetarian when Corner is gone.)