The Hobart Mercury 4 February 2012

While William Goldman’s book Adventures In The Screen Trade is about the movie business, most of it applies equally to politics, especially his central thesis “nobody knows anything” which all politicians, staffers, journos and cartoonists should get their iPhones to repeat to them on the hour.

The sequel Which Lie Did I Tell?: More Adventures In The Screen Trade is also worth a read.

PS “Nobody knows anything” probably doesn’t mean quite what you think it means unless you’ve read the book, and yes, Goldman also wrote The Princess Bride.

The Australian 10 January 2012

Finally, Opposition spokeswoman Teresa Gambaro has cracked the age-old question of why we all can’t just get along, and the answer turns out to be deodorant. Seriously. You can’t make this stuff up.

The Australian 4 January 2012

The economics is in and our markets are in extreme danger of being distorted which will be very bad. Or something. This is by no stretch of the imagination being at all alarmist by the way.

The Hobart Mercury 3 January 2012

Look, if you want a government handout in Tasmania, you start up a Chopping Down Native Forests For Woodchips Festival like everybody else. Sheesh. The cheek of it.

The Australian 3 January 2011

The definitive Howard biography still available.

Every year around December I think jeez, I should put out a book of my favourite cartoons at which point it’s all a bit late, and I don’t and anyway, I blew my publishing budget on calendars this year, and you should definitely get one.

Anyway I thought to myself bugger it, everybody else does a top 10 list at the end of the year so I started doing a top 10 cartoons of 2011 list, but as I draw approximately 450 political cartoons a year, it’s quite hard to whittle it down to ten, and I’m not much of a whittler, so I’ve gone with my “Favourite Fifteen” which alliterates, so all’s well.

I’ll no doubt not put out a book again next year, but may do a slightly less half-arsed Favourite Fifteen.

Anyway, here they are in chronological order.

1. Postdiluvian Politics

The Australian, 21 January 2011

The year kicked off with a Great Flood of biblical proportions, which you’d think would be right up Tony’s alley. Everything was looking quite bipartisan, touchy-feely and New Testament until Julia’s flood levy, which was too much for Tony to resist.

2. Ordure Occurs

The Australian 10 February 2011

The head nodding incident. This is the most pooh I have ever drawn in a published cartoon.

3. Say It With Placards

The Australian 25 March 2011

There were a few cracks at People’s Revolt, but generally it seemed there weren’t enough revolting people willing to turn up to really get a good stink going. However, there were some pretty angry placards in evidence.

4. Perhaps Olive Green And Gold Packaging Then

The Hobart Mercury 12 April 2011

There really isn’t anything good about poker machines, and if saying that makes me unAustralian, fell free to bite your bum.

 5. Science and Tony’s left foot

The Australian 26 May 2011

Tony’s attitude to climate change is not consistently reproducible under laboratory conditions, so thus transcends science.

6. Never Stand Between A Premier And A Bucket Of Money

The Australian, 25 May 2011

It still baffles me how the government managed to turn billionaires into underdogs via the MRRT (nee RSPT). The only achievement more gobsmacking is how they managed to sign a blank cheque for the states by essentially underwriting their mining royalties. This one’s still got a bit of a way to run.

7. Stop The Cows

The Sunday Telegraph 5 June 2011

Refugee boat cows. The perfect storm.

8. Old MacDonald Had A Question Time

The Australian 3 June 2011

If you recall, Senator Bushby meowed at  Penny Wong during a Budget Estimates hearing. Now while it’s true that estimates hearings can do strange things to a chap, the behaviour during Question Time this year has degenerated into a version of Lord Of The Flies if all the kids were members of the school debating team.

9. Just Say No

The Australian 18 July 2011

Let’s hope he’s more than a one-trick Tony next year. It’s getting a bit boring.

10. Malaysia Or Bust

The Australian 1 September 2011

Turned out to be bust.

11. The Light On The Hill

The Australian 13 September 2011

I could go on and on, but you’ve probably already made up your mind on the subject, so I’ll leave it at – Australia on boat people: Could Do Better.

12. The Good Samaritan Rebooted

22 September 2011

Like I said: Could Do Better.

13. Love and Marriage

The Hobart Mercury 20 September 2011

Heterosexual marriage is pretty bloody unnatural if you think about it, especially heterosexual marriages that are somehow threatened by homosexual marriages. We are a weird species.

14. Sealed With A Kiss

The Australian Media section 17 October 2011

Well after all that, the carbon tax got up and we’ve made it to very nearly 2012 without the economy collapsing or Kevin doing a Vengeful Lazarus With A Gallbladder Bypass, which is nice.

15. Speaking Of Economies Collapsing…

The Australian 19 October 2011

Just thought I’d leave you on a cheery note. Have a nice 2012!