Originally posted in the Inner Field Trip® community on Patreon on October 11, 2022

At 3:06pm Eastern on October 11, 2017, I published a post on my blog containing nine writing prompts to address spiritual bypassing, tone policing, and unconscious biases related to skin colour advantages. In just four hours, the post was shared 1,000 times. In three weeks, it was shared 10,000 times. That had NEVER happened to any of my blog posts ever – and I had been blogging since 1999.

The prompts were birthed to address a toxic interaction I (and a few others) had with a racist, xenophobic, and misogynistic man who has influence over a large coaching community. I had used expressive writing (also known as narrative therapy, therapeutic journaling, write to heal, or reflective journaling) to address complex emotions and heal intergenerational wounds. When I offered them to him, he rejected the prompts. I posted them on my blog instead. 

The nine writing prompts were referenced in many articles, books, and internal documents. It was shared tens of thousands of times since 2017. Here’s what happened after that blog post went viral:

• My social platforms grew organically on both Instagram and YouTube (this is one GenXer who does NOT use Facebook).
• I launched an online community where I publish new journaling prompts and hold expressive arts classes. To date, I’ve written close to 300 writing prompts and recorded hundreds of hours of video and audio content that have been expanded into courses.
• I launched a multi-city tour in 2019 that was backed, financially, by patrons (that’s what community members are called in the Inner Field Trip® community and will change to Brave Trekkers once we move to a new app). This allowed me to meet my community in person AND see how people react to the Inner Field Trip® framework in person. So many lessons learned.
• The Inner Field Trip® process is being published in a workbook and card deck format by Row House Publishing (workbook is set to be published in November 2023).
• Being the Online Community Manager and Founder for Inner Field Trip® inspired me to pursue graduate studies in counselling psychology. I’m learning that many of the tools I have been using to help patrons meet their Inner Oppressor so they can become better ancestors are based on therapeutic modalities. It’s no wonder that some of my patrons who are social workers and therapists have told me that I’d make a great therapist!

These professional accomplishments don’t capture my personal successes which are too many to mention. I will say that meeting myself and my Inner Oppressor made me more compassionate, less rigid, and more accepting, not only of others, but also of myself.

In the five years since writing that viral blog post, I learned one incredibly important thing…

When I wrote that blog post, it was in response to a single individual. Yet, in the years since that blog post went viral, I noticed that the same behaviours show up in people no matter their social, ethnic, biological, or behavioural identities (SEBBIs for short). All of us, including me, engage in identity-based oppression unconsciously or consciously that hurt or harm other people.

It is our duty to develop a daily self-reflection practice to address what we don’t know lies within us. Going years without engaging in compassionate self-inquiry can calcify toxic beliefs in our bones, nervous system, muscles, and cells. That feeling becomes so intensely gross, we end up disconnecting from our bodies, the very place where wisdom resides. When we are cut off from our bodies, our ego uses facts, statistics, intellectualization, and rationalization to convince ourselves that everything is okay. Yet, this constant need to hide how we truly feel leaves us feeling tired, tense, and trapped.

For this reason, I no longer critique people; I now critique patterns…

Patterns are what we resort to when we’re feeling activated and agitated. Some of those patterns are healthy. For example, if you’re feeling irritated, you may see that as a sign to go for a walk or take a break. For most of us, however, we are no longer in tune with what activates us and no longer have the words to describe what we’re feeling. We’ve lost our somatic literacy (the ability to read, decipher, and name our body sensations) a long time ago and walk around doing whatever the dominant culture wants us to do.

Like the Bloater who appeared in Season 1, Episode 5 of The Last of Us, the problem can be buried, but it doesn’t go away. It just grows in the darkness until it finally bursts through to the surface. You rely on quick fixes to make the problem disappear, but it only gets worst.

To change the individual, we need to change the culture…

Each individual needs to do their own work because cultures are made up of people. An individual can be changed by an experience, then return to their environment and resume their bad habits. That’s why the work of decolonizing, deconstructing, and deprogramming is both/and.

People are a result of the environments they were raised in, the cultures that socialized them, and the people that raised them. There are also biological, systematic, and psychological factors that can shape a person’s worldview, beliefs, behaviours, and actions.

I’m thankful to my community of patrons and my studies in counselling psychology for making me even more aware of the multiple factors contributing to our biases, beliefs, worldviews, and behaviours. My curiosity is now heightened and I lean into that more than trying to figure someone out. I prefer that people tell me who they are because that is a much more fun and exciting exercise. I’m deeply interested in how people describe themselves and the experiences that have shaped who they are today. That can only happen if I ask questions, listen intently, and reflect back what I’m hearing them say. These are skills I already possessed that have only become better due to my process of self-reflection.

Of course, I do protect myself. There are some who are closed-minded and cling to their oppressive and dehumanizing beliefs. If my safety is at risk, I stay away and do not engage. It is also not my duty to educate people using my trauma as a teaching tool. In the opening statement of a book entitled Fatty Legs, one of the co-authors, Christy Jordan-Fenton, reminds readers that Indigenous people have a Right to Silence regarding their experience in residential schools. This Right to Silence can also be invoked by Black people who do not wish to share racial trauma, harassment, or violence.

We have A LOT to do to change culture…

A culture based on curiosity, compassion, cooperation, and community feels more nourishing than one based on competition, rigidity, judgement, and rugged individualism. We can get there. Some actions you can take:

• The journaling prompts I offer here and in the upcoming workbook are just a few ways to develop a self-reflective practice.
• This post also offers additional ways to continue interrogating your Inner Oppressor and the unconscious biases you may hold.
• Working with a therapist, mental health professional, or counsellor can help you address the differences between what you believe and how you behave.
• Making a commitment to being in community with those working towards a pro-human, pro-equity, and pro-inclusion world.

Small changes done today may not take shape until generations from now. Be patient because personal exploration done today leads to collective liberation and generational healing tomorrow. It’s time to pass on healing and not harm. Let’s become better ancestors!

The post The BIG Lesson I Learned 5-Years After That Viral Blog Post appeared first on Leesa Renée Hall.

I’m going to include the quote in my workbook and I wanted to make sure that I give credit where credit is due. I don’t believe that I coined the phrase, but I strung these words together after being inspired by The Nap Ministry. And yet, I wanted to be extra extra sure that I’ve done my due diligence.

Another reason I’ve also come back to this quote is because an account on Instagram posted the following in November 2022 illustrated by Dani DiPirro: “Rest is not a reward for progress. Rest is part of progress.”

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Dani DiPirro (@positivelypresent)

I don’t have a problem with people writing words; what I have a problem with is when people write them as if they came up with it out of the blue. Even if they did create a phrase through inner wisdom guidance, they should do some research to see if someone came up with something similar so there are no misunderstandings.

So, that’s what I did.

First, I entered “rest is not a reward” in a search engine. I found many blog posts with that very phrase. Most went into a lengthy explanation as to what that means. None were short and punchy as my Nap Ministry inspired quote.

I then found an article stating that in November 2021, a post on Twitter by coolurbanhippie (real name is Eso Tolson) went viral around rest and not needing to earn it.

As I continued my search, I found another tweet, this time posted in April 2021 by Dr. Phillip L. Pointer, Sr., an Arkansas-based pastor that more closely resembles the quote I came up with six months later.

To be honest, I believe I started using the phrase around the same time as Dr. Pointer, however, I can’t find physical evidence to prove that point.

So, how does a researcher handle this issue?

It can be argued that the good doctor was the first to coin this phrase. When using this quote in my workbook, I will continue to say that it was inspired by The Nap Ministry. Even though I did not find out about Dr. Pointer until just now, I’d also credit him since his use of the phrase predated mine.

For Eso and Dani, their use of the phrase came after mine so I won’t need to credit them for inspiring me since that would be impossible. I can’t be inspired by someone’s words if I they wrote them after I did 😉

The post Rest isn’t a reward for the work; it’s part of the work – A timeline of this quote appeared first on Leesa Renée Hall.

First, a backgrounder on how S.M.A.R.T. goals were established…

In a November 1981, an article entitled There’s a S.M.A.R.T. way to write management’s goals and objectives appeared in a journal called Management Review. Written by George T. Doran, he argued that:

“The establishment of objectives and the development of their respective action plans are the most critical steps in a company’s management process. Objectives [or goals] give quantitative support and expression to management’s beliefs.”

Doran, 1981, p. 35

The S.M.A.R.T. acronym, mentioned in a trade publication just over 40-years ago, captured the attention of those outside of management. Today, it is used by academics, teachers, coaches, parents, and influencers, just to name a few, to bring actionable meaning to personal and professional goals.

My challenge with S.M.A.R.T. goals…

I’ve had an uneasy relationship with setting S.M.A.R.T. goals. First, I find setting goals following this acronym to be rigid and constricting. I work better when there is fluidity and space to adjust the specificity and measurability of a goal should I encounter an obstacle.

The other challenge I have with S.M.A.R.T. goals is the emphasis on self-reliance and inner drive without taking external factors into account. If I fail at accomplishing a goal, is it due to my lack of motivation or a lack of access to resources?

A Culturally Responsive & Socially Just (CRSJ) critique of S.M.A.R.T. goals…

The Culturally Responsive and Socially Just (CRSJ) counselling framework is a theory introduced by Dr. Sandra Collins, a professor of counselling psychology in the Graduate Centre for Applied Psychology at Athabasca University. CRSJ finds its roots in the Multicultural Counselling Competencies (MCC) and Multicultural and Social Justice Counseling Competencies (MSJCC) frameworks (Singh et al., 2020; Sue et al., 1992).

Although the MSJCC and the CRSJ frameworks appear similar, they differ in that MSJCC has a singular view of multiculturalism and does not include the intersection of multiple cultural identities, such as sexual orientation, religion, and gender identity (Killian, 2018, p. 5). However, that is changing. MSJCC is expanding to include an intersection of identity-based oppressions beyond race and racism (Pedersen & Ratts, 2014).

CRSJ “guides counsellors, psychologists, social workers, and other helping professionals to develop cultural competency by enhancing cultural self-awareness, cultural humility, and cultural sensitivity in the context of anti-oppressive and values-based practice principles” (Collins, 2021). As counsellors become more culturally aware, “they gain insight into how oppression affects people’s lives and the way in which systemic inequities lead to internalized oppression” (Pedersen & Ratts, 2014, p. 10).

A culturally responsive and socially just approach acknowledges systemic, political, environmental, and intersectional factors that could prevent a person from setting a S.M.A.R.T. goal…

There are external factors preventing the individual from sticking to their S.M.A.R.T. goal and this must be acknowledged. One can have all the motivation in the world, however, if they don’t have the finances or are prevented from accessing resources due to oppression, marginalization, or bias, the absence of access could set them up for failure if they’re relying on self-reliance.

One could say that the A and the R – achievable and realistic – is where one would capture any limitations to the successful completion of a S.M.A.R.T. goal. I don’t disagree. However, I believe that we need to call a thing a thing and be more intentional in capturing external factors which may be outside of our control that could become a barrier. We should do this, not to make excuses, but to plan for any obstacles that may come up.

Through a culturally responsive and socially just lens, I propose that we create S.M.A.R.T.E.R. goals…

I did not originate the expansion of S.M.A.R.T. to S.M.A.R.T.E.R. Some have added an E and R to the acronym to refer to the following:

• Evaluate and recognize (several sources)
• Evaluate and revise (Quantum Workplace)
• Ecological and reward (A Daring Adventure)
• Ethical and reviewable (IEEE Houston)

I propose that the E and R in S.M.A.R.T.E.R. refer to Equitable and Self-Reflection. I’ll explain each below.

E = Equitable

The Management Center, based in Washington D.C., added Equitable to the S.M.A.R.T.I.E. acronym (the I is for Inclusion). It states that:

By incorporating an equity and inclusion component to your SMART goals, you can make sure your organization’s commitment to racial equity and inclusion is anchored by tangible and actionable steps.

The Management Center, 2021, https://www.managementcenter.org/resources/smartie-goals-worksheet/

Disclosure Statement

I’ve written this post while a graduate student in a counselling psychology program and have included content from a paper I wrote, A Culturally Responsive & Socially Just Critique of Jungian Theory.

References

Collins, S. (2021). Culturally responsive and socially just counselling: Teaching and learning guide. Press Books. https://crsjbook.pressbooks.com/

Doran, G. T. (1981). There’s a S.M.A.R.T. way to write management’s goals and objectives. Management Review, 70(11), 35–36.

Killian, T. S. (2018). Counselor-trainees’ readiness for multicultural competency and social justice advocacy (Doctoral dissertation). Scholarship & Creative Works @ Digital UNC. https://digscholarship.unco.edu/dissertations/430

Pedersen, P. B., & Ratts, M. J. (2014). Counseling for multiculturalism and social justice: Integration, theory, and application (4th Ed.). American Counseling Association.

Singh, A. A., Nassar, S. C., Arredondo, P., & Toporek, R. (2020). The past guides the future: Implementing the multicultural and social justice counseling competencies. Journal of Counseling & Development, 98(3), 238–252. https://doi.org/10.1002/jcad.12319

Sue, D. W., Arredondo, P., & McDavis, R. J. (1992). Multicultural counseling competencies and standards: A call to the profession. Journal of Counseling & Development, 70(4), 477-486. https://doi.org/10.1002/j.1556-6676.1992.tb01642.x

Citation (APA 7th)

Hall, L. R. (2022). The key problem setting S.M.A.R.T. goals through a culturally responsive and socially just lens. [add url]

The post The Key Problem Setting S.M.A.R.T. Goals Through a Culturally Responsive & Socially Just Lens appeared first on Leesa Renée Hall.

But when kindness is used as a tool to guilt someone into abandoning their anger around injustice, or pressure someone into loosening their boundaries, or ridiculing someone to dump their self-care practices, this is weaponized kindness.

Weaponized kindness is:

❌ Being friendly to shut down conversations around injustice

❌ Demanding something in return for being a decent human being

❌ Being concerned for others, but only if they share your social, ethnic, and/or biological identities

❌ Providing criticism with a smile to injure or harm

#WeaponizedKindness is rooted in a lack of empathy for self. You cannot love your neighbour as yourself if you lack self-compassion. All you can do is hate your neighbour as you hate yourself.

One way to start building empathy for you is to self-reflect. Meet your #InnerOppressor with curiosity. Capture its rambling on a page. Sit with what was revealed. Repeat for as many times as you need to. Be in communion with others also doing the inner work so you have a soft place to land.

Then, you’ll be able to practice kindness that’s rooted in:

✅ Friendliness & warmth
✅ Being helpful without seeking praise or a reward
✅ Concern when others are suffering no matter what they look like
✅ Giving feedback to help others do better
✅ Holding empathy for self

Share (with attribution), save, tag someone, make a quote graphic, whatevs.

Questions for reflection

What else would you add to the weaponized kindness side? What are things people say that can clue you in that they’re practicing weaponized kindness?

Quoted in Do Better by Rachel Ricketts

I first wrote about weaponized kindness here and republished it with an infographic here. In her book called Do Better: Spiritual Activism for Fighting and Healing from White Supremacy, bestselling author Rachel Ricketts wrote about weaponized kindness and identified that I coined it. Given that back in 2019, I did not find any blog posts, articles, or videos using the term weaponized kindness, it is correct to say that I coined the term. When referring to this post or writing about weaponized kindness, please attribute the term to me please see the update below.

UPDATE (2023, February 7): I did some follow-up research on weaponized kindness while writing a chapter for my book (Row House, 2023) and found a couple of resources that used the term prior to 2019 when I posted about the term on Instagram (November 17 to be exact). On September 30, 2017, Sleep With Me Podcast had an episode entitled Weaponized Kindness. A year prior to that on March 18, 2016, this blogger used the term weaponized kindness in the title of a post. Although I was one of the earlier users of the term, I could not have coined it if it were being used in the same context prior to when I posted about it.

APA (7th ed.) Citation

Hall, L. H. (2022, January 16). Kindness vs weaponized kindness: What’s the difference? https://leesareneehall.com/kindness-vs-weaponized-kindness-whats-the-difference/

The post Kindness vs Weaponized Kindness: What’s the Difference? appeared first on Leesa Renée Hall.

NOTE: If you’re a patron in my community, login there to get the guided prompts. If you’re not a patron, you can become one.

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What to do if you’re feeling low

If after journaling you’re feeling really low, please seek the help of a mental health professional. In the video below, I give some tips on the clues to look for if your mental health is not in a good place.

The post The Great Opt Out Manifesto: Why I Just Cannot Return to Normal and What I Want Instead (Contains Guided Prompts for Journaling) appeared first on Leesa Renée Hall.

The post Ow, Canada: A 13-Day Reflective Journaling Challenge to Explore What We Don’t Know About the Legacy of Residential Schools in Canada appeared first on Leesa Renée Hall.

The post Meet Your Inner Oppressor: The Part of You That Bullies, Guilts, and Tempts You Into Submitting to the Dominant Culture appeared first on Leesa Renée Hall.

Stumble bravely.
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You will not have all the answers.⁣
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Stumble bravely.⁣
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You will be called out for doing harm.⁣
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Even after you’ve read the anti-racism book, watched the anti-racism film, and protested loudly about yet another man or woman of African descent becoming a hashtag.⁣
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Stumble bravely.⁣
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You will discover that even as a nice, polite, and kind person, you harbour destructive and damaging biases buried deep within your inner terrain.⁣
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Stumble bravely.⁣
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Change is messy.⁣
⁣
It’s chaotic.⁣
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It’s imperfect, filled with flaws, and complicated.⁣
⁣
Stumble bravely in spite of, because of, and in defiance of.⁣
⁣
If you’re ready to stumble bravely, click here to see when the next Inner Field Trip departs.
⁣
Do you have the courage to stumble?

The post Stumble Bravely: Why You Will Absolutely Fail In Your Quest to Become Anti-Racist, Anti-Biased, and Anti-Oppressive – And Why You Must Keep Going appeared first on Leesa Renée Hall.

I thought I was supposed to be expressive, boisterous, and loud with my disdain for the system that oppresses, depresses, and suppresses human due to nothing more than a function of biology.

So, I went to the marches.

I argued with people online who tried to deny my lived experience.

I participated in online call-outs whenever someone with a large platform committed an act of oppression.

Although I felt like I was doing something for the greater good, I was drained, depleted, and slightly depressed…

My nervous system and body were in a constant state of alertness which only exhausted me further.

Soon, I found myself disengaging. I just could NOT any longer. If this is what I had to put my body through to activate for change, I wanted nothing to do with it.

You may be like me – eager to fight for a better world, yet feeling tense and tired after engaging in social justice causes…

There are some of us who get overly stimulated by loud sounds, heightened energy, weather patterns, and boisterous voices. Thus, sit-ins, violence on videos, and highly charged conversations around oppression can cause you to withdraw and hide.

Worst, you tell yourself that you’re not good enough and return to the comforts of your life, preferring to put up with a culture that also oppresses you rather than harm your nervous system, cells, and bones.

Stop using your sensitivities as an excuse! Instead, embrace your sensitivities and start using it as a strength…

Being overstimulated while engaging in social justice causes may mean that you’re a person with a gentle, quiet, and highly sensititive personality. This simply means that you have to find a more sustainable way to engage in anti-oppressive work.

If you’re not familiar with the term Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), it was coined by Dr. Elaine Aron. This image by crazyheadcomics captures some of the other traits of being a HSP:

As you can see, because HSP feel deeply, care deeply, and process deeply, they can become overly stimulated, causing their body and emotions to shut down.

I also understand that those with gentle, quiet, and sensitive personalities really want to use their privilege to stand with (not for) those with marginalized identities…

You may be asking yourself:

How can I advocate for causes I believe in?

How can I stand with those who are marginalized, like me, and demand justice?

How can I release the guilt around not doing anything when everything stimulates my senses to the point of exhaustion?

How can I continue to prioritize those who are suffering due to systemic biases while making the work of exploring my unconscious biases less tiring?

In other words, how can I withdraw to regenerate without withdrawing to hide?

If you have a gentle, quiet, and highly sensitive personality, you may be…

…looking for a sustainable way to advocate for causes you believe in and stand with (not for) marginalized people without abandoning them due to your sensitivities.

Whether you’re a highly sensitive person of African descent, European descent, Pacific Islander descent, Middle Eastern descent, East Asian descent, South Asian descent, Baltic descent, Scandinavian descent, or a mix of of several ancestries, you have a strong desire to do the work of becoming anti-biased and anti-oppressive without using your quiet and gentle personality as an excuse to disengage and withdraw.

First, let me ask you this…

Are you courageous enough to have a tough conversation – with yourself? If yes:

It’s time to STOP using your sensitive nature and anxieties as an excuse and START interrupting your obedience to a culture of oppression.

You’re invited to go on an Inner Field Trip™ with me, Leesa, as your Tour Guide…

Not everyone can explore their unconscious biases the same way. Some read books and watch films to understand systemic and unconscious biases. Others attend marches and sit-ins to help them affect change. Others need to be in a room, sharing their thoughts through an invigorating conversation.

But there’s a small percentage of people who need to sit with themselves without being observed or evaluated so they can work through their hidden prejudices and stereotypes on their own and at their own pace.

You’ll know that you’re a Highly Sensitive Person who really wants to stand on the side of justice if you agree with any of these statements…

If you nodded “Yes” to any of the statements above…

Going on an Inner Field Trip™ is one way to stay focused, accountable, and committed…

The Inner Field Trip™ is a 10-day virtual journey, hosted inside my community on Patreon once a quarter, where you use guided prompts developed by me through my year long process to decolonize and deconstruct my social and biological identities, along with stream of consciousness writing, a process where you write in an uncensored, unfiltered, and unedited way, so you explore your hidden prejudices and stereotypes.

All I can do is guide you along the journey…

I do not make any promises, for example:

• I don’t promise that you’ll get the Best Ally of the Year award (no such thing exists BTW and you cannot call yourself an ally).

• I don’t promise that you’ll be cured of your racism or sexism or homophobia or other oppressive behaviour (that’s not possible anyways and anyone promising that is setting you up for failure).

• I also don’t promise that you’ll say perfect things and behave in a perfect way by going on an Inner Field Trip™ (you’ll stumble along the way and make mistakes because that’s part of growth).

Here’s what’s possible after going on an Inner Field Trip™ based on patron feedback…

Frequently asked questions answered…

Ready to depart?

Click on the image below to become a patron and start the preparation to go on an Inner Field Trip™ guided by me, Leesa, and joined by hundreds and hundreds of Highly Sensitive People. You can pay-what-you-want from four pre-select amounts.

As your Tour Guide, I look forward to being your navigator as we embark on a quest to explore our unconscious biases in a sustainable, yet messy and uncomfortable way.

The post Inner Field Trip™: Helping Those With Gentle, Quiet, and Highly Sensitive Personalities Explore Unconscious Biases So They Protect Their Energy, Stand on the Side of Justice, and Become Better Ancestors (Next One Departing Soon) appeared first on Leesa Renée Hall.

“How do you protect your energy as a person who identifies as highly sensitive?”

– my colleague

It was a question that took me a few months to answer because I wasn’t sure. How have I been able to reclaim my sensitivities after hiding it for so long, yet protect them whenever I interact with people in sensory stimulating environments, such as churches, restaurants, networking events, and sporting events?

It wasn’t until the pandemic hit and I, along with most people around the world, was faced with extreme amounts of uncertainty that my process of protection became very clear. The longer the pandemic lasted, the more I needed to rely on my rituals to shield me from misinformation, Zoom fatigue, and online spaces that suddenly became very noisy as millions turned to social media websites to create a virtual stage.

How do I continue to interact with a changing world without losing my connection to my gentle, quiet, and highly sensitive personality? Below are 7 things I use to protect my sensitive energy. These 7 things are not THE way to shield yourself as a highly sensitive, they are suggested ways to do so.

You can adopt all 7 in your life, or choose the one that speaks to you the most. Whichever one you choose, make it your own. The more you’re able to protect your energy, the stronger your boundaries become.

(If you’re not familiar with the term highly sensitive person (HSP) coined by Dr. Elaine Aron, click here to read more)

1) Prioritize Your Self-Care

It is so hard for HSP to protect their mental and physical wellness as they are so used to putting other people first. It may feel weird to put yourself first, but because HSP absorb everything, it’s critical that they carve out time to release anxiety from their mind, body, and cells.

There are many self-care practices you can use. Manicures and massages are often what some think are self-care practices, but that’s not all. Self-care is also about:

• getting enough sleep
• walking away from toxic people and projects
• dancing to music
• or simply refusing invitations to yet another social event.

Adopt the self-care practice that aligns with your lifestyle, budget, and personality.

2) Go on an Inner Field Trip™

HSP don’t like being watched, examined, or evaluated when attempting a task. Nowhere is this true than in a workshop room or classroom, especially one focused on anti-racism or anti-oppressive training. Participating in group circles where they have to share their experience can be both a nerve-wrecking and anxiety-inducing event.

Exploring the crevices of their complex, deep, and nuanced inner terrain is exactly what an HSP needs to protect their energy during uncertain times. Known as an Inner Field Trip™, HSP can embark on an internal journey using their pen and guided questions to write about their cultural conditioning and generational programming in a stream-of-consciousness way.

Click here and become a patron so you know when the next Inner Field Trip begins.

3) Know What You’re Saying Yes to (so Your No Is Easy)

HSPs suffer from a disease to please (this is the title of a book authored by the late Dr. Harriet Braiker) and feel responsible for other people’s happiness. Defining your values can help you know what you’re saying yes to so your no is easy (quote from Willam Ury’s book Power of Positive No). 

4) Get Answers from the Past

HSP tend to avoid looking into the past because they are reminded of their mistakes. Yet, looking back is essential to understanding what was done well and what can be improved. The past isn’t just about personal memories; it’s also about accessing the wisdom of elders in your family, as well as interrogating your cultural conditioning.

Start off with reframing your relationship with the past. See the past as a way to get back to the basics and rediscover your wholeness. Use the past as a way to redefine your values and your moral code.

5) Listen to Your Body

Being overwhelmed and overstimulated due to loud sounds, a noisy room, raucous chatter, strong scents, and coarse fabric creates anxiety in the nervous system, cells, bones for HSP. The ongoing battle between staying in the discomfort of a social setting vs the need to escape takes a toll on the body.

Honouring what your body needs and planning in advance is a way HSP can protect their energy. For example, if you know you shut down after 90-minutes of consistent social interaction (eg. your smile disappears, speech becomes choppy, and exhaustion sets in), be sure to honour your timing. Your body doesn’t lie and tuning into its rhythms will help you protect your energy.

6) Adapt Your Routines to the New Reality

Hectic and demanding schedules, and unrealistic demands during times of crisis, can be frightening for HSP. HSP need to keep a predictable schedule to avoid shocking their nervous system with surprises.

As the pandemic set in and people began to shelter-in-place, what kept me grounded were my first five routines until I was able to figure out what would be the new reality. It took about three weeks for me to get used to the new routine. Once I did, I was able to adjust in a way that didn’t shock my nervous system.

Be gentle with yourself as you adjust to the new reality. Slow down and process what’s going on around you. Do not be in such a rush to satisfy someone else’s demands. Pause to reflect, so you can take in the changes without putting your nervous system into overdrive.

7) Ground Yourself in Nature

I do some of my best thinking while walking amongst the trees along a trail or river. I often get profound clarity while listening to the animals, birds, and insects. It’s in nature that I’m reminded of my limited time on this planet and helps me focus on the legacy I’m leaving behind.

There is a field of study called ecopshychology where researchers look at the effects of nature on a person’s mental wellness. Studies have found that spending two hours a week in nature can lower blood pressure and reduce nervous system arousal. Many of my patrons, who identify as HSP, will do reflectively writing next to a tree so they can tap into its protection and strength.

Getting an ounce of Vitamin N (title of Richard Louv’s book) and making it a priority each day can help HSP lessen their irritability after spending too much time with people. Ditch the social gathering, and instead, walk or sit amongst nature.

Next Step

These tips were written before my community on Instagram grew by 15,000+ new followers in less than 10-days. Most are following me because they’re looking for information on how to become anti-biased and anti-oppressive.

Part of anti-bias work is to strengthen your boundaries simply because you can’t join every fight, nor can you engage in every conversation. My goal is to help highly sensitive people STOP using their sensitivities as an excuse NOT to engage in anti-bias work, and instead, use a method to help them explore their biases on a consistent basis. I’m not looking for drive-by allies – here today and gone tomorrow once their favourite retailer announces their going-out-of-business bankruptcy sale. I’m looking to help those with gentle, quiet, and highly sensitive personalities make unpacking of unconscious biases a sacred, daily practice.

There are a few writing prompts inside my community on Patreon you can use to help you explore the root of your inability to set better boundaries. Click here to join. You can pay what you want (from four pre-select amounts) and for as long as you want (I recommend staying a patron for at least six months).

Note on Sharing

Yes, you can share this infographic. If you do, you MUST share it without editing the image in any way. It’s far easier – and cheaper – to give attribution than to steal, plunder, or exploit the intellectual labour of a person of African descent.

Illustration by the talented @ohhappydani

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