Comedy News, Search Engine Marketing, and MMA - Larry Weaver's Blog

How Do I Become a Motivational Speaker

2021-04-25T16:31:00.002-04:00

One of the questions I'm often asked is, "How do I become a motivational speaker?"

Even though I'm known around the country as a Top Motivational Speaker, I followed a very non-conventional path to that career. I spent years as a nationally-touring stand-up comedian before clients started asking me about being a "speaker" for their meeting. So I sort of fell into this career.

But if I were starting out today - and not pursuing a career in stand-up comedy - here's the advice I would follow...

Purchase and read this book, "The Successful Speaker: Five Steps for Booking Gigs, Getting Paid, and Building Your Platform" by Grant Baldwin. It will answer your question much more thoroughly than I could begin to.

Next up, listen to Grant's podcast, The Speaker Lab. It's free. But make sure you buy his book, too. If you're not willing to spend $15 on your career, are you really serious about it?

The next thing to do is to find a Toastmasters Club near you. Go to a meeting. Get started. I'm sure that piece of advice opens up more questions - all of which can be answered on the Toastmasters website.

Full disclosure: I have never attended a Toastmasters meeting. However, my understanding is that you get lots of "stage time". That's the key to any performing arts career: stage time. Get as much as you can.

The advice so far would fall under "getting started". Once you're up and running (or if you are already there), the next step on your journey is to attend a National Speakers Association meeting. Find a NSA chapter near you and attend a monthly meeting or travel to their annual National meeting.

That's it. You are on your way to Becoming a Motivational Speaker! Go inspire the World.

Stelling Guitar - Rare Acoustic Guitars by Huss & Dalton

2016-03-26T12:52:00.004-04:00

I found a very rare acoustic guitar in a closet while cleaning out my parent's house:
Stelling Guitar Model SHD145
Serial number 66 of 101
Produced by Stelling Banjo Works of Afton, VA
Built by Huss and Dalton Guitar Company of Staunton, VA
Dated 01/05/1998

This is what I have learned...

Only 101 Stelling Guitars were made during a period from 1990-2002. They have been owned by Larry Sparks, Russell Moore (IIIrd Tyme Out), Charlie Sizemore, James King, Gary Brewer (Kentucky Ramblers), Gary Ferguson, and Leigh Gibson of the Gibson Brothers.

Geoff Stelling formed Stelling Banjo Works in 1974. He is considered among the best banjo makers there is. Jeff Huss began building instruments in 1984 as an apprentice at Stelling. He built several Huss guitars, and then built a few with the Stelling name on them for re-sale by Geoff Stelling. In 1993 he decided to leave Stelling to move into his home shop and build guitars full time. Some with his name, and some under the Stelling name. Mark Dalton became employed by Stelling in 1994. On a visit to Jeff's shop in the summer of 1995, the two began formulating ideas that led to the creation of Huss and Dalton Guitar Company, Inc. They continued to make guitars with the Stelling name on them for re-sale by Geoff Stelling until 2002.

My Dad bought Stelling Guitar #41 from Larry Sparks at a bluegrass festival and fell in love. From what I have been told, he approached Geoff about custom-building a guitar out of rare wood that he supplied, modeled after a Martin D45. The wood and several custom-touches make this a truly one-of-a-kind instrument. Dad was already in very poor health by 1998, and this guitar very likely rarely left the house. Personally, I have only vague recollections of seeing it. Since his passing in 2003, the guitar has remained untouched and I had completely forgotten it existed.

Here's a video of IIIrd Tyme Out performing "Erase All The Miles" featuring a Stelling RHD-100 (serial number 007):

Here's a video showing a Stelling RAD125 (believed to be serial number 016):

Search Internet message boards and you'll find no shortage of raves about Stelling guitars:

"This guitar would make you forget about a Martin." - banjoman56
"The workmanship is amazing - surpassing anything that Martin was doing at the time (and probably currently)." - WildJimbo
"Stelling guitars are great guitars." - docdobro
"It's an exceptional instrument in any way." - howsy-bee
"They are very nice guitars with great sound. I also have a 2004 Martin HD35 and the Stelling, which is modeled after the HD28 with a Tony Rice sound hole and pick guard, beats the HD35 in an A/B everytime." - jrfmgb

If you own a Stelling Guitar, let me know and I'll add it to this chronology:

First Stelling guitar, model CHD-100 (1990). The first four were made of unstained cherry.
CHD-100 (1990). The first Stelling guitar sold to the public. Robert Hannah, ordered and purchased this guitar in 1990. Now owned by his son Russell Hannah in Ringgold GA.
CHD-100 Owned by private collector in Afton, VA.
RHD-100 (1991) Originally purchased by Russell Moore. Now owned by Ruud de Bruin from The European World of Bluegrass, The Netherlands (see comments below). Photos on Facebook
First RAD-125 with abalone trim (1993) owned by Geoff Stelling.
RAD-125. Resides in Sussex County, Delaware with original owner (10/31/1994).
RAD-125. Owned by private collector in Middlesex, NC.
RAD-125. Owned by Dave Monroe (see comments).
RHD-125. Owned by Private Collector in Raleigh, NC.
RHD-125 (1996) Photos. Recently sold by David's Gear Bazaar in Beverly Hills, CA.
RHD-125 (1996) Photos
RHD-125
RAD-125 (1996) Once played by Charlie Sizemore. *FOR SALE*
RAD-125 (1997). Original owner, Gary Brewer.
RHD-125 (1997). Originally owned by Larry Sparks. Now owned by a private collector in Graham, NC.
RAD-125. Original owner, James King.
Model? Custom made with red spruce and Brazilian rosewood. Resides in east Tennessee (see comments section).
First SHD-125 model, made of claro walnut (1997).
RHD-125 (1997). Recently for sale in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Photos
RHD-125 (1997). Original owner, Gary Ferguson.
SHD-145 (1998) Owned by Larry Weaver of Raleigh, NC, author of this post. Photos
RHD-125 (1998). Resides in Bethel, OH (see comments section)
RHD-125 (05/18/1998). Owned by JRFMGB in Hudson, WI (see comments section)
RHD-125 (1998) Originally purchased by Leigh Gibson of the Gibson Brothers. Now resides in Lakeland, TN (see comments section)
First and only RHD-125S produced featuring a shaded top (1998)
RHD-125 (2000) Photos
SDH-145 (2000) Photos
Last Stelling production guitar made (2002). Owned by Geoff Stelling.

I also found this Stelling Red Fox Series on an archived page. No idea of the year or serial numbers.

To call a Stelling guitar rare is a bit of an understatement. It is truly a piece of guitar history.

Please share your photos, comments and reviews in the comments section below. Know of a Stelling Guitar for sale? Seen a Stelling Guitar on Craigslist or eBay? Let me know and I'll be happy to spread the word.

References:
http://www.stellingbanjo.com/blog/a-stelling-banjo-chronology/
http://www.hussanddalton.com/history.html
http://unofficialhussanddalton.freeforums.org/how-did-jeff-learn-guitar-building-t216.html
http://www.banjohangout.org/archive/246551
http://www.guitarnoise.com/blog/huss-dalton/

This is a fan page for Stelling Guitar enthusiasts and has no affiliation with Geoff Stelling, Stelling Banjo Works, Ltd. of Afton, VA, Jeff Huss, or Huss & Dalton Guitar Company of Staunton, VA.

E-junkie Reviews Larry Weaver, Creator of Funny Awards

2010-12-03T10:21:00.000-05:00

I've long been a supporter of e-commerce platform / shopping cart software e-junkie.com (read my e-junkie review). I use their services not only for selling Funny Awards online, but also to accept deposit payments for Larry Weaver Entertainment agency clients. The following interview is part of their recent in-depth profile, Featured Seller: Larry Weaver, Funny Employee Awards...

Larry Weaver is a professional comedian and creator of the Funny Office Awards Show: the company party where your employees are the stars. With nearly 20 years as both a corporate comedian and office worker, Larry brings a unique and refreshing perspective to workplace humor.

And of course we wanted to learn all about multi-talented Larry, and he has been very kind to spare sometime for an interview with us. Read further to learn from the comedian himself:

To start with, please tell us something about yourself.
I’m a supplier of speakers and clean comedy acts for the meetings and events industry. I’m also a stand-up comedian, writer and Internet marketing enthusiast. My company Larry Weaver Entertainment, LLC is based out of Durham, NC, USA.

You sell “Funny Employee Awards” through e-junkie. Tell us a little about that product.
“Funny Employee Awards” is a quick and low cost way to inject some much-needed fun into company meetings. Available in PDF format, it contains 101 funny printable certificates along with tips on organizing a humorous, entertaining, and rewarding recognition ceremony. We also offer stand-up comedians to host the awards ceremony live at your event. My entertainment agency caters to the corporate events market, so the live entertainment and awards fit together nicely.

How did you come up with the idea?
I worked as graphic designer for a pharmaceutical consulting company. The owner once asked me to Photoshop the head of a female coworker onto the body of a bikini model for a “funny award” he was creating for the annual office party. Keep in mind this was long before “The Dundies” episode on NBC’s The Office. I explained to him that this seemed inappropriate, and that I wanted no part of it. Undeterred, he used the glue-and-scissors method to do it himself. When he unveiled his homemade award at the party, everyone was highly uncomfortable. I learned that humor can really backfire in a corporate setting if not done correctly, and used the inspiration to create my own line of funny awards for bosses like him.

You enlisted some pretty notable writers to help create the awards?
Anyone who's tried to create their own funny awards knows that coming up with ideas is the toughest part. I was fortunate to make some incredibly talented life-long friends while attending the University of North Carolina. One of my long-time collaborators Reed Tucker is now a features editor at the New York Post. His help was invaluable. I also recruited his brother Bryan Tucker, an Emmy-nominated writer from Saturday Night Live, along with some other A-list comedians. So yeah, I had a real all-star cast of writers.

You’ve since expanded the line of awards?
I began selling Funny Employee Awards at www.FunnyEmployeeAwards.com. That domain has served me well, but it’s a bit long and inherently limited by its description. This year, I purchased the domain www.FunAwards.com and released Funny Awards for Teachers. In 2011, you can expect to see funny awards for sports, school and many other occasions.

According to you, what would be the apt explanation to describe E-Commerce and its advantages?
We have a pretty high sales volume and a client base from around the Globe. It would be impossible to fulfill orders manually. Using e-junkie’s digital delivery service, customers are able to purchase the product and access it immediately. It’s great for the customer. It’s great for our business.

As an internet marketing expert, tell us how it can be a boon for a business to touch new heights?
The Internet allows you to reach prospective customers at the very moment that they’re searching for your product or service. It’s the ultimate in instant gratification. It also allows the smallest of businesses to compete on a global stage. But it’s hard work. A lot of people don’t want to hear that part.

Today, Larry Weaver Entertainment is one of the most likable and trusted sources of entertainment, how do you feel about it?
First of all, thank you. I’ve been in the entertainment business for over 20 years and comedy is my passion. It’s what I love to do, so it never seems like work. I put my name, my face, and my reputation on the line for each and every transaction. Trust is a big issue on the Internet and people appreciate that there’s a real person there to help them when they need it.

Apart from being a great comedian, you have been a professional wrestling manager, an author, and an Internet marketing consultant, we are curious to learn about your experience in each of your profession.
I’ve opened concerts for Weird Al Yankovic and Faith Hill, worked as a pro wrestling manager alongside WWE Superstars Matt and Jeff Hardy, recorded several albums of funny songs (search iTunes for Larry Weaver), taught Internet Marketing classes across the U.S., and authored several books including my latest, “How to Hire Comedians.” Those experiences are all tied back to performing, so they do sort of fit together. I just do things that interest me.

As you are a multi-talented guy, many of your fans (or non-fans also) would draw inspiration from you, few lines for them?
Follow your passions. Good jobs are hard to come by these days, so you may as well take a stab at doing what you love. It just might pay off!

Thank you for a wonderful interview Larry, and we hope you reach new heights by spreading laughter everywhere.

To see samples of funny office awards or to order the certificates, visit http://www.funawards.com. You can also visit his Funny Awards blog where you can find free funny award ideas and stories from successful office parties around the world.

How to Make $20 Million a Year as a Comedian

2010-10-12T08:05:00.014-04:00

Want to pull in $20 million per year as a comedian? Get a puppet.

At least that's the message sent by a recent Forbes article on America's 10 Top-Earning Comedians. Two of the Top 3 grossing acts are ventriloquists. Here's the full list:

Jeff Dunham, $22.5 million
Dane Cook, $21 million
Terry Fator, $20 million
Chelsea Handler, $19 million
George Lopez, $18 million
Larry the Cable Guy, $16.5 million
Russell Peters, $15 million
Jeff Foxworthy, $11 million
Howie Mandel, $11 million
Bill Engvall, $10.5 million

According to the article, "the comics had to count stand-up as their primary income, a qualification that left funnymen like Jerry Seinfeld, Conan O'Brien and Jay Leno off this year's list." Curiously missing from the list is prop comic Carrot Top, who is undoubtedly raking in big bucks for his ongoing gig at the Luxor in Vegas.

I'm not sure we can read too much into the list, but let's try. Here's a breakdown by style:

33% Blue Collar Comedians (Cable Guy, Foxworthy and Engvall)
20% Ventriloquists (Dunham and Fator)
20% Minority Comedians (Lopez and Peters)
10% Female Comedians (Handler)
20% Other. High Energy? High Style? (Cook and Mandel)

Clearly it helps to have a gimmick. And before you flame me in the comments section, let me put that a more palatable way -- clearly it helps to have an easily definable style.

Being funny is one thing. Being marketable to the masses is another.

To successfully crack the Top 10 for next year you very well may need a good hook. So while you're working on your killer monologue, don't forget to work on your packaging.

You need a good angle. Or maybe just a puppet.

Fireworks Jokes - Redneck July 4th

2010-07-02T10:26:00.003-04:00

July 4th safety tip for Southerners: Don't drink and set off fireworks!

Rednecks love fireworks and beer -- a deadly combination. Every July 4th around the South rednecks blow themselves up left and right. See, the terrorists have got it all wrong. They should stop trying to build an underwear bomb and just open a roadside fireworks stand outside of K-Mart. Just hand out Old Milwaukees and M-80s and we will blow ourselves up for you. That's not jihad - that's Yee-had!

Watch more funny videos: Larry Weaver on YouTube

Keywords: fireworks jokes, firecracker jokes, redneck fireworks, fireworks safety, redneck july 4, southern july 4

Fun Awards for Teachers

2010-04-14T09:05:00.005-04:00

I'm pleased to announce that Funny Teacher Awards: Your Complete Guide to Organizing a Humorous, Entertaining and Rewarding Teacher Recognition Ceremony is now on sale!

Just in time for Teacher Appreciation Day 2010, this PDF book includes tips and advice for organizing a fun teacher recognition ceremony. You'll get humorous award certificates that are appropriate for everyone around the school.

The PDF includes 76 printable award certificates packaged in a downloadable PDF file that works on a PC or Mac. You can type directly onto the certificates using the latest version of free Adobe Reader software. Print as many as you like on the paper of your choice. Designs are set to work on standard 8.5” x 11” paper. It’s simple and easy to do.

Bonus Templates!
As a bonus, you'll get 7 certificate awards templates for creating your own custom funny awards. Download a free sample preview (PDF).

My first awards collection, Funny Employee Awards has sold thousands of copies around the World. For the most part, these awards tend to be a little more polite in nature.

If you have any questions about the book, post them in the comments section below or drop me an email.

Download Fun Awards Certificates for Teachers!
Purchase Funny Teacher Awards 100% securely at any of these great sites:

Funny Teacher Awards at FunAwards.com (official product site)

Meet the Fighters of the UFC

2009-11-24T08:00:00.003-05:00

I've been a fan of mixed martial arts (MMA) since the 1993 debuts of Pancrase in Japan and later the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) in the U.S. I was heavily involved in pro wrestling promotion at the time, and our former heavyweight champion Ken Shamrock became the first pro wrestler to compete in MMA. I've been hooked ever since.

Unbelievably, it's taken me all of these years to actually attend my first live event - UFC 106 at the Mandalay Bay Events Center in Las Vegas. I can't believe I waited so long.

UFC 106 happened to coincide with World Extreme Cagefighting (WEC) 44. Both events were held just days apart in the same city, so the parent company (Zuffa) decided to bill the event as "Fight Week". For a huge fight fan like me, it was a great opportunity to rub elbows with names I've grown to love over the years. There were tons of scheduled meet-and-greets and autograph signings. But you didn't even need to attend those events. The fighters were EVERYWHERE.

I've never witnessed any major sport where the top athletes are so accessible to the public. Over the course of the weekend, I:

Ran into Antônio Rodrigo Nogueira (one of the all-time legends) and Junior Dos Santos at Starbucks.
Spoke at length with former WEC champ Mike Brown about his fight just 24 hours earlier with Jose Aldo.
Trained cardio next to Anthony "Rumble" Johnson and Kendall Grove.
Lifted weights with trainer Mark Dellagrotte and "Ruthless" Robbie Lawler.
Shared the whirlpool with light heavyweight prospect Luiz Cane.
Cut weight in the sauna with Brock Larson, Amir Sadollah, and Josh Koscheck.
Bumped into Kevin "The Monster" Randleman, Jason McDonald, Frank Trigg, and Stephan Bonnar at the arena.
Talked Koscheck/Johnson fight strategy with Javier Gonzalez from Cung Le's "Universal Strength Headquarters"
Conversed with Martin Kampmann, Aaron Riley, Leonard Garcia, Xtreme Couture trainer Shawn Tompkins, the founder of Hitman Fight Gear, as well as SkySkrape and Punkass from Tapout.

I didn't have to stand in line to meet any of these guys. They were just around - at the yogurt shop, in the hotel lobby, on the escalators - and were extremely approachable. I ran into a few of the guys like Martin Kampmann and Mike Brown several times over the weekend and we chatted again just like we were old friends. Maybe it didn't hurt that I had Mariana with me much of the time, but still...

MMA athletes are a unique bunch. They start out fighting on small shows for very little money. Even an undercard fighter on a UFC PPV might only make a couple thousand bucks. These fighters rely on sponsors to help pay for their training. As a result, they tend to behave a little more like politicians than entertainers or athletes. They see their fans as the people who fund their dreams. Many times their sponsors actually are just fans who want to help out. But unlike politicians, you never get the impression that these guys are just feigning politeness. They really are genuinely nice.

I can't imagine going to an NFL game and hanging out with the team. I've stayed at the Loews with NBA players and they were largely unapproachable. Even in pro wrestling the athletes go out of their way to avoid the fans.

But there I was just hours before a UFC PPV sharing laughs with some of the biggest names in the sport. I don't mind saying it was awesome.

And, oh yeah... the fights were cool, too.

Free Funny Employee Awards

2009-11-12T17:07:00.003-05:00

I've just released the newly updated and improved Third Edition of Funny Employee Awards: Your Complete Guide to Organizing a Humorous, Entertaining and Rewarding Recognition Ceremony! This is the best edition yet with 101 funny printable certificates plus 6 awards templates for creating your own funny awards. My goal with this new version was to make the awards more accessible and with wider appeal.
To celebrate the new launch, I'm offering some free funny employee awards certificates. These free certificates do have a watermark in the lower corner that does not appear in the paid version. But hey, they're free! Download them now and inject a little fun into your next office meeting.

	Selective Hearing Impairment Award For Only Hearing What You Want to Hear. Download this free free funny employee award
	Baryshnikov Award For Most Skill in Dancing Around the Issues. Download this free funny employee award
	Running with the Bulls Award For Biggest Risk Taker. Download this free funny employee award
	Raisin Pay Award For Most Deserving of a "Raisin" Pay. Download this free free funny employee award
	Kool and the Gang Award For Excellence in Group Work. Download this free funny employee award
	Bermuda Triangle Award For the Desk Where Things Go in But Never Come Out. Download this free free funny employee award

These awards are perfect for office parties, staff recognition, year-end celebrations, company meetings, work appreciation, and any employee or type of business. Need more free funny employee awards? Order 101 Funny Employee Awards online today!

How and When to Contact an Agent

2009-08-05T09:30:00.004-04:00

Agents get calls and emails from entertainers every day looking for work. Almost all of them make a horrible impression. It's cliché, but so true that you only get one chance to make a great first impression. So before you cut your own legs out from under you, make sure you've followed these simple guidelines.

Make sure you have an act

Take the time to build up your act before contacting a booking agent. If you're a band, you can get pretty good rehearsing in the garage. But you still need to get up on stage to practice your craft in front of a live audience. And comedians? Don't even think about contacting an agent if you're just starting out.

But don't some clubs have emcees and opening acts, and don't some agencies book those slots?

Yes, excellent point! So make sure the agency you're contacting handles acts just starting out. But don't call and ask them. Do your homework ahead of time (see "Research the agency" below).

It's tough getting started in stand-up comedy. But an agent is not the place to turn for advice and nurturing.

Get your materials together

Let's suppose you have a killer act and you've been slaying audiences in your hometown. Time to contact an agent, right? Not so fast. Make sure you have some equally killer promotional materials.

Here's a little secret for you... Agents don't book comedians. Agents book video clips.

And to a lesser extent agents book photos, testimonials, and reviews. See what I'm saying? It doesn't matter how great your act is live. You have to capture it on videotape - professionally. The video must feature a live performance that exactly reflects what the end client will be buying. Don't bother contacting an agent until you have a professional-quality video of your act. And if you're not sure if your videotape is professional-quality, then it probably isn't.

Post your video online. YouTube is an excellent place to start.

Your video should get right to the funny. Agents don't want to sit through an introduction, musical montage, client list, graphics, or testimonials. Avoid lots of cuts and edits.

You're also going to need professional photos. You know, photos taken by professional photographers. Not ones taken by your friend with a digital camera.

And write a 250-400 word spirited bio. Highlight your experience and accomplishments, without it sounding like a history lesson. Describe your show, what makes you unique, and why a presenter should hire you.

If you really want to look professional, make sure you have a website. It doesn't have to be elaborate, just make sure it's hosted on your own domain and not MySpace.

Research the agency

Would you call a company looking for a job if you knew nothing about the company? Of course you wouldn't. So why call an entertainment agency without knowing anything about the agency?

What is the agency's specialty (clean comedians, keynote speakers, etc.)? What geographic region do they cover? What markets do they focus on (colleges, corporate, Christian, festivals, fairs, etc.)?

Here's another insider secret: you can typically find this information on the agency's website. Before you pick up the phone or dash off an email, be sure to thoroughly review the agency's website. If you ask a question that is clearly answered on the website, you're getting off to a very bad start.

Ask about their submission policy

You're almost ready to contact the agency, but there's one last step... find out if the agency has an existing submission policy. Again, you can usually find this information on their website. If they have a clear guideline established for submitting acts, follow it to the letter.

Sample email for an agency without a clear submissions policy:

Hi Agent, I've been following your company for years. I recently worked with [name drop agency act] Fantastic Frank at the Comedy Conundrum. He raved about your agency and recommended that I contact you. I've been performing for five years and have 45-60 minutes of solid, clean comedy suitable for general audiences. Frank knows you like to offer new acts to your cruise ship clients, and thinks I'd be a great asset to your agency. When you get a chance, please let me know your submission policy. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Awesome Tom
(919) 555-1212
http://www.websitelink.com

p.s. I love your recent website redesign. The new video player is really impressive!

BONUS ADVICE: Tips for Submitting to Christian Comedy Acts

Their specialty is squeaky clean comedy. If you can't do a church show, you're not what they are looking for.
They don't typically list acts on the site who can't easily headline a 60-minute show on their own.
Don't mail unsolicited materials. They will go directly into the trash can.
Go to the Christian Comedy Acts website, click on the Contact page, and follow the link to Submit Your Act.
Do not call with questions.
Super-important insider tip: If you really want to be listed, get a personal referral from an act already listed on the site. This is your number one piece of advice. If you want to get attention, have an agency's existing act put their own reputation on the line for you.

Got advice or funny stories about contacting an entertainment agency? Please share it in the comments section.

Getting Started

2009-07-14T09:05:00.003-04:00

"How do I get started in stand-up comedy?" It's a question I get asked a lot, so I thought I'd share from my experience.

Your first big goal as a comedian should be to become a strong comedy club emcee. They are the act that goes up first before the feature act (typically 30 minutes) and headliner (45-60 minutes). Even if you don't aspire to perform in comedy clubs, they are definitely the place to hone your chops. To become a good emcee, you'll need to put together a tight 15-minute set of material that will work for most any audience. Here's how...

First of all, get on stage as often as you can, anywhere you can. That's really the secret when staring out - perform as much as possible. There were not a lot of clubs in Chapel Hill where I started, so I played at coffeehouses, bakeries, dorm rec rooms... anywhere that had a microphone. Look around town for "open mic" shows. These may be mostly musicians, poetry, or other types of acts. But if they'll let you do comedy, get up there. Starting out, you'll need the experience of standing up in front of a crowd reciting your routine. In fact, it may not be a bad idea to start out at non-traditional venues before hitting the comedy clubs. You only get one chance to make a first impression, so getting some stage experience before hitting a major comedy club stage could prove to be beneficial.

Stick with it. The first few times you do comedy, you'll probably have the high of being on stage and (hopefully) making people laugh. But after a while, you may feel like you're getting worse. That's just part of the natural growth. Keep at it.

Videotape your sets and watch yourself. I have always hated watching myself on video, but it does help. You can also audio tape your sets and listen to them if you prefer. The point is to really review what got laughs and what didn't. You won't be able to remember correctly if you don't tape your sets.

Carry a notebook to write down your ideas. This is a pretty classic piece of advice that you'll get from any comic. Basically, you never know when inspiration will strike. Make sure you have a paper and pen ready at all times.

Join groups of likeminded comedians. Hanging around with other comedians is always a good idea. But try to always be in a group where you're the worst act. This will inspire you to become better. I've seen too many cases of comedians just starting out and forming groups of other "open mic" comedians. A year or two later, everyone is still at the same level, still telling the same jokes at the same open mics. Some people are happy spending their whole life as an emcee. That's fine for them, but it won't help you grow.

Read books and go to school. This isn't for everyone, but there are some excellent books about stand-up comedy. Many comedy clubs also teach ongoing classes on writing and performing. Contact the club nearest you and inquire about classes.

Finally, get on stage as often as you can, anywhere you can. It bears repeating. Now get out there and make some people laugh!

Got advice on becoming a stand-up comedian? Please share it in the comments section.

Free Teacher Appreciation Week Ideas

2009-05-04T13:16:00.002-04:00

Looking for "Funny Teacher Awards"?
101 Funny Certificates for Teachers, Faculty and Staff
From comedian Larry Weaver, these awards are good-natured fun. Show teachers you appreciate their hard work, long hours, and tidy classrooms. Download your copy today at
www.funawards.com/teacher-awards

Need free gift ideas for Teacher Appreciation Week? In celebration of teachers everywhere, our site Funny Employee Awards is giving away a FREE Teacher of the Year Award certificate template.

You can customize the certificate within seconds by typing directly onto the PDF template before printing. This free gift is sure to brighten the day of your favorite teacher! Just click the link below to download the PDF and enjoy!

Click Here to Download Free Award (PDF)

There's even an area to write your own customized message. This could be serious or silly. Here are some ideas:

For inspiring me to achieve my greatest potential.
For your hard work, dedication, and patience.
You deserve a raise. But for now, this free award will have to do!

Customize it even further by creating your own handmade frame or certificate jacket (just get an oversized piece of poster board and cut four slits to hold the corners of the certificate).

If you like this free Teacher of the Year Award certificate template, we only ask that you please tell a friend. Post the following link to Facebook, mention it on your blog, or email it to your friends.

Original post: http://blog.funawards.com/2009/05/teacher-appreciation-day-2009.asp

Funny Teacher Awards
101 Funny Certificates for Teachers, Faculty and Staff
From comedian Larry Weaver, these awards are good-natured fun. Show teachers you appreciate their hard work, long hours, and tidy classrooms. Download your copy today at
www.funawards.com/teacher-awards

Hire Actors in North Carolina

2009-03-23T09:05:00.003-04:00

Watch and Comment on Larry's Commercial at YouTube

I'd like to give a word of thanks to my long-time acting agent, Jackie Pressley of Capital Artists, Inc (CAI). Fellow comedian and actor Mic Cover got me in the ground floor with CAI around fifteen years ago.

Despite absolutely no acting experience, Jackie took me on anyway. At the time I was a hot-shot young comedian filled with a combustible mix of confidence and naivete. My comedy group frequently made the rounds in New York and Los Angeles, and we had the ears and eyes of some of the biggest producers in show business. I regularly fielded advances from Hollywood heavyweights like Sandollar Productions (Rosanne, Buffy the Vampire Slayer), attended exclusive industry parties with Jerry Seinfeld, and could get the head of casting at ABC on the phone with one call. There was even some buzz that one of the members of our group was in the running as the host of a brand-new show on Comedy Central called The Daily Show.

As you might imagine, I did some very high-profile auditions back then. I'm sure they were beyond awful. I had no idea what I was doing.

That's the true beauty of Hollywood. When you have a "buzz" going, your name can open any door. People will watch you and take you very seriously - even though you're really just a completely inexperienced country boy from North Carolina who just months earlier had never flown in a plane.

Fast-forward 15 years and I still go on auditions. I have a different confidence now, one that comes with years of experience and the comfort of knowing that the acting gig I'm shooting for won't make or break me. I still don't call myself an actor. To me, that is a slight on others who have studied the craft for years. I present myself as a "comedian", and Jackie sends me on auditions accordingly. On set, I'm professional, joke with the crew, and try and keep everyone laughing. It's all about knowing your role (literally) and playing to your strengths.

Jackie has stood by me for 15 years now, and I thank her for her hard work and determination. If you need to hire an actor for a commercial, TV or film fole in Wilmington, Raleigh, Greensboro, Charlotte, or anywhere in the Southeast, contact Jackie at Capital Artists, Inc. Be sure to tell her that Larry Weaver sent you!

Grove Park Inn Review - Asheville NC

2009-02-12T12:08:00.002-05:00

Since it's opening in 2001, a lot of hype has surrounded the Grove Park Inn's $40 million spa. Travel and Leisure magazine rated the facility the 13th best hotel spa in the World in 2008, behind such notable properties as The Mandarin Oriental in Bangkok, Thailand. Is it possible that the mountains of North Carolina could hold such a Global treasure? Mariana and I decided to find out.

This was my second trip to the Grove Park Inn. My first was about 15 years ago, pre-Spa, and I was not impressed. I tend to measure a hotel by the rooms and, let's face it, the Inn's accommodations aren't its strong point. That much hasn't changed. The "Arts and Crafts" movement decor are supposed to hearken back to turn of the (last) century charm. To me, it just looks like cheap dorm room circa 1988. But that's just personal preference.

Upon entering the lobby, large fireplaces, rocking chairs, and folksy boutiques give off a "Giant Cracker Barrel" vibe. Charming? Maybe. But it didn't hit us right away.

After checking into the room, we immediately headed for the spa. Your treatments allow you full-day access to the facilities, and I planned to milk every precious moment out of the experience.

Despite a similar exterior to the Inn, the spa has a completely different vibe. The decor is modern, the amenities are pristine, and the music and lighting combine to create a welcoming and refreshing atmosphere.

The pool area, a focal point of the spa's promotional materials, is incredible. The motif is that of an underground cave, similar to a giant version of Hugh Hefner's infamous grotto. Cascading waterfalls provide a welcoming wall of ambient noise, giant rocks line the walls and ceiling, and welcoming fireplaces offer intimate spaces to cozy up.

With a pool to ourselves, I floated on my back while enjoying relaxing music you can only hear underwater. I looked up at the beautiful faux stars that adorned the ceiling above. I had my beautiful wife, a roaring fireplace, soothing music, and picturesque surroundings. It was truly heaven.

The experience was, in short... amazing.

The spa was so amazing, in fact, that it changed our entire outlook on the Inn. Coming out, we saw the property in a whole new light. We enjoyed some fried oysters at the Magnolia Lounge, hit the Great Hall for a salmon BLT and enjoyed a breakfast buffet the next morning at the Blue Ridge Dining Room. When it came to leave, we had completely lost all track of time. The mountain serenity provides the perfect backdrop to just sit on the porch or relax by the fire for hours. Your cares will seem miles away.

I came in with low expectations, and left ready to return again soon.

*****

We moved downtown to The Renaissance Asheville Hotel, a perfect stay for exploring downtown Asheville by foot. We enjoyed some organic fare (garden salad, tico burrito) at the well-reviewed vegetarian eatery The Laughing Seed. It's definitely a must-visit. Desert came in the form of hand-made truffles at The Chocolate Fetish, a required stop for anyone with a sweet tooth. We had planned to dine at Zambra's that evening, but the daily menu just didn't offer appeal. Instead we opted for a place closer to the hotel, Bouchon French Bistro. This turned out to be another unexpected highlight of the trip. The Trout Almondine is exceptional, as was everything else we tried.

*****

Next stop on the tour was downtown Greenville, SC, where I was in town to present an Internet Marketing Seminar to the NC/SC Associations of Festivals and Events. As is typical with downtown convention hotels, The Hyatt Regency was bustling with an odd assortment of gangstas, punks, ne'er-do-wells, and wedding guests. Adding to the insanity was a Narcotics Anonymous family convention, a rowdy group that wasn't about to let the absence of drugs rain on their 24-hour party. The Grove Park Inn, it was not.

We did, however, have another great dining experience at Soby's, a Greenville restaurant offering New-South cuisine with biscuits as appetizers. The Shrimp and Grits was right at the top of the list of best ever, easily blowing away a similar offering down the street at Sassafras. The next day brought a trip to Tsunami, located conveniently by the hotel. It won't go down as the best sushi ever, but it was good, nonetheless.

*****

After three hotels in four days, we were eager to get back home. While I'm not dying to revisit the Greenville Hyatt, I do have my sights set on returning to the Grove Park Inn. I've already suggested to my extended family that we spend Christmas at The Grove Park Inn in lieu of exchanging presents. If anyone has done so, or has any other tips about the Grove Park Inn, please share them in the comments section.

John Boy and Billy - The Big Show

2009-01-14T07:50:00.001-05:00

I've wanted to appear as a guest on the nationally-syndicated John Boy and Billy radio show for years. I grew up in the same town as John Boy (Graham, NC), and I've watched their popularity skyrocket over the past 20 years. Guest coordinator Marci Moran graciously invited me to appear in December to promote my eBook Funny Employee Awards.
I arrived early for my appearance. The first thing that struck me was how much fun everyone was having. People were laughing and joking as they arrived at work. These are clearly people that enjoy their job - it's not an act.
Marci lead me from the Green Room into the Blue Room adjacent to the studio so I could watch the morning's broadcast. When it came time to do my bit, I lead off with some stand-up comedy bits that I centered around John Boy's hometown of Graham. I figured it was better to be funny than to plug my product. The risk paid off. After my bit, John Boy invited me to hang around for the remainder of the hour.
I even got to play a round of "Wordy Word" where I somehow beat John Boy and his partner. I'm not sure how I managed to pull that off with all the nerves.
I want to thank John Boy, Billy, Marci, Jackie, Jeff, and all of the Big Show crew for having me on the show. It was a thrill that I won't soon forget!

Funny Employee Awards - 101 Funny Employee Award Certificates eBook

2008-12-01T06:00:00.008-05:00

The new, improved, second edition of my best-selling eBook "Funny Employee Awards: Your Complete Guide to Organizing a Humorous, Entertaining and Rewarding Recognition Ceremony" is now on sale!

This new version is bursting at the seams with 101 funny printable certificates plus 6 awards templates for creating your own funny awards.

More Funny Than Ever.
Over 40 new funny awards. We've taken out some older certificates, and added new humorous awards.
Better Looking Design.
New award certificate design looks more professional and prints better!
Written by Comedians for Non-Comedians.
Writers from Saturday Night Live, the New York Post, and top professional touring comedians bring you the funniest awards yet!

These awards are perfect for office parties, staff recognition, year-end celebrations, company meetings, work appreciation, and any employee or type of business.
The first edition delighted readers in the United States, Australia, Canada, United Kingdom, Germany, Hong Kong, Ireland, Mexico, The Netherlands, and South Africa. This new edition is guaranteed to be a Worldwide phenomenon!

Funny Employee Awards

Download 101 Funny Employee Awards Certificates! Purchase Funny Employee Awards 100% securely at any of these great sites:

Funny Employee Awards at funawards.com (official product site)
Funny Employee Awards at lulu.com

The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch - Million Dollar Pitch

2008-11-26T08:59:00.000-05:00

One of my big promotional ideas for FunnyEmployeeAwards.com was to appear on CNBC's The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch. I studied the show all year to find out what sort of businesses the producers liked to profile. Then in September the show announced a call for businesses to pitch their Million Dollar Idea. Perfect timing! I set up my camcorder, recorded my 30 second pitch, and sent in the video. And what happened next? The financial markets collapsed, and all talk turned to the economy.

It seemed the World would never see my brilliant pitch. Until now...

Donny, I'm still waiting for your call.

Million Dollar Marketing Report - October

2008-11-07T08:03:00.003-05:00

This is part of a series of posts on the Million Dollar eBook Marketing Plan. Here are the highlights of my "Funny Employee Awards" book promotion for the month of October:
Thursday, Oct 2 - PR: pitched the story directly to magazine editors via email.
Friday, Oct 10 - Mailer: mailed 1,250 postcards to corporate entertainment buyers (previous clients, not a purchased mailing list)

Wednesday, Oct 15 - Email: emailed 2,500 clients (not a mailing list)
Ongoing Marketing Tasks:

Wrote two solid blog posts per week and cross-posted on Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, LinkedIn Answers, Yahoo Answers, and more.
Recruited affiliates via email and personal contact to promote the book.

I spent the majority of the month prepping for the two big pushes in Nov/Dec: morning radio interviews and press releases.

Wrote 1,000 word article for Incentive Magazine, and contributed to articles for the Associated Press and Society of Human Resource Managers.
Worked with a comedy writer Dan French to develop morning radio show comedy bits around office parties and funny awards.
Wrote one sheet and sample questions for radio (PDF) and posted to website.
Had NewspaperGrl write and schedule 5 releases with PRWeb
Scheduled release with FlashNews

Will I reach my unrealistic goal of $1,000,000 in sales by the end of the year? Keep checking back to find out. Do your part: buy the book and spread the word...

Comedy on the Radio

2008-11-05T09:05:00.007-05:00

Has it been too long since you've heard the dulcet tones of my voice over the airwaves? Well, power up the radio 'cause I'm coming to a dial near you. Listen intently as I promote my new Funny Employee Awards eBook. I'll be sharing funny office stories, holiday cost-cutting tips, and tons of award ideas. Don't miss it!
All times listed are Eastern Standard Time (EST). Taped interviews will air at a later date.

Tuesday, November 24, 2008
8:10 AM	KLDJ	Duluth, MN	Austin Michael & T. Claire
9:15 AM	KZKX	Lincoln, NE	Carol and Mick
Taped	WFLC	Miami, FL	Julie Guy & Tamara G
Taped	WJBX	Ft Meyers, FL	Zito & Garrett
Taped	WSMW	Greensboro, NC	The Wicker Show
Taped	WTGB	Washington, DC	Kelly Knight
Taped	WBXQ	Altoona, PA	Adam Erickson
Taped	KUDL	Kansas City, KS	Dan Hurst
Thursday, November 20, 2008
9:00 AM	WPLR	New Haven, CT	Chaz & AJ
9:45 AM	KDKB	Phoenix, AZ	JR & Mary
Taped	WGRF	Buffalo, NY	Norton in the Morning
Taped	WRKI	Danbury, CT	Ethan & Lou
Taped	WLRQ	Melbourne, FL	Mike & Mindy
Taped	WLW	Cincinnati, OH	Jim Scott
Taped	KAZR	Des Moines, IA	Morning Moose & B-Sox
Taped	WCRN	Worcester, MA	Hank Stolz
Thursday, November 13, 2008
8:00 AM	WPYX	Albany, NY	Wolf, Lovey, & Mickey
8:20 AM	WDGG	Huntington, WV	Rod & Rocky
8:30 AM	WRKT	Erie, PA	Mojo and Nat
9:00 AM	WOCM	Ocean City, MD	Bulldog & The Rude Awakening
Taped	WTPA	Harrisburg, PA	Coffey & Amy
Taped	WRIT	Milwaukee, WI	Murphy & Meg
Taped	WJKK	Jackson, MS	EJ Rivers
Taped	WAQY	Springfield, MA	Bax & O'Brien
Taped	WMC	Memphis, TN	Ron Olson & Dana Fox
Taped	KLOU	St. Louis, MO	Smash Morning Show
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
8:00 AM	WPDH	Poughkeepsie, NY	Coop & Tobin
8:15 AM	WHOF	Canton, OH	Gary Rivers & Amy Malone
8:30 AM	WCMF	Rochester, NY	Bill, Mule, Sally & Lumpy
8:45 AM	WHOG	Daytona Beach, FL	Frank & Tracy
Taped	WXKR	Toledo, OH	Mark Benson
Taped	WKKW	Morgantown, WV	Big John
Taped	WLQT	Dayton, OH	Kim Faris
Taped	WNBB	Greenville, NC	Hammer
Taped	WHUD	West Chester, NY	Mike & Kacey
Taped	KIXQ	Joplin, MO	Brooks & Barnes
Taped	KPRI	San Diego, CA	Madison
Taped	WBBB	Raleigh, NC	Salt & Demetri
Thursday, November 6, 2008
8:15 AM	KGGO	Des Moines, IA	Lou & The Round Guy w/ Heather Burnside
8:45 AM	WVHR	Huntingdon, TN	Kelly Green & Cassie Ferguson
4:00 PM	WXRX	Rockford, IL	Stone & Double T
Taped	KBBY	Ventura, CA	Bo Jaxon
Taped	WZZO	Allentown, PA	Bearman & Keith
Taped	WAJI	Ft Wayne, IN	Dirk Rowley & Jeannette Rinard
Taped	WUSJ	Jackson, MS	Scott Steele & Karen Lowe
Taped	WDDD	Carbondale, IL	Wes & April
Taped	WKLQ	Grand Rapids, MI	Grey & Kluck
Taped	WRKR	Kalamazoo, MI	Mike McKelley & Diane Vunovich

How to Attract Top Affiliates

2008-11-03T08:06:00.002-05:00

I don't have a ton of experience with affiliate marketing. When I launched the Funny Employee Awards affiliate program earlier this year, I wasn't sure what to expect. Luckily, I've received some excellent advice from Jeremy Schoemaker:

"For affiliates its pretty simple… they either make money or they don’t. If I were you I would blow it out of the water by offering a MUCH higher payout. I think its as important for you to get brand recognition as it is to get sales $$$ at this time.

Here is the scoop when it comes to affiliates. They are SO adverse to change but once they try it they will probably keep going. So your goal is just getting them to try it. Maybe offer a 100% payout for their first month? Sure you break even for their first month but the brand recognition and buzz might be worth it.""

Offering 100% payout for the first month is such a great idea, and I never would have thought of it. It's definitely something I'm going to try for my next project.
In the meantime, if you have some great ideas for promoting my eBook "Funny Employee Awards," join my affiliate program and drop me an email. I can offer a much higher payout listed on the site if you can deliver the traffic.

Chris Jericho Book Review - A Lion's Tale

2008-10-27T08:05:00.004-04:00

I just finished reading Chris Jericho’s autobiography, “A Lion’s Tale: Around the World in Spandex”. It’s the true story of a boyhood dream to become the top professional wrestler in the world. Chris is currently the WWE champion, proving that dreams do come true.
Chris is a genuinely funny guy, and it comes through in the writing. I literally could not put the book down. His hilarious tales of working in Mexico, Germany, Canada, and Japan create a compelling read that you don’t have to be a pro wrestling fan to enjoy.
Chris grew up as a genuine pro wrestling fan, even building his own “ring” and creating his own federation. I can relate.
I got my first in-person look at Chris on August 2, 1996 in Plymouth Meeting, PA at the Lulu Temple. I had driven up from North Carolina to spend the weekend with Rob Van Dam and experience ECW first-hand.
Chris faced Sabu in the main event. From the minute Chris walked through the curtain, I knew he would be World Champion some day. He just had “it”.
Later, I got to meet Chris at the infamous ECW hotel, a place Chris describes in the book as "a run-down Travelodge in the middle of a Philly crack neighborhood."Any establishment that would regularly welcome the rowdy crew of ECW miscreants tells you all you need to know about the accommodations.
Rob and I stayed in our room and out of trouble. Before long, Johnny Smith, Sabu, and later Chris Jericho dropped by to hang out and share stories. Chris listened intently as Sabu recounted his recent WCW run where he walked away after management told him he’d never work with Sting.
At one point, Chris leaned over to me and confessed that we was “marking out”, meaning that Christopher Irvine, the life-long pro wrestling fan, was thoroughly enjoying Sabu's tales.
I rant into Chris at an airport a few years later. I gave him a copy of the book I had published with Dave Meltzer called “Tributes: Remembering Some of the World's Greatest Wrestlers”. Word got back to me that he enjoyed the book and had passed it around the WCW locker room. That love of wrestling, thirst for knowledge and drive to be the best propelled Chris to the very top of the business.
If you have even a passing desire for a glimpse inside the World of pro wrestling, you can't go wrong with “A Lion’s Tale: Around the World in Spandex”.

Loews Santa Monica - My Favorite Hotel in the World

2008-10-22T08:10:00.004-04:00

As a traveling comedian, public speaker, and husband of a flight attendant, I've stayed at probably 500+ hotels in 37 states and several foreign countries. After much soul-searching, I've decided that my favorite hotel in the World is... drum roll, please...

The Loews Santa Monica Beach Hotel

I've stayed there three times, and I can't wait to go back. Now before you start calling me crazy and raving about the Dar Al Masyaf in Dubai, read on. These are my personal criteria for evaluating hotels I've visited, in order of importance...

**********

Within Walking Distance to Great Shops and Restaurants
I do enough driving in my day to day life, so when I'm on vacation I don't want to drive. My ideal hotel is within safe (emphasis on safe) walking distance to World-class dining and shopping.

The Loews Santa Monica is just steps away from Third Street Promenade, where you can find any food your heart desires, pretty much any major retailer you can name, and plenty of free and exciting street performers to enjoy. There's also Santa Monica Place Mall, Main Street District, and the upscale Montana Avenue just a short ride away. And don't forget my inexplicable love of Cha Cha Chicken, just blocks away from the hotel.

Ocean Front
I never tire of visiting the beach. Seriously, it never gets old. I rarely get in the water, I don't surf, and I'm not a sun bather. I just like the vibe of the beach, and the sight and sounds of the ocean waves.

The Santa Monica Loews is not technically ocean front - there is a very small street separating the beach from the hotel. And the Santa Monica beach doesn't boast the best sand or cleanest tide. Honestly, the beach itself is just OK. For me, though, the Santa Monica Pier more than makes up for it. I'm an absolute sucker for amusement parks, and an amusement park on the beach is about as good as it gets. The nighttime views of the World-famous Pier Ferris wheel from the Loews balcony are to die for.

Workout Facilities
My wife has to work out on vacation, which makes a good gym very important for me.
The Loews Santa Monica Beach Hotel has as good a gym as any hotel I've stayed at anywhere in the World. Plus there's a Spa, saunas, locker rooms, Yoga classes, and lots of other fitness-related amenities.

Nightlife
Mariana likes to dress up and go out. And as I already mentioned, I'd prefer not to drive. Having local nightspots to hit is a must.

The Loews Santa Monica is surrounded by places to go at night. Skip the restaurants on the Promenade and just visit the neighboring hotels. That's right, go hotel-hopping. Start next door at Le Merigot, then hit Shutters on the Beach and catch the sunset at Casa Del Mar. Head back to the hotel and finish out the evening at the ultra-hip Viceroy. Counting the Loews, that's five hot spots within three city blocks.

Nearby Outdoor Activities
I'm hardly an adventurer, but I love to have outdoor things to do near or around the hotel.

The Loews Hotel Santa Monica has the aforementioned Pier and Third Street Promenade, along with Palisades Park and the Santa Monica Boardwalk. One of my joys in life is to rent a bike (right outside the hotel) and ride either North towards Malibu or South through Venice Beach. Whether on foot or on bike, the sights and sounds of the boardwalk are an experience not to be missed.

Cool Vibe
This one is hard to explain, but it's just a feeling that you get from staying at the hotel.

The Santa Monica Loews Hotel definitely exudes a hip vibe. For starters, there are likely to be celebrities, sports teams, or LA power moguls staying, visiting, or holding court in the lobby. You don't know who you might run into. And even if you're not into that, sitting out by the pool overlooking the Pacific Ocean definitely makes you feel like a star.

Service
I don't need my eyelids covered in cucumbers as I sit in the sauna, I'm just looking for good, friendly service.
The Loews Santa Monica Beach Hotel has upgraded my room at no charge every time I've stayed there. They call me by my name and get me anything I need. What more could I ask for?

Hotel Room
I'm putting the room itself last on my list of criteria. Seriously, after 500 hotels, a room is pretty much a room. I want a comfortable bed, a good view, and clean amenities. That should be standard.
The Loews Santa Monica has passable rooms with comfortable beds and spectacular views - particularly of the Santa Monica Pier.

**********

So those are my criteria. Noticeably missing from the list is Price. Sure, price is a factor. I'm not considering "any hotel in the World if it was free" - I'm only considering properties that I can reasonably afford right now. I have yet to stay at a Ritz-Carlton or Four Seasons. I'm also a little biased to mainland US destinations. I like to travel the World, but for lots of reasons it's just not as fun as it used to be.

Considering these criteria, my favorite places to visit are Santa Monica, Miami Beach, and Las Vegas. I'd like to hit the Loews Miami Beach and The Hotel at Mandalay Bay. I also wouldn't mind getting back to New York, London, Austin, Berlin, Monterrey, and Playa Del Carmen. I've even grown fond of our own Myrtle Beach.

Now based on these criteria, which hotel do you recommend I visit?

Million Dollar Marketing Report - September

2008-10-01T08:30:00.002-04:00

This is part of a series of posts on the Million Dollar eBook Marketing Plan. Here are the highlights of my "Funny Employee Awards" book promotion for the month of September:
Monday, 9/1 - Launch: Listed Funny Employee Awards eBook for sale with no fanfare or announcement. This soft launch gave me a few weeks to work out any errors or bugs in the eBook (it turns out there weren't any).
Wednesday, 9/3 - Affiliates: Officially announced the launch of affiliate program on Larry Weaver (LW) blog.
Tuesday, 9/9 - Television: Sent video submission for The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch.
Monday, 9/15 - Newsletter: Sent upgrade email to all previous Funny Employee Awards customers.
Friday, 9/19 - Guerilla: LW blog post offering free t-shirts for best ideas on promoting the new book. Cross-posted to Facebook and Twitter.
Wednesday, 9/24 - Blog: Launched Funny Awards blog with inaugural post. Cross-posted blog launch announcement on larryweaver.com.
Wednesday, 9/24 - Newsletter: Emailed Larry Weaver fan list announcing new book, affiliate program, and free t-shirt offer.
Thursday, 9/25 - Press Release: Sent first press release over PRNewswire as part of their targeted campaign to editors of Workplace and Careers features.

Miscellaneous Marketing Notes:

Added hi-res downloads to site: author photo, eBook cover, and site logo.
Hired NewspaperGirl to help write and edit press releases, based on a positive endorsement from a ShoeMoney blog post.
Reached out to Peter Shankman for possible advertising opportunities in HARO.
Designed direct mail postcard and sent to printer for October mailing.
Committed to increased social networking (both online and offline) for the remainder of the year.

Based on current conversion rates and average transaction amounts, I'll need approximately 3 million visitors to my website between now and the end of the year to reach $1,000,000 in sales. It's not unthinkable, but it will require something big to happen. Do your part - buy the book and spread the word...

Celebrate the Living

2008-09-15T22:25:00.003-04:00

“We celebrate the lives of the dead / It's like a man's best party only happens when he dies.” – Body in a Box, City and Colour
The reaper makes frequent visits to the critical care unit at Moses Cone Hospital. Yesterday, his presence cast a heavy shadow over Mom’s room. And even though he managed to break the spirit of the most optimistic of well-wishers, his intended passenger had no plans to leave just yet.
You can imagine my surprise when I walked in to see Mom sitting upright in a chair by the bed, laughing and telling jokes. “So you’re back from the dead again,” I asked. She just looked up and said, “You can’t get rid of a good mule.”

*****

Mom knew a thing or two about mules. She grew up as the daughter of a sharecropper in Person County, NC. Her sisters, Phyliss, Brenda, and Joan worked the tobacco fields alongside her brothers Robert, Paul, and Ricky. They didn’t own the land, or the tools, or the mules that pulled the plow. But they worked it all to survive.
Faming tobacco is excruciating work. There’s the planting, the hoeing, the worming, the plucking, the tying, the curing… And breathing that red dust all day as the hot Carolina sun beats you down. It was backbreaking work. I got a small taste working Uncle Neil’s fields as a kid. But that was just a weekend job for me. This was a year-round reality for Mom and her siblings.
Grandpa’s plan was a simple one: more kids meant more hands to work more acres. But more kids also meant more mouths to feed. And when they yearly harvest came in, and the landowner was paid for the land, and the tools, and the animals, there was little left over for the family. It was a losing proposition.
Mom saw marrying my Dad as a way out of the tobacco fields for good. Little did she know that her hardest labor was yet to come.
Mom’s brothers and sisters have been through some trials. But make no mistake – they embody the word “tough.” Ironically, the same hard work that would contribute to many of their health problems later on was the same hard work that gave them the resolve to make it through.

*****

So there’s Momma sitting in the chair, chatting away. “We’re going walking down the hall tomorrow. And when I get out of here, we’re all going down to see Robert in Texas.”
It seemed impossible just hours ago.
Heart attack? Stroke? Pneumonia? Spinal fusion? That was yesterday.
Today the sun came up over Moses Cone, and with it a reason to celebrate.

Amazon.com Widgets

Tribute to a Strong Mother

2008-09-14T21:57:00.008-04:00

"Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand." – Ephesians 6:13

I always loved that Bible verse. There’s so much meaning in those final two words. On Friday I saw it written on a sign outside the old church down the road: “And having done all, to stand.” I pondered its meaning anew…

My sister called early this morning, “You need to come on back to the hospital. Momma’s not doing too good.” That’s all that needed to be said. I had heard that message before on the day my Dad passed away.

And as I made the long drive back to the hospital I had left just hours earlier, I couldn’t help but wonder, “Is this it?”

*****

Mom has overcome tragedy many times. She’s suffered more heartache than anyone should have to bear. From the tragic death of her father –- a man I never had the privilege of meeting –- to the unimaginable loss of her daughter -- my sister and best friend -- to Rocky Mountain Spotted Tick Fever. Next her younger brother died in a horrific auto accident, then her Mom passed, and finally her husband, my Dad, lost a nearly fifteen year struggle with heart failure.

Through it all, my Mom soldiered on. Never wavering, never stumbling.

That was Mom’s way. She faced each tragedy, each day, with a workman-like attitude. By the time a crippling combination of Fibromyalgia and Osteoporosis forced her into an early retirement, she had accrued a full year’s worth of sick days. Momma didn’t take sick days. Least not for her, anyway.

She took care of my Dad through countless hospital visits. She took care of us all. And when Dad’s heart finally stopped beating, there was a bit of hope in the air. His long battle had carried a heavy burden. And despite the sadness, a weight had been lifted. I was excited for Mom – excited to see what she would do; excited to see what she would become.

Just a few weeks later I sat by her bedside as she awaited triple bypass surgery.

It was unexpected. She reluctantly went to the doctor about some tightness in her chest, and hours later she was transported to Duke Medical Center for life-changing surgery. As we talked through the night, she didn’t complain. She said she’d get through it, and she did.

Over the past five years, Mom has suffered through immeasurable pain. Heart attack... Fibromyalgia... Diabetes... Back surgery after back surgery...

Over those same five years, Mom has traveled the country and visited Mexico. She’s walked the beach. She’s hiked the mountains of Colorado. She fulfilled a dream that her and Dad shared of seeing the Grand Canyon. She’s soldiered on…

Her back pain recently got so bad that she could no longer walk without a walker. This hurt her pride, but she didn’t show it. The neurosurgeon recommended spinal fusion, along with removing some fragmented vertebrate and the insertion of pins into her spine.

This surgery was serious. The best case scenario was several days in the hospital and four weeks in a nursing facility. But Mom agreed. After all, there was more of the country she wanted to see.

The surgery went well. The aftermath didn’t.

*****

When I arrived at the hospital this morning, the prognosis wasn’t good. A heart attack… possibly two. A stroke. Pneumonia. The odds weren’t in her favor this time.

When everyone had left the room, I took her hand and leaned over. “Mom, are you going to make it,” I asked. “Oh I’m going to make it out of here,” she said, “but it ain’t going to be easy.”

I don’t know if Mom will live to see tomorrow. But I do know that when the doctor pulls the curtain for the last time, and when that final breath of air comes passing through her lips, she’s not going to leave this world lying down.

She taught me today what the sign on the church means.

“And having done all, to stand.”

Continued: Celebrate the Living

Last Comic Standing Scandal

2008-07-31T22:00:00.003-04:00

Last Comic Standing is the fakest reality show on television. That truth also makes it the most real. - Larry Weaver, The Tao of Show Business

Last Comic Standing is the Fakest Show on Television

NBC's Last Comic Standing claims on its own website to be a "search for the funniest comedian on the planet". It's not. The auditions are staged, the celebrity judges aren't judges, the footage is doctored to make a favored bad act look good, and talented working comedians are passed over for "characters" with no act and a big personality. Here are a few horror stories in case you're thinking of auditioning for future seasons...

If you're going to audition "cold" (uninvited, without agency representation), be prepared for a lot of waiting.

I stood in line in sub-freezing temperatures for up to nine hours Thursday in Toronto to audition... we got a chance to be funny six-at-a-time for a production assistant, who would point to each of us and say "give me your best minute" or "tell me a one-liner"... if you were chosen you would receive the phone call to come back to audition for two minutes for the celebrity talent scouts. - Jim Tice, Toronto Last Comic Standing Auditions

Just to be clear, you don't automatically get to "audition" in front of the celebrity judges. You can fly across the country, stand in line for hours, only to be turned away in seconds by a young production assistant:

The PA ushered us into the annex in teams of eight -- 24 comedians per room. It was like performing at a bus stop. "All right, Jason, give me your best 30 seconds. Go!"... "Thank you. Next." And that was that. Don't call us; we'll call you. Fourteen hours in the gutter. - Jason Love, Last Comic Sleeping, Overnight in San Francisco

Comedians at the Season 5 auditions in San Antonio never got to audition at all:

I drove two hundred miles, in the rain, half asleep mind you, to find out they only gave 125 numbers out this time. That's not the clincher. They gave them out [the night before] about 6:30 pm. - David Reyes, San Antonio Last Comic Standing Audtions

Some conspiracy theorists wonder if the only reason for auditions is to get a shot of the people waiting in line:

I feel bad for some comic friends who had even worse experiences that I did... Do they really make people wait all night long in the fog just so they can have a morning shot of them around the club? - DNA, San Francisco LCS Audtions

Even if you are invited to audition, you still could get jerked around. Veteran comedian Taylor Mason was personally invited to audition for Season 6 by the show's producers, ushered to the front of the line, breezed through the auditions to Vegas, and then - after cancelling dates to clear his schedule - was told not to come to Vegas:

We auditioned for the first two on-site producers, a couple of women who were looking for specific things: NO wife jokes; NO marriage jokes; NO jokes about raising kids... We all found out very quickly that [the celebrity judges] were only there for show. Their opinions and their comments were cut off – an assistant producer went up to them at one point and said, “Uh…don’t say anything to the comics…we’ll decide who moves on and who doesn’t…just make a comment about their performance and we move on.” - Taylor Mason, Last Comic Complaining

Comedian Chris Voth also made it through to Vegas, only to get bumped:

Over the next several weeks, I had numerous conversations via email with producers from the show as details were being dispersed about the semi-finals in Las Vegas. We had to sign a lot of waivers and confidentiality agreements and confirm that we could block off a couple weeks in case we made it into the house... Less than a week before the semi's, I got a call from a producer saying a decision was made and I was now being uninvited to the next round... they originally picked 46 comics, but only 30 were moving on. - Chris Voth, Houston LCS Auditions

Making it on the show may not be the break you were hoping for. The producers and editors have to power to paint you in a bad light. My long-time friend and comedy club headliner Heath Hyche was ripped to shreds by celebrity judge Steve Schirripa in the Season 6 Vegas round. Did Steve saying he'd rather kill himself than watching more of Heath's act help Heath? I don't think so.

Last Comic Standing is the Realest Show on Television

Should you audition for Last Comic Standing? I don't recommend it unless you have agency representation who can move you to the front of the line. Even then you should be prepared with a good "story" and "character" to compliment your act.

Show business is not a pure competition like sport. Talent does not always rise to the top. Hard work and dedication do not always pay off. Like so many things in life, success in show business depends a lot on who you know. That, truly, is reality.

In that regard, Last Comic Standing is the most real reality show on television.

I'm good friends with two of the winners of Last Comic Standing. I'm also good friends with top-notch comedians who been rejected at LCS auditions for six straight years. You can have a killer act and never "make it" in Hollywood because of your look, or your accent, or who you don't know.

Should You Audition for Last Comic Standing?

If you're dying to be on Last Comic Standing, I do have some advice. Look back over at all of the comedy clubs where they've held auditions. Target one or more clubs as a place to "get in" and become a regular. Try to get to know the club owners; they can help you. Search Facebook, LinkedIn, MySpace, etc for anyone who has worked as a PA (Production Assistant) on Last Comic Standing. Try to friend them and learn everything you can. Search Google for "Last Comic Standing Auditions". Read blog posts and articles from people who have auditioned and contact them directly to get their advice. Reach out to comedians who have appeared on the show. Email them one specific question. Or better yet, go to a live performance and try to meet them personally. Arm yourself with as much information as possible. Try to get to know the right people.

Or just wing it. Either way, your odds are probably about the same.

Comedy News, Search Engine Marketing, and MMA - Larry Weaver's Blog

How Do I Become a Motivational Speaker

Stelling Guitar - Rare Acoustic Guitars by Huss & Dalton

E-junkie Reviews Larry Weaver, Creator of Funny Awards

How to Make $20 Million a Year as a Comedian

Fireworks Jokes - Redneck July 4th

Fun Awards for Teachers

Meet the Fighters of the UFC

Free Funny Employee Awards

Selective Hearing Impairment Award

Baryshnikov Award

Running with the Bulls Award

Raisin Pay Award

Kool and the Gang Award

Bermuda Triangle Award

How and When to Contact an Agent

Make sure you have an act

Get your materials together

Research the agency

Ask about their submission policy

BONUS ADVICE: Tips for Submitting to Christian Comedy Acts

Getting Started

Free Teacher Appreciation Week Ideas

Hire Actors in North Carolina

Grove Park Inn Review - Asheville NC

John Boy and Billy - The Big Show

Funny Employee Awards - 101 Funny Employee Award Certificates eBook

The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch - Million Dollar Pitch

Million Dollar Marketing Report - October

Comedy on the Radio

How to Attract Top Affiliates

Chris Jericho Book Review - A Lion's Tale

Loews Santa Monica - My Favorite Hotel in the World

Million Dollar Marketing Report - September

Miscellaneous Marketing Notes:

Celebrate the Living

Tribute to a Strong Mother

Last Comic Standing Scandal

Last Comic Standing is the Fakest Show on Television

Last Comic Standing is the Realest Show on Television

Should You Audition for Last Comic Standing?