I’m currently preparing for a trip to Thailand where I will learn Thai in Bangkok and I’m keen to further my studies into Eastern spirituality at the same time. In this guest post for the Daily Mind I’d like to share some of the things that Buddhism has taught me.

Life isn’t meant to be easy Before I discovered Buddhism I had a habit of grumbling and complaining about life. If I was having difficulties at work I’d find myself wishing that things could be easier. I often found myself envying other people who seemed to have an easier ride than me.

One of the things that Buddhism has taught me is that life just isn’t meant to be easy. In fact, the first thing the Buddha taught in his Four Noble Truths (the cornerstone of Buddhist teachings) is that “life means suffering.” In other words, human nature isn’t perfect and neither is the world we live in, which means that the very nature of human existence is painful.

During our lifetime, we will all go through physical suffering such as pain, sickness, injury and eventually death; and we will also endure psychological suffering like sadness, fear and depression. None of us are going to be able to escape that so, rather than fight it, you might as well accept it. With acceptance and realisation, I find comes a lot of peace.

Material things won’t make you happy OK, this is hardly a new concept, but it’s something that really struck me during my travels around SE Asia and as I learnt more about Buddhism. Another of the Four Noble Truths is that the cause of suffering is attachment and craving. And once I really thought about it, it made a lot of sense to me.

Before quitting my job to go travelling I spent a lot of time and money hankering after the latest gadgets – a top of the range flatscreen TV, the latest smartphone, a shiny new laptop – you name it, I wanted it. But as soon as I got my newest toy the novelty would wear off and I’d find myself wanting something else – or envying other people’s things. I realised I’d got myself into a cycle of craving that simply wasn’t making me happy.

When I set off on my travels, all I had with me was a rucksack with a few clothes in, a notebook and pen and a few other essentials. No gadgets whatsoever. And after I got over the initial twitchiness, I soon found that I no longer missed my smartphone and laptop. In fact I felt sorry for other travellers who seemed obsessed with their phones – spending all their time texting or tweeting rather than living in the moment.

Nothing lasts forever It’s a simple fact – nothing in this world lasts forever. And although it may not immediately sound like a positive notion, it actually is. Just like the happy times in life come to an end, so do the bad times, which is why we need to accept the impermanence of life.

I find this a particularly comforting thought when I’m going through a bad patch in life – just realising and accepting the impermanence of life reminds me that no matter how bad things may seem, they won’t last forever. This in turn brings a sense of positivity.

Buddhists take this same approach to death. Rather than fearing it and avoiding the subject as we tend to do in the West, they acknowledge and accept that death is inevitable because of the impermanence of life.

I found this to be particularly helpful in coming to terms with the death of my father. After he passed away I felt a combination of bitterness, regret, shock and denial. For a long time I simply couldn’t accept that he was no longer around. But the teachings of Buddhism have helped me realise that this is a part of life and to be accepted. It’s taken me a long time to get to that point, but it’s something I’m now at peace with.

Life is more enjoyable when you live in the moment Before I discovered Buddhism I rarely lived in the moment. I’d either be dwelling on past mistakes, feeling wistful for days gone by or making plans for the future. My mind was always elsewhere, thinking, planning etc. Even when I first went travelling I found myself thinking ahead to the next country I was going on to, rather than enjoying the experience I was having at the time.

Buddhism has taught me the importance of mindfulness – existing in the present and being aware of your thoughts and actions in the present moment without any judgment.

Samadhi is the Buddhist practice of concentration and mental discipline in order to develop mastery over one’s mind. This is achieved through various contemplative and meditative practices. It’s not an easy thing to master, particularly in today’s busy world where we are surrounded by distractions, but it is a practice that brings about a huge sense of calm, peace and clarity. I think it’s also a really useful way of releasing attachments or cravings.

By learning to live in the present moment we are able to release any longing or wistfulness for the past, or worry or anticipation about the future. And perhaps this is the true way to reach enlightenment.

About the author: Simon has been following the ways of Buddhism for over five years. He loves to study Asian languages and has travelled extensively around SE Asia. Currently he is preparing for a trip to Thailand where he will learn Thai in Bangkok

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Be kinder to yourself

Our self-esteem is based on how we feel about ourselves and, for most of us, we’re way too harsh. Take a moment to think about the things you say to yourself. Have a listen to that little voice in your head – is it critical, negative, harsh?

Do you tend to say things to yourself like: “I’m such a failure” or “I never do anything right”? Well, imagine that a friend of yours was feeling down about himself. Would you say those things to him? No! You’d offer support and encouragement wouldn’t you? So, why say them to yourself?

Next time you start coming out with self-criticism, try to think of some positive and encouraging words instead. Look at mistakes as learning experiences, forgive yourself and focus instead on your good points and achievements. Don’t be so harsh on yourself!

Always hang out with people who make you feel great

Being around people who love and respect you will do your self-esteem no end of good. Have a really good think about the people you know who always put a smile on your face and resolve to spend more time with them because they will lift your spirits.

If certain people have a habit of dragging you down, making you feel depressed or criticising you all the time, then make every effort you can to avoid them. If you simply can’t avoid them, then take a look at my earlier article on The Daily Mind about how to cope with Energy Vampires.

Do things that you enjoy

If there’s a particular task you struggle with then you’re bound to feel negative and miserable whenever you do this. In my case I’m terrible with numbers – bills, accounts, you name it – I can’t get my head round it. This is why I leave these particular jobs to my partner. However, I’m great at cooking and it’s something I enjoy, so I take care of this side of our life.

In this sense I try to make sure that I do things I enjoy because they increase my self esteem and feed into that cycle of positivity. Make a list of things you enjoy and know that you are good at – ask a friend to help you – and resolve to do at least one of these things every week.

Practice mindfulness

Following on from that last point, practising mindfulness is a great way of combating the negative self-talk that chips away at our self-esteem. Mindfulness helps to switch off that internal chatter, which the Buddhists call the “Monkey Mind”, and instead replace it with clarity, focus and calm.

Mindfulness involves focusing entirely on the present moment, rather than living in the past or looking to the future. It’s not about trying to change things but trying instead to accept the way that things are for better or for worse. Here’s a simple mindfulness technique that I often practice myself:

Sit somewhere comfortable and quiet where you won’t be disturbed. Turn off your phone and any other distractions, like the TV or radio. Close your eyes and take a few deep, calming breaths. Stay this way for at least 10 minutes, just focusing on your breathing.

If thoughts start to pop into your mind, don’t get stressed or anxious about them, don’t consciously try to get rid of them. Instead, acknowledge them, and then imagine them floating away like clouds in the sky. After the 10 minutes is up, congratulate yourself on having taken time out to relax and still your mind.

About the author: Liz Parry is a writer specialising in holistic health and wellbeing, personal development and spirituality.

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There is a growing belief among complementary therapists that our emotional state can often hold the key to the pains or illnesses we suffer from, and this is a topic I’m going to explore in this blog post.

photo credit: Lotus Carroll

Ailments and emotions I’ve been writing about spirituality and alternative therapies for several years now, and I’ve discussed the links between physical ailments and emotions with many different practitioners.

The general thinking is that when a person experiences an emotionally traumatic event – for example a bereavement or a relationship break-up – this can bring about a blocking of the body’s normally free-flowing energy or “chi”. If this block is allowed to continue, the body becomes unbalanced, which can lead to pain and illness. By analysing and tackling the emotional cause of the energy block, the resulting ailment can often be eased.

Out of balance Reiki practitioner Julie Mills uses a mixture of energy healing and conventional counselling when working with her clients. She told me: “Often if a person is in a state of emotional stress then this can lead to tension in the body and the muscles, which in turn leads to aches and pains and even illness, rendering the body unbalanced. I find that it can really help to address the underlying emotional situation in order to tackle the source of pain.”

photo credit: eduardo.meza

Holistic healing Journey therapist Carolyn Brown shares this way of thinking and also uses a mixture of conventional and complementary therapies. Originally she trained as a physiotherapist but became frustrated by the fact that she was unable to fully heal her clients. She looked towards a more holistic way of thinking, and came across the practice of Journey Therapy.

“Through the Journey method I help my clients to find the emotional source of their pain,” she says. “I then use a process of guided visualisation to help them work through the issue and come to a form of resolution. I have had excellent results and found the Journey work to have helped where the physiotherapy couldn’t.”

Personal experience Spiritual healer Emily Mayfield knows from personal experience how a person’s emotional state can affect their health. When she first started working as a healer she found herself feeling permanently exhausted and run down.

After talking to other alternative practitioners she came to the conclusion that she had taken on board her clients’ emotional problems and that the distress this caused her had led to her falling ill.

“I realised I had to distance myself from their problems and to heal myself before I could carry on healing others,” she says.

Holistic therapies Here are some holistic therapies which tackle the emotional causes of pain and illness, and which you may find of interest. Dru Yoga The philosophy behind Dru Yoga is that there are five layers or “koshas” of our being. These begin with the physical body, followed by the “prana” or energy levels. Next is the emotional layer, followed by the intellectual layer and finally the blissful layer or soul force. Through practising certain postures, hand movements and breathing exercises, the individual learns how to target each layer directly to allow a healing transformation to take place.

When practising Dru Yoga, participants are often said to find that traumas and emotionally distressing thoughts come up to the surface, but are gently and slowly released through the physical body.

photo credit: Nicholas_T

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) Described as an emotional form of acupuncture, EFT involves stimulating various energy meridian points on the body by tapping on them with the fingertips. During a session the practitioner will get the client to tune in to the problem they want to address, then tap the 11 acupressure points along with a series of affirmations.

The belief behind EFT is that unresolved negative emotions contribute to most of our physical ailments and that EFT can help to clear away this “emotional debris”.

Zero Balancing This hands-on therapy is said to be particularly helpful in treating stress and the illnesses caused or exacerbated by it. Practitioners claim it encourages a feeling of quietness and centeredness within the body and mind, helping a person to cope better with changes as well as helping to resolve past trauma.

Zero balancers believe that physical damage can lead to blockages in the body’s energy flow, resulting in emotional trauma, and likewise that emotional shocks can result in physical symptoms. Therefore practitioners aim to bring about harmony between the physical body and its energy flow.

What do you think about the links between our emotions and our physical ailments? Do get in touch as I’d love to hear your views!

About the author: Liz Parry is a writer specialising in holistic health and wellbeing, personal development and spirituality.

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In Chinatown, visit the Buddha Tooth Relic Temple and Museum just down the street from the Sri Mariamman Temple (Hindu), which isn’t far from the Jamae Mosque (Muslim). That’s Singapore in a nutshell – a harmony of cultures.

At the Buddha Temple go upstairs to the free Buddhist museum on the 3rd floor. They have tons of Buddhist relics from around the world and have done a good job telling the story of Buddha in a designed path through the museum. Take your time. Read a bit. Learn a bit.

Then hit up the stairwell and sneak up to the roof. You’ll find a lush rooftop tropical garden surrounding a large Buddhist prayer wheel. Grab the wheel, walk in a circle and make a prayer. It’s okay. You’re allowed to be there.

For lunch, go behind the museum to the Chinatown Complex (food hawker center). There are 1,000 food stalls. Take a deep breath and find a stall that sells ‘chicken rice’. When I was there it was #172. It should cost S$3. Wait for it. Make sure to take the little tray of red sauce. The dish will look bland – you will be surprised.

Take the food, turn around and walk back and to the right and find stall #196k. The sign will say “Lime Juice”. Ask for the ‘sugar cane juice WITH lime’. Should cost S$1.5. If it’s a hefty Chinese man, his name is “Song” – tell him the American from Korea says “hello”. We wrote down a sign in Korean for him to attract Koreans – apparently he was listed in a Korean travel guide and gets a lot of Koreans looking for his stall.

Drank Song’s sugar cane juice with lime 3 times in 3 days in Singapore. Searched for it’s equal throughout Malaysia and even in Cambodia and Vietnam. Nope. Song takes pride in using 100% juice and the exact number of limes (21 I think). He doesn’t water it down. Real deal.

Afterward, head around the corner to the intersection of South Bridge and Smith Street. Look for ‘Nanyang Old Coffee.’ Get yourself a cup. Sit down. Enjoy it. You’re in Singapore.

That’s how you do Chinatown in Singapore!

Below is the video I made when we stumbled into the Buddha Tooth Relic Temple in Museum trying to get out of the rain.

From Snowboarding near Vale, Colorado at Veckman’s wedding, to Mexico, Tokyo, Korea, Malaysia, Singapore, and Cambodia. I’m a lucky son-of-a-gun. Check out the video below.

The song is Little Secrets by Passion Pit

You can buy this song here – http://amzn.to/fDliBn
and the album here – http://amzn.to/eW0Hzb

Materials:

• Poster board
• Magic marker (black, permanent)
• Deck of cards (or random numbers 0-9)
• Basket, hat, or bowl (for the money)

Set-up:

1. Draw lines dividing the poster board into 11 x 11 squares (draw 10 lines horizontal, and 10 vertical).
2. On the top edge write one Team Name, on the left edge write the other Team Name
3. Have people ‘buy squares’ for $1 each.
4. People write their name in any of the inside 10×10 squares (it’s random).
5. After all the squares have been filled up, grab the deck of cards.
6. Fill in the top edge with numbers 0-9 using the deck of cards to make the numbers random.
7. Do the same for the left edge.

How to Play:

Pay out $5 for every score change.  $10 for the Half-time score, and whatever is left for the Final score!  Use the one’s digit of the score to determine the number.

At kick-off, whoever has the square 0, 0 wins $5!  Then when the score changes, whoever has the square for that score wins $5!

For example: if the Giants score a field goal first, then whoever has Giants 3, Patriots 0 wins $5!  Then, let’s say the Patriots score a TD next.  Whoever’s name is written the square with Packers 3, Patriots 6 wins $5.  Naturally, the Patriots will likely kick a PAT (point after touchdown), so whoever has Giants 3, Patriots 7 ALSO wins $5!

The Betting Pool is fun because many people can win money!  It’s also fun because people who may not have been interested in the game, become interested when there’s a chance that one of their squares might win!  It’s always funny at my Godfather’s Super Bowl party to see some old lady (who doesn’t usually care about football) rooting for one team to kick a field goal, because the resulting score will win her $5!  It’s fun for all ages, makes the game a little more interesting, and is not too difficult to set-up!  So create a Super Bowl Betting Pool for your Super Bowl party and get everybody involved!

Leave your comments below.

Breakfast coming from Seoul. Lunch coming from Beijing. Dinner in Bangkok. It was the beginning of another sure-to-be-memorable vacation abroad. Plans included rock-climbing in Vietnam with Mixto and Huevos (aka the plumbers), whom I hadn’t seen in over 2 years since volunteering together in Peru. Then, planned to meet Taylor and his girlfriend, Nina, who I hadn’t seen since graduation from college together. These were four people you can’t help but be excited to see.

Well, my excitement got the best of me, and after only 5 days rock-climbing with the plumbers on Cat Ba island near Ha Long Bay in Vietnam, I left my passport at the hotel. I was about 2 hours into a 4.5 hour bus-boat-bus-bus (4B’s) trip back to Hanoi when it dawned on me that my passport was no longer in my possession. The next morning I had a flight booked to Bangkok to meet Taylor and Nina before Christmas. Guess I won’t be making that flight! There’s the second $100 down the drain for the trip (I had also just lost my pocket video-camera the day before, but there’s no story to that- I’m clearly just a bumbling fool).

So, I run through the options in my mind:

1. Get a new passport from the Embassy in Hanoi
2. Make the 9 hour round-trip journey on the 4B’s to secure my passport in hand
3. Have the plumbers give my passport to a stranger taking the same 4B’s trip one-way to Hanoi, and meet that person at the bus stop

What would you do? I’ll give you a hint – 1) getting a new passport theoretically can take a day, but the new Vietnam visa for that new passport can take a week. 2) The 4B’s trip includes a 2.5 hour stint in a bus with a horn that sounds every 4 seconds or so the whole way (I’m not exaggerating). It is unbelievably unbearable.

So, yes, I contacted the plumbers, and asked them to give my passport to a group of travelers making their way from Cat Ba to Hanoi. I know this sounds risky, but I trusted the plumbers would know how to find good people. Even if they gave my passport to the only group of travelers making the trip that day. By the time they responded to my email, they had already sent it.

“Your passport is with a group of 3 people. Two European guys wearing Thai-pants, and a stunning blonde in an orange skirt. They’ll look for you at the bus stop. Godspeed.” That’s why they’re plumbers. This should be easy. So I hop on a moto-taxi and ride to the bus terminal to meet three very conspicuous travelers.

I missed them. I was there 15 mins before their bus was supposed to arrive, and stayed for an hour through 2 more buses from that company. No white guys in Thai-pants, and zero blondes in any color skirt. Now what?

I moto-taxi back to the hostel that’s letting me crash even though legally they’re supposed to have my passport on file to let me stay there. I get on the internet and find the back-up plan.

Plumbers: “If you don’t find them, enable anyone to search for you on Facebook. That’s their backup plan if they don’t see you at the bus station.” Good news – the plumbers built in a backup plan. Bad news – I had my security settings too high. So I had to change those real quick, which I did. After loosening the Facebook restrictions a test search revealed a whole BUNCH of people with my name, but none of them were me! So I changed my f-book name to my full name which of course, is on my passport. I thought the travelers could find me that way. So I waited. And I waited. Waiting… waiting… nothing. No message. What more could I do? This sucks!

So then, I had the idea to send a message to all the people with my name at the top of the f-book search list to tell them the situation and with a direct link to my f-book account. As I was sending the message to the 3rd possible me, I got a friend request from a stranger! Yes! That was the girl in the group!

I immediately accepted, sent her an instant chat message… nothing… so, I quickly sent her an f-book message… nothing. So I waited…. and waited… then she signed off! Nooooooo!! Nothing! No response!

She found me! But then she didn’t send any message or give me any information so I could meet her and get my passport back. So I had to wait more. By now I had been waiting for my passport for more than 5 hours.

There was nothing I could do…. I found her email on her f-book, and sent her an e-mail. That was it. That was everything. I couldn’t do anything else but wait for her to respond to one of the many messages I had sent. She was somewhere in the same city as me, with the key to my exit from the city, and I couldn’t find her. And ultimately, I had nobody to blame but myself.

One last thing… I knew what she looked like – she was described as a ‘stunning blond girl’, so I walked around the city just looking for a girl that fit that description. It was hopeless. Hanoi is way too big! I actually walked around the main backpacker-hostel-guesthouse area more than 10 times just hoping to spot her and her two friends, or to have them spot me… nothing.

I was so sad. But this is supposed to be a fun trip. There’s no use in being sad, but there was nothing I could do. I kept checking f-book and my email…. Nothing. 11:30 pm rolls around and I’m tired. There’s nothing I can do. So I go to bed dreaming of a message in my Inbox for the morning. I wake up, anxious, hopeful, but also helpless. It’s Christmas Eve in Hanoi. I’m hoping Christmas will come early.

I check my e-mail… nothing. I don’t know how to express helplessness, but this is what I felt. Utterly, and completely helpless. There was nothing I could do. There are two cheap flights out of Hanoi to Bangkok. One leaves at 9:10 AM, and the other at 11:10 PM. I had already had to skip one that I had purchased. Now, I had to wait to buy the next one until I got my passport. Time is ticking and I’ve got no passport. I eat breakfast. Check my e-mail. Nothing. Walk around the block. Check my e-mail. Nothing.

I don’t want to waste another day in Hanoi, especially Christmas Eve – by myself! So, I look online to see what there is to do in this city. The War Museum is the only interesting thing in the city, so I decide to walk there. But first… I check my e-mail. Nothing. Damn.

So I walk 40 mins to the War Museum, after getting lost for a split-second. At the gate, I ask the guard if this is the Museum, because it’s not as obvious as I thought it could be. He replies to me in broken Vietnamese-English, “Clo Munday, Fryday.”

Excuse me?

“Close Monday, Friday.”

I look at my watch. Today is Friday. The museum is closed today. I walk around a second, find the ticket booth, and it says in English, “The museum is open every day except Monday, and F__day.” The “r” and “i” were missing, but I got it. No museum for me today.

Now what? I don’t have any choice but to walk all the way back to my guesthouse. So that’s what I do. I check the internet, and there’s a message! Uh-oh! Is it her? Yes, it is! I read it! She’s online right now. I quickly send her an instant message on f-book. No reply…. waiting. No reply. She has given me a phone number. But it’s not a Vietnamese number. It’s a German number. Then she signs off! Nooooo! I get on Skype and call the German number. Ring… ring…. ring… ring… ring… “halo?”

YES! Finally!! She’s at her hotel. I tell her to wait 6 mins, hop on the back of a motorbike and go straight there. The three travelers are outside waiting for me. I walk up trying to hide my excitement. One guy sitting down in a relaxed position, says to me nonchalantly, “looking for this?” as he holds up my American passport. “Yes, sir I am.” They smile and he hands it to me. Finally, I have my passport back!! I thank them and chat for a minute, but I’m anxious to get out of Hanoi and on to Bangkok to meet Taylor and Nina.

I stop at a backpacker hostel around the corner and hop online to buy a plane ticket. It’s off to Bangkok Christmas morning on the 9:10 AM flight on AirAsia. Merry Christmas!

Losing your passport is not awesome. Getting stuck in Hanoi is not awesome. Don’t lose your passport. I know this sounds obvious, but it’s something that sucks so bad, it doesn’t hurt to keep it in mind.

PS: There’s always a silver lining – yes, that’s the ‘stunning blond’ who had my passport. The plumbers didn’t know it at the time, but she’s a German model. Merry Christmas!

The weekend of November 6-7 was not a festival – it was simply the best weekend to see Naejangsan in all its glory. Considering that Korea is a country only as big as Indiana, yet containing more people than all of California and Indiana combined, that more than 70% of people live in apartments, and that there are only so many places to go outside of one’s apartment, you’ll should believe the next statement. On Saturday, more than 80,000 people visited Naejangsan.

As Warren so deftly put it, “Americans watch football on the weekends; Koreans go to mountains.”

That’s twice as many people as can attend a sold-out Boston Red Sox game. Warren and I drove to Naejangsan at the peak time, and ended up parking in Parking Lot 4 out of 5, which was more than 2 km away from the entrance of the park. It was seemingly absurd how many tour buses from Seoul, Busan, and Gwangju we saw in the parking lots of this National Park. I repeat, this was not a festival. This was not an event. There were no celebrity appearances. The celebrities were the leaves of the trees. The stages were two Buddhist hermitages, and two temples.

So, if you come to Korea in the Fall and want to experience a unique facet of the Korean culture, then ask somebody the best time to go to Naejangsan. If it’s a weekend in the Fall (probably November), then go, and experience the masses. But if you prefer a more exclusive experience, then visit Naejangsan in the Winter after a snowfall. Either way, Naejangsan is worth a visit.

For more photos check out my Flickr album.

Well, when Jack and I took a trip to Malaysia last Summer, we wanted to experience the world-class diving Malaysia has to offer. Knowing of the popularity of the Perhentians, we asked our respective Malaysian friends about quality dive spots with fewer travelers. Pulau Tenggol was the response.

An easy 3-3.5 hour bus ride from Malaysia’s capital, Kuala Lumpur, the Tenggol group of islands sits off the coast just a 45 minute boat ride from the jetty near the small town of Dungun.

Below is a compilation of pictures and videos we took while scuba diving near Tenggol. Enjoy! (I recommend full screen.)

Banana leaf rice is a seemingly simple dish. First, your “plate” is a banana leaf, rolled out in front of you like a placemat. Then a generous scoop of rice is plopped in the middle. Next, come an assortment of curry sauces and vegetables. That’s the basic dish, and it’s meant to be eaten with your hands.

Not wanting us to miss any of the good stuff, J Chan felt it a good idea to order a bit more. So, our meal had the addition of fried spicy calamari, fried chicken, and fish. One difficult, yet fun, part of eating the meal was trying to do so the traditional way – with only your right hand. As an American, it’s not a way of eating that I’m used to, but in actuality, it’s a more practical way of eating once you get used to the correct method. (Hint: scoop the food onto your fingers, and push into mouth with thumb)

Here’s a video we filmed on Jack’s iPhone of us eating banana leaf rice. (sorry for the low quality – hit the four arrows to go full screen):