Equilibrium

Finding the Balance in your soul.

2011-06-22T16:59:00.004+08:00

Some of you will know that I run a pretty busy schedule. Week in, week out, I run sessions, conducting R&D, doing program designs, brainstorms, innovation, execution, attend meetings, perform social runs, monitor online trends, make time for my family and girlfriend, etc etc etc.

At times, the scheduled led lifestyle can get pretty blinding.

Then it slowly begins to disorientate you, and the disillusion you and makes you jaded about everything.

So I asked myself how do I find the balance in my soul to keep going forward?

I took a retreat check last week to find some peace for my inner soul, a portion of me that has been raging and screaming for help, for air and for some peace. During the retreat, I gathered with many men like minded in spirit and in character. Men on a journey to transform their nation, and reform lives.

During that process, I discovered something inside me I haven't seen for years. A sense of authentic broken courage.

I called it the ABC. Getting schooled by going back to basics.

1. Find some Authenticity in everything you do. Don't do things for the sake of doing it, don't do it for the numbers, do it because you have an authentic reason to do so. If you need to do it for the sake of doing it, then find a better reason somewhere deep inside instead of just following orders blindly.

2. Be Broken about why you're doing what you're doing. Too many of us here are working jobs that have no meaning other than for the sake of money. I discovered during the retreat I have to be Broken about my work. It's not just about loving what you do and the whole stay hungry, stay foolish saga. It's about knowing the work you do brings home more than just the money. It helped my heart and soul greatly to know that there was so much more to what I do in the office.3. Find Courage in the face of adversity. Heroes are borne because they know how to hang on in the battle line for just another moment longer. There'll be times when work sucks, and the whole environment just isn't working. That the time we need to know, we need to learn how to hang in there. Too many people in our generation today quit before the going even gets though. There's no way for us to hang in there if we never learn how to develop perseverance.

There's an irreducible minimum in all these. To find balance for our souls, we must understand that life is a seesaw. We need to find the ability to balance between the things in our lives. And the only way we will ever know how to do that, is to continously learn as we journey, and as we learn how to adapt to the scenarios.

But the best is when we know what keeps us down, and the things that lift us up.

Balance is finding, knowing and understanding that life is a seesaw.

Yes Life iOS

2011-05-15T23:49:00.002+08:00

So a few days back I was at the launch of the Yes Life iOS application for the Apple product series, which includes the iPhone, iPod, iPad, iPoo, iPokai, etc.

Was a fairly interesting gathering for the bloggers, twitterers and social networkers.

Definitely was quite a n00b moment for me honestly.

When I got to the Nat Geo center in Lot 10, I was pretty stoked to bump into Sivin Kit at Lot 10, who happened to be going to the launch as well. And guess what he was doing?

ROFL - he was buying an iPad 1 64GB for his kids to mash up! What an awesome dad!! =)

Anyways, we got there yadayada, and got orientated to sit down for the event. I was at the tablet with saimatkong, smashpop, yogaretnam, and of course sivinkit and larryleefamily. All of them established bloggers, twitterers, social networkers and entrepreneurs. I was a total nobody there for sure! And I found it quite hilarious when Tan Sri Dato' Francis Yeoh came over to our table and said hi, and when he shook my hands he said my glasses are really nice. =P

Most of the even circled around the address speech and Wing K. Lee's technical speech. Was pretty heavy for the night, especially when us hungry peeps were expecting to be fed first thing. Haha. We made it through the night though and were eventually fed.

So, what's Yes Life for the iOS all about?

Basically, it's an application that allows you to use your apple products to send/receive calls and messages. Think Skype, but not exactly Skype - and just go here for more information.

I felt it was pretty innovative the way the designed the architecture of the program, application and system. Won't dive into technical details here. But essentially, you can get an "internet" number on your phone, and as long as you're connected to the web, you can send/receive calls and messages.

Flat rate, worldwide, RM0.09 cents a minute, etc etc etc. Read the details at the here and here.

It's great if you're calling people around the world who don't have skype. But most people are pretty tech savvy and do have Skype, Viber, etc, so it goes down to the wire for me. It's great though like I said if you need to call overseas to people who don't have access to Skype, Viber and all those functions.

I felt it was particularly good with some of the plans that Yes4G offers, especially the plans that give you free minutes and SMS'.

You can find more details about these Value Pack for RM 68 and RM 150.

Best bits about these value packs are the fact that unused data, minutes and sms' DO roll over to the next month IF you top up before the 30 days are up. Which is really pretty awesome because you could end up accumulating tons of minutes and SMS and even data. Which you could use to spam frenzy your friends for kicks or something.

So, now your apple crap can make noise. Not bad I suppose. You get to keep your SIM number, while at the same time carry around a web number that could serve a few alternate purposes. People can also call you back at the same number, not sure if you can use the web number and call your sim number all from the same device though. That would be kinda hilarious. Heh. =P

So... will it be a game changer?

This would be really difficult to say. They do have plenty of competition still. Though Yes4G has come a long way in a short 6 months, and have done really well, there's still more to do. They still have to find a niche in which they can compete effectively versus Skype, Viber, Google Voice, etc. And at the same time, protect the home ground front of their 4G penetration. Once LTE hits Malaysia, it's a whole different story. And as it is, data competition is crazy sweating it here already.

At the end of the night, they had a small competition with some iPad 2's as giveaways, I was so darn close to winning one. Just a simple spelling one letter mistake which is definitely caused by the stupid apple autocorrect.

STUPID AUTOCORRECT!!

My iPad 2. The Apple, the Bollocks, and the Crap.

2011-04-30T20:31:00.002+08:00

So, I finally got my iPad 2.

Yes, you read that right, the Android buff got an iPad.

Now, it's not about fanboism, fanaticsm, or whatever else you wanna call it. It's really about doing what is logical from an ROI point of view. A few posts ago, you would've read some of my thoughts on which tablet to get. And more importantly, why you should opt to get it.

So, as per those arguments, I decided I would go ahead with getting an iPad 2 even though there are some other really excellent tablets out in the market right now such as:

1) The Motorola Xoom (which is due to be out in Malaysia next week)
2) The Asus Transformer
3) The Galaxy Tab
4) The HTC Flyer
5) The 2309582309582 other tablets.

So why did I go with the iPad 2? Read my previous post.

I got the 16GB WiFi iPad 2. Why?

First of all, pricing was a determinant. At RM1499, it's a steal to get your hands on a dual core tablet. Second, space is not an issue because all my media files are not going to be on my tablet. So for all those saying you'll need space, just have better space management.

I've got an iPod Nano and a Nexus One. Both infinitely better in terms of handling music. I'm not gonna carry my iPad around to listen to some music. Video files, at 700mb, with 14GB free space after OS, that's 20 movies. 20 movies x 1.5 hours = 30 hours of movies. Is your flight REALLY that long with you awake? Lol.

Applications wise, let's say the average app is huge at 200mb. That's still 70 apps. What do you need 70 apps for. Rofl. Yes, of course you can have as many apps as you want, but you don't need to keep them all. =) Like I said, better space management!

Think about it.

RM1499 for 16GB WiFi.

RM1799 for 32GB WiFI.

That's RM300 for 16GB worth of extra space. Is it worth it?

RM2099 for 64GB WiFi.

That's RM200 for each 16GB increase from the 16GB base storage. Better, but you're now forking out RM600 for 48GB worth of storage.

Hence, my opinion of only needing 16GB worth of space. :) I haven't even hit 1GB yet. Lol.

Y U NO GET 3G!?

This one is killer simple. WiFi tethering through my beloved Nexus One. Plus, getting a 3G iPad will cost RM400 more. And, you'll need to dedicate a 3G sim card to it. Which could easily just go into a MiFi device instead at RM400.

And why an iOS tablet instead of an Android tablet like I fanaticize over?

Simple. I get the best of both worlds.

As much as I would much prefer an Android tablet, an Android is still an Android. It will be at least 95% the same. Which means my benefit will only be 5% at best. The iOS on the other hand, is something I've never owned, and will give me access to the best and worst of both worlds.

Now, Apple claims The Apple"experience" is so called intuitive.

Bull.

First thing it tells me to do - connect to iTunes. Fine. Then I punch up the Appstore and have the most frustrating experience searching for apps. They don't turn out right, they give me iPhone apps, the "go to the previous page button" is everywhere for everything. Frustrating. I go around, and everything is messy and incoherent. Nothing is fast, simple and straightforward.

The Apple experience is not intuitive. If you've ever used an Android phone, you'll understand. Android's market system is intuitive. Very intuitive. In fact, you could start up an Android tablet WITHOUT needing a PC.

The iPad is a POST-PC item. True, it was never designed to replace your PC. But neither should you need one just to start it up. Imagine if you don't own a PC. You start it up, and whoaaaaa, suddenly you need a PC to log into iTunes, blablabla.

The Bollocks.

Definitely has to be the camera. It's so bad, I could draw better than it can take pictures. Everyone knows it should've been better, easily could've been better and Apple should have made it better. No, we're not asking for 1428304928MP lenses. Just a simple 3MP would have made this amazingly better.

The Crap.

I'm disappointed with the weight still. Sure, it's not the lightest, it's actually pretty manageable, when you hold the entire thing well (Yes Steve, I know, I'm holding it wrong). But when you're using it, it seems somewhat awkward or clunky as I'd call it. Like balancing the weight by hanging on to the bezel/side just doesn't cut it for me.

I can understand now why some people think of it as too thin. Though that's a little poorly argued.

The other thing I'm not particularly used to is how the apps work. Like, there's no way to shut them down or close it. Let's say I open Google and search for something, if I close the browser and restart it, it's where I previously was. Which is fine really. But sometimes I'd just like to start over by "exiting" the application.

Other than that, everything feels great. The new A5 chip makes everything fast and snappy. Games run well. Applications don't give me issues.

These opinions are also very subjugated to the fact that my iPad is not yet jailbroken. Which will happen ASAP. I believe that will change some of my thoughts and experiences thoroughly.

All in, it was still a very good buy for me. I have little use for cameras. After all, I know they aren't meant to take photos with. I can live with minor differences between application handling. Money's worth, definitely there. Looking forward to JailBreak tech now. To make it a little more like Android. :)

Spiritual Friendships

2011-02-10T00:43:00.001+08:00

Simple laughter, sharing stories, having a meal together, making plans, finding life better when shared with others.

An apt reminder to smile.

What Tech Tablet Should You Get?

2010-12-01T22:48:00.001+08:00

I've been in the market for a new tablet recently. And I must confess, I've spent dozens of hours reviewing tablets, looking at 'em in the shops, playing with a few of 'em whenever I get the chance to, and of course, gleaming over every piece of news concerning tablets.

I've got a quick decision making process for those of you who are interested in considering what type of tablet should you be getting.

Let's quickly go over a few basics first.

1. Make sure the screen is capacitative and not pressure.

2. Refer to 1.

That is all. Lol.

Ok, now with that out of the way, we can go through the actual process.

Firstly, check with yourself, what kind of phone are you using, or planning to get.

If you're using an Android already, I would suggest getting an iPad.

Now, why in the world will a staunch Android supporter like me say this? Simple. I'm not just an Android Fanboi. I'm a consumerist. And a wise one at that.

Get an iPad. Why? Because then you'll have the best of both worlds. Being able to show off your iPad, getting it connected via wifi through your Android wifi hotspot tether, bla bla bla. Wow. Jealous much I hear. Haha.

Unless of course, you absolutely need Flash. =) Then you've got only one option. Bring the Terminator home with you. Heh. =P

If you own an iPhone, get an Android tablet.

If you happen to own a low-end Android phone though, it might make sense to get an Android tablet to fully experience the power of a high end device. I repeat, might make sense, discretion advised.

Why?

Again, it only makes sense to get the best of both worlds. By doing so, you'll have variation in the stuff you have, they might not be 100% compatible, but heck, I'd rather have versatility and some difference in the apps and games that I'll be using.

To be honest. If you own an Android, and get an Android tablet, that'll be like, getting a giant Android phone. Ridiculous. Likewise for the iPhone and getting an iPad. It's like, giant iPod/iPhone. You'll feel that sense of waste really quick when you realize you've got the same games on the same platform, just on a different screen size. Utter nonsense.

-

So... should you get the iPad now?

Malaysia just launched it and the prices are every where, go Google it.

As of this very date. the iPad is considered to be in mid-cycle/near-end-cycle. Which means it's going to be replaced within approximately 6 months time on the international market. If you think you can live with the somewhat hefty weight, the backdated A4 processor chip, the screen resolution and lack of cameras, by all means, go ahead and get it. Or if you're plain desperate and have money to throw away, then I have no idea why you're reading this, but ok, go get one too. Lol.

I've decided I'll wait because the next revision of the iPad (2nd generation) will most likely have front and back cameras. How do I know this? Simple. Apple wants to push FaceTime as their next "new big thing". Silly, but that's how they operate. There have also been some patents going on with carbon fibre tech which is also a sign that the new iPad should be lighter. There's much speculations, but the newer iPad should at least contain these two features. And hopefully a retina display screen.

-

Now, for the Android tablets. Wow. There's like, a bajillion of them out there in the market. How do you figure out what to get?

Here are my recommendations as an avid Android user.

Don't skimp on the money. Get something practical, and that will last.

First of all, make sure the tablet has a TEGRA 2 chipset.

Why? It's technical, but in plain terms, it means the tablet is bad ass and can go get thrashed by Chuck Norris and it'll still be working at the end of the day. Not to mention, it'll also be able to run on some really mean and demanding games that will be released shortly after.

Make sure the processor is around 1ghz.

Android is a multitasking functional platform. Having the speed ensures that you can push the system to the max and nothing will go wrong with it. Lower is still alright, but you'll definitely see its effects in the long run.

Make sure there's approximately 512 RAM.

The RAM allows the Android OS to cycle through stuff. Again, very technical, not gonna go into details, but basically this will give the Android OS room to hold apps, multitask faster, and again, keep the maximum limits at the very top so that your user experience will be flawless.

Try and get a unit that has the latest updated OS, which should be 2.2 and above.

Android 2.2 onwards has a Just-In-Time complier. Better known as JIT. It's a core process that speeds up the Android unit by 30-40 times whilst it is processing stuff.

If you're a root user like myself, and you know what to do, you can just ignore this, root the set, update it with a custom Mod and be on your way to merry land.

What kind of screen real estate are talking about?

Screen size. It's a very personal preference. 7 inch, 8 inch, 9 inch, 10 inch, 11 inch? Decide on the form factor early, because you'll be stuck with it for a good long time and if you hate looking at it. Wow. It's gonna be a real hurt in the gluteus.

-

Lastly, ask yourself one more question when it comes to buying any kind of tablet.

What do you need it for?

Work? Play? No idea? Photos? Wannabe?

It's an important question.

Many people tend to have some sort of laptop or computer already.

Please understand, a tablet up until today, has never been able to replace a laptop yet. It might be able to replace a netbook though. But definitely not a even a proper low-end laptop.

If it's for games, I'd suggest reconsidering getting any tablet. And when you say work... what kind of work are we talking about? And I for one, definitely feel that a tablet is not for stage/public presentations. No one is going to be impressed by what you hold. They wanna hear what you're saying and presenting.

A tablet is meant to be an intermediate unit between your smartphone and the laptop. It serves a very specific function. And only you will know the answer to this one.

Happy Christmas shopping. =)

YES4G review and the current Malaysian Internet Scene.

2010-11-30T18:01:00.001+08:00

So, I've decided that I'll update my blog with a little review on the whole new "4G" network in town.

First of all, let's get a few things straight. There are pros, there are cons. There will never be anything perfect. In all essence, the things going on are pretty fair. As consumers, the most important thing we need to be equipped with is customer knowledge. Don't blame people if you didn't do your part to find out more.

As far as the published "First 4G" in Malaysia... it's not true. YES4G actually runs on the WiMAX technology, not the true 4G spectrum. It's a little misleading, but it's very technical. Still, at the end of the day. It's not true 4G. Just so you know.

And when they say your YES credits don't expire, they actually do.

30 days after your invoice billing, your line gets suspended. 60 days from there, your line gets terminated. All in, 90 days grace period, same like every other telco in town. They just don't say it.

You also need to spend at least RM30 every month in order to keep the line active. Which means, you need to use at least 1GB every month.

Terrible advertising.... sigh.

Also, one thing very important that hasn't been mentioned is the actual charging block. I mean, c'mon, how are you charging me if I only use like 5kB or something like that!?

Jeez.

Ok. Done with the little rant. Haha.

Now, I'm a very connected user. I've got a 3G mobile data plan for my Nexus One, DiGi Broadband Internet Ambassador, and now I've also said yes to the new YES4G mobile network. Most of you will probably have heard about the hype the YES4G has created, but at the same time, heard about the crapsite they have, and also the lackluster customer service being provided.

I've decided, after many calculations, that I would try out the new YES4G.

I've been using it for 2 days now, and from what I can tell, the network is stable and extremely fast. And as far as I know, early adopters are benefitting from incredible speeds. I won't even bother to show you a speedtest because I don't think speedtests are a good reflection of actual normal usage.

From my daily use, I hit an average of 500kB/s downloads and the highest I've seen thus far is 1.1MB/s. That's crazy fast. Like. Lightning crazy. Haha.

Most of my web surfing has been unhindered, seamless streaming, rapid downloads and you get the point. It's fast. Very fast.

On the flip side. The YES4G website has truly been a crapsite. You can't get any information out of the site. You're better of checking out blogs and forums for more information. They've been working on it, and I can see, from the past few days, that the links have been cleaned up a little and navigation has been improved. Was pretty cheesed off not being able to find out any information from the website.

Soyacincau has neatly put up a very good post on broadband price comparisons as well as the YES4G rebate chart.

If you're considering switching to the YES4G network, I suggest you take a long hard look at the charts and your monthly bills before making a decision.

If you're planning to make the switch, you should only do so under several circumstances:

1) You're not a heavy user. Hence, your monthly bandwidth is between 1GB and 3GB. Anymore than this and you're actually going to end up paying a lot more for your bill. And I mean, a lot more.

2) You tend to be mobile more than not. And probably also do not like to share your line.

If you're the heavy downloader type, this network is definitely not for you. You will be paying a bomb and feeling like somebody just put you into a blender and flushed you down the toilet bowl. Stick to UniFi, and if your usage is above 3GB, you should stick to whatever current plan you're using. It's probably not as expensive as the YES4G network will be in the end.

For me, I decided to make the hop for a few small simple reasons.

I think I can save more money because I'm a moderate user. Which means my monthly usage is between 1GB and 3GB every month. No sense paying RM68 every month for my 10GB quota under DiGi which I do not fully utilize. Paying for what I use makes so much more sense. And of course I'm paying for the speeds as well.

I like the whole idea of seamless and smooth web surfing. Especially with Youtube.

I prefer to be able to download small files lightning quick rather than to download huge files. Besides, I'm not a heavy downloader anyways, no movies, music and stuff to download.

I like the concept of pay as I use because if I use less, I pay less. Pay less = save more.

Heavy downloaders should stick to the use of UniFi and Streamyx. Your price is capped, and so is your speed, but at least you have the quota to follow through on.

Seeing as most people already have internet access, early adopters of th YES4G network will benefit in the long run. The system is stable, the line is speedy and the coverage is huge.

The only downside of it is that it can be pretty pricey (do refer to the pricing charts above). They have issues with their login portals, navigations, customer service followup and give you a little sense of unease when it comes to the block charges and operations.

If you're planning to get YES4G, I'd suggest you pick up all your information online through bloggers and networkers, the customer service over at YES4G isn't extremely helpful and neither is the website.

Then, once you're done, you can sign up at the website or finalize your subscription and purchase at the retail store or something.

I didn't finalize my purchase online. I went to a nearby retail shop in 1 Utama and did my subscription and modem purchase there. Not sure if you can get the modem rebate online, but you can definitely get it at the retail outlets.

Last, but not least, make sure you're in a area that's heavily covered. Being on the fringes can cause complications because the network system has a self correcting range coverage deployed. Which means, the coverage shrinks or grows depending on the amount of users locked onto a particular tower. This is true for all network types, including 3G. The downside of the YES4G network is that it has no backup network like EDGE or something else to fall back on.

You're either in or out.

Facets of Life.

2010-10-24T12:01:00.000+08:00

I know I haven't been posting like for the longest time ever.

But I do need to rant a little.

Currently, I feel like I'm in the midst of a very turbulent time in my life. I don't understand some of the difficulties and issues I'm running through. No matter how I look at it, it seems like every exit requires a tremendous amount of effort and even skill.

Hard pressed on every side, but not crushed. Struck down, but not abandoned.

I've always told myself that no matter how many time I fall, I gotta get up again and keep going. Every collapse is a reason to rebuild. Every failure is another reason to succeed.

But this time round. I just feel like lying down. Staying down.

There's so much more to life, I know that all too well. But, there's also only so much of me and so much of my energy to go around. This year, has been more than a year of stretching for me. It's been an endless marathon.

I think I'm burning out.

I feel the dragging and the pressure getting to my core being.

I need a little time off by myself to just go and enjoy the sceneries. Take a look at the wonders of life. Recapture my thoughts in reading books, in the journaling I loved to do. A place where Social Media can't connect with me. A place where Games cannot immerse me in an alternate reality of escapism.

A place where my heart can just be still.

Pray for me if you're reading this.

Podcasting.

2010-03-25T22:27:00.002+08:00

Hmm. I've been considering doing some podcasting.

Anyone with any tips on how to get started and stuff? Drop me a comment or some links! =)

Hi UCSI!

2010-03-10T18:03:00.000+08:00

Just a quick shoutout to the peeps from UCSI! Thanks for allowing me to have a great time attending to you via the Cyberwellness workshop! You were an awesome crowd and I'll be looking forward to coming back again to teach further! =))

Don't be shy and drop a comment/note/tweet/email/fb/etc/etc/etc aight! =))

Nexus One, the second 3 days.

2010-02-02T14:46:00.001+08:00

Day Four, Five, Six:
Multitasking is definitely the silent hidden strength of the Nexus One, quietly being able to run multiple programs and apps in the background yet maintaining a steady connection stream with its services. This is the real powerhouse for the Nexus One.

I was able to receive mails, stream my twitter via the very awesome Seesmic, gtalk my way around town, bring up google maps to check out locations and routes, tap into soccer scores, and the list goes on and on and on. What Google really needs to do now is make some kinda battery that charges itself as you use it! Haha.

The past few days have been very much about the apps and maximising the usage on the Nexus One. And multitasking is the perfect way to do multiple things at one go. Especially when you're waiting to load stuff up and could use the extra minutes to type out some email.

I also wanted to get tethering on the Nexus One also, but it seems there was no option for it. A brisk walk through the google and forums made it clear that there was no such option. However, a walk in the Android Market brought up several apps that made it possible... if I rooted my phone.

I've read about rooting the Android OS before and seems really awesome. But I find myself caught in the middle quite a fair bit. On one hand, I'd love to root the Android OS to get superuser permissions and begin flashing new roms and mods into the Nexus hardwires. But on the other hand, I don't really want to lose Over The Air updates for the Android system.

Rooting the Nexus One voids the warranty and gives me lots of open options. But I find there's also more risk, because I'd be relying solely on devs to sort it out. And you never know when something could go wrong with the steps and a lot of the processes are really complicated.

Not rooting the Nexus One, however, gives me a few less options, but it's not that I can't live without 'em. And also because I believe that whatever current issues there are, will be sorted out by Google in the near future. Why? Because Google needs to go all out in terms of beating its competitors in every angle. The first roll out package here is just the tip of the iceberg.

In the end, I've decided not to root the phone, because I've already gotten access to tethering, but only via an app. Let's hope Google will sort this out quickly and then add more into the system. Slight tweaks, stability, more admin options, customization. So far, the Nexus One has been an amazing treat for someone who's been through plenty of other Operating System's.

The Android OS can only get better, and coupled with the Nexus One hardware specs, it's going to be one monster of a beast.

Nexus One, the first 3 days.

2010-01-29T10:45:00.001+08:00

Day 1:
Just got the Nexus One. Unboxing it felt like Christmas morning or Birthday morning for kids scrambling to see what's inside. Haha. Feel of the phone is extremely solid, basic primary setup was extremely efficient and effortless. Took a while to get used to the idea of how the phone multifunctions though. Long presses, short presses, swipes up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A. Didn't sit down immediately to configure the phone and was outta the house, so it felt kinda like a normal phone for a bit. A bit.

Until after I got back, hooked up to the wifi, swapped in the SIM card, configured the APN for 3G.

Downloaded whole bunch of apps. And suddenly. I'm more than amazed by the phone. It's like having a super ultra PA by your side all the time. The functionality. The vision of the Android system is amazing.

However, the phone, without Internet or unlimited data, can be quite a setback. It's definitely a 172% must to have Internet on the phone. Otherwise, it's pretty much like any other phone. But when hooked up the the Internet. Bangbangurded. The phone becomes an epic of a monster.

Speech functions, in depth algorithm functionality, big app store with plenty of choices and growing tremendously, excellent synchronization for contacts. It can get pretty geek though, if you're not really tech savvy it might take a while to setup all the stuff. But once you get the hang of it,

Google does well to take care of everything else. All you need to do is make the first move.

Day one has been good, setting up, downloading some apps. Next thing to discover would be how to get the Nexus One to take me further. After all, it's all about the User Experience. =)

//

Day Two:
Nice, battery lasted the whole of yesterday with average use of the phone. Today I put it through a little more thorough testing with wifi and 3G. Been 6 or 7 hours and battery is at 50%. Decided to plug it into the laptop for charging. I realize the phone charges pretty quick, like you can literally see the numbers move up before as you watch. Haha.

Exploring the phone further today made me really impressed with the algorithm intergration Google has thought of with the phone. With the entire world going the Google Way, it's kinda hard to say that they're not out for world domination. I'm liking it though.

I mean, the Nexus is a perfect example of this. Perfect synchronization with Gmail, auto loads my Picasa pictures, syncs my Google Calendar, amazing resonance with the Google Servers for Google goggles, translator, maps, sky and so on. And all done with a few finger taps. Everything else was automated and flawless. Gmail + Facebook + Contact intergration was beautifully sharp.

Today's test was also a little more along the lines of applications I felt. Considering I'm not an iPhone user, I was very impressed by the endless apps in the Android Market. Though I found it quite funny that all I could search for were free apps. But I'm not complaining, it's not like I'm really going to buy any apps I think. I've downloaded a whole bunch of apps, yet to go through all of them thouroughly. But I like the idea of the Open Source, unlike the bottleneck Apple has. Open Source means we'll get a whole bunch of crap, but it'll also mean more people will be willing to dive into it. More collaboration, more apps, more happy Androiders.

Yet, I've had an issue or two so far. I'm finding it pretty hard to adjust to the keyboard. Perhaps this is due to my HTC Touch HD background with WinMo and pressure screens. I keep pressing the wrong spots and stuff. This might take some time to unlearn and relearn I guess. The Nexus screen is extremely sensitive though. Once or twice I managed to press a "key" without actually touching the screen. And the Back, Menu, Home, Search buttons above the trackball could use some calibirations to be more accurate. Having to press the top half can get a little tricky for other people.

Navigation was the other issue. I do wish I had turn-by-turn navigation outside of the US. I can't even find a way to install Garmin or some other GPS device. GPS is something I kinda rely alot on, and with weak Mobile Internet signals outside the town, this might get tricky in the long run. But that remains to be seen I suppose. Need to figure this one out faster than the keyboard at this point.

These two aside, everything is pretty nifty, notifications are superb, intergration is rock solid. And the speech recognition is a blast to play with.

//

Day Three:
So, yesterday I showed my boss the Nexus One (he's an iPhone user and a Mac freak), and when he says that the Nexus one is better than the iPhone, it really says alot. Especially since he uses an iPhone, a Macbook Pro, and is an Apple fan. Those of us gadget savvy fellas at the office are really impressed with the capabilities of the Nexus One (needlessly said). Especially my boss, he loves how there's so much intergration with the data in the Google servers and how innovative the whole Nexus One really is in terms of hardware and apps.

Guess the Nexus One is really living up to it's name.

Where the phone meets web.

I get this awesome feeling every time I'm online through the Nexus One. It's like being part of this coexistence that the phone and the Internet have, and it's quite the experience.

Almost makes me want to funnel all my emails from work and other inboxes to be channeled towards another gmail account. Almost. It's sounds fun, but I wouldn't want work to follow me around wherever I go. Haha.

Made a bunch of calls yesterday, voice quality is superb. No complaints in this department. Pairing up bluetooth with my headset took less than 30 seconds. Running multiple apps in the background was a cinch for the monster SnapDragon to handle. I did think I found the speaker a little soft though, but I could be wrong considering I was driving my Pajero while testing music streaming. Streaming stuff through the Nexus seems to be really good though. Not too sure if this is due to good 3G signals or having a powerful SnapDragon processor. Perhaps a combination of both?

Also managed to play a bunch of games on the Nexus One too. Robo Defense, Abduction, Jewels, Coloroid, and few more. Games run sleek and easy on the Nexus, colors are brilliantly vivid. Trying not go into the whole hardware review. There's already a ton of 'em online and all brilliantly accurate.

Up next, a more rounded review attempt on the Nexus One. Perhaps someday I'll get to be a gadget reviewer. Honestly wouldn't mind doing that as a freelancer. =)

So... stay tuned for more reviews on the Nexus One over the next few days.

Oh, and yes. Pictures. Lol.

Serenity.

2010-01-12T01:45:00.001+08:00

In my previous post I happened to mention a little something concerning Serenity.

The peace of heart.

The all elusive "holy grail" every person on earth silently seeks. I don't know how to put it into words precisely. Just that underlying desire to find serenity.

It's a choice.

Well, at least that's what I believe in. I had a wonderful conversation with the gf tonight about life and such. And it really brought me to a place of humility and thanksgiving. A conversation about people, expectations, desire, hope, frustrations, disappointments, doubts, faith, and so much more. A conversation that would render any man asunder. Yet, done so lovingly and meekly.

It left me pondering about my own life. And the very future ahead of me. Left me wanting to ask more questions, yet knowing that there would be no answers. Melodramatic rhetoric's? Perhaps. Elusive desires funneled by tunnel vision? Perhaps. The deafening silence that wraps itself around our ears? Perhaps.

I blame the one-of-those-late-night blogging spurs.

Yet when I put it all together, for some reason, there's no logic to having serenity any other way. It is and will always be a single-mindedness choice to acquire serenity. You can't fetch it, build it, make it, conjure it, materialize it, or do anything to bring it to pass but to choose it. I speak to myself about growing in serenity. And that, my friends, requires faith. Requires maturity. Demands much for us in return for its sanctuary and hidden rewards.

This year, growing in serenity for me is about growing in choices. Growing in the choices that I make everyday on a daily basis. Growing in the firm belief in what God has called me to do and what He calls me to do. Growing firm in the maturity that He will be my provider. Growing firmly in faith, hope and love.

Because the promise is that the best is yet to come. And that the glory of the latter house will be greater than the glory of the former house. Because the promise is that I will stand on the Rock of Ages as a conqueror. Because the promise says that I am "more than". Because the promise is that I am called for such a time as this.

So I hold onto these quiet promises, knowing that my provision comes from the One above.

Faith - is thanksgiving in action before anything has even happened.

Thank You God, for taking care of all my provision and my life.

Sidesteps.

2010-01-02T01:02:00.001+08:00

Wow. Where do I begin in order to close 2009?

(I can't even begin to find the jigsaw words in order to close up the past 2 months, November and December).

Let me try anyways, better to give it a shot or I'll never do it.

November and December have always been insane months. Insane for the reason that it's the end of the year smashup where everything just falls together into one single huge crunch that seeks to overwhelm you. But we all know it's a choice as to how we respond to these crunches eh?

To be honest, and perhaps transparent as well. The past 2 months have been pure bliss and stress. I don't know how to put it. There was of course as most of you would know by now, the beginning of a beautiful relationship I now have with a woman aptly wonderful. But I shan't go into details. I like to keep this a little further away from the blog I think. Haha. Pensive indeed.

And then of course, there was Narrowstreet Camp 2009: Impetus.

Most people who come for camp, come for the end result of tireless and sacrificial work. Blood, sweat, tears, the whole lot. I ushered in a huge committee this year, 13 people in total. Working over an estimated 15 meetings 2 months prior to camp. On an average of 4 hours per meeting (there were even a few 7-8 hour ones too). That works out to be approximately 780 man hours put in to make sure camp took flight. If I dare include the hours we worked OUTSIDE the meetings, it may well have exceeded the 1000 man hour mark. Impressive?

Not my credit to take. Do applaud and appreciate the team that made it happen though. They worked endlessly to the core. And please do thank my wonderful gf, who was extremely supportive of me working odd hours, not being able to spend more time with her, who encouraged me, prayed for me, and who was by my side every step of the way.

Love, I couldn't ask for anyone else in this world.

Yet, wasn't me at all.

It was our God who made it work. Made it happen. Held the rain. Pushed away the sicknesses and tiredness. It was God who tugged away at our heart-strings. Calling us back to Him. Putting the value back in worth.

Awesome? He's more than that.

But personally. It was a nightmare for me. The seemingly endless odd hours. The mind boggling thinking. The precision management required. The brain wrecking experiential learning curves I had to consider over and over again. The stress it put on my personal life throughout.

Don't read these wrong. I want you to see the real me. Not the masks I have on.

Inside me, I felt I was crumbling to pieces. Felt so much internal pressure and external expectations. And the fact that right after camp, I would be off on the road for a bit.

Camp was awesome though. Spectacular to the very end. Even with all the slip ups and mistakes, it was worth the 1000 man hours put in. For what? For lives. For souls. For the future...

After two weeks. I'm sitting here in my room alone with my thoughts and feelings. Feeling the rushes fading away into the background, listening to music that's making me emotional for some reason no matter what. Feeling the One who made me coming around to wrap His arms around me in comfort.

I dunno what happened with life the past few months. It's all a blur. A colored hue that I can't seem to make sense out of. A mess that somehow happened but I have no idea how.

Camp came and went. The day after, I was supposed to go for a retreat. That early morning, I came down prepared to leave... only to find news of my grandfather's demise. That took the retreat out of the picture and replaced it with a 3 day trip down to Singapore for the funeral ceremony.

The funeral was very impersonal. My father and I agree on this. I'm going to skip details again. Don't feel like blogging about such a bleak event.

Came back from Singapore and the following day took a trip up to Penang for a break. Was a trip well worth every minute with the lovely gf. Simple break, visited her extended family, rediscovered the beauty of Penang, and quality time with the gf.

Have I mentioned how amazingly wonderful she is?

Came back from Penang, and two days later, the gf flies off for her diving trip. She's still there and will be back soon - I cannot wait for the latter. The morning the gf flew off though, I'm thankful for the best friend who included me to go to Fraser's Hill with other friends.

Thanks bro. The past 10 years have had so much more meaning because of the friendship and brotherhood you extend to me. And life has indeed been an even more incredible journey because of your presence.

The trip served as a wonderful place for me to collect laughters and smiles. A place where I did absolutely nothing but eat, sleep, laugh, and cheer. A place where there was a hike in noise pollution. Ushered in 2010 with Taboo, Monopoly Cards, Bridge, Chor Dai Di, Pictionary, improvised Charades, Wii, and an "extra scene" (inside joke :P).

Was pretty bummed out that the gf wasn't with me though.

Missing her terribly right now and finding catharsis in blogging. See you soon darling. Love you.

Got home today. And just felt over the evening, everything fall off my shoulders. I'm well rested physically. But perhaps mentally I'm tired. But allowing the mind to become idle doesn't make it "rest" per say. I find putting my mind at ease is to give it room to speak out. Hence, one of the reasons for me having a blog.

Thanks Equilibrium, you live up to your namesake. Giving me a place to balance my heart and my mind. The soul and the thoughts. A place to balance my innermost and outermost.

For 2010, I've decided on 4 things.

Scribe, Sage, Serenity, Steelmindedness.

The Scribe, to pen my soul more.
The Sage, as my horizon of higher level mentorship.
The Serenity, for my heart as I learn to lead in love, and love in lead.
The Steelmindedness, to bring Cyberwellness to the next level.

Welcome 2010. Thanks, 2009.

Pouring Out.

2009-11-26T23:21:00.001+08:00

I very seldom vent. Especially online. I guess this is one of those nights I feel the onslaught coming and just need an outlet. With the gf away at camp and buddies all busy with stuff, I turn to the beloved blog for an outlet.

Work has really been piling up. Not for any particular reason, but I feel so pressed for time. I've got a fantastic team working on Impetus and the planning is turning out to be a real craze, but I feel like I'm missing something. Some kinda deeper drive to hammer all the points home and just take this to the limit.

Feels like I'm almost missing the sense of urgency.

Yet, again, it's not really that. Something that just keeps slipping past my fingers. Something I'm not grasping right. Something, something... something. Just not clear what in the world is it. And it's driving me nuts. I need to pull the team together tighter. Need to be more on the ball. Sharper, clearer, more on edge.

So, like I said, I'm not really sure. And yeah, just thought I'd toss out some of my thoughts right now. I think my recent run of tiredness is taking a toll on my composure. With Impetus and Christmas all coming up back to back, I cannot wait to get away for a good holiday at the end of the year.

Seriously. I'm in need of a good break, and I desperately want a quiet Christmas this year.

The soul in need of stillness.

September in December!!!!

2009-11-22T00:08:00.001+08:00

I was at dinner with the gf and her friends tonight. Wonderful lot I tell you. We had dinner at Athena at Pavillion, decent place. But what blew me away tonight was...

WINNING Earth, Wind and Fire concert tickets!!!!

Seriously! Got them from Klue from their Twitter competition!

I was so blown away I was nearly gonna create a scene over dinner! Haha! I bet the gf's friends must've been thinking I'm bout to go bonkers. =) But they were nice and were happy for the win! Me and gf were so caught in the excitement winning the tickets, we kinda lost taste in the food. Haha, so whatever we had, was just like - food. Lol.

But I do have to testify. Really.

I was ReTweeting the @klue tweets for the contest. And I think after the last tweet, I went out to have dinner with the gf. And after dinner, I went back home and sat down to just pray and stuff, and I think somewhere I remember just making a casual prayer to God.

Something along the lines that it would be really awesome if we could win tickets to Earth, Wind and Fire, because I know we both can't really afford the tickets, but it'd just be something nice. But whatever happens, win or not, the important thing is still God in our lives.

And I left it at that. No expectations, nothing.

But I did find myself checking through my twitter and the klue website to see who won through the Saturday. Obviously, I wasn't really expecting myself to win. After all, I really seldom do join these competitions! So yeah, when I found out I won, you can imagine the huge response I had! Haha. Even the gf was really excited, because I'm definitely taking her! =)

Yet, God is really really so so good to me and the gf. And I'm so grateful that He blessed us with the tickets! They cost a bomb! RM600 a piece, which is like RM1200 total for us! So so so thankful! Thank you God! I'm really speechless at His kindness and goodness. He really is an amazing God! Above and beyond all things, filled with goodness, kindness and gentleness.

Just wowed by Him and His love.

Thanks God. Thank you very much. =)

Love.

2009-11-20T18:56:00.001+08:00

I suppose most of you following me on Twitter and Facebook would've found out by now that I am (yes, FINALLY, which seems to be the popular word used in this occassion), attached to a very remarkable and wonderful woman. =) If you haven't heard, then well, you're reading bout it right here I guess. If you're still not getting it, then I have nothing else to say to you. Lol.

But in any case, I've considered the opportunity to blog about my love life here. But in retrospect, I feel that it isn't appropriate and doesn't do a single bit of justice to a really wonderful story and journey. No justice at all. Even though words may be powerful and heartfelt, it is also a limitation of living life itself. So if you'd like to really hear about the story, it'll be over a nice hot meal, your treat of course. =) Hehe.

So yeah, in a way, it's slowly sinking in. After a long period of staying out of love, or rather, not totally taken by it, and at the same time simply enjoying my singlehood to the edge, I saw it coming. Just not how I'd expect it. And it was an extremely eye opening adventure, alongside a really remarkable experience.

I look back at the events that brought me and her together. And I'm flabbergasted. Lost for words and left standing quite in awe of it all. Still trying to let it sink in, but the magnitude just blows me away. Which is why I don't feel justified blogging about it.

I'd rather share it as it came (this is where you buying us ice cream actually comes in by the way, hehe).

And like one of the guys mentioned over at my Facebook. I'm truly left with a single question from Steven Curtis Chapman's song - "How do I love her?".

It's quite a thought to ponder. For such a beauty like her, with depth and substance, and the strength of character. I relish the opportunity to be her Knight, God's Champion and more. Because life is to short to be lived without vision, aspirations and love. Yet the question remains, and must be answered. An answer only I'll know I suppose. And I'm ready to find out.

So here's to Falling in Love, and to the miracles that bind us together.

And to the GF...

(For her eyes only). ;)

Taped Glasses.

2009-10-23T00:59:00.001+08:00

My "bigger bro" (actually, he's my boss - lol), once shared with me a very interesting thought.

He mentioned to me that a lot about life depends on how we see it. But what matters really are the lenses we use. Just like our glasses, the wrong set of lenses leads us to the wrong perspectives. It's not what we see that is wrong. It's what we're looking through.

Over the past few weeks I've been having a plentiful amount of decent conversations with people. And I've discovered that many people assume the end object, which is often the WHAT we see, that is the object in error. Yet many times, we fail to notice that we're using the wrong set of lenses and end up barraging the object.

So, what's the real issue at hand then you might ask?

How to get the right perspective.

It's important we learn to obtain the right perspectives when it comes to living out life. Not because it sounds cliche or anything, but because it really does simply matter. You see, people become exasperated easily when they're not looking at things in life the right way. They see common comments as personal and private attacks, misunderstand others and so on and so forth.

When we adapt the right perspectives, it changes the "outlook" of everything we see. It's not only just clearer, but also sharper. Clarity is an important part of perception. Without clarity there is no way we can "define" the objects in our life.

So to all of us who are busy berating life, take a moment to take a look at your lenses. You might just be surprised how a couple of specks on the lenses or even a scratch, can drastically change the way we look at things. And you'll be even more surprised, how a quick moment of cleaning, can also change it all.

Today... are you using the right set of lenses? Think about it. =)

Preperations.

2009-09-04T11:19:00.001+08:00

So, I've been busy preparing my brains out for this NECF Youth Forum trip to Ipoh this coming Monday. I'll be leaving on Sunday though. I have no idea why I feel strained out by my preparations. After all, it's only a short session. But I think, maybe it's because we're beginning to go national. And I have very high demands on myself as who I am.

So yeah, the past few weeks I've been slogging it out with the Generasi Gemilang website, waded through tonnes of information to pick out what's right, poured out my conscience into the spec sheets, bounced it off my executive director and adviser, and now... I'm nearly there. I've even begun setting up my Train the Trainers specs in anticipation of next year's harvest!

Well, at least 90% I believe. Just need to throw down a few more things into the the entire works and pretty it up.

I'm stoked honestly. Less than a year, and we're taking the nation by storm. Truly the best is yet to come. And the entire company is going to be making headlines as we progress bit by bit.

So yeah, I'm very excited and honored to have been invited by NECF to present what we're doing. Spare 26 seconds for me in prayer. You'll be amazed how much God can do with what little we have. Remember the 5 loaves and 2 fish? =) There we go. With God - less is more.

But.

My thoughts on the Cyber World even as I spin up my research.

1) We're progressing way faster than we think we are.
2) We're underestimating the power of Internet assimilation.
3) We're unaware of the impact it's making on cultural society.
4) We're losing solitude and depth as we surf superficial surface information.
5) We're in great need of guidance, goodness and guardians.

Generasi Gemilang will be launching it's recruitment drive in the coming days. Will you be part of bringing hope and truth back into today's jaded and superfluous society?

This is your Life.

2009-08-09T00:22:00.002+08:00

Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
Yesterday is a promise that you’ve broken
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes

This is your life and today is all you’ve got now
And today is all you’ll ever have
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes

This is your life
Are you who you want to be?
This is your life
Are you who you want to be?
This is your life
Is it everything you dreamed that it would be
When the world was younger
And you had everything to lose?

Yesterday is a kid in the corner
Yesterday is dead and over

This is your life
Are you who you want to be?
This is your life
Are you who you want to be?
This is your life
Is it everything you dreamed that it would be
When the world was younger, and you had everything to lose?

Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes

This is your life are you who you want to be?
This is your life are you who you want to be?

This is your life are you who you want to be?
This is your life are you who you want to be?
This is your life is it everything you dreamed that it would be,
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose, Everything to lose.

Just happened to tune into my nightly internet radio session and tuned straight into this song by Switchfoot. Love how it just reminds me that this is my life, and I have a say in what I want it to be.

And I want it to be everything God wants it to be.

Why is Twitter down? Answer is here.

2009-08-07T01:44:00.005+08:00

As of several hours ago. I believe most of you net junkies are fuming as to why Twitter has not been accessible and why Facebook is sluggish.

Well, Twitter is under a major DDOS attack, short for Distribuited Denial Of Service. Basically they're being pinged to death right now by hackers. If you dunno what that means, think of it as 2348759823759827358923759827359827358972398572983572 people pressing the refresh button at twitter.com every second.

Read about it here, here, here, and here.

Apparently, the hackers are anti consumerist, whatever that means. No time to read up on that now. It's currently 1.45am and I should be sleeping because there's work tomorrow. So yeah, just an update for my readers who are also tweeters. Or tweeties. Whichever floats your boat. =)

Might also explain why Google feels slightly sluggish as well. Hrm. Point to ponder.

Cumulative update here.

Facebook investigates foulplay post-twitter recovery.

And read this too.

And lastly, the post mortem on the Twitter Attack.

More than.

2009-08-06T22:38:00.002+08:00

Today, seemed to be a little one of those days where you feel everything is a little more riled up than usual. I know these days like the back of my hand. They creep up on you, pounce on you and tie you up before you even know it. Haha.

Anyways, On the way back home from work today, I was simply overcome by a flood of questions and thoughts. I manage myself very well, so when I lost it today, wow, I wasn't prepped for it. Caught off guard, it was like a spear being hurled towards me like the ones in Troy or The 300.

I knew if I didn't do something about it, it might just catch me.

So I got home... and strapped on my runners.

I made a run for it. Pardon the pun. Couldn't resist. Haha, but yeah, I did go for a run. Was thinking to myself that a little run with God on the road and around the park might help. And it was just what I needed.

A timely reminder.

Of the promises He made to me when I was down.

When I was feeling out.

When I'm up on the base, feeling I can't bash in the Home Run.

When I was deep stitched in prayers and tears.

When I longed for more of Him and His kingdom.

It was a reminder I needed. A reminder of who I am, and who He is. But ultimately... who we are together. And... it sank in. I caught it. I heard His reminder for my life loud and clear today.

And it resonated from Romans 8:37. He called me "more than a conqueror". But I love how, after He reminded me of that. He reminded me that I am first... more. Because the verse mentions how we are more. And that stopped my heart for a moment.

I think sometimes, we get caught up so much in what we're doing, where we're heading, about our destinies and goals and so on, that we forget about ourselves really. Literally. It's all about something someone told us. Or some inflated thought process. And instead of helping us along the way, these are the very things, even though good. That stifles.

And today, God was leading me on my run. After all... He is always two steps ahead.

Have you taken your time out with God today? I'm not talking bout doing your devotion or stuff. I'm talking bout something like dropping by to your favorite place, alone - but not really alone.

Because you're meant to spend time with God.

Because you're meant to read the Word of God, and meet the God of the Word. It's easy to miss the encounter and the wonder if we're always trapped in our littleness and so caught up in the details of our agendas.

Time out today.

Pamper yourself. It's ok.

Meet with God. (say hi to Him for me!!)

You are more.

Reminiscence & Revolution.

2009-08-05T01:15:00.001+08:00

5 years ago, I wrote something in my private journal, which I'd like to share now. Because I just feel someone needs to be encouraged in the faith and in their walk. I might not know who, but you're reading this, and God is speaking loud and clear to you in His own private way. =)

So here we go.

12.10.2004
And again, the plot twists and turns. I have never felt this small ever as far as I can recall. Never ever felt so close to calling it quits. Surprised? That's what a lot of other people would be. I've really been through so much.

It's a miracle that I am still able to maintain such a composure about life. I don't doubt God. I still do believe. Still believe enough to risk... to trust.

Yet, somehow it keeps getting darker.

I'm really beginning to wonder if people actually do care.

I'm also beginning to see why people are capable of walking away. And it's surely not because they doubt a real God. Church seems enveloped in a case of organizations, doings, tryings and persuasion. It's not that these things are wrong, but I feel as if they're taking the place of faith, hope and love. Taking the place of its tangible, manifested actions.

A part of me wants to stay. Wants me to press on, to be strong, to hold on. But there's the other side of me that wants me to just drop it, to just let go. A part that says to give up trying, to stop bashing my head against a wall trying to figure things out. A part that says you were never meant to do or to TRY to be.

All I ever needed was just to be. That's it. To exist.

It's so easy for people to be fancy. To be able to use the right words, at the right time, etc. But I still see through the entire facade, knowing that deep down, they aren't really settled either. And the thing that bugs me is that we talk about community, about being genuine, real, about being hope... but we walk around with masks covering the very nature that we were meant to give up. We say we're alright, when deep down, hearts are falling apart.

It feels like we're living off on a discounted second-hand grace. It doesn't feel good. It's not euphoric. It doesn't bring anymore than just a feeling that says maybe. I'm going to be honest, now I know why it feels like quits, because somewhere along the line, it stopped being real Truth.

I backslided 19 days from the date of this journal entry. And my "age of darkness" came upon me. And I lived through it and came out on the other end only by the grace of God. And all I can say is, that my experience was a truly unique one. Not everyone goes through what I did.

But if you're reading this, I believe God is saying - there's more to life that what we really perceive it to be. But our lives require a radical change in the way we look at it. If we only look at it from our vision it will always be dull, because we don't see in the wonder-fullness of God's eyes.

But if you take a moment. Just a moment, to change your perception.

And look at life, through the lenses of Truth. Wow. What a change.

Yeah, might sound like I've got it. But I haven't. Truth be told, I'm far from being anything Christ-like. In fact, I just penned down my thoughts on change in my journal. Just penned down my fears and insecurities. Which someday, I'll post on this blog. Just like how I'm doing right now.

But the crunch is this:

On my pilgrimage, yes, it's true. I've been through a lot.

But I will continue to go through on life as He transforms Christlike.

Even if it's bit by bit.

THE FOOOOOOOLZ!

2009-07-01T10:11:00.000+08:00

THIS IS HERESY!!!!!

READ IT!!!

To Change the World.

2009-06-23T22:44:00.002+08:00

It's one of those days and nights where ya kinda just sit down and wanna pen/type out some thoughts. I guess tragedy, has a way of suddenly bringing life to a jolting stop. Kinda like a lightning bolt ripping through the night sky.

You see it.

You hear it.

But you're not sure where or what it struck.

So that's how it has been for me.

I'd love to say that perhaps the accident behind my house made me rethink about how fragile life really is. But then again. It wasn't really the accident. Or perhaps a better reason might because I just watched the show "Seven Pounds". Slow, but the effect, dramatic. But then again, not really.

I could then dare say it could be all my soul sessions with my Hazelnut Latte and a book. But again, doesn't really quite hit the spot. Like, just off the mark by ever so little. Yet, still off the mark.

Sounds like I'm rambling, and honestly, I think I am.

Yet, it's a question I've grappled with over and over again.

Something that doesn't seem to want to relinquish itself from my heart.

Something, that no matter how I try, what I do, comes back not to haunt me. But to make me desire for something greater in life. And mind you, it's not the oh-so-common-live-life-abundantly phrase.

It's more than that. Digging deep down into my soul and the core of my being.

Maybe that's it.

The core of my be-ing.

I have no idea honestly.

But it seems that life beckons me towards something greater.

Until today, my dream to change the world still stands.

And still I dont' know how I'm going to achieve it. It's bigger than me. Bigger than I can ever imagine it to be. And because it's so big. I know it can only be achieved through Someone, greater than me. It's about living a life of vision. Not ambition. Living a life that calls you to the distance, and not the hurdles. It's not about finishing the race as fast as we can. But about completing the race, in the fullness of life.

I love how the King James Version puts it together.

"Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us

-Hebrews 12:1, KJV.

Wow.

Lay aside all your weights.

And. The sin that besets upon us.

Run with patience.

Paul's statement in Phillipians 3:13 tends to stop me in my tracks sometimes. Like that lightning bolt.

"Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead".

I find myself looking into life, asking myself, what is this one thing?

The answer?

"If you make the world better in one way,

you make the world better in every way,

don't you think?"

- Amazing Grace, 2007.

What is your one thing?

Happy Father's Day!

2009-06-21T11:01:00.002+08:00

Hi dad, not too sure if you'd be reading this, but hey, Happy Father's Day.

Thanks for being the man that gave his all to keep this family together, to bless it and to be part of it. You might have struggled to raise up two kids, but somehow, somewhere... you managed to do it (of course with a little help from Mom, hehe).

But yeah, I'm thankful for having a father like you. We might not have had much to say when I was younger because I was a rebellious son, but I've repented from that. And I know in the coming days our relationship will continue to grow strong and grow well. Because my God... our God (I'm believing for your salvation), has promised me that the best is yet to come. So I hold onto that promise. And I continue to thank God for your life, and our family.

God has indeed blessed me with nothing but the best. And you're the best father, that I, Keith Woo, could ever ask for. So thank you again Dad, for being who you are... and who you will be in the future, a great man of God.

Love you, Dad. =)
- Your son.

PS: I just gotta rub this in a little. Haha, I my dad a pair of Crocs yesterday, because I know how much standing he does while he's at work. So I hunted down a really awesome pair for him, and thank God his feet size are same as mine, so size guessing was outta the picture.

But anyways, I gave my dad his Father's Day gift, and his first reaction was this:

"Hey! I was looking for a pair of shoes today!!"

Haha, the feeling was priceless.

Talk about cheating in the Holy Spirit to know what to get for your dad. *wink*

Anyways, just wanted to leave us with a thought about shoes and stuff.

"The entire weight of your life, depends on this - what do you stand on?"

Figurative, yes illustrative.

Go figure.

Oh, and Happy Father's Day again. =))