tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-115882612026-04-02T13:33:03.183-07:00Celebrating success through minimal effort.Lazy Asianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058087141039631600noreply@blogger.comBlogger280125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11588261.post-61309626196078116732010-02-22T19:41:00.000-08:002010-02-22T19:56:08.222-08:00

In honor of the 2010 Winter Olympics (and mainly due to laziness), I'm re-posting something I posted from the last Winter Olympics. I've been told this was the pinnacle of The Lazy Asian. Before it started to suck. The Olympic event I've been waiting for finally starts tomorrow - the exciting 4-Man Bobsled, or as the Eurotrash call it - Bobsleigh. Maybe this will be the event that finally

Lazy Asianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058087141039631600noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11588261.post-86968088673762628472008-12-12T22:55:00.001-08:002008-12-12T22:57:39.655-08:00

If you liked Dick in a Box, then prepared to be aroused again. In case you haven't seen this latest SNL video, please press play. Please. It'll be worth it.I find myself humming the song non-stop while making funny faces.

Lazy Asianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058087141039631600noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11588261.post-859514048768964762008-11-14T04:01:00.000-08:002008-11-14T16:02:03.904-08:00

The "Most Beautiful Bottom in the World" contest was held in Paris this week. The female winner was Brazil's Melanie Nunes Fronckowiak (R) and the male winner was France's Saiba Bombote (L). In keeping with the general theme of my blog and my general distaste for the French, I was tempted to crop out the dude. But given the whole Prop 8 debacle here in California, I'm supporting equal

Lazy Asianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058087141039631600noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11588261.post-36478212083954522792008-08-18T18:50:00.000-07:002008-08-18T19:02:43.069-07:00

Here's a screen capture from the women's 72kg division Olympic wrestling match between American Ali Bernard and China's Wang Jiao. The Olympics are supposed to open China up to the world - but it seems like this Chinese wrestler is doing the opening herself. I don't know much about women's wrestling beyond the baby oil variation - but something tells me this can't be legal. Shocking I tell you

Lazy Asianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058087141039631600noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11588261.post-15107724967807340292008-08-11T21:40:00.000-07:002008-08-11T22:37:19.738-07:00

Along with 3 billion other people around the world on Friday night, I watched the Beijing Olympics Opening Ceremony. And for the first time in Lazy Asian history, I am going to celebrate the exact opposite of Asian Laziness - Asian hardwork, ingenuity, and proclivity to procreate. The show that my fellow 15,000 Asians pulled off was ridiculous. There aren't too many times in your life when you

Lazy Asianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058087141039631600noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11588261.post-36046325052107360542008-07-01T08:30:00.000-07:002008-07-01T11:07:23.637-07:00

It's July 1st - and you know what that means. Why it's Canada Day of course!Celebrated 3 days before America's Independence Day, Canada Day marks Canada's independence - but not really. It marks the joining of the British colonies of joining of the British colonies of Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, and the Province of Canada into a federation of four provinces (the Province of Canada being

Lazy Asianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058087141039631600noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11588261.post-10919431718295046702008-06-27T18:16:00.000-07:002008-06-27T18:51:12.760-07:00

In geopolitical news this week (despite being lazy, I do read The Economist), North Korea destroyed a nuclear reactor tower to prove that they're ending their nuclear weapons program. In response, President Bush is lifting some sanctions against N. Korea and removing the country from the State Department's list of state sponsors of terrorism.Hmm...sounds a little too easy to me. I'm not

Lazy Asianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058087141039631600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11588261.post-17021176793850539742008-06-10T22:55:00.000-07:002008-06-10T22:55:28.801-07:00

When I was a kid, I always dreamed about playing a major league sport. That dream quickly faded when I developed self-awareness and realized I was Asian. So I studied engineering.But now my dream has been rekindled - with the discovery of the USARPS - the United States of America Rock, Paper, Scissors League. Yes, that's right. Armed with the knowledge of three hand symbols, and the ability

Lazy Asianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058087141039631600noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11588261.post-8009179676936965212008-05-30T12:02:00.000-07:002008-05-30T12:08:30.552-07:00

The biggest non-event is finally here. Sex and the City the movie opens today. It's hard for me to understand why anyone would want to watch a group of superficial, narcissistic women live their pathetic lives - but for some reason, people like this crap. Plus, if I wanted to see a horse, I'd wait until the Belmont Stakes next weekend.The reviews are in - and suprise, surprise - they all

Lazy Asianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058087141039631600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11588261.post-18245036968886528042008-05-07T21:23:00.000-07:002008-05-07T21:55:39.279-07:00

Australian researchers have found that frequent masturbation may help men cut their risk of contracting prostate cancer - making this discovery the most important medical discovery in the history of medical discoveries.Apparently, if you don't glaze your carrot enough, carcinogens may build up in the prostate. The researchers surveyed more than 1,000 men who had developed prostate cancer, and

Lazy Asianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058087141039631600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11588261.post-84890192886274701962008-04-18T17:06:00.000-07:002008-04-18T17:26:00.573-07:00

Why do polygamists all have the same awesome Rick Astley-inspired hairstyle? Is that something the men find attractive? It doesn't make sense to me. If I'm going to have 10 wives - I'd want them all to look a little different - because isn't variety the reason for being a polygamist in the first place?I bet the official hairstylist of a polygamist compound has a pretty easy job. Not much

Lazy Asianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058087141039631600noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11588261.post-55105316044975170882008-03-27T22:20:00.000-07:002008-03-27T22:19:42.662-07:00

We're well into spring now - and what better way to celebrate than with a nice and sunny weather forecast featuring Mary Gammara. In fact, every day is sunny with Mary. She could be describing the weather in Buffalo and I'd still have a smile on my face.In recent days, I've noticed a sharp increase in traffic originating from searches for Mary Gammara. Has she suddenly become mainstream? Does

Lazy Asianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058087141039631600noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11588261.post-5966588570149586802008-03-19T22:39:00.000-07:002008-03-19T23:00:04.776-07:00

Joe Francis, the creator of Girls Gone Wild is generally regarded as a douchebag. But admit, I really do admire his luck this week. After offering $1 million for Ashley Dupre (Eliot Spitzer's high-priced hooker), he quickly rescinded the offer after realizing he already had video footage of her during Spring Break 2003. Further proof that appearing on Girls Gone Wild when you're 18 is a good

Lazy Asianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058087141039631600noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11588261.post-5782178283060539532008-03-17T16:49:00.000-07:002008-03-17T17:14:11.040-07:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day!! Being an Asian, this day really confuses me - specifically, how white people can drink so much on a weekday. But what's even more confusing is how St. Patrick's Day can be a big deal in Mobile, Alabama. Watch this news story and you'll find out!

Lazy Asianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058087141039631600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11588261.post-7256472124432091832008-03-13T01:42:00.000-07:002008-05-30T12:09:42.025-07:00

Here she is - Ashley Alexandra Dupre. She's better known as Kristen - a world class escort with Emperor's Club VIP. She's 22, an aspiring singer, and even has a MySpace page. So she and I actually share something in common!! Of course, now she'll be more famous that I'll ever be. Unless I start sleeping with the Governor too. But somehow I don't think I'll get paid $4000 an hour for

Lazy Asianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058087141039631600noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11588261.post-83446436426618905192008-03-11T22:25:00.000-07:002008-03-11T22:40:46.589-07:00

I'm a sucker for Clementines. Whenever I see a display of them at the grocery store - I usually buy a bunch. They come in those fancy little crates and have cute names like, well... "Cuties". Plus, they count as fruit right?See, that's the thing. Whenever I eat a clementine - I feel like I'm cheating. Because they're just so tasty and easy to peel! How can I possibly be getting any vitamin

Lazy Asianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058087141039631600noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11588261.post-40029339236561248202008-03-02T20:46:00.000-08:002008-03-02T20:49:07.861-08:00

Some people in America complain that the Chinese government is backward, resulting in human rights violations across the country. But sometimes it just results in hilarity. Just last year, several cities in Henan province banned their government officials from drinking during their lunch breaks. Which means that just over a year ago - government officials still got plastered on lunchtime

Lazy Asianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058087141039631600noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11588261.post-67168315682767358542008-02-22T10:25:00.000-08:002008-02-22T10:44:36.409-08:00

Australian artist Tim Patch is too lazy to buy brushes and paint like a normal person. So he uses his penis instead. Yeah, that's right, his schlong. He calls himself Pricasso. How cute.I'm not sure if he paints only when he's erect - or also when he's flaccid - but I'm sure it makes a difference. And if he needs to be erect, how does he keep it that way? Viagra? Or does he just only paint

Lazy Asianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058087141039631600noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11588261.post-70716590017787926202008-02-20T18:48:00.000-08:002008-02-20T18:48:33.938-08:00

Jennifer Lopez and her significantly less attractive husband have reportedly struck a deal with People magazine for rights to publish photos of their twins for $6 million. Are you fucking kidding me? That's more obscene than J-Lo's ass.This is complete bullshit - celebrities are regularly getting millions of dollars for their baby photos. Jamie Lynn Spears will get $1 million from OK! magazine

Lazy Asianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058087141039631600noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11588261.post-59235365243409967022008-02-15T09:50:00.001-08:002008-02-15T13:55:36.748-08:00

I do not like Hillary. She really grinds my gears. And I will attempt to tarnish her image by taking a perfectly innocent photo out of context. Mien Führer!

Lazy Asianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058087141039631600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11588261.post-40073417230592856292008-02-14T11:04:00.001-08:002008-02-14T12:22:18.136-08:00

Happy Valentines Day! For the first time in the 2 year history of The Lazy Asian, The Lazy Asian has somehow finagled himself a Valentine! Of course, I still think that Valentine's Day is an evil holiday created by the corporate geniuses at Victoria's Secret, The Vermont Teddy Bear Company, and effing Pajama-Gram - but having someone else to share this bullshit holiday with makes the bullshit a

Lazy Asianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058087141039631600noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11588261.post-88268602122346076392008-02-12T18:50:00.000-08:002008-02-12T18:51:35.996-08:00

The anticipation is finally over. Today, Sports Illustrated unveiled the cover for their annual Swimsuit issue. Marisa Miller is the featured model - and she's a favorite of The Lazy Asian - mainly for two big reasons: all natural beauty, and the fact that she's a surfer. Actually, four reasons. The two I just mentioned, plus her sun-kissed blond hair, and freckled skin. Actually, six

Lazy Asianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058087141039631600noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11588261.post-59223287967678468542008-01-16T16:52:00.000-08:002008-01-16T16:58:09.461-08:00

I used to think that I was the Master of Partying (having studied engineering in college and all), but I think I've found a new and worthy King. Check out this dude in Australia. This guy is pretty freaking awesome. And by awesome I mean completely lacking the ability the feel remorse for anything at all. I predict that he will live a very happy life for years to come.

Lazy Asianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058087141039631600noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11588261.post-23226160700409286792008-01-14T22:05:00.000-08:002008-01-14T22:05:41.405-08:00

Happy New Year!!! I'm a couple of weeks late - but being on time isn't really what you'd expect from me anyway. To start the year off right - I wanted to find something all you fellow lazy readers can use to your benefit - perhaps incorporate into your new year's resolutions. And I think I found something perfect: Naps can actually improve your memory!!That's right - a researcher at

Lazy Asianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058087141039631600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11588261.post-35004530558075307712007-12-17T22:20:00.000-08:002007-12-17T22:33:18.684-08:00

Check out this year's Miss Russia, 20 year old Ksenia Sukhimova. She'll represent Russia in next year's Miss World contest. Like all young Russian women, she's pretty damn hot. But this one is extra special because her name is super awesome. Just read it.

Lazy Asianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17058087141039631600noreply@blogger.com1