lazy circles

Quote of the Day

2012-01-28T15:50:00.001-06:00

"'Why do people take such an instant dislike to me?' asked a perplexed Gingrich, to whom Dole bluntly explained: 'Because it saves them time.'"

--An apocryphal exchange between Newt Gingrich and Bob Dole as related by Mark Shields. It may or not be true, but it certainly is accurate.

Via Andrew Sullivan

Quote of the Day

2012-01-27T05:23:00.001-06:00

“Everyone always says that when they leave these jobs.”

--Hillary Clinton, immediately after stating that she is leaving the "high wire of American politics" as soon as a re-elected President Obama can appoint a successor Secretary of State and a transition can occur. She has stated clearly many times that she is leaving political life after the end of the President's first term, but was she cracking open the door a bit with that last comment?

Newt Thinks We're Pagans Who Are "Fundamentally" Violating Our Civilization

2012-01-26T21:21:00.002-06:00

Here's the latest grandiose thought from the grandest thinker of grandiose thoughts ever denied tenure at West Georgia College:

"It's pretty simple: marriage is between a man and a woman. This is a historic doctrine driven deep into the Bible, both in the Old Testament and in the New Testament, and it's a perfect example of what I mean by the rise of paganism. The effort to create alternatives to marriage between a man and a woman are perfectly natural pagan behaviors, but they are a fundamental violation of our civilization."

If my marriage is a "perfectly natural pagan behavior" and a "fundamental violation of our civilization, then I assume that civilized behavior means marrying your high school teacher, fucking a younger babe, divorcing wife number 1 when she gets old and sick because she's not pretty enough to be first lady, marrying the gal you happen to be currently fucking because a politician needs a wife, fucking the shit out of an "aide" when wife number 2 gets older and sick and no longer pretty enough to be first lady, marrying the bottle blonde you're currently fucking, then condemning me and my disabled husband to whom I have maintained fidelity for over a decade. Newt can bite my ass.

Coming Soon to Your Grocer's Baby Food Shelf: Gerber's Peas And Placenta

2012-01-26T05:31:00.000-06:00

This is a picture of Republican Oklahoma State Senator Ralph Shortey who has introduced a bill with the purpose of “prohibiting the sale or manufacture of food or products which contain aborted human fetuses.” He based the bill on research he did on the internet. I'm sure the mad scientists at Gerber are shaking their fists at Shortey for foiling their secret plot to kill babies for baby food. Of course, Oklahoma is also the state that passed a bill forbidding the use of Sharia law even though it has never been used in the state. Oklahoma is also the home of Sen. Sally Kern who has said that homosexuality is a greater threat to our nation than terrorism. Gay Muslim Fetus food is not welcome in Oklahoma!

Headline of the Day

2012-01-24T11:04:00.000-06:00

"Dallas Actor Owen Wilson's 'Midnight in Paris' Earns Best Picture Oscar Nod"

--Dallas Morning News

Oscar Noms!

2012-01-24T08:09:00.001-06:00

The Oscar nominations were announced this morning by Academy President Tom Sherak and Jennifer Lawrence and, thank God, there were surprises.

Supporting Actress:
Berenice Bejo for The Artist
Jessica Chastain for The Help
Melissa McCarthy for Bridesmaids
Janet McTeer for Albert Nobbs
Octavia Spencer for The Help

Supporting Actor:
Kenneth Branagh for My Week With Marilyn
Jonah Hill for Moneyball
Nick Nolte for Warrior
Christopher Plummer for Beginners
Max von Sydow for Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Lead Actor:
Demian Bichir for A Better Life
George Clooney for The Descendants
Jean Dujardin for The Artist
Gary Oldman for Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy
Brad Pitt for Moneyball

Lead Actress:
Glenn Close for Albert Nobbs
Viola Davis for The Help
Rooney Mara for The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Meryl Streep for The Iron Lady
Michelle Williams for My Week With Marilyn

Directing:
Michel Hazanavicius for The Artist
Alexander Payne for The Descendants
Martin Scorsese for Hugo
Woody Allen for Midnight in Paris
Terrence Malick for The Tree of Life

Best Picture:
The Artist
The Descendants
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
The Help
Hugo
Midnight in Paris
Moneyball
The Tree of Life
War Horse

My initial thoughts. I suppose Rooney Mara is the biggest upset, making Tilda Swinton the biggest snub. Max von Sydow and the Best Picture nod for Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close were somewhat unexpected and should please LC NY Bureau Chief Doug. The nominations for Jessica Chastain, Octavia Spencer, and Melissa McCarthy certainly weren't surprising, but what a year those three are having. I'm excited by Kenneth Branagh's well deserved nomination, but I hope Christopher Plummer wins for his moving performance. Granted, Plummer was clearly in a leading role, but what else is new with the Oscars?

I'm not at all ready to make predictions, but my favorites in the acting categories are Octavia Spencer for Supporting Actress, Christopher Plummer for Supporting Actor, Michelle Williams for Lead Actress, and Jean Dujardin for Lead Actor. What are your thoughts?

13.9%

2012-01-24T05:25:00.000-06:00

That's the effective rate that Mitt Romney paid in Federal Income Taxes in 2010 on $21.6 million in income, according to his just-released returns. He estimates a 15.4 rate on $20.9 million in 2011. His returns also revealed vast holdings in the Cayman Islands and in a Swiss bank account that he closed after an investment advisor decided that it could be politically sensitive.

Keep in mind that Romney only released any of this after pressure from Newt Gingrich. This makes it look like he had something to hide, thus the returns will be subject to greater scrutiny than if he had quietly released them earlier.

Equality Getting Closer in WA, MD, Maybe Even NJ

2012-01-23T21:29:00.001-06:00

The marriage equality movement has caught fire very recently with progress imminent in several places across the country. In Washington state, it looks like the legislature has enough votes to pass the marriage equality bill that Gov. Christine Gregoire has championed. Sen. Mary Margaret Haugen is the lastest to change her position and said that it took her a while "to reconcile my religious beliefs with my beliefs as an American, as a legislator, and as a wife and mother who cannot deny to others the joys and benefits I enjoy." Thank you, Sen. Haugen.

In Maryland, Gov. Martin O'Malley has introduced a marriage equality bill. The bill includes religious exemptions that are clearer than the bill introduced last year, which failed. He has scheduled a breakfast tomorrow with Maryland gay rights leaders.

In New Jersey, a marriage equality bill is being fast tracked as polls show support from a strong majority of voters. Gov. Chris Christie has stated that he opposes equality, but he also has not stated plainly that he would veto this particular bill. It's also significant that, just today, Christie appointed the first openly gay African American to the New Jersey Supreme Court, Bruce Harris, currently the mayor of Chatham Borough. Christie called Garden State Equality chair Steven Goldstein personally on his cell phone to tell him the news. Goldstein said "you could have picked me up off the floor."

Gabrielle Giffords Resigns

2012-01-23T05:06:00.000-06:00

So sad to see this.

Monday's Man: Tom Brady

2012-01-23T04:07:00.002-06:00

Hey, did you hear that the New England Patriots are headed for the Super Bowl? No? Well, they are. Get your sports news right here at Lazy Circles! The Pats got the most home runs or baskets or whatever, so they're going to the big game and that gives me an excuse to post hot pictures of quarterback Tom Brady.

Not that I needed an excuse.

Somebody knows how to work a tank top.

All it takes to have that body is Smartwater.

I'm haunted by what's not under that coat.

No way he wears that cheap cologne, but he looks good selling it.

Tweet of the Day

2012-01-22T10:01:00.000-06:00

From Jesse Taylor @Pandagon:

"Given what South Carolina did tonight to keep a black man in office, I think they've atoned for any previous racism. #scprimary"

Fun Fact

2012-01-22T09:58:00.000-06:00

In 2012, three different Republican candidates won in Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina. The same thing happened to the Democrats in 1988 when Dukakis won New Hampshire and went on to win the nomination.

Quote of the Day

2012-01-22T08:06:00.000-06:00

"It's not that I'm a good debater. It's that I articulate the deepest-felt values of the American people."

--Newt Gingrich, humble as always, in his South Carolina victory speech. I've never heard him articulate anything that I would recognize as a value.

"Truffled Grits"

2012-01-22T02:15:00.004-06:00

Wes and I went to a painfully chic restaurant last night and the special was "Divers scallops with truffled grits and baby bok choy." I immediately thought of this (FF to 3:18):

Or as Miss Daisy said, "On Forsyth Street we only had meat once a week. We made a meal off of grits and gravy." You still can, ma'am, only now it costs $30.00.

Brazen Racism is Back in South Carolina

2012-01-21T19:30:00.003-06:00

~~Orvill Faubis~~ ~~Boss Hogg~~ Newton LeRoy Gingrich has won the South Carolina primary, based on two debate performances in which he put Juan Williams "in his place," successfully blamed his serial adultery on the liberal media, and practically stated flat out that black people are all lazy and on food stamps.

The Republican base has proven once again that the term "family values" is meaningless bullshit. If a candidate hates the gays hard enough and throws in enough racism, it doesn't matter that he fucked some random blond for eight years before his previous mistress turned second wife figured it out. It doesn't matter that he expected his second wife to put up with his latest mistress. It doesn't matter that it was only after she said no and divorced him that he made his latest mistress his third wife. None of it matters. He's a defender of marriage.

2012-01-21T15:00:00.000-06:00

"I may have to switch my support after that last debate. Newt-tron bomb!"

--A Facebook status update from a SC college friend and devoted evangelical Republican who previously was all-in for Santorum. I wrote her a note asking her to reconsider her support of Frothy. She never replied but is apparently voting for the Newtster today. I'm not sure which is worse; Santorum the overt homophobe or Gingrich the overt racist.

Speaks for Itself

2012-01-21T14:40:00.000-06:00

Thanks for LC Reader Ray

My Bold Prediction For the SC Primary

2012-01-21T14:29:00.003-06:00

Orville Faubis: 33%
Scrooge McDuck: 28%
Crazy Uncle Who Broke Out of the Basement: 14%
Percy Dovetonsils in a Sweater Vest: 13%
Updated Pat Paulson: 12%

It's Not Looking Good for Mittens

2012-01-21T13:48:00.000-06:00

Quote of the Day

2012-01-20T05:10:00.000-06:00

"It's not enough that they fill our answering machines with vitriol, fill our mailboxes with junk and clog our TV's with their infantile jabs at each other, but now they back up traffic on the interstate for 4 miles with hot air balloons. Please go away!"

--A South Carolina friend who got her fill of the SC Primary when a Ron Paul hot air balloon was set up on the side of the freeway and snarled morning rush hour traffic for miles.

Newt Gingrich is White Trash

2012-01-19T18:20:00.002-06:00

Take away their money, and Newt and his latest bottle blonde would be on Montell.

Still not convinced that Newt and Calista were to the trailer born? Check out their McClain, VA home:

If one French poodle topiary is good, 20 French poodle topiaries are better! Still doubt that Newt and Calista are Roseanne and Tom without the sense of humor?

This is their master bath. Not kidding. Check out the chandelier and the Belle Watling window treatments. As my dear, late mother would have said, "All their taste is in their mouth."

Apologies to Belle Watling and Roseanne. Calista could learn a lot about being a true lady from either of them.

Et Tu, Texas?

2012-01-18T05:23:00.001-06:00

The latest Public Policy Polling has found Rick Perry to be tanking among Texas Republicans. In September, he had a commanding 49% lead over Romney's 10%. Now, Perry has fallen to 3rd place behind Romney and Gingrich. Fellow Texan Ron Paul is in 5th place. Here are the numbers:

Romney: 24%
Gingrich: 21%
Perry: 18%
Santorum: 15%
Paul: 12%

In a head to head match-up with Romney, Perry still looses, but it's close. Romney leads 46-45. However, in September, Perry lead 72-18. Clearly, Perry's support has fallen off a cliff in Texas.

What's more, 39% of Texas Republicans now say Perry has damaged the image of Texas. That's got to hurt.

h/t LC NY Bureau Chief Doug

I've Got Your Golden Globes Right Here!

2012-01-17T16:48:00.002-06:00

Is it my imagination or was the show a bit duller than last year? I felt like Ricky Gervais was on good behavior, at least for him. There were no moments when the audience seemed to want to kill him. There were also no drunken celebrities making poop jokes or anything really out of control. In any case, here are my random thoughts recorded in real time as I sipped champagne and watched the show:

The show's just begun, and Ricky's already making Beaver jokes (ed. note: this was his best moment in the show). "No smut or innuendo. And I’m not to libel anyone. And I must not mention Mel Gibson this year. Not his private life, his politics, his recent films or especially not Jodie Foster’s Beaver. I haven’t seen it myself. I’ve spoken to a lot of guys – they haven’t seen it either but that doesn’t mean it’s not good.” Jodie's a good sport and actually seems to be enjoying it.

Next up are Gerard Butler looking like a smarmy used car salesman and Mila Kunis with a sheer bodice. Supporting actor to Christopher Plummer! Well deserved even he was clearly in a leading role. He gave a moving speech and his wife of 42 years is stunning!

Ashton shaved and cut his hair! He looks like jail bait. I prefer him with the beard. Elle McPherson is a sex goddess. Best TV comedy actress is Laura Dern. Like her, like her show, but she's clearly not the "best" in this field.

Miss Golden Globe is the lovely daughter of "actress Andie McDowell."

Best Mini Series is, of course, Downton Abbey, which I am DVRing as we speak.

Best Actress in a Mini Series is Kate Winslet. It feels like she's been picking up trophies for Mildred Pierce for two years.

Now we are being treated to Jeremy Irons and the President of the Hollywood Foreign Press, Dr. Irena Taco Heine. My spelling may be off.

OMG IT'S JAKE!

He can feel me watching him and knows I'm the perfect man for him. I just know it.

Actor in a TV Drama is Kelsey Grammer for some show I have no intention of watching.

Best TV Drama is Homeland. I don't get Showtime.

I just added a 3-way with Adam Levine and Jimmy Fallon to my bucket list.

Original Score goes to The Artist. Take THAT Kim Novak!

Orignial Song goes to ~~Elton~~ ~~Mary J.~~ Madonna! Elton is not even trying to look pleasant. Madge's speech is all about her even though she had co-writers. This award is for me, for me, FOR ME!

Katharine McPhee looks young and fresh. Debra Messing looks like Norma Desmond.
Best Actor in a Mini Series is Idris Elba for something I've never heard of. He looks good, though.

It's Seth Rogan and Kate Beckinsale's boobs. Seth says "I'm trying to conceal a massive erection." Finally! Someone is trying to have some fun tonight! Best Actress in a Comedy or Musical is Michelle Williams for "the hilarious comedy" My Week With Marilyn. Another well deserved award. I loved her performance.

Sarah Michelle Geller comes out in a gigantic ink blot of a dress and announces Supporting Actor in a TV series. It's Peter Dinklage. Never seen the show.

George Clooney works the cane better than Brad Pitt. He gets more and more handsome as the years go by.

Jessica Alba, looking pretty, and Channing Tatum, unfortunately dressed (nothing wrong with the tux, it's just unfortunate that he's dressed) give out Animated Feature to TinTin.

I really want Ewan McGregor to fuck me. Is that too much to ask?

I could do a 3-way with Clive Owen and Nicole Kidman.  My bucket list is filling up. Screenplay goes to Woody Allen for Midnight in Paris. Shockingly, he's not there to accept the award.

Jessica Lange wins Supporting TV Actress. Damn Straight. She was beyond in American Horror Story. She won a Globe for King Kong? Who knew?

Madge comes out to present. Her own Golden Globes are about to pop. That bodice looks painful. She's not exactly a good sport about Ricky Gervais' Like a Virgin comment. "If I'm still like a virgin, why don't you come out and do something about it? I haven't kissed a girl in a few years....on TV." Did she just call Ricky Gervais a girl? She gives out Foreign Film to A Separation from Iran.

The camera is panning all the Actress, TV Drama nominees. Madeleine Stowe's face is tight as a drum. Must be all the pilates and good nutrition. Claire Danes wins for Homeland, or maybe she's still collecting trophies for Temple Grandin. Hard to tell.

It's Tina Fey and Jane Lynch! Two of my fave funny ladies. Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical is Matt Leblanc.  He is one hot man. He has transformed himself from cute Friend to serious masturbation material.

Bradley Cooper is giving out Supporting Actress Movie. Remember him from Globe Trekker? One word: fuckable.

A young and fresh Bradley Cooper on Globe Trekker with an unknown naked guy.

Today? One word: whatever.

Bradley today. A touch of douche, don't you think?

The Globe goes to Octavia Spencer! Love her and love her dress. She is sooo going to win the Oscar. I love it when a hard working character actress finally gets her due.

Reese Witherspoon is looking Just Fucked with a red mermaid dress that just crosses the hootch line.
Sidney Poitier gets a deserved standing ovation. He doesn't appear well. He's giving the lifetime achievement award to Morgan Freeman. I guess this show really is going to go on for 3 hours. Time for a pottie break. Should I open that other bottle of champagne? Wait, here comes Helen Mirren to breathe some life into this show. My bucket list just got one more entry. You know she'd be blistering in the sack.

The stunning Movie Goddess Angelina Jolie presents Best Director to Martin Scorsese for Hugo.

Salma Hayek and Antonio Banderis. I love the skin he's in. He has the world's greatest plastic surgeon. You'd think he'd pass the doc's number on to his wife. They give out TV Comedy to Modern Family. Love.

Michelle Pfeiffer is looking radiant.

Marky Mark comes out with ~~Mr. Ed~~ Jessica Biel in the most overdone dress of the night. Best Actor Comedy or Musical goes to Jean Dujardin! Love the movie and love him. Gorgeous. French kisses all around!

The Queen introduces The Help. Was she at Jodie Foster's table?

"The evil Colin Firth." Cute bit, Ricky, but seriously, you need to ramp it up. There's still time to save this thing. Colin awards Best Actress Drama to Meryl Streep. She seems genuinely surprised. She gave a great performance in a good film.

Jane Fonda is the hottest bitch in the room. She gives Best Movie Comedy or Musical to The Artist!

The exquisite Natalie Portman awards Best Actor Drama to Clooney. Clooney tells Michael Fassbender that he could play golf with his huge schlong! Way to loosen up the crowd, George! Obviously I should see Shame. I'm still not interested in seeing The Descendants.

Harrison Ford, who seems to be from the same home as Sidney Poitier, awards Best Movie Drama to The Descendants. I'm still not interested in seeing that movie.

Finally! It's all over folks!

Monday's Man: David Charvet

2012-01-17T05:04:00.002-06:00

Yes, I realize this is Tuesday, but yesterday was a holiday, so for many of us, this is Monday, get it? Besides, I had a very busy day yesterday and, well I'll spare you the excuses. Better late than never, I present David Charvet:

This week's selection was, of course, inspired by LC NY Bureau Chief' Doug's text during the Miss America pageant alerting me to host Brook Burke Charvet's hot husband. Here is the incredibly perfect couple who just happened to be taking their bodies for a beach stroll when a photographer happened by. "Oh darn Brooke, there's a photographer. I hope my cargo shorts aren't too low." "Gee David, I hope this sarong I happened to throw on will look cute in the picture."

Here he is in his Baywatch days. Do you think he has an aging portrait in the attic?

And a current shot. The only real difference I see is more chest hair. Thank God.

Golden Globes Fashion Report

2012-01-16T11:21:00.006-06:00

I watched the Golden Globes red carpet arrivals so you didn't have to. I'm sure most of my readers find all that glamor and fashion boring, but just in case there's someone out there who wants to know who wore it best, here are a few thoughts and pictures:

I bow to Tilda Swinton. She has an unmatched sense of style. Perfection.

Tina Fey's not in black! Big props for taking a risk on burgundy. Baby steps.

Connie Britton is ready for lunch at the Cheesecake Factory.

Melissa McCarthy with her cute husband. She's in the color of the night, forest green. I don't love it.

Kate Beckinsale is ready for Joan's Rack Report.

When did Imelda Marcos let her hair go grey?

Octavia Spencer continues her march to Oscar in lovely lavender. She looked so pretty.

Sarah Michelle Geller said her 2 year old chose this dress. Obviously.

Elle McPherson's dress may be overworked, but she's a sex goddess, so who cares?

Salma Hayek is out to make you forget that Colombian bitch Sofia Vergara.

I'm thinking this is one of those dresses that's exquisite in person, but in pictures it looks like the upholstery from a '75 Buick.

I really hope Mila Kunis' cups are lined.

You are caught in the web of the Spider Woman. You can scream, you can hide, but you cannot escape!

Goddess.

On Mila Kunis or Salma Hayek, Just Fucked hair looks hot. On Kristin Wiig, it looks like the Manson Family.

Just when you thought Angelina Jolie couldn't look better, she shows up like this. Spectacular.

Bow to the queen. She looks younger and fresher than a dozen Hollywood 20 somethings I could name.

Movie Star.