Trying to get healthy makes me want to scream.

Yes, I’m frustrated today. It will pass My GOAL is to get a list of foods that I can actually eat without having diarrhea. So fun, right? Thanks Crohn’s! Honestly, I was getting by but I could feel my health slipping very slowly and I knew if I didn’t shape up, I would be in a hospital in 5 years cutting out lengths of my intestines because I had damaged them beyond belief.

So this week, I was committed! I was actually committed last month but it only lasted for a few minutes. I’m much more committed now

Getting help from the awesome Pam on Primal eating and amazing supplements to take, was the first step. I invested in some Glutamine powder (very pure stuff – shoot it in water) and started a batch of bone soup. I felt a LOT better drinking a cup of that every day. However, I was still cheating here and there. Oh, and there was that quick trip to Vegas for John’s 65th birthday party last Saturday and Sunday… The vodka at Red Square Mandalay Bay continues to be divine. Just sayin’.

Is this the coolest picture ever? Thanks iPhone!

So I got my willpower together and with the amazing daily emails from the guys at SCD Lifestyle, I started on the SCD diet to attempt to figure my safe foods and maybe, just maybe, take back some foods I have not been able to eat for months due to leaky gut. Eggs, I’m talking to you!

I have to say that Steve and Jordan from SCD Lifestyle are freaking amazing. They are always on their Facebook page answering questions, they respond to your panicked emails the same day, and are super nice guys. Their SCD Diet book is also amazing, I highly recommend it.

Anyway. The last two days I have been eating:

- Chicken broth with chicken meat and pureed carrots mixed in
- Welch’s Grape Juice (no additives) diluted in water
- Grape Jello (from the juice)
- Grass fed hamburger meat patties
- Pureed carrots (hello baby food!)

And I’m totally worse. haha. I think it’s the gelatin and possibly the carrots. Thanks body. I love you too!

So this is just a little vent about my journey. Once I figure out my ‘safe’ foods I can continue to expand them but the only way to get safe foods is a lot of mixing and matching and trying ONE and only ONE food every four days.

I just had a banana. I know they are safe for me. This really makes me want to have a big cheese pizza with a Pepsi since I know I can eat those too. Besides that fact that wheat is the devil and Pepsi cleans toilets.

Ok, ok, I’m strong! Just a little vent!

Woohoo! I bought shares of APPL (Apple) yesterday after their huge 5 day slump and today it’s up 5%! I bought at $592.90 and it closed at $609.70 today. I love Apple so I think I will hold on to that.

I also bought BNNY (Annie’s – don’t you LOVE their organic products!?) a few days after it IPO’d at $38.042 and sold at $42.806, so that was a quick 10% profit.

Don’t worry though. Due to the slump in the last two or three weeks, most of my other picks are all down! haha! They will come back up. At some point. Maybe.

It’s fun little wins that make it so exciting though.

KO (Coke) is also up 8% in their profits and up 2% today alone after their earnings call.

I couldn’t let the holiday go by without my favorite joke!

“Who is our President again?”

“Remember? You know who it is.”

“Oh yea. Obama.”

“Yep.”

“He’s a boy.”

“He is a boy. But the President could be a girl too.”

“No! It’s a boy. It has to be a boy.”

“No, honey, the President can be a woman. Hillary Clinton was almost going to run for President. We just haven’t had a President yet who is a woman. You could be the next President, you know.” I start to feel like I’m getting on a soap box and am unsure of how much to say. 

“No. I’m going to be a cook when I grow up.”

“You would make a great cook.” Once I teach you how to boil water that is… I change the subject. Better to quit while I’m ahead. 

***

Reading this made me think of that conversation we had in the car a few weeks ago.

There’s women, and there are people who wear a bunch of fucking makeup.

*

Maybe that’s the ticket: Telling her to just please ignore all the shit she’s going to hear about how to be a lady, and just focus on being an interesting, good and cool person, and to view the rest of it as the equivalent of an amusing app you can download for fun -not the cornerstone of an actual identity.

****

It’s figuring out how to get that focus on the interesting, good, cool, loyal, and nice attributes and not that crappy stuff. Yes, we give her barbies. We also give her Lego’s. Pink, sparkly ‘made for girls’ Lego’s, but still. I hardly ever wear makeup around her, I try NEVER to use the word ‘fat’ in her hearing, and I try to make sure she is being thoughtful and kind to her friends and family.

I hope it’s working. I’m crazy proud of the person she is becoming and can only hope it continues to get better.

One of the most important aspects is the school she is currently in right now. A private school. An expensive private school but I hope that investment will pay off.

Reading “A Teacher’s Open Letter to her 8th Grade Students” gives me chills. We already know that the testing is a complete and utter joke in public school.

What I learned is that the test is also criminal.

**
All that matters, it turns out, is that you cite two facts from the reading material in every answer. That gives you full credit. You can compose a “Gettysburg Address” for the 21st century on the apportioned lines in your test booklet, but if you’ve provided only one fact from the text you read in preparation, then you will earn only half credit. In your constructed response—no matter how well written, correct, intelligent, noble, beautiful, and meaningful it is—if you’ve not collected any specific facts from the provided readings (even if you happen to know more information about the chosen topic than the readings provide), then you will get a zero.

**

I felt a force that wants you ignorant and pliable, and that needs you able to fill in the boxes and follow instructions.

Continue to question, Ruth Ann Dandrea continues on to say.

Links found through Everywhereist and Lisa Barone’s Weekend links.

Even though my daughter is in Kindergarten, I always enjoy reading what the older classes are doing each week at our school.

The middle school ‘went to jail’ last week and got to sit in on traffic court and then participate in a ‘mock trial’. A lower grade went to the Museum of Tolerance. Another grade is going to Catalina Island for a 3 day trip. The first overnight trips start in fourth grade (up to Sacramento – the parents are welcome to come on that first trip – after that, I think it’s only a lucky few.)

Actually I lied, I don’t really think they are lucky. I usually try and avoid the field trips. Too many screaming kids.

But anyway… I remember being able to go and sleep on the big ship in Dana Point when I was in fifth grade. I think the whole class went on that. We went to Washington DC when I was in 8th (sadly a classmate died from a heart problem during the trip) and that was only a few of us. But while I loved those trips, I know most of those types of things are being thrown out of public school at this time.

I know in Kindergarten we have three, possibly four, actual field trips that they go on. Each year there are opportunities for our kids to get out and explore, question, learn, and become independent. If we continue on to the high school, they have a recommended international travel week where they are required to get community service hours completed. I adore that.

Even if we  move to public school in the next few years, it will be our job to seek out those extracurricular activites that help enrich our child, expose her to the history of the world, and teach her to be a helpful individual.

Extra-curricular activities... She is in the PINK

I personally don’t feel up to the daily task of schooling which is why I’m entrusting it to the school that we are currently enrolled in. Being in California, I feel we have a lot of other options as well. I feel lucky that we have that option and I completely admire so many of the parents at the school who are sacrificing many things to provide that education for their kids.

I feel like I’m constantly justifying the expense to myself. The reason for it. Why shouldn’t they just go to public school? Gah.

It does makes me happy that the HUGE Mega Millions lottery we just had could possibly net our public schools over $100 million. It might save 1,000 teacher jobs and seeing as how I have at least 6 friends who currently have teaching positions? I’m SO happy for them.

I’m also starting to see the public service announcements about the upcoming election for a tax to support schools in California. I want to look very closely at any tax I will say YES to but if it’s for our schools (and ONLY our schools?) then hell yes, let’s go for that!

What other ways can we teach our girls to be interesting and good people?

I guess I need to start by teaching her her how to boil that water.

On Friday I finally did what I have been wanting to do for over two years. Start a stock account for my children!

I opened a brokerage account with Scottrade because I have my personal one with Charles Schwab and I wanted to diversify. Scottrade also has cheaper stock commissions ($7 vs $9 for Schwab) and I wanted to test them out.

As a quick note we trust our financial guru, William Jordan, with all of our retirement investments. I do have an account that I like to ‘day trade’ though because I LOVE the stock market! I highly recommend you talk to William about your retirement needs, no matter how small. His first recommendation? Get 6 months (at least) of savings in the bank. We LOVE him! He is not just the stock market, he is also everything else. I could do a whole post about just him along but I want to talk about my stock picks for my kids.

Brokerage Companies

There are quite a few other brokerage companies so if you are looking to do the same thing, I would investigate a few options. I like Schwab because I’ve been with them for the longest and trust them most.

Tax Implications

There are also quite a few tax implications in setting up a custodial stock account for your children, as well as possibly hindering any financial aid for colleges you may apply for in the far distant future. Do your research!

What To Buy?

Hopefully my account will become active for them both on Monday afternoon before trading ends. If not, on Tuesday then.

I will be buying:

SWNTX – It’s a mutual fund that I have been active in for over a year. I like it as it has a good rating, good payouts, and keeps going up!

COP – You need a good oil and gas company in your portfolio. COP has done very well for me over the years. I’m usually buying and selling the highs and lows at random points, or where I feel comfortable doing so.

MAT – I have never owned Mattel but for Sam, I have to buy in! The girl loves her barbies. Up 21% YTD, it’s already done very well but I am of the belief the economy is picking up so hopefully it will continue to do well.

LF – I have never owned Leap Frog either and it is up 44% this year but my kids love their Leapsters and I have heard nothing but raves for the Leap Pad so I’m going to try this stock out.

Buying when they Dip:

USB – You need a good bank stock in your portfolio and my step-mom works for USB. It’s a strong bank that is not at the top, didn’t get into big trouble with the mortgage problems in the last year, and has been performing VERY well. For the last few years it would always bounce between $22 and $28 so I would buy and sell accordingly but right now it is at $31! I sold the rest of my stock and am waiting for it to take a small dip before I buy in again. I will be buying a few shares for the kids.

KO – Pepsi or Coke? I used to ONLY drink Coke but now I prefer Pepsi however I like KO as a stock the best! It’s doing well so I’m waiting for a dip.

DIS - Of course I need Disney in their portfolio! It’s only right! I have been buying and selling this stock for about a year and it’s currently at a high for the last year or so. It’s done 15% YTD so far! Go Disney! I’m waiting for it to dip to buy in for the kids.

How to Buy?

I won’t be buying a ton of the 7 stocks above right away.

For SWNTX, I will invest 10% of the full account. Possibly another 10% in another week or so. I can take that money away at anytime but for right now it’s a fairly safe bet. The other three stocks, I will be buying half of what I plan to end up with. That way, if it dips I will buy again in a few weeks. If it REALLY dips I can keep slowly buying in so it leverages my cost. At most I would want to do 4 buys of the total stock. I usually do two, maybe three. Everyone has their own strategies. I’m usually too impatient buying in. With selling, I will sometimes do it a lot more slowly.

For a quick example, let’s say that I want to buy a total of $200 in Leap Frog. It’s at $8 right now.

I would buy 12 shares to start with, plus the $7 commission fee. After a week or two, I will see what it does. If it dips to $7, I might buy another 10 shares. However, if it goes up to $12 suddenly I might just sell! The downside to LF is that there is no dividend.

Let’s take COP. If I wanted to have a total buy in of $500, I need to check out the price. The stock is at $76 from Friday. Eek! I know, it’s high. If I’m only working with $500, then I won’t have too many shares to purchase so I would probably purchase 6 on the first day. Take a chance… It was at $76 on Friday but a week before that it was $78. It was pretty high right now so I need to decide when to buy in. At some point, you just need to jump in. COP has a 3.5% yield, so if I buy $500 now, at the end of a year I will have earned $17. If you factor in the $7 commission, then it would be $10. Not much, but if at the end of that year, the stock was at $86 and I decided to sell, I would have earned $63 (that’s minus the commission for selling the stock as well).

MAT, DIS, and USB are all $30′ish stocks so that is a good place to play at for me with the kids accounts. With SWNTX, you can buy in at any amount (I think!) and it’s always nice to slowly get into that one as well. It creeps up and down and if you do three or four buy-ins over the course of a month, you can average out pretty well.

So, duh, the quick lesson here is try to have stocks with good yields if you are going to keep the stocks for the long haul. I usually have a mixture of both. There are many many times where I have no time to look at stock prices during the day, so I just have to be glad that I’m usually picking strong stocks to begin with.

I do have to say that buying and selling stocks that don’t have yields can be VERY fun as well.

Those are the stocks I’m investing in for my children. I want to find a good book to read them at some point and start explaining this to them over the next few years. I want them to be involved.

I have about 15 other stocks that I go back and forth that I like to play with in another account. I’ll have to list those later!

What is your favorite stock?

I am rereading Hunger Games for the upcoming movie (SQUEE!) and hopefully I should be done by tomorrow because the new Suzanne Brockmann comes out! It looks fantastic and the reviews look great too. Yipee!

My friend Melissa from my online book club did a post of her favorite reads recently. Since we are in the same book club and all the members tend to gravitate to whatever is being posted about… I have recently read ALL of these books and they are ALL fantastic!

The Significance and DarkFever series I actually read in 2012. I need to do a round-up of what I have been loving lately but right now, it’s easier to link to Melissa’s!

I have been on a Young Adult (YA) and Paranormal and Urban Fantasy kick lately. I keep trying to go back to my lovely historical romances but I just can’t get hooked back in. I have a few that are on my reader just waiting for me to open them up though!

I also was selected as an Avon Addict recently which means… FREE BOOKS and free advance reader copies which is so exciting, I can’t even tell you. Two recent reads I loved from Avon are:

The Rancher and The Rock Star - which is an awesome contemporary with… ya, a Rock Star and a Rancher Random combination but it totally works.

Wrong Side of Hell – which just jumped right on my paranormal kick and I LOVED this book. I didn’t realize at first that it was a novella, which is always a surprise at the ending (why did it END? GIVE ME MORE!) but always a good problem to have. I can’t wait to read the rest of the series when it comes out.

I’m struggling through another read and it’s just not clicking with me, which is unfortunate. On the upside, I have tons more to get through so that is always fun!

If you are on GoodReads, come find me but only if you like romance novels! Otherwise, I’ll just completely irritate you instead

Sam & G playing in the living room…

S: I’m sexy and I know it! *dancing and singing*

G: Your sixty!

S: No, I’m SEXY and I know it.

G: No, your SEVEN. No, your TEN. FIFTY. SEVENTY TWO.

S: Oh, GG…

This and other things that I lie about to my three-year old…

I’ve talked about how we have massive potty training issues with my kids. They are both on a full tablespoon of Miralax. GG is on two teaspoons of mineral oil every day too. Potty training has never been pretty.

Anyway. We are going to Florida next month to visit the big Mouse and Harry Potter. We finally told the kids and they are ridiculously excited about it. Despite never seeing the Harry Potter movie, that is the one thing they are most looking forward to seeing. Awesome!

So with GG still asking for a diaper to poop in every day, I told him that we couldn’t bring diapers to Florida.

So now every day I tell him that I really want to buy his ticket to Florida but he has to poop in the potty first. I’m scared this will go the route of all the other threats that I have thrown his way and I will be claiming that I’m going to leave him in the airport as we pack the car.

I have never managed to figure out what the best route to take with him on this. The doctor and tons of extremely authoritative blogs on the Internet (that was sarcasm, folks) have told us to just let him do his thing and not bother him. However, it bothers ME. Argh. It’s not like we are going to have ‘holding it’ issues, we level so much laxative in his system that it has to come out somehow.

I really want this phase to be done. Where is the magic wand that will make that happen?

We switch off bedtimes. I read a story to GG at night and sing him a song.

He’s very demanding at night.

After I sing a song (usually the same one EVERY night - Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree), he has to lay on me and we cuddle.

My favorite time.

Then he has to sit next to me and wrap my arm around him JUST SO. My arm has to perfectly fit around his tummy and nestle in his armpit. After an arbitrary time of his choosing, he tells me that I should just go. That he’s done with me. Before that time, we sometimes chat. I try to ask him about his day. See who he played with. We talk about how he should be good for his wonderful teacher. How he needs to not look at other people while they do their work, how he should look at his own work and finish it and then he can play. We talk about things we are going to do during the week. Sometimes he asks me what I want to talk about. He often volunteers information about his day. I hope we can continue that.

I think every parent knows that it’s easier to listen in the dark. It’s easier for your child to tell you secrets in the dark. It’s easier to close your eyes and think of what you should say, how you should say it, and actually feel like you are making a difference in their lives.

Today we headed out for a Valentine’s dinner with our sweet Valentine’s. On the way there, Sam pipped up with how something VERY sad happened today but she would tell me later tonight. I asked her if it was my turn to put her to bed and she said yes.

When we were getting ready for bed later, she said she had to tell me about something very sad.

After I read Sam her book, I turned off the light and we snuggled.

“Something very sad happened today…” she said. “L* and G* were playing with me today and we were going to play the 3 Musketeers. I thought I was the leader but they said I wasn’t. So I told them ‘Guys, let’s all be the leader’ and they said no. They broke my heart. My heart broke into little pieces.  They fell out of my heart, and fell to the playground in little pieces. I still had O* and N* in my heart but when we got to dinner, they fell out into little pieces too and my heart is all broken. There are no more pieces left.”

It was dark and her tears were falling. We had a rambling talk about friends, and broken hearts, and how they mend. We ended it talking about how her family would always be in her heart and how she just needs some superglue and forgiveness to mend all those pieces together.

Sometimes those talks remind me of times where I should have been better.

The dark is a strange place. Sometimes scary, sometimes sweet. I am starting to love it though. The quiet moments where it’s just me and my child, whispering in the dark.

* Names changed to protect the innocent. Especially knowing they will all be best friends tomorrow.