Also, I am a slow reader.

However every time I pick up my Kindle, I typically read 2% of the book I am reading. It doesn’t matter what time of the day or how I am feeling. This was consistent.

So now I am forcing myself to pick it up more. That is how I am reading more books than ever before!

There is a lot that we can accomplish by just showing up.

Do everything in your power to make it easier to show up. See what happens next.

How could I see otherwise from my seat of privilege?

With more time to look back, connect the dots and reflect on the journey so far, it is clear how much luck was involved in my life. Thank you!

There was once a kitten. A very cute kitten of course. She was curious, playful. A personality as striking as her tiger-like stripes.

Pooped where she should poop. Ate a variety of snacks without demanding treats. Social and loving. A good kitten indeed.

She came in to the wrong family. She didn’t come in, they brought her in. They took care of her of course. But she couldn’t be herself.

They couldn’t let her go because she was a good kitten. How unlucky!

Sometimes we are that kitten.

And when we are not, be grateful for all the blessings.

Now this might not work for everyone, but what works for me is to clean one extra dish each time I use the sink. If I am washing my hands, I clean a spoon. When I am washing a tumbler, I wash a plate.

In a matter of few hours, the sink is no longer what it used to be.

This extends beyond cleaning dishes:

• If the house needs to be organized, I put away one thing each time I take a break from work.
• When browser tabs add up, I close down one each time I need a mental break.

Action creates motivation

The thought of doing 25 push ups can be demotivating enough that one might not attempt it. But when you set your goal to do just one push up it’s easy. You might do it for the easy win. Now you are already in position, so might as well do two.

Two is better than one. One is better than zero.

The power of small actions compounded over months and years is underrated.

Imagine a world were everyone cleaned that one extra dish.

Look at the waves above.

Many of you saw a beautiful photo. Some of you wished you were on a beach with a view like that. Some of you thought of your last beach vacation.

Very few of you saw the the way the waves curled. You noticed if it was going left or right. You noticed the peak and probably thought about the distance between the waves.

If you noticed all these, you are probably a surfer. You probably even picked a spot where you would position yourself to catch that wave.

It’s the same photo. But based on our knowledge, we all saw different things.

After my accidental introduction into surfing in 2018, I find myself naturally “reading” the waves even when I am watching a scene in a movie.

I wonder what else am I missing out because I do not know what to look for.

We have all seen chocolate tasters and wine connoisseurs spot intricate differences seemingly identical specimens. They obviously know something that we don’t.

How much richer life would be if we trained ourselves to “look”?

Food for thought.

p.s.: The title is how a dear friend paraphrased a quote by Bruce H. Lipton (says Google). His original quote: “Your perspective is always limited by how much you know. Expand your knowledge and you will transform your mind.”

Helping strangers, every act of kindness, gives you joy and pleases your ego. Parents doing-it-all for their kids was biological and meant the survival of their genes.

In my mind, these are not selfless.

Don’t get me wrong, I do not think these are any less. It’s okay to be not-selfless. For me the reasons aren’t always as important as the end result.

I am not claiming to understand selfless love. But I have a perspective at least.

This is what I know now. Selfless love hurts. It’s a whole lot of pain. And one without any glory in the end.

Let me tell you a story.

This happened in Mexico. A friend of mine, Roma, went swimming in the ocean. The waves took him so far away from the beach. I remember that moment where I could see him only as a tiny dot.

Now, Roma is a strong swimmer. I wasn’t worried. Not until I saw a huge wave engulf him. I thought that was it. I felt fear on the shore. I cannot imagine what he went through in that moment.

Luckily, that wave brought him back and Roma survived.

When he came back, he was tired. Scared. He said he thought he was going to die. This was not a joke.

We took care of him. Made sure he wouldn’t pass out to prevent any risk of secondary drowning. (Secondary drowning is when you have water in your lungs which might cause breathing issues and could be fatal.)

But at night, when he retired to his room, he was in trauma. This man thought he was going to die. And if you have had a near-death experience, you know what your mind does to you for a while. All the what-if’s your mind presents you with.

What does all this have to do with selfless love?

Roma did not call his wife and his child. He did not tell them about this incident until he reached back home.

Think about it. In that trauma, no matter who is with you, all you want to do is talk to your loved ones. You want to tell them that you love them again. You want to hear their voice.

But that would have been selfish. That would be passing on the trauma to his family. And they would worry about him until he got back.

Roma went through the trauma and the pain without passing it on to his family. There was no glory to be had. When he finally told his wife, he was right there for her to be angry at. This was selfless in my eyes.

Roma was badass. Be like Roma.

It’s an extract from a Theodore Roosevelt speech, a paragraph that had great influence on my life.

It’s amazing what we can do once the fear of rejection and criticism are manageable.

Criticism has its place of course. Brene Brown points it out correctly in the following talk. I will leave the punch line for the video. Hint, look for the 7:00 min mark.

Thanks to @glueckpress for sharing the video with me and to @Ingrid for the image above.

Imagine for a minute that there is no fear and no one is judging you. Whatever that is holding you back is gone. What would you do?

Why not just do it?

Imagine you worked all week preparing for a test. You beat your temptations and saved the marshmallow. You aced your test.

Your best friend says, oh you are very lucky. How does that feel?

Yes, I am lucky in many regards and grateful to be so.

But I take offense when I am told that I am lucky to have a job that lets me travel.

Of course I was lucky that my parents sent me to good school. Lucky to be born in a time when we have internet. Lucky for the parents I got.

But I did not eat a lot of marshmallows to be here. All those months without direction.

It took me ten years to be lucky.

Great work has the potential to bring change. Your work might not change the world for everyone. Changing someone else’s world is just as good.

After all change begins with one. Like a cigarette butt that can burn down a whole forest.

Great work is just as tiring. Caffeine is often the drug of choice for doers. But that’s only enough to win the battle.

To win the war, there has to be a higher driving force. Often something very personal. An obsession. There is no room for right or wrong. It is what it is.

Personally I don’t think the reasons matter. If its selfish, let it be. Do it for yourself, just be clear on why you are doing it and be willing to go all the way.

[Source of the quote is debated, I always thought it was by Charles Bukowski]

Obsession wakes you up before your alarm goes off. It installs a sense of urgency. Makes you hustle. All you want to do is to do your work. Nothing else matters.

You will do whatever you have to do to feed your obsession. The late night shifts, the early morning sprints.

It’s one of life’s true luxuries. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. You will know when you find it. It will take charge and make you a prisoner.

Give in because it’s worth it.

The last time I went to Hyderabad was during my 12th grade when our batch went on a 6 day pleasure trip.

A lot has changed since then. The current state of Telengana was still part of Andra Pradesh. You might find this hard to believe, I disliked travel back then and hated train journeys even more.

I met Lucky during Tata Jagriti Yatra in 2010. The friendship with Lucky and two others, Namrata and Sumit, is undoubtedly the greatest outcome I have had from the Yatra.

Just as I arrived at Lucky’s home, their parents being the generous hosts they are and it being a wedding house, I was immediately served lunch. I instantly loved the food in front of me.

I had been away from India for about 8 months at that point, so my taste buds were craving for the complexity of flavours that only a heavy dose of Indian spices can deliver. And boy, Hyderabadis love their food spicy!

My previous experience with Hyderabadi food was just their biryani. I am not a huge fan of the same and I think it’s a bit over hyped. Not that it isn’t great, don’t get me wrong, but we do have amazing biryianis in Kerala and a lot more styles than what I have tasted in Hyderabad.

What excited me about the lunch was the liberal use of tamarind in the curries and sides. Malayali’s crave for fish curries prepared with Kudampuli and associate it as a delicacy. And when similar tastes come by we are in love!

Being away from home forced me to start cooking and soon I realized that I loved cooking. It relaxes me and I love how something I cooked can sometimes surprise my taste buds.

(That makes me sound like a fabulous cook, I promise it’s just fancy words. In reality all I make is eggs, potatoes, noodles and pasta. lol)

Like most people who cook, I often collect recipes of the things I love and I decided that I was going to learn how to make some of the sides from Lucky’s mom.

Learning From The Wise

Lucky’s mom, Padma took  me under her wing. I was about to find out how well she knew cooking and how incredible she was.

We had no common language. Apparently if you hangout with someone long enough and you try, you will be able to communicate. Maybe that is how early human beings communicated and came up with a language?

She is very intelligent. She knows why some things are done some ways. She understands the science behind cooking and always explained to me with reasons instead of just saying that’s how it should be.

She had a solution for everything. What happens if it’s too salty, or too bitter.

She also understood nutrition. She told me why we she used raw ingredients to preserve the vitamins.

Moms (or the person who cooks) influence the health of the entire family and having a mom who understands nutrition is very important to stay healthy. We often take that for granted.

Growing up I remember how my mother would always limit the amount of junk food I ate. And we as Indians are lucky in general because our cuisine is loaded with spices. Various spices, along with their flavour, also bring essential micro nutrients.

Tomato Pickle With Tamarind

Amongst everything I tried, I was floored by her tomato pickle. I loved it so much that I was having it with breakfast, lunch and dinner.

She made a new batch and showed me how it’s done. She gave me a theory lesson first and then I watched her do it.

There are some things that you can only learn by doing it, but you can get a pretty good idea by watching someone do it.

Having had the opportunity to learn from someone who knew so much and with so much patience, I felt so humbled.

Yesterday, I finally made it at home.

Of course, it didn’t turn up as good as how she made it, but it was pretty good and my resident food critic, my dad, approved it. It should be better the next time.

I am not sure if the recipe for the same interests any of my readers (maybe Ajith Edassery?). I should probably make that into a post for itself. However, if you wish to try it, you are welcome to come visit.

Thank you Padma aunty for teaching me!

p.s: Since this was about cooking and my time with Lucky’s mom, I have missed out on two important characters to the story. His dad and his brother. I spent about a week in his home and loved hanging out with both of them.

Lucky’s dad is a tea lover and a maths teacher. His brother is a traveler like me. We had so much in common to talk about and we bonded very well.

Traveling exposes your body and mind to experiences that you are not used to. It should, otherwise what is the point of traveling? When things do not always agree with your body, you need your first aid kit.

I have had a first aid kit since the first time I traveled abroad. I have used something from it on every single trip. When you live in India you do not realize how cheap and accessible medication is. We have a drug store on every corner in any major town.

To state the obvious, pack your prescription pills and carry your prescription. Carrying your prescription is important especially when you travel abroad. It might be illegal to posses the pill you have with you and without a prescription you will get into a lot of trouble.

Emergency First Aid Kit

• Band-aids: Buy them in various sizes. I like the traditional Johnson and Johnson fabric band-aids. The PVC band-aids come off easily from my skin.
• Antibacterial and Antifungal cream: I have a tube of Betadine. I have used this on every trip. Its useful to clean cuts and wounds and lasts forever.
• Surgical tape: Another lifesaver. I use this in places where band-aids are ineffective. For example, if your sole is cut from a swimming pool, band-aids will peel off easily. I would clean it first with soap and warm water and then apply some Betadine and then cover with surgical tape.
• Fever medicine: I pack Dolo 650 paracetamol tablets. Ibuprofen is a popular choice in the west. Must have for any first aid kit.
• Medicine for acidity and gas: I pack Digene. Even if you have strong stomach, sometimes you need to pop one of these pills to feel better before bed. I also have Zinctac 150 for acidity.
• Antidiarrheal pill: To stop diarrhea when you need it. I try to buy a pill named Roko when its available.
• Oral rehydration salts: I keep a few of these all the time. Its very useful when you are thoroughly dehydrated by walking in the sun or after an episode of loose motion or diarrhea.
• Cough relief tablets: A few Strepsils should do.
• Pain relief balms: You know when to use it. I carry a small jar of Vicks vaporub.
• Vaseline: For moisturizing skin and lips when you travel to cold areas.

Apart from these, I also carry a few more pills just in case. I never really had to use any of them thankfully.

• Avomine: For dizziness, motion sickness and vomiting.
• Combiflam and Brufen: Ibuprofen as a pain killer.
• Albendazole tablets: To kill parasites and tape worms in the digestive system. If you have never used one of these, consult a doctor. I was advised not to use more than one in a period of 6 months.

I am not doctor, so if you have pills on this list that you have never used before, ask your doctor about it. Especially if you have other medical conditions or if you are pregnant.

Remember that no pill can be a substitute for good nutrition and adequate sleep.

Safe travels.