Fast forward to today. Dylan and I went to Walmart to pick up a paper shredder (and I also found some plant pots). She has been sitting in the shopping cart with her cover and knows the pocket where I keep the yogurt melts. Those little melts have a sour punch so I always keep the sippy cup on hand. Usually in my third hand because the other two are pushing the cart and handing Dylan a melt. Oh wait…I don’t have a third hand. That is probably why while picking out a shredder, I absent-mindedly set her cup on the shelf and walked off without it.

“Miss….miss…MISS! Here is your cup.” I looked back to see a Walmart employee walking towards me holding out Dylan’s cup. The employee took a look over my shoulder at Dylan, then shot me a disapproving glare. I was mildly defensive over my forgetfulness of the cup. I turned back to Dylan and the little runt has a plastic garden pot over her head. I also notice she is missing a sock. I don’t know what opened my eyes to all of this, but then I noticed her sweater was covered in green baby food. Her mouth and cheeks had left over prunes. Her hair was sticking out like a scene from Something About Mary and now she was chewing a pot off a shelf from Walmart!! Oh. My. Goodness. No.

It is happening to me.

My baby only has one sock and looks like she got in a food fight with Shrek. It’s not that I don’t have time to keep her in clean clothes and keep her cheeks wiped off. Or even to worry too much about Walmart germs. Having a baby helps me realize what is important. In addition, she looks cute to me all the time. She looks cute covered in poop. Seriously, she does.

I don’t know when I started allowing her out of the house all messy, but it happened. Today. I find it awesome that I didn’t care. I smiled at her because she looked so adorable and she smiled back with a giggle.

Dylan turned 9 Months old today. She had her 9 Month check-up today too.

The stats:  18 pounds (50th percentile) and 29.5 inches long (99th percentile)

The goods news…Dylan’s tear ducts are completely clear, open and no longer blocked. Her head shape and neck issue (torticollis) is also on the up and up! She will probably only have a few more visits with her psychical therapist. We received reassurance that her weight is good considering her fickleness with the bottle, probably because she loves her solid foods. Table foods are next. That’s about it for her appointment.

Here at home, Jared and I have noticed some big developements in Dylan. She has traded in her inch-worm crawl for a very effective military crawl. After a month of offering -and Dylan playing with - puffs and yogurt melts, she is finally putting them in her mouth. After a couple days of chewing her fingers with the puffs, she figured out that a better idea is to pull her fingers out. She effectively puts the sippy cup in her mouth and sometimes lifts it high enough to get anything. Dylan is saying “Da-da” now which thrills Jared of course.  She is better equipped to keep up with dogs, so we are practicing ‘gentle’. We’ve graduated to the highchair in restaurants and the shopping cart seat. Some things are the same…she still loves music, books, being outside and her bath remains her happiest time.

Dylan is showing she has a little temper too. Take away a toy she wants or change her direction and she lets it out…an intense short lived fake cry. I was falling for it at first until one day I just laughed at her and she started laughing and went about her business. For now I’ve got her number.

Jared asked me what felt longer…being pregnant with her or her being ‘out’ here with us. Either way, time is flying by and Dylan is changing so fast. I’m starting to have a hard time with the speed of life. I am so happy she is growing, learning and becoming mobile but I already miss her contentment in just being held for an hour. She actually flipped the pages of her book tonight. It’s just crazy.

Well, off to bed. Dylan still prefers a 6am wake-up. 

Although I am sure this wouldn’t be to bad on a pita chip, I can only recommend this recipe for baby food. An avocado is a super food and is believed to be one of the only foods a person could exclusively live on. It contains the ‘good’ fat, has a great texture for baby’s first foods and is great for brain development. But good luck getting your baby to eat a mashed up avocado without some help and you will not find avocado in any store bought baby foods! I was determined to somehow get Dylan to eat an avocado and it is the only food she has ever refused. After eating some Mexican food and good ol’ guacamole one night, it hit me…baby friendly guacamole!

I mashed up an avocado with a banana (with my fork) and viola, Dylan took it right down. I’ve perfected the recipe now. Two avocados and 2-3 bananas (depending on the size) with two full tablespoons of all natural non-sweetened apple sauce. The apple sauce keeps the guacamole from turning brown to quickly. I freeze the extra in ice cube trays. Once frozen, I store them in a freezer bag and pull one or two out every day with lunch or dinner. I defrost in the microwave for about 20 seconds which keeps it cool. This all takes me 5 minutes tops.

A piece of info I came across…bananas are very porous and just about everything gets thru the thick skin, so you might want to considered organic.

Enjoy!

It’s all jokes now but Friday night I was saying my goodbye’s to Dylan and fighting to stay conscious. One moment I was pouring Dylan’s bath and about 3 moments later I was struggling to make it to my bed in an attempt to relive the pain. Jared didn’t have Dylan in the bath two minutes when I starting spouting demands to call his brother to come stay at the house because we were going to the hospital. My pain got worse and before that naked little baby even had a diaper on, I was demanding an ambulance. Some major organ had exploded inside my body and I was dying. I just knew it.

When all the paramedics arrived, all they could talk about was that I had a kidney stone. Since they were going to save my life this night, I wasn’t going to tell them how big of idiots they were being. I’ve passed many kidney stones in my day, but this was death. This wasn’t a stone….my appendix had burst, or my ovary had exploded or my stomach had popped!

Once in the ambulance, I was offered morphine. I declined. All I knew of morphine was that is was reserved for the last moments of life or for those in the military who had lost a limb. About half-way thru the trip, I was almost unconscious from the pain and my paramedic gave me a shot in my IV.  He made the decision to give me the morphine. I went from a 10 on the pain scale to a 9.5. He gave me another shot of it and I regained control. I had hope again.

The nurse at the hospital kept questioning me, “is it a stabbing pain, a throbbing pain or an aching pain??” None of the above! Stabbing infers that I feel like someone is stabbing me, nope…different than that. Throbbing means I can feel my heart beat in the pain, so no. Aching reminds me of my arthritic knee and nope, it’s way worse than that.  The pain is worse than labor, now take me into surgery!

The nurse gave me some medicine that took my pain away completely…along with my mind. A CT scan and an hour later, the doctor came in and literally said to me, “you are now the proud mother of two healthy kidney stones.” Oh gosh. So I was the idiot. Everyone else was right, I did have kidney stones. Then the doctor told me I would be going home to pass the remaining two on my own. Now he was the idiot.

Idiot or not, I couldn’t convince him to let me stay, so now I am home with my Percocet and Zofran. Just waiting.

Wait a second friends. Before we go any further, maybe this can all be resolved by checking in with Webster and getting our definition of contentment:

1. assenting to or willing to accept circumstances, a proposed course of action, etc.
2. peace of mind; mental or emotional satisfaction
3. the state of being contented;  satisfaction; ease of mind
4. mentally or emotionally satisfied with things as they are

Does that help at all? Sort of. Or are those just more bad words? Being satisfied doesn’t exactly have the same allure has being amazingly happy or being madly in love.

Here is a biblical definition of contentment (then I’ll get to my point):

A state of mind in which one’s desires are confined to his lot whatever it may be. It is opposed to envy, ambition and anxiety. It arises from the inward disposition, and is the offspring of humility. It is knowing the greatness of the divine promise; and our own unworthiness; and the peace hereafter.                                                                              -Easton’s 1897 Bible Dictionary

Sticking with the notion that being content is a negative, what’s the alternative? Being discontent, always longing for more, never having our thirst quenched, being exhausted in the search for more. The constant feeling of desire is painful and tiring after a while. If you are always wanting something,  to be married, to be single, to have a baby, for our baby to grow up, to graduate college, to get a better job, to be in better shape, to have a bigger house and/or to have more money…doesn’t that just mean you are not living in the moment ? Here we go, living in the moment sounds appealing to us! Sounds so easy but living in the moment is so much harder than allowing our desires to take hold of us, to control us. Living in the moment and enjoying our current phase of life takes faith and confidence.

Pricilla Shirer in “The Resolution for Woman” redefines contentment like this:

It’s a balance. A holy equilibrium. A genuine gratitude for what the day brings, all while maintaining a controlled anticipation for what tomorrow may offer.  By choosing contentment, you’re not getting rid of your desires;  you’re just demanding that they assume an appropriate, humble position in your life. You give yourself permission to enjoy fully the things you have, the person you are and the life you’re currently living while continuing to harbor the dreams that keep you growing and stretching into the future.

For me, being content takes practice and I have to keep myself in check. Especially while at the grocery store when I see that Ryan Reynolds is gracing a magazine cover or when Ryan Gosling comes out with a new movie. I have the hardest time staying satisfied when I walk the beach and gaze up at the beautiful homes. The times I regret most are very recent. Dylan was teething and waking up some nights up to 8 times. I prayed for this phase to pass as quickly as possible. I was miserably tired and had lost all my patience with those top two teeth. But now that her sleep is sound, she doesn’t need me to comfort her. She sleeps perfectly content all night. During the teething, she would collapse over my shoulder and want nothing more to sleep in my arms. It sounds so sweet now and when the next tooth comes and I am frustrated with the sleep interruptions, I hope that I can live in the moment and cherish the time.

I have resolved to be content in my current phase of life. It’s going pretty well and I’ve learned contentment isn’t a bad word…or a bad choice.

I handmade everyone’s gift this past Christmas and this project was probably the easiest. I originally found the idea in Fresh Style magazine, the Summer 2011 issue, pictured here:

I loved the concept and made some minor adjustments to better fit into our home. (I’ve included their instructions at the bottom.)

Supplies:

Paint marker(s), brown or black

Wood glue

Wood numbers 1 thru 6

A piece of wood 6 feet long (I chose Birch plywood and had it cut 10 inches wide)

All-in-one stain and varnish; 2 colors

Wall hook

Rope

Power drill, measuring tape, level and pencil

I found all my supplies at Joanne’s Fabric , Home Depot and a few in my garage.

I started with staining the wood ruler oak and the numbers dark walnut. I used left over spray stain and varnish from another project. Once the stain dried over night, I used my measuring tape to mark each inch with a pencil. Then I used the level and paint marker to make the inch lines. I decided in advance to hang the BIG Ruler 6 inches over the floor to clear the molding. Therefore, the 1st foot is 6 inches from the bottom of the ruler. Every 6 inches, I made the line a little longer and for every foot, even longer. I would make this decision based on how wide you chose to make your ruler. Once you have completed the lines, it’s time to glue on the wood numbers using the wood glue. I placed the numbers on by sight and it did the trick. The glue will dry clear and I let it sit over night.

The last step is to drill out the holes and tie on the rope. Hang your hook and you are done!

The instructions in Fresh Style reads as follows: Use an all-in-one stain and varnish to cover a 6-foot length of 6×1 -inch board. Mark inches with a permanent marker. After drilling pilot holes, attach painted house numbers with screws. Attach a hanger to the back and mount on the wall one foot from the floor.

Best of Luck! Let me know how it turns out!

It was probably 2003-ish, an undergraduate student studying psychology, when our professor announced he was going to lead us thru a meditative state, a vision. You could hear a pin drop. These professors threw everything at us attempting to help us become non-reactive and to appear to be without judgment. We also did a lot of self-exploration, mostly because we couldn’t be trusted with any other poor soul. But we had never been told to close our eyes and be mildly hypnotized. A few students decided to leave the room. The rest of us were just too curious. Forgive me because I can’t remember how I got there but within a few minutes, thru his direction, I was starting to piece together a brief moment, a future memory. I could choose any point in my future and I think I chose the typical ‘where do you see yourself in 10 years’ route. I was told to envision and ‘gather up’ what I wanted in life.

So here is what I saw: I was knelt down in my backyard surrounded by gardening tools, tending to flowers and plants. A lot of flowers and they were in beds at the edge of very thick green grass. There was a small lake in the far distance that I could see out of the corner of my eye. My yard only yielded a small view of the lake but I knew it was there.  The view was small only because of the large trees, not other homes or buildings. I looked around and saw a baby monitor and I knew I had a small child napping in their nursery. This is probably why I had the urge to stay close to my home instead of walking down to the lake. I had pets that were close by enjoying the sunshine. Funny as it may sound, the last moment of my vision was of the bottom third of my future husband. All I could see was that he was wearing black shoes and black pants, holding a case filled with work he had brought home. He had come directly outside to see me upon getting home from work. More importantly than what I saw, was what I felt. I was completely happy and whole as a person.

The future memory was over as quick as it started and I quickly realized my friend in class was crying.  I initially thought she was moved with happiness like I was, until she stormed out saying she couldn’t see anything. The inability to create a vision really upset her. I have often wondered about my friend. The same reason I wonder about her is the same reason I chose this as my first post. All and all, over the past 8-9 years, I have been blessed with everything I envisioned. I even live within an eye-shot of a lake. What I think is amazing, is that In 2003 I didn’t know how to grow a plant, let alone care for a child or nurture a marriage. I was learning and growing, however. Over the years, I lost sight of my vision and was also unable to recapture it. I’ve gone down many dead end roads and been forced to reroute. But who hasn’t I guess? And I am better for it now. Now that I live every day in what I hoped for myself, I still take it for granted sometimes and often forget that I have been blessed with all that I need to be happy.

I think you get my drift, friends. So, I’ll stop with the clichés. Bottom line…I am who I am because of everything I have already lived thru. With God’s grace and overflowing blessings; with my family’s love, friend’s support, my husband’s devotion and my daughter’s trust and wonder, I am becoming myself. Every day.  In addition to this, I am everything I am because I had hope and a vision of love in my life.  But I am not done yet!