Bird On A Wire

Storm Watch 2010

2010-01-05T23:42:32Z

In 2005, there were approximately 8,500 blogs that targeted parenting, according to Technorati. Who know’s how many there are now. Nobody really knows how many mommy and daddy blogs there are. There are issues with how things are tagged and how people self-identify. Even the term ‘mommy blogger’ causes heart burn- some own it and some find it to be one-dimensional and, in a way, offensive. (go figure)

Neilsen, who published the Top 50 Mom Bloggers, monitors between 10,000 to 13,000 mom blogs at any one time and plans to keep tracking trends across the community with the help of a mom blog advisory board that will help select future rounds of the Power Mom 50 list. According to Jessica Hogue, who spearheaded the Top 50 Project , “Mom blogs today are the epicenter for products reviews” . “We know that Mom is sort of at the center of all, if not many, purchase decisions. Increasingly, there’s been interest in what moms are talking about online.”

The Mommy Blogging community is a powerful one, no doubt. But are Mommy blogs the holy grail? Some corporations see it that way. Witness Walmart, Lifetime, Johnson & Johnson, Fridgidare, Samsung, and HP. The list grows by the minute.

But despite its influence as a demographic, the Mommy Blogging community is stooping to a new LOW. While diversity and location often lead to what’s been referred to as “mommy wars”, over such things as breastfeeding , cosleeping, and even work vs stay at home, this is something quite extrordinary. It seems that they’ve all gone back to highschool. (again) I say again, because this event is as cylical as the seasons, a ominous as a hurricane. We all know its coming, and stand frozen, sytmied to stop it.

My approach is to stand in the corner, cover my head and watch. Then as if struck by some fairy goon’s magic toilet plunger (thanks Jess) I can take it no more. And here we are.

They cackle, they peck, they scratch. (Often scratching each others eyeballs out virtually) They hate, vitriolically. Libeling each other freely and hell and be damned to stop them. Often struck with what I call Gottlieb envy, (lovingly named for Jessica, who sparked the Motrin flurry), they pile on to a perceived wrong without investigating the facts.

They divide into camps, “My clique is better than your cliquqe”, I’m going to #1 Conference, but she…she’s going to #4 conference , hurump.

They align against an unseen enemy with pseudo authority: Engaging armies of more than 80 to speak to crowds of a mere 300; spending months roping and wrangling sponsors with little more than a tin cup approach. And spend weekends in exotic cities like New York and Chicago acting more like sailors on shore leave than women and professionals. I ask you, Why would a corporation want to sponsor that?

If you’re a part of the mom, mommy blogger, BlogHer, Blissdom, Type-A Mom, Mom2.0, MomDot (shudder) or any of the myriad of new groups and conferences that have formed, step back.

Watch your network interactions.
Pay attention to what your “mentors” say and do.
If you’re following someone’s else’s lead- is it in line with your true beliefs ? Or do you find yourself just following along?
Are you gaining any valuable information from your participation in these events? Or are you just using the event for a “get away” weekend ?
Are you actively participating in the sessions? Or are you sitting back waiting on someone to “tell” you what to do?

Don’t go unprepared to your next conference session! Before you head off headlong to the ‘next’ great event, check out the transcripts and ebooks at The girlfriends.guide to the business of blogging. Twelve top rated bloggers presented, with actionable takeaways and nuts and bolts tips and information in each session. After watching these videos you’re sure to have the inside track when it comes to participating in your next conference workshops. If you’re looking for sponsors, grab a copy of Sponsor Magic. An easy to read guide to getting and keeping the sponsors for your business or blog, that you really want and how to keep them!

I’ve watched this blogging phenomenon for several years, more than I care to count. And every year it grows more powerful. The winds are blowing. Batten your hatches!

The 2010 storm promises to be a Category 5. Feathers will fly!

Vote For Your Favorite Mommy Blogger (blogherald.com)
Babble Top 50 Mommy Bloggers (whitetrashmom.com)
I’d like to thank the academy… (thiswomanswork.com)
The 140 Characters Conference “Call For Speakers” (blogworldexpo.com)
Renowned Corporate Blogger Lindsay Lebresco Joins Converseon as Account Director and ‘Chief Mom Officer’ (prweb.com)

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Southern Pralines

2009-12-29T21:21:35Z

Typical southern sweets like these Southern Pecan Pralines grace almost every southern household during the holdiays. They’re not terribly difficult to make and you can change the flavor a bit by adding a little almond extract in place of some of the vanilla. But they’re yummy, creamy and rich!

I make these every year. (let the sisters in-law make the divinity and fudge!)

note: Don’t create any unnecessary humidity in your kitchen while you’re making these!

Don’t turn on the dishwasher or cook pasta or boil water for anything.. Remember the rules for making fudge..same go here!

Also, invest the $4.50 in a candy thermometer you can get it at Walmart, you’ll be making these again!

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups sugar
1 1/2 cups packed light brown sugar
1/8 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons dark corn syrup
1 cup evaporated milk
2 tablespoons butter
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups pecan halves

Directions

Butter the sides of a heavy 2-quart saucepan. Put the sugars, salt, corn syrup, milk, and butter in saucepan. Over medium heat, stir mixture constantly with a wooden spoon until sugars have dissolved and mixture comes to a boil. Continue to cook to a soft ball stage, approximately 236 degrees F on a candy thermometer. (If you do a cold water test, drizzle a drop of candy into a glass of cold water, the ball of candy will flatten between your fingers when you take it out of the water.) Remove from heat and allow it to cool for 10 minutes.

Add the vanilla and nuts, and beat with a spoon by hand for approximately 2 minutes or until candy is slightly thick and begins to lose its gloss. Quickly drop heaping tablespoons onto waxed paper. If the candy becomes stiff while you’re dropping it on to the wax paper, add a few drops of hot water.

How To Make Candied Apples (howcast.com)
Mrs TWC’s White Hot Chocolate (winecommonsewer.com)
Caramel Apple Muffins (momblognetwork.com)
[food] Knot rolls, per my mother’s family (jlake.com)
“More” Cupcakes (blogs1.marthastewart.com)
Recipe: Silky Buttermilk Pie with Blueberries (seattletimes.nwsource.com)

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Southern Christmas Fruitcake

2009-12-29T21:23:08Z

This fruitcake recipe has been around our house since Noah was a first mate. More cake than fruit, and the added Grand Mariner makes it extra yummy. Might want to keep the cake away from the small ones. They’ll love the fruitcake cookies from earlier! Mind you, this ain’t ya mamma’s fruitcake and certainly not the one you’ll find in the grocery store. You know the one, the little bricks from the Claxton Company are southern staples, but this is the real deal and good enough to convert even the staunchest anti-fruitcake member of the family!

Ingredients

For the Simple Syrup:

1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup water
1 1/2 tablespoons lemon zest, cut in strips
2 tablespoons lemon juice

For the Cake:

1/2 pound mixed dried fruits, such as blueberries, cranberries, cherries, raisins, and chopped apricots
1/2 pound, (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons granulated sugar
2 ounces almond paste
4 large eggs
1/2 cup Grand Marnier, or other orange-flavored liqueur
2 cups bleached all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon ground cinnamon
Pinch freshly grated nutmeg
1/2 cup slivered almonds, toasted
1/2 cup pecan pieces
1/2 cup walnut pieces
1/4 cup bourbon

Directions

Make a simple-syrup by combining the sugar and water in a medium-size heavy-bottomed saucepan over medium-high heat. Add the lemon zest and juice and bring to a boil, stirring to dissolve the sugar. Boil for 2 minutes and remove from the heat.

Combine the dried fruits in a large mixing bowl. Pour the simple-syrup over them, toss to coat and let steep for 5 minutes. Strain and reserve the syrup.

Cream the butter, sugar and almond paste together in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle at low speed, occasionally scraping down the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula. Beat until the mixture is fluffy and smooth, about 2 minutes. Add the eggs 1 at a time, mixing in between each addition on low speed and scraping down the sides of the bowl as necessary. Add 1/4 cup of the Grand Marnier and mix to incorporate.

Combine the flour, baking powder, salt, cinnamon and nutmeg in a medium-size mixing bowl and blend well. Add this mixture 1/2 cup at a time to the butter mixture with the mixer on low speed, each time mixing until smooth, about 2 minutes. Scrape down the sides of the bowl as necessary. The batter will be thick.

Add the warm fruit and all of the nuts a little at a time, mixing well. Scrape down the sides of the bowl and the paddle.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Lightly grease a bundt pan with butter or non-stick baking spray. Pour the batter into the pan and bake until golden brown and the top springs back when touched, about 45 to 50 minutes (turning the pan to ensure even browning after 30 minutes.)

Cool the cake for 20 minutes in the pan, then remove and continue to cool upside-down on wire racks.

Make tiny holes with a toothpick randomly on the rounded end of the cake. Combine the remaining simple syrup with the remaining 1/4 cup of Grand Marnier and the bourbon. Wrap the cake in a layer of cheesecloth and pour 1/4 cup of the syrup over the top of each cake. Store in a plastic zip bag for 3 or 4 days until the cake is slightly stale. Sprinkle syrup over cakes once every 2 to 3 days until all of the syrup is used. Let the cakes age for up to 3 weeks before eating.

For the Whiskey Sauce:

3 cups heavy cream

1/2 cup bourbon

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons cornstarch

Combine 2 3/4 cups of the cream with the bourbon and sugar in a medium-size nonstick saucepan over medium-heat. Stir to dissolve the sugar.

In a small bowl, dissolve the cornstarch in the remaining 1/4 cup cream. Add this to the cream-and-bourbon mixture and simmer stirring often, until the mixture thickens, 4 to 5 minutes. Remove from the heat and serve warm with the fruitcake.

The sauce may be stored, after it has cooled, in an airtight container for 24 hours. When ready to serve, warm over low heat.

Christmas noms! (thinkingsofalili.blogspot.com)
Cake recipe: Lady grey tea and honey madeleines (telegraph.co.uk)
Recipe: Coconut-orange thumb print cookies (seattletimes.nwsource.com)

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Fruit Cake Cookies

2009-12-29T19:12:21Z

These yummie goodies have been a Christmas standard since I was a child. My Aunt Betty, who loved to cook, discovered this recipe in a Southern Living magazine (I haven’t a clue what issue) But she made them and they were such a hit, they began making an annual appearance. We all looked foraward to the beautiful boxes of cookies from Aunt Betty! They’re rich, but oh so good and even the fruitcake haters in your house will love these!

Yield: 9 dozen

Ingredients

1/4 cup butter or margarine, softened
1/2 cup firmly packed dark brown sugar
2 large eggs, separated
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1 1/2 tablespoons milk
2 tablespoons orange juice
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 (8-ounce) package chopped dates
1/2 pound red candied cherries, quartered
1/2 pound candied pineapple,chopped
1 (15-ounce) package golden raisins
3 cups chopped pecans

Preparation

Beat butter at medium speed with an electric mixer until creamy; gradually add sugar, beating well. Add egg yolks, beating just until blended.

Combine baking soda and milk, stirring until soda dissolves; add orange juice.

Combine flour and next 4 ingredients. Combine 1/2 cup flour mixture, dates, and next 4 ingredients, tossing gently to coat.

Add remaining flour mixture to butter mixture, alternately with milk mixture, beginning and ending with flour mixture. Gradually stir fruit mixture into batter.

Beat egg whites at high speed with an electric mixer until stiff peaks form; fold into batter.

Drop dough by level tablespoonfuls onto lightly greased baking sheets.

Bake at 300° for 15 to 18 minutes or until lightly browned.

Note: Cookies may be stored in an airtight container up to 1 week or frozen up to 3 months.

Maple Bacon Cupcake Recipe (bacontoday.com)
Oh, Do You Know The Muffin Man? (wcs4.blogspot.com)
Honey Cake to ring in the New Year (gothamgal.com)
Winter Mandarin Pound Cake (momblognetwork.com)
Brown Sugar Cookies (coskay.com)

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Have A Little Fun

2009-12-29T21:30:16Z

My friends at VW (Volkswagen) have a new twist on an old idea. Put a little fun in every thing you do!

Remember the piano at FAO Schwartz in Big? Enjoy this and pass it on!

Toys R Us to Open FAO Schwarz In Store Boutiques (shoppingblog.com)
Self-Parking Car from Stanford and Volkswagen (singularityhub.com)
Volkswagen revs up to race Toyota (financialpost.com)
“Making search more musical” and related posts (googleblog.blogspot.com)

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Because It Is What It Is

2009-10-28T18:27:35Z

I feel my self slipping.

..sliding.

No, silly, this is NOT about depression.

If you want to read about that cruise over to Dooce.com and read her rants, um touching story about postpartum depression and other assorted crap thoughtful musings on parenting. And how she’s in the Neilsen top 25 and blah blah blah.

This is not about a death in the family, a wedding, a funeral, or leaving on a jet plane. There are no references here to Blogher (oops), Drama (Trisha’s got that covered) or diapers (thanks for the mental picture, Renee)

Since this blog was reborn, several years ago, I’ve loved being a mommy blogger. I’ve written vehemently in support of the community, shared what wisdom I’ve acquired over the years as a Mom, and now a Grand-mom; followed and read with great abandon, some of the most touching, cogent and funny women I’ve ever known. I even jumped the shark and wrote a couple of years of reviews for some great companies, who seemingly were interested in the ‘parent’ game. I’m feeling less and less connected to the ‘mom’ community today. I have found that even though we share the same passions, we don’t share much in the way of logic and proportion.

I’ve pissed some people off made some people really unhappy with my opinions of the direction of mommy blogging, politics (The Queen of Spain, yeah that’s what she calls herself, actually said that conservatives don’t deserve to be called human. If you want to read pure liberal drivel, Google her) and life in my little corner of the world. (changing but still not in full bore change)

While it wasn’t my intent to make these people unhappy, it was and IS my intent to send a WAKE UP CALL. Its a thankless job, but some body’s got to do it. Might as well be me!

Ever the one with the target on her back, I’ve run headlong into the abyss. I still carry the baggage of my youth.

But I’m tired. The slightest touch hurts, my muscles ache, just ache. And I’m sick and tired of being sick…and tired.

I dread the damned doorbell, a neighbor’s visit. The thought of a phone call from a relative, makes me physically nauseous. (Unless of course its ‘Little Man‘ with a report about kindergarten) I’d rather do hard time than deal with the drama of extended family and relations. I’ve slipped, quietly (yeah that’s not like me at all) into the background, hoping no one would notice. And the holidays are coming up..I DO NOT WANT TO DEAL with the holidays.

I’ve written and killed more articles than I can count. I’m tired of the hate mail. I’m not afraid of it. Just tired of it.

I’ve thrown myself into my work, writing my Newsletter, taking care of clients, coding, phoning, dealing with all that I need to do. Over and over again. No really, over and over again. Because nothing says lovin like something reworked 18 times !

I’ve dealt with the untimely death of my laptop, constant crashes on my desktop (are you listening HP?? Good. Because these pieces of technology that you have produced are not worth the thousands I have invested in them! 13 crashes in 13 days?? And your technical support is well, less than supportive!) Not that I mind being on hold for 20 minutes or anything, only to be told to reboot my computer! And all for the small price of $75 annually…Sheesh! NO MORE!

I’ve dealt with my slow ticking biological clock, yes menopause thy name is EVIL. Hot flashes, night sweats, dry skin and well hell you look it up Dr. Google can give you symptomology for days. I’m learning to deal with a metabolism that has slowed to a snails pace, hair loss, (my once glorious mane of double thick curls is now straight, thin and awful, simply awful) And, I’ve become that crazy cat lady. (Don’t ASK)

I have piled on weight, despite no real change in diet or exercise. My closet, such as it is (Rusty is the clothes horse of the family) is filled with vestages of my past life. A life where I was a different woman. Where sundresses and silk , high heels and pearls were as much a calling card as my professional introduction.

I silently question myself, my personal strength. I wonder how I got here, to this place. I have learned to be a Noticer (thank you Andy), to live Fearless (Max, you hit another home run) and learned a lot about Faith, and Fortitude (Kathy’s dancin with the stars this season!). I incessantly debate myself on the smallest of choices. I curse the choices I have made, the ones that were life changers. And revel in the bigger ones that brought me face on to who I am, and who I was. I still believe in love. Despite the randomness of it in my life.

I am privileged to be professionally aligned with people, that most only dream of being in the same room with. The people that most only watch on the big screen or pay Netflix dues to visit with. I’m not bragging, its pure fact. I’ll happily talk with you about my rolodex. Just ask.

I am more privileged to be a mother, a grandmother, a daughter and a friend.

Maybe Carly Simon said it best…

And maybe …

that’s just life.

(With credit to Bill Clinton, “It depends on what your meaning of the word “is” is.)

Lee Woodruff: What Do Women Want? What I Learned at Blogher (huffingtonpost.com)
The Internet’s calling, you need to step up your game (mikemoran.com)
Are Social Media Rockstars An Endangered Species? Or The Future of Advertising? (mizzinformation.com)
The new PR: Nimble Twitter responses make grass roots easy (or hard) (dailyfinance.com)
Bits: As Daddy Bloggers Attract Readers, Marketers Follow (bits.blogs.nytimes.com)
Blogger reveals secret identity, gets fired (cnn.com)

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Mommy Bloggers Will Not Be Broken!

2009-10-28T18:28:04Z

I am not a rock star mommy blogger and honestly if it takes selling out to be on top , I’m out !
I am opinionated, sometimes snarky, but never vulgar. (see Girl Raised In The South)
If they (or anyone (ahem)) offers to publish my book, I’m all over it.
I do not consider celebrity gossip sites w/7 paid editors a blog.
If they (or anyone) tried to hire me, I would consider it (dangling participle and all).
I Love Comments (seriously I do).
I have 1 dog, 1 cat, kids, grand-kids, a husband (sometimes) & a melange of extended relatives.
I don’t know if I like dogs, cats, kids, husbands or relatives.
Being frugal doesn’t mean being broke. It keeps you from being that way.

With that said. I made the mistake, and I say mistake because the printed word can often be misunderstood, of commenting on a blog post yesterday that was in many ways spurred by a conversation I was witness to but, had no part in directly. All things being equal, another conversation I had in prior days, with a client brought the same issues up. When, Christine bravely posted her The Truth About The Walmart ElevenMoms, she was trying to quell a firestorm that she clearly witnessed on twitter as well. Her post, beautifully written, detailed her relationship with the Walmart Corporation, including compensation for her “consulting” services, reviews and more. She took the step up and put it all out there. Sadly… she put it all out there.

Let me say now, I haven’t been approached by WalMart and honestly, I don’t fit their demo. Don’t think that I would ever be considered for anything they do. (slight a greeter position, I’m over 50 you know) So, there’s no jealousy of any of the WalMart Moms, (all 22 of them now) on my part. I have at times questioned why, WalMart doesn’t see my age demo as valuable, but as to my being a part of this group. NOT Happening! Disclaimer out of the way, Christine did detail her various forms of compensation from the company for what ever it is that she’s working on at a given time. Liz from Mom101 commented as follows:

…I still believe “products” are not compensation, however, nor are plane tickets. You do a job, especially for a large corporation, you should get paid for it. (And I’m not talking about product reviews which I continue to believe should not be compensated.)

When we as moms–all of us–are willing to work for links or “exposure” or gift cards, we make it increasingly challenging for those who follow us to be valued for their work.

I agreed with Liz’s comment and then I stepped into the POO. I questioned the seemingly tied in affiliation with Lifetime. Now, again, since words don’t carry tone, its up to the commenter to use proper punctuation and phrasing, so that a question, doesn’t come out sounding like a statement. I screwed up there. Yet another project that I have no interest in being a part of. I don’t watch Lifetime. The channel holds no interest for me. I’m probably not their demo either. So what. I was told in no uncertain terms that it was a mere coincidence that the same women who were part of the Walmart project were also a part of the Lifetime project. Ok. No harm no foul. I was accused of diminishing these women (albeit unfairly) and that was never my intent. I’m sure, because I know these women, (most of them anyway) that what they say is the absolute, unvarnished truth. They are all hardworking moms, beautiful writers and I commend them for their sometimes heart wrenching posts, and the beauties that they are.

Lets do get one thing perfectly clear. No matter WHO you are. I don’t care about your compensation or the compensatory relationship that you have with any company in detail. If however, you put that information out there, YOU detail it. Then the door is open for comment. Not only from me, but from the rest of the interwebs, the media and well you get my drift. I still think you’ve short-changed yourselves. But you are happy and that is all that matters in the grand scheme.

I am not a hater of mommies, I am one. I am not jealous of the Wal Mart moms, read the above paragraph. Talk to me, I honestly don’t care. I will admit that there are those who are jealous and to those people, I say, get off your lazy backside and work. The work that a blogger does to get noticed on the vast plane that is PR and Publicity is hard work. It doesn’t just happen over night, I don’t care who tells you it can be done. (ok maybe once it has happened) But the pros and I’m sure these women will be glad to tell you that they’ve worked hard, grown their networks, made the connections, engaged in the conversation, sacrificed time that they would have loved to spend otherwise and have made names for themselves. Now, if you still think its easy, call me. I’ll show you step by step what it takes. I’ve had clients quit. Give up mid project because they thought it was going to be easy. Its a business, folks. If you’re game for the business, then say you are. If not, then shut up and sit down.

There are things that the WalMart Moms and I will never agree on, there are a lot of things we do. To the ladies I regularly communicate with, and respect, if my comments were misunderstood and you felt slighted, I apologize. That was NOT my intention nor my message.

Recent blog posts, newspaper articles, radio and tv news reports, video and more are all leading with a negative message. Are we giving them reason? Damn straight we are!

Just check any of these links and you make your own decision. Like it or not, its gotten down right ugly!

Do Mommy Bloggers Need to Grow UP?

Threatened At BlogHer

Don’t Call Me A Mommy Blogger

Not All Bloggers Are Like That

The Age of Mommy Blogger Discontent

The Year That Shame Died

“Sponsor Me” Smackdown

In Which I Piss Off Lots of People and Do Not Care

The Mob Mentality of Mommy Bloggers (Ok, Loren is an ass. I’ll mince no words, but once you get past his attitude, you will understand what’s being said)

There are great women in the community, doing great things. More often than not, they’re not getting their fair share of attention because of the “negatives” that are continually being reported. The ladies behind Blog With Integrity have gotten great response from the community. If you still don’t know about the program, I suggest you go there now, take the pledge and begin living by the ethics. If you have a blog, not a review site, step back before you reply to a commenter who disagrees. If you run a review site, consider the ramifications of the FTC regulations, don’t forget to disclose properly. And the next reveiw you take on writing, put some real thought into it. Copy and pasting from a press release just sucks. If you’re not creative, or just can’t figure out how to word a post, ask for help. There are loads of great writers in our community. Lots and lots of creative individuals who would be more than happy to help you with ideas. ASK. Above all, conduct yourself in a professional manner. I’m not talking just to moms, I’m talking to the women of the blogosphere. Sad, that in this day and age it has to be the case that a woman has to be the “better man” in the room. But its true. You are and will be held to a higher standard. (not by me, mind you)

To further my case for Mommy Bloggers, I’m resurrecting Remarkable Bloggers©. Randomly, I will present Remarkable Bloggers© , devoted to bloggers who are arresting, bold, conspicuous, eye-catching, marked, noticeable, observable, outstanding, pointed, prominent, pronounced, salient, and striking. Is that you? Do you know a Remarkable Blogger©? Leave a link for me, send me an email, tell me about why you think that blog is remarkable. I’ll visit and you just might see that blog in the next few weeks. I’ll start you out. Go through my blogroll and grab a new blog.

‘Mommy bloggers’ vow to avoid ethical conflicts (cnn.com)
Mommy Bloggers Debate a PR Blackout (blogs.wsj.com)
Thin Mint-y Gate: Wal-mart’s Socia Media Opportunity (AuthenticOrganizations.com)
How Brands Balance Their Diet With Social Media Supplements (web-strategist.com)
My new Gig…Lifetime Moms (rockandrollmama.com)

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You Give Mom A Bad Name

2009-10-31T20:33:48Z

I’m a Mommy blogger. Yep. I am. Proud of it. I work with some GREAT mommies every day, But…there’s just something that needs to be said.

There’s an ill wind blowing in the Mommy Blog community. Reporters, television media, radio and even NPR have weighed in. Unfortunately, the stir, begun by the mention of the FTC’s proposed regulations on bloggers, became the FTC’s plans to bring mommy blogs down. If you’ve read the proposed regulation, the new FTC guidelines say that blog authors should disclose when they’re being compensated by an advertiser to discuss a product. The whole brewhaha goes back a few years at least as far as I can find.

Back in 2007, the FTC wrote:

…requiring disclosure when consumers are paid to talk about a product. Last month, the FTC staff issued a response letter agreeing that when marketers pay consumers to advocate for products by word of mouth, such payment generally must be disclosed. Rather than setting out new guidelines, however, the letter pointed out that word-of-mouth marketing is covered by the Commission’s existing Endorsements and Testimonials Guides. The Guides require disclosure of material connections between a marketer and an endorser, that is, connections that might affect the weight or credibility of what the endorser says. This stems from the common sense principle that when advertisements feature the opinions of consumer endorsers, consumers expect the endorsers to be independent from the advertiser, unless they’re told otherwise.

Maybe, I’m not able to read plain english anymore, but no where in there do I see the phrase mommy blogger, mom blogger, mom or anything vaguely related. I do see the terms consumers and word of mouth and endorsement. Now, I’ll leave you to draw your own education from the FTC documents, and your own lawyer.

My point in bringing this all to light, again, is that Mommy Bloggers have been vilified. From the Newsweek article (that was almost kind to Stephanie Precourt) to the Wall Street Journal article that stopped only a hair short of condemning Jessica Smith for her endorsement of Ford, EASports and Wal Mart, the media has taken advantage (albeit unfair) of the power that Mommy bloggers hold as a demographic and thus, have placed them(the Moms) in the line of fire. Evidence of just how far media will go to jump on the bandwagon, happened recently as Chicago reporter, Dorothy Parker of CBS 2, exposed the “Secrets of Mommy Bloggers”. Secrets? What the heck. The blogger who was interviewed for this segment, was clearly not ready for the interview and was unaware of what the total implication of the segment would be. The media, in this event at least took advantage of that. Bad news for CBS2. (but that’s another post).

The media seems on a feeding frenzy right now, spurred by chumlike press releases on blackouts, paid endorsements and secrets. Comments that run the gammut of telling mommy bloggers to go take care of their children to comparing them to Bridezilla. (Lets don’t forget the Gawker article that implored bloggers to NOT blog for free).

Here are a couple of suggestions to start with:

Stop giving bad interviews, don’t allow the media to prey on your inexperience, and willingness to jump at their every beckon. If you don’t know, say you don’t know. Don’t go headlong into explaining all the ins and outs of your personal business if you don’t want it measured, exploited and spread. If you’re paid for your endorsements, of course disclose them. But, since when is it necessary to expose your “nakedness” to the world? Its not. If you don’t control the interview, the reporter will. I can guarantee you won’t be happy with the outcome.
Stop dropping chum for the Media to latch on to. I know you’re all very proud of the work you do. Proud of your blogs, your accomplishments and justifiably so. But women, and I’m using women here and not mommy bloggers, desended on Chicago recently for the Blogher event. There were, understandibly a large number of mommy bloggers in that group. The immediate press, during and following that event were appalling! I didn’t attend, obviously, but the reports of purported attempts at blackmail, to lobby mayhem and naked advertising to the ridiculous reports of “baby hating” vendors, are almost beyond my comprehension. (mind you I warned of the mouse that roared, pre-Blogher).
Write good press-releases about substance. If you don’t know how to write a press release, ask me or sign up for Joan Stewart’s newsletter and short courses. Stop the insanity.
Stop whining about PR sending you press releases and opportunities. There’s no need to tweet about a bad pitch. We all get em. I’d be willing to guess you’ve even sent a few. If the opp or the release isn’t what you want or care about, just ditch it. Simple enough. Keep the whining up and soon, PR will fix your problem for you. Your email will be empty. (water seeks its own level remember)

What I am seeing amounts to a few cogent remarks made by Naked PR. And ladies, you might just want to listen up here..

BlogHer wasn’t the issue alone. The PR Blackout wasn’t the issue alone. It was the hypocritical combination of moving from “PR people suck for giving us free shit” to “Gimme, gimme, gimme!” in record time! Again, not all bloggers fall into that group, but I seriously found myself wondering at the time how many of those swag-in-arm mommy bloggers at BlogHer previously decided to spit in the face of the people (and companies) offering them those goodies.

That’s the difference between mommy bloggers and others – bloggers behaving badly, and doing it as a group. I can’t recall the last time I saw people up in arms about other blogger groups who get equally valuable review material. Why? Because they don’t act like self-important snobs who demand more than they can justify deserving – at least not on such a grande scale. They don’t tell PR / marketing people to shove off because they can’t juggle their own responsibilities, and then run back when they want free crap again. They also don’t pretend to have an incredible reach for products they simply want as opposed to those best targeted to their readers.

If you want to be taken seriously, if you want to be shown respect, then begin acting like a professional. Don’t wait until tomorrow. Start today. Its more than placing a badge on your site, (note: I’m full on in support of the Blog with Integrity campaign, just not the button). It’s acting and behaving professionally in all aspects of your blogging business and that my friends is the crux of it. You’ve chosen to make your blog a business. You’ve accepted advertising, endorsement opportunities and more.

And then, for the whole world to see, you negate it all.

To borrow from Bon Jovi- You give MOMMY a bad name. Time to fix it.

Guides Concerning the Use ofEndorsements and Testimonials in Advertising: Requestfor Public Comments, 73 Fed. Reg. 72374 (Fed. Trade Comm’n Nov. 28, 2008)

WOMMA Offers Guidance for Marketers and Bloggers Anticipating New FTC Regulations (prweb.com)
Bloggers and Brands: The Stuff Exchange (wiredprworks.com)
Blog with Integrity: Taking Back Our Community, One Post at a Tme (whitetrashmom.com)
The Duchy of Grand Fenwick Vs Chicago (lagniappemarketing.net)
A BlogHer Lesson in Power and Perception (svmoms.com)
Mommy Bloggers Debate a PR Blackout (blogs.wsj.com)

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Blackout-Schmackout (To Quote A Friend)

2009-08-16T19:16:52Z

Judging from the emails I’ve received since my last post on the subject. There’s only a small population following the “PR-Blackout” suggested by another blog, that shall remain nameless. (You all know who it was, no need for further link love to a pure link-bait item)

Most of the mom bloggers, who were beseached to follow this chacanery have decided that they can put on their Big Girl Panties and deal with their blogs, lives, families and the whole ball of wax quite well on their own. I’m proud to know that the whole world hasn’t gone upside down while I wasn’t looking.

Jessica Smith, you know her best as @JessicaKnows posted an item earlier, imploring PR to take a look at some of the “unknown” bloggers, and lesser tracked blogs. I’m with her on that one, there are some great blogs out there. A quick twitter yesterday on the topic, flooded my email with over 150 great blogs. Many of which I hadn’t had the opportunity to read yet and lots of folks who just plain are writing good stuff.

I’m supporting these great moms and blogs and I’ll be contacting them when our next opportunity comes up. (it’ll be soon, I promise). If YOU have a great blog and want to be on our radar, want to be contacted, let me know by filling our form. I’ll be getting back in touch with you soon! I’d love to talk to you by phone, skype or email, so be sure to add those items in.

If you’re a PR firm, represent a company’s product line or a media representative, feel free to contact me for futher information, I know a great group who are anxious to hear from you!

Lets go get some PR on!

Blog with Integrity: Taking Back Our Community, One Post at a Tme (whitetrashmom.com)
PR, Mommy Bloggers (nettiehartsock.com)
How to market to female bloggers (consumingexperience.com)
Mommy Bloggers Debate a PR Blackout (blogs.wsj.com)
My take on the MomDot PR Blackout (citymama.typepad.com)
PR Blackout Challenges Mom Bloggers to Return to Basics (marketingvox.com)
PR Blackout? (tastelikecrazy.com)
A BlogHer Lesson in Power and Perception (svmoms.com)
‘Mommy bloggers’ vow to avoid ethical conflicts (cnn.com)

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Thinking INSIDE The Box

2009-08-12T17:33:03Z

Everyone who KNOWS me personally, KNOWS how I love handmade, creative gifts. And they KNOW that I just don’t make time for that very often. But when I do, nothing kills my creative buzz like sitting down to make that plush little monster pillow and realizing I’m out of googly eyes and silk flowers. A trip to Michaels or Hobby Lobby can take care of some things and somethings well just can’t be cured that easily.

In such dire situations, there’s only one place to turn: Parcel.

I found this little gem of an online store through a magazine article a few years ago they didn’t have an online shop then and I’ve come to love it more and more every day. The only killer for this site (for me anyway) is the wretched music box music that automatically plays. To each his own, but I think they could do without it totally. You can, by the way, turn off the madness with a little button on the site that’s prominently placed.

Based out of Montclair, New Jersey, the new online shop is full of crafty inspiration boxes. Available in two sizes and a variety of themes, the pretty parcels consist of vintage and “hard-to-find bits of ephemera, millinery, and supplies and are perfect for craft projects, gift wrapping, party planning, or simply as decoration”.

You can choose from motifs like fairies, nature, magic, nesting, and school. So for gifting, scrapping or just plain crafty goodness, these girls have it goin on. Their boxes are reasonably priced and you’ll love opening your “package” from Parcel!

Guaranteed to get you thinking inside the box for once!

I haven’t been compensated for this post, its just a place I love to shop and I thought you’d all love finding out about it too!

Real Housewives of New Jersey Live … no, really (tvsquad.com)

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Our American Pride

2009-08-04T13:19:27Z

Killed in action the week before, the body of Staff Sergeant First Class John C. Beale was returned to Falcon Field in Peachtree City , Georgia , just south of Atlanta , on June 11, 2009. The Henry County Police Department escorted the procession to the funeral home in McDonough , Georgia . A simple notice in local papers indicated the road route to be taken and the approximate time. This was filmed during the procession by a State Trooper.

Nowadays one can be led to believe that America no longer respects honor and no longer honors sacrifice outside the military. Be it known that there are many places in this land where people still recognize the courage and impact of total self-sacrifice. Georgia remains one of those graceful places. The link below is a short travelogue of that day’s remarkable and painful journey. But only watch this if you wish to have some of your faith in people restored.

Thanks Val.

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Blogger Beware-Better Safe Than Sorry

2009-07-31T22:51:51Z

I’m not a lawyer and don’t play one on tv. So I went to the source for some down and dirty info on what the FTC has said. The following article was written by a lawyer, but he’s not YOUR lawyer and you have no relationship with him on that level. So if you have legal questions, check it out with a local lawyer on your own. This article should not be construed as giving legal advice. Read the legal poop, er um, disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

There has been a lot of media attention devoted to the phenomenon of “Mommy Bloggers” getting paid for reviewing products. The uproar does not need to be addressed yet, because the FTC hasn’t enacted any type of regulation on the matter.

It’s always a good idea to consult an attorney if you’re worried about the potential legal repercussions of your actions. The first thing to consider if you do accept payment or free products from a company is disclosure. That’s the main government concern anyway: whether are you exercising fair trade practices and disclosing information that your readers need to know in order to make an informed decision.

Essentially, “the man” doesn’t mind that you’re getting paid (unless of course you fail to report it on your taxes) but Uncle Sam does care whether you and “Big Business” are pulling the wool over the public’s eyes by advertising on seemingly harmless websites created by the “mom next door”.

The most important rule to follow is that fair business practices apply to all types of business endeavors. HINT: if you’re getting paid, you’re doing business and have to play by the rules. Regardless of any FTC ruling, the way you carry yourself online is at stake and will stay with you for a very long time.

At the end of the day, if you’re a “mommy blogger” it’s your reputation on the line and you’ll be fine using common sense. If your gut tells you that you’re review is a little sneaky, don’t post it; if you want to tell people that you were paid, but you’d recommend it anyway: even better. In my humble opinion, if you just tell the truth you’ll stay out of trouble.

Kevin is an Attorney in the DC Metro Area. He obtained his Juris Doctorate from the University of Baltimore in 2005 and currently practices in the areas of Estate Planning, Probate Law and Estate Administration. Kevin is known as The Legacy Advisor where he beckons you to experience life and pursue your dreams! Follow him on Twitter or visit his websites.

This content is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to constitute advertising or serve as legal advice. Visitors of this website should not act upon the information provided within this website without seeking professional counsel in the appropriate jurisdiction.

The transmission and receipt of information provided on this website, does not create an attorney-client relationship. Sending e-mail to, or communicating with The Roy Law Firm, LLC does not in and of itself create an attorney-client relationship, nor will such communication impose a liability upon The Roy Law Firm, LLC without a written engagement letter specifically acknowledging an attorney-client relationship.

The content of this article has been prepared by The Roy Law Firm, LLC, a limited liability company organized in the State of Maryland. The Roy Law Firm, LLC makes no representations or warranties regarding any information provided on this website.

FTC to delay “Red Flags” enforcement until Nov. 1 (medicineandtechnology.com)
Mommy Bloggers’ Liability for Product Reviews – Will It Cause a Chilling Effect? (svmoms.com)

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I’m A PIG

2009-10-28T18:34:48Z

I’m a PIG. I have Pride, Integrity and Guts. I don’t need a badge or graphic for you to know that. I fully disclose my advertising and sponsorship.

But right now I’m talking specifically about Integrity. There’s been a lot made of ethics, sponsorship, advertising, reviews and the like. I’m setting that straight for those of you who have any doubt.

First, there is no crime in accepting sponsorship or advertising. Its how the world works. There’s nothing wrong at the heart of the issue of working with PR firms or corporations in order to further their product(s) and corporate interests. But I suggest that you as a blogger consider a few things before you go headlong into the frey.

Does the corporation or company’s product fit. If you’d never purchase their product or go into their store (for what ever reason) why would you choose to allow them to advertise with you? Why would you want their sponsorship? Don’t sell out for the sake of a few dollars.

When seeking sponsors, carefully consider what you can offer a sponsor. A single tweet on twitter or mention casually on facebook isn’t what most companies are after. Let the potential sponsor know in detail what you can offer. And if you’re lucky enough to garner that sponsor FOLLOW THROUGH completely. You’re entering into a contract. Ethically, morally and legally you have a responsibility to that sponsor. This applies to all relationships you might have with PR firms or corporations not just formal sponsorships. If you’re approached by PR and you’re burned out, overwhelmed or otherwise don’t want to deal with the offer they make you. SAY SO. You’ll build a better relationship with the representative and a chance for future opportunities without burning bridges. Shutting PR out for a week is NOT going to help you get your world in order. Honestly, if you’re facing this issue, step back for a period of time yes. But don’t completely cut yourself off from PR by participating in a Link Bait item that will not produce the end item you expect. PR reps are people too, they are capable of understanding IF you are capable of communicating. Just communicate, its simple!

Your integrity should be foremost when working with any advertiser, sponsor or firm. Just getting the “free” stuff is not what the relationship building process is about. If that’s all you want, there are a world of places to get “free” stuff. Don’t prostitute your blog for this attitude.

Remember the conversation. Participate in the conversation fully. That means asking questions. Answering questions and checking the smurf print out carefully. If you think you need legal advice, seek it. It will be well worth the few dollars spent to get a formal legal opinion, before you jump into an agreement. On the opposite side, not getting that formal legal opinion, could land you in a world of tangles and could be a very expensive lesson.

So, Pride, Integrity and Guts. Be a PIG. If you’re missing one element, you need to step back. Re-evaluate. And then make your mind up to either get that element in order or get out of the blogging world.

Unethical Social media Marketing practices… (futurebells.com)
The 12 Qualities of True Business Professionals (businesspundit.com)
Blog with Integrity: Taking Back Our Community, One Post at a Tme (whitetrashmom.com)
Let’s Play “Reviews for Dollars”! (marketingpilgrim.com)
Bloggers Face New FTC Scrutiny (reignofterroir.com)
This is Not a Sponsored Post: Paid Conversations, Credibility & The FTC (techcrunch.com)
This is Not a Sponsored Post: What You Need to Know About Sponsored Conversations & the FTC (socialmediatoday.com)

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The Case of The Incredible Replicating Laundry

2009-07-21T14:46:35Z

Does your laundry replicate overnight? Feel like the socks and jeans are having a party when you’re not looking? A woman’s work is never done; especially when it comes to the laundry. Sorting, soaking, washing, drying, folding, stashing in the proper place andddddd repeat.

Consumer Queen, Fridgidare, MomSelect and Wisk Detergent are helping though! The Frigidaire Daily Dare is a fun place to visit and you could win your own Appliances! The ConsumerQueen (via MomSelect) is holding a great contest in conjunction with the Fridgidare Test Drive Moms and they’re giving away a year’s supply of Wisk He! A full year! With laundry detergent costing in the neighborhood of $9 a bottle these days, a lifetime supply could be totally a life saver!

Visit with Melissa, find out about the new Affinity Appliances! Enter her contest and don’t forget to go over to Frigidare and check out all the new front loading machines and other new appliances they offer!

Favorite Frugal Sites (frugalwahmstalkradio.com)
Brands Downsize are Consumers Paying More? (frugalwahmstalkradio.com)
Today Show (crazyadventuresinparenting.com)

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When Life Gives You Peaches

2009-07-31T22:48:33Z

My love for peaches started early, when as a child we would drive through the country side of South Alabama on the way home from the coast and Daddy would stop in Chilton County. (Chilton County Alabama’s claim to fame is also the Peach, and some of the best ever Peach ice cream) Just the smell of ripe peaches brings so many wonderful memories. Most of you probably know, I now live in the heart of the Deep South. Georgia is famous for its peaches, and within minutes of our home here, we have hundreds of peach farms, private orchards and larger orchards that we here in the South refer to as “Parks”. A Sunday drive through the nearby countryside during the summer will tempt even the most faithful weight watcher to stop for a basket or two of these yummy fruits!

On a recent weekend, we decided a country side tour was in order and of course we couldn’t resist a basket of ripe peaches and a taste of some home made peach bread. Coincidentally, we have a lovely neighbor who had the same idea that weekend and appeared at our door shortly after we arrived home with another basket of peaches for us. Feeling a little overwhelmed by all the seasonal goodness, I pondered what to do with 2 full baskets of peaches. After all, we’d never be able to eat all that fruit before it spoiled! And then it hit me! Make Ice Cream of course! After peeling, pitting, slicing and freezing most of the rosy jewels, I chopped a few, added the sugar and cream and churned away!

The perfect end to a perfect weekend. And a perfect use for an overwhelming supply of goodness!

I’ve read a lot about a recent issue with bloggers blacking out PR and Publicity for a week during August. Claiming to be overwhelmed, the author of the idea suggested that her readers not participate in any publicity or pr events during that week. Basically telling them that she intended to tune out and wanted them to do the same. My answer to that is BUNK! If you’re feeling overwhelmed, take inventory. Find what your own personal priorities are and lay them out for yourself. If you’re too involved with your blog and PR opportunities to suit your own needs, then reassess, but don’t black out; unless your intention is of course to totally leave the radar screen. (Kind of counter intuitive, if you ask me. But a great piece of link bait by the author, who drew all sorts of media attention by this tactic )

Remember, its easy to say NO to PR reps. Its just as easy as saying yes. Rest assured, there’s not an ounce of pressure on you to deal with any company you don’t want to introduce to your audience. It is first and foremost YOUR Audience! People read your blog because YOU decided to put your thoughts out there, you struck a chord and created a connection. You’re in charge. Not the reverse. If as a result of dealing with PR people, you’ve offered your readers something that they like and you feel rewarded by it, why would you stop? It certainly won’t benefit you and your blog. All the chatter and posting about the “black”out has certainly benefited the author of the idea. I’ll be watching that blog during the blackout, just to see whether she actually follows through on her own idea, if the PR contact link disappears and the ads disappear, I’ll be slightly more convinced. But, I still think there’s a better way to handle being “overwhelmed”.

The next time you’re overwhelmed, don’t quit. Don’t turn off the goodness! Find a way to enjoy all the goodness coming your way, make some ice cream! And enjoy!

My take on the MomDot PR Blackout (citymama.typepad.com)
PR Blackout? (tastelikecrazy.com)
PR Blackout Challenges Mom Bloggers to Return to Basics (marketingvox.com)
The Hobson and Holtz Report – Podcast #466: July 16, 2009 (nevillehobson.com)
Do mommy bloggers need to grow up? (news.cnet.com)
Mommy blogger brouhaha is the new Mary Kay (dailyfinance.com)
Holier than thou? When it comes to pay to play, blogging is looking a lot like print (steveheimoff.com)

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Bird On A Wire

Storm Watch 2010

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Southern Pralines

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Southern Christmas Fruitcake

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Have A Little Fun

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Because It Is What It Is

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Mommy Bloggers Will Not Be Broken!

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You Give Mom A Bad Name

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Blackout-Schmackout (To Quote A Friend)

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Thinking INSIDE The Box

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Our American Pride

Blogger Beware-Better Safe Than Sorry

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I’m A PIG

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The Case of The Incredible Replicating Laundry

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When Life Gives You Peaches

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