Lesbian Mommy

Hate Mail Vol. 1 "Ending Up Pregnant"

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Phineas) — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 19:34:00 +0000

I've decided to start a new column here on Lesbian Mommy with all of the ignorant emails that I get.

My hopes in doing this is that others who have to face the same questions can see how I handled it for ideas on to how to handle their own encounters with ignorance... enjoy!

Hi,
I'm a lesbian who ended up on your blog by mistake and I ended up reading it and wanted to comment on it.
You seem to be the type of person who "chose" to be a lesbian because of a dysfunctional past as well as issues with men. Proof of that is you keep saying you "became" a lesbian. Real lesbians don't become lesbian, they simpler are. It's not something they choose because they've had problems with men.
Secondly, you being in a relationship with a big butch is more proof that you're not really gay. A lesbian is a woman who loves other women. When you love women, you love them the way they are. Women are not masculine and don't look like men.
There are unfortunately many women like you who seem to view lesbianism as some alternative lifestyle choice and then you meet them later on and they have returned to heterosexuality lol.
As soon as your relationship with your partner ends, you will end up back with a man. I've seen it happen a gazillion times with women who are like you. It's sad because people like you are the reason why lesbianism is rarely taken seriously.
Let me know when you get back with a man again and end up pregnant...again.

Dear #####,

I am not sure what possessed you to write such an email to another human being, but being as open minded as I am here is my reply...

Getting an email like this is very disappointing, yet I am glad that you sent it to someone like me because I am strong enough to take the criticism although it stings. I urge you to take another look at my blog and ask yourself if I am really the reason that lesbianism is rarely taken seriously. I am being open about my life and the fact that my story involves a dysfunctional past and issues with men, and the fact that I choose women rather than choosing men. So for me personally, it is a choice. Does that mean it is okay for others to discriminate against my relationship and take away my rights? I am mostly disappointed that out of the whole situation, you decided to criticize my life rather than to celebrate the fact that I was able to find my soul mate and finally be in a happy healthy relationship. Please consider that not all lesbians fit the mold that society has placed out there, and sexuality is truly fluid.

I hope that my blog shows the world that there are many different types of people in the world who are all deserving of understanding & acceptance and I would encourage you to re-think your approach to others in the LGBT community. Your words are very hurtful, and though I can take your criticism it is balanced out with praise for sharing my story with others who have gone through the same thing thinking they were alone. Other people who you share your sharp point of view with may be more sensitive to the hurtful comments you have and reply with anger.

I myself choose to wish you nothing but the best.

Sincerely,

Julie Phineas

Queen Latifah to Headline Long Beach Gay and Lesbian Pride Festival

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Phineas) — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 06:18:00 +0000

The Long Beach Gay and Lesbian Pride Festival is coming up soon, and so I went to their website to find out which weekend it will fall on since my wife and I try to attend each year. Well this year we are in for a special treat because when I visited LongBeachPride.com I saw this...

...and my mouth dropped! Queen Latifah, long time rumored celebrity lesbian, is officially set to headline the main stage at this year's Long Beach Gay and Lesbian Pride Festival on Saturday May 19th, 2012.

You can read more about this exciting news here:
Long Beach Pride To Welcome Queen Latifah

The Lesbian Mommy Android App

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Phineas) — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 09:00:00 +0000

If you have an Android Smartphone then you can get updates from Lesbian Mommy and the Adventures of a Lesbian Mom from the Lesbian Mommy App. Install the app from the Android Market directly onto your mobile phone and you will be able to keep up to date on the latest Adventures as well as find the feeds to Lesbian Mom News and Lesbian Mom Videos! Learn more at http://lesbianmommy.mobapp.at.

Gringa: A Contradictory Girlhood

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Phineas) — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 16:00:00 +0000

As a lesbian mom, I sometimes wonder what goes through the minds of my children as we live our life together.

Reading the book "Gringa: A Contradictory Girlhood", I got a glimpse into what it might be like as the child of a lesbian mom like myself through the story of author Melissa Hart...

Torn between the high socioeconomic status of her father and the bohemian lifestyle of her mother, Melissa Hart tells a compelling story of contradiction in this coming-of-age memoir. Set in 1970s Southern California, Gringa is the story of a young girl conflicted by two extremes. On the one hand theres life with her mother, who leaves her father to begin a lesbian relationship, taking Hart and her two siblings along. Hart tells of her moms new life in a Hispanic neighborhood of Oxnard, California, and how these new surroundings begin to positively shape Hart herself. At the opposite extreme is her fathers white-bread well-to-do security, which is predictable and stable and boring. Hart is made all the more fraught with frustration when a judge rules that being raised by two women is unnatural and grants her father primary custody.

Hart weaves a powerful story of fleeting moments with her mother, of her unfolding adoration of Oxnards Latino culture, and of the ways in which shes molded by the polarity of her parents worldviews. Hart is faced with opposing ideals, caught between what she is supposed to want and what she actually desires. Gringa offers a touching, reflective look at one girls struggle with the dichotomies of class, culture, and sexuality.

This book made me laugh, and it made me cry - but mostly it opened my eyes to how precious each moment is with your children when you're an out lesbian. I encourage you to buy this book and read it, then tell your other lesbian mom friends about it too. Find it on Amazon or in a bookstore near you.

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more about her by visiting her website at www.juliephineas.com.

Lessons from the Lesbian Blogger Hoax

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Phineas) — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 04:14:00 +0000

You may or may not have heard that there are fake lesbian bloggers on the loose, one of which is “Paula Brooks” the founder of the lesbian news site LezGetReal.com.

“Paula Brooks” has turned out to be a 58 year old straight man named Bill Graber. I am the co-founder of LezGetReal.com, and I spent months working side by side with Graber online to develop LezGetReal thinking he was “Paula”. I am an author and entrepreneur so in 2007 I started a blog called Lesbian Mommy because I was in the process of writing a book about how to work from home online. Paula first approached me when she left a comment on my blog and asked me to write for another lesbian website called Lesbiatopia.

After I began writing for the site “Paula” and the site owner had what I call ‘lesbian drama’ so Paula created a new site called LezGetReal.com. Because Paula was hearing impaired and had a wife who was dying with breast cancer and young twins I offered her my help. I saw the site as an opportunity to test the system I created for my book while also making a difference for lesbian rights. Paula gave me creative control of the site to grow and named me Executive Editor, so I did a lot of work recruiting other lesbian bloggers to the site and more.

Working for LezGetReal was never about the money, and from the $50 or $60 the site would make in ad clicks would be sent out as donations to hot causes at the time, or was used to grow the site.

Paula and I both shared the expenses over time, she paid for setup, and I paid for costs when the site migrated. We worked together and created columns for the writers such as Lez Travel, plus a social network and online group for our writers to communicate. We had writers come on board like lesbian authors Jove Belle, Andi Marquette and Jill Malone, plus lesbians like Amy Balliet, Lori Hahn, Niki Hutton from Dyke Drama and the owner of Spaz Talk Radio. I was waiting for approval from the Bravo Network for Top Chef Lisa Fernandes to blog with us, plus we had writers like Kathy Young from the HRC, and we’ve had contributions from lesbian activist Robin Tyler plus lesbian cartoon character Lizzy the Lezzy.

I put a lot of work into developing the site and promoting it online because we were making a difference.

The writers helped talk others out of suicide, inspired people to create organizations like Join the Impact and Equality Army, and we got the word out about stories that the mainstream media would normally leave uncovered all because of my involvement with LezGetReal. After a while Paula’s personality and mine began to clash over issues we had with the site, and when she and I began to have differences I feared she would delete the site. This would have wasted all of the work we had done to that point so in the middle of 2009 I just walked away. She continued to run the site with Bridgette LaVictoire and a few others. I began working on a network of sites I had begun while working with LezGetReal, called GayGirlsNetwork, plus I self published my book on Amazon and basically moved on.

When the story broke I was contacted by Bilerico.com who told me about the scandal and the truth about “Paula Brooks”.

As you can imagine I was taken off guard, and stunned at the news. After a few hours of shock, I decided to call and confront Bill Graber, and when I talked to him, Graber claimed that he was able to use the identity of “Paula” to gain confidence in the media that he wouldn’t have been able to get as a straight man. Graber went to great lengths to fabricate the life of Paula Brooks in order to advance his agenda of making a great news site, and real lesbians who worked with LezGetReal are hurt and outraged at Graber’s tactics, such as Graber faking the death of “Paula’s wife Debbie”.

Graber was found out because of another fake lesbian online who turned out to be a straight male named Tom McMaster.

This fact is bringing to light the issues of online identity, gay versus straight perspective and more. One of the more popular arguments is that these hoaxes are a result of straight male privilege, but what I believe is that this is an issue of lesbian visibility. Lesbians weren’t visible in history until the feminist movement allowed women to actually define their own sexuality. Thinking back about how Bill Graber passed himself off as a lesbian to other real lesbians online, the truth of the matter is that we haven’t always known what each other looks like. My own personal gaydar is so off base that I didn’t even know that I was a lesbian so I was married to a man for almost five years. Identity in the lesbian world is a sensitive issue, and there are many lesbian women who stay in the closet for safety, family, or employment reasons.

We’re also thrown off by female celebrities in the media who don’t claim the fact that they are gay; plus the lesbian community is also one that will go to great lengths to protect each other and will usually allow another lesbian to ‘come out of the closet’ on their own time. There are two female celebrities that come to mind who have been a part of the lesbian community for years, but no lesbian who knows this has ever outed them. It was part of this phenomenon that contributed to the success of Graber’s hoax, which went on for years. There has been a call for transparency in blogging, but in working with LezGetReal and now Gay Girls Network I know how important it is for some lesbians to stay in the closet and fake being straight.

Looking back I know that there were a lot of positive changes made because of the site we created.

There have been rumors online that I knew that Paula was really Bill which is false, plus I’ve been called a few choice names which I’m choosing to ignore. Ultimately there are the people who thank me for helping them and an overall consensus of gratitude for my help. If there is any moral to the story right now it’s not that you can’t trust anyone online, and it’s not that every lesbian blogger is really a straight man. The message here is that more real lesbians need to come forward and put a face on what real lesbians look like so that fake lesbians can no longer infiltrate our world.

As for me, I’ve offered to help get LezGetReal.com back on track, plus you’ll see more of me online with GayGirlsNetwork, LesbianMommy.com and more.

For more information on how Paula Brooks was discovered to be Bill Graber you can visit www.blogher.com and read the column by Liz Henry, another real lesbian online.

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more about her by visiting her website at www.juliephineas.com.

Paula Brooks Exposed As Bill Graber

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Phineas) — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 11:33:00 +0000

"Lesbian Blogger Paula Brooks"

Imagine my amazement to find that a second lesbian blogger has been exposed to be a man - Paula Brooks is really Bill Graber.

"Paula Brooks" is the founder of LezGetReal.com, a lesbian website I helped her create. The Washington Post broke the story and afterwards I was contacted by Bilerico. I was completely blown away to learn about the possibility of Paula Brooks being a fake person because I spent every day with her online for months creating LezGetReal.com.

You may remember earlier postings I did here on LesbianMommy.com which talked about Paula Brooks and LezGetReal, or LGR as some of the writers called it.


"Paula Brooks" is Bill Graber

I encouraged many of you, my readers, to become lesbian bloggers for LezGetReal and helped some really great writers publish their works on that site. The design, content, syndication and marketing took 9 months for me to complete. From the MySpace and Twitter accounts to setting up new writers, to purchasing the logo and more - much of the site came from my work. Paula told me what she liked or not and handled much of the news stories while we worked using Google chat because she was hearing impaired. When we needed to talk over the phone I talked to her father, Bill.

Thinking back on the whole journey and reading the story on Washington Post I feel used, but I am holding onto all the great things the writers have been able to inspire from LezGetReal.com.

Because the site is so heavily syndicated it has a great reach. Before I left the site in 2009 over differences between "Paula" and I, we made many significant differences for sure. I contributed over 600 articles and brought a great team of writers to the team and because of that we were able to talk a handful of lesbians away from suicide; we inspired Amy Balliett and Willow Witte to create Join the Impact back in 2008; we helped keep Shirley Tan in the country and with her wife in 2009 through writer Melanie Nathan; we helped keep Sean Kennedy's murderer off of early parole in 2009 and the site has continued to make changes because of writers like Bridgette LaVictoire and Natasia Langfelder.

My mind will be wrapping itself around this one for awhile, and I am kind of sad that her father Bill wasn't real because he was really nice.

Keep your eyes out for other fake lesbian bloggers and for fake straight bloggers too! That being said, thanks for reading this blog and I'll keep you posted on this story as it further unfolds...

UPDATE: I confronted Paula/Bill over the phone about the situation to find out how he was able to pull of this hoax. Remember that everything he says should be taken with a grain of salt, but here is the article of Graber's explanation - LezGetReal.com Co-Founder Confronts Bill Graber a.k.a “Paula Brooks”

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more about her by visiting her website at http://www.juliephineas.com/.

Video: "Marriage Matters"

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Phineas) — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 07:00:00 +0000

A mom talks about her love for her lesbian daughter, her daughter's wife, and their new son. Marriage matters because everyone deserves to be loved for who s/he is.

California Couples Continue to Wait for Equality

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Phineas) — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 07:00:00 +0000

California same-sex couples who want to get married have to wait at least another 9 months before the decision on the appeal of the overturning of Proposition 8 is made.

The 9th Circuit Court of Appeals handed down a decision March 23rd, 2011 NOT to remove the stay on the original decision to overturn Prop. 8. This means that although Proposition 8 was overturned, same-sex couples still can not apply for a marriage license until the appeal on the decision is decided. This can take up to another 9 months while there are same-sex couples who are facing life and death decisions every day without equal protection and rights.

If you would like to help continue the fight through another 9 months please help by donating $9 to the Courage Campaign using this link here.

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more about her by visiting her website at www.juliephineas.com.

Tila Tequila "It Gets Better"

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Phineas) — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 02:02:00 +0000

Tila Tequila talks about being bullied as a bisexual teen and how it affected her emotionally.

Hey Guys!

I just wanted to make a video and share a little piece of my life story with you all. I get a LOT of emails sent to me from fans asking for advice on how to handle getting bullied, or how they are so afraid to "come out," and things like that.

So I have decided to make this video to let you all know that life is so much more important, and to not let these stupid bullies get the best of you!!! I have been through a lot of hard times in my life, so I KNOW how it feels, and that's why I wanted to share this message with you all!

I really hope that whomever watching this, really stop to think and love yourself because at the end of the day, YOU ARE WORTH IT!

and please sign up for my email subscription so you aways get notified when I make a new blog post at my website: www.MissTilaOmg.com! Lots of exciting things to come so please sign up so u don't miss out on the fun!

Love
Miss Tila

Video Post: Family Time by COLAGE

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Phineas) — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 00:30:00 +0000

Media artist Jen Gilomen collaborated with COLAGE to create Family Time, a short film and participatory multimedia exhibit tracing two decades of evolution in the concept of family as experienced by people with one or more Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and/or Queer (LGBTQ) parents. Their interwoven stories reflect social changes through personal experiences with the political, legal, and social elements that most mark the LGBTQ movement. Learn more at http://colage.org/familytime.

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more about her by visiting her website at www.juliephineas.com.

Barack Obama to Sign Bill Ending Don't Ask Don't Tell

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Phineas) — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 00:14:00 +0000

A Message from The President of The United States:

Hours ago, the Senate voted to end "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

When that bill reaches my desk, I will sign it, and this discriminatory law will be repealed.

Gay and lesbian service members -- brave Americans who enable our freedoms -- will no longer have to hide who they are.

The fight for civil rights, a struggle that continues, will no longer include this one.

This victory belongs to you. Without your commitment, the promise I made as a candidate would have remained just that.

Instead, you helped prove again that no one should underestimate this movement. Every phone call to a senator on the fence, every letter to the editor in a local paper, and every message in a congressional inbox makes it clear to those who would stand in the way of justice: We will not quit.

This victory also belongs to Senator Harry Reid, Speaker Nancy Pelosi, and our many allies in Congress who refused to let politics get in the way of what was right.

Like you, they never gave up, and I want them to know how grateful we are for that commitment.

Will you join me in thanking them by adding your name to Organizing for America's letter?

I will make sure these messages are delivered -- you can also add a comment about what the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" means to you.

As Commander in Chief, I fought to repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" because it weakens our national security and military readiness. It violates the fundamental American principles of equality and fairness.

But this victory is also personal.

I will never know what it feels like to be discriminated against because of my sexual orientation.

But I know my story would not be possible without the sacrifice and struggle of those who came before me -- many I will never meet, and can never thank.

I know this repeal is a crucial step for civil rights, and that it strengthens our military and national security. I know it is the right thing to do.

But the rightness of our cause does not guarantee success, and today, celebration of this historic step forward is tempered by the defeat of another -- the DREAM Act. I am incredibly disappointed that a minority of senators refused to move forward on this important, commonsense reform that most Americans understand is the right thing for our country. On this issue, our work must continue.

Today, I'm proud that we took these fights on.

Please join me in thanking those in Congress who helped make "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" repeal possible:

http://my.barackobama.com/Repealed

Thank you,

Barack

RuPaul's Drag U Season 2 Casting

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Phineas) — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 21:30:00 +0000

Here is the latest casting call from LOGO TV for RuPaul's Drag U Season 2:

This is a great opportunity for lesbian moms to raise lesbian visibility in a fun way while getting a free makeover. Please send this casting call to anyone who might be interested. For more info you can email dragucasting@gmail.com.

The Tooth Fairy is A Lesbian

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Phineas) — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 12:00:00 +0000

I just realized that each time my children lose a tooth and we "give the Tooth Fairy a call", we're dialing a rainbow phone number!

My wife and I have been playing Tooth Fairy for years, telling the tale of her to our kids and sharing the excitement of finding money under the pillow in the morning if you leave a tooth. Of course I realized soon after we began this adventure that my kids were now learning how to sell their body parts for money, as my daughter loudly wondered if she could sell other things like her hair or fingernails from under her pillow and my son expected like 20 bucks for each molar and had a look of disappointment when he would find anything less than a five.

So I kind of backtracked with the whole charade a few years ago and told my kids the truth...

The lady who leaves you the money is me, and when your mama dials the phone to call the fairy to get your tooth she's really calling on your lesbian mom to stay up late and make sure the money gets there!

There were a couple of times I've messed up because I forgot to make the switch or they've woken up while my hand was under their pillow so when I confessed that I was the Tooth Fairy, to them it all made sense.

This week both kids lost a tooth and I kept the tradition alive by saying "Ooooh, now we get to call the Tooth Fairy!"and I gave them the innocent look they use when they tell me and my wife their tall tales.

Old enough now, and knowing the truth, they got a little gleam in their eye and know I'll be sneaking in during the night with money in hand to take their tooth for my keepsake collection.

Ultimately, I'm glad I told them the truth (even though the other adults around me gave me looks like I was a dream killer!) and in the end I'm happy with being honest to my kids. They seem more grateful now no matter how much money they find under the pillow just knowing that we've taken the time and effort to make sure they know and feel that they are special.

That being said you know that my family will be keeping the Tooth Fairy tradition alive, and don't forget - in my house she has rainbow wings.

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives with her wife in Southern California. You can find out more about her by visiting her website at www.juliephineas.com.

IT GETS BETTER: "Modern Family"

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Phineas) — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 20:15:00 +0000

"Modern Family" Stars Jesse Tyler Ferguson & Eric Stonestreet talk about bullying and what you can do if it's happening to you:
http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

When Your Child Is Suicidal

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Phineas) — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 19:00:00 +0000

This is a hard one for me... I'm already holding back tears - but it needs to be said.

I recently posted an article titled "Suicide: It’s What’s for Breakfast" which had been written in 2009, a little over a year ago now. In it I told you all about my uncle and how he hung himself from a tree. I also linked to a letter written by a Brazilian teen who hung herself from a tree as well. I also told you about an eight year old California girl who hung herself by a belt from her bunk bed.

Now, I feel like I have to tell it all - let you know what I've been going through, and hopefully help somebody else out there who might need it.

Back in 2009, things were taking a toll on me and I hit a new emotional low when I found out about the suicide of the Brazilian girl after reading her letter. Regardless of what I was doing as a blogger to aid the project helping her, I couldn't stop her from killing herself. The producers of the project were stunned as well, and it was a group shock experience I would never like to re-live. Luckily for me I received a Message of Hope, and was able to move forward somewhat and try to get back on track.

Later that year, however, I found out that my daughter was having suicidal thoughts and it devastated me!

She was only 7 years old and told me that sometimes she wanted to get a knife and stab herself in the chest. She told me that she tried to kill herself already. She had tried to drop a knife on her foot when she was helping put dishes away. It was very innocent and very scary. When I got to the root of what was making her feel this way, a story came out about a girl from her father's apartment complex asking her to pull her pants down when they were playing outside by the bushes. Can you imagine as a mother how I felt at that moment!?! I was so bewildered, it really did come out of no where, although I knew something was up with her.

This incident had happened to her 6 months prior, and it was bothering her this whole time, but she didn't tell me because of some internal reasoning that she would be in trouble.

I knew something was going on with her because of her grades at school, and her behavior problems at home which had started to escalate. I thought it had to do with starting a new sport, still dealing with the divorce of her parents, the fact that I'm gay, that she's spoiled - all kinds of reasons other than the truth. There were no signs in her drawings, the stories she would write, nothing in her school work that would suggest what she was suffering from, but there was something there on a deeper level I just couldn't see.

I knew she couldn't kill herself by dropping a knife on her foot, but what if she realized a way that would actually work... and tried it?

(I have to take a deep breath. This is very hard for me to share. I have kept myself in a shell and away from people so that this wouldn't come up. I didn't want my daughter labeled in some way because this was happening to her. I am here telling you this because I want other parents to learn because I didn't know who to call or what to do but I had to figure it out. I HAD TO.)

My wife and I took our daughter to her doctor, an "adult we could trust", to talk to her about the thoughts she had and what happened with the girl from the apartment.

The doctor made a report about the incident to our state's family services and referred us to a specialist for further testing. We took our daughter for a full evaluation to see whether she had learning disabilities affecting her grades, and if we could eliminate the suicidal thoughts she was having. What it came down to after working with an excellent family therapist (MFT) and lesbian friendly psyschologist was that our daughter was suffering from post traumatic stress following the incident with the girl at the apartment which was affecting her concentration at school. She was constantly having "intrusive thoughts" affecting her focus and her behavior. These thoughts meant that she kept thinking about the situation over and over again and she was reliving the emotions over and over again too.

She had feelings of shame and basically that she was a 'bad girl'.

Being so young and innocent, feeling like you are a 'bad girl' can be the worst feeling in the world. I totally understand why she felt like she wanted to hurt herself - she wanted to stop the pain.

When we got to the bottom of things (which took a few months!) things got easier.

Before that things were hard. We really took things one day at a time, and I really had a hard time because my daughter sleeps in a bunk bed. We had her on 24 hour surveillance between my wife and I, and constantly "checked in" with her emotionally. Simple things like asking her "How are you?", "Is there anything you want to talk about or ask me?", or "What's on your mind?" to open up the lines of communication. I really had to work hard on my reactions to the things she told me, because I always told her that she could tell me anything. She chose not to tell me about the incident in the first place because she felt like she would get in trouble, so I had to be sure that even though she was telling me things she would normally be in trouble for (like she was behind the bushes when she wasn't supposed to be) I didn't make a big deal out of those issues.

The important thing was that I had my daughter, here, breathing - ALIVE.

I am glad she told me what was going on, and felt she could tell me how she feels. I've always told her she could talk to me, and now she knows it's really true. Our MFT has become a part of the family in some ways, and we are eternally grateful to the things she has shown us.

We are still taking things one day at a time, but we made it through a tough time and are here to tell the tale.

I just hope by sharing this others will know that the kids in our world are capable of a lot more than we might give credit for, and hold emotions we might not understand because they are so darn innocent. Check in with your kids, let them know how they feel is normal, and that what goes on out in the world is not their fault! Give them the support system they need, and if you can't give advice, you just don't know what to say, give them the Trevor Hotline Phone Number 1-866-4-U-TREVOR.

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more about her by visiting her website at www.juliephineas.com.

Suicide: It’s What’s for Breakfast

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Phineas) — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 17:45:00 +0000

This is an article I wrote in 2009. With the recent suicides of Tyler Clementi, Seth Walsh, and Asher Brown, I felt it needed to be re-visited...

Lately there has been a lot of talk about suicide.

Most recently, an 11 year old boy, Carl Walker-Hoover, killed himself by hanging with an extension cord after being bullied at school with anti-gay slurs, even though he was not gay. Eric Mohat, 17, was harassed so badly in high school that when one bully said to him in class, “Why don’t you go home and shoot yourself, no one will miss you,” that’s exactly what he did.

As a journalist for our news section here on LezGetReal, I am always scouring our sources for stories our readers should know about.

Many times it’s early in the morning, and this activity can set the pace for the rest of the day. I’ve noticed that many of the stories that readers respond to the most are the ones that are shocking or sad. Good news is usually not considered newsworthy. That’s not the case here on our site and of course not every news source is that way, but for the most part I am noticing that every morning for the past two weeks there has been some type of news tip in my inbox about a recent suicide.

Now in my personal life, I have known suicide, since my uncle killed himself by hanging when I was a young child.

The way he did it has played on my mind for years. He hung himself in a tree in the front yard on Halloween. I remember walking by the tree that night while trick or treating with my mom and sister and seeing the fake dummy man hanging in the tree. The next time I went to my grandparents house the tree had been cut down.

That has been something that has stuck with me my whole life, and now as a lesbian blogger and activist I am facing the issue of suicide almost daily.

Recently, an 8 year old girl committed suicide here in California, for no apparent reason. She hung herself with a belt from her bunk bed. As things like this happen, I become more saddened at the presence of suicide in our society. Other members in my circle have committed suicide, and some have threatened it as well.

Suicide statistics show:

-A person dies by suicide about every 16 minutes in the United States. An attempt is estimated to be made once every minute.

-Suicide is the fifth leading cause of death among those 5-14 years old.

-Suicide is the third leading cause of death among those 15-24 years old.

The suicide rates for men rise with age, most significantly after age 65.

-The suicide rates for women peak between the ages of 45-54 years old, and again after age 75.

-Over 60 percent of all people who die by suicide suffer from major depression.

-About 15 percent of the population will suffer from clinical depression at some time during their lifetime. Thirty percent of all clinically depressed patients attempt suicide; half of them ultimately die by suicide.

Last week, a friend of mine working on a documentary on LGBT hate crimes in Brazil shared a particularly saddening letter written by a girl in Brazil, who hung herself from a tree a few weeks ago. She had been sexually assaulted by some boys from her town, saving her friend from the same fate. Since the boys were related to connected people, nothing had been done.

Here are some excerpts of that letter…

My father took me home. He stopped the car in front of our house to talk with me. “I knew this was gonna happen with the way you are”.
He cried.
I never saw my father cry. Before he got out of the car he said, “it would have been better if you died”.
In my bedroom I looked in the mirror to see my body after
everything. Like a Frankenstein monster.
My shoulder looked like a quilt my mother made.
Leftover pieces of me sewn together to try making me whole again.
…I’m not very sure about what to do. My mother says I should pretend all of this didn’t happen to me and maybe I can go out with a boy from our church now.
I was very mad… I am very mad because she knows the boys who did this to me. They are from our church!
I hate to be such a terrible problem for everyone.
Maybe it’s better if I am dead. I’m scared now.
I don’t think I’m strong enough for this life.

If we truly want to do something about suicide we have to take a stand against it – we can’t let it become the norm!

I know what it is to be depressed, and feel despair. I have had a tough life having been abused as a child, abused as a woman, and with a life full of hard knocks. There have been times that I have been down and out, but luckily I feel that I have things to live for.

Yet I imagine what it must be like to be in a different city, county, or country.

What would it be like if I didn’t have a family? What would it be like if I didn’t have money, or a career, or friends? What if I didn’t have anything to live for other than life itself? That might take me a little closer to the edge I imagine. But for me, I have never really been that close and I guess I could never really know how it is for someone who is in so much despair that they would take their own life.

What I do know is that suicide is completely preventable.

Being there and giving someone something to look forward to is a big help that can’t really be measured but can make a huge difference. We don’t see news stories when someone has decided against taking their own life, but it happens every day.

Also, everyone really needs to watch what they say to other people.

Words really can hurt people, and they can help too. Something my wife taught me that helps “When you talk to someone, you never know, you might have been the only person to talk to them that day.”

It’s very true. Let’s all keep that in mind.

From The Trevor Project:

How You Can Help a Suicidal Person:
Listen. Suicidal people frequently feel no one understands them, that they are not taken seriously, and that no one listens to them.
Accept the person’s feelings as they are. Do not try to cheer the person up by making, positive, unrealistic statements. Do not joke about the situation.
Do not be afraid to talk about suicide directly. You will not be putting ideas into the person’s head. It may, in fact, be dangerous to avoid asking a person directly if s/he is feeling suicidal.
Ask them if they have developed a plan for suicide. The presence of a well-developed plan indicates more serious intent.
Remove anything dangerous from the person’s home that might be used in a suicide attempt (e.g., gun, knife, razor blades, sleeping pills).
Tell a trusted adult. Do not keep it a secret. If someone you know is considering suicide, an adult is the best person to handle the situation and offer that person help. Make No Deals to keep secret what a suicidal person has told you.
Express your concern for the person and your hope that the person will not choose suicide but instead will stick it out a little longer.
Remind the person that depressed feelings do change over time.
Point out that when death is chosen, it is final–it cannot be changed.
Develop a plan for help with the person.
If you cannot develop a plan and a suicide attempt is imminent, seek outside emergency help from a hospital, mental health clinic or call “911.”

If you are battling with suicidal thoughts there is hope for you.

There is always hope to make things better, hope for a brighter day, as long as you don’t give up. Reach out to someone, tell someone you need help, don’t be afraid to make a change for the better.

In an emergency, call 1-866-4-U-TREVOR, 1-866-488-7386.

Together we can turn these headlines around, and start each day with positive news… can you imagine?? I sure can!

In the meantime, let’s keep our heads up and do what we can each day to make a change.

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more about her online by visiting her website at www.juliephineas.com.

Prop. 8 Update

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Phineas) — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 15:00:00 +0000

For those of you who have been wondering about the latest on Prop. 8 here in California, here is an update.

You may have read that the ban on gay marriage was overturned on August 4, 2010 yet gay marriages did not resume right away. Because the opposition planned to appeal the decision, Judge Walker ordered a stay, or delay, to hear arguments for and against same-sex marriages resuming while awaiting the appeal.

On August 12, 2010 Judge Walker denied a new motion to extend that stay at which point same-sex couples should have been allowed to begin marrying. However, Judge Walker extended the effective date of that order to allow for the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit (where the case is being appealed) to review the matter.

Kate Kendell, executive director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights was quoted as saying:

“It would be delightful to have marriages resuming this afternoon, but it is understandable why Judge Walker would want the Ninth Circuit to have an opportunity to review. We look forward to the resumption of marriages next week, not only based on principles of equality and fairness, but as affirmations of love and basic humanity.”

Many people expected marriages to resume the next week, August 17th, 2010 just like Kate Kendell did.

However on August 17, 2010, the Ninth Circuit panel put gay marriage on hold again when they handed down an order to stay the original decision by Judge Walker to overturn the ban while placing the appeal on an expedited schedule to hear the case in December.

September 1, 2010 it was reported that a conservative group filed a motion asking that Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Attorney General Jerry Brown be made to defend the law in federal court. The California Supreme Court then declined that motion and now Meg Whitman is saying she will defend Prop. 8 if elected in this coming election.

With Gov. Schwarzenegger out of the state, another plan was uncovered to enlist the acting Lt. Governor Abel Maldonado to defend the measure and file an appeal on the original case in federal court in the final days in which an appeal could be filed, and that was September 13, 2010.

While awaiting the final decision after the hearing in December you can still find plenty of Prop. 8 coverage online including major donations made by anti-gay advocates, noticeable silence on the part of pro-gay supporters, and other Prop. 8 accusations. An end to the whole situation is still not in sight.

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more about her by visiting her website at www.juliephineas.com.

Prop. 8 Ruled "Unconstitutional"

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Phineas) — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 21:14:00 +0000

Judge Vaughn Walker handed down his decision today in the case to repeal Prop. 8 and ruled the ban against same-sex marriage to be "unconstitutional".

A sigh of relief is the initial reaction by the LGBT community, followed by a new motivation to go on the offensive in the fight for marriage equality and other basic civil equalities. The Courage Campaign is calling for contributions to prepare for appeals on their main website here. You can read the entire story of the ruling on Proposition 8 and what's next for the fight for marriage equality at lesbian news site LezGetReal.com here.

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more about her by visiting her website at www.juliephineas.com.

Prop. 8 Decision To Be Handed Down August 4, 2010

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Phineas) — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 01:45:00 +0000

News site Lez Get Real is reporting that the decision by the California Supreme Court on whether to overturn anti-gay Proposition 8 is set to be handed down on Wednesday August 4th, 2010.

The long awaited decision will affect thousands of same-sex couples in the state and send a message to LGBT and anti-gay activists alike about where they stand in the fight for marriage equality. For more information about the proposition and Day of Decision events, you can read the article on LezGetReal.com here.

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more about her by visiting her website at www.juliephineas.com.

Prop. 8 Day of Decision

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Phineas) — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 05:53:00 +0000

Mark Solomon of Equality California is calling for all supporters of same-sex marriage in and near the state of California to come together for the Prop. 8 Day of Decision which is expected to be handed down soon. ECQA is searching for same-sex couples and their families to participate in gatherings across the state the day the California Supreme Court makes a decision on the repeal of Proposition 8, the proposition which places a ban on same-sex marriage in California.

You can find out where your nearest gathering location is and more information on how you can participate by visiting www.equalrightsfoundation.org.

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more about her by visiting her website at www.juliephineas.com.

A Lesbian Network Is Born

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Phineas) — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 16:42:00 +0000

In 2008 I married the love of my life and then had our rights taken away with the passage of Prop. 8.

When that happened I went into activist mode and made a vow to do what I could to make a difference in the fight for equality. I dedicated my time into using my skills for the good of the LGBT community and can now share with the world what it is that I've done.

Gay Girls Network is my contribution to the world and is now available to lesbians everywhere for entertainment and information vital to our community!

You can find over thirty topic sites for gay girls online and will have fun navigating the network looking for information on your favorite topics like food, family, and sports. This network is brought to you in association with Gay Girls Global Village (or 3GV) and is a production of JuliePhineas.com.

Through a cancer scare, family therapy, and other dramatic life changing events we managed to pull through to bring to life this network regardless of the obstacles we faced and can finally share it with you.

This is the official birthday of Gay Girls Network, July 4, 2010 - so Happy Birthday to my network and congratulations to all the lesbians in the world on our new baby!!!

You can find more information and visit the network by visiting www.GayGirlsNetwork.com.
You'll still find me at my regular posting places, but I wanted to let you know about this new network and invite you to visit and celebrate with me.

Thank you for taking the time to read this message and I hope you have a fabulous day!

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more about her by visiting her website at www.juliephineas.com.

Lesbian Couple Stands Up for Second Parent Adoption Laws

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Phineas) — Mon, 10 May 2010 20:07:00 +0000

Domestic partners Christy Chung and Lancy Woo are working on behalf of Second Parent Adoption Laws.

For more on what you can do to aid the fight for LGBT rights please visit www.aclu.org.

My Final Diagnosis

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Phineas) — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 00:03:00 +0000

It's been a few weeks now, but I finally got a diagnosis of what was causing me to have 'mystery pains'.

If you have followed along with my blog you might remember that a few months ago I let everyone know that I was Facing Life and Death. I have had a rough and scary time since fall of last year, but I wanted to let everyone know that I have finally reached a place where I know what I am dealing with and what I have to do about it.

Unfortunately, after a lot of testing, a cancer scare, a surgery, and more testing, there were still ZERO answers.

After isolating the problem in my body to my stomach and eating, I thought that I would surely have some answers after a stomach biopsy which turned up absolutely nothing. When my gastro-enterologist prescribed my an anti-depressant I was stunned. I wasn't sure what one had to do with the other, but luckily after the cancer scare I started going to therapy and when I told my therapist about the results of my biopsy she said that it totally made sense to her.

According to my therapist the source of my 'mystery pains' are psychosomatic symptoms due to "un-processed trauma". WOW.

That really made sense to me considering my childhood and early adult years, and all the loss I've suffered in my life. I had only been in therapy for a few weeks at that time, but when this information was uncovered we were able to focus in on some of the traumas I've suffered through my life and work through some of the issues I've been having. I noticed a difference in my stomach pain IMMEDIATELY after that particular session, then had a new problem with a week's worth of migraines!

It's been a journey this past month or so working through my perspective and getting my mind and body right, but so far it seems to be working!

I have been free of my mystery pain which had become a daily debilitating problem and am now up and around, out and about, and doing my thing day to day - thank you Jesus!! I really had a tough time working through my issues and at times I wanted to quit, but now I see a light at the end of the tunnel and am extremely happy to report that I am doing a lot better and feeling good enough to reach out and even post.

I think life just caught up with me and I couldn't run from my problems anymore.

Facing my childhood is definitely going to help me be a better mother, so it's all worth it if only just for just that. I am truly thankful to all my friends and family who were there for me during my tough times and you know I will be there for you in yours!

Thank you for taking the time to read this post and for visiting my blogsite too. ;o)

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more about her by visiting her website at www.juliephineas.com.

I've Been Facing Life and Death

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Phineas) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 00:18:00 +0000

There is an entire class of lesbians in the world that nobody gives much thought to... lesbians who are facing death.

It's easy to say that we are all dying (whether you are gay, straight, asexual or trans); but that really can't compare to the impending doom of actually knowing how long you have until you're going to die.

If you’ve been a reader of this blog for the past year you might know that I have an illness that affects many lesbians called PCOS. This is something I have had for over a decade now and so I thought it was a routine problem when I started having pain in my abdomen a few months ago. I didn’t even think too much of it when I lost close to 15 pounds in just one week shortly after. I did start to worry however, when I noticed that I had a fever which wasn’t going away.

After a few visits to my doctor, ultrasounds, a CT scan and an MRI, my doctor was telling me I had two tumors in my liver that “looked pretty bad”. By this time 6 weeks had gone by and my pain had begun to spread from my abdomen and through to my back, and I was in bed for a good portion of the day when the pain was too intense. When he told me that the tumors in my liver “looked pretty bad” and “could possibly be liver cancer”, I still held my head up high and I tried not to be too worried. Waiting for the results of my biopsy was hard to do. Doing my research online, I tried to find hopeful information; and knowing that many people have beaten cancer before, I held on to the knowledge that I could too.

Throughout the process I was faced with new experiences and relationships with strangers in an extremely tough time. Every time I took a major test I would have to answer the basic questions and essentially ‘come out’ to every person who took my health insurance information and emergency contact name, and sometimes explain to nurses why I wasn’t taking birth control. Because I was a young 31 years of age, many of the hospital workers who where assigned to me for whatever reason were curious to know about my tumors and basic health situation, which would eventually lead to them asking who the woman was that was with me. It was always a toss up on how they would react when I would respond with “She’s my wife”.

My friends and family had a variety of responses too, and it made the situation that much more real. Because I am a mom my main concern is always my children, and so even though I didn’t want to worry any of my family or friends, I had to let them know what was going on so that they could help me keep an eye out for the kids. Looking into the situation I was facing brought me down to my knees, and so I asked for everyone in my inner circle to pray and meditate on the situation to bring a positive outcome if possible.

The life expectancy of someone who is facing liver cancer is just 3-6 months, and for me, two months had already passed since I began to notice pain. My fever had gone away, my blood work was clear and I was noticing that I could bring my pain down if I didn’t eat very much – so I had hope; but I wasn’t taking any chances and I decided to call the Cancer Treatment Centers of America, which I had seen commercials for on television with many survivors of cancer. I browsed their website for their survivors list which was very long.
There were many survivors of breast cancer, and other cancers, but for liver cancer there was just one.

I was truly terrified that this could be it for little ole me! But I was not giving up and prepared myself for a fight.
When I called the Cancer Treatment Centers of America I spoke to a gentleman who was very sympathetic to my situation and who had been cancer free for twenty years. I was very pleased to find out that they would pay the travel expenses for me AND for my wife to fly out to their center for treatments. My sexual orientation was not a factor at all for them and I was very comfortable calling on them for help.

I talked to my family about what would happen if the biopsy showed cancer, and also took a trip to LegalZoom.com to get started on the legal paperwork I had put off for so long. I needed a Power of Attorney for general legal affairs, a Living Will to make known my wishes for resuscitation and donor status, and a Last Will to make known my wishes should I pass away. My wife and I had never talked about things like this before, only jokingly or in passing. But this situation brought us face to face with reality and we had some of the deepest most meaningful conversations we have ever had in these past few months.

During this time I didn’t really have much energy to blog or work on any of my lezsites, but I did find that there are other lesbians out there facing the same situations just by noticing those around me while on my medical travels. Sometimes you can hear patients in the hallway outside your room, or when you are at the front desk at your doctor’s office. Dropping off prescriptions, and filling out forms I bumped into many gay girls along the way.

Ironically, it was a gay girl who gave me my biopsy results and I am truly thankful to her because she handed me the best news of my life… the tumors are NOT cancer! W H E W!!!

It’s hard for me to be speechless but this day I was! The only way that I can explain it, is that I was doing cartwheels on the inside for miles and miles. LOL

My whole network of friends and family were celebrating and excited and happy that we dodged that bullet. I truly feel like I have been given a new lease on life!

After visiting a few more specialists I have been scheduled for an outpatient surgery in a few days and some other procedures in the coming weeks. These things should bring me some pain relief but ultimately knowing that I don’t have to worry about things like chemotherapy is the biggest relief for me right now. At my last appointment my doctor told me that my pains are “not life threatening” and I can enjoy my holidays which is exactly what I intend to do.

Now that I am not facing death, I find that I have to face my life instead!

That’s a whole different experience altogether, and the most important thing that I have found through it all is in surrounding yourself with people who love and support you, and supporting the people that you love as well.
I’ve found myself focused on what is really important in my life, and I hope that sharing this story with you will help you to do the same. Life really is too short, and if you stop and think about it – have you done all that you want to with your life? Have you said all that you need to say? Have you lived out all that you need to live? It’s definitely worth thinking about… and then living!

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more about her by visiting her website at www.juliephineas.com.

If you are a lesbian facing Cancer, you can find helpful information specifically for lesbians at www.MautnerProject.org.

Not Your Mother's Sex Life

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Phineas) — Tue, 19 May 2009 19:00:00 +0000

This past Mother's Day was the first one without my mother, who passed away last year, and I have been reflecting on motherhood a lot lately as a result.

When I found out that it was Sexy Mom's Month over at Babeland, I thought about my mom and how she has affected my sexuality over the years which has led me now to be what some would call a sexy mom. It's not easy for me to write about my sexuality because it's such a sensitive subject for me. Yet I imagine that things were much tougher for my mom back in her day, when sexuality was still a dirty word. Now that I am a mom myself, I have to consider what things will be like for my daughter in the future and how my actions now can affect her sexuality later on.

My mom's first sexual experience was a negative one, and moving forward things didn't get much better.

When she found someone who gave her a positive sexual experience she latched onto him, and he became my father. Unfortunately, the relationship was not a healthy one for a number of other reasons and that particular lifestyle led to a variety of other abuses that were suffered by us children. It was saddening to know that my mother put so much value on her sexuality above all else. I couldn't say that I blame her, knowing what she had been through in childhood and adolescence; yet moving forward I realize that her insistence on sexuality in her relationship over things like loyalty or honesty were instilled in me now too.

Becoming a mom myself forced me to take a step back and re-evaluate my values in regards to my sexuality and relationships.

I have an aggressive sex drive, much like my mother did, but I really didn't want to let sex be the basis of my life decisions. Every relationship I found myself in focused on having a great experience in the bedroom, and wound up failing miserably. It wasn't until I truly took a moment to think about what it was I really wanted out of a relationship that things started to really change for me. I really only stopped to think about it, and broke the circle of dysfunction, because of the strong feelings of love and responsibility I felt for my children.

Looking at my daughter who is only 7, I can see how her body and mind are wired similar to mine; and though she has some of her father's wiring and physical traits as well so it really is a coin toss on how her sexual identity is going to develop.

I started thinking about this when my daughter was born, only because of the issues I have had with sexuality my whole life. What kind of woman was she going to grow up to be? Would she be proud of the kind of woman I was? What could I offer her in the way of guidance towards raising sexually healthy children? Who even really knows how to do that??

I sure didn't and so I did what anybody else would do. I went straight to the internet!

Here is what I found:

The goal is to raise children to be sexually healthy adults: adults who feel good about their bodies, make responsible decisions about their sexuality, and have satisfying emotional, spiritual, and physical relationships with their life partners.

Sexually healthy adults begin as children who are raised in sexually healthy families. In such a family, parents understand that teaching their children about sexuality – in the broadest sense – is just about as important as teaching them about safety, religion, and healthy decision-making.

Sexually healthy parents are askable parents – that is, their children know that they can ask them anything, even about such intimate topics as sexuality. Askable parents reward their children's questions by giving them honest answers, and they let their children know that they want to help with difficult issues. Askable parents also seek opportunities to talk with their children about sexuality rather than always waiting for questions. They are always on the lookout for teaching opportunities when they can offer a little bit of sexual information or impart some of their morals and values. Askable parents are knowledgeable about sexuality, but they also seek out additional information to better guide their children.

Many characteristics of sexually healthy families are not explicitly about sex or sexuality, but are about how each member of the family interacts with each other. Sexually healthy parents demonstrate that they value, respect, accept and trust their children – and that they expect to be treated that way in return. They listen to their children, and seriously try to understand their points of view. They regularly share their values, stay actively involved in their children's lives, and are not afraid to set age-appropriate limits for behavior.

I found this awesome information at RaisingChildren.net.au in an article called Creating a Sexually Healthy Family. There is a lot more information there for you to read so be sure to give that link a visit.

It has been an interesting experience towards a sexually healthy relationship that was consistent with my values, desires, hopes, and needs.

I am very blessed to have found the one I want to spend the rest of my life with in my wife. I believe we model a healthy relationship for our children although we are not sexual beings when they are around. We are affectionate in that we hold hands and such but are not really comfortable discussing the topic with them as of yet. They are really young (7 and 9) but since they are at an age where they are aware of the world (plus they went to school and learned how to read!) they were aware of the word 'sex' a few years ago. Talking with them I mentioned it was something for 'grown-ups' and they 'would learn all about it in high school'. Now that they are a little older I've had to divulge more info. It's a tad uncomfy but afterward I feel like they have a better foundation towards becoming well rounded (and sexually healthy!) adults. I don't know how I will handle it however when they actually realize that sex is something their parents do - yikes! HaHaHa

One thing that is for sure, the sexual side of me is definitely evolved from what my mother's was and so I know there is hope in the future for my daughter to grow into a radiantly beautiful sexy mom.

But wait... will that make me a sexy grandma???

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more about her by visiting her website at www.juliephineas.com.

Lesbian Mommy

Hate Mail Vol. 1 "Ending Up Pregnant"

Queen Latifah to Headline Long Beach Gay and Lesbian Pride Festival

The Lesbian Mommy Android App

Gringa: A Contradictory Girlhood

Lessons from the Lesbian Blogger Hoax

Related articles

Paula Brooks Exposed As Bill Graber

Related articles

Video: "Marriage Matters"

California Couples Continue to Wait for Equality

Related articles

Tila Tequila "It Gets Better"

Video Post: Family Time by COLAGE

Barack Obama to Sign Bill Ending Don't Ask Don't Tell

RuPaul's Drag U Season 2 Casting

The Tooth Fairy is A Lesbian

IT GETS BETTER: "Modern Family"

Related articles

When Your Child Is Suicidal

Related articles

Suicide: It’s What’s for Breakfast

Prop. 8 Update

Related articles by Zemanta

Prop. 8 Ruled "Unconstitutional"

Prop. 8 Decision To Be Handed Down August 4, 2010

Prop. 8 Day of Decision

A Lesbian Network Is Born

Lesbian Couple Stands Up for Second Parent Adoption Laws

My Final Diagnosis

I've Been Facing Life and Death

Not Your Mother's Sex Life