Legal Humour

You’re under arrest, if you please

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 17:15:00 PST

David Chen is the owner of a produce market called Lucky Moose Market, in Toronto’s downtown Chinatown. One Anthony Bennett, who has been habitually stealing from merchants in the area, paid the Lucky Moose a visit and made off with a tray of flowers. When Bennett returned an hour or so later for a second round of thievery, the owner and two employees apprehended him, tied him up and then called police. Instead of getting a citizen’s medal, Chen was charged with kidnapping, assault and carrying a concealed weapon, to wit, a box cutter. All of this happened a few

Legal Humour News - November 2, 2009

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 16:40:00 PST

Odd or Amusing Legal Headlines from the Past Week (or Two):Note - No implied endorsement of, or affiliation with, any linked sites. We assume no responsibility for the content of such Web sites and your use of such Web sites is at your own risk.1 - See You In Court!Judge pleads guilty to letting air out of tire A Maryland judge has apologized for engaging in a bit of vigilante justice when he let the air out of the tire of a courthouse employee who parked in a restricted area. http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2009/10/28/11559276-ap.html Inmate sues over lousy shoes Call him Shoeless Joe,

What colour is your runaway balloon?

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 19:45:00 PDT

Richard Heene may be in big trouble. Authorities are on his case after the Colorado man, in order to gain some media attention, supposedly concocted that story about his six year old son Falcon being lifted off in a helium balloon. I believe police should pursue the matter in order to act as general deterrence to others who have similar ideas. After all, there are just too much of these bogus balloons taking off with kids reports taking place that the police cannot get their other work done. In fact, a typical shift for 911 receptionists sounds like this:

Legal Humour News - October 19, 2009

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 18:45:00 PDT

Odd or Amusing Legal Headlines from the Past Week (or Two):Note - No implied endorsement of, or affiliation with, any linked sites. We assume no responsibility for the content of such Web sites and your use of such Web sites is at your own risk.1 - See You In Court! NYC neighbour sues Madonna over loud music One of Madonna's New York neighbours says the superstar's loud music and frequent dance sessions are causing a commotion. Karen George, of Manhattan, lives above Madonna in a building on Central Park. She said in a lawsuit filed Friday against the building's co-op

At the end of the day, whatever

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 15:30:00 PDT

A survey in the U.S. examined the most hated words and phrases currently in use. The number one nod went to the word, “whatever”. Almost half the people interviewed listed "whatever" as the word that pissed them off the most. Other words in the top five were, “anyway”, “you know”, “it is what it is”, and “at the end of the day”. I'm sure the list also included the words, "like", "no problem", and "hey". Actually I have no problem with any of these words or phrases. As Humpty Dumpty once said, “Words mean what I choose them to mean,

Hot Hotdogs

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 18:50:00 PDT

This was not Antonio Judd’s week. He went over to a guy munching a hotdog in a park in Worcester, Mass. He demanded that the man give him his hotdog, claiming he had a gun. That was a very expensive hotdog as Antonio Judd was charged with larceny of the person and a judge slammed him for 18 months. This lends some credibility to the frequent admonitions my late mom used to give me about how hotdogs were no good for you. I’d say Massachusetts is no place to take lightly. Isn’t that the state that used to burn

Legal Humour News - October 5, 2009

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 18:35:00 PDT

Odd or Amusing Legal Headlines from the Past Week (or Two):Note - No implied endorsement of, or affiliation with, any linked sites. We assume no responsibility for the content of such Web sites and your use of such Web sites is at your own risk.1 - See You In Court! Man sues BofA for "1,784 billion, trillion dollars" Dalton Chiscolm is unhappy about Bank of America's customer service -- really, really unhappy. Chiscolm in August sued the largest U.S. bank and its board, demanding that "1,784 billion, trillion dollars" be deposited into his account the next day. He also demanded

Madmen and Fools

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 07:40:00 PDT

It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad world. Muammar Gaddafi thrilled the U.N. General Assembly recently by turning an anticipated 15 minute speech into a one and a half hour wild and crazy rant. Too bad we lawyers do not get some of the latitude he was accorded. Can you just see him doing our job and doing an opening to the jury:Members of the jury. My client got hit by the defendant, damn him. The defendant was driving a car, which is an imperialist invention. The accident interfered with my client’s career plans as a result of the actions of

Glue, Garth and Grouches

Sun, 23 Aug 2009 17:45:00 PDT

Squeaky Fromme, who tried to assassinate President Ford 34 years ago, is getting out of jail. She is being replaced by Garth Drabinsky, former Livent boss, who is going to jail on fraud charges for 7 years. This has not been a good few days for lawyer Edward Greenspan, who saw client Karl Heinz Schreiber summarily deported to Germany and Garth Drabinsky sent to a different kind of theatre. When interviewed by the media, Eddie, the perennial optimist said, “At least Conrad Black only got 6 years.” Nor was this Donessa Hood-Davis’s week. He went to a motel in Stockbridge, Wisconsin

Legal Humour News - August 24, 2009

Sun, 23 Aug 2009 17:35:00 PDT

Odd or Amusing Legal Headlines from the Past Week (or Two):Note - No implied endorsement of, or affiliation with, any linked sites. We assume no responsibility for the content of such Web sites and your use of such Web sites is at your own risk.1 - See You In Court!Woman sues zoo over splashing dolphinsA woman is suing a Chicago-area zoo for a 2008 fall near a dolphin exhibit, accusing zookeepers of encouraging the mammals to splash water and then failing to protect spectators from wet surfaces. The plaintiff is demanding more than $50,000 for lost wages, medical expenses and