If I’m not visiting birth centres in preparation for our big arrival, I’m writing articles for my marketing activities, or I’m guest posting like a mad man.

To prove I haven’t dropped off the planet, here is where I have been posting recently:

5 Ruthless Ways to Be More Decisive

James from The Infopreneur is doing big things and growing a massive community in literally no time at all. His drive and work ethic really rubs off on you too!This article is all about overcoming our fear of decisions. Most regrets you will have are the decisions that you didn’t make. If you are not sure whether or not to read it, let me make the decision for you: read it!

Get 2,500 Subscribers and Not Earn a Penny

This was a very personal story of failure on my part that was very well received on Nicholas Cardot’s blog, Site Sketch 101. Not only does the site look amazing, it has fantastic content too and I was pleased to be a part of the conversation there. If you want to find out how I built a pretty big following but earned nothing from it, go give it a read now.

An Article A Day, Helps You Work, Rest, And Play

Jordan at Not A Pro Blog is adding a new, comedic dynamic to blogging. His comedy coaching services could become wildly popular as people look to set themselves apart in their niche. I highly recommend you check him out, and contact him about coaching if you want to be funnier and connect better with your readers. This article was the wordsmith in me trying to encourage others to take a challenge with me: to write just one article every day. I’ve been writing 10+ a day in various iterations. What did you achieve?

How to Get Big Results from Small Ideas

I was really excited to be featured on Problogger David Risley’s site this week. He is a huge name with a tight, focused following that I really enjoyed communicating with. I love his style and hope to achieve the kind of status and quiet confidence that he exudes. Here, I talk about why a small idea is perfect and we shouldn’t waste our time and effort only chasing the big ones. It’s well worth a read.

How to Remove Distractions With Information Fasting

Guest posting on Blogussion was a great experience and very, very easy too. I love the design and feel of the site and community and Alex is doing amazing things at such a young age. I guarantee he will be a millionaire by the time he is 21! In this post I discuss a concept called Information Fasting which can be quite a powerful way for you to realise that a lot of what you are reading, learning and sharing is keeping you from the important tasks that will get you where you want to be in life. If you want to become the master of the information super highway, I suggest you check it out.

I promise I will be back soon with a great new post and to the 40 or so of you who read this, thanks for sticking around!

Enjoy the posts.

Guest Post Roundup: Being Ruthless, Not Making Money and Information Fasting is a post from: Leash Optional

Ideas can strike at any time and quite often you won’t be ready for them.

I’ve lost count of the number of ideas that have been lost into the abyss that is my mind because it wasn’t convenient for me to get them down. When I did remember then, it wasn’t quite the same idea as it was when I first brainstormed it.

If you’ve been caught out by inopportune light bulb moments, I have a few ideas that might help.

Why ideas come when you least expect them

In England, we call it Sod’s Law, but you might know it better as Murphy’s Law. In essence, the law states that anything that can go wrong will go wrong. It’s used sarcastically for the most part but in relation to our problem it’s kind of true.

If ideas can strike at the wrong time then they will. Mathematically, since there is a probability that you will at some point have a good idea (this is, as yet, unproven on Leash Optional) then it is safe to assume that it will happen at the wrong time.

Murphy’s Law aside, there is another reason why we seem to have our best ideas when they just aren’t expected:

You’re not thinking.

It can be difficult or nigh on impossible to force yourself to have a great idea. For me it’s often a waste of energy. If I’m not inspired to write something, say something or do something then no amount of force on my part will change that. Almost every great idea I’ve ever had (two out of the three) has come when I have been doing something for pleasure. Walking, running, lifting weights, having a nap or just relaxing my mind.

I’ve developed my own system for dealing with inopportune ideas which has helped me to not only remember the essence of the idea, but also to keep it almost completely preserved for when I have time to flesh it out.

The Unleashed Inopportune Idea Catching System

Okay, so it’s not really a system, but this is what works for me. Use the parts you like, get rid of the bits you don’t, add your own to it and create your perfect way for remembering ideas regardless of when they strike you.

• Take a notebook with you everywhere. I’m sure you’ve all heard of this one before but it’s worth repeating. Carry a notepad with you wherever you go. Have one by your bedside table too. A lot of ideas come at night. The notebook is an essential part of my process because it is the easiest way to do a brain dump right away. If you don’t want to carry a notebook everywhere, use the notes or memo function on your phone.
• Brain dump your idea. When your idea comes just take a few minutes to get everything you can think of about the idea written down. If it’s an article idea for example, you might know what the first couple of paragraphs are going to look like. Write it down and do take your time with this one because the more detail you put in, the more you will remember later.
• Write down the feeling or buzz words. How do you want the idea to be? You must have a feel for the idea and any buzz words you can think of to get you back into that state of mind when you have the time later to flesh it out. If it were a blog post for example is the article going to be funny? Sarcastic? Pessimistic? Realistic? Analytical? Is it a personal story or a metaphor for something else? Getting all this down now means less thinking for you later.
• Instantly forget the idea! This is the most important part of the entire process. You have to consciously think about something else or do something else right away. If you sit and think about your idea all day then you are going to start fleshing it out in your head. You won’t have time all day to keep adding to your notebook because that would mean not doing what you are supposed to be doing. If you flesh it out but can’t jot down the thoughts, the idea will be diluted when you come to revisit it later. You’ll be annoyed that it sounded better in your head during the day and it will probably fizzle out. Forget it and rely on your notes to help you get it back later.
• Find your idea zen. When you get back to your notes and you have time to sit down and write that post or research that new business venture, take a few moments to relax your mind. Remove outside stresses such as music and TV and just read your notes. Immerse yourself in the feelings or the buzz words and recapture how you felt at the time. How did the idea feel in your mind? One you have a clear picture of the idea you can start to write or type it all out and your idea will begin to take form in more or less the same form as the original idea.

It takes some time to train yourself to remember the details of the idea accurately and even then, some of it may get lost in translation along the way. The important thing to remember is not to let the idea sizzle in your mind all day.

I’d rather have a medium rare steak than try to chew through an overcooked slab of leather, wouldn’t you?

How do you deal with inopportune brainwaves? I find this quite an interesting topic and so would love your comments below.

What To Do When Ideas Strike You At Inopportune Times is a post from: Leash Optional

There is one quality which one must possess to win, and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants, and a burning desire to possess it. -- Napoleon Hill

Napoleon Hill first coined the term definiteness of purpose back when he was conducting a number of interviews with some of the greatest business minds in the world that would eventually form the structure of his book and subsequent audiobook, Think And Grow Rich (aff link).

I had read about having a definite major purpose a couple of times before and understand the basics of it.

It is essentially all about defining your purpose in life. What is it you want to accomplish? What do you want to give to the world? In what do you truly believe?

It wasn’t until I listened to the audiobook and heard a recording of Napoleon Hill talking about definiteness of purpose that it really hit home how important having that burning passion is.

I bring this up now because I’m at a crossroads. I love writing and I love the quest of becoming an independent entrepreneur -- but I just don’t know if my passion to help people is being fully utilised here.

My main focus in my life is to build up income through online ventures to be able to leave my job, work from home and spend quality time with my family. Long term, I’d like to travel with them, but for now I just want to be there to witness my daughters first laugh, first walk, and first word. That is my definite major purpose.

I love building up affiliate sites, and have been starting to earn some very respectable money in this field recently, but I haven’t mentioned it much here before.

I guess what I’m really asking is what would you like to read about? Am I helping you at the moment or am I writing about self help to other self help writers in an endless cycle of wheel spinning?

If you could learn one thing from a guy who loves WordPress, building affiliate minisites, fixing computers/websites, the Spanish language and writing and has a great deal of retail and business-to-business sales experience… what would it be?

In closing, I want to leave you with this recording of Napoleon Hill from the Think And Grow Rich audiobook. It’s edited together but is still empowering, motivating and inspiring in equal doses. Great voice for speeches too.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BskUce3i4IY

So, what would you like to hear more of from me and what would you like to hear less of?

Also, do you have a definite major purpose? I’d really love to hear all your thoughts on this.

What is Your Definite Major Purpose? is a post from: Leash Optional

As someone who likes to talk to a lot of people all the time, brevity is difficult for me. There is so much to talk about that I have to blurt it all out in verbal diarrhea fashion.

But with more and more people going minimalist and rocking information diets, now more than ever is the time to just say what you mean.

I may well be contradicting myself here as I have on more than one occasion written posts that span well over 2000 words. However, that was not my intention. The posts that I have written here are the length they needed to be to convey the point I was trying to get across.

When I finished the draft of A Blogger’s Guide to Commenting for example, I didn’t look at it and think, “what can I add to this?” I actually looked for filler sentences and chopped them out. I hate beating around the bush and don’t like people to beat around the bush with me.

People, especially online, just do not have the time to sit and read the words that only serve to boost your ego. If you dilly dally, it’s very easy to unsubscribe, click away or lose interest. I do it everyday with countless blogs.

So, here are my top 3 tips for achieving brevity in your articles to help you say exactly what you mean.

3 Simple Tips for Brevity

1. Know what you want to say. When I write an article and I know the topic and know what I want to say, I get to the point quickly. If I try to wing it, I ramble, get sidetracked and fail to make the point I was trying to make. Have an idea of what you want to say before you say it and your words will have more clarity and meaning.
2. Think slowly. When I type or speak, I consciously make the decision to slow down my thought process. I focus on what I am saying right now. Nothing more. By focusing on the present, I stop my mind from wandering. If you start to think about what you’re going to say or a future blog post idea comes while typing – you will lose your train of thought.
3. Edit profusely. When writing posts, I limit editing to just 5 minutes. During that time, I cut out anything that isn’t – in my opinion – necessary to the point. When speaking, I edit as I talk. If I find myself starting to deviate from the point I’m making, I will stop and rephrase myself. It can be hard to edit speaking, but post edits are a breeze after you’ve done it a few times.

Brevity and succinctness are rare traits in many people. I think it would alleviate a lot of the junk online and make it easier to consume information if people got to the point more quickly. In the offline world more work would get done, less time would be wasted and meetings would be far less annoying.

What is your experience with brevity and how do you simplify, minimalise and just say what you mean?

Brevity, Brevity, Brevity is a post from: Leash Optional

Shit, as they say, travels downhill.

Bosses are the worst type of crap givers. They usually delegate menial tasks that they can’t be bothered to do themselves. And guess what? When you complete that task, they’ll probably take credit for it too. Ever wonder how that guy or girl who seems to be ridiculously, incredibly and stupendously terrible at their job – yet they earn double the amount you do? Chances are they got there by passing more and more crap down to minions like you.

Clients are just as bad as bosses though. “I need this by 5pm.“, “How long is it going to take?”, “Why can’t you sort it out for me now?“, “If you don’t get me a better deal, I’ll go elsewhere.”

This is the law of the jungle. Much crap will be taken, and many faces will be palmed (if only in your mind).

The Law of The Jungle – The Layer Cake

I know I paraphrase a lot, mainly because I don’t like to research things thoroughly and write pure hearsay most of the time, but I’m going to quote the 2004 Brit gangster movie Layer Cake:

You’re born and you start to take shit. You get out into the world and you take even more shit. You climb a little higher and you start to take a little less shit. One day you’re in a rare atmosphere and you’ve forgotten what shit even looks like. Welcome to the layer cake.

The character in question was actually talking about breaking legs, cutting off fingers, throwing bodies into rivers and other unsavoury gangster type activities.

For you, me and anyone else who wants to be an upstanding citizen it means we have to rise the ladder of life and achieve the lofty heights of a crapless atmosphere.

Why do we even take crap to begin with?

In your 9-5, your freelance consulting and your ebook empire you will receive questions, problems, rants and raves from clients and customers. Most bloggers I know get questions, problems, rants and raves from people who have never bought from them too.

We take their crap because we’re getting paid to. Plain and simple. If we’re being paid enough money, most people will take a little bit of crap and, for the most part, won’t let annoying customers ruin their day.

The problem with appeasing this angry mob is that it multiplies. Like a virus and Henri Junttila’s web domination they quickly increase in size and influence.

Before you know it, your inbox is 2k deep, your phone won’t stop ringing and you’ve got customers in your face threatening to punch you. Maybe I’m an antagonist but that last one has happened to me on more than one occasion.

Do you have the time and the patience to please everyone? What about the money you leave on the table by wasting your time taking crap? If you’re tired of being treated like a corporate whipping boy/girl, are spending more time mollycoddling one freelance client than working with the other five that give no problems, or are in a customer facing role where a black eye and a thick lip are becoming a real possibility, then it is definitely time to take less crap.

Removing crap and regaining your freedom

Here are my seven laws for taking less crap in the jungle. I’ve used these to reduce my inbox to >10 emails per day, no phone contact with anyone other than my Mum, and avoided numerous beatings at the hands of irate customers:

1. 80/20 everything. Yesterday was a pretty ironic day for me. I was right in the middle of explaining the basics of Pareto’s Principle to my boss when we were interrupted by an angry client. This client had been told that the service they had bought, worth around $30 a month in revenue to us for a minimum of 12 months, would not be available until February 9th. It was a physical barrier on his property and was out of our hands. There was no other alternative. The 9th was it, or nothing. They argued to and fro, and my boss did everything he could to keep this guy despite the fact it was getting quite personal and aggressive.

   In the end, he canceled and ordered a similar service from our (inferior) competitor. They take a fortnight to provide this service as well! So in the end, yes he saved one week, but their price is closer to $50 a month and is for a minimum of 18 months. He definitely falls into the 80% of crap that only delivers 20% of the revenue. If you have people like this in your business, do a ruthless 80/20 analysis and then see point #2.

2. Stop working with idiots. Sometimes the juice just isn’t worth the squeeze. The effort you put forth is only justified if the outcome results in something better. More money is not always the be-all end-all outcome. Time, freedom and less stress are much better outcomes in my opinion. You can always use 80/20 to find new clients with similar traits to the 20% that bring you 80% of the profits right now. You’ll have more clients, therefore more money, but your time, freedom and stress levels remain the same because they share the same low-maintenance characteristics as the clients you want to keep.

   My main stop working with idiots goal is to quit my job. It’s not my boss that is the idiot per se, more the entire ethos of the company itself is idiotic. Your life can drastically be improved by hand selecting who you want to work with. If you’re awesome, you can make a very healthy income with only a handful of brilliant clients. Choose wisely, grasshopper.

3. Offer a solution but don’t debate or justify it. I love Supernanny. Jo Frost kicks arse and teaches parents how to discipline their children. You can adopt some of the techniques to stop the temper tantrums of your clients. If they kick off and start whining or complaining, offer them a solution. One chance to solve the problem and nip it in the bud early. Do whatever you can, within reason/budget/law/morals etc, to fix it. If they don’t take the chance and continue to argue the point, do not be drawn into a debate or be forced to justify your actions.

   State simply and clearly, “I’ve offered you a viable solution that will solve the problem right now. Do you want me to fix this for you?” If they say yes then tell them you’re going to go and fix it right away and that you’ll advise (by email, but don’t tell them that) them when it is done. If they say no, tell them you have a meeting to attend to and that you will look into the matter further and contact them with an alternative solution. You’re not asking them to let you get off the call, you’re telling them you have to. This is the corporate naughty step. You’re taking the power back and getting back to them in your own time. Follow up with a simple email detailing the first solution offered and an alternative if there is one.

   Make them choose and force a reply by adding “Which one would you like me to do?”. If they still can’t behave, see #2 and cull them.

4. Set contact times and modes of contact. Train your clients to contact you at certain times of day using a certain method, preferably email. Use auto-responder replies to manage their expectations and teach them to deal with problems on their own without nagging you for every little question they have. Again it goes back to Supernanny, who should really become a client management consultant for large corporations, when she teaches mothers to not kiss or cuddle the child when they are crying, punching, kicking, screaming and asking for affection.

   By doing that, you are validating them and letting them know that if they kick up enough fuss and behave in that way, you will give them whatever they want. If they continue to email you or call you at all hours of the day, go back to #3 and put them on the naughty step. When working with difficult people, I make them wait for 2 minutes per year of their age before I get back to them. That 80 year old customer will only call me “a useless sack of [insert expletive for human excrement here]!” once.

5. Outsource your crap. I haven’t had a need to do this one yet but I’ll still throw in my quids worth. In my opinion, you should begin to create a client management system that culls problematic, troublemaker clients and frees up your time to focus on delivering awesomeness to the clients that actually pay your bills and make whatever it is you do for a living so fantastic! Once you have a system in place, the majority of it is automatic and late night abusive phone calls and face-to-face fisticuffs have been eradicated, you can look to outsource the rest.

   A lot of people complain about foreign call centers. Some people have even left my company that use operators in India and the Philippines using that as their reason. The funny thing is, the only other company that provides the same service as us in the UK also use operators in the same countries. And their waiting time is twice as long. Go figure.

   Anyway, the great thing about outsourcing your crap to India or wherever is that these guys and girls are literally unflappable. I’ve tested them. I had my step-dad (who is, what we would call in the UK, a total wind-up merchant – ask me for details) test them. No matter how annoying, obnoxious, abusive or plain stupid you act, they will continue to treat you with the utmost respect. You will be called Sir or Madam at all times, you will always be asked if there is anything else they can help you with and always be greeted and bid farewell to in the most regal of manners.

What if I’m still employed and can’t punch a client in the face?

I realise that as I write this, a lot of advice is only relevant for freelancers, entrepreneurs and bloggers making money with products. If you still work for “the man” then you can’t turn clients away no matter how much you want to.

To the people who still work and can’t use these tips fully I say this:

If you are reading this blog, you probably have aspirations to do more than push paper around at a desk all day. Start thinking now about how you can create a new business venture or blog. If you have a blog already then start thinking about potential joint ventures and products you can release. More details on this will be coming in the next few months.

When you’re in a position to go freelance or quit your job – do it. Once you start to become overwhelmed with crap, come back and read this post to relearn how to take less of it!

At this point I’d like to hand the baton over to you. I want to hear your absolute best crap taking story and what actions you do to take less of it. What’s the worst you’ve ever taken?

The Law of The Jungle AKA How to Take Less Crap is a post from: Leash Optional

Our instinct is to do what others before us have done. You might try and pick up the hot girl by following the advice of the “pro” pickup artists. But if she’s really that hot, chances are she gets hit on daily. Probably even hourly if she lives anywhere near me and I have no place better to be!

If she’s seen it and heard it all before, she won’t care about what you have to say. Within seconds she will have decided that there is no way you’re getting to spend time with her and nothing you can do will change that.

And so it is online.

There are so many sites on so many topics that people keep regurgitating and recycling the same old content, time after time after time. Go to any popular online business blog and you’ll be sure to find a post on finding/discovering/unleashing/revealing your passion. Read them all. Most, if not all, will contain the exact same points but rewritten into the authors style.

We all imitate because it’s easier than thinking for ourselves.

When I started out with affiliate marketing I copied the layout, the content style and the overall sales message of sites in my niche. I built backlinks in the exact same places as my competitors and targeted the same keywords.

Then I wondered why I wasn’t making any sales. The second I started thinking for myself, created my own minisites and built my own backlinks from sources nobody else had used while targeting different keywords, the sales slowly started to ramp up.

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but I don’t want to flatter somebody else. I just want to succeed. To do that, you need innovation.

How to relight your innovative flair

Sometimes all it takes is a little self awareness and a few simple ways to open up your mind to possibilities. To be truly innovative you have to tread your own path and find out what works yourself. We want guides that show us step by step, in minute details, how somebody else has accomplished success. We think that’s what we want, anyway. In reality, that merely serves to stifle us further.

Here are four simple ways to start becoming more innovative right now.

Free your mind

Get rid of all the clutter in your head. Seriously, we spend countless hours trying to clear out our inbox or keep the hard drive free from programs we’ll never use. We get rid of junk in the house, the garden, the basement, the attic. But we never stop to think about the clutter in our head?

My best advice for this is simply to stop thinking and just do. You know when you try to write an article and you think you have writers block? Just write anyway. Even if what you’re writing isn’t what you actually want to say, the actual process of starting will open up your mind and clear away the cobwebs.

Once I start writing, the words seem to fall out and if you can get yourself into a pattern where you do not stop writing for 10 minutes, you will be surprised at what you type, even without thinking about it. You might even be able to write a blog post in 5 minutes.

The same goes for whatever it is you want to create, learn or change in your life. Start whatever it is you want to start, no matter if it feels uncomfortable or that you’re not saying, doing, writing what you really mean to. Ideas flow forth once you take your mind out of the equation.

Imitate, you must not

To find innovation you have to be comfortable being you. If you don’t believe in yourself, then any ideas you have will be instantly dismissed (by you!) and may never get to see the light of day.

One of the ways that I suppressed my innovation in the past was that I jumped from course to course, following different peoples systems aimless and mindlessly. With all those gurus out there, I figured that I couldn’t do any better. So why try? When I eventually got frustrated at not getting the success I wanted, I tried it my way.

I brought what I knew from my sales background and put it into my minisites. I’m not making a fortune, but doing it my way has given me a few sales a month in a couple of niches and has helped no end to boost my confidence and increase my innovative flair.

Stop following everyone else aimlessly. By all means learn and discover new tactics, techniques and tips for whatever you want to do, but putting yourself in the position where you have to stand on your own two feet is far more beneficial in the long term because you learn to put faith in your own ideas, instead of falling back on what others have already done.

Go against the grain

Sometimes you have to be extreme to succeed. Part of being innovative is taking risks on ideas that may or may not pan out. Risk is great. With no risk, there is no reward. I’m sure somebody much more worldly and wise than me said that, but I don’t know who – so for now – I’ll claim it as my own!

Going against the grain is doing the things others are afraid to do. Sometimes, it means doing the exact opposite of your competitors.

I come from the mobile phone world. Retail, online and b2b sales were my life for many years. One of the big innovations in the UK market was the cashback phenomenon. Basically, mobile phone dealers paid cashback out of their commission to customers who bought from them. Fantastic idea, but incredibly hard to manage and police.

Online, I’ve only just started to see this type of offer happen. I’m not sure who had the idea, but it’s a terrific example of innovation. If you buy the Thesis theme through my link, I’ll give you $25 back via PayPal, for example. I’ve also seen it done with Hostgator hosting and a few other high commission products and services.

That is the kind of thing you need to discover. Stand out from everybody else by doing something they are afraid or unwilling to do and you may just discover the new “cashback”.

Think ahead of the curve

I know that I always talk about being present, living in the now and experiencing life without looking to the past or the future – but for innovation instead of imitation, you sometimes need forward planning.

By developing your ability to predict what markets will become popular – you could create a blog or minisite in an untapped market, for example. If I’d been quicker, I could have created a content site around the Twilight series which absolutely exploded in popularity after A New Moon was released. I’ve since seen sites based on Twilight for sale on Flippa for upwards of $5-6k.

Being ahead of the curve is about seeing trends in everyday life and being able to predict where they will go before they happen. But it’s not just about business and creating online sites!

Forward thinking can also improve your relationships and any skills you want to learn. What if your relationship with your partner started going south? How would you recover from that and win him/her back? You’ll be surprised at the great ideas you come out with just by thinking about the future. When you get your innovative ideas – act on them and you separate yourself from the imitators.

Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower

As you’ll start to discover – innovation is control. You take control of your own destiny and stop allowing yourself to be dictated to by others.

Try things your own way. Do what they said couldn’t be done. Don’t follow the normal “leashed” path that so many have been down before. Be you. Make new discoveries about yourself and fail often. This is how you achieve innovation.

Woody Allen once said:

“If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.”

He was bang on the money. You don’t have to think outside the box. You have to remove the box and just think. For yourself. Once you start making your own decisions you will quickly learn that the only right way to do anything is your way.

What do you think? How have you discovered innovation in your life and how has it helped you to achieve success?

Innovation: How to Stand Out in a Sea of Imitators is a post from: Leash Optional

“Hey yo, Adrian…. I DID IT!”

I relate quite strongly to Rocky Balboa. The personification of an underdog. A no skill, no talent bum from the wrong side of the tracks who became a winner through sheer determination and drive. He went the distance then went back to the streets. Just a man and his will to survive.

For the most part, watching Rocky films and listening to the soundtrack inspires you to run, lift weights or hit something (or someone) really hard. But more than that, it makes you feel like you can achieve anything.

We love underdogs. We root for them whenever we can because we want to believe it is possible for the little guy, the guy who doesn’t achieve the success he perhaps deserves. It’s fascinating to me. One example of a real underdog story online would be Jeremy Schoemaker. The guy went from overweight, surgery bound and broke to an Adonis making millions in just five short years. He’s the online Rocky Balboa, without the speech impediment.

But what can Rocky teach us about life?

When I question what I’m doing, where I’m heading and whether or not I can achieve my goals, I watch that video. (if you can’t see the video click here for the post)

Maybe I’m just a sucker for a southpaw turned restaurant owner turned self help guru but that speech really resonates with me. How do you feel about it?

When people turn to film or book characters for personal development posts, they often look towards Tyler Durden for inspiration, but for me, Rocky delivers the knockout blow every time (oh yeah, I went there!).

Let me paraphrase Rocky here, in no particular order:

• You gotta be willing to take the hits. Sometimes in life, you will fail. People will always criticise, complain, push a finger in your face and tell you that you’re no good. To be a success you have to brush it off and keep being you. Don’t let anybody tell you what you can or cannot achieve. Your only limitations are the ones you impose on yourself.
• Don’t blame him or her or ANYBODY! Blaming others for your misfortune is a quitters game. Take control of your own destiny, dominate the universe and take what you want from life. Don’t give excuses, give results. The only person who can keep you from achieving your hopes and dreams is you.
• Keep moving forward. It’s not about how hard you can hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. In life, as in boxing, whatever awesome and superhuman things you achieve, you will always take hits. You have to be willing to keep moving forward despite the hits. That’s how winning is done.
• Know what you’re worth. If you know what you’re worth then go out and get what you’re worth. Stop underestimating yourself. The fact you’re even thinking about doing something better with your life puts you ahead of the curve. If you have the belief that you’re worth $200 an hour and can prove it with hard work, then go out and get what you’re worth.
• The world aint all sunshine and rainbows. The sooner you realise that some days the world can, and will, beat you to your knees, the sooner you will learn to let things go, accept what is and continue on your path to enlightenment (or to cake, depending on your goals).
• Believe in yourself. Until you start believing in yourself, you simply won’t succeed in whatever it is you’re trying to achieve. If you go into things half arsed, ready to fail and ready to blame someone else, then you’ve already convinced yourself that you can’t do it. The most successful people I’ve ever met were no better than you, me or anybody else. They just had a unbreakable self belief system that drove them to success. Start believing in yourself and you’ll see results!

Time to get the eye of the tiger, kid!

Rocky is a piece of iron. He got hit. Hard. Sometimes he went down. But in the end, he always got up and pushed forward. He kept moving towards his target with resilience and tenacity. He was cut, bruised and broken, yet still he persevered.

Will you approach life in the same way?

Lessons in Life from Rocky Balboa is a post from: Leash Optional

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” – Ferris Bueller

The due date for the birth of my first child, a little girl, is March 8th 2010. It literally seems like only yesterday that I got the news that I was going to be a father.

We spend so much time trying to achieve our hopes and dreams that quite often you forget about what is happening right now. We’re all busy, we all know the feeling of not having enough time and trying to fit as much as we can into our day. But we’re missing the big picture.

Life is happening. And while you’re sat on your laptop creating articles that tell other people how to live a better life, you’re missing out on the awesome life you keep talking about. Sometimes, you just have to stop thinking about the future, stop trying to create something amazing and stop focusing on the maybes.

Focus on the now, live for the moment, get out there and just enjoy your life.

I’m going to spend the rest of today with my heavily pregnant and constantly complaining girlfriend and I will love every second of it.

What are you going to enjoy today?

Life Moves Pretty Fast (Don’t Miss It) is a post from: Leash Optional

Sound familiar?

If you’re stuck in a rut, you literally cannot be bothered to do anything. Every moment of your life is wasted simply existing. Your mind feels heavy and clouded and there is a constant sinking feeling in your gut.

You’ve lost the passion, the zest, the clarity and you’re not living in the moment. The french call it a certain… I don’t know what.

I call it your mojo. And I’m here to help you get it back.

Time to get shagadelic, baby!

Nobody likes a mojo-less entity. It sucks to be sans mojo and people won’t want to be around a mojo killer. Life without mojo is just plain boring. Maybe that’s why when you’re stuck in a rut you don’t feel like doing a damn thing. You’d rather sit and eat Cheerios than abseil down the side of a cliff face somewhere off the coast of New Zealand. To somebody in a rut, both have the exact same appeal: none!

When you hit the point where you stop washing yourself, cleaning your teeth or taking regular bathroom breaks, it’s definitely time for you to snap the hell out of it. Here is my quick guide to recapturing your elusive mojo.

How to install Mojo 2.0

Get some fresh air!

One of the worst things you can do when you’re mojo-less is to sit festering in your own self pity, eating anything in sight and avoiding the world. Get out there and enjoy what your city, town or village has to offer. If nothing else, the fresh air will do you some good. Get some high quality oxygen into your gills and savour every breathe. This is your life, and it’s ending one minute at a time. [hat tip to Tyler Durden for that little gem!].

Do something fun.

If you’re going through your daily life like a robot from the planet Chapek 9 then you need to break the cycle before you go mad (or rusty). Forget about your To-Do list and to hell with your blog post that you just can’t finish because it sucks. Do what you love to do for fun. Go for a run, learn to dance, speak Spanish or harass the mean old guy across the street with crank phone calls. Just do something to get you laughing, excited or happy again. Are you feeling the endorphins rushing through your body? Good. Now you just need to learn that you can always feel this way if you live your life doing what you love every day.

Get laid.

Now, if you’ve really hit rock bottom you’ll probably need to take a bath, get a haircut, shave (ladies I recommend only shaving your legs), and generally spruce yourself up first. If you have a partner that hasn’t kicked you out yet, take them out for a meal as a treat. Wine them. Dine them. Take them home and get them in the mood for some loving. Nothing will shake the cobwebs away like a good old fashioned romp! If you’re single, hit the bars. One night stands are lame, so instead just try to meet as many new people as possible. Laugh, joke, flirt and facilitate change in your life. Who knows, you might meet “the one“?

Learn something new.

Nothing keeps the mind in shape like learning something new. It could be dancing, a new language, an instrument, new marketing techniques or any other skill you’ve always wanted to master. If you are thinking about learning something new, then make sure you commit. Do or do not, there is no try. Throwing yourself into learning gives you a new zest for life. I love learning new things and then boring the living daylights out of anybody who will listen to me talk about them. If you want to get your mojo back, start learning, baby!

Meet like minded people.

If you haven’t already, surround yourself with people who care about what you care about and love what you love. My girlfriend hates me being on the laptop reading RSS feeds or typing loudly at 3am when she’s trying to sleep. And don’t even get me started on the Tweetdeck notifications… she despises them! When you become friends with people who share your passions, you begin to understand just how amazing it is to do what you love. Everything falls into place. It can be a lonely world, especially if you’re trying to make it as an entrepreneur. Like minded people will give you drive, motivation, determination, joint ventures and, most importantly, friendship. I connect mostly through email, blog comments and Twitter. I’m not trying to get them to visit this blog or subscribe particularly, I just want to meet people and make friends. I suggest you do the same.

Travel.

Nothing will revive your lust for life like traveling and seeing the world. There is so much beauty in the world and it will give you a new lease of life to see all the amazing wonders this world has to offer. I’ve partied in Malia, got drunker than I’ve ever been before on $10 in Prague, watched the sun set in the Dominican Republic, got lost in Amsterdam (twice), accidentally went into a sex shop in Germany and had my blond hair stroked and admired my locals in a Saudi Arabian souk among many other things. Travel isn’t just for tourist destinations and spending time on the beach, although that can be good too. It’s about experiencing new cultures, new customs, and different people with an entirely different outlook on life. A surf instructor from Australia is going to have a far more relaxed and chilled out life than a New York banker on Wall Street. You can shape yourself into a better person just by being in the company of diverse and intriguing characters. Learn from their life lessons and create a newer, more free, you.

Start a blog.

Sean Ogle has a passionate and moving video that he shot on the beach in Thailand which strongly encourages anybody wanting to do what he has done to start a blog. I agree with him. Writing about things you love and know is therapeutic for the soul. You get clarity from a clear mind and you get that amazing feeling that comes when just one person leaves a comment to say how much your post helped them. Writing also helps you to communicate more effectively. When you’re mojo-less it can feel like nobody understands what you’re trying to say or where you’re coming from. Blogging will help you to articulate your thoughts and be specific about what you want! If you do start a blog, go out of your way to provide amazing value and content for free. That’s what I try to do here. Am I succeeding? Reach out to other bloggers doing what you want to be doing and talk to them. If they don’t reply, keep at it. Persistence is key when it comes to being a successful blogger. Next week I’ll let you know about my February Challenge and it will be one that other bloggers can do with me to boost themselves up the blogosphere hierarchy. Subscribe to the feed if you haven’t already so you don’t miss it.

Pick something and Just Do It™

If you want to relight your fire, then you need to stop wallowing in self pity, doubt and procrastination and just do something. Pick something from the list or choose something yourself. Whatever it is, make sure it is fun, exciting and gets your heart pumping again.

Don’t worry so much about the past or the future and focus on the here and now. Do something you love, for fun, and push everything else from your mind. Relationships, money, work – forget them and just enjoy the moment.

Have you ever lost your mojo? How did you get it back and what did you do to recapture it?

How to Recapture Your Mojo is a post from: Leash Optional

One of the quickest and most rewarding ways to gain new visitors to your blog is basically by stealing someone elses! By commenting on other, more established, blogs you can massively increase your blogs visibility and you’ll be able to convert a good proportion of those visitors into subscribers.

You don’t suck, blogging is just hard

It’s not easy to create amazing content that engages, helps others and promotes further discussion in the blogosphere. If it were, we’d all be making six figures a year and globe-hopping to our hearts content. Blogging takes dedication and determination. Like Cleavage, it’s the DD of blogging!

When the traffic doesn’t start pouring in, most bloggers lose interest and go back to eating ridiculous amounts of cake (not necessarily a bad thing), watching trashy TV soaps and patting themselves on the back for at least giving this blogging lark a go.

In actuality, you can start to see some really serious results just by commenting on other blogs.

Why commenting on other blogs will skyrocket your traffic

If you don’t want to spend the time commenting on blog posts here, there and everywhere to get your name out there, I suggest you take up something less strenuous like tiddlywinks. For those serious about being a blogger, this is why commenting on other blogs will help you in your goals:

• You’ll get targeted traffic! No need to worry about keyword anchor text here. You don’t need to be an SEO ninja to realise that if you’re posting a comment on a blog that has similar topics to yours, then the people reading said blog, who subsequently click on your link in the comments, will be very interested in what you have to say on your blog. Simples.
• You gain your audience through somebody elses. Most of the blogs you’ll be reading and commenting on will be established players in your market. This means they have a hell of a lot more readers and subscribers than you (let’s face it, at this point who doesn’t?). You’ll get to tap into that reader base and a good number of them will click through. I’m always finding new blogs through comments on my favourite sites. This is the way the web works, people!
• You get your name out there. If you are commenting on all the big blogs (and the smaller ones too) then the readers will start to recognise your name and face. (Get a Gravatar if you don’t already have one) This is a good thing because you want people to associate you with this market. It’s like Coca Cola. That’s all I ever see on TV so if I’m in a shop then I’m going to buy Coke. I definitely won’t touch the cheaper Rola Cola next to it!
• You’ll meet like minded folk. During your blog commenting campaign you will be introduced to many new bloggers. All of which will have similar interests as you. This is a potential goldmine for joint ventures, guest post opportunities and collaborations on any number of great ideas you may come up with. Nobody likes to be shunned by their family for continuously talking about WordPress, Google Analytics and Clickbank conversion rates so why not find another geek to wax lyrical with?
• You’ll get more post ideas than ever before. If the blog post your reading is the awesome kick ass rock concert, then the comments are like the super cool, super exclusive after show party backstage. People discuss the content, give opinions, argue, agree, add valuable points, digress onto similar topics and generally provide an immense and ongoing conversation that evolves with every comment. I’ve had so many ideas that stemmed from a comment on a blog (this post included) and had my opinion changed by a thoughtful and well articulated response. Everyone needs to be at the backstage party!
• Improve your writing skills. The more you comment, the better you become at getting your point across. It’s terrific writing practice. You’ll learn what gets you noticed and what doesn’t. What gets you click throughs to your own blog and what doesn’t. These can then be applied to your own blog so that you write in a way that will get you more subscribers. You can also use your newly found linguistic skills to encourage more comments on your own blog to build long lasting and thought flowing discussions while also giving back to the smaller blogs who come to you for advice now that you’re a big shot.

Of course, with the power to comment on other blogs there also comes a bit of responsibility. There is a certain code of conduct that comes with blog commenting and rules of etiquette that need to be followed if you want your comment to be published, let alone get you any clicks.

How to be a successful blog commenter (without looking like a nasty, robotic spambot)

I’ll assume here that you’re a commenting virgin. A complete newbie who doesn’t know their Disqus from their CommentLuv. As I go, I’ll try to explain everything that is a bit jargon-y. I’ve come up with what I like to call the Comment Code of Conduct. Basically it’s a set of best practices to give you maximum bang for your buck when commenting on other blogs.

There are three criteria I follow and advocate for successful blog commenting:

• Etiquette
• Value
• Conversation

Let’s look into each of these a little deeper and I’ll explain the best practices for each.

Elbows off the table, it’s time for some etiquette lessons

Good commenting etiquette is absolutely essential for a successful campaign. This is the stumbling block of many a blogger because they see the comments as merely a self serving tool. The aim of commenting is not to get loads of links back to your site. Forget about SEO and anchored keywords. If you want to rock it as a commenter then the following guidelines should give you a good start:

• Don’t use keywords for your name! If you use “elaborate sex toys” as your name when posting a comment, you won’t be taken seriously. Same goes for “cheap web hosting”, “search engine optimizsation”, “cheap viagra” or any other keyword you can possible think off. If you are a legit blogger, use your name. It lets people associate you with your Twitter or Facebook profiles and gives you consistency across the web so you can build up your brand. You can use your YourName@Keywords if you’re commenting on a KeyWordLuv enabled blog if you really have to get your keyword fix (even though I still advise you not to).
• Make sure you check your speeling. Nothing screams spam like a poorly written comment. Proof read your comment before submitting it. Don’t be anal and take longer to review it than it took to type but basic spelling stuff needs to be checked. I have a spell checker built into my laptop to help me out, although for some reason no matter how many times I change it to English it still insists that the correct spelling is color and favorite! Checking your spelling is a simple task and it just makes you look more professional and like you actually know what you’re doing. Bad spelling for me puts me on a back foot before I even finish reading the comment. Don’t let the first impression the blog owner sees of you be a bad one.
• Stop with all the linking! My biggest commenting pet peeve is links. When I comment on a blog I never post a link. You have to be damn near Shakespeare level to make yourself not come across like you’re shamelessly self promoting. I think you could get away with one link in the content of the comment if it is appropriate to what you’re writing but for 99.99% of cases I think that the standard link in the comment form is enough to get the traffic you want. It’s also worth mentioning that depending on how strict the blog you comment on is on spam policing, you may not even get your post approved. You have been warned!
• Be respectful of the content author. If you disagree with a post and want to comment on it then that’s fine. You can add to the discussion with your own opinions and add value to the conversation. People will respect that and click your link. If you flame the author for writing the most worthless piece of [insert expletive here] then your comment will either never be approved, will get deleted or if the comment does somehow make it through, you’ll find that the people who do click over to your site are coming to flame you. That ebook you wanted to sell to them? Not going to happen.

That’s pretty much the basics of etiquette covered. If you can avoid those comment faux pas you’ll be in good stead for the next part, providing good value.

Giving value like your life depends on it

This should be the easy part. People always harp on about providing value when you write blog posts. Useful, applicable, quality content will find it’s way to lots of eyeballs (with a little bit of promotion). So why is it your comments on other blogs don’t follow the same ethos?

Giving value will make you stand out from the crowd of spammers, attention seekers and commenters who don’t know why they are commenting. Here are a few guidelines to follow to ensure you always give, give, give when it comes to your comments:

• Read the article! So many people comment on articles that they haven’t even fully read or understood. It’s easily visible when the comment is clearly from someone who is only there to show others that they have a site and that they’ve commented. Sometimes the comment is not even remotely close to what the post was about. And this isn’t just from spammers. I’ve seen these types of comments by real people who simple typed out their comment on autopilot just to get something published on the blog. How can you comment if you don’t understand the content or don’t really know what the post is about? Read it, understand it, and add your own slant to it in the comments.
• “Thanks for the post!” is not a valuable comment. I see plenty of comment real estate wasted by people just thanking the author for their post. By all means thank them for the post but you have to add your two cents worth as well. A “comment” by definition is a statement that expresses a personal opinion or belief or adds information. Give a thoughtful comment that adds to the discussion, offers alternative understanding or a personal experience that goes against the original article. Whatever you do, make sure that other people reading the article will be able to take what you use to learn more or continue to evolve the original content. Doesn’t that sound a lot better than a simple, “Thanks.”?
• Back up your opposing opinions. If you disagree with the post then you should be in a position to say why you disagree. It comes back to the flaming point above. Simply saying, “This post completely sucks, Ian! You know nothing about what it takes to be a successful commenter.” is not giving value to anyone. It’s not necessarily flaming, but it’s not exactly doing the discussion any favours. If you have facts you can cite, or personal opinions and experiences that have led you to believe something different, then use these to put your point across. With a little discussion, your personal beliefs may evolve and you find yourself believing something different. Maybe I do know what it takes to be a successful commenter?
• Did the post miss something? Many people comment on the article itself and use this as the basis for opinions and discussion when sometimes what is really needed is to discuss what the article didn’t cover. When I wrote How to Tip Like A Gentleman it caused a massive storm among readers who wanted me to change the article to include things I had missed. I completely skipped over whether or not people in the service industry should even get paid tips and that caused a huge debate within the 373 comments that I could never have predicted. Sometimes adding what’s missing is the best way to bring value to the conversation.

Hopefully that should be enough to get you going with providing value in your comments. You want to keep your comments in the same tone as your blog so that when they arrive on your site they know what to expect in the way your articles are written. I seem to have a unique blend of formal writing, humour (or at least an attempt at it), and a subtle undercurrent of sarcasm and disdain. Find out what works for you and stick with it.

The final piece of the Comment Code of Conduct is Discussion. It ties in nicely with Value but it needs it’s own point to really drive home the message that commenting is not a one and done strategy. If you’re trying to build a community, you need to immerse yourself in other communities as well.

Build your community through comment discussions

Many bloggers wrongly believe that once you’ve left a comment on another blog, you’re done. But that was the old you. The you that didn’t understand why using stupid keywords for your name, not worrying about spelling or punctuation, posting a million links and simply saying “thanks” will not help you to achieve your blogging goals.

The new you knows that blogging is all about community. Now I don’t have any rules for the Discussion part of the process. All I will say is that the only guideline I have is:

Continue to add value to the conversations using proper commenting etiquette.

What I mean by this is you simply need to revisit the blogs you comment on and reply to other commenters. Reply to people that comment on your input, expand on or offer opinions to comments others have made and immerse yourself in the community of that blog.

Yes, it’s not easy and it takes time. But if you want to be a successful blogger then this is what you need to do. I personally don’t find it a chore at all because I am commenting on blogs that I already subscribe to and really enjoy. I couldn’t post a comment on a blog I didn’t enjoy simply because I wouldn’t have anything to add to it. I’m wasting my time and theirs if I do that.

How do you keep up with constant conversations?

The short answer to this is, “With great difficulty!. Honestly, keeping up with all the conversations going on in your niche/market/whatever is the hardest thing about the entire process. I sometimes comment on 10, 20 or even 30 posts on any given day and then going back and commenting on replies and so on is very time consuming!

I do it for the same reason you should be doing it: connecting with other people. If I didn’t like talking to new people, making new friends, finding worthy foes or just generally talking about the things I love with others then I don’t think I could keep it up.

The best way I have found to keep up with the comments is to subscribe to the comments on the post I commented on. I do this through the email subscription option that most blogs have enabled at the bottom of the comment box. From there, I have an email filter in GMail that moves it from an inbox into the only folder I have, cleverly named “Comments”. It keeps each post in a separate email and updates the conversation with every new comment that comes in.

You can do this via RSS but I just find email easier to manage. Do whatever feels best for you but you should be subscribing in some way to make it easy to continue the discussion.

Eventually, you’ll reach a tipping point in which you start to attract new readers without the need to comment all over the web. This happens because as you build a community who are loyal to you, you’ll get some link love from blogs, retweets on your posts and your subscribers will post links to their favourite posts on Digg, Reddit, Stumbleupon, Facebook etc bringing a hold bunch of new eyeballs to the party.

For right now though, as a newbie in this market, I definitely haven’t reach that point. Until that day, I’ll continue comment whoring to any blog that will have me!

Now, you may be forgiven for thinking that this is where this blog post ends. In fact, this is where it now begins. In the comments below I want each and every one of you reading this to add your voice to the conversation.

Do the guidelines I’ve given work for you? Have you had success with blog commenting and if so how did you do it? What did I miss from this post that could make life easier for a blogger looking to get attention through commenting?

Let’s make this post the definitive guide to blog commenting as a community! I really want to hear what you have to say so please take a few minutes to post a comment. I will definitely buy you a beer if you do! Promise.

A Blogger’s Guide to Commenting is a post from: Leash Optional