Have you ever met anything who felt they’ve achieved the perfect life-work balance?
One of the most pernicious things about stress is the way we don’t notice how it switches our attention away from what we value and love in life until it’s too late.

That old saw is true – if you don’t look after yourself, you can’t look after anyone else. And all it takes is just ten minutes a day. And ten minutes of selfishness everyday is enough to make a profound difference in your ability to achieve a life balance that works.

Idea: designate Saturday ‘family’ day and Sunday afternoon “selfish” time. We can usually find an hour or so on Sunday afternoon to spend on ourselves – just don’t let it get filled with chores or your partner’s agenda.

I don’t like to fall into routine of repeating things, exactly the same, every week. Therefore I won’t go with designating Saturday for whatever, and Sunday for what else. But, today I had my 10 selfish minutes on my way back home. I got myself some fresh mango ice cream, while enjoying a walk alone. The weather is perfect.. and my mood is very fine these days. I think I am a bit happy for no specific reason, or may be for a reason.. I don’t know. I am not sure. (But you deserve to know I am happy, just like how I make sure you know when I am down! :-) )

Not sure how to spend my selfishness minutes tomorrow though. But I’ll make sure to do anything I feel like doing.. this should be fun.

So tell me, if you have 10 selfish minutes totally yours.. what will you do to make yourself feel happy?

Next tip:
18/52 The perfection trap

Sometimes we all hope for miracles to get us through tough times. Ever considered conjuring your own? Discover a question that’ll turn colossal problems into solutions of miraculous proportions.

Idea: Be a time traveler for five minutes. Cast your mind back to the last thing you did really well. Perhaps it’s bringing up four children on your own, rescuing your elderly neighbor from that ferocious toy poodle or leaving your cheating boyfriend on the other side of the world before sneaking off and flying home with his return ticket and passport. Remind yourself how you did it. Where did you find your inspiration, muscle or audacity?

Mmm.. I can’t remember any specific incident, but I do surprise myself all the time. I just need a trigger, and tada.. a complete different person in front of me. Just show me something that deserves and I am passionate about :)
So, what about you?

Next tip:
17/52 Achieve the life-work balance in ten minutes

It’s really hard to feel energized when five days out of seven are dedicated to an activity that bores you stupid – or even worse, saps your self-esteem. Yup, we are talking about work.

Idea: phone a friend – or three. You almost certainly know people who have transferred skills and started working on another career. Pick their brains on how they financed it, got their family onside, garnered the qualifications, and coped with problems. Those who have pursued their happiness are going to have more practical advice, on coping with the good and bad, as well as more enthusiasm, than those who haven’t taken a similar step.

I used to work with Kolena Laila and Global Voices teams before beside work and it was interesting and enriching experience. I used to study beside work too. Now all I do mostly nothing except my day job, and attending my Quran lessons. I feel something inside me is missing. I need to start something new and work on. I need to return back to studying, and engaging in fruitful activities.. and know new people..

So, I’ll start inshallaa starting this week. Need good time management plan, and will fit in “learning something new” as a start. I’m not really keen on the work beside work at the current moment.

Next tip:
16/52 Nothing short of a miracle

For many people, less daylight equals less happiness. Everyone seems happier in summer, and many of us feel gloomier when it gets greyer. But some people get depressed every winter. A diagnosis of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) can only be made after three or more consecutive winters of symptoms. If you feel depressed in winter, so-so in autumn and full of the joys of spring, then you’re officially SAD.

Idea: plan a “summer” holiday in winter. A couple of weeks of long daylight hours to tide you over until spring may be just what the doctor ordered. Why just dream of a white sandy beach Christmas?

That’s an interesting tip because it is totally opposite to my experience. Actually I’m more SAD in summer than winter. I hate summer, and it negatively affects my mood. I think I’m not up to its pace. As if everything moves faster than me in summer. Winter is calm and quite. Rain is so serine and refreshing..
I miss standing beneath falling snow..
On another note, how can I miss a feeling I never experienced yet?!

Next tip:
15/52 Finding work to make your heart sing

Is commuting getting you down? Do workplace politics leave you cold? Consider working from home and leave the stress behind you?

Idea: Put out feelers and start developing a support network. Whatever type of work you do, there’s sure to be an online community set up to support it, for instance. I belong to several writing communities, and have made good friends who are able to provide sound advice as well as companionship. It is also worth looking for local face-to-face groups in your nearest town. Your local government offices or library may well hold details of these community-based groups.

After quite a long vacation, I’m back to my Happiness Project, and will try to catch up with what I missed the past week..

So again this tip is not for me.. Learning the hard way out, I found that I am not “working from home” kind of girl. I’m not even working alone type. I love to be among people. Work for me is not just a way to make a living, but means more. It should be having fun with friends. This way I will always enjoy whatever I’m doing, no matter what are the complexities or daily absurdities I face.

As for communities, that’s quite right. So let me add ba2a that today I met @Yniz, @gr33ndata and @Ummah__ , in our first kick off meeting to start our own community. I am quite excited about it.. for who knows! :)

Next tip:
14/52 Feeling SAD?

I have a heavy heart tonight.. for everything and anything, inside and outside..
And though it seems like everybody is crying for something different tonight; myself, I just want to vanish.

So dear void, I feel you must be listening.. aren’t you?..
Good night.
Tomorrow, this too shall pass away.. or so they say.

We all claim we know that marriage won’t always be easy. But are we ever really prepared for some of the storms that we’ll encounter on the sea of love? Probably not.

Idea: If you’ve found out that your spouse wants a divorce and you’re in shock, it’s time for some damage limitation. You must limit the distress before it causes you any irreparable damage. First off, allow yourself to cry and shout out the worst feelings of pain and betrayal; don’t try to keep them inside. Then call someone, a friend or family member, to come and sit with you. Arrange time off work to cope with your shock privately and to organize any practicalities. Let your work know it’s a personal crisis and if you have children, inform their school. Most importantly, take some time to come to terms with the news before you jump to any hasty decisions. Think things through carefully and talk any plans through with someone you trust.

As obvious, today’s tip, in my Happiness Project, is not for me. But I’ll keep it in mind anyway. Who knows what the future bring?

Tomorrow’s tip:
13/52 Happy Homebody

Peace is a state of mind, but it can also be a corner of a secluded garden, a cubby hole under the stairs, a bed that you share with no one else.. or a garden shed. Imagine a place with no phone, no noise, no hassle, no problems.

Why bother? Because I think that in some very profound way having a corner where you can let your imagination run free and where you have control is deeply important to the human spirit. As a child did you have a secret place where you would hide away? Did you build ‘shrines’? No? think of the times you set up your favorite toys next to your bed, your dolls aligned looking just right on a shelf, ‘special’ power stones hidden in a secret place only you knew about.

Idea: Write down what taste, scent, sensation, sound and sight immediately relaxes you and gather them in one place so they are always at hand. Velvet slippers, satin quilts, birdsong, pink, light, roses. What sensual cues calm you down instantly?

I love the smell of Musk (مسك), the soft one, to the extend that I can use my perfume all life long without feeling ever bored. I also love the smell of Agarwood (عود) and Ambergris (عنبر).. Few years ago I bought a bunch of scented wax cubes for the three: Musk, Agarwood and Ambergris; I scattered these everywhere, in my library, my drawers, my bags.. they have such unbelievable refreshing smell.. my everyday Electrolyte.

Also flowers. I love Tulips and roses. Daises are nice too, cheerful and cozy flowers. I think will call it my “Memories Corner”. Black and white family pictures in old frames hanging on walls, and underneath I’ll put a gramophone!

My room’s walls will all be covered by an extended library, from the floor up to the ceiling. The room will also have a wide window with white curtains, and overlooking a garden. I prefer lamp light to normal room lights. More intimate and soothing.

The room has to be equipped to keep music flowing in the background naturally almost all day long. I will put a desk, beside the window, to write and use my computer. I love desks, elegant ones, and I love big sofas.. Light colors are my favorite, a combination of light blue, light crème color, and light violet will do..

I’ll go for an oriental corner too. Somewhere, in the same room, I’ll arrange Arabian carpet, Arabesque, and Arabian floor sofas; along with my three scents, I will call this my heaven. But who knows if I ever can have such a room.
Dreaming still feels nice though. For who really knows? :)

Tomorrow’s tip:
12/52 Boiling Point on the Sea of Love

If you’re feeling weighed down by tasks like moving house or job hunting, you’ll find that good time management is an irresistible way to transform your mood and your life.
Using to-do lists decreases stress, develops great organizational skills and improves your memory.

Idea: Spend a week getting your home spick and span and you’ll save weeks of time and energy over the coming year.

Actually, I am to-do lists queen! But I am not sure if it works anymore. They increase exponentially without realizing when or how. And though all electronic solutions failed me miserably, I still love listing my to-do, following and managing things.. God bless pen and paper, my best friends!

Tomorrow’s tip:
11/52 A Zone of Your Own

A positive mental attitude can transform a glass from being half empty to being half full and then actually help to fill the glass.

Your attitude towards the things you have to do makes the difference between getting the most out of them and seeing them as chores that are impossible to enjoy.

Idea: Choose a task that you’re not looking forward to. Firstly, remember that whether or not you do the task is your choice. Now imagine having completed the task and how much you enjoyed doing it. Feel the pleasure of having completed it. Next set aside a time to do the task.
Remember that you choose your thoughts, so it’s down to you whether you feel depressed or energized about the task. If you feel depressed, the task will become more of a chore and the quality of the thinking you put into it will be reduced.

It’s true. But I don’t know how to make it.
I mean, when I am worried. I am worried. When I freak out. I freak out. Today for instance I freaked out from a trip I wanted so much to go to.. I feel so ashamed of myself. But I just can’t.. Like the rest of other things that scares the hell out of me, and I don’t know how to get away or face my worries.

I talked with Omayma today about our common fears. We both relate in different ways… But, I am phobic.. and I don’t know how to change my attitude with things, people and surroundings..
I am getting on my nerves begad w fe3lan..

Today’s self esteem = Zero
Happiness = Zero Point Five
Craving for something I don’t know = + Infinity.

Tomorrow’s tip:
10/52 The Time of Your Life