Everywhere I go, I am told that the life and death of Patrick McGoldrick was a challenge and motivation. The eyes of people (whom I’ve never even met) fill with tears as they tell me how meaningful it was to read of Patrick’s final days and watch his faith all the way to the end.

For those who may not know, on December 5, 2011, in the prime of his life, Patrick (my sister’s husband) was diagnosed with ALS–a disease that typically takes your life within three years. For Patrick, it was much shorter. Barely one year later, on December 26, 2012, he breathed his last breath.

The impact of his story, both in his living and his dying, spread across the world and thousands leaned in to learn from his journey. Who was this man who would not stop praising God even while everything seemed so unfair? My life has been marked forever by my journey next to Patrick in his dying days.

After months of work with help from volunteers all across the country, his book has finally been published. And there are five reasons why you should get this book…

• It was written by a man of God who lived well and died well.
• It contains 11 messages that Patrick delivered in his final few years.
• It includes his last message, “Who Do You Trust?”, which he delivered to a packed auditorium through difficult speech just months before he died.
• You, or someone you know, could benefit from reading Patrick’s inspirational messages about hope, fear, obedience and the sovereignty of God.
• Every penny received will go into the McGoldrick Family Fund to benefit his surviving wife and kids.

Buy it on Amazon right now.

Or, you can also pick up a copy at the bookstores in any of these churches…

• Cornerstone Baptist Church, Roseville, MI
• Granger Community Church, Granger, IN
• Calvary Baptist Church, Covington, KY

What is the best book you’ve read on loving God and loving others?

• Crazy Love – by Francis Chan
• The Dangerous Act of Worship – by Mark Labberton
• Love Does – by Bob Goff
• The Jesus Creed – by Scot McKnight
• Love Beyond Reason – by John Ortberg
• Redeeming Love – by Francine Rivers
• Resident Aliens – by Will Willimon
• Prayer – by Dennis Kinlaw
• The 10 Second Rule – by Clare De Graaf
• Prodigal God – by Timothy Keller
• Ragamuffin Gospel – by Brennan Manning
• And more than a few votes for The Holy Bible.

Any books to add to my list? Any thumbs up for one of the books listed?

The point of the book is not to tell people what he thinks the answer is–but rather to help the church become more loving to these modern day lepers. Here are some of my favorite quotes:

• “In a traditional interpretation of Scripture, gay sexual behavior is defined as sin, and because of that many Christians have taken that sin and, in their mind, rightfully ostracized an entire group of people. Think about what that means to a gay or lesbian person who is trying to discover, or rediscover, church.”
• “The Christian community has only ever known one way to handle same-sex behavior: take a stand and keep a distance.”
• “Research suggests that on average only 7 to 15 percent of the GLBT community was sexually abused in their youth.”
• “Christians have given the gay community the impression that only their sexual behavior is worth discussing, labeling GLBT people as nothing more than a dysfunctional set of sexual attractions and behaviors rather than whole persons with unique stories to tell.”
• “Among gays and lesbians, ‘love the sinner, hate the sin’ is the most disdained phrase in the Christian vocabulary.”
• “Christians look at a gay or lesbian person and see a potential behavioral change instead of a person longing to know the same Christ we seek. If we could only release control of what might happen down the road in a GLBT person’s life when Jesus enters, I promise that God loves his children enough to always tell each of them what he feels is best for their life.”
• “A reporter asked Billy Graham, ‘Why are you here supporting (Bill Clinton) after everything he has done to this country?’ Reverend Graham’s answer was succinct, powerful and true. ‘It is the Holy Spirit’s job to convict, God’s job to judge and my job to love.’”
• “David committed a behavioral sin, and suffered consequences for it. But Jeroboam committed a spiritual sin, turning his heart away from the Lord by making himself gods and idols of metal. David is remembered as the one who did what was right in God’s eyes, and Jeroboam is remembered as the one who did more evil than any who lived before him.”
• “Throughout the entirety of Scripture the Father is calling his sheep to realize this radical way of life. But still few are able to find it–to leave the judging to God, to leave the convicting to the Holy Spirit and to embrace the orientation of love.”

I purposed to read the book with an open mind, and learned a great deal. Read it and see what you think.

I wonder if sometimes we over-complicate the issue? Have you seen the new AT&T ad campaign where a bunch of little kids sit in a circle and answer questions? They say something crazy or off-the wall, and the narrator follows up, “It’s not complicated.” I think we need a little dose of child-like thinking regarding discipleship.

Sometimes we get so mired in the nuances of our argument that it paralyzes us from getting anything done. We sit around arguing the when, where, how and what–and we fail to inspire people to get on the path and start moving.

I’ll admit that sometimes I’m pretty simple, but this is how I look at it:

• A disciple has his feet pointed toward Jesus and is moving.
• A disciple-maker is intentionally taking someone else with along for the journey.
• A mature disciple doesn’t require anyone else to continue taking steps with and toward Jesus.

I don’t think it’s any more complicated than that. Very simple. But loaded. This means:

• People who are not yet convinced (pre-Christians) can be disciples (yes, discipleship includes conversion). 
  
• Speed of growth doesn’t matter. 
  
• How far you are along the path doesn’t matter.
• Spiritual maturity isn’t measured by knowledge or time traveled.
• Any disciple can be a disciple-maker.
• One goal of the church should be to make people less reliant on the church for their growth.
• If you are still relying on the church to feed you spiritually, that is okay. But it probably means you are not a mature disciple.

Is it any more complicated than that?

Here are Larry’s six questions:

• Is what I am about to say going to comfort, encourage or help the mourner? Or is it just something that will make me feel more at ease or comfortable in the situation?
• Is what I am about to say something that would be comforting to me if I were in the mourner’s shoes? Or is it just something that will make me sound insensitive or uncaring?
• Is what I am about to say something that will help the mourner walk through this dark time in their life and to find their direction through grief in a healthy way? Or is it just something that tries to “fix” or “rescue” the mourner or to “explain away” their need to hurt so badly in the ways that they do?
• Is what I about to say something that the mourner can hear and understand that someone does care for them and what they are going through? Or is it just a glib, trite response to the person’s grief which will probably be drowned out by the deafening pain they are currently experiencing?
• Is what I am about to say something that will bring the both of us closer together as friends? Or is it possibly a painful statement that will come between the two of us and change our relationship?
• Is what I am about to say something that is strictly for the well being of the mourner? Or is it just something that will make me look better or feel better about myself?

Probably the  most helpful part of Larry’s post followed the six questions when he said this:

If you are about to say something that is life-changing, inspirational and unbelievably profound, it’s probably better to just keep your mouth shut and just listen to the mourner. Mourners are not interested in knowing how eloquent or wise you may be. Mourners are interested in knowing that you are there for them, that you will listen to them, that you will not judge them, that you will not give them unsolicited advice, and that you care.

If you have gone through significant loss, what else would you add to this advice?

Recently he wrote about the burdens of leading a large church. And one of the downsides he has found is having to limit his access. Here are some quotes I really appreciated from his post:

I’ve determined at this point of my life to only give up three nights a week for church-related meetings. I am doing all I can to be home four nights a week. I am in the final years of parenting teenagers. I want to do it well. It can’t be done well without presence.

So smart. Many pastors won’t draw this line. They buy in to the lie that the church needs them more than their family does. Nothing could be further from the truth. The strength of your leadership comes from your strength at home.

I’ve learned that people expect pastors to work around their schedule. It is interesting to me how often I will give someone a time to meet with me (based on a request) and they ask for a different time (a weeknight or weekend). If they wanted to see the dentist because they needed a root canal – they will go whenever the dentist can see them. They don’t say to their dentist, “Can you do the root canal on Tuesday night or Saturday morning instead?” No, they will take the afternoon off of work to “meet” when the dentist is available.

Very true. And boldly stated!

I’ve learned that many people won’t understand that I’m not available to do what they want me to do. They know I can’t meet everyone’s expectations, but they believe they are the exception. I’ve also learned that when I don’t meet their expectations, it hurts their feelings.

I heard Bill & Lynne Hybels say, “We knew when we started a church we were going to disappoint a lot of people. We just decided that it would never be our kids who we disappointed.” That takes boundaries and some thick skin.

I’ve learned that I need to strategically give my time to things that best help our church make more and better disciples. Therefore, I prioritize groups over individuals (more impact). And I prioritize leaders (trickle-down impact).

People will leave David’s church because of this. But it is exactly the model that Jesus established. Yes, he spent time with the crowds, but he prioritized his private meetings and discretionary time with his leaders.

You will definitely want to read David’s entire post.

Regardless of how many people you lead or how large your organization, do you limit your time doing everything so you can do a few things well?

I’m pretty sure I won’t be around for my funeral, so I thought I’d write down some program notes in advance:

1. I see no reason for a cemetery plot, headstone or casket. Let my body be used for organs or research–and skip all the other unnecessary costs. A burial plot is for the purpose of people to mark my life and visit me when I’m gone…I have no interest in that.
2. Let’s be joyful folks. No one should be allowed to wear black at my funeral. Well, unless you love black. It is my favorite color. In that case, wear black. (But no ninjas).
3. I want a rockin’ band. And it should be loud. Although if my mother is at my funeral, perhaps not too loud.
4. I feel closest to Jesus in worship during band jam sessions–so it would be awesome if the band would play up tempo riffs for an extended time, and even if you hate it, just picture me smiling from heaven. Of course, the irony is I will actually be close to Jesus when you are playing it. But when I hear the band, I promise to move yet a few inches closer.
5. No open casket (refer to #1 above). Seriously, remember me alive…not dead.
6. At some point, read Romans 8:35-39. It has always been a favorite passage.
7. The only thing I leave behind worth anything is the impact of my life in other people–my wife, my kids, my friends and my church. If you want to celebrate my life–celebrate them. In fact, I hereby command every speaker to repeatedly tell my wife and kids how awesome they are.
8. If you can get the band MUSE to come play, that’d be awesome. And they are definitely allowed to wear black. I won’t be upset if it doesn’t work out.
9. I would love it if 10 people would send flowers to my wife every month on the anniversary day of my passing–for one full year. That’s right, shower her with flowers all year long.
10. If I were dying this week, I’d ask Aaron Warner to say something about my school days, Danny Jones to say something about my Life Action days, and anyone on the SMT to talk about my Granger life. (If Adam Tarwacki wants to tell any stories about me–probably none of them are true. Probably.)

There you go. Just so you know, I got an A+ at a recent physical, feel very healthy and have started a regular fitness routine…so I’m done thinking about my funeral.

For those in my sessions today, here are some links and resources that might help you…

• Granger Community Church website: GCCwired.com
• Vision: Lost & Found available on Amazon in both print and Kindle versions.
• The blog of my friend (and lead pastor), MarkBeeson.com
• Granger’s 2016 Vision in a PDF here.
• The New Normal Project - the stewardship campaign to raise money for the vision, helped by RSI Stewardship.
• A blog post about changing the name of the property.
• Information on the six-day Executive Pastors’ Coaching Network that I lead each year (next session begins March 21 & 22).

Leave me a comment and let me know if the Session was helpful or not.

Great book–here are some of my favorite quotes:

• “The way each one of us chooses to handle confusion and chaos may have a huge impact on the final outcome for everybody.”
• “Intuition doesn’t seek ‘the truth’ or even ‘sense.’ Intuition is completely open to non-sense…Intuition empowers us to operate in the zone of ambiguity and change, the exact place where imagination and genius occur.”
• “The results of a study published by Scientific American Mind in December 2010 showed that surgeons who play video games actually make ‘one third fewer errors in the operating room’ than surgeons who don’t–and that ‘video games can improve mental dexterity, while boosting hand eye coordination, depth perception and pattern recognition’.”
• In order to initiate change, “you have to show people that change will be beneficial to them; you have to make it both nonthreatening and inspiring.”
• Quote from Einstein: “Not everything that can be counted counts and not everything that counts can be counted.”
• “Today connectivity leads to transparency: with all the information available on the Internet, there is no longer a place for businesses to hide.”
• For the millennial generation (born 1978-1999), “time and flexibility are currencies to be weighed in the same way as money when they think about compensation for their work.”

I encourage you to grab The Intuitive Compass and take your time to read it. I’ve already changed the way I lead because of this book (more on that later).

1) Leadership Journal named Vision: Lost and Found with a 2012 Leadership Book Award. I was shocked because I didn’t even know my book was in consideration. There were a total of 10 books awarded, including titles by Andy Stanley, Wayne Cordeiro and Tim Keller. Regarding Vision, the reviewer shared the following:

We love a story shared with transparency and vulnerability. This book is packed with enlightening insights into revitalization, the great need of the Church!” (Wayne Schmidt, Leadership Journal, Winter 2013)

2) Liezel Oosthuizen wrote a very thorough review of Vision. I was so encouraged to see her insights and takeaways. You can read her entire review here, but one quote that stuck out to me was…

This book didn’t take a lot of processing or working through. Just a really exciting story of a church with leaders who followed while God was leading them through big changes that would take Granger church and their vision places they never thought it would go.  The hardships are very real but the fact that God is always victorious in His work is so evident.

The book is available in both paperback and Kindle versions. Read it and let me know what you think.