Miss Late July

Vote for your favourite Late July video and win!

2012-02-21T14:55:00.000-05:00

With the new record already rolling and the fundraising campaign on full blast, I've been thinking about doing a new music video.

I've done a couple in the past, and I'm creating to come up with some intriguing, slightly creepy but totally arty, interesting ideas, but I need your help. I filmed my first music video EVER in an apple orchard in King City, Ontario. The second? In my parents basement. The third was filmed in the beautiful Toronto beaches. The fourth was filmed in a rented bedroom I was living in and the most recent one.. you guessed it! No you didn't The hallway in my parents house.

What's your favourite video I've made? Vote below! Leave me a message as to why AND/OR pitch a concept for a video.. you just might win a prize.. okay really. You will win a prize if chosen. So do it.

What say you?!

Doing what I do.

2012-02-12T00:55:00.000-05:00

It's been an odd winter in Ontario there year, at least in the parts I've been around.

I've taken a step back from things, and a step forward into other things.

I've all but euthanized my social life. Staying in reinventing my diet, learning how to cook new food, bake and be reasonably domesticated. Trying to spend more time with dear Charlie, making sure he's healthy, happy and safe from any neighborhood coyotes. Instead of going out on weekends I try to do something creative; creation is the heart of humanity after all...

I started volunteering with Loyal Rescue Inc. again, helping to screen adoptive homes for homeless dogs.

I learned how to use a curling iron; sort of. That's a work in progress.

But I've really shifted most of my focus to music. I feel like that got very out of focus for very many reasons I couldn't possibly go into. But I'm back doing what I doing, and doing it because... it's what I do.

I love to write and song write there's no way around it. I'm a writer, not a conventional one. It turns out I'm a singer to. I'm not conventional in that way either.

The new record is happening, and it's happening to me! Exciting times, but still only 50% of the way there to fund it. My fingers are crossed that in the next 30 days some miracle will happen. I have started getting together the perks to send out - t-shirts, photos, buttons, cake. It's all happening.

On Christmas day I saw a green Ukulele sitting in my closet. I had received it as a Christmas gift a couple years ago but never really did anything with it. I taught myself how to play and I was a quick study even though the tuning and chords are very different from a standard guitar. It's been fun. I hope to learn more likeminded instruments in the near future, including the banjo and maybe even mandolin. In the mean time I decided that I'd do a series of "sadcore" cover songs.

For those wondering what this sadcore entails, I believe it was best and inadvertently described by Tom Waits:

"I like beautiful melodies telling me horrible things"

Uncle Tom is always right. So I've been picking the saddest of sad songs I know and doing 'mini covers' on the ukulele. Covering The National and Dr Dog was fun. Tonight when I was thinking of songs to cover I thought of the classic "I Will Always Love You" and alas by the time I was finished covering the song I got news that Whitney Houston passed away. Go figure.

It's definitely funny having to film yourself. No matter what I do, I just seem so.. 'into it' when I perform. Perhaps it's because I am :)

Here is one of the tracks for you. To check out more subscribe to my Youtube channel. I've been posting up a storm!

What to do when the black SUV in front of you crashes.

2012-02-06T00:37:00.000-05:00

One spring day I was standing in the middle of a busy road during rush hour kicking bumpers to the curb. Looking back it all seemed like some giant metaphor.

Driving along a road I had driven on, or been driven on, for dozens of years, I blinked. And in that moment the black SUV in front of me became airborne. It flipped, and rolled and landed on it's roof. Yes it happened in slow motion. Yes it was just like the movies. Barely 15ft in front of me chaos had come out of no where.

I stopped.
The other cars stopped.
Paused.
Then most drove away.

In the long seconds it took me to compute what had happened, I realized that there was a person in that car. It in fact wasn't like the movies, there wasn't a stunt driver and oh my God, someone call 911.

It was an odd feeling to stop in the middle of such a busy road, and run towards a car not knowing if the person was dead or alive.

Other people got out of their cars, in so much shock they were blocking traffic. 911 was called. Some people just stood, their arms crossed, one hand covering their mouth.

I peered in the window. It was a lady, mid 50's. She had a Jackie O hair cut, long manicured nails, was wearing pearls and sunglasses. She was very calm, despite dangling upside down in her vehicle her body crunched against the former ceiling.

People began trying to pry her out and I begged for them to stop not knowing what injuries she had which could be made worse. They agreed and waited for the police and ambulance to arrive.

Being rush hour, lines of traffic had begun to build up. The people who had been standing gasping and gawking at the wreck, failed to realize their cars were blocking traffic. There was debris from the car all over the road, scattering into both lanes.

Feeling of no use to the lady in the car, I began to kick the broken metal and bumpers to the curb. I started directing traffic around the vehicle, and another man joined in, having to ignore the fact that there was a lady injured in the spectacle.

Finally when things began to move, I began to ask whose car was whose, then asked that person to move their car elsewhere or leave. Finally I left, as there were a group of more 'senior' people waiting with the lady, and when I heard sirens I knew I was OK to go.

It was a weird feeling to stand in the road I had only ever driven on, never walked on, kicking debris, while dozens of people in cars watched. I mean sometimes in life you're the lady in the car and all you can do is wait for help to get there. Other times, you're the girl directing traffic. I think the goal is to not be one of the people that gets in the way. If you're a victim, you're a victim. The trick is not to spend your life with your arms crossed and your hand over you mouth.

Things in life can change so quickly, so effortlessly, it makes you wonder how anything stays put at all.

2012-02-01T23:32:00.000-05:00

I've been keeping a low profile lately, catching up on sleep, rest and letting my brain breathe a bit.

Here's a little bit of a video update:

Here's a sample of a new track off my forthcoming record. There's now a 45% chance it'll get made thanks to some generous donations, but still a ways to go. Be apart of it, I think it's going to be a special record.

Giveaway: Button Up and Bust A Move

2012-01-26T15:17:00.000-05:00

I am giving away some stickers and buttons! All you have to do to enter is:

1) Be awesome. Perhaps bust a move
2a) Leave a comment on this place naming one thing that is tall and red.
2b) Tweet at me @misslatejuly and name on thing that is tall and red.

3) Continue to be awesome. Bust a move, perhaps grapvine?

There are no wrong or right answers - feel free to get creative! Make sure you leave contact info so I can get a hold of you if you win. Winners will be picked next week.

Don't forget we are getting down to the wire with the fundraising! $10 goes a long way and will get you cool stuff!

Trying to put your heart back together.

2012-01-23T00:01:00.000-05:00

I was talking to my friend L. and I'm at that age where people of my 'generation' are striking a point where their lives are really taking shape. Hitting stride with their career, reaching good health, buying their first place, finding real love, getting married, having kids...

None of that is happening to me. I've always been a late bloomer, and generally a late person (a la Late July) and I've never let it bother me. But as I stride through my 20's, I gotta say, some of that would be nice. I wish I had descent answers for why I'm on such a different path. But I don't. Some people partied away their teens and twenties, others caught under some cloud of disillusionment. I can't say either of those apply to me. I know 'everything happens for a reason' but for Pete's sake, everything can't have a reason can it? Maybe I'll be proven wrong and all the confusing things that happen to me, will somehow make sense. I can't be sure.

There are times in my head I go over and over again who I am, what I'm about, what I've done and what I intend to do. I make this list and it frustrates me why none of who I am adds up to anything I want. It makes you feel, kind of broken?

While I'm certain I'm not the only one to go through this, it's got a girl feeling empty these days. So I turn to the theory that there's more to be done and someone, somewhere, God, universe, the mighty HuHu, they've just got higher expectations for me. Tonight I'm not okay with that; tonight that makes me angry and want to sue the universe. But maybe like Jobs, I just need to put a ding in the universe.

Once I've got the wrinkles out of my apron, I need to make some changes. I need to start by putting some good back into the universe, even if I think I'm some awful, broken, misguided person sometimes. Maybe somewhere, somehow I can help - make things better. Having purpose in times when there doesn't seem much purpose, is well... important.

After watching this little video tonight, I think it just goes to show that people who have purpose do more, no matter what.

Sometimes we just have to put the pieces back together and realize nothing was ever broken in the first place, just rearranged.

Shake it up.

Ever had one of those conversations...

2012-01-22T00:18:00.002-05:00

Have you ever had an unexpected conversation with someone where you felt, almost physically lighter after? I have.

After a routine visit to the vet for Charlie's shots and AHE (Annual health exam) I ran into a vet that I've only met a couple times. He remember me and the work I've done in the community with dogs, and also my music.

What was supposed to be a 5 minute exam + shots, turned into an hour conversation about society, medicine, animal welfare, human cognitive behaviour and how we know what we know. The topics of loss, recovery, ethics, and starting over came up a lot.

Sometimes the only person who can make you feel better about situations in your life is.. not your vet, but yourself. I think it's a matter of someone knowing your situation and telling you what you already know back, with maybe some observations you haven't yet denoted yourself. Hearing yourself back is important but can be difficult. Other times, it just makes things sound right.

I definitely feel silly doing what I do. Blogging, music, videos - it all feels really silly sometimes. I write some of my inner most feelings, turn them into music and play them for thousands off people via record. I go up on stage in front of people I don't know, and do the same. I blog everyday about personal experiences and feelings. I post pictures of myself, not all flattering, videos where I look like a total idiot... my continual need to make myself vulnerable for artistic and creative merit astounds me sometimes. Because I don't really think of it when I'm doing it.

Long past, are the days where I thought "Oh my goodness, who is going to see this? what will they think?" or "Everyone is going to think I'm an idiot, self absorbed loser"; and so forth and so on. I kind of don't think anymore about these things. I just do. And while I'm sure there are people out there who think I'm nutty, narcissistic, pandering, artist... I think I can say there are others out there who think the opposite; or at least somewhere in the middle of that.

We're all chasing shadows. Shadows of how we want to feel, how we want to be seen, and who we want to be. And sure, there are times when you catch your breath and go: "why am I chasing this again?" I had that moment in the bathroom before a show, after a long couple of ~~days~~ weeks. But then you realize that whatever it is, you must really love it. And I do. It's just not always as easy as we hoped, putting one foot in front of the other and standing where you need to stand.

I don't always feel the way people see me and I'm sure I don't always see myself the way that people feel me. But, I have to keep going, right? Anything in this world worth fighting for... is and must continue to be, a good fight.

And while I am raising money for what is promising to be my best record yet - it's kind of an evaluation. Do people care enough to support and donate? Do they believe in me enough to say that I'm worth the time and money. It's a next step in the process and I remind myself it doesn't necessarily reflect how people value you, money is just one value system in our society. But hey. It can't hurt. So I put myself out there. Day after day, hoping for, what everyone hopes for: the universe to listen.

These are the kinds of things we should worry about.

2012-01-21T01:27:00.000-05:00

Making the decision not to write is almost always the wrong decision.

Decisions in life are sometimes made for you.

The best thing is sometimes not always the right thing to do. And as a light dusting of snow seems to settle over things, I remind myself that there is spring. I think of feelings, not things, but feelings that make me happy. Like the feeling you get when the weather turns warm - it's not where you are it's how you feel.

I learned long ago that people don't remember what you did, but how you made them feel. In order to be good at that you have to be able to recognize the effects of your actions.

When action does not match intention, chaos ensues. I keep reminding myself that. Do my actions match my intentions? Did I know what my intentions were in the first place?

I keep going.

The things you stick with, you love. The things that stuck with you, they love. And so forth and so on. I've given up on my rules and regulations. I remember when I knew everything. I realize now that time doesn't exist.

When what's set before you is a snow covered path, you realize it's more fun to make prints then to let it melt and fade. The prints won't last, but impermanence is life's greatest joke.

So have a laugh.

Darling, can you tie my string?

2012-01-20T00:44:00.000-05:00

Smile.

Cause that's what it's all about. Like the hokey pokey or something.

The winter rolls on in it's usual, unstable Canadian meteorological way. Traipsing footprints through the snow, realizing the wind can make a pretty storm into an ugly one.

But I've got plans.

They haven't quite come together, and I'm being gentle with that. If you force something too much, things get tired quickly but if you pace it out, you just might get what you asked for, and that's a good thing right?

My sense of optimism is a little faded but relatively in tact. It's anyone's game, and peoples luck change, for better or worse, everyday. I understand this and respect the law of 'anything'. We can't always be the people we'd hoped we be. But you have to question for a moment if you even really knew the person you wanted to be in the first place.

We just evolve, constantly, those things about us vaguely staying the same as we get older. We're human. We adapt. We're flexible on a lot of things, if not most. We make pardons. We seek forgiveness. We start over.

Human, Human, Human.

I can't make things in my life right all the time. If I can't make it right then it wasn't going to work in the first place. Or something like that. I respect my efforts and I respect the results. Kind of. Sort of. It takes some time to accept things the way they are. The way it is.

People can come into your life, change it, then disappear. People can come into your life, not change it, and stick around for ever. And if you're lucky, well all of the above will happen and some will change you, but realize that you will change some as well - likely the ones who seem like sitting ducks in a well. You change people, you affect them - if you don't believe me, then you're likely questioning if you ever existed. And trust me, you do... did.. whatever.

Life is moving at a rapid pace, can you feel it? Are you happy? Are you passing through time the way you'd hoped? Can you change it, would you want to... it's late and I'm asking questions that the sanest of people would never have the answer to.

When you see me on the street does your heart skip a beat?

2012-01-18T22:41:00.000-05:00

Last night I did a fun acoustic show at The Drake Hotel in Toronto. Yes, yes I did. And I had a lot of wonderful people show to support and hear some of my new tunes.

It's always cool to come home, check your twitter feed and see the videos and pictures people posted. So I thought I'd show you what people posted, from their different perspectives. And not to mention the little snippet of a new track that Martin took via video.

It was a really fun show, I say really weird stuff when I'm on stage.. and not on stage - so I guess that's not a surprise? I did a cover of this track, that was super fun. Not to mention the amazing Dan Dwoskin who opened and Kyle Duffin that closed the night. The great guitarist accompanying me was the one and only @bretgs

Fun times by all! Thanks for the photos friends!

And don't forget, I'm only 25% of the way to making this new record, so please donate and repost!

By @ccath

By @ashleyDTL

Shoes

2012-01-16T23:42:00.000-05:00

Hwy. 23 - just south of Beaverton, Ontario. The shoe with the 100's of pairs of sneakers. You can't miss it.

I still wish I could breathe underwater.

2012-01-15T23:59:00.003-05:00

Someone asked me a question I get asked a lot. So tonight I gave them a very honest answer. It felt weird, no round about way of saying one thing or another - just being straight up.

I can think back to many situations in the past year where I wish I had just straight up asked what I wanted to know from the beginning and then I wonder if things would have gone better. Not that things in my life are terrible, but we tend to waste a lot of time wondering, going through situations trying to find an answer that we just could have easily been told at the get go.

My newest of personal rules involves what I talk about. If I need to talk to a friend or multiple friends about a specific situation involving a person, friendship, relationship or otherwise - then I probably should be talking to the person that the situation involves, and not other people who have nothing to do with the situation. Makes sense? For if you let those situations go on too long, at some point you're left with the decision of never really knowing.

All of the above would have saved me so much time, in so many situations. Maybe we just baby our egos, but perhaps we just need to rip off the band aid and see what's what.

Ouchie.

I still wish I could breathe underwater.

Me too ned.

Cue this scene:

The way I feel inside

2012-01-14T23:59:00.001-05:00

Have you ever wanted something long enough that at some point in the middle of it all you forget why you wanted it in the first place?

We are all different at different times in our lives. We change. Sometimes we see it happen, or sometimes we just wake up and we're different. We didn't see it happen. It's hard to tell the times what exactly that change is. Sometimes change is permanent, sometimes it's temporary. You won't know until you go through it all. That's the tricky part.

One of my favorite sayings is When you're walking in the right direction, all you have to do is keep walking. How will you know if the sun is just getting in your eyes OR that you're dying of severe dehydration? You don't. You kind of just have to go with it. I think the next time I start into something, work, art, play, relationship, whatever - at the beginning when I'm all gung-ho I'm going to make a list of why I'm doing what I'm doing. I highly advise this. For that point when you're in the middle of the road and the sun is in your eyes and you think you're going in the right direction but you're so tired you just aren't sure. Refer back to that list.

And, in the off chance you were never motivated to make that list in the first place - chances are you need to make a u-ey.

Not having any fun.

2012-01-12T23:59:00.003-05:00

Recently a couple of my guy friends have been trying their best to cheer me, bring a bit of sunshine in my life. Like this guy above. His idea of a good time is running around crazy after a bath, nuzzling me and licking my nose and then always bringing me a bone. I'm not to do anything but look at it appreciate it and in his words "GIVE IT BACK NOW. BYE". Then I don't see him again for the rest of the night.

Fine.

It's funny that I don't remember having a good time out at all this fall. Every time I try to go out and have fun it ends in some unnecessary way. Like the Nuit Blanche disaster, or the New Years that never was. I mean granted I don't drink, I know I could still go out and have fun. I KNOW I can. I guess I never go out with the right people.

The last two years I have made some attempts to go out dancing. I love to dance,, er, in my living room but even on my birthday plans got busted when I couldn't go out to dance post dinner due to some other peoples alternate arrangements. But I kept trying and while I got to do a little dancing, once at Cherry Cola's and once again this fall at The Supermarket, I would say I didn't have an awesome time and I'm not sure why.

Maybe I'm just not one of those people who are meant to go out and have fun. Maybe it's because I don't drink. Maybe it's because people around me are not comfortable because I don't drink. I'm sick of not having any fun. One of my friends calls me 'anti-fun'. Which sucks. I stay in, I write songs, I work on my music, make a record, try to fight the good fight. But I can have fun. I SWEAR IT. I don't even knit. C'mon.

I think I need a 'fun' leader, someone who can take me out and show me a good time - could this be the year where I can proudly tweet AND/OR facebook status "had an amazing night!!!" and then post a small but cheerful set of 'we had so much fun tonight' photos. Will that happen? WILL THAT BE ME? It's never been me. But I'm going to keep trying darn it. It didn't happen last year. I never got to go out anywhere looking back but it wasn't always my fault.

But some time. This year. It will happen. You wait for that social media status of what an amazing night I had, and how awesome brunch the next day will be. It will happen folks. It. Will. Happen. Or better yet it'll be SO amazing that I'll be too happy and tired to even pick up my phone. How do you like THEM apples?

I think I just need a cheer up partner or two. Someone with a plan to stick it to the party pooper man.

Otherwise, I'll just have to learn to run around like a crazy person, nuzzle myself and pick up dog bone.

Such is life.

I think there are people that unknowingly hear this song when they think of me. I just KNOW it.

Look the other way to get what you want.

2012-01-12T00:04:00.000-05:00

A friend wrote to me today that people have a 'consumer attitude towards relationships now' and we discussed whether that's a healthy attitude or not. What does that mean? It means there's always a better deal, a better bargain to be made. I think he and both know this attitude isn't the way to go. People are invaluable - sure we have our similarities - but we really are those unique snowflakes our teachers told us we were... right? Right.

Emotional consumerism.

I assume when I place 'emotional' in front of generic words it'll make me sound like I know what I'm talking about. Do not be fooled! But there is something to say about emotional consumerism. I have met people that have more people available to them then they know what to do with. You know what happens to those people? Nothing good. I can tell you, it isn't happiness. Not from what they tell me. They lose a sense of value and do your best to stay out of their way.

Whatever happened to good old appreciate people for who they are? Do you shop around? Can you do better? Do you outsource your emotions... I have no idea where I'm going with this. I just think it's funny with the internet and more options that people shop around until they find themselves.. alone.

No room for doubt.

2012-01-10T23:52:00.001-05:00

I think we all get to a point in our lives, (some sooner than others) where we want don't want to be entertained anymore. For all the dances, shows and displays of... whatever it was they're trying to display, at some point we say "enough. give me something real".

Just because you say it doesn't make it happen. Just because you think it doesn't make it so. Real things are often not ideal, but I've been in situations where it supersedes the ideal. That can't be bad right?

I've had friendships that only lasted for as long as they were entertaining. I've had vague instances of relationships that last for the same reasons too. Until it's not fun we say. But were we ever really having fun?

I talked to a friend recently who is madly in love with their boyfriend and has been for a number of years. They found themselves missing the drama, the unpredictability of dating and then quickly realized - wait - no they don't. It's easy to be lured into the idea that when you're happy you are missing out on something. Let me tell you, what they already knew - they're not.

I do think there are people in this life that don't realize that they were happy until whatever it was has that made them happy has up and left. The whole thing is to find someone who makes you happy and make them stay. I've heard that line a lot from different sources in the past little while. Making people stay is one thing, wanting people to stay, a total other thing. Sit, stay, stay stay.. you just got hit by a car.

Life is hard work, the highs and lows can be.. unimaginable. How they all exist in one world is beyond comprehension. It's time like these where I'd pay a good 'psychic' to tell me about the upswing. We're all looking for it and I know many people who've found it. I think people get worn down. That feeling that you're never getting back as much as you're putting in and it eats at your reserves. Emotional overexertion. Or some psychological froufrou like that.

I don't know.

People have feelings, I have a blog, blah blah blah.

Raspberry jam.

Play through.

I got a lotta losing. Friends and heroes are packing up and moving.

2012-01-09T23:33:00.001-05:00

Intentions and actions. They don't always match up.

I look back to when I first started hanging around Toronto 3 years ago. I think of the people in my life then, and how are struggles were similar. 3 years later those people seem to be doing pretty well. I seem to be stuck in some weird cycle that I haven't quite managed to break out of yet.

My music has been listened to by now 1000's of people. Three years ago, only a handful of friends had listened to my music. This blog not quite two years old, used to get 10 visits a week. Now it gets hundreds a day. I went from 20 twitter followers to close to 3000. It's all little victories at this point, but I'd like those little victories to add up to something. Something that holds meaning in the everyday. The everyday happiness.

There have been times in my life where I was crazy happy. I look back now and try to think why I was so happy and crazy about it, though I can't put a finger on it. Sometimes I think a part of happy is letting go of what you want, and that dodgy word 'settle' starts to circulate. But I don't think that's it, and people who use the word 'settle' and continue to do so often don't settle for long.

We all start over in our lives; some more than others, some with better reasons than others and new starts aren't a bad thing. Starting over however can be lonely, isolating, make you feel like you're going a bit stir crazy and it makes you over think your actions. That part of it isn't funny. The times I have had big 'start overs' in my life have often (in retrospect) been, while not the happiest times, the most fulfilling times.

But back to the happy. I think happiness happens in passing by fluke on some random day. Sometimes it sticks around, sometimes it walks out the front door. No one is ever quite sure. I am always curious about other peoples happiness. I wonder if I had the things that they had in their lives if I would be happier than then, the same, or not happy at all. These are things I think about because lately, I have a lot of time for long thoughts and staring contests at walls. I never win.

We are where we are in life and whether or not we move ahead in the direction we desire, has a little bit to do with us, and a little bit not to do with us. It's how we compound that out into the real world that is the deciding factor.

I would say compared to three years ago, I know more what I want now, I also think I may be further from it. Choices are choices, reaction, counter-reaction and all that. I've made bad choices. Not awful ones, but ones that have impacted me in really inadvertent, inconvenient way. I feel like I've taken the longest route to get to wherever it is I was wanting to get to.

People need time to grow. When I was sitting with a friend late at night talking about.. I can't remember but something invariably to do with the internet - I just had this feeling that he and I both took the long way round with things. In that moment I felt so immature; I really felt it, for the both of us - but said nothing because it's late at night and who needs to hear that stuff right before they go to bed. We all have weird enough dreams as it is.

The road less taken is the road more travelled and there's something to be said for that. It's that point on the road trip where all the landscapes seem to look the same and the further you drive, the slower things seem to go. However one day you arrive. Everybody does. One way or another. Some just take the side roads to get there.

Late July: Frequently Asked Questions

2012-01-08T23:23:00.001-05:00

Frequently.. I am asked questions regarding my music and this blog.

Where does the name "Late July" come from?

I don't really remember to be honest. I do recall turning to my friend and saying that Late July was a nice time of year and if I had an artist name I wanted it to remind people of something nice. Maybe Late July means trips to the cottage, or vacation or long summer walks. Either way, in this hemisphere it seems to remind people of good things and I was hoping my music would be a good thing - therefore the name.

Is it related to "Late July Organic Snacks"?

No. No relation, but a happy coincidence. I like that I have the same name as a cookie and cracker company. I hear the lady who runs the company name is Nicole too. Good people! Good snacks! Not related to me however.

Is Late July a band or an artist?

Late July is just me. At shows you will often see people playing on stage with me. They are respected musicians, often never the same lot of people, and so far only guys (but hey that could change!) While they act as a band, there's nothing cohesive and I consider myself a solo artist. I know that's confusing, as you say BUT THEY'RE IS MORE THAN JUST YOU ON STAGE. I know, I know, alas I am the only member of the act. I am just lucky that I have a small pocket of respected musicians on stage with me to make me look special and stuff.

Do you write your own songs?

Yes I write 95% of my own material. Adrian Ellis will occasional write the music for a bridge like the masterpiece on "Binary Hearts". But other than that, I write the songs. That said I am looking to doing co-writing and so far that's gone really well. Age of collaboration folks!

How do you write songs?

I am sad to say I am not a very methodical song writing. Songs just happen. Random times, in random places. The other day I was in a doctors office and I just started singing a tune. I pop out the recorder on my phone and I work from there. That's how these things happen. I tend to find songs that come together quickly, are usually the best kind. If I have to work too hard at it, the song generally will sound strained.

How long does it take you to write a record?

I was very determined when I wrote my first record Side Swept. I wrote that record a 48 hour period in late May 2009 - with the exception of A Well Kept Secret which I wrote in July 2009 and finished writing in October 2009. I didn't write it all but I had the chords melody and words down, sometimes there was a verse I hadn't written lyric wise or a bridge, but most of it I penned down quickly. My idea at the time was to start over, new material and to not really over think what I was writing. It worked and I was able to get out songs that I am still proud of and can listen to and be like "that's an okaaaay".

Hospital Quiet was more a collection of songs I wrote from November 2009 (I remember writing "What The Hell" first when I had a sinus infection. Odd) to June 2010. For the new record, that is yet to be named, I wrote most of from May 2011 to December 2011. The exception is one song that I wrote back in 2007 when I had pneumonia. I always wanted to record it properly and it seemed to fit. So there you have it. So in summation it depends on the record.

Who is Adrian Ellis?

Adrian Ellis is my producer, close friend and mentor. I met him through Craigslist before I started this record and have had nothing but an amazing experience working with him. It's not everyday you can say you created art with someone, while laughing through the whole process yet still taking everything seriously. He's a very talented composer and strongly recommend you check out his work, especially in regards to the work he's down with Out With dad. http://adrianelliscomposer.com If there's any one person who I felt never once doubted me, it's Adrian. He's good people!

What instruments do you play and do you play them on your own record

I play mostly guitar and piano - I've taken up the ukulele and I'd like to finish taking up a the banjo. I can play bass and drums too but generally have little opportunity to. I haven't played anything on my records because I feel that someone else could do it better. I consider myself a songwriter first and foremost and I oversee everything to do with my music career and that takes time. So I try to stay focused.

What inspires your lyrics, music, and writing of the songs?

Situations. Sometimes those I am involved in, sometimes those I am not. It's hard to say what attracts me to a certain sound but I try to go by intuition. Every record is fairly personal, and never about the same situation. Which is why I think a record is a perfect example of life, because it's a collaboration of random situations coming together in one entity.

If you have any more questions pop 'em at the end of this post.

Want to be a part of my next record? Make it happen!

Anywhere but here

2012-01-07T23:57:00.001-05:00

Most good stories start from an end. When people in various scenarios are left with nothing and must start over. This according to the recent stream of late 90's, early 2000's movies I have been watching on Netflix.

The pattern continues. Girl has an idea of life. Something drastic changes that.
Girl is left lost, disillusioned and has to start over.
Sulks and makes her life seem like she's taken massive concessions in it to survive.
She usually falls in love with someone who she doesn't feel is special but then MIRACULOUSLY turns out to be super duper special.
On her new path that seems sad and boring, turns out to be fun and exciting.
And at the end, everyone laughs and sighs and says "everything happens for a reason".

Just like those movies are made and written for a reason, that's how it goes. Things fall in patterns and cycles and things are realized. Things happen for a reason sure; but sometimes things just happen. And you might be in the result of that. In our microcosm universe we all bounce of each other unknowingly.

The way I see it we all have pieces about ourselvse, good ones, bad ones, beige ones.. and we have to put them together. And then we become a whole piece. And our relationships and involvements in any way become a piece of a bigger piece. It all spirals and thinking about this makes me want to listen to classical music and paint a 'paint by numbers' picture. Which I might do.

We are capable of so much. In fact if you're reading what I'm writing, you're on some type of computer related device. That alone means you're capable of THAT much more. The trick to life is time management. It has to be. Time is a big part of who we are. How we spend it. What we do. You look at the big picture and think, there's all this infinite time, and we exist in such a small amount of it - why the hell is it so important that we have to watch all this TV or nap or anything. We should just be doing as much as we can in the amount of that we have... and then I think of REAL life. And this whole being human thing isn't as easy in theory. We can create but it doesn't just happen. And it can't all be that meaningless.

Let's just be a bit more careful with our time, and a bit more liberal with our passion, shall we?

A word about bad juju.

2012-01-04T23:42:00.000-05:00

Bad juju happens sometimes. It happens in 3s and 6s and 9s.
It happens on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It happens when you sleep. Really... It just happens.

When bad juju happens you have the right to try to remain calm. Try.. to not feel life has flooded you out, like the ceiling is caving in. Things feel like they fall from the sky and hit you in the head. It all occurs and before you have time to think about it... Life moves on.

It's a good thing
It's a bad thing
It's just a thing.

When bad juju happens friends you didn't know were there show up. You don't have to ask they just look after things. So to those people who have stood beside me in my hour of bad juju... I salute you.

CAKE FOR EVERYONE!

Easily Bruised

2012-01-03T23:47:00.000-05:00

Working away at all these pre-production notes for the new record. It's definitely a little different having the experience of the first two records. The songs are done, I'm working on the over all concept and execution. I am interested to see how things are going to fit together. At times I wish I had a time machine to hear the finish product now, because once you go through the whole process, an artist will always hear their work different than you will (or so I think?) no matter how hard we try to. It's like walking into a house someone else built and then walking into a house you built. Obviously a lot of different sentiments go into everything.

To be honest, Hospital Quiet was a weird after thought. I was not quite sure if I wanted to make a second record at that time, but it just happened and I think it all happened well (Thanks Adrian!). My first record "Side Swept" (haven't heard it? listen to it here!) was more thought out. I think this record is a bit mapped out more than last time, which is why I need a little extra push to make it.

Today I am happy to say I passed the 20% mark on my fundraising campaign! I can't believe the support it's been awesome. The most popular perk has been a signed photo with a sadcore poem on the back. Don't worry folks, I've been working on the sadcorest of poems for you... haven't checked it out yet? Get on it Captain!

When I start to ramble on, like the way you do.

2012-01-02T23:21:00.000-05:00

For those of you who have contributed to my new campaign to raise funds for the upcoming record, thank you! We are at 20% ! You will have also seen the video below, an acoustic snippet of one of the tracks of the new record.

Take a look at the campaign; I'm offering all sorts of fun stuff and if you donate just $10 you'll be privy to all sorts of exclusive video updates!

Visit www.indiegogo.com/latejuly and even if you can't contribute please please please pass it on via FB, Twitter, a stick note, a bumper sticker, a sign on someone's back.. help me get the word out!

Here's a story of a lovely lady...

2012-01-01T23:51:00.000-05:00

Let's let the silly photos speak for themselves shall we?
Kudos for those who come up with clever yet ingenius sprightly captions.
Maybe even a real live prize.

My last post of 2011: I am in love with your face

2011-12-31T23:44:00.001-05:00

2011 is about to come to a swift close momentarily. As the year changes around the world, I sit here in my own little world. There is a beautiful view from my window. You can see the CN Tower all lit up in different colors and there's a dampness over the city that is making it shine and sparkle just enough to believe in New Years magic.

While I look back on this year, and I have had the time to reflect - it seems this year was about getting on my feet. I think I did well. I think I needed help. I think I knew when to ask for help. And I think that sometimes we don't get to pick and choose who helps us.

This was a 'lost' year. A lot of learning and being bounced around. I couldn't seem to stay in one place this year. And that's okay. I crave a bit more salt than sugar now. I like to be closer to the party then just outside of it. My biggest regrets this year was not setting goals for myself. I always had an excuse about being unstable and not being able to get there. Goals aren't purely for attaining. Goals give us direction. Goals don't always the end we want, but that doesn't always mean we won't end up with something better. That's the beauty of life. And the horror. Unpredictability.

But it's one foot in front of the other. I couldn't tell you what next year will be like for me. But I'm writing down goals. Not New Years resolutions, goals, for me. Things I want, things I need. They are not far off. I wish I could make them simple like "Don't get hurt by anyone" "Don't get sick" "Don't fail" - simple goals right? Ha. That's a life not worth living, I say.

When I think of 2011 the song below sticks out the most to me. I think I listened to this song over and over in August and September. It's like a big warm blanket of 2011 when I listen to it.

If people can't meet you half way, it's better to let go. But letting go doesn't always mean disappearing. It just means letting go of specific expectations and redefining responsibilities.

So 2011. I am letting you go.. you were a colorful year full of adventure and good stories. I hope 2012 is like you but a bit brighter in the corners, ya know? A little more happy, and a little less sappy. Show a bit more shoulder, smile, and when you conclude make a little more sense. No one likes a year that mumbles when it talks.

And to you dear universe, it's game on darling.

Play through!

We can't go through this again

2011-12-28T23:59:00.004-05:00

Take a good look at the picture above there - you see that? That's me. Sort of.

As you can see over the past year and a half I've posted quite a few photos of myself. But I won't lie and say it was all pandering. As a teenager I couldn't stand having my picture taken or looking in the mirror. Yup. Low self-esteem city. If someone pointed out something.. like let's say ask to 'shine my forehead for a nickel' or something like that I would melt.

Now that I'm older, wiser, and.. er.. older. I could care less when people attack the way I look.

My forehead is too big.

My nostrils are a little long

My nose is short.

My gum to tooth ratio is off.

My eyes are too big.

My ears are small and stick out.

My teeth are crooked.

I'm short

Blah blah blah.

I think there comes a point in your life where you just don't care. It's awesome. I highly recommend it. I actually enjoy pointing out my flaws. I find them hilarious and quirky. It's what makes me, me.

I know I'll never be the prettiest girl in the world, but I also know I'll never be the ugliest. And it doesn't really matter.

Now affront me on my personality and emotions therein... you got yourself a battle. In fact, I was arguing with my family over Christmas, stubbornly, about how I am not stubborn. Turns out. I am.

I can't answer personal questions anymore. I know that I seem, and can be, very personal when I write, perform, talk etc. But I just can't handle personal inquisition right now. Because sometimes those questions just have to come from yourself and to hear them come from other people, makes my stomach turn a little bit. I'll answer what I can to appease inquiring minds, but really I'm not there yet like I am with the above. I can write all kinds of nasty truths about my physical appearance, but ask me to do the same about my personality... and I'll get twitchy. And over think things.

And that's okay. Personal growth they call it. Shedding skin. Spreading wings. Spreading margarine. Or something to that effect.

So point out your flaws, the ones you can. I'm at least happy I'm okay with some of what used to bug me. Let's talk in another ten years, and maybe I can tell you all the horrible things about myself then. For now, THEY'RE MINE!