Building Successful Careers

Six Essential Leadership Skills

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Xu) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 05:49:00 +0000

Six Essential Leadership Skills

There are 6 categories of skills that make or break a leader:
Strategic Formulation
Customer Orientation
Business Strategy Implementation
Being a Team Player
Leadership
Personal Traits

Understanding these skills will help you to recognize your opportunities.

Elizabeth Xu, sample content from the to be published book.

noreply@blogger.com (Pat Zimmerman) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 15:47:00 +0000

Christmas Memories
My Mom was the Queen of Christmas. To this day, I remember the beautiful
decorations, wonderful foods, joyous music and, of course, the gifts. Although
money was never plentiful in our home, she found ways to make memories that linger
in her daughters’ minds forever. All four of us have tried to pick up from where she left off.

We made red and green chains out of construction paper and homemade paste. She hung these in the doorways to decorate the house. She hung the wonderful Christmas cards received from loved ones around the doorways. We all joined in the decorating of the tree. Favorite ornaments would be hung in a prominent place. Mom liked each piece of tinsel hung separately not flung at the tree.

This is the season of love and family. Mom would bake cookies while we were at
school. When we came home, the whole family would frost and decorate them. We
felt so proud when she served our “works of art” to friends and relatives or
when we took a tray of our “homemade wonders” to neighbors.

We took part in the Christmas program at church all
practicing our speeches until we could repeat them from memory. We received an orange and a bag of hard candy for our hard work. We sang in the choir or chorus at church and school performing in the annual holiday concerts. I still
remember words of songs I sang when I was nine years old:

“Snowy flakes are falling softly
Clothing all the world in white.
High above the stars are shining
Twinkling through the wintry night.
Was it just like this we wonder
Starry bright and crispy cold
On that Christmas night of old.”

Music has always been a very important part of the
celebration of this season.

Today I take the little ones to one of the many musical events in our town. Perhaps it is the lighting of the city’s Christmas tree or to the philharmonic concert. Ice
skating is always fun for the children too…or skiing if you have access to the snow-capped mountains.

There were always lots and lots of packages under
the tree. In lean years, they may have been socks and underwear, but they were beautifully wrapped and received with joy.

Whatever you do this time of year, include children. Make memories that they will
think of in their old age…and smile.

Happy Holidays to you all.

---PatZimmerman

Money, Time and Relationships

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Xu) — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 00:02:00 +0000

When we were at college, money was the most important element of my life. We needed it to pay bills and buy things we liked. Many of us worked many not so glamor jobs, exchanged time for money. We learned tremendously from that life experience. We treasured money.

After a few years of stable jobs, we earned more money. But money was never enough for us to feel secure. We work more. We work day and night. Some of us have to make appointments with our spouses just to spend some time alone. We became smarter over time, we now use money to buy time: we pay for cooks, cleaning services, baby sitters; we pay drivers to drive our kids around, we get 1-1 private classes for our children at home. When we sit next to our children, we check our messages, reply to our boss’ emails at all hours. One of my friend’s son one day yelled at her: “ You love your phone more than your love me!” We are physically with our family but our minds drift away to our work. We are never with our family 100%.

One Sunday morning this past summer, I opened my laptop as usual to work on some projects. A newspaper cartoon clip was on my screen: ”Are you more available to your devices than to your family? Are you sure? Then why is this message taped to your computer?” My son signed his name on the newspaper.

I turned around, my son looked at me with a big smile. I closed my laptop, spent a memorable Sunday with my family at the beach.

While sitting on the beach watching a beautiful sunset, I realized a funny circle I went through:

Using time to earn money when we don’t have money, then using money to buy time when we run short on time. However, time and money become insignificant when our most important relationships are hurting.
How much time and money do you invest in your most important relationships? What are you going to do differently in the coming days and years?

Elizabeth Xu on Thanksgiving Day

WIn, Win, Win

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Xu) — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 03:43:00 +0000

I heard the term “location, location, location” for the very first time when I was hunting for my first house. No surprise at all, because I didn’t grow up in the United States and had no clue about how to select a house.

What does this expression using three “locations” really mean? A curious person as I have always been, asked many realtors and got many interesting answers. Most of them told me that three repeating locations mean that location is very important. My interpretation from my house hunting experience is:

1) Location: which city you want to grow your family and what kind of life style it provides
2) Location: What street you want to live on, small court close to highway or close to school, what kind of convenience it provides to your daily life
3) Location: the orientation/direction of your house, facing east, south, floor plan, size of the lot, plus some other consideration depending on your culture and the comfort level it provides

When I had these three locations in mind, my decision was much easier. We “won the war” of buying our first house and we are proud of our decision.

When it come to the career, many people hear “win, win, win” the very first time. Win-win is well understood: two parties try to construct a business solution beneficial to both parties.

What’s “win, win, win”?
1) Win: Your company wins, your decisions and solutions must support your company’s vision and strategy, help to execute it flawlessly.
2) Win: Your boss wins, you have to be a team player to support your boss’ goals, working well with your peers and his/her peers to make your boss’s team successful.
3) Win: Your people win! Provide leadership, build trust and give credits to your people, you need to enable them to win as a team

Of course, you help all three parties win legally and also never compromise your personal integrity and value. When all three parties win, you will win the war of the successful career and will be proud of your career decisions and actions.

Let me know what your thoughts using comments.

Elizabeth Xu

Your are too Serious!

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Xu) — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 18:58:00 +0000

John came to me at noon time. He opened our meeting with serious business topics talking professionally about projects and resources. After our discussion, he relaxed and smiled at me: “Elizabeth, would you please give me some feedback?”

I smiled back at John, “I would like to pass on feedback I once received from one of my mentors.”

Harry, the Executive Chairman I worked for, had a productive meeting about software global resource strategy with me. At end of the meeting, I asked for his feedback. Harry looked at me with a serious face: “Elizabeth, you are too serious, and you are too scary!” Then he laughed.

What an astonishing remark! I was too serious and too scary! I viewed myself as a nice, flexible and resourceful professional. I knew for fact that I was not outwardly humorous. However, I was not boring either! What could I do to correct that impression?

Solutions appeared. A few days later, my husband came home with a tip on effective communication with executives. He picked this up from his SVP, Mark, at a manager’s meeting at Cisco. Mark demanded answers to these three questions at all his meetings:

1) What are you trying to tell me?
2) What do you want me to do?
3) How do you want me to feel?

Question number three never crossed my mind. I assumed that executives are super beings, with superior business acumen and judgment. I never assumed that their feelings were in the equation!

When we brief senior executives with facts and problems, we set the stage for solutions, prepare the senior executive to make decisions and let him know what you wish him to do.
However seldom, do we consider how we want our executive to feel.

We forget executives hold stressful jobs and they hear problems with and without solutions constantly throughout the day. They are people too. They have feelings and their feelings influence their decisions. We sometimes pass on our amplified stress at the end of a long day without thinking explicitly about how they will feel.

Once I started treating executives as human beings, respecting their time and feelings while providing suggested solutions with problems presented, I am no longer that super goal-oriented, laser-focused, scary and deadly serious person.

Now, when I talk to my teams, I asked the same three questions. Especially the 3rd one, how do you want your team to feel?

Elizabeth Xu
Register Stanford Class at: https://continuingstudies.stanford.edu/courses/course.php?cid=20111_WSP+229

Elizabeth and Pat teaching at Stanford

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Xu) — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 00:27:00 +0000

WSP 229 Registration at Stanford University starts on Aug 22, 2011

Here is the link

https://continuingstudies.stanford.edu/courses/course.php?cid=20111_WSP+229

Stanford Class WSP 229: Ten Steps to a Successful Career:

Elizabeth Xu and her mentor of 20+ years Ms. Pat Zimmerman, Jefferson Award and the Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis Award winner, (bio at: http://www.blogger.com/profile/12719189363354248427) will co-teach this class at Stanford. We will provide you with tools and practical steps to help you build a solid successful career. We will help you go through a paradigm shift in how you see yourself and how you approach your career and life. We will help you to discover your burning desire and goals, and help you to build attitude and plans to realize these goals, build a sound professional brand and broad network and support system.

WSP 229 Course Description:

Your career development has become your own responsibility in this ever-changing talent market. Global corporations are no longer providing in-depth career development programs. Instead, they are recruiting talent from each other. In this course, you will learn how to build a successful career across multiple companies and industries, achieving your goals and advancing your position in this super competitive global talent war.

The course provides you with ten systematic steps extracted from great leaders in the industry. These actionable steps will assist in refining your career vision—building realistic goals, developing feasible plans, and executing them flawlessly. We will also discuss how to create an effective professional brand and network, how to collaborate and influence, as well as how to build and lead a successful team. These ten steps will help you to develop a heightened business understanding and refine important leadership skills. This course is designed for professionals and entrepreneurs who want to grow as leaders and bring themselves and their organizations to the next level.

Oct 29: We will go over the first 5 steps to the successful career

Nov 6, We will go over the last 5 steps to the successful career

Life long learning

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Xu) — Tue, 31 May 2011 06:59:00 +0000

When you stop learning, you start dying.

Pat Zimmerman

Three Bodies of Knowledge

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Xu) — Tue, 10 May 2011 05:50:00 +0000

It has been at least seven years since I last met Wayne in person. Seven years of time washed away many sandy grinds between us and left only sparkling gold.

I could not help to thank Wayne for one of my most important career paradigm shifts. Without his advice, I could not grow from a first line manager to a director. Wayne looked at me with his signature smile, “Let me tell you my version of the story .” My heart was racing; did I remember our meeting total differently?

Wayne was an architect at a large software company 20 years ago. He once talked to a Sr. VP and his mentor at this large company.

His mentor said:

“Wayne, there are three bodies of knowledge for each person:

1. The knowledge you are aware of, and you know it very well and apply it in your life daily

2. The knowledge that you are aware of, but you don’t know it well because you have no interest, desire or capability to acquire it

3. The knowledge that you are not aware of, you never knew such knowledge existed. You will go through an important career breakthrough when you become aware of such knowledge and start to learn and apply them to your daily life”

Newly found knowledge liberates your thinking and provides you with a new frame of reference. You will enter a new paradigm where you will find new interpretations about relationships and events based on this new frame of reference.

The journey to maturity is to discover the 3rd body of knowledge continuously. We are expert in the first body of the knowledge. We make conscientious decisions not to pursue the 2nd body of knowledge when we become aware of our interests and limitations. We have to be secure and open-minded to uncover the 3rd body of knowledge.

Being secure and open-minded is easy to say but not easy to do. At the beginning of our career, we desperately try to prove ourselves to our senior leaders. We lose opportunities to have a paradigm shift conversation like the one between Wayne and his Sr. VP.

Next time, when you have an opportunity, listen and learn instead of trying to sell yourself to the Sr. leaders in your organization. Practice your newly found knowledge and you will be led to a new path that takes your breath away.

Elizabeth Xu

Decisions vs. Choices

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Xu) — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 06:57:00 +0000

We either leisurely or are forced to make decisions or choices each day. Each decision or choice points to a different path, defines our future and influences people around us, subtlety or profoundly.

Using programming language, life presents us with sets after sets of “if else" statements. We could very well come from the same place in our lives (i.e. classmates from the same school). Each outcome of the “if else” sets us apart. Over a long period of time , we become vastly different people. Therefore, some of us become restless when it is time to make decisions, others are afraid of the consequences of their choices.

Recently, I had an enlightening conversation with Dan Pritchett, EBay Fellow and CTO of Rearden Commerce. He was the first person ever who clearly separated decisions and choices for me. He said, “Choices are made based on pure facts, based on adequate supportive information; it is a purely analytical result. Decisions are made based on partial facts, partial experience and a lot of intuition and intellect. Making a decision without adequate facts requires judgment and leadership.” Dan applies his theory at work where he trains his team to choose well and to make conscious decisions.

Dan’s theory explains why many people have a hard time making choices or decisions. Ironically when enough facts present the obvious choice, emotional factors frequently jump in and polarize that very obvious choice. On the other hand, when information is limited, principle, guts and intuition should and must rise to drive the decision. Often people opt to look for facts which might take a long time to obtain or even impossible to get. This situation imposes a huge cost of opportunities. Using Dan’s principle, leaders must know when to decide and when to choose, and then the rest is easy.

During my son’s last ski break, Lake Tahoe was buried in snow. We stayed inside for two days. Were we bored? Not at all. We looked forward to the evening Jeopardy show between Watson and the two best human Jeopardy champions. My 9 and 12 year old sons talked about Watson all day long. They guessed who would win and bet on the outcome. As you may know, Watson, the IBM analytical software running on IBM super computers defeated the two best human Jeopardy champions, a major milestone of computer analytics and artificial intelligence advancement.

Watson reminded me my early years (1996-2000) at IBM. It reminded me of my trips to Watson Research Lab, we worked days and nights and delivered the first commercialized Digital Watermark, Cryptolope (encrypted envelope for secure content delivery) and Video Charger (video streaming over Internet) products. These products were many years too advanced to gain massive market adoption. Watson also reminded me of the analytical engine and Business Operation Intelligent product my teams built at Vitria three years ago, which helped business professionals understand the meaning of the data ocean, search for patterns and boil down to a few relevant supporting data to help them to gain insights and make better, quicker choices and decisions.

If you watched the Jeopardy show, you should have noticed that Watson made choices based on facts and data. When its data didn’t present a dominate choice, he skipped that question. Yes, Watson could not make decisions when data was not sufficient. Watson could not raise meaningful questions on its own; it could choose questions from the list on the screen. Watson is indeed a computer; Watson is a piece of advanced analytical software, Watson can only make choices but not decisions.

My young boys were not ready to accept the defeat. They argued and decided that humans have the advantage of curiosity, creativity, intuition and passion over machines. I could not agree more. When a group of the right people get together, sparks of creativity and synergy can help them go far beyond an array of machines. "Sparks" would destroy any super computers! My sons cheered on our way back home with relief, because they suddenly realized that Watson was created by humans. The two best champions were defeated by a group of scientists who are excellent in building an analytical engine, acquiring relevant data to make better and faster choices.

Is Watson way too advanced just like the products I built in late 90s? Is Watson ready to become your personal assistant, presenting you with the right amount of relevant data at the right time, helping you to make either decisions or choices better and faster?

Dan has the answer. He is not only teaching his team to make decisions or choices, he is leading his team to build such an engine to help you and me make sound choices and decisions faster. In the near future, you may have “Watson”, the smart personal assistant by your side, but it may not come from IBM Watson Research Lab, it comes from Dan’s team at Rearden Commerce.

Elizabeth Xu

Experience

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Xu) — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 20:14:00 +0000

My long lost friend May called me out of the blue yesterday. Three minutes into the conversation, we talked about life. Life is made up of events. Although individual events seem accidental, woven together they form relationships and experiences which impact how you feel about yourself. In that sense, nothing is accidental. Everything intertwines impacting your future life, ultimately creating your present and future life experiences. May joked that there are two types of people in the world. One type creates stories and the other listens to stories. Story creators are full of surprises and new initiatives, their life experience is exciting. Listeners get excited just observing them, wanting to be included in these stories.

At lunch time, I was five minutes early and while waiting for my friend I noticed a table with four ladies talking and laughing. What a happy table! I could not help notice that one lady was radiant with happiness and excitement. That made her so beautiful and attractive. She was the story creator naturally drawing her friends to her. She smiled and talked to the waiter. The waiter walked away with contented smiles. I was no longer bored waiting.

I thought to myself, "Will I have a boring or a marvelous lunch?" I smiled to myself. Indeed I had a great lunch with my dear friend who just came back from Singapore. She is also a wonderful story creator.

Are you a story creator? Are you going to derive more satisfaction, contentment, excitement and enjoyment from your daily existence?

Are you a genuine story listener? Are you going to participate and be part of other people’s stories? Are you going to influence and help them to create a even more exciting story with a happy ending?

What’s your holiday story? Are you going to decorate your house and smell the real Christmas tree in your living room? Are you going to write a few words to people you care about, people you love?

Life is your own experience and you are the creator of your own stories. I am sure that your story is exciting.

Happy Holidays!

Best wishes to you and your family. Have a wonderful 2011.

Elizabeth Xu

Innovation and Process

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Xu) — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 05:48:00 +0000

Many people would say I am a process junky because of my extensive experience at IBM DB2, and many years of practicing sophisticated software development processes to build large scale mission critical enterprise software. The perception from people who don’t know me well is their perfect reality. Indeed, Elizabeth is a process junky on paper from afar.

People who know me well see a different Elizabeth, who has a passion for innovation. Research, innovation and creativity inspire me, and fuel me through many “boring” days and activities. Without innovation, one would never paint the most moving scenes and objects; one could never build killer apps. Without innovation, the iPhone would never reach our palms.

Well, can we build an iPhone without any process? Despite the many birth defects the iPhone IV born with, it went through very strict processes to achieve such consistency, friendly user interface and it is a piece of art.

When I go to an empty parking lot, I can zigzag whatever way I want. I can be as creative and I can drive as slow or fast as I wish. When a few more cars appear on the parking lot however, I have to be less creative in my driving pattern and, follow the parking lot rules to avoid an accident. When I drive on 101 along with others at 65 mph, I have to follow the traffic rules and speed. However, my mind can be as creative as I wish. My car can be decorated and equipped with creative colors and gadgets no matter where and when I drive.

When we are alone, facing an empty parking lot, a piece of fresh canvas, or a new MS file, let our imagination and creativity fly. When we are facing a half filled parking lot, a half filled canvas, or a half page essay; rules, theme, and consistency have to work with our creativity to complete our creative painting, touching essay or drivng safety.

When we are on a high speed highway, when our peers are all working at 65 mph, to construct sophisticated critical missions, rules and processes have to be there to ensure high speed parallel driving and avoid fatal crashes. Processes ensure that everyone can be as innovative as they can in their creative mind, the whole team can move at 65 mph without crashing into each other.

Processes can be innovation killers if the goal is all about orders and rules, Processes can stimulate team creativity and enhance team productivity when our goal is to build the most innovative products that solve customers’ problems and they love to use. The key differentiator is whether the leader of the team knows how to fuel creativity and enforce rules and processes at the same time.

Elizabeth Xu

Collaboration and Leadership

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Xu) — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 14:47:00 +0000

The first time I really heard the word of the “Collaboration” was in 1998 when I still worked at IBM. One of the Sr. VPs spoke to us about the difference between the 20th and 21st centuries. He referred to the 20th century as the century of super heroes, who either destroyed or saved the world, companies and communities. Due to the vast amount of information and accelerated rate of information addition and exchanging, it would be impossible for one person to digest the vast amount of information and provide penetrating messages beyond the noise of the ever growing information universe. Then the 21st century became the century of team collaboration, that groups of super heroes would work together, utilize their expertise and strength, process information that they could best understand, providing their expert strategy and methodology, flawlessly execute the team’s plan and reach the ultimate goal.

Since then, collaboration became popular as well as frequently abused, and it is rising fast to the top of the list of “not to use political vocabulary”. Some people used it as an excuse to avoid responsibility, and others used it to postpone making hard decisions. It was used as a place to hide behind fellow workers in case the project did not work out.

Note that I didn’t use Collaboration vs. Leadership as the title. In an effective organization, leadership and collaboration are best friends. They should appear hand in hand all the time. When new responsibility appears, usually it is tough and challenging, a real leader never use collaboration to shy away from these tough moments. Some call it the “MOT”, moment of the truth. A person is courageous enough to take on challenges and walk on churning political undercurrents, assuming responsibility, gathering the team’s input, making the tough decisions and leading the team forward.

Leading a team forward needs synergy. Synergy comes from inspiration and team collaboration. A rocket to the moon was inspired by the president, implemented by many highly skillful scientists, engineers and supporting teams, materials and parts around the world. Collaboration enables great endeavors and complex modern technology production. When three people are randomly drafted together, their goals and efforts are not aligned and skills are not complimentary to each other. Their efforts can actually be cancelled out, you would see “1+1+1 <3” or even “1+1+1<0”. When “1+1+1>3” happens, real collaboration is at work. When sparks of synergy turn into flaming fire, “1+1+1 >4.0 or more”!

A real leader makes tough calls and energizes teams around him/her via collaboration. Only ones who master the leadership as well as collaboration can accomplish many “impossible” missions with his/her teams.

Elizabeth Xu

August Book - Play like a man, win like a woman

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Xu) — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 14:25:00 +0000

Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman: What Men Know About Success that Women Need to Learn

By Gail Evans

If you want to learn how to win like a woman, this is not the right book.

It is about how to play like a man. "win like a woman" is a pink scarf to attract female readers.

a Nice small book to read, a lot of useful tips.

Enjoy.

Elizabeth Xu

That's not enough

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Xu) — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 06:46:00 +0000

My friend Suzy’s New Year party has been the one that everyone looks forward to each year, not only for the great food, but also for gathering with friends hard to meet. The party turns to magic and we laugh for hours. Suzy is a great business person, mom, wife and friend. We chat about life and our careers at her party. Suzy finds much wisdom among her friends and shares it with all of us. She recently visited a successful business woman in her late 70s. The lady shared the secret of her success.

“A person who thinks he is very capable, that’s not enough,
People around them must think he is capable. Well, that’s not enough,
His manager has to think he is capable, however, that is not enough either,
His manager must be capable;
Even his manager is capable, it is not enough, he must have great health. Without health and energy, it is not enough to be successful”

The take away from Suzy’s party is: Exercise for great health, work hard, demonstrate your skills and strength, follow a great leader and you will be successful.

Elizabeth Xu

March Recommanded Reading: Live A Thousand Years

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Xu) — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 06:26:00 +0000

Pat gave me this book when I visited her last month. This would be an excellent book for you if you want to live to your fullest potential. It presents a different perspective toward life, time, dream, gift, relationship and more...

Enjoy the enchanting story, my sons loves it.

The N Habits of Effective Time

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Xu) — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 17:04:00 +0000

*PKUAANC Career Development team proudly presents*

*Career Development Forum Series #3 – The N Habits of Effective Time
Management (Panel Discussion)*

We are way into 2010. After making all the new-year resolutions, do you
still find yourself asking, “Why am I so busy and yet have not accomplished
anything?” or “How can I use the minimum time to achieve the maximum
results?” or “What are some effective ways to manage my time?”

If you are wondering about such questions, we have some answers for you.
Come and join your fellow alumni and other friends at this interactive
panel. Our successful speakers will share with you some practical habits in
time management. You will also be able to make more friends and network with
other professionals.

*Event Details:*
Speakers

Elizabeth Xu, Managing Partner, Business Innovation Services, LLC

Haiyan Song, Vice President of Engineering, ArcSight

Larry Chang, Independent Consultant at Haier; Co-President at Ascend –
Northern California Chapter; retired VP of Finance and Administration at
Hewlett Packard

ModeratorYan Yang, AVP/Business Architect, Wells Fargo; Co-Director of
Career Development Team, PKUAANC
Date March 19, 2010 Friday 6:30-9:00 pm
Agenda 6:30 – 7:00 PM: Registration & Networking (light refreshments and
food will be provided)

7:00 – 8:30 PM: Panel Discussion

8:30 – 9:00 PM: Networking
LocationFenwick and West

801 California Street

Mountain View, CA 94041

RegistrationTo make our events sustainable, there is a nominal fee of $5 to
help cover a portion of the costs for the event, to be collected at
check-in. Due to limited seats, please use the following link to register by
3/18/2010
www.tinyurl.com/ycwnoej

Be Positive and Enjoy your Life

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Xu) — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 18:35:00 +0000

Many people complain about having no time for work or life. I suggest they keep a daily log of what they do with their time. Each person is unique in spending their time on different things, but they share one common theme. The more positive person has more time and control over his life. When you are truly in charge of your time, your mind is full of positive images and energy. No time is spent on negative thoughts, churning and idling, no sleepless nights.

Organizations share the same theme, negative activities waste time and negatively affect productivity and morale. That's why a negative leader can destroy the organization. A positive, result-oriented leader can drive the organization; unleash untapped positive energy channeling positive force in the right direction.

Be positive, get rid of internal mental friction, oil the gears in your mind and make your mind more efficient. You will be in control your time, your life and work.

Double Happiness

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Xu) — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 18:23:00 +0000

Happy Valentine’s Day and Chinese New Year!

祝您虎年吉祥如意，心想事成，合家欢乐!

Pat and Elizabeth

Power of Positive Thinking

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Xu) — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 00:22:00 +0000

Pat has recommended this book for over a year, Finally I got a copy from library. It is indeed the greatest inspirational classical reading. I hope you will find it helpful in 2010.

Hard Truth About Soft Skills

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Xu) — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 02:24:00 +0000

The Hard Truth About Soft Skills: Workplace Lessons Smart People Wish They'd Learned Sooner (Paperback)

Interesting book, a lot of tips and truth about corporate America culture. Easy reading.

Elizabeth Xu

Leaving a Legacy

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Xu) — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 15:42:00 +0000

When I first came to the States, I was very lucky to know Pat and Lou. They helped me tremendously during my first few years in the United States.

Lou was an extraordinary man, he was in his 80s when I met him in the early 1990s. Lou had taught at Stanford University, he also served as a Colonel in the US Air Force during World War II, Korea and Viet Nam. He was a great engineer and a successful business man. Lou devoted time and energy to mentoring and helping others throughout his life.

I asked Lou one day: "Why do you spend so much time helping me and other people you have never met before?” Lou smiled back: "I help you because I believe that you can be more successful with my help. I will not live that long to see your success, but it will become my legacy whether I see it or not.” Indeed, he didn’t live that long to see all the successes from the people he helped, but I certainly credit my successes to his legacy.

Many people like Lou help others unconditionally. I would like to share a poem written by another lady who lived her life fully and happily through her 90s. Her family printed this beautiful poem for her obituary.

Legacy

When I die, give what’s left to children,
If you need to cry, cry for others walking beside you.
Put your arm around anyone,
Give them what you need to give me.
I want to leave you with something
Something better than words and sounds,
Look for me in the people I have known and loved
If you cannot live without me,
Let me live on in your eyes,
Your mind and your acts of kindness
The body dies and love does not
So, when all what’s left is love, please give me away!

We all received a lot from people like Lou. Let's thank them during the holiday time. They helped us to build our success, let's help them to build their ever lasting legacy.

Elizabeth Xu

Love Yourself

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Xu) — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 13:58:00 +0000

Many people ask me how I motivate myself. I respond, "How do you motivate others? Are you positive or critical?"

Pat and I have talked about this topic many times. This morning, Pat just said in a very point blank way: “You need to love yourself!” Many high-achievers are extremely critical of themselves. They frequently beat themselves up for the most minor mishaps. They never feel they have done enough to make themselves and their families proud.

Being introspective is not a bad thing, indeed, it helps you avoid being aloof and keeps you working harder towards your goals. Being overly critical of yourself however, plays an opposite role when you start to blame yourself for every unfortunate event in your life. It becomes a heavy load that drags you deeper and deeper into a sea of hopelessness and despair. You may spend all your efforts fighting the darkness and end up drowning in depression.

Depression kills your spirit, creativity and dreams. Life without dreams and hope is like living in Azkanban. Over time, you turn into a dementor, sucking hope and joy out of the people around you. Love yourself if you want to be the source of happiness, courage and inspiration.

How do overly critical high-achievers learn to love yourself and get out the dark and cold Azkanban? Write down your accomplishments and happy moments. Read them every morning when you get up. Look into mirror and smile at the image looking back. Look at the positive side of each event during the day. Stop and smell the roses...meaning enjoy the small positive things around you. By the end of the day, share your roses instead of thorns with your friends and family. Reward yourself as you accomplish your goals, celebrate with your friends and family, share your happiness with people you love. They will be sincerely happy for you.

As we travel life's long journey experiencing success and failures, we all need someone who will give us unconditional love. That person should be yourself first. Instead of being our own worst enemy, we need to be our own best friend and biggest supporter. Love yourself unconditionally, dream about your bright future, exude positive energy, light up a room when you walk in, brighten a conversation when you join a group, put laughter on the dinner table, smile at happy events, laugh at dismal events.

As Pat said, “Love yourself!” Always be there for yourself supporting yourself unconditionally, live to your fullest potential and have fun!

Elizabeth Xu

Where Is the Ceiling?

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Xu) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 17:35:00 +0000

Recently, I spoke to the Association of Woman in Science (AWIS), a group of highly intelligent professional women. To my surprise, one member asked the question about glass ceiling that I didn't expect from this group of highly accomplished women. The young lady, a Ph.D. Student at Stanford asked me what I think about it and how I broke it.

Some very accomplished women were raised by their families that they were less important than their brothers. They carry that concept with them, and accept unfair treatment and blame their gender for all their lost opportunities. Gradually, they fail to pursue their opportunities aggressively and eventually lose their drive to compete with men. Over the time, their glass ceiling becomes a concrete ceiling or a steel ceiling, totally blocking their vision, drive and opportunity of career advancement. They live with the resentment and bitterness of not having equal opportunities.

My answer has always been, "The whatever ceiling first resides in your mind, then in the reality. To break the ceiling of any kind, you have to remove it from your own mind first, then you will have a chance to penetrate it by your intelligence and hard work.

My father once told me,"Girls and boys are equal, except that girls can wear pretty dresses." I carry that advice with me always. It gives me confidence whenever I fell less than equal to my male colleagues.
Elizabeth Xu

October Reading

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Xu) — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 15:36:00 +0000

What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful (Hardcover)
by Marshall Goldsmith (Author), Mark Reiter (Author)

This book helps you to identify gaps between managers and executives, a easy reading. Enjoy.

Proactive vs. Defensive Visibility vs. Excuses

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Xu) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 15:07:00 +0000

My friend is an accomplished professional. She constantly deals with big clients. Recently, she worked on a complex business negotiation with her company's largest client. The client was very skillful in applying various negotiation skills including changing positions, escalating and blaming her for delays, renegotiating terms back and forth.

She struggled through the long and unpleasant negotiation process. Finally, every party was satisfied and the deal was made. But she felt bruised inside and out.

When we went to lunch to celebrate the success, she questioned if could she do better given the same case again in the future. "What's the most troublesome issue you faced?" I asked my puzzled friend. She lamented, "Communications with the client, internal business partners and my boss. Everything became convoluted, the client's negotiation techniques mixed with their hidden agenda. I was accused of being the defensive and making many excuses. Some information was true for a brief moment, then became false because of ever changing terms and conditions."

I was amazed, my friend isn't the type to be defensive and full of excuses, she is humble and responsible.

"There are two pairs of concepts, paradoxes: Proactive vs. Defensive and Visibility vs. Excuses. Both can be used to describe the same action and same information, due to different timing", I said. "What do you mean?" She asked. "Let's assume that you have some key information that is critical to either your boss or your business partner in dealing with your client during the negotiation. If you presented it to your relevant partners before the negotiation, your information become instrumental in winning the negotiation, you will be viewed as proactive and giving the right amount of visibility. If you did not pres ent the critical information beforehand, but after the fact, you could be blamed for acting defensively and full of excuses. It is all about timing in this ever changing world, a piece of critical information presented at the right time can win your company an important deal."