Comedy News, Search Engine Marketing, and MMA - Larry Weaver's Blog

Million Dollar Marketing Report - September

2008-10-01T08:30:00.000-04:00

This is part of a series of posts on the Million Dollar eBook Marketing Plan. Here are the highlights of my "Funny Employee Awards" book promotion for the month of September:

Monday, 9/1 - Launch: Listed Funny Employee Awards eBook for sale with no fanfare or announcement. This soft launch gave me a few weeks to work out any errors or bugs in the eBook (it turns out there weren't any).

Wednesday, 9/3 - Affiliates: Officially announced the launch of affiliate program on Larry Weaver (LW) blog.

Tuesday, 9/9 - Television: Sent video submission for The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch.

Monday, 9/15 - Newsletter: Sent upgrade email to all previous Funny Employee Awards customers.

Friday, 9/19 - Guerilla: LW blog post offering free t-shirts for best ideas on promoting the new book. Cross-posted to Facebook and Twitter.

Wednesday, 9/24 - Blog: Launched Funny Awards blog with inaugural post. Cross-posted blog launch announcement on larryweaver.com.

Wednesday, 9/24 - Newsletter: Emailed Larry Weaver fan list announcing new book, affiliate program, and free t-shirt offer.

Thursday, 9/25 - Press Release: Sent first press release over PRNewswire as part of their targeted campaign to editors of Workplace and Careers features.

Miscellaneous Marketing Notes:

Added hi-res downloads to site: author photo, eBook cover, and site logo.
Hired NewspaperGirl to help write and edit press releases, based on a positive endorsement from a ShoeMoney blog post.
Reached out to Peter Shankman for possible advertising opportunities in HARO.
Designed direct mail postcard and sent to printer for October mailing.
Committed to increased social networking (both online and offline) for the remainder of the year.

Based on current conversion rates and average transaction amounts, I'll need approximately 3 million visitors to my website between now and the end of the year to reach $1,000,000 in sales. It's not unthinkable, but it will require something big to happen. Do your part - buy the book and spread the word...

Funny Awards Blog

2008-09-24T12:05:00.000-04:00

In an post earlier this year, I alluded to a forthcoming eBook in my post, Million Dollar eBook Marketing Plan.

The eBook in question is in fact the Second Edition of Funny Employee Awards: Your Complete Guide to Organizing a Humorous, Entertaining and Rewarding Recognition Ceremony.

I've spent the past year tuning up the Pay-Per-Click and Search Engine Optimization campaigns, as well as searching out the best advertising mediums for the eBook. I firmly believe this is a Million Dollar Idea.

I'll continue posting about my marketing and advertising successes/failures on this blog, but I'm moving the majority of posts about the funny awards themselves to the newly launched Funny Awards Blog.

As you may have guessed, the blog launch is part of the Million Dollar eBook Marketing Plan. Stay tuned - things are about to get interesting.

Subscribe to the Funny Awards Blog today!

Free T-Shirt for Promoting Funny Employee Awards

2008-09-19T09:33:00.000-04:00

In a recent post, I told you how you could earn 20% commission just for referring your friends and colleagues to Funny Employee Awards. Now I'm upping the ante and giving away free shirts!

These are high-quality, screen-printed Funny Employee Awards t-shirts. The shirt is free. The shipping is free. It costs you nothing.

To get your free t-shirt, either post a comment or email me letting me know how you plan to help promote Funny Employee Awards. Here are some ideas:

Write a blog post about Funny Employee Awards.
Wear the t-shirt in your FaceBook, MySpace, etc. profile for the entire months of November and December.
Send an email blast to your friends and colleagues about Funny Employee Awards.
Add a link to Funny Employee Awards in your email signature.
Get a celebrity to wear the shirt and send in the photo.
Spread the news about our site in forums, blog post comments, and other link building opportunities.
Wear the t-shirt at a high-profile event, photo shoot, or media appearance.
Create a viral video promoting the site.
Any other good and creative ideas.

Post your idea in the comments section below or email your idea. Be sure to specify your shirt size and preferred color (they're not yet printed, so ask for any color). And make sure I know how to get in touch with you if you're picked as a winner.

I'll pick 10 or more winners. Hey, I'll even consider long-sleeve shirts, hoodies, or jackets if your idea is REALLY good. Just help me get the word out!

Celebrate the Living

2008-09-15T22:25:00.002-04:00

“We celebrate the lives of the dead / It's like a man's best party only happens when he dies.” – Body in a Box, City and Colour

The reaper makes frequent visits to the critical care unit at Moses Cone Hospital. Yesterday, his presence cast a heavy shadow over Mom’s room. And even though he managed to break the spirit of the most optimistic of well-wishers, his intended passenger had no plans to leave just yet.

You can imagine my surprise when I walked in to see Mom sitting upright in a chair by the bed, laughing and telling jokes. “So you’re back from the dead again,” I asked. She just looked up and said, “You can’t get rid of a good mule.”

*****

Mom knew a thing or two about mules. She grew up as the daughter of a sharecropper in Person County, NC. Her sisters, Phyliss, Brenda, and Joan worked the tobacco fields alongside her brothers Robert, Paul, and Ricky. They didn’t own the land, or the tools, or the mules that pulled the plow. But they worked it all to survive.

Faming tobacco is excruciating work. There’s the planting, the hoeing, the worming, the plucking, the tying, the curing… And breathing that red dust all day as the hot Carolina sun beats you down. It was backbreaking work. I got a small taste working Uncle Neil’s fields as a kid. But that was just a weekend job for me. This was a year-round reality for Mom and her siblings.

Grandpa’s plan was a simple one: more kids meant more hands to work more acres. But more kids also meant more mouths to feed. And when they yearly harvest came in, and the landowner was paid for the land, and the tools, and the animals, there was little left over for the family. It was a losing proposition.

Mom saw marrying my Dad as a way out of the tobacco fields for good. Little did she know that her hardest labor was yet to come.

Mom’s brothers and sisters have been through some trials. But make no mistake – they embody the word “tough.” Ironically, the same hard work that would contribute to many of their health problems later on was the same hard work that gave them the resolve to make it through.

*****

So there’s Momma sitting in the chair, chatting away. “We’re going walking down the hall tomorrow. And when I get out of here, we’re all going down to see Robert in Texas.”

It seemed impossible just hours ago.

Heart attack? Stroke? Pneumonia? Spinal fusion? That was yesterday.

Today the sun came up over Moses Cone, and with it a reason to celebrate.

Amazon.com Widgets

Tribute to a Strong Mother

2008-09-14T21:57:00.006-04:00

"Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand." – Ephesians 6:13

I always loved that Bible verse. There’s so much meaning in those final two words. On Friday I saw it written on a sign outside the old church down the road: “And having done all, to stand.” I pondered its meaning anew…

My sister called early this morning, “You need to come on back to the hospital. Momma’s not doing too good.” That’s all that needed to be said. I had heard that message before on the day my Dad passed away.

And as I made the long drive back to the hospital I had left just hours earlier, I couldn’t help but wonder, “Is this it?”

*****

Mom has overcome tragedy many times. She’s suffered more heartache than anyone should have to bear. From the tragic death of her father – a man I never had the privilege of meeting – to the unimaginable loss of her daughter, my sister and best friend, to Rocky Mountain Spotted Tick Fever. Next her younger brother died in a horrific auto accident, then her Mom passed, and finally her husband, my Dad, lost a nearly fifteen year struggle with heart failure.

Through it all, my Mom soldiered on. Never wavering, never stumbling.

That was Mom’s way. She faced each tragedy, each day, with a workman-like attitude. By the time a crippling combination of Fibromyalgia and Osteoporosis forced her into an early retirement, she had accrued a full year’s worth of sick days. Momma didn’t take sick days. Least not for her, anyway.

She took care of my Dad through countless hospital visits. She took care of us all. And when Dad’s heart finally stopped beating, there was a bit of hope in the air. His long battle had carried a heavy burden. And despite the sadness, a weight had been lifted. I was excited for Mom – excited to see what she would do; excited to see what she would become.

Just a few weeks later I sat by her bedside as she awaited triple bypass surgery.

It was unexpected. She reluctantly went to the doctor about some tightness in her chest, and hours later she was transported to Duke Medical Center for life-changing surgery. As we talked through the night, she didn’t complain. She said she’d get through it, and she did.

Over the past five years, Mom has suffered through immeasurable pain. Heart attack... Fibromyalgia... Diabetes... Back surgery after back surgery...

Over those same five years, Mom has traveled the country and visited Mexico. She’s walked the beach. She’s hiked the mountains of Colorado. She fulfilled a dream that her and Dad shared of seeing the Grand Canyon. She’s soldiered on…

Her back pain recently got so bad that she could no longer walk without a walker. This hurt her pride, but she didn’t show it. The neurosurgeon recommended spinal fusion, along with removing some fragmented vertebrate and the insertion of pins into her spine.

This surgery was serious. The best case scenario was several days in the hospital and four weeks in a nursing facility. But Mom agreed. After all, there was more of the country she wanted to see.

The surgery went well. The aftermath didn’t.

*****

When I arrived at the hospital this morning, the prognosis wasn’t good. A heart attack… possibly two. A stroke. Pneumonia. The odds weren’t in her favor this time.

When everyone had left the room, I took her hand and leaned over. “Mom, are you going to make it,” I asked. “Oh I’m going to make it out of here,” she said, “but it ain’t going to be easy.”

I don’t know if Mom will live to see tomorrow. But I do know that when the doctor pulls the curtain for the last time, and when that final breath of air comes passing through her lips, she’s not going to leave this world lying down.

She taught me today what the sign on the church means.

“And having done all, to stand.”

Refer Funny Employee Awards and Earn Money!

2008-09-03T15:03:00.001-04:00

I am proud to introduce the brand new Funny Employee Awards Affiliate Program. Now you can earn cash when you tell friends, clients, and colleagues about Funny Employee Awards!

Earn 20% per PURCHASE
Since the Funny Employee Awards Affiliate Program pays you a massive 20% on the sale of our awards, you can earn $8.00 at the current sale price of $39.99. Now that is some high quality money for doing nothing.

Build a business recommending our products
Since the Affiliate Program pays you on every PDF sold, your monthly earnings can really pile up as you refer more and more people. The harder you work, the more money you can make. With enough effort you can be pulling in hundreds or thousands per month.

We provide the tools, you provide the customers
We give you everything you need to begin promoting our products. Custom links for your emails, IMs, or Twitters. Custom graphical banners for your blogs, web sites, and newsletters. We provide the promotional tools, you provide the customers.

Put a banner like this on your site, or just use a text link to tell your friends!

It takes less than 60 seconds to sign up
Just visit the Funny Employee Awards Affiliate Program page and sign right up. You'll be able to begin promoting our products in less than 60 seconds. We look forward to hearing about your success stories!

GoAnimate.com - Animation Made Easy

2008-08-08T15:38:00.001-04:00

I'm an animator now. I published my first animated cartoon on the web only a few hours after hearing about GoAnimate.com. It's that easy. But I must warn you: only visit the site if you are prepared to forsake everything else in your life. Feed your kids first, then visit. It's that addictive.

Watch Funny Employee Awards - Worst Idea of the Year

Admittedly I put little thought into my debut into animation. I found an office background, imported a couple of characters, and had them go at it. But it's still pretty cool, right? I'm planning a whole series to promote www.FunnyEmployeeAwards.com

I may also animate some comedy sketches from my CDs like "Ghost in the Trailer," "Escape From Alimony", or "Hip Hop Hoedown". Stay tuned!

Last Comic Standing Scandal

2008-07-31T22:00:00.001-04:00

Last Comic Standing is the fakest reality show on television. That truth also makes it the most real. - Larry Weaver, The Tao of Show Business

Last Comic Standing is the Fakest Show on Television

NBC's Last Comic Standing claims on its own website to be a "search for the funniest comedian on the planet". It's not. The auditions are staged, the celebrity judges aren't judges, the footage is doctored to make a favored bad act look good, and talented working comedians are passed over for "characters" with no act and a big personality. Here are a few horror stories in case you're thinking of auditioning for future seasons...

If you're going to audition "cold" (uninvited, without agency representation), be prepared for a lot of waiting.

I stood in line in sub-freezing temperatures for up to nine hours Thursday in Toronto to audition... we got a chance to be funny six-at-a-time for a production assistant, who would point to each of us and say "give me your best minute" or "tell me a one-liner"... if you were chosen you would receive the phone call to come back to audition for two minutes for the celebrity talent scouts. - Jim Tice, Toronto Last Comic Standing Auditions

Just to be clear, you don't automatically get to "audition" in front of the celebrity judges. You can fly across the country, stand in line for hours, only to be turned away in seconds by a young production assistant:

The PA ushered us into the annex in teams of eight -- 24 comedians per room. It was like performing at a bus stop. "All right, Jason, give me your best 30 seconds. Go!"... "Thank you. Next." And that was that. Don't call us; we'll call you. Fourteen hours in the gutter. - Jason Love, Last Comic Sleeping, Overnight in San Francisco

Comedians at the Season 5 auditions in San Antonio never got to audition at all:

I drove two hundred miles, in the rain, half asleep mind you, to find out they only gave 125 numbers out this time. That's not the clincher. They gave them out [the night before] about 6:30 pm. - David Reyes, San Antonio Last Comic Standing Audtions

Some conspiracy theorists wonder if the only reason for auditions is to get a shot of the people waiting in line:

I feel bad for some comic friends who had even worse experiences that I did... Do they really make people wait all night long in the fog just so they can have a morning shot of them around the club? - DNA, San Francisco LCS Audtions

Even if you are invited to audition, you still could get jerked around. Veteran comedian Taylor Mason was personally invited to audition for Season 6 by the show's producers, ushered to the front of the line, breezed through the auditions to Vegas, and then - after cancelling dates to clear his schedule - was told not to come to Vegas:

We auditioned for the first two on-site producers, a couple of women who were looking for specific things: NO wife jokes; NO marriage jokes; NO jokes about raising kids... We all found out very quickly that [the celebrity judges] were only there for show. Their opinions and their comments were cut off – an assistant producer went up to them at one point and said, “Uh…don’t say anything to the comics…we’ll decide who moves on and who doesn’t…just make a comment about their performance and we move on.” - Taylor Mason, Last Comic Complaining

Comedian Chris Voth also made it through to Vegas, only to get bumped:

Over the next several weeks, I had numerous conversations via email with producers from the show as details were being dispersed about the semi-finals in Las Vegas. We had to sign a lot of waivers and confidentiality agreements and confirm that we could block off a couple weeks in case we made it into the house... Less than a week before the semi's, I got a call from a producer saying a decision was made and I was now being uninvited to the next round... they originally picked 46 comics, but only 30 were moving on. - Chris Voth, Houston LCS Auditions

Making it on the show may not be the break you were hoping for. The producers and editors have to power to paint you in a bad light. My long-time friend and comedy club headliner Heath Hyche was ripped to shreds by celebrity judge Steve Schirripa in the Season 6 Vegas round. Did Steve saying he'd rather kill himself than watching more of Heath's act help Heath? I don't think so.

Last Comic Standing is the Realest Show on Television

Should you audition for Last Comic Standing? I don't recommend it unless you have agency representation who can move you to the front of the line. Even then you should be prepared with a good "story" and "character" to compliment your act.

Show business is not a pure competition like sport. Talent does not always rise to the top. Hard work and dedication do not always pay off. Like so many things in life, success in show business depends a lot on who you know. That, truly, is reality.

In that regard, Last Comic Standing is the most real reality show on television.

I'm good friends with two of the winners of Last Comic Standing. I'm also good friends with top-notch comedians who been rejected at LCS auditions for six straight years. You can have a killer act and never "make it" in Hollywood because of your look, or your accent, or who you don't know.

Should You Audition for Last Comic Standing?

If you're dying to be on Last Comic Standing, I do have some advice. Look back over at all of the comedy clubs where they've held auditions. Target one or more clubs as a place to "get in" and become a regular. Try to get to know the club owners; they can help you. Search Facebook, LinkedIn, MySpace, etc for anyone who has worked as a PA (Production Assistant) on Last Comic Standing. Try to friend them and learn everything you can. Search Google for "Last Comic Standing Auditions". Read blog posts and articles from people who have auditioned and contact them directly to get their advice. Reach out to comedians who have appeared on the show. Email them one specific question. Or better yet, go to a live performance and try to meet them personally. Arm yourself with as much information as possible. Try to get to know the right people.

Or just wing it. Either way, your odds are probably about the same.

How to be a Comedian - Free Online Guide Book

2008-07-16T11:36:00.001-04:00

I'm working on a comedy business book tentatively titled, "The Millionaire Comedian: Creating Your Own Success in Show Business." This isn't a book about how to write jokes or be funny. Rather, it is a guide to the different careers paths you can take as a comedian. Specifically, I hope to inspire you to take success into your own hands, and not wait for a big agent or a "break" to launch your career.

The articles below aren't sequential or even meant to read like a book. That will come later. In the meantime, bookmark this page and keep checking back. I'll fill link the articles as I write them:

Careers in Comedy:

Corporate Comedy - Performing at Company Parties and Conventions
- Guidelines for becoming a corporate entertainer
- Ten Corporate Comedy Do's and Don'ts
How to Become a Comedy Writer for Television
- Case Study: Bryan Tucker at Saturday Night Live
How to Become a Christian Comedian
Breaking into the College Market
Start your own Comedy blog
Finding Cruise Ship Work
Becoming a National Headliner at Comedy Clubs

Creating Your Promotional Materials:

What You Need for a Comedian Press Kit
Building a Comedian Web Site
- Advanced: How to Build an XML Sitemap
- Advanced: How to Submit Your XML Sitemap
How to Record a Live Comedy Show

Booking Comedy Shows:

Office equipment that will make your life easier
Software that will make your life easier
Performance Booking - Improving communication between client, artist, and agent
Ten ways to impress a booking agent
How to advance a performance

Promoting Your Act:

How to Get Airplay on XM Satellite Radio
Optimizing your web site for search engines
Using Social Networking Sites to Build Your Fan Base
Use Online Video to Promote Your Act

Selling Your Products Online:

Resources:

What do you want to know about? Write your requests for information in the comments section below.

Fender Passport Portable Sound System Review

2008-07-09T09:58:00.001-04:00

Fender Passport Review: PD-150 v. PD-250

I'm a big fan of the Fender Passport portable sound systems. Several years ago, I purchased a Passport Deluxe PD-250 system (pictured in grey). I recently bought the smaller Passport Deluxe PD-150 system (pictured in black), and have the PD-250 for sale.

Since I own both, I wanted to point out some of the major differences between the two systems (PD-250 v. PD-150):

Inputs: 6 channels v. 4
Watts: 250w v. 150w
Monitor outputs: 2 v. 0
Weight: 55 lbs. v. 28 lbs.

Beyond those major features, the two systems are virtually identical. Both have a docking connector for Passport wireless receiver, extraordinary feedback rejection, mic / cable storage compartment with latching lid, and Vocal Input Priority (background music level is automatically lowered when someone speaks into the microphone).

For me, the decision to keep the PD-150 came down to one single factor: weight. Let's face it, I'm no Hercules. While I can carry the PD-250 around with one arm, it is difficult to get in and out of my trunk. Plus I hate showing up at a corporate gig straining to carry in my sound system.

Fender also makes an even smaller PD-80. In my opinion, the PD-150 will server you better in a wider variety of situations than the PD-80, and the weight isn't really an issue. Go ahead and get the PD-150 if you can afford it.

My favorite feature of the PD-250 is that all of the cables and mics fit into a built-in storage compartment. So it is truly an all-in-one system. You just stick it in your trunk and go.

Much to my disappointment, everything does not fit into PD-150 storage compartment. You can put some combination of the power cord, two speaker cables, microphone, and microphone cable into the storage compartment - but not all of them. That means I have to remember to carry a separate bag. It's not the end of the World, but the large storage compartment was one of my favorite features of the PD-250.

I'm a little sad to see the PD-250 go, but I'm excited about breaking in the new PD-150. If you are a professional comedian or solo acoustic performer, I highly recommend either of these Fender Passport Portable Sound Systems.

Carrying your own system to gigs ensures that you will have quality sound. It's a small price to pay to guarantee that you will always sound your best!

O2 Wireless Festival Review: Morrissey, Beck, New York Dolls

2008-07-05T20:43:00.004-04:00

Our economic stimulus check arrived in the mail last week. Mariana and I promptly spent the lot of it celebrating Independence Day in London. Was that not the idea?

We crossed the pond to attend The 02 Wireless Festival on July 4, 2008 in London's Hyde Park. The event was a lesson in indulgence, boasting five stages of continuous music. Add in a dozen stages of karaoke, Guitar Hero pavilions and Rock Band game tents, and it added up to a sonic overload. To say it was aurally overwhelming is an understatement.

We saw bits of The Wombats, Siouxsie Sioux, Get Cape Wear Cape Fly, and many others. And while tens of thousands of adoring fans sang along to Beck at the festival's main stage, a few hundred music faithful crowded into a small tent to see one of the most influential rock bands of all time, The New York Dolls.

The Dolls were way before my time, but they kicked off the punk movement and influenced bands ranging from The Clash, to Motley Crue, to Guns N' Roses, and The Smiths. It was worth the trip from North Carolina just to get a glimpse of these true true rock 'n roll pioneers.

Long before The Smiths, festival headliner Morrissey was such a fan of the Dolls that he was the President of their fan club. Morrissey was instrumental in reuniting the Dolls in 2004, and no doubt pulled some strings to get them at the 2008 02 Wireless Festival. Thank you, Moz.

I've only been to two Morrissey concerts and this was my second favorite, trailing last year's Morrissey concert at the House of Blues in Myrtle Beach, SC. It's hard to beat the intimacy of a small venue performance. But it was cool to see Moz treated like royalty in his homeland.

Pictured above: Morrissey wearing an American Idol t-shirt.

The O2 Festival Rocks...

All in all, there was much to like about the 02 Wireless Festival. Foremost, Hyde Park is a great venue for such an event. It's beautiful, spacious, and easily accessible by public transportation. Coming in, we breezed right through the entrance line. Going out, we filed right into the awaiting train at the nearby Hyde Park Corner Underground stop.

The event was very lenient with bringing in your own food and beverage items. We packed a weekend's worth of food and drink and waltzed right in, saving us a fortune in expense. And if you wanted more, the sheer volume of food and beverage vendors offered a multitude of choices with no lines at all. There were plenty of places to find a seat on the grass, or you could easily snag a picnic table if desired. And not once did I have to wait even one second to use the restroom.

But Give Me Less Bands and Longer Set Lists.

My only real gripe is that I don't get the five stages. I'm 100% into the idea of discovering new bands, but the logistics of navigating through the maze of crowds to the distant stages makes it impossible. Depending on where you stood, the three outdoor stages created a wall of sound that could snap someone on the edge of sanity. The two stages in tents imposed a limit to the actual amount of people who could see the bands. It was entirely possible to not get to see a band you paid big pounds to see.

The five stages are also a disservice to the bands. How is The National supposed to compete against Morrissey, The New York Dolls, and the other acts unfortunate enough to be scheduled at the same time? Instead of being exposed to thousands of new fans, the smaller stage bands end up playing for the same few hundred fans who would have seen them at the Pub down the street.

The set lists were also way too short. Give me fewer stages, more sprawling space, and longer set lists.

But hey, I'm not complaining. A sunny day spent with Morrissey in London is a good day indeed.

Million Dollar eBook Marketing Plan

2008-06-26T15:28:00.001-04:00

Lots of people have made a million dollars and then told you how they did it. But how many people tell you how they're going to make a million dollars and then show you? That's what I will to attempt to do.

My product will be an eBook that is tentatively scheduled to go on sale October 1, 2008. I don't know if you can make a million dollars selling an eBook, but I believe in aiming high. For the purposes of this experiment, we will also include any income from speaking fees, consulting fees, or other ancillary income that results from the sale and promotion of the eBook.

Let's explore some potential avenues for marketing the eBook:

Television Advertising and Promotion

I'm not an expert on infomercials or TV spots, so I'm not likely to go that route initially. If were going to run commercials, though, I would definitely explore the options offered through Spotrunner and Google TV Ads. I will, however, be pursuing guest appearances on TV talk shows, either directly or through a publicist.

Radio Advertising and Promotion

Radio advertising is not in my current plans, but radio promotion will be one of the key components of my marketing plan. I have retained the services of the top morning radio show promoter in the country. In the past, I have gone the do-it-yourself route. It worked well, but I just don't have the time to handle of the scheduling and logistics myself. The cost for the radio promotion will be around $3,000.

Print Advertising

I'm considering running display ads in industry-targeted magazines, but there are no plans for newspaper ads at this point. The display ads under consideration run $1,000-2,000 for 1/4 page slots, in addition to the design costs for the ads.

Press Releases

I do plan to send press releases through either PRNewswire or Business Wire. My goal with press releases is to land articles in newspapers and magazines. A release sent over the "features wire" with PRNewswire costs $680 plus a $200 membership fee.

Search Engine Optimization

What kind of search engine optimization trainer would I be if I didn't practice what I preach? I've done my keyword research, built a content rich site, and am pursuing inbound links and reputable directory listings. I have or will buy directory listings at Yahoo! ($299), Business.com ($199), and Best of the Web ($79). DMOZ remains elusive. A blog is under consideration.

Pay-Per-Click Advertising

I'm definitely going to pursue PPC advertising through Google AdWords and Yahoo Search Marketing. My early tests haven't shown great results for my niche, but I'll keep making refinements to hopefully hit on the winning formula. If I can produce a positive ROI, I'll spend an unlimited amount.

Viral Internet Marketing

I've got plans to write and produce some funny videos that should have the potential to spread around the Net. I'm building up my social networks and using bookmarking tools like Del.icio.us. I will leverage my networks of friends and colleagues to help spread the word.

Affiliate Marketing

Affiliate marketing is pretty new to me, but I'm learning as much as I can. The idea behind affiliate marketing is to have others promote and sell your eBook for a percentage of the revenue. I like the idea a lot, and would appreciate any advice.

Email Marketing

Over the years I've amassed a pretty large email list through my comedy performances and professional contacts. I'm currently using Constant Contact, and will send at least one good email to everyone. I don't plan to acquire any email lists, but I haven't ruled it out.

Direct Mail

Yep, I'll be using good old, fashioned direct mail. I'm particularly a big fan of postcard mailers, and use PrintingForLess for all my printing needs. I've acquired mailing lists for potential targets and am considering how large of a mailing to send. I may do a small test mailing of 250-500 contacts, with the option of quickly sending out a larger mailing if the test is successful.

International Marketing

Why stop in the U.S.? I may use elance.com to help find people who can promote the eBook overseas. In particular, I'll be seeking someone to help with SEO and viral marketing in the United Kingdom.

Publicist

If you know a good publicist, I will definitely consider hiring them.

Other...

This eBook marketing plan is still under development, so what am I forgetting?

How to Advance a Performance

2008-06-19T10:06:00.002-04:00

Whenever an artist is booked for a performance, it is crucial to touch base with the client directly at least a week prior to the performance. This is called “advancing” the show. With your signed contract in hand, call (not email) the client to confirm the following:

Dress
Show content and special requests
Directions, unloading, and parking details
Technical rider, staging, and sound details
Arrival time and performance time
Hotel reservations
Food/drink arrangements
Final payment

Dress

My personal opinion on dress is that the performer should always be the best dressed person in the room. Unless you have an act like Larry the Cable Guy, there is no good reason to be wearing jeans when everyone else is in suits. Of course, you don’t want to overdress, either. Ask the client what the dress for the event will be, and then dress a little nicer.

Show Content and Special Requests

Make sure you and the client are on the same page about the kind of show you're offering. If they ask you to avoid certain subject matter or language, then go out of your way to accommodate them. If they want you to do unusual song requests or custom material that is outside the scope of your contract, feel free to politely push back or ask them to speak to your booking agent.

Directions, Unloading, and Parking

In case you don’t know it already, Google Maps isn’t always correct. Plot out your directions before you call then go over them with the client. Get some anecdotal landmarks like “turn left right past the Wal-Mart”. You’ll save yourself some stress later. Also be sure that you have a designated area nearby to load your equipment and park your car. Have the client mail or fax you a parking pass ahead of time if necessary.

Technical Rider, Staging, and Sound

Just because the client signed the contract doesn’t mean that they read it. And it’s very possible that they won’t be the on-site contact, and that the on-site contact will have never seen your rider. So if there’s something you absolutely need, make it abundantly clear.

Arrival and Performance Time

The arrival time on your contract should not be overlooked. Often times you will have to meet your client at a specified time to be escorted to your performance location. Don’t waste your time or theirs. Make sure you specify where, when, and who you will meet. Also, double-check the performance time. Plans often change dramatically from the time the contract was issued.

Hotel Reservations

Get a hotel confirmation number from the client. If you’re going to be checking in late, call the hotel directly to confirm your reservation. About 1 out of 5 times someone at the client organization makes the hotel reservation under their name. You won’t know this when you get to the hotel at 2 AM, and neither will the person working the front desk at the hotel. Guess what happens then? You don't get the room that has been reserved and paid for. Save yourself the hassle and call ahead!

Food and Drink Arrangements

If your rider calls for a meal, confirm ahead of time when and where it will be served. Never count on anything. Take your own bottled water and power bars just in case.

Final Payment

If your contract calls for you to be paid following the performance, make sure they will have the check cut and ready for you. This doesn’t have to be awkward. When you call, just casually ask “Will I pick up a check that night?”, and follow that with “And just to confirm, it will be made payable to _________.” Sometimes corporate events and government agencies cannot have your check that night, no matter what your contract says. Avoid any night-of-show confusion by asking ahead of time.

If you have any additional provisions in your contract, be sure to go over each and every one. Remember that it is your responsibility to call ahead and ensure a successful performance.

If you have additional tips, advice, or funny stories, please post them in the comments section below...

Last Comic Standing 2008 Wants Clean Comedy

2008-06-04T14:20:00.002-04:00

Our friends over at Shecky Magazine pointed out a Scripps-Howard News Service piece by Terry Morrow, entitled "Cleaning up their acts." In the article, Last Comic Standing host Bill Bellamy extols the virtues of clean comedy.

Here are a few choice quotes from the piece:

Bellamy says a "clean" route to comedy will certainly be the standard for this season's "Last Comic Standing" (8:30 p.m. EDT Thursdays, NBC)...
Bellamy, who does dozens of club dates a year, says he sees the "clean" trend giving way to more honest material. Working cleaner material opens stand-up shows to larger audiences, even families, he says...
"Clean is way better," Bellamy says. "It draws in more people. More people can watch you."

At Larry Weaver Entertainment, we've been delivering clean comedy to audiences across America for nearly 20 years. It's little surprise that our most-booked comedian and speaker bills himself as "100% Clean Comedy."

See for yourself. I posted up three new comedy clips from Clean Comedian David Ferrell this weekend. Unlike much of what you find on the Internet, David's clips are suitable for work. So turn up the volume and have a few laughs!

Watch more clips from Comedian David Ferrell

I Think I Could Beat Kimbo Slice

2008-06-02T13:59:00.002-04:00

James “The Colossus” Thompson missed a huge opportunity on CBS Saturday night. Instead of arguing with the ref about the questionable stoppage, he should have seized the moment to stand over the prone body of Kimbo Slice and raise his hands high in the air.

It’s not like Kimbo would have done anything – he could barely muster the wind to do a post-match interview.

The good news for the debut of Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) on prime time television is that the show drew excellent ratings, and the audience peaked for the main event. The bad news is those that tuned in saw a frustrating end to the Scott Smith vs. Robbie Lawler fight followed by the unimpressive debut of the much hyped Kimbo Slice.

Yes, Kimbo won. But his absurd lack of cardio, questionable punching power, inability to stop a takedown, and cluelessness of what to do in the guard left a blueprint for his next opponent to follow. Not only was he exposed as a joke of a fighter, his aura of invincibility is gone for good.

Kimbo will almost assuredly lose his next fight. And the one after that…

So what do you do with Kimbo now?

It’s time for Kimbo to take a page out of the Floyd “Money” Mayweather playbook and turn heel. Playing the villain makes perfect sense. His supporters will still love him (with even more fervor), and his detractors will only want to see him lose that much more.

He needs to drop the “I’m just learning… I’m just a baby” talk and start talking smack. Say you’re the best. Say you’re the baddest man on the planet. Say no one can beat you. It’s what everyone wants to hear.

Then when you lose all of your fights, you can blame it on crooked refs, or too much partying with the ladies, or those crazy MMA rules. “I came to fight, not roll around on the ground like some sissy,” you could gruff. Hey, it’s worked for Tank Abbott for years.

After disgracing the sport of MMA in the U.S. for a few years, Kimbo could transition to Japan and feud with Bob “The Beast” Sapp in the Hustle promotion. They could settle the score once and for all over who is the most hyped disappointment.

A stranger asked me at the gym if I would fight Kimbo. Given the choice between stepping in the cage for three five minute rounds with Kimbo Slice (235 pounds) or WEC featherweight champion Uriah Faber (145 pounds), I’d choose Kimbo.

I may not be able to beat him, but I could probably outrun him long enough until he collapses from exhaustion onto the mat. Maybe then I could sneak in a few Lyoto Machida style kicks to eek out a victory.

Yeah, I think I could beat Kimbo Slice. But I don't have to. His next opponent will do that for me.

Comedian Booking Opportunities

2008-05-21T14:46:00.000-04:00

Professional comedians have a variety of venues to perform in - probably more than you can imagine. I've outlined a few of the most prominent ones below. Each of these venues have their own markets, associations, magazines, trade shows, and opportunities. I will write a blog post for each market below with links to further resources. Be sure to bookmark this page and subscribe to my RSS feed for updates.

Comedy Clubs

Every comedian should start in a comedy club, no matter where you want your career to go. There's no more welcoming and nurturing place to hone your craft. (Don't laugh, the venues below can be much tougher.) When you tell people you're a comedian, they will always assume that you play comedy clubs, even if you haven't set foot in one in years. You can be a touring comedian, working clubs across the country, or set up shop in a major town (New York, LA, Chicago, etc) and perform in the showcase clubs. The competition for top spots is fierce, and the pay is generally dismal. But for starting out, it's absolutely the way to go.

Colleges

Some comedians make their entire living playing nothing but college shows. These are typically booked through the school's Student Activities Office. The two big college market organizations are NACA (National Association for Campus Activities) and APCA (Association for the Promotion of Campus Activities), but you can also book comedy shows on college campuses through Residence Hall Associations, Student Government Associations, and even Greek (fraternity and sorority) Associations. High energy acts work great, and you need to be clean and in touch with today's college students.

Corporate Events

There is big money for comedians in the corporate events market. If you can do a 100% clean, 45-60 minute, non-offensive show that appeals to all ages, you need to look into the corporate market. The key is the time. You should have the amount and quality of material equivalent to a comedy club headliner, and it needs to be squeaky clean. If you're just starting out at comedy clubs and you have aspirations of someday doing corporate comedy, start being clean from the beginning. It's a lot tougher, but the financial rewards can be great.

Cruise Ships

For many comedians, getting a steady gig as a cruise ship entertainer is the ultimate goal. There is the real possibility of working 5 days a week, 50 weeks a year on the high seas. You'll travel the World, live a life of leisure, and "work" an hour or two a day making people laugh. For those not willing to make such a time commitment (which can be killer if you have a spouse and children), there is the opportunity of working cruise ships sporadically a few times a year or working specialty comedy cruises. Since these are considered plum gigs, competition is tough.

Churches

If you are both a comedian and a Christian, you should strongly consider the Christian comedy market. These shows may be held at churches, fellowship halls, Christian conferences, or any Church-sponsored venue or event. A small percentage are actually held in the church sanctuary. There's even a multitude of Christian-owned companies who need Christian comedians for their corporate events and year-end parties. To really excel in the market, it helps to have a strong testimony and a deep understand of all of the different Christian denominations. Don't try to fake it, there will be a quiz.

Music Clubs

If you're hip enough and can sell tickets you may want to consider a tour of music venues. Today's "alternative" comics are bypassing the comedy clubs to perform in non-traditional venues. This has actually been going on forever, as Steve Martin outlines in his book "Born Standing Up." These venues can work well for established acts with strong followings, especially among the college-aged crowd. If you've got an act that works great on morning radio, that really helps in getting the crowd out to the clubs. Deals are usually a percentage of the door, and it's largely up to you to put butts in the seats.

Theaters

Once you've hit the big-time and are a proven draw, you can take your earning power to theaters. Nothing beats the rush of playing a packed house in a beautiful theater. If you're not well known, you can still get work as an opening act for headliners (comedy, variety, or even music acts). If you're super-creative, you can turn your stand-up comedy performance into a "one-person show". A good themed show can turn a nobody into a touring theater act very quickly.

Festivals

It seems like every town in America has their own Festival. From the enormous (Little Rock, AR Riverfest) to the obscure (Bethune, SC Chicken Strut), these seemingly never-ending events offer a variety of entertainment. There aren't a lot of comedians working this market, so the potential is there. Positioning is key. You should be high-energy, engaging, and unafraid. If you mix music into your act, or if you can serve as an all-day emcee, opportunities abound.

Fairs & Expos

Fairs are similar to festivals, except they often last longer and take place on designated fairgrounds. Many fairs will use comedians as opening acts for music groups or other national headliners. If you're creative, you can also find ways to book your show on the smaller stages for multi-day or even week-long runs. If your act includes hypnotism, juggling, magic, music, props, puppets, or other ways to attract attention - all the better.

Private Parties

Private parties may include weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, reunions, or bat mitzvahs. Often times a family member will hire a comedian to "roast" or poke fun at the guest(s) of honor. Other times, the comedian is simply there as a different form of entertainment. These shows can be the most unpredictable, as you never know what you're getting into. And the people throwing them aren't usually professional event planners. But if you have strong nerves, this can be a lucrative field to explore.

Other Venues

High schools... Rest homes... What have I left out? Leave your message in the comments section below and remember to check back for expanded listings on each of these markets.

Trust Guard Review - Is It Worth the Money?

2008-05-16T14:36:00.002-04:00

"In the two weeks following installing the Trust Guard seals on my site, sales increased 116% over the prior two week period! Clearly, I've been losing sales for months by not having a third-party site verification like Trust Guard. On the Internet, Trust is everything. Thank you Trust Guard! I'm glad I found you." - Larry Weaver, FunnyEmployeeAwards.com

This bold testimonial appears on the website of Trust Guard, a site that sells third-part website verification seals. As the author of the quote, I can tell you that it is 100% true.

I installed the seals on Sunday, April 6, 2008. Comparing a 30-day period before and after installing the seals, sales were up 72.5%.

The reason is simple - people need to feel confident making a transaction on your website. No matter how professional your site looks, people will always (rightfully so) be leery of entering their credit card information.

With Trust Guard, customers can click on the seals to instantly verify your site's credentials without leaving your site, giving them confidence to complete their purchase.

Before discovering Trust Guard, I had investigated BBB, HackerSafe, Truste and Verisign. These verifications can easily cost you $1,000+ each. Trust Guard gives you multiple types of website verification for a much lower price. I chose the multi-seal package for the yearly rate or $397. It paid for itself very quickly.

The bottom line is this: If you need an economical way to create trust on your website, you can't go wrong with Trust Guard.

E-Junkie Reviews - Shopping Cart Software Review

2008-05-07T12:09:00.004-04:00

I've been using e-junkie.com as shopping cart software for my site FunnyEmployeeAwards.com for six months. After doing extensive research on shopping cart software, I chose and have stayed with e-junkie primarily for the following reasons:

ease of implementation into my current site,
ease of delivering downloadable products (ebooks, software, etc),
low price (only $5/month for up to 10 products).

E-Junkie Pros

As a little background, I already had a robust site in place for a year before I had any products for sale. My first product was a digital download, an eBook entitled Funny Employee Awards: Your Complete Guide to Organizing a Humorous, Entertaining, and Rewarding Recognition Ceremony. Just click on the link and choose "Add to Cart" to get a quick look at the e-junkie shopping cart.

As far as I can tell, e-junkie was developed for selling downloads. It really excels in this area, making it as easy as possible to integrate a simple shopping cart onto your site. You simply create an account, upload your digital files, add in the product info, and then e-junkie gives you the code to install the shopping cart buttons onto your site. As for payment, it seamlessly integrates with Google Checkout, PayPal, or Authorize.Net.

When someone buys my eBook, e-junkie delivers the file and payment gets routed to my bank account. I don't have to do anything.

Recently I've decided to sell a tangible good on the site, Funny Trophies. This has been a breeze, as well. E-junkie integrates with the USPS shipping calculator to make calculating tax and shipping via USPS Priority Mail extremely simple.

E-Junkie Cons

However, there are some notable drawbacks for potential e-junkie users. Most notably, e-junkie generates a thank you email for every item sold. I currently sell my trophies in a pack of 10. If I offered them individually, a buyer would receive a thank you email for each individual trophy. So if they bought 6 trophies, they'd get 6 emails. Cleary, that is not ideal. The user forums seem to indicate a change is coming, but no timetable is offered.

And unlike some other more robust offerings, e-junkie does not automatically generate packing slips, invoices, or receipts. PayPal offers some good resources, provided that your customers check out using PayPal. I offer both PayPal and Google Checkout as options, and I'd say 80% or more of my customers use Google Checkout, which as far inferior to PayPal as far as post-sale resources.

E-Junkie Verdict

So what's the final verdict on e-junkie.com? If you have multiple tangible products for sale, you may want to look elsewhere. But as the owner of a site that sells only 3 products, I have been extremely satisfied. E-junkie is absolutely perfect if you have software, an eBook, or other digital download for sale. Try e-junkie today!