Leadership Tangles Blog

When Leaders Struggle with Complex Challenges--Qualifications Matter

Marcia Ruben — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 22:20:00 GMT

When you have a toothache, would you consult a car mechanic who took a year-long, part-time course in dentistry, even if you felt he had a knack for it? If your child has a high fever and hacking cough, would you take him or her to your neighbor for treatment, one who has two children of her own, and works as an accountant? Probably not.

In these cases, you would most likely seek out a professional with credible educational training, background, and evidence of mastery in diagnosing and treating your specific issue. Your decision would be based in common sense and an understanding that health issues are complex and require expert care.

Minimal Professional Standards

Yet in the business and coaching world, where the leadership dynamics intertwined with cultural, team, interpersonal, and tough business realities make issues especially complex, there is a lack of real professional standards and barriers to entry are minimal.

Recently, the New York Times ran an article by Spencer Morgan about a 27 year old woman working as a life coach. She attended a life coach certification program and now has a successful business.

There were over 200 passionate comments posted by readers. One group felt strongly that age and credentials do not determine coaching competency. A second group asserted that the work described could be done by a good friend--why pay someone when you have caring friends who listen and challenge you? A third group passionately argued that some areas of human behavior and some challenges are complex enough that quality control is necessary. These readers passionately argued that having formal, credible knowledge, experience, and training are essential. I agree with the third group, especially when the issues are complex, for example, an executive leadership team with a new leader who must turn around the business and is faced with resistance, and/or the stakes are high; for example when a technically brilliant founder is unable to forge a necessary and collaborative relationship with a new CEO or the integration of two corporate cultures gets bogged down in petty rivalries.

In my field of organization and executive leadership development, many educated in the hard sciences or business claim to be organization development consultants and coaches. Others with formal backgrounds, education, and years of experience in marketing, accounting, public relations or communications claim to be experts in leadership and human behavior. The standards for entry appear low and anyone, sometimes with a flair for hype, can claim to be an expert.

Morgan, in the New York Times article, described life coaching as a process of asking good questions and holding people accountable. To some extent, I agree that this is part of the necessary skill set to be a good “coach.” It is not all that is required.

Consider some of the toughest organizational and leadership challenges:

Creating a collaborative environment when hidden agendas, power plays, and “us versus them” attitudes prevail
Navigating tough organizational changes
Inspiring a team that has to do more with less to stay focused and motivated in a volatile and uncertain environment
Leading tricky merger integrations
Smoothing out ugly personal dynamics on an all-star leadership team

Merger integrations and strategic change efforts often fail because leaders don’t hire the right help. Leadership development efforts fail for the same reasons. So what is the difference between saying you are a coach and actually being an effective executive leadership coach?

Knowledge Guides Good Questions

A few years back, I enjoyed watching the HBO show, In Treatment. Dr. Paul Weston a psychotherapist, played by Gabriel Byrne is an excellent therapist who is also in therapy himself, with Gina, played by Dianne Wiest. In one of Paul’s sessions with Gina, Paul believes he has failed as a husband and father and wonders how he can effectively help others. Gina replies that being a parent or husband is very different than being a trained observer of human behavior. They require different skills. Gina reminds Paul, that as a therapist, he has spent years learning his craft. He is formally schooled in the behavioral sciences. He is trained to make observations, ask insightful questions based on his knowledge, make interpretations, and encourage others to look at their patterns of behavior. He draws on a body of empirical knowledge about human behavior to guide his thinking and the questions that he asks.

Being a Parent is not enough to Qualify to be a Child Development Expert

By successfully managing others, individuals absolutely learn about leadership and human dynamics. Being a spouse, one learns about relationships. Being a parent, one learns something about early childhood development. However, these experiences alone are not enough to become an expert in the fields of leadership development, marital counseling, and/or child development.

Being an Executive Requires Different Skills than being an Executive Coach

When you hire an executive leadership coach to help you navigate tough organizational changes, tricky merger integrations, or to smooth out rough dynamics in your leadership team, it is crucial that you check the consultant’s credentials and experience. Someone with education, years of experience, and background in finance, or accounting, or engineering is not an expert in human dynamics. An individual who has been a CEO may not have knowledge or training in adult learning and development or a deep understanding of relevant psychological theories and concepts. Those with training and business experience in finance or sales are not experts in the nuances of leadership and human behavior. The field of leadership and organizational behavior is a specialized discipline.

What are Good Qualifications?

Again, I agree with the third group, who say that business experience, knowledge, and acumen are a must to be an effective executive coach. Knowledge of human and adult development, adult learning theory, organizational systems are critical. I also agree with Paul’s therapist from In Treatment that it takes years to learn and master any professional craft. And finally, I concur that an executive leadership coach must have a vested interest in ongoing personal learning and growth.

The Executive Coaching Forum has what I consider to be a comprehensive and credible list of executive coach competencies, which include a broad range of business, coaching, organizational, and psychological aspects. I recommend reviewing this when considering hiring an executive leadership adviser or coach.

While it might cost less to hire a quasi-expert or seem intriguing to be taken in by charismatic hype, it will cost more in time and money to clean up the mess.

Backbiting, Leadership Tangles, and the State of the Union

Marcia Ruben — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 01:37:00 GMT

Last night during his State of the Union address, President Obama spoke about the special forces who worked as a team to "take out" Osama Bin Laden. His point was that every member of the team was singly focused on successfully completing their dangerous mission. They relied on each other for communication, air cover, and support. When one of the rescue helicopters crashed, they didn't stop and point fingers and blame each other. They covered for each other. They helped each other up the stairs and made sure that every one got out alive. Every member of the team operated with mutual trust.

The behavior he described was diametrically opposed to the way our current Federal government is operating. It is also starkly different from behavior I have observed in many corporations. In fact, the more egos, power plays, backbiting, and hidden agendas, the more likely you are to find leadership tangles--behavior that results in conflict rather than true collaboration.

As President Obama spoke, I thought about some of the research I had done for my doctoral dissertation. Karl Weick and Charlene Roberts described the "collective mind." Their research suggests that when the stakes are high, for instance on an aircraft carrier or nuclear plant, individuals forego their own egos and need for power, and find ways to support each other. There is but one mind.

In my consulting and executive leadership coaching practice, I often find that one of the symptoms of a sub-optimized, or dysfunctional team is backbiting. Individuals break off in to subgroups and talk viciously about each other behind their backs. At the first chance, they may throw each other under the proverbial bus.

Those who are the recipients of backbiting sense the negativity and lack of trust. They often choose to withdraw or fight back. Either way, it is not healthy for the team. One of the solutions that I have found works best is to convence the team, share the feedback about their behavior in a way that is objective and confidential. I then facilitate a process to develop new, more productive norms. Instead of backbiting, address any issues directly with the person with whom you have the issue. If someone comes to you and starts to gossip, send them directly to the person with whom they have the issue. This takes some practice. With time, the backbiting can subside. And leadership tangles start to loosen and not choke the team.

If your team performance is being undermined by backbiting and other nonproductive norms, contact me for a 15 minute consultation.

Three Tips for Executive Team Effectiveness

Marcia Ruben — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 17:22:00 GMT

Nothing tangles potential organizational effectiveness than a top leadership team mired in unproductive interpersonal dynamics. These manifest as turf wars, political battles, and hidden agendas. The result is a lack of honesty and an inability to raise tough issues. Bad feelings between two key functional leaders trickle down to the rest of the organization. I once worked with a team in which two senior leaders had a visceral dislike of each other. Direct reports two to three levels down felt the tension, and were in turn mistrustful of each other. The result? Gridlock.

In the course of my work as an executive leadership facilitator and coach, and as an adjunct MBA Professor, it is obvious that human dynamics are complex and often messy. Here are three tips that can help executive teams be more effective.

Acknowledge Power Dynamics

Whether we admit it or not, power is an integral part of human and organizational life. Professor Jeffrey Pfeffer makes a compelling case for acknowledging both the positive and destructive aspects of personal power. Fight it as we may, power is part of the equation. My own research suggests that in the midst of emotionally charged situations, how we view our own power vis a vis others influences how we respond. If we feel powerless and think others are powerful, we are likely to take actions that tangle the relationship. We probably won't state how we really feel, nor will we raise a controversial issue. On the other hand, if we feel powerful and perceive others as equally powerful, we are more likely to raise issues and speak the truth. Awareness of our own level of personal power can make a huge difference in team effectiveness.

Model Skills in Having Difficult Conversations

Most of us have not learned how to productively and diplomatically raise tough issues. We are afraid of ruffling feathers or worse, destroying important relationships. So we say nothing. Bad feelings fester and soon the air is so thick with tension, we either avoid each other or stick to superficial conversation. It is worth learning skills in raising difficult issues. I have found the skills modeled in Stone, Patton, and Heen's work easy to follow and extremely effective. I have used this model with executive coaching clients, executive teams, and with my MBA students, all with phenomenal results. Leaders who can model these skills provide a roadmap for others to emulate.

Expect Civil Behavior

The latest issue of the Harvard Business Review has a fascinating article about a consulting firm with impressive retention rates. The firm leaders attribute their retention success to a maniacal focus on hiring only those with a proven track record of civility. Hiring managers don't just rely on initial reference checks. They use their networks to uncover trails of bad behavior.

I once worked for a global human resource development company that had a robust selection training process. One of the critical components of an effective selection process is knowing the culture needed to execute on your strategy, and then hiring key talent who possess both critical functional skills and who are a good cultural fit. One bad apple does spoil the bunch. Over and over, I have been brought in to companies whose leaders have tolerated bad behavior and are stuck when poisonous dynamics threaten productivity. Better to expect civil behavior and implement consequences for those whose behavior sabotages the success of others.

If you would like to improve your team effectivness, contact me for a complimentary 15 minute consultation.

Untangle Leadership Team Knots Through an Extraordinary Game

Marcia Ruben — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 16:51:00 GMT

Think of a leadership team as a web of interconnected relationships. Mix in clashing egos, hidden agendas, and lack of trust. Agitate with different personality and thinking styles. Sprinkle in unproductive norms, power plays, and cultural and gender differences. Throw in a propensity to blame. Complicate matters with a complex business challenge--you know the kind--a frightening new competitor that threatens to eat your lunch, declining market share, a scarcity of cash to invest in needed resources--the kind of challenge that only this team can solve. The problem is, this team is mired in what I call a Strangling Team TangleTM. In almost every tangle, and I have named nearly two dozen distinct tangles, you experience unproductive working relationships, snarled lines of communication, and fuzzy lines of authority. Emotions run high and there is plenty of conflict, blame, and “us versus them” thinking and behavior. Sound familiar?

As a Tangle DoctorTM, I am always on the lookout for innovative tools and methods to untangle team knots. Last week, I was in Raleigh-Durham North Carolina and had the opportunity to be certified in Team Advantage--a comprehensive and fun process that unleashes the strengths of a team while at the same time achieving extraordinary results.

Team Effectiveness and Strategic Planning on Steroids

One of the certification trainers called the process "team building and strategic planning on steroids." The process is intense and only for leadership teams that want to untangle the knots that keep them from exceptional performance. If you are happy chugging along with mediocre results and dysfunctional relationships, this process is not for you!

If you want to engage in a process that results in exceptional results and healthy, productive, respectful team relationships, this program will pay for itself. It requires commitment and courage.

The Team Advantage Process

The process, developed by Master Coach DJ Mitsch, is facilitated by two expert level coach/facilitators. The program starts with two months of individual coaching for the team leader. The process is framed as a game as a way to up the ante and create a sense of fun, excitement and to get the competitive juices flowing.

The Game is framed as a four-month stretch goal that under usual circumstances might not seem possible. It becomes a game because it is scored, has a clear strategy, a clear plan, a scoreboard and each step in the plan has a score attached to it. Just like other team sports, it is a game because there is ongoing coaching from the sidelines. All of these elements encourage the team to work together to get things done.

The team process begins with a two-day, in-person kickoff workshop to create effective rules of engagement, expose the hidden tangles that strangle performance, and create and agree to new and productive norms. The team then agrees on their extraordinary goal. We create a name for the game and a scoring system. No one wins unless all points are scored. We create action steps to handle inevitable obstacles. The team leader agrees to a prize, anything from a homemade cookout to a trip to a fancy resort.

For the next four months, your team coaches facilitate 12 coaching calls to ensure that the game is running smoothly. They provide coaching on how to work through obstacles, untangle interpersonal knots, and keep the team leader and team on track. The focus is both on reaching the strategic goal and personal and team development along the way. At the end of the game, both the team leader and team have the skills, knowledge, and confidence to replicate their results.

Be the First in the San Francisco Bay Area

Right now, I am pleased to be the first and only San Francisco Bay Area executive coach/facilitator to offer this innovative team coaching/building process. I would welcome the opportunity to partner with you and a highly motivated team, in conjunction with one of my highly skilled and esteemed Team Advantage partners, to bring the power of this process to your organization.

Click on the link below for a complimentary consultation. I look forward to exploring how an innovative game, customized to meet your most strategic goals, can help you and your team scale new heights.

Leadership Wisdom for Executive Leaders--No Excuses--Tip #3

Marcia Ruben — Mon, 16 May 2011 18:27:00 GMT

It is so easy to make excuses when things don't turn out as you planned. How often are you tempted to point the finger of blame? As an executive leadership coach, I have worked with leaders who have gotten in the bad habit of blaming others and are surprised when they don't get the results that they want.

Star leaders never give or listen to excuses. They want results from themselves and others. They hold themselves accountable for their own results, and expect others to do the same. And rather than assign blame, they try to constructively figure out what went wrong and move forward.

There is power in committing to a result or outcome and being willing to do whatever it takes to achieve that outcome. I have found that just the act of committing and being willing to do whatever it takes results in something akin to divine providence. Resources and people fall in to place.

Leaders who are not stars can list all of the reasons that something can't be done. Have you ever been in a meeting when a bold idea is proposed and then instantly shot down?

How can you overcome the excuse trap?

The first step is to recognize whether you have a victim or accountable mindset. If you have excuses running in your head, you likely have a victim mindset. If you typically say to yourself, "okay, this is tough and I/we can do it" you have an accountable mindset.

When you face a tough challenge, take a deep breath, search your brain for evidence of past success, and commit. Star leaders exude a sense of confidence that is contagious.

Leadership Wisdom for Executive Leaders—Tip #2

Marcia Ruben — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 16:16:00 GMT

Star leaders give willingly without a price tag attached to what they are giving. They operate from a “full cup” mentality. Their cup is full and they don’t need to take from others to fill it up. There is no price tag attached to their requests.

I know some of you are thinking, wait, Tangle Doctor^TM, you don’t understand organizational politics. Actually I do. Successful leaders are politically savvy. That means that they know how to get things done through others without creating a lot of noise in the system. Those who are politically astute have excellent interpersonal skills and are able to inspire genuine trust and confidence. They are able to influence others in a way that they don’t feel used.

Those who are not leadership stars put a price tag on what they have to offer. They will do something for others provided that others do something for them. There is always a price tag. While this is the official view of politics, and works in some instances, it also stirs up resentment. While it may work sometimes, in the long-run, it is not a winning strategy.

So what is the solution? First, observe your own behavior. Are you willing to give others ideas, information, and helpful advice without always expecting something in return? Or, will you only provide ideas, information, and helpful advice if you get something in return? Do you keep score?

To be a star leader, recognize that genuineness trumps manipulation.

Leadership Wisdom for Executive Leaders--Tip #1

Marcia Ruben — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 19:28:00 GMT

Leadership is both an inside and outside game. In this series of blogposts, I will share leadership wisdom I have gathered and found useful in my own leadership development and what I have observed in my work with executive leaders. As the Tangle Doctor^TM, it is my opinion that leaders who create productive, accountable cultures are better able to minimize Organizational Tangles^TM –unproductive working relationships, snarled lines of communication, and fuzzy lines of authority-- demonstrate the leadership qualities I will share in a series of blogposts.

Are you able to receive feedback?

The first tip is this. Leaders who create tangles are unable to receive feedback. There are a variety of reasons for this. The first is arrogance and occurs in a leader who thinks that he/she already knows everything. Arrogant leaders push others away. Those brave enough to receive feedback are yelled at, berated, or ignored. A second reason is oversensitivity. I have met some leaders who just don’t want to be criticized at all. It becomes clear that any well-intentioned feedback is unwelcome. A third reason is a lack of respect for others in less senior positions.

No matter what the reason, those unwilling to receive feedback deny themselves valuable information. Leaders who recognize that they don’t have all the answers give others a voice and therefore receive otherwise unavailable information.

Give others a voice, not a vote

There is an important distinction here. Just because you are a leader who is willing to receive feedback does not mean that everyone receives a vote. The most effective leaders I know give others a voice and are clear when they are and are not giving others a vote.

What could an executive leadership coach tell Japan's Naoto Kan?

Marcia Ruben — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 17:38:00 GMT

According to John Brinsley, from Bloomberg News, "Three days ago, Prime Minister Naoto Kan was fighting for his political life. Now, the success of his government may hinge on how he responds to what he calls Japan’s biggest crisis since the end of World War II."

Kan was in the midst of a political crisis when the earth began shaking in Japan. He was under fire for accepting a political donation. The spotlight is now off of his questionable political activities and on how he responds to this unfolding crisis. So far the reviews are mixed.

If I were his exectuive leadership coach, I would advise him to demonstrate courage and strength, while at the same time showing empathy and compassion. Leaders I have worked with and observed during times of crisis exude strength and confidence in the future. They also stay calm under pressure. It is an art to not react when there is so much volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity (VUCA). During a crisis some action is better than inaction. Decisiveness is also critical.

As the earth continues to tremble and shake and fumes spout from nuclear reactors, it is also going to be important to communicate honestly and often. More than anything people want the truth, even if it is bad news.

What advice would you give to Naoto Kan?

Why You Must Start Re-thinking the Way You Communicate Today

Marcia Ruben — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 19:44:00 GMT

Do you realize that every time you speak to peers, direct reports, and Board members, you have the opportunity to transform your relationship? Do you know that you can align your mind, brain, and conversations to create a more productive working relationship?

This past weekend, I participated in a workshop led by Dr. Barnett Pearce and Kim Pearce. I worked with Barnett while I was pursuing my doctorate. Barnett and Kim have devoted considerable time to developing a new field of communication. Traditionally, communication is defined as the transmission of a message from one person to another and back again. The Pearce’s broadened the definition and view it as a highly interactive process, linked to our mind, brain, and sensemaking process. Bottom line, we can be most effective if we focus on expanding our mind, noticing if our reptilian brain is controlling us, and are aware of the stories we tell ourselves and others.

Is your mind closed or expanded?

When I receive bad news, it is natural to narrow my focus. I become the center of my Universe and everything else diminishes in importance. When this happens, my mind is closed, or shut down. On the other hand, if I can step back and get some perspective, not winning a coveted consulting engagement or realizing that I have to stretch every morning to reduce aches and pains diminishes in the cosmic scheme of things. Recognizing that our lives are a gift and in the vast expanse of time and space, we are but a speck helps retain perspective and helps me open my mind.

What Part of Your Brain is controlling YOUR behavior?

The Pearce’s provided a lesson on how our brains operate, which I’ll share. Our reptilian brain controls our basic functions. It is responsible for automatic responses such as fight, flight, or freezing. Imagine a caveman confronted by a tiger. His reptilian brain jumps in to action, or inaction.

Our limbic brain controls our emotions and value judgments and strongly influences our behavior. So when the caveman was continually faced with danger, his mind narrowed and he became hard-wired to fight, flight, or freeze.

Our neocortex, the third part of our brain, is responsible for human language. According to neurobiologists, our brains can change, they have a plastic quality. According to Dan Siegel, a neurobiologist studying the mind/brain/social relationship phenomena, “what fires together, wires together.” This means we are not stuck with a narrow mind and reptilian brain!

How can you influence your neurons and states of mind?

Barnett and Kim Pearce, and other communication CMM (Coordinated Management of Meaning) gurus argue that we can influence the mind/brain/social relationship triangle, and get all three re-wired and firing in a way that transforms relationships by paying close attention to the patterns of our communication. Each time we speak we have a story and the other person has a story. Depending on how we each make sense of the conversation, we create the opportunity for different actions. The question to ask is this: are we creating positive and compassionate relationships that lead to positive actions or “us versus them” relationships that lead to negative actions, or what I call “tangles?

The choice is up to us in every moment and what Barnett describe as every turn in our conversations. Stay tuned for more.

VUCA Revisited –Volatility Rouses Fear

Marcia Ruben — Sat, 19 Feb 2011 00:28:00 GMT

I recently began teaching in the MBA program at Golden Gate University. Being a full time executive leadership consultant and part-time professor forces me to stay current with leadership research and weave that research into a pragmatic solution for clients and business school students.

I have been writing about the concept of VUCA since I began this blog. I was struck by how well VUCA—volatility, uncertainly, complexity, and ambiguity—describes the current business environment. I have argued that we are living in a time of unprecedented VUCA. I have even done research to identify leadership characteristics necessary to thrive in VUCA.

Here is a distinction that I believe will be helpful. Leaders have always had to cope with UCA—uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity. It has always been challenging to lead a department, division, business unit, or organization. Leaders have always operated with UCA—uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity.

What makes VUCA such a useful term today is that we are experiencing unprecedented volatility in our marketplace. While it feels like we are regaining some sense of stability, from what I have read, the underlying problems and goblins are still haunting our financial markets.

What makes living in a VUCA environment different than a UCA environment is one word—fear. When conditions are volatile, we tend to turn in, become conservative, and avoid risks. Negative emotions like fear restrict creativity, openness, and collaboration.

Leaders who thrive in VUCA are resilient and are able to remain calm, collected, and inspire confidence in others. Leadership success depends not on what the leader is doing, but who the leader is being during volatile conditions.

Are you a leader who thrives in VUCA?

Executive Leadership Tip for Thriving in VUCA and Accelerated Change

Marcia Ruben — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 19:37:00 GMT

Last Friday, I facilitated a panel discussion for Fountain Blue's When She Speaks Women in Leadership forum. Approximately 50 women and 3 men attended the discussion about how to thrive in times of accelerated change. Each of the four women on the panel holds a responsible leadership position in Cisco, EMC, IBM, and HP. I was struck by the high level of both technical and interpersonal expertise each demonstrated. I was also struck by the pressures facing each of them, and our audience members. All are challenged to cope under rapid changes in their marketplace and technology. For instance, the advent of the cloud is causing each company to think through their product mix. Companies that used to develop products internally are becoming much more aggressive in looking for start-ups with innovative technology to buy and integrate. Top down, hierarchical management is being replaced with collaborative management.

All of these changes require all employees and leaders to ensure that they are adding value, learning, and contributing. Yet, job security is a thing of the past. In times of VUCA, where there is unrelenting volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity, developing both an internal and external network is critical. Our networks keep us connected, provide friendship, and can also be a source of contacts when things change.

Bottom line, we are all still human. The best thing we can do for ourselves is monitor our own stress levels, breathe, and connect. Relationships matter more than ever!

Executive Leaders: Three Ways to Improve Your Approachability

Marcia Ruben — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 21:01:00 GMT

I've been a student of leadership and organizational behavior for a long time. In my own recent research, I found that a CEO who is open and approachable is much more likely to get learn about early warning signals, before they become bad news. This has been validated by research studies. Leaders who are agreeable and access the extraverted part of their personality are easier to approach. They are more likely to listen without judgment and not bite off the head of those who bring unpleasant news. They create a culture of openness that trickles down throughout the organization. In cultures of openness, individuals aren't afraid of speaking up.

Put Away Your SmartPhone

I once worked with someone who didn't look up from his email whenever anyone came in to his office. He was the boss. The message was--my electronics are more important than you or my conversation with you. It was very off putting.

Today, we are all glued to our smart phones. It drives my husband nuts when I spend any of our together time looking at my Blackberry. I have learned that I have a choice between my relationship and my phone.

I see the same thing in my consulting work. When a client is constantly on his or her phone, checking email, it is irritating. While we all think we are excellent multi-taskers, we are not. An approachable person is not glued to his or her smartphone.

Put People at Ease

If you are approachable, you put people at ease. You make eye contact, softening your eyes so that you are generating warmth. You initiate a conversation that demonstrates you are interested in others. I was a little shy as a young woman. I read somewhere that the way to be interesting was to be interested. I used my intense curiosity to my advantage. I asked questions to draw out others and found that this was a wonderful way to create a connection. I looked for things in common and built upon those.

Manage your NonVerbals

When you are stressed out, it shows. Those who are approachable are able to manage their stress. Take deep breaths and find a way to be in the present. They speak slowly. They practice active listening by nodding and demonstrating you are engaged in what the other person is saying. Those who are really good listeners create an open space that relaxes the other person and brings out their best. They act as if the other person is the most important person in the room. There is no shuffling of papers or glancing at a wristwatch.

Can approachability be learned? I believe that we all can modify and adapt our behavior. It takes strong desire, a willingness to be conscious of how we come across, and dedication to experimenting with new behaviors. Often, working with an executive coach can help.

Contact me for a complimentary consultation on how you can optimize your leadership style and create a high performing culture.

Why a Good Organizational Consultant Can Level the Playing Field

Marcia Ruben — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 19:28:00 GMT

One of my favorite things to do on Sundays is read the New York Times. I especially enjoy Adam Bryant's Corner Office. Yesterday was no exception. Adam interviewed Martha S. Samuelson, the President and CEO of the Analysis Group. Samuelson underscored a point that I consider central in my work as an organizational consultant. A skilled outside consultant can ask questions, solicit feedback, and offer feedback in a way that removes the power dynamics.

Unequal Power Equation

In boss/nonboss relationships, the power equation is not equal. A boss influences one's pay, promotional opportunities, assignments, and one's jobs. It takes a level of awareness, emotional intelligence, and clear intention for a leader to create an environment in which there are no retributions for speaking the truth, and as Samuelson points out, bringing problems and asking for advice.

In my experience, one of the key contributors to the creation of strangling tangles is the story we tell ourselves about what we should say or not say in conversations. When we view others as more powerful, we are not likely to tell the truth. On the other hand, when we can truly say, "I am powerful and competent and you are powerful and competent," that is the beginning of a good conversation.

How can an organizational consultant help?

As Samuelson observed, discussions facilitated by an outside person model a process for frank, honest conversations. I am a firm believer in not becoming what one of my teachers called a "heart and lung" machine for my clients. My goal is to teach clients to have honest, open conversations all the time, not just when I am around. When the stakes are high, though, I believe that a skilled organizational consultant can bring the heat down and help two people, a small group, or a team, address tough issues.

Make It Safe for Others to Give You Feedback

Samuelson internalized the feedback process that was modeled by her bosses early in her career. They hired an outside consultant to facilitate conversations. She learned early on that she played a part in the equation. Her bosses made it safe for her to speak freely. She also made it safe for them to offer her feedback. Feedback giving is a two-way street. And as Samuelson observed, when you make it safe for others to offer you feedback, they only want to help you more.

I coach clients to enter conversations feeling powerful and competent, and to view others in the same way. Often, I help facilitate these difficult conversations. Modeling the way, as a mentor, coach, helps level the playing field.

What challenging issues are you avoiding? Contact me for a complimentary consultation.

Three Lessons Executive Leaders Can Learn from the S. F. Giants

Marcia Ruben — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 17:03:00 GMT

Okay, I admit it. I am a fair weather San Francisco Giants fan. I tuned in to the team in the last weeks of the series as they began their championship playoffs. I found myself playing catch up, learning the names and stories of the players. All of a sudden I really cared. As the Giants came closer and closer to winning the World Series, a goal that eluded them for 56 years, I put on my Tangle Doctor hat. How did the team's management orchestrate this turnaround? What can business leaders learn from a team that seemed so unlikely to win a championship trophy?

I watched the victory parade yesterday from a prime spot, the 16th floor balcony of my husband's law firm. The roar and energy of the crowd was palpable. It was impossible not to be excited and realize that we were witnessing a moment in history. We then watched the ceremonies from City Hall as our celebration continued. While watching the ceremonies, three clear lessons emerged.

No Egos and a Collective Mind

The San Francisco Giants management talked about a decision that they made last year at Spring Training. They agreed that everyone from the bat boy to the owner was on the same level. They threw out the hierarchy and everyone was treated equally and respectfully. This reminds me of an article Karl Weick and Karlene Roberts wrote about what they called "the collective mind." Those who work at dangerous places, like a nuclear plant or on an aircraft carrier, develop the ability to tune in to each other. They are able to read each other's signals and react quickly and spontaneously, without politics or hidden agendas. They all have to be on the same page. While it might be challenge to structure a complex, global corporation in a way that eliminates the power dynamics associated with different levels, I have worked with large corporations that strived to create an open culture.

Take Risks

Although I wasn't tuned in to the nuances of what happened last season, many of the commentators during the final few games noted that Bruce Bochy, the head coach made a number of player trades in July and August that were controversial. Apparently, he took a lot of ribbing in the press for some of his choices. For instance, Edgar Renteria was brought in on a two-year, $18 million dollar contract, and didn't play for a lot of those two years. Bruce was ridiculed for his choice. However, it was Renteria who made the game winning homerun in the final game of the series. Bruce Bochy trusted his instincts and took risks, even if they weren't popular.

What kind of risks are you taking in your business? Are you trusting your instincts to hire the best talent for your team? More importantly, are you willing to make changes when new hires are not working out? These are all part and parcel of creating a winning team.

Offer Training, Support, and a Vote of Confidence

Freddie Sanchez was traded from the Pittsburgh Pirates in July 2009. He didn't contribute a lot to the team last year and early this season due to injuries. This season, he started playing again three months into the season, in July.

During the City Hall festivities, Sanchez explained that this season, after one particular game, he was watching a tape from the previous day. He was down in the dumps. One of his coaches came in and asked him what was wrong. He said, "I'm disappointed in my performance." The coach said to him, "We hired you for a reason. We have confidence in you." He felt supported. In the corporate world, mistakes are not always tolerated. Sanchez didn't play well at first. However, he became a major asset during the playoffs. All of the players acknowledged the training, support, and votes of confidence that they received day in and day out from their training staff.

These three lessons are simple. They are not easy. They require leaders who are willing to create a culture that discourages hidden agendas, big egos, and intolerance for mistakes. They also require an ability to pick the right talent, and to tinker with the team until the chemistry is right. And they require a learning culture in which everyone feels a part of the whole.

The city of San Francisco enjoyed the rare treat of basking in a stunning victory. The roar of the crowd and the smiles on everyone's faces told the story. We like to win and we like winners. It is the process of getting there that is the challenge.

Is yours a winning team? Do you have the talent, culture, and courage to do what is needed to win? Contact me for a complimentary consultation.

Below, each cable car has two players. The parade is proceeding down Market Street to Civic Center.

Night of the Living Dead, VUCA, and Strangling Tangles--Revisited

Marcia Ruben — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 01:45:00 GMT

Last Halloween, my husband and I locked ourselves in our darkened home, and watched a dvd of Night of the Living Dead. I had never seen it before and to be honest, I can’t say that I truly watched the whole thing. I spent part of the movie hidden under a blanket! If you haven’t seen it before, it contains some very gruesome scenes. However, as your intrepid Tangle Doctor, I couldn’t help see applications for saving corporate America form their own nights of the living dead.

Let me explain. This classic 1968 cult thriller starts off in a Pennsylvania graveyard. A brother and sister are visiting their father’s grave. A ghoul starts coming after the sister. She screams. The brother tries to save her and is killed. The sister runs off to an empty house. There, she finds an African American man (Ben) boarding doors and windows. He urges her to come inside to be safe. (Spoiler alert—if you haven’t seen the movie, the rest may spoil your thrills in watching. However, you will miss out on how this relates to corporate tangles.) Ben discovers a television. He turns it on and it turns out that there are ghouls all over America.

Here’s where the concept of VUCA comes into play. VUCA stands for volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity. This is a true VUCA situation. The television news broadcasters proclaim a state of chaos all over the United States. The situation is volatile because scores of men, women, and children are being killed by people eating monsters. There is uncertainty about who these monsters are, where they came from, and how long this will last. The situation is complex because newly dead people apparently spring to life, and go after the living. There is speculation that this is tied to a recent shuttle to Venus. Or perhaps the cause of this situation is radioactivity from the shuttle or some other source. The situation is ambiguous because there are no clear action steps. First people are warned to stay in. Then they are encouraged to go out. Everyone is scared and confused.

Today’s businesses find themselves in a truly volatile environment. The volatility of markets, uncertain consumer spending, complex credit environment, and ambiguous decision path forward make it difficult for corporate executives to calibrate their corporate strategies. Like the people eating ghouls in Night of the Living Dead, today’s business leaders face unprecedented external threats. They are also scared and confused.

But wait, the threats are not only from within in Night of the Living Dead. It is not enough that zombie-like creatures are roaming the countryside looking for prey. It turns out that there are others in the boarding house and they emerge from the basement. Some are willing to go along with Ben’s plan to protect the house. But one man is selfish and cares only about himself. He has his own agenda and challenges Ben. So while the inhabitants face a crisis of massive proportions, there is internal conflict. Does this sound familiar?

There is a lesson here for today’s leaders. Ben, it turns out, is a strong resourceful leader with a clear plan. He stays strong and calm in the face of crisis. He doesn’t back down. In order for the others to survive, he kills the dissenter. Metaphorically speaking, leaders sometimes do need to kill dissent. My research suggests that effective leaders make sure that they have a strong team, working toward a common cause. If someone is not aligned with the strategic direction, and after discussion cannot get on board, it is in no one’s best interest for that leader to stay.

In Night of the Living Dead, people were strangled right and left. The situation did become a Strangling Tangle. Today’s corporate leaders can avoid Strangling Tangles by quickly sizing up their strategic landscape, making sound decisions, and rallying others to take decisive action.

Is your company in crisis or threatened by unprecedented external threats? Is your leadership team aligned? If you would like to avoid your own corporate version of Night of the Living dead, contact me at info@rubenconsulting.com for a complimentary consultation

Executive Leaders: Are you Playing to Win or Not to Lose?

Marcia Ruben — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 18:09:00 GMT

In a recent episode of AMC's Mad Men (Season 4, Blowing Smoke), a fledgling ad agency is faced with the fallout of losing one of its key accounts, a major cigarette company. Even though the show is fictional and takes place 50 years ago, the situation and reaction of the firm's senior partners felt eerily current.

So many of my clients are in precarious and uncertain economic conditions. While things have stabilized for some, and are growing for others, the loss or prospect of losing of a major client is devastating.

As a small business owner myself, I know all too well the emotional roller coaster that ensues when a once steady client, for whatever reason, ends a long and mutually satisfying relationship. The anticipation of such an event creates stress, and my first reaction is usually fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of how to replace the business.

In this recent Mad Men episode, I watched with fascination as the firm's partners grappled with the reality that half of their firm's predictable revenue had gone up in smoke. Things indeed looked desparate. Each partner had different, and predictable reactions.

Keep Doing the Same Thing with the Same Results

The partners each scramble to find prospective clients. Though they know that the firm does great work, clients are reluctant to sign up when the firm is in such a precarious financial situation.

The partners bring in an old and trusted consultant. The consultant tells them that their sweet spot is the cigarette industry and that that is what they should keep doing. He promises to set up a meeting with a large tobacco firm. The potential client cancels--they don't want to take a chance.

Cut Costs to the Bone

The head of finance predictably recommended cutting all costs. He suggested that each partner guarantee a sizable amount of money to secure a credit line. One of the younger partners didn't have the money. When he told his wife of the firm's request, she screamed her head off and forbade him to provide money to the firm. Even though it was in his contract. Stress from worklife travels home and can be emasculating.

Go for the Brass Ring

Another partner suggested focusing on very large accounts. This suggestion was quickly dissed. It would take far too much time and money to court large companies, who already had long-standing relationships with the larger ad agency. Word had spread quickly that this small firm had lost a big account and was hanging on by a thread. Customers didn't want to hire an ad agency that might be out of business in six months.

Lay offs

When all else fails, start laying off people. The partners meet with key employees and ask them to prepare lists. Rumors fly. People cry. The scene is emotional and heart-breaking and all too familar in today's business climate.

Think Out of the Box--Play to Win

Things seem pretty desperate. Don Draper, the heartthrob main character and head of Creative, refuses to take part in the doom and gloom discussions. He finds inspiration in a former lover, now heroin addict, who manipulates him in to buying one of her paintings. As he stares at the painting, he has an epiphany. He writes a full page advertisement, a letter to the New York Times, stating that he can now sleep at night since he no longer represents a company that sells addictive products. In fact, he goes so far as to list his competitors and encourages

Don's move was bold, risky, and attention getting. While the others were playing not to lose, Don was playing to win. His move took confidence and guts. The fallout from his partners was telling. All thought he had gone mad.

All to often, fear gets in the way and we play not to lose. We don't take risks. We go with the known and familiar--trying to get the same business when there is none, cutting back, laying off, and laying low. What was the result of Don's risk? Only the writers and actors know at this point. My guess is that this bold move is the beginning of a turnaround.

What bold moves are you willing to take? Are you playing to win or not to lose? For a sounding board, contact us for a complimentary consultation.

Women Leaders: Are These Three Brain Knots Sabotaging Your Career?

Marcia Ruben — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 00:33:00 GMT

Over the past several years, I have consulted with dozens of women leaders who want to excel in the executive ranks. Many have already made it to the S. V.P. level, and some to E.V.P. or even CEO. Others are Directors wanting to move to the V.P. level. Typically, the person hiring me states that the individual has received feedback that she needs to improve her executive presence. Sometimes, the request is for assistance in improving influence skills. Other times, the assignment is more general as in, "we feel she is a high potential and needs some help in moving to the next level." Sometimes, the request is for a C-level female executive who needs to improve her emotional intelligence.

As a The Tangle Doctor ™ who untangles tricky leadership challenges, I work at the individual, team, and organizational system level. In my work with female executives, once I have conducted an extensive assessment, earned trust, and really dug in to the situation, I develop an action-oriented roadmap. In my work over the past several years, I have discovered some common themes. I call these brain knots because once we discover the crossed wiring, we know which threads to pull to get these ambitious women back on track. This blogpost will cover three of the most common. These are not the exclusive domain of women executives.

Unless I am Perfect, I Can't Do It

Early in my career, I felt that if I just collected enough information and experience, and knew how to do everything perfectly, I would advance to the next level. I remember my utter shock when a really young guy, armed with an MBA and two years of experience, went out on his own and charged more a day than I was making in a month! That was a wake-up call. Being perfect was no guarantee of success. In fact, I learned that it could seriously get in my way.

Some of my clients, all of whom are high-achieving and ambitious, are perfectionists. Perfectionists set very high standards for themselves and their self-esteem is dependent on meeting those standards. Many times, as the coaching process evolves, it becomes clear how self-defeating this behavior can be. Reframing success, and finding evidence of past success and the ability to learn, are strategies for untangling this particular brain knot.

I'm an Imposter

Studies of high achieving women suggest that there are some who feel that they are imposters, on the verge of being found out as not smart and/or not competent. Some researchers suggest that the roots of the imposter syndrome occur in childhood. Perhaps the young woman had a sibling or cousin who was "the smart one." That was the case with me. I had a sister who was "the smart one," and I was the "pretty one." Even though I got straight A's, I felt an intense competition. It took lots of self-work to acknowledge I was also smart!

Researchers also suggest that a young child who is given ongoing, indiscriminate, positive praise from family, and then encounters some challenges and obstacles, may also begin to doubt herself and question her competence.

In this case, I provide my clients with reflective assignments to gather evidence of competence. We also look for ways to reframe the self-view so that it is not so crippling.

I Have Competing Commitments (and don't know it)

Often, in the coaching process, a female executive asserts that she wants to do x, and in reality does y. I have found that guiding my client through a competing commitments process is transformational. For instance, I had a client who said she wanted to be perceived as more powerful. However, she was also committed to playing it safe and not taking risks. By exploring her competing commitment, and the scary assumptions behind it, she was able to take the steps she needed to in order to take some bold risks.

I have discovered other brain knots and will share those in subsequent posts. Let me know what brain knots you want to hear more about!

What brain knots are sabotaging your career? Explore how you can achieve your leadership aspirations. Contact me for a complimentary telephone consultation.

Executive Leadership Strategies When Volatility is the New Normal

Marcia Ruben — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 19:37:00 GMT

Consider this. Economic pundits have declared that volatility is the New Normal. Markets are fluctuating wildly day to day. Executive officers, guiding their companies, are afloat in a sea of uncertainty. Investors generally take fewer risks during volatile times. It takes guts to invest when the downside may be greater than the upside. It also takes courage to make major business decisions.

Negative Emotions Make Things Worse

My research suggests that negative emotions like fear lead to actions that further complicate human dynamics. For instance, a leader paralyzed by fear decides not to make any decisions, for fear of making the wrong one. Others take this cue and also discuss but don’t settle on a direction. Analysis paralysis sets in. Decisions not made at one level are escalated upwards. Soon, the senior team is being asked to decide about minor expenditures. Business grinds to a halt.

My research also suggests that effective leadership in volatile times requires that leaders be adept at sensemaking, that is, making sense of what is important and not, and monitoring risks along the way, are more successful during volatile times. Those with emotional stamina, or the ability to recognize that they are afraid, and act anyway, are also most successful.

Some of us are more adept than others when things are going well, or are routine. It is when we are living in a constant state of non-routine that we are tested.

We can learn a lot from jazz musicians. Jazz musicians are typically classically trained. They can read and play music flawlessly. A good jazz musician learns how to sense changes in the routine score, and by careful listening can adapt, and improvise, to make beautiful music. The skill of being attuned, or making sense of changes, is critical to producing good jazz music.

This skill of being attuned to one’s own emotions, the emotions of others, and changes and fluctuations in business conditions is also critical. Many years ago, I managed the implementation of a risk and empowerment training program at a major high technology corporation. We taught executive leaders that one should never bet more than they were willing to lose. When volatility is the new normal, it is important to hone your risk taking skills.

How prepared are you to thrive in this New Normal?

Are you a good risk taker? How adept are you at making sense of a volatile and uncertain environment? Can you improvise and make course corrections? These are just some of the skills required to thrive.

Explore how prepared you and your team are to succeed in this current business environment. Contact me for complimentary 15 minute telephone consultation.

Does Your Executive Leadership Team Value Truth or Peace?

Marcia Ruben — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 19:02:00 GMT

I was working with an executive coaching client recently who mentioned that some organizational cultures emphasize peace over truth. I hadn't quite thought about it this way and found the statement profound. In this case, my client was a very forthright individual, and he was being asked to tone down his style. I have also worked with executive coaching clients who needed to be more assertive and strong in speaking up. Both individuals needed to adapt to cultures who emphasized either peace or truth.

Likewise, I have worked with a number of leaders who are upset when some of the most critical business issues are not raised at meetings. Every business has inevitable functional conflicts. For instance, sales needs to make product modifications to win the business. On the other hand, manufacturing is rewarded for process efficiency and output. Or, R &D wants to develop the perfect product and values innovation and constant change. At the same time, the operations group needs consistency and stability. This type of task conflict is normal. It is critical that issues that threaten the ability of a company to sell, produce, and ship products are raised, discussed, and resolved. In reality, though, in many organizations, the default norm is --- keeping the peace, or harmony, is more important than the truth. Important issues are pushed aside. People find ways to work around the truth. Why is this?

There is no easy answer!

The truth is that this is a tangle of cultural norms, leadership styles, power dynamics, and the degree of trust within any one team. Solving this requires correct diagnosis of the underlying reasons, and a solution that correctly matches the problem. It is also important to note here that there is nothing inherently wrong with a culture of peace. These are companies that experience a high degree of camaraderie. Employees enjoy coming to work. The atmosphere is friendly and collegial.

Companies that value truth are also very effective and have a very different culture. Tough issues are raised. Leaders encourage employees to openly disagree and healthy conflict is welcomed. Companies like these, and there are a few here in the San Francisco Bay Area, pride themselves on searching for the best ideas. Employees working in these companies need to be tougher skinned.

Several years ago, I worked for a global human resource development and training company. Some of my colleagues made a sales call on a company that values truth over peace. These male employees left their sales calls a bit shaken. The internal staff minced no words in explaining their needs, what they wanted and expected, and how difficult it would be to get the sale. On the one hand, they left knowing where they stood (truth).

Somehow, I believe that the right answer is a balance between truth and peace. I spend a lot of time helping those in cultures that value peace learn ways to, as a colleague of mine recently said, “disagree without being disagreeable.” I also spend time coaching clients to be truthful without being hurtful.

Is yours a culture of truth or peace?

Explore how a balanced culture can accelerate your business results. Contact me for a complimentary 15 minute consultation.

When Leaders Struggle with the Soft Stuff—Hire a Qualified Expert

Marcia Ruben — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 04:25:00 GMT

The toughest leadership challenges include navigating tough organizational changes, leading tricky merger integrations, or smoothing out ugly personal dynamics on an all-star leadership team. It is tough enough to work your way through these situations even with the best of help. Merger integrations and strategic change efforts often fail because leaders don’t hire the right help. I recently came across a situation in which a large company asked someone with light educational credentials and a marketing and branding background to lead a mission critical and yet nasty change integration. This person hired on others with similar backgrounds to guide the change process.

It wasn’t until I read Adam Bryant’s interview with Guy Kawasaki in yesterday’s New York Times that a light bulb went off. Guy learned that what he thought was the hard stuff, finance, sales, marketing, etc. was the easy stuff. What was hard was dealing with people issues. Guy explained: “I should have taken organizational behavior and social psychology — and maybe abnormal psychology, come to think of it.”

I have spoken with a number of executive leaders who wish they had paid closer attention to their MBA organizational behavior courses. In the Corner Office interview, Guy observes that in Silicon Valley, some engineers believe that everything is easy compared to engineering, and that they can successfully master and oversee other functional areas. Not. Time and time again in my own field I have observed many with education in the hard sciences claim to be organization development consultants and coaches. I have seen others with backgrounds, education, and experience in marketing, public relations or communications claim to be experts in human behavior. Unfortunately, the barriers to entry are very low in my field. Those with no relevant education, credentials, and experience can claim to be experts. In my opinion, understanding, mastering, and being able to assist others with the soft stuff takes years to master.

Yes, by successfully managing others, individuals do learn about human dynamics. Being a spouse, one learns about relationships. Being a parent, one learns something about early childhood development. Those experiences alone are not enough to be an expert in the fields of leadership development, marital counseling, and child development.

Last year, I enjoyed watching the HBO show, In Treatment. Dr. Paul Weston is a psychotherapist, played by Gabriel Byrne. We watch Paul work with patients over a series of weeks. Paul is an excellent therapist who is also in therapy himself, with Gina, played by Dianne Wiest, his former supervising therapist. In one of Paul’s sessions with Gina, Paul exclaims that he believes he has failed as a husband and father and wonders how he can effectively help others. Gina reminds Paul that being a parent or husband is very different than being a trained observer of human behavior. They require different skills. Gina reminds Paul, that as a therapist, he has spent years learning his craft. He is trained to make observations, to ask insightful questions, make interpretations, and encourage others to look at their patterns of behavior.

So too with true experts in human and organizational behavior. We are trained to understand human development, organizational systems, and the difference between what is bunk and what is not. We understand the underbelly of organizational change and know that crafting messages and selling change is destined to fail. We also learn that what works in one situation may not work in another. There is both an art and science to helping leaders unravel complex human dynamics challenges. We also have to hone our own interpersonal skills and do the necessary inner work to function well in highly charged, political corporate environments. We have to be approachable and personable, grounded and no-nonsense. We have to be able to come in like a Trojan Horse and sometimes give tough feedback in a way that can be heard. This takes specialized skill, insight, experience, and training.

When you hire a management consultant to help navigate tough organizational changes, tricky merger integrations, or to smooth out rough dynamics in your leadership team, be sure you check the consultant’s credentials and experience. Someone with a background in branding and marketing communications is not an expert in human dynamics. Those with training and business experience in finance or sales are not experts in the nuances of leadership and human behavior. The field of human and organizational behavior is a specialized discipline.

Guy Kawasaki encourages leaders to hire people who are specialized and proven experts in their field. He also stresses the importance of being aware of your own biases when hiring someone, and I would add, bringing in consulting help. It may cost less to hire a quasi expert. It will cost more to clean up the mess.

For help with really tough leadership and organizational challenges contact me at info@rubenconsulting.com for a complimentary consultation.

Cough it UpTM How to Rid Yourself of Corporate Hairballs

Marcia Ruben — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 04:29:00 GMT

When I began my research into seemingly unsolvable corporate messes, I used the metaphor of a cat hairball to conduct my inquiry. Some people loved the metaphor. Others had negative visceral reactions. Hairballs subsequently became tangles, although much of my work is inspired by my research results on corporate hairballs. I had a lot of fun comparing a cat hairball to a corporate hairball. What follows is just a taste.

I am not a cat owner, so I relied on a number of friends to help me understand how cats get hairballs and how to prevent them. I learned that having hairballs is part and parcel of being a cat. Likewise, corporate hairballs are part and parcel of organizational life. I defined a corporate hairball as a significant business challenge that is a source of pain, crosses organizational boundaries, and involves diverse stakeholders. It has no obvious solutions and has challenging interpersonal or political dynamics. One of its defining features is the complexity of the numerous overlapping relationships.

Cats manage their hairballs by self-grooming. Hairballs become an issue for cats when dense balls of hair get caught in their system (this is the really yucky part!). Corporate hairballs become an issue for an organization when leaders don’t address tough, “hairy” complex issues and they lay dormant in the belly of the organization. Cats don’t function well when they have a hairball lodged in their belly. Likewise, organizations with a hairball lodged inside their system experience a sluggish workforce, low morale, and a slowdown in productivity.

How do cats get rid of hairballs? Squeamish alert—this is really yucky. Cats cough up or vomit hairballs. I found that a slang word for the word “cough” is to “cough up” or disclose! Organizations can begin to rid themselves of corporate hairballs when individuals bring them up forcefully and/or often, or through the act of disclosure within organizational conversations. It is often an internal or external organization development person who is in a position to recognize corporate hairballs and help get them on the table. Before an organization resolves a corporate hairball, it is preceded by a lot of noise in the system. It may take several attempts before the hairball issue is resolved. Getting rid of a hairball affects the entire organizational system and may also “shock” the organization’s system.

How do you encourage your organization to cough it up^TM? My guess was, and research proved, that organizations naturally get rid of hairballs by having a culture and leadership that surfaces, legitimizes and resolves tough issues. An organization’s values guide its behaviors. If the there is a participatory leadership process, where input of all kinds is eagerly solicited, it is more likely that the organization will manage its hairballs.

For help with really tough leadership and organizational tangles, even corporate hairballs, contact me at info@rubenconsulting.com

When Leaders have Each Other’s Backs, Teams Have Less Tangles

Marcia Ruben — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 05:32:00 GMT

Jake Pavelka, the Bachelor (yes, I secretly watch the show—I am a romantic at heart) said that he wanted to find a mate who “had his back.” I have facilitated dozens of team effectiveness offsites and invariably participants will claim that they either want to know their teammates have their backs, or recall that their highest performing teams were those with members who “had their backs.” I am not sure when or how the term entered the lexicon. I know that it is permeating the language now and particularly in team settings.

So what does it mean when someone has your back? I imagine that if I were going into a dangerous situation and brought along a buddy, I would want to know that if I got into trouble, my friend would rescue me. He would have my back. Likewise, if I were in a situation where I was criticized, I would know someone had my back if they verbally defended me. I know that my husband has my back when we are with my in-laws and he doesn’t let them put me down.

Knowing that someone has your back in a work setting turns out to be more complex. I worked with a leadership team at Uptown Robotics *that on the surface had some trust issues. They wanted to be a more cohesive team, yet had challenges communicating directly to each other. The team had to implement some unpopular initiatives company-wide and needed to communicate a uniform message. When each went into their respective internal client group, they had to tow the company line. Not everyone did and in fact, some bad mouthed their peers, and then flatly denied it. This led to suspicion and lack of trust. Untangling these kinds of misunderstandings takes time, maturity, and usually outside facilitation.

Many leadership tangles start when one peer verbally compromises another, intentionally or unintentionally. When leadership teams are not working in lockstep to implement new processes, policies, or procedures that are new, different, and unpopular, the tangle is not just with the leadership team. Communication between functions is compromised. When leaders have each other’s backs, they work more effectively and avoid human dynamics messes.

If you have a leadership team that does not fully have each other’s backs, contact info@rubenconsulting.com for a complimentary consultation.

*The name of the company is fictionalized to protect identity and confidentiality. Aspects of the story have also been changed.

Leaders . . . Untangle Your Own Fears and Minimize Your Corporate Tangles

Marcia Ruben — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 04:11:00 GMT

As the leader of my own firm, the hardest thing that I have had to do during these challenging times is manage myself . . . and my own fear. The newspaper headlines do not help. This morning, one of the top headlines in the Wall Street Journal screamed "New Fears as Credit Markets Tighten Up." This was like a red light, siren alert: Marcia, arm yourself, and hold on, it is getting worse. As an expert in human and organizational dynamics, I intellectually know that I am "catastrophizing." That is, I am taking one data point and in my mind, extending it out to its worst possible consequence. I know that this is not healthy emotionally, psychologically, or strategically. It is difficult to shore up my confidence and come up with creative business solutions when my mind and body are frozen with fear.

In these moments, the way I am making sense of the world is not serving me. And, if you as a leader are sense of the world in a similar way, it is not serving you. The decisions and actions I take when I am in the grip of fear do not move me forward. In fact, they move me backwards. If your reactions are like mine, your actions as a leader could create what I call a Frozen Tangle-an organization paralyzed with fear with little or no creative actions.

As an expert in human and organizational dynamics, I know that we have a choice about how we make sense of the world. We can choose the object of our focus, and pay attention to the feelings and emotions they evoke.

I am a proponent of positive psychology. Recent studies have shown that focusing on strengths and the positives does indeed to results that are more positive. I am also a proponent of finding practices and tools that are pragmatic and work. Esther and Jerry Hicks have some simple exercises that I find grounding and practical.

For the past two weeks, I have been paying attention to what evokes positive feelings (happiness, joy, contentment, elation) and even brings on a smile. For instance, earlier this week, driving home from a meeting, I saw a mother and her small child crossing the street, holding hands. Both were laughing and smiling. That brought a spontaneous smile to my face. I am focusing on extending that positive feeling as long as possible.

Even if it is a micro-moment, I am taking note. At the end of each day, I mentally review all of my micro-moments of feeling good, paying attention to increasing those moments. As I review those moments, I made an effort to recreate the positive feelings. When possible, I extend that feeling to more than a minute, and then also focus on my business goals, taking time to experience the positive feelings of achieving them.

I am noticing a subtle shift in my energy from frenetic and worried to calmer and more content. When I am feeling more content, I am able to think more clearly and come up with better ideas. I am also better able to communicate to others. And ironically, more positive things are coming my way. The phone is ringing.

I recently worked with a coaching client who needed to prepare for an important meeting. He was worried and feeling less than confident. I had him recall a time when he felt most successful and confident in his abilities. I had him describe those to me in detail. I noticed a shift in his tone and voice. I asked him to describe the feelings that he was experiencing. He was able to take that state into his meeting, and it was a success.

If you need assistance untangling your own fears so that you can then produce stronger business results, contact me at info@rubenconsulting.com for a free 10-minute consultation.

Shaun White, Olympic Gold Medalist, and VUCA Leadership

Marcia Ruben — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 05:36:00 GMT

One of my guilty pleasures is watching Oprah. I don't watch it live so when I do have a few free moments, I turn on the digital video recorder and catch up. Last week, on February 19, Oprah had Shaun White, the Olympic Gold medalist on as one of her guests. He flew overnight from Vancouver to Chicago to be on her show. I have to admit that I hadn't been following Shaun White, his career, or his sport--snowboarding. I did catch his medal winning half pipe performance and his exuberant reaction to winning gold. When he spoke to Oprah about what it takes to pull of such a daring performance, my ears perked up. There is a relationship to VUCA and tangles I thought!

Shaun's specialty is jumping off a cavernous, icy rim and twisting up in the air, landing on a banked edge of now. He calls his trick the special double McTwist. According to White, he has to be committed before he takes off. "It's all about commitment," he declared. Shaun jumps off what looks like a sheer cliff, twists around, and somehow lands without seriously injuring himself.

Likewise, business executives, leading through VUCA (volatility, uncertainty, ambiguity, and complexity) sometimes feel like they are jumping off of a cliff, and have no idea if they and their company will land safely. Shaun White has to know that he is going to land his jump before he takes off. His sheer commitment propels him to ensure that his body cooperates with his mind.

Likewise, corporate executives have to feel a high level of commitment to consequential decisions. Only that commitment will ensure a safe corporate landing. An internal shift takes place when I make a true commitment to a direction. When I am committed, everything seems to fall into place. I believe that this is the inner state that Shaun arrives at when he takes off for his daredevil jumps. Shaun explained that he can't see where he is going when he takes off. He has to spot his landing place upside down!

How often do you as a business leader really know exactly what obstacles and challenges you will encounter when you make a significant decision? Like Shaun White, you sometimes can't see where you are going until nearly the end. The inner state of total, unshakable commitment is often what provides the fuel, creativity, resourcefulness, and dedication to pull off the corporate equivalent of a double McTwist.

Congratulations to Shaun White for having the courage to go for it, and thanks to him for sharing some important wisdom.

You Can’t Hurry Trust . . . You Just Have to Wait

Marcia Ruben — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 05:39:00 GMT

There is an old song first sung by the Supremes, and later by Phil Collins and others, called “You Can’t Hurry Love.” The lyrics often run through my mind when I am working with leadership teams. Only the problem isn’t love. It is trust. You really can't hurry trust. As an organizational consultant and executive coach, I have often been hired to help teams who are struggling to perform optimally. More often than not, I find that there is a fundamental trust issue within the team.

This is a common and difficult issue to remedy. In this time of reduced budgets, clients want quick fixes. I have learned the hard way that it takes time, commitment, and multiple approaches to build or restore trust between otherwise well-intentioned leadership peers.

I have worked with a number of leadership teams over the course of many months. The most successful results occur when there is the luxury of time to design and implement a series of well-designed, structured offsites, with time in between for leaders to try new behaviors and build stronger working relationships. I hesitate when I am asked to fix a trust issue with a 4 hour offsite. I tell clients that these tangled situations are like a ball of yarn that has gotten knotted and snarled. If you pull too hard and too fast it just makes the tangle tighter. However, by gently pulling from the outside, it is possible to untangle the knots.

The Supremes hit song goes on to say, “love won’t come easy, it’s a game of give and take.” Likewise, developing trusting workplace relationships doesn’t come easy. Some have to give up judgments of others that they have been holding on to for a long time. Others need to forgive. And everyone usually needs to step up and be accountable for their part in the process. It truly is a game of give and take. And sometimes, teams have to wait and work through the process. Often, it takes a skilled and objective outside facilitator to help the untangling process. With commitment from all, trust can come sort of easy and you don't have to wait too long!

Enjoy the version of You Can’t Hurry Love I found on You Tube. See if it has application to your leadership team!