MOMENTS OF DISTRACTION

revolution songs...which is better?

2009-12-13T14:38:00.000Z

"The Times They Are A-Changin'"

Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' who
That it's namin'
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come senators, congressmen
Please heed the call
Don't stand in the doorway
Don't block up the hall
For he that gets hurt
Will be he who has stalled
There's a battle outside
And it is ragin'
It'll soon shake your windows
And rattle your walls
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.

The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is
Rapidly fadin'
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'.

or

"Fight for this love"

Too much of anything can make you sick
Even the good can be a curse
Makes it hard to know which road to go down
Knowing too much can get you hurt

Is it better? Is it worse?
Are we sitting in reverse?
It's just like we're going backwards
I know where I want this to go
Driving fast but let's go slow
What I don't wanna do is crash, no

Just know that you're not in this thing alone
There's always a place in me you can call home
Whenever you feel like we're growing apart
Let's just go back, back, back, back, back to the start

Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quitting's out of the question
When it gets tough gotta fight some more

We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's worth having it's worth fighting for

Now every day ain't gon' be no picnic
Love ain't a walk in the park
All you can do is make the best of it now
Can't be afraid of the dark

Just know that you're not in this thing alone
There's always a place in me you can call home
Whenever you feel like we're growing apart
Let's just go back, back, back, back, back to the start

Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quitting's out of the question
When it gets tough gotta fight some more

We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's worth having it's worth fighting for

I don't know where we're heading I'm willing and ready to go
We've been driving so fast we just need to slow down and just roll

Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quitting's out of the question
When it gets tough gotta fight some more

We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's worth having it's worth fighting for

We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's worth having it's worth fighting for

Which is better? There's only one way to find out. Fight!!!

slow down - why do you want it to happen sooner

2009-11-10T18:50:00.002Z

While walking down the road I was pushed past by a young lady in a big hurry. I nearly tripped to avoid her. No problem, we can all be in a rush sometimes but what bothered me was she was only in a rush to get to a shop to buy some clothes. Lets keep things in perspective please.

The best things take time, cooking, eating, drinking and loving - usually in that order.

Saturday 10th

2009-10-30T21:50:00.001Z

Drove back up to the Midlands on my own today, draging the kids back up there was tiring them and us out and Suki was looking drawn out. I felt I just needed to spend a little more time with my brother and family. No one was at home, all at the hospital and visitor not allowed, so I drove to my parents instead. A shocking scene it was as I walked into my childhood home. Mum was cooking something for lunch while talking to dad in the kitchen and both were in floods of tears - neither looked in anyway capable of helping Rob through this and both thought (most shocking of all) that this was all some punishment from god. Mum and Dad had been in and out of the temple for longer than they had spent supporting Rob. I am not a table thumper or shouter but I told them both off - if they can't stop looking for blame and can't empathise with Rob now of all times then they were as useless as I always thought. Dad had not even been back to work for a week and replaced that with crying around the house and praying to the same god that did this in the first place.

It is true that difficult times test your faith in god and events can polarise your thoughts completely. For some their faith is proved positive and for others the faith lost completely. I always had little faith to begin with and the older I got the more I lost, now I am sure there is nothing there - it is all chance, biology, evolution and thought. What god would do this to a child. My parents however believe it is faith and prayer that will help up overcome these difficulties. The problem with Mum and Dad has always been they care about what other people think and say that what Rob and I feel.

It has been interesting to see Rob and Ambe gain more faith over this week or two - I am not saying they are about to take up the punjabi version of the cloth - but they are praying regularly. If the Shaan had been mine would I do the same, as a worried parent do you look for anything that others hope and healing and damn reality.

Collected Ambe from the hospital (she had been discharged a couple of days ago adnd was travelling back and forth to feed Shaan) and took home. Rob had taken his other son out to play for a couple of hours - this was only time Rob smiled in the last two weeks. A strange routine was developing here shuttleing between hospital, home, school, coventry, sainsburys, GP etc. The stack of alcohol that was to be part of the festivites around the birth of my nephew was still in the garage. I sat with everyone and just tried to listen to the problems, complications, medications, tirednes experienced by Rob and Ambe. All this pain and yet they seemed curiously upbeat and things would improve as soon as Shaan was home.

Wednesday 7th

2009-10-13T18:53:00.009Z

Back at work today and tried really hard to not think about what was going on the midlands - I did really well until a couple of concerned colleagues asked about the status of the baby. I only got 30 seconds into it before breaking down and excusing myself from the conversation. I can't think about it yet alone talk about it.

Monday 5th and Tuesday 6th

2009-10-13T18:53:00.007Z

We stayed another night as my brother and sister-in-law waited for test results regarding the shortness of breath. I was planning to be back at home and in the office today but these events left me even more sure about what is actually important - work be damned.

Nothing conclusive from the results but he will not be discharged from the hospital soon and therefore not going home for weeks. With the eyesight, brain and breathing problems this could be going on for months.

Sunday 4th

2009-10-13T18:53:00.005Z

The lowest day

The day began with rushing my nephew to hospital with a fever and finding out he had croup. The day ended with the baby rushed to intensive care with breathing difficulties.

I have never had a day quite like this one. Usually in every day there is some high point, a peek of joy surrounded by despair no matter how bad the day actually is - today there was none. I spent most of the day watching my brother slowly crumble under the stress being heaped on his little family, tears flowed as he explained the elder child's condition to the mother, who was still bed bound in hospital with the new born.

The worry caused by the laboured breathing, on top of everything else, can only be described as feeling not to wish on anyone else no matter how you feel about that person. How can this in any way be fair?

Saturday 3rd

2009-10-13T18:53:00.003Z

Kept my nephew busy while Rob got on with the work in hand. Suki and kids came over and we all ate Jammie Dodgers - sweet. Another visit to the hospital in the evening and this time I could not control my tears - openly wept and felt so useless. By the end of the day we were all beginning to feel some rhythm so our days and this all began to feel quite normal.

Friday 2nd

2009-10-13T18:53:00.001Z

Taken a day away from work, suki pulled the kids from school and we all travelled up to the Midlands in the vain hope of trying to be supportive and helpful - but where do you start. Brother and sister-in-law look broken and tired and there are no words that I can find to offer any kind of comfort, all I can do is ask questions and listen. Held the baby in hospital today, complications aside, he is big, healthy and wrigglely. Suki and I quietly weep in private as we discuss what has happened and our own feeling of guilt when we look at our own children - how do we get off so lucky?

Slept at my brothers place, after cleaning up and putting things back in place.

Thursday 1st

2009-10-08T21:35:00.003Z

The bad news arrived like a brick through the window. From the heights of joy to the pits of despair in the space of eight hours. We all felt shocked and stunned at the thought of monitoring, operations, care, worry that was sure to follow. Yes, yes, yes - this will all be over someday, we will look back these days and joke - but right now we stood in front of the mountain with no rope. It still did not feel real to me - a dream to woke from - I had to see him to be sure it was not some cruel joke.

Listening to tears on the phone from the grandparents and trying to console my brother from 120 miles away was not going to work. Suki, I and the kids would bailed out of work and school to head to the midlands for some soul searching.

Wednesday 30th

2009-10-08T21:35:00.001Z

My brother and his wife had their second child, baby Shaan arrived kicking and screaming (as we all do) into this world and for about fifteen minutes the world was a happy place. Word was spread to the wider family and friends, wine was drunk, cigars smoked.

What became clear very quickly was that the pinky redness all over his body was not fading. After some hurried, nervous conversations the bad news was given to the anxious parents, the baby was suffering from "Port Wine Stain" over 70% of his body, including (worringly) over his face and head. The excess blood flow was causing increased pressure on the eyes, ears and brain. There was a likelyhood that he may be blind or at the very least effected and requiring some sort of operation and long term care.

I did not hear the bad news until the next day.

I have no clever - or not so clever - witisism to offer.

x factor - y factor

2009-09-27T19:01:00.000Z

Why would anyone want to enter this show having seen the wreckage left behind after every previous series. Don't these people see what a stunt the whole show is? The truth is - and always will be - people see that which they want to see and nothing more. Personal blindness is an altogether common failing in our common condition. It is a shame really, people can lead full satisfying lives without the acceptance from a panel of "Judges" giving thumbs up or down and categorising everyone as Mingers, Clingers and Blingers.

In plain English

2009-09-21T19:43:00.004Z

There was an interesting debate on The Politics Show at the weekend about trying to save money from the Education budget over the next few years. Apparently nearly 2 Billion (of your good English pounds) can be trimmed out without the need to effect front line services, class sizes, number of teaching staff and assistants will not change. Simply amazing! The policy involves the creation of federated schools, schools which share insurance, pool utility costs, trim out assistant heads and heads of department.

All good news, but the bigger question was why did we not do this sooner. Our government has become like me, only save money when it has to or has no other choice. This truly is representation government in its most direct form. We get exactly what we deserve. Whereas, we are sold what we want to be (clunky sentence I know). Government should have been saving money for the last 30 years and only buying what it really needed and only taxing to match its requirements. Government deficits are published and analysed by many an economist but until they can be presented as a simple; this is what we get and this is where it goes, how can we ever be really sure that our money is still be wasted. Until the numbers can be easily presented to the average Joe, we will always have to take these on faith alone.

I mean, how difficult can it be?

If real terms investment can become wise expenditure, saving and then cuts in the space of 10 days, then the public book is deeply in the soft soft and the people managing it are covered in it too.

Double think is alive and doing fine thanks

2009-09-21T19:43:00.003Z

Is the government displaying a terminal case of double think? The party actually believe that will win the next election at the same time as believing that many a sitting MP will lose their seat. It is possible to hold two opposing, mutually exclusive, thoughts in your brain at the same time and really believe both. 2+2=4 and 2+2=5.

Mandleson even tried to pull the Ministry Truth trick of changing a fact to represent the current state of affairs. The Government never said "real term increase in spending", they always spoke of wise spending. Until, that is, Nick Robinson put him right and showed the documentary proof. That was a great interview in the Today programme from a couple of days ago.

I love it when a plan comes together.

Live Debate

2009-09-11T17:46:00.000Z

Let us not do this. If they do go ahead and televise the debate, let us not watch it. Politics should not be boiled down to the peacock fluttering their feathers and who can make the best quip while live on air. Like McDonalds, 1 litre cups of bland coffee, Bud, SUV's, Friends and other American imports, this should be put back on the next slow boat to the US.

The camera is important in this media age and those that understand its view and angle will always appear victorious. Take Richard Nixon, in two television events he showed himself to be who he really was. The Presidential Candidate debate with JFK and the infamous Frost interview. In the first he looked shifty and in the second he came across as tired and caught. All good stuff, but did it really matter, he was still elected to the top office later and his apology (if that was what it was) worthless. He never paid any price for his falsehood and manipulation of the legal system - so TV solves nothing.

TV is entertainment, lets let it get on with what it does best.

reservists

2009-09-11T17:31:00.000Z

The new Dan Brown book, The Lost Symbol, is out soon and the signs are going up all over the place. "Reserve you copy here". The point being that you will get your book first, before the Hoy Paloy, and be the first to read it and tell your friends all about it. First, if you are like me and have a book to hand all the time, have to ensure that you finish your current book on the night before the release. I like to read quickly, but I also go back over sections to clarify my understanding or just enjoy a section of well written dialogue and so there is no way I could know exactly when I am going to finish a book. I will get to the end but I don't know when.

Secondly, and more importantly, they seem to suggest that only the reservist's will get a copy of the book - do you really think they are going to run out on the first day. That has never ever happened in the last twenty years of book releases and that includes all the Harry Potter books. There will be so many books that Tesco's will be selling them for £7.99 by the end of the week, next to the over ripe tomatoes. Anybody reserving a book, cd, dvd should be given a ball and told to go bounce it some place where they can cause no harm.

The NHS

2009-09-06T13:45:00.001Z

The NHS is a huge burden on society, a bottomless pit that you can simply pour any amount of money you wish to into it. It is slow, unresponsive, sensitive to change, not capable of healing everything, dirty, and a truly joyless experience to visit. The NHS is exactly what we allowed it to become, through the 1980's neglect and 1990's selfishness. However it represents our best of intentions, if we can help, we will help. It is my personal beliefs in how to treat your neighbour made real in bricks and people. Lets talk about how to change/replace the NHS for sure (the debate needs to happen) but you have to have an idea that captures the social responsibility behind it.

Summer is over now

2009-09-06T13:32:00.001Z

I am feeling pretty grim about going back to work, what with no more bank holidays to christmas and and the evening getting darker sooner, there seems to be less time in the day to do anything worthwhile or personal - especially during the weekdays. I need something good to look forward to - holiday, time off or just a quiet sit down some place with a book and biscuit. Hang on, all those options involve not being at work - hmm - I figured out why I feel so glum after all. The changing rhythms of the year are always painful no matter how many times you experience them.

Tuscany Day 7 - 31C

2009-08-13T14:25:00.003Z

Finally no stress.

This was the last full day in Tuscany before the arduous journey back home and a return to normality. The kids were in the pool for most of the day and Kai's swimming is much improved - not surprising really, he has been in the pool everyday for a number of hours. The unfortunate effect of all this swimming is that Kai now has two circles of pale skin around his eyes where the goggles prevented him getting an even tan. His nickname now for the next few days is "Panda". In fact

We are all looking very brown and really sad about going home, a sure sign of a good holiday.

Tuscany Day 6 - 31C

2009-08-12T14:25:00.000Z

Doing the sites.

After the usual mix up with train ticket purchases, we caught the early train to Pisa to see the leaning tower even though it is a bit of a tourist trap we felt like we just had to do it. I would not to it again but I am glad we made made there just once and the kids seem to enjoy it - anything to get them out of the pool. Maia and Kai are beginning to look extremely brown, I just wonder what they would look like after a second week in the sun.

We took a slow stroll back to the train station, after arguments and complaints about heat and what to do next, we caught the train back. Arriving back at home around 16:30, the kids and I just dived into the pool to refresh ourselves. After feeling sluggish and slow, the cool water was a slap in the face and felt invigorating.

Tuscany Day 5 - 36C

2009-08-11T14:12:00.000Z

Opted for a slow day by the pool and keeping travel to a minimum.

Having been here for a few days, I was beginning to feel like I was driving too much - it is my holiday too - and becoming a taxi. Therefore, it made sense to have a slow day around the house and chill out by the pool, the kids thought that was great, Suki got time to sit down and even out her tan and I did not have to drive anywhere.

In typical Nagra fashion, we got bored of that and went out to Castaneta Cardudduci in the evening for ice creams and pizza. We ended up in a nice hillside pizzeria overlooking the valley below - great pictures - watching the sun set as we finished our desserts and espresso.

I fear that this will be the last day we actually get to relax because we are getting up really tomorrow to catch a train to Pisa.

Tuscany Day 4 - 35C

2009-08-10T11:58:00.000Z

Today felt cold and we were looking for the coats we had packed -brrrrrrr! Drove to Volterra to get some culture.

Why the obsession with looking at broken old things when you are holiday? Why must my culture ration be met when all I want to do is look at the hills and drink wine. I could not find a good answer and so we drove 30 miles up a mountain to look at an old Etruscan town dated back to the time of the Romans. Saw some ruins, saw a church, had coffee in the piazza - ticked all the boxes and headed home to swim in the pool. Could not even muster up the energy to do that - just sat and drank. It was great.

Tomorrow is Sunday and rain is forecast so we will probably opt for the slow day before heading to Pisa on Monday. It is a bit of a tourist trap but what the hey, sometimes the ration book just needs to be stamped.

Tuscany Day 3 - supplemental

2009-08-09T11:57:00.001Z

I am having some nice white while and looking at the rolling hills of Southern Tuscany as I type this - how inspiring this all feels. The kids have had four hours by the pool and they look ready for bed - it is only 4pm. The cicada's are chirping in the trees and I fancy an olive.

Centre Ground Politics

2009-08-09T11:45:00.001Z

Staying in Italy you begin to wonder why the people who live in one of the most beautiful countries in the world continue to elect the same fool every few years. No matter how oafish he is, no matter who he offends he will back around in four years - like some STD just when you think you are in the clear, he is back looking smugger and hairier (I took that analogy a little too far). The answer is simple, choice. Either too much or too little leads to the same conclusion.

When you examine the politics of Great Britain you are left with the same answer - choice. We have too little - should we move left of centre or right of centre but lets not get too near edge of the political map for there be monsters. What is missing is the right choice. If the NHS is too expensive then lets privatise elements of it. Lets support the elderly in their retirement years based on their contributions to the country throughout their lives. Lets make sure the school down the road is the same as the school everyone wants to go to four miles away. We have to be brave and make those statements that are correct regardless of the bias of the political party we are supposed to represent.

The four yearly pull to the left or right does not lead to good, safe reliable government. It does not lead to the reduction of conflicts in the world. It does not lead to the balancing of social backgrounds in the professions. If it did, it would have by now. We are pushing a slack string - only when it is tied and taught does any good happen. I find myself banging the keyboard as I write this - wake up everyone. Every shout should be heard - every individual listened to. MP's should make their personal views on every political subject clear and be held accountable to it - say what you think and stick with it - this should become a legally binding document that is a personal manifesto. The manifesto is a personal statement of the views thought to be right and it is up to the local community to agree or not.

This all leads to the electorate feeling more connected with Government the representatives being tied to their declarations and the end of left-right bias.

Tuscany Day 3 - 37C

2009-08-08T11:47:00.000Z

Donaratico for supplies for the week and check about trains to Pisa and Florence. Not sure if we will go yet but let see how the week progresses. Pool for most of the afternoon because no one felt like doing anything exciting today and a good chance for all just to relax and enjoy not being at home.

I finally felt like trying to capture how I felt about the break and so the catch up blog. I am sure I am not the only person that every time I go away I start to wonder if I could just live here? The prices are cheap and my expenses could be limited to vino and bread, why do I need to go back home? Then you remember that you are only seeing the little snapshot of life here and all looks rosy when you are having fun. If I had to clean the swimming pool myself every week I am sure I would not be so happy. In the end I happy with the fact that this seems to be the first holiday that all four of us are enjoying and look relaxed with - that is saying something particularly when Suki is concerned.

Tuscany Day 2 - 37C

2009-08-07T11:43:00.000Z

Monteverde Marittimo in the morning for supplies and spectacular views of the western Tuscan valleys. A few hours by the pool which wiped us all out. Castanetto Caluigi for pizza and site seeing in the evening.

We ordered three pizzas for Suki, Kai and myself, Maia went for pasta. Once the first two pizzas arrived we were only too glad they messed up our ordered and forgotten the third. The pizza was bigger than the plate by a factor of two - a single pizza would be enough for the three of us - thank the maker we only got the two. Kai looked at his pizza and just said "I am not eating all of that". Looking across the restaurant people were actually taking photos of their pizzas because no
one would believe them without some evidence to prove the story true.

Forgotten about work and not missing home.