I just saw Cirque du Soleil’s Kooza under a big-top tent bordered by beach fog and the Santa Monica Pier.

I’d tell you how amazing Kooza was — the beautifully boneless contortionists, the ballet on a unicycle, the audience seamlessly woven into the theatrics –

But I may as well tell you a Porsche has four wheels, an engine, and is designed to drive.

You need to go see it…

This Alexander Wang draped back top is a calm lavender, but the naked back it frames is still stimulating. Maybe it’s our desensitization to the Hollywood Hills’ hills, maybe it’s the vulnerability of an open back, or maybe it’s just the charm of admiring a woman who’s both wildly revealing and a faceless stranger.

And maybe I should just buy this Alexander Wang draped back top…

The draped back on this Juicy Couture cropped sweatshirt is surprising, but only because it’s jarringly out of context.

What’s sexy about poorly fitting gym gear?

Apparently something, with the right label: a twice-the-price Alexander Wang draped back sweatshirt is sold out…

My closet’s pretty clear: made-to-order “KD” monogrammed shirt dresses, a rainbow of solid silk jersey racerback tank dresses (I just had one made in lavender), and plenty of satin slippers…

Consistency is underrated.

But I do like great surprises: something truly unexpected, though it feels fated. Like the backless blouses I started collecting. I especially love this Halston draped back top I bought in pewter: its high necklace melts into its blooming, body-skimming shape — which flutters open into a flash of naked back.

Endings are so important…

I’m on a new diet. Every day I wake up to an hour at the gym, down matcha green tea and fresh fruit for breakfast, and eat VeginOut delivered meals for lunch and dinner — except Sunday.

On the lord’s day, while in Giuseppe blue satin slippers and Marlies Dekkers panties, I consume a bag of Uncle Eddies vegan cookies and flip through Helmut Newton’s Playboy photography.

The key is to eat the cookies until you feel sick, and to stare at Helmut Newton’s photos until those shots of long models’ legs begin to slice the “sur” out of “surreal.” Like Newton’s play of gleaming glam and subconscious camp, it’s all about balance.

And Oscar Wilde said moderation is fatal thing…

This Swissco glass nail file will last you for years and file your nails smoother, faster, than any four-sided nail buffer.

Or a back…

This Salvador Dali perfume bottle, if you believe its seller, looks and smells as good as when it was created in 1985. With a frosted glass nose and a Dali-signed pair of lips, the real appeal is the Salvador Dali-designed perfume bottle, though the scent is supposedly as charming, and picked by Dali: a blend of rose and jasmine, the rose celebrated Mrs. Dali’s rose garden, while Dali wore a sprig of jasmise behind his ear as he believed the flower to be a hallucinogen.

So why do I hate such a charming piece of art? I can’t figure out how to justify buying this Salvador Dali perfume bottle, since I’ve been stuck on a non-transferable perfume for years. Though for forty bucks, who cares…

Usually called the Cartier “Dali” watch, Cartier’s melted watch is really the Cartier “Crash” watch, and Salvador Dali had nothing to do with the design, though he’d appreciate the twisted story:

“A vice president from the Cartier offices in London was involved in a fatal car crash. A fire ensued and the occupant along with his watch was caught up in the flames… “melting” the watch on his wrist, a Cartier Bagnoire Alongee, which is shaped like an elongated oval. The watch being melted and mangled took on the shape of a surrealistic watch from a Dali painting… Cartier found this “watch design” inspiring, and decided to introduce is as a new design, as a tribute to their fallen colleague.”

Cartier “Crash”/”Dali” watches are rare, though they had a few runs: first in the 1960s, 300 18K gold pieces were made in 1991, a special platinum edition was made in 1993, and Cartier re-released the “Crash” watch as a ladies’ diamond dress watch. The last edition of the Cartier “Crash”/”Dali” watch comes in 18K yellow, white, or rose gold. The rose gold “Crash” watch is the most choice: it’s set with rare, rose diamonds. Even if you can find one, the rose gold Cartier “Crash” watch retailed for $73,000…