Lesbiatopia

To the Boston Lesbians Who Love Cocktails and Comedy

2013-04-04T06:54:00.000-07:00

Thompson Films invites guests to join them as they celebrate the kick-off of production on its latest web series, K & A. Starring Audrey Claire Johnson ("Karly") and Ashley Elmi ("Alex"), the series follows two best friends (one is a lesbian) whose dysfunctional codependent, drinking and drug-taking relationship impedes them from ever finding someone special in their lives besides each other.

Enjoy a night of cocktails, comedy from Kylie Alexander and Kate Ghiloni, and more with some of the craziest cast members and female comedians the city has seen. Enter to win incredible door prizes, including a tour of Bully Boy Distillers for up to 15 people, a two-week unlimited pass to Boston's only dedicated indoor spin studio, Recycle Studio, and tickets to Improv Asylum, among others!

Guests can also enjoy a complimentary cocktail created by Naga's Bar Manager and cocktail guru, Noon Inthasuwan, as well as delicious passed appetizers from Moksa.

Tickets are $20 (or $25 cash at the door) and it takes place on Thursday, April 18th from 6pm to 9pm at Naga in Cambridge, MA.

Get your tickets now!

I Want a Whole Milk Marriage, Not Skim

2013-03-27T13:29:00.000-07:00

I can't help but feel so incredibly fired up while simultaneously frustrated by the news surrounding DOMA. It makes me want to scream and pull my hair out and wonder why everyone in this country doesn't see what seems to be so obvious to me. Why is it so important to change DOMA? Well, in case you weren't aware, there are more than 1,000 federal laws that confer benefits of one sort or another on married couples — everything from tax savings to Social Security benefits - but DOMA excludes those benefits for legally married same-sex couples, even at the state level for those states that have already legalized same-sex marriage.

The case that was heard at the Supreme Court today involves a New York couple, Edith Windsor and Thea Spyer, who had been together for 42 years prior to their marriage in 2007. When Spyer died, however, the federal government, acting under DOMA, required Windsor to pay $363,000 in estate taxes that she would not have owed if her spouse had been a man.

Ironically, the 14th Amendment guarantees all citizens equal protection of the law. Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg argued today that DOMA creates a two-tier system or as she put it, "full marriage and skim-milk marriage" equating same-sex marriage to skim milk in that it's lacking in wholeness. Supporters of DOMA argue that the traditional definition of marriage is "between a man and a woman" and it would be an abomination to god only knows who if that were to change. Imagine what would happen if we (as a people of "equal protection") redefined this definition to remove all references to gender. Surely it would undermine the hundreds of thousands of heterosexual marriages that exist today.

At the end of the day, there is one thing for me that is certain; I will not ever get married to a man, it's simply not an option for me. Being gay is not a choice just as much as having green eyes is not a choice. Could I cover my eyes with colored contact lenses? Sure, just as I could pretend to act straight (well, I could certainly try). But at the end of the day, my eyes are still going to be green and I'm still going to be as gay as a rainbow over San Francisco. I do know that someday I will get married to a woman and I will call it marriage, regardless of what anyone thinks about the "traditional definition". And I will continue to fight for those 1,000 benefits that are not currently afforded to same-sex marriages. And for the record, I really hate skim milk. I want my milk whole just like I would want my marriage.

The Morning After - A Lesbian Short

2013-03-04T04:48:00.000-08:00

The Morning After from Katie Shannon on Vimeo.
The Morning After follows a couple as they try to figure out what is next in their relationship.

Writer/Director: Katie Shannon
Sam: Amy DePaola
Lauren: Allison Faythe

www.thompsonfilmsllc.com

Lesbian Short Film: The Reason Behind Me

2013-01-28T09:33:00.005-08:00

The Reason Behind Me is a short film by Dani van Herk Cast: Kate Austin and Bianca Bradey Cinematographer: Kieran Fowler

The Reason Behind Me (Paris FINAL) from Dani on Vimeo.

Star-Studded Documentary "Out in the Open" Coming to DVD January 29th

2013-01-04T06:34:00.000-08:00

Following the historic reelection of President Barack Obama and marriage equality advancing in four more states, QC Cinema is proud to announce that the January 29th DVD release of Matthew Smith's Out in the Open ($24.99), a documentary comprised of a collection of interviews with successful figures who openly identify with their sexual orientation. CEO Richard Wolff and Real Stream Productions' Ben Milliken closed a deal for the release at the American Film Market.

This documentary targets at-risk youth across the world, as well as their families, friends, and teachers. Out in the Open presents that no single person is the same and that all people should be celebrated. Out in the Open interviews celebrities, politicians, and everyday allies, straight and gay, who openly celebrate the LGBTQ community. These figures will discuss how they coped with stereotypes attached to their sexual orientation by sharing personal experiences of coming to terms with their sexuality.

Featured in Out in the Open are gay and allied celebrities such as "Queer Eyes" star Carson Kressley, Oscar nominee Eric Roberts and his wife Eliza, Olympic gold medal diver and activist Greg Louganis, Broadway star Josh Strickland, and musician Keaton Simons among others. These figures will discuss how they coped with stereotypes attached to their sexual orientation by sharing personal experiences of coming to terms with their sexuality. Out in the Open is aimed to guide the LGBTQ youth who struggle with bullying, ostracism and suicide in their communities.

Real Stream teamed up with Outset, an Outfest/Lifeworks program that offers at-risk LGBT youth an intensive course in filmmaking. Providing them with mentors who take the youth through a crash course, teaching them all there is to know about the art of film. By the end of the program, the students have shot their own short films from concept to screen, and premiered them at Outfest. Real Stream was there to document this process, and capture their stories for inclusion in Out in the Open.

Breaking Glass Co-President Richard Ross said, ""It is a pleasure to start 2013 with Matthew Smith's amazing documentary Out in the Open. As the country moves further and further away from any sort of closet, the film celebrates acceptance and empowerment for everyone."

The DVD will arrive complete a director's commentary, deleted scenes, bloopers, behind the scenes footage and much more.

Gay Marriage Legalization in Maine -- Inspiring Photo Essays/Video/Articles

2013-01-03T06:21:00.002-08:00

HooplaHa.com, a site dedicated to spreading good news, reached out to Lesbiatopia to share some amazing photos and videos that they took when they traveled up to Maine last weekend for the legalization of gay marriage.

One of the articles they posted was particularly adorable, which showcases Portland couples and how they describe their partners in one word. Here's a snapshot from the article:

photo credit: Sam Ferrigno for HooplaHa.com

Click here to see the rest of the photos.

Additionally, you should check out their photo essay as they tagged along with the first gay couple married in Maine the other night or their inspiring video of the City Hall crowd singing "All You Need is Love."

HooplaHa.com is dedicated to spreading smiles and positivity. The site is meant to inspire, inform, enlighten, engage and above all entertain.

Help Lesbian Film by Donating Today: Portrait of a Serial Monogamist

2012-12-10T04:00:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago we introduced you to a new lesbian film-in-the-making: Portrait of a Serial Monogamist is about a forty-something television producer and serial monogamist who breaks up with her long-standing girlfriend, only to discover that she may have broken up with the one she was meant to be with. This film is influenced by such greats like Annie Hall, Manhattan and High Fidelity.

Set in Toronto, Portrait of a Serial Monogamist tells the story of Elsie Neufeld, a 40 something television producer who is charming, successful and a complete mess when it comes to relationships. When Elsie breaks up with her long-standing girlfriend, she is forced to confront herself, the prospect of being single for the first time and the possibility that she broke up with the one she is meant to be with.

They only have 8 days left in their Indiegogo campaign to raise the funds to shoot the movie. So far, they've raised just over $16,000, which is fantastic, but still leaves them quite a bit short of our goal. Please donate if you can, every little bit helps!

Interested in learning more about the movie? We have a couple of videos here shared exclusively for you by the Director of the movie. The first video is Diane Flacks who plays Elsie, the lead

The second video is Second City alumnus Carolyn (Coco) Taylor who plays Robyn, the one who gets dumped:

Click here to watch the trailer and donate to this great campaign!

Christina Zeidler Co-Writer/Director/Producer

Christina Zeidler is a film and video artist with over thirty film and video titles in distribution, which have shown internationally at festivals and appeared on television and the web. Christina was named one of Toronto’s 10 best Filmmakers by Cameron Bailey artistic director of Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF), and has won the Best Canadian Media Award at the Images Film Festival. Her work has exhibited in numerous venues including the Albright Knox Biennial, Tate Modern and the New York Anthology Film Archives. She is also President and Developer of The Gladstone Hotel in Toronto. www.christinazeidler.com

John Mitchell Co-Writer/Director/Producer

John Mitchell is a Toronto writer and director who started his career as one half of the cult 90’s musical comedy duo Brock & John. Mitchell went on to spend two years at the famed Second City in Toronto as part of the Auxiliary Company. Mitchell has written and directed several musical comedies and was one of the early writers of the musical, The Drowsy Chaperone, which went on to win 5 Tony Awards on Broadway. He recently completed post production on his first documentary feature, with co-director Jonathan Crombie, Waiting For Ishtar, about Elaine May’s much-maligned 1987 comedy staring Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty.

The amazingly talented cast:

Diane Flacks/ Elsie

Carolyn Taylor/Robyn

Vanessa Dunn /Lolli

Caroline Gillis/Grace

Shoshana Sperling/Rachel

Dawn Whitwell /Jackie

www.portraitofserialmonogamist.com/cast-bios/

Help get the word out:

If you can't make a donation, you can still help by sharing the campaign on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, anywhere you spend time online. It all makes a difference!

Find them online:

www.portraitofaserialmonogamist.com

www.facebook.com/PortraitOfASerialMonogamist

How to Spice Things Up in Your Bedroom

2012-12-07T10:21:00.000-08:00

Keeping things interesting in the bedroom can be hard for any couple. After awhile things just become routine, stale and predictable. And unfortunately, since sex is such a powerful factor, when it starts to suffer, so can your relationship. So what do you do? How do you pull yourself out of your bedroom rut? Try some of these tips if you've been feeling the lull recently.

Take it outside.
After awhile the spontaneity dissipates. You no longer want to ravage your partner when you're at a party or when she's cooking dinner. Bring it back and sneak up on them when they're doing household chores, get handsy at the beach or sneak away to a bathroom while you're out. Leaving the bedroom is a great way to make things feel new and fresh again.

Read sexy novels to each other.
As women, we're much more mental, so get each other in the mood by reading sexy stories to each other. This is also a great way to break into dirty talk if you weren't already comfortable with doing so. Do it before you go to bed or randomly throughout the day to get each other going.

Act it out.
Role playing can be a lot of fun and help you cast aside any inhibitions you may have. Throw on a wig or an outfit and sink into character. Dressing like someone else can also make you feel like you're sleeping with someone new, which is a great way to recharge things without actually sleeping with someone else and losing the connection. Using the sexy novel tip can be a great way to get started with role playing ideas.

Try new things.
Literally, go out and do new things with each other, like canoeing, dance classes or even visit a brewery. Have you ever noticed that you have great sex whenever you go to a hotel or try something new together? It's because when you immediately create a bond and raise your serotonin levels when you try something new with someone. So don't just break out of your bedroom mold, break out of your life routine too and see how it effects your sex life.

Go shopping together.
But skip the mall. Head to a local or online novelty store, like Adam and Eve, and pick out new toys for each other. It's time to re-up if your toys are looking a little worn or your lingerie is at least a decade old. Doing it together can help the two of you open up about what you really want or like and what you want to try. Make a pact to reveal some of your deepest fantasies with each other and try at least one of them out.

Send something dirty.
Keep your partner thinking about you during the day by sending them dirty little texts or emails. It can be exciting for the both of you and make you super excited to see each other later.

At the end of the day, no matter what you choose to do, remember to be open with your partner. If you feel like things have slowed down and become a little ho hum, it's likely they think so, too. So start talking and see what happens. Sometimes words can be enough to get things going again.

Lesbian Film In-The-Making: Portrait of a Serial Monogamist

2012-11-19T13:16:00.000-08:00

There's a new lesbian romantic comedy in town and it's coming to a theater near you. Portrait of a Serial Monogamist is about a forty-something television producer and serial monogamist who breaks up with her long-standing girlfriend, only to discover that she may have broken up with the one she was meant to be with. This film is influenced by such greats like Annie Hall, Manhattan and High Fidelity.

Set in Toronto, Portrait of a Serial Monogamist tells the story of Elsie Neufeld, a 40 something television producer who is charming, successful and a complete mess when it comes to relationships. When Elsie breaks up with her long-standing girlfriend, she is forced to confront herself, the prospect of being single for the first time and the possibility that she broke up with the one she is meant to be with.

Click here to watch the trailer and donate to this great campaign!

Christina Zeidler Co-Writer/Director/Producer

John Mitchell Co-Writer/Director/Producer

The amazingly talented cast:

Diane Flacks/ Elsie

Carolyn Taylor/Robyn

Vanessa Dunn /Lolli

Caroline Gillis/Grace

Shoshana Sperling/Rachel

Dawn Whitwell /Jackie

www.portraitofserialmonogamist.com/cast-bios/

Help get the word out:

If you can't make a donation, you can still help by sharing the campaign on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, anywhere you spend time online. It all makes a difference!

Find them online:

www.portraitofaserialmonogamist.com

www.facebook.com/PortraitOfASerialMonogamist

An Open Letter to Mitt Romney, From My Unborn Child

2012-10-26T13:45:00.001-07:00

Dear Mr. Romney,

This letter comes to you from the future. You see, I am the unborn child of a loving and happy lesbian couple and even though I am not born yet, I know that I will be the luckiest child alive when I am born. Why? Because I will be born into a family of two women that will love and support me and do everything in their power to be the best parents they can possibly be. I’m sure you can relate to this notion, as you have raised five children of your own. This leads me to some confusion. Let me explain.

I know you believe that '"scientific studies of children raised by same-sex couples are almost nonexistent and that it may affect the development of children and thereby future society as a whole" (as reference in a recent article on the Huffington Post). I took the liberty of doing some research on the matter myself, as I was not convinced that your statement was accurate. I went straight to one of the best sources I could possibly think of, the American Psychological Association. According to the APA:

Beliefs that lesbian and gay adults are not fit parents likewise have no empirical foundation. Additionally, lesbian and heterosexual women have not been found to differ markedly either in their overall mental health or in their approaches to child rearing. Similarly, lesbians' romantic and sexual relationships with other women have not been found to detract from their ability to care for their children. Lesbian couples who are parenting together have most often been found to divide household and family labor relatively evenly and to report satisfaction with their couple relationships. Research on gay fathers likewise suggests that they are likely to divide the work involved in child care relatively evenly and that they are happy with their couple relationships (Anderssen, Amlie, & Ytteroy, 2002; Brewaeys & van Hall, 1997; Parks, 1998; Patterson, 2000; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Perrin, 2002; Stacey & Biblarz, 2001; Tasker, 1999; Victor & Fish, 1995).

The results of some studies suggest that lesbian mothers' and gay fathers' parenting skills may be superior to those of matched heterosexual couples. For instance, Flaks, Fischer, Masterpasqua, and Joseph (1995) reported that lesbian couples' parenting awareness skills were stronger than those of heterosexual couples. This was attributed to greater parenting awareness among lesbian nonbiological mothers than among heterosexual fathers. In one study, Brewaeys and her colleagues (1997) likewise reported more favorable patterns of parent-child interaction among lesbian as compared to heterosexual parents, but in another, they found greater similarities (Vanfraussen, Ponjaert-Kristoffersen, & Brewaeys, 2003). A study of 256 lesbian and gay parent families found that, in contrast to patterns characterizing the majority of American parents, very few lesbian and gay parents reported any use of physical punishment (such as spanking) as a disciplinary technique; instead, they were likely to report use of positive techniques such as reasoning (Johnson & O'Connor, 2002). Certainly, research has found no reason to believe lesbian mothers or gay fathers to be unfit parents. On the contrary, results of research suggest that lesbian and gay parents are as likely as heterosexual parents to provide supportive home environments for children.

As you can see, Mr. Romney, the research clearly states that gay and lesbian couples are fit to be parents. I would like to believe you are an intelligent man and deep down in your heart of hearts, you probably already know these facts to be true. This leads me to believe that there is another reason you are vehemently opposed to gay marriage/parenting and feel good parenting only be achieved through the "traditional, nuclear marriage of one man and one woman". I would also hate to ignore the fact that you seem to lack mentioning the many other types of “families” that exist in this country. For example, single parents, children being raised by a family member other than a parent, children raised in foster care, etc. For whatever reason, Mr. Romney, only gay parenting seems to be singled out when this issue is raised. My question to you is, why are you so homophobic? The question is very simple in nature and I know there must be a valid reason for your blatant disregard for the LGBT community, but I am completely stumped as to what that reason could be.

My hope, in writing this letter, is that maybe for one second, you will open your eyes and take a minute to empathize with the wonderfully amazing privilege of being a parent. Many parents, both gay and straight, don’t ever take the traditional road of bringing a child into this world. In fact, both of my Moms are adopted by the most amazing families a person could ask for. The fact of the matter is that all types of families exist in this world. Whether they are single, gay, straight, related or non-related, this is a time in our lives when families should come together under a single goal: to love and support their children. There is too much violence and murder and strife and not enough love and support and caring. Shouldn’t we be celebrating family, however it’s defined, in this modern time? The answer is simple. Yes, we should. Your family, Mr. Romney, is no better than mine will be when I am born. And it is no better than anyone else’s family that exists right now, in whatever form. As a country, we should respect all families and treat them equally, because there is not one person who stands supreme enough in their power to judge who and what makes a good parent and a loving family. And that is the honest truth.

Respectfully yours,

The unborn child of a lesbian couple

Book Review: "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" By Stephen Chbosky

2012-09-27T08:40:00.000-07:00

BOOK REVIEW BY CYNTHIA RODRIGUEZ

Let me begin by saying, that as a teenager, I was never too much into reading many of the teen angsty books my peers were reading. From what I can remember, I can probably count on one hand all the Judy Blume type books that were probably popular at the time, that I actually READ. And I LOVED the "SCHOLASTIC BOOK CLUB". I remember getting so excited when the latest "catolog" was passed around the classroom, which consisted of a mere two or three pages printed on what seemed like flimsy color, newspaper print. I remember circling too many items, wanting everything in there, and then having to scribble out the circles because I knew I wasn't going to get EVERYTHING in the catalog. I would get just as excited when "R.I.F" came around. Does anyone remember that? ("Reading Is Fundamental"), or am I just dating myself?

Anyways, I DO remember reading a lot of material my friends thought of as odd, or at least interesting for my age. Like for example, I loved reading Encyclopedias. I especially liked visiting family or friends that had encyclopedias. In that time if you had a nice set of those on your shelf in your living room it was a big thing. It's hard to imagine now that at one point in the past there was actually such a job as "Encyclopedia Salesperson". Seems funny now being how obsolete they are in today's society. I also indulged in books about psychology, how the brain works and human nature in general. Books you probably wouldn't find in your average teen's locker, I'm sure. I don't think I'm completely sure why I was so fascinated by those books at the time, but I was. I DID have some "normal" fun, age appropriate books as well, which I feel balanced it all out, such as the movie picture books of the "Star Wars" trilogy, (the original)"Clash Of The Titans", and "Gremlins". Hey, whaddya expect? I was a teenager of the 80's! And I LOVED it.

So decades later, I find myself on this teen angst book kick lately. Almost like I may subconsiously be feeling like I have some catching up to do with these books that I probably could've used back then. Now this one in particular actually didn't come out in my time. It's only been out for about ten years or so, so I would've been about 30 at the time. Still way past the teen years. I didn't realize it came out so long ago until after I read it. I'm supposing the LONG awaited movie that's out has something to do with it's resurgence.

"THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER" BY STEPHEN CHBOSKY Okay, back to the book. Our unlikely hero is "Charlie", (which his name I love because it happens to be my DRAG name), an almost autistic like, (either that or he just has some major issues, which he does) is a shy, sweet, polite teenager with extraordinary powers of observation. So much so that it grabs the attention of a couple of almost "in-kids" at his school who take him under his wing, and help transform him from "wallflower" to one who participates, and gets on the dance floor of life. Those friends mainly consists of his "two favorite people" very gay, and out Patrick, and his sister who he's totally in love with but he's not supposed to be, "Sam".

The thing about Charlie though is that he's made out to be some kind of introvert, but this Clark Kent takes off the glasses, breaks out of his shell, and kicks ass (literally) when he has to. The book completely consists of letters that Charlie sends each one with a "Love always Charlie" to someone we never get to know who it is, except for the fact that this person is an adult. He begins this journal to the self after his best friend commits suicide, and it is suggested to him that he writes out his problems for therapuetic purposes. Surprise, surprise,(NOT), later on he talks about becoming a writer which his new circle of friends encourage him to do, even to the point of getting him a suit because "all the great writers wore a suit", and an antique typewriter. One of my favorite parts in the book. I have one of those myself. This book deals with many issues, and ups, and downs of being a teenager. Much of this that I believe people carry into their adulthoods. Issues of sexuality, drugs, abuse, and self identity.

Like the many conversations I've had with people about this is that I believe that highschool is a microcosm of society. That guy who was a prick back in highschool, is probably still a prick. That girl was a stuck-up bitch back then....most likely STILL is. I would recommend this book to everyone, of all ages. But especially today's teens who I think need it the most being that they are at their peak of struggling with all this bullshit. Which brings me to another puzzling fact. This book has actually been banned, and or "challenged" in certain places in the U.S. I find it very interesting that pretty much any book having to do with real issues such as sex, abortion, and drug abuse get banned or challenged.

HELLO! This is LIFE. These are the things they are dealing with! They NEED to know. Don't hide it from them. That will not make these issues go away. EVER. This novel was actually the "BANNED BOOK OF THE MONTH" review featured on my monthly radio show "BOOK SLUT CLUB RADIO" episode 2 this month. Another thing I enjoyed very much was the many cultural references that were either some of my favorites, or made me curious to look them up, as far as books, movies, and poetry.

Speaking of movies, much to the dismay of my radio show co-host and I, we cannot seem to find a local theatre featuring the film adaption of this book which we were highly anticipating. Especially since the movie was basically created by the guy who wrote it. That's usually a pretty good sign that the film will be up to par with the book. It's so surprisingly enlightening. It was one of those books I was sad to see end. I really wanted to know what happens to Charlie. He's such a good kid. I want to know, does he really grow up to be a famous writer? I certainly hope so.

What is a 21st Century Feminist?

2012-09-24T13:55:00.000-07:00

by Heather Huffman

Women’s Author Says She (and He) May Look A Lot Like You!

With all the talk of a “war on women” during this explosive election year, the notion of feminism is once again in the news – and open to debate. Especially among women.

Nothing illustrates that better than the rash of commentary following the recent death of sexual-revolution era author Helen Gurley Brown, says Heather Huffman (www.heatherhuffman.net), a 35-year-old author whose newest book, “Devil in Disguise,” continues her tradition of upbeat romances featuring strong female protagonists.

“Some writers took her to task for advocating sexual freedom for women,” Huffman says. “They say she wasn’t a ‘feminist’ because she was all for promiscuity, not women’s rights, and her actions led to an explosion of single moms and STDs.

“Others viewed her as the ultimate ‘feminist,’ a heroine who chopped through a cultural thicket to break down repressive social mores.”

The truth is, Huffman says, that Brown did important work on behalf of women.

“While I don’t advocate promiscuity, I do acknowledge that Gurley Brown’s boundary-pushing stance brought the topic of women’s rights to the forefront, paving the way for change,” she says.

The problem is, she says, that when people hear the word “feminist,” they picture a woman from another time, like Helen Gurley Brown. They don’t see themselves at all.

“I hear some women say, ‘I’m not a feminist!’ They think a feminist is a strident, angry man-hater who gets up in arms over any perceived slight,” Huffman says. “That’s too bad, because the world needs feminists as much as it needs any group that advocates for human rights.”

Feminism changes with the times, she says. So what is a 21st century feminist? Huffman offers her observations:

• She (or he) supports a woman’s right to be a mom – or not. When women won acceptance and equal rights in the workplace, we were released from one box and plopped right into another one. “We went from raising children to raising children and working. Too often, that’s the expectation now,” Huffman says. Feminists support a woman’s right to choose her life’s direction, whether that’s staying at home and being mothers, choosing never to become mothers, or some hybrid of work and motherhood. “Having equal rights is having the freedom to choose our life’s direction without being subjected to discrimination because of what other people expect our role to be,” Huffman says.
• Supports removing double standards. “You still see, in the workplace and at home, the tough guy gets praised, and the tough woman, well, she’s a ‘witch’ or worse,” Huffman says. More smart, savvy women have earned respect professionally – Hillary Clinton, Condoleezza Rice, Madeleine Albright – and that’s progress, but we still have work to do. “Professional women still get criticized about their hair style, their fashion choices. Rarely are professional men snubbed for these things.”
• Understands what rights are being legislated and by whom. We all know the hot-button “values” issues that polarize voters. “The reality is a politician’s party affiliation doesn’t paint an accurate picture of who they are or what they stand for. Voting records, corporate associations, and actions are much more telling. As citizens, as women with a voice, we must do our homework to ensure our values are being reflected in Washington. And, in truth, feminism is more than a political movement – it’s the empowerment of women to live the life they were created for.”

About Heather Huffman

Heather Huffman is a women’s advocate, writer, former human relations specialist and mother of three. She and her family are currently homesteading 10 acres in the Ozarks. Huffman is the author of seven novels, including “Throwaway” and its prequel, “Tumbleweed.” A portion of proceeds from sales of her books benefit groups fighting human trafficking.

Lesbian Book Review: "Being the Steel Drummer" By Liz Bradbury

2012-09-22T08:12:00.000-07:00

BOOK REVIEW BY CYNTHIA RODRIGUEZ

"BEING THE STEEL DRUMMER" BY LIZ BRADBURY Private eye MAGGIE GALE is back! My favorite lesbo detective is back in politically correct action after about 4 years! Yes,Liz Bradbury, the one brought us the much acclaimed lesbian mystery novel "ANGEL FOOD AND DEVIL DOGS" returns to satisfy our hunger with more of the sleuthy dyke. I would also like to mention that Bradbury's first book was also my FIRST book review ever on LESBIATOPIA, back in 2008! (part of my review is on the back of her first book!) So, the story goes that not even after about a couple of months or so after the first adventure ended, is where this one begins. Poor Maggie can't get a break, however, you can tell she totally loves what she does, and she does it very well. For a quickie synopsis, to quote the back of the book: "A historic cemetary, a ghostly figure, secret passages,valuable treasure and a 140 year old romance.." And of course, what makes for a real juicy mystery: MURDER. The book is chock full of build-up that towards the end you are going nuts trying to figure out who-done-it? Honestly, I got so caught up in the plot, that by the time the sex scenes came around, or when Maggie, and the gang would talk antiques, they were mere distractions to me. I would get impatient, and think, "Okay, okay, but what's gonna happen NEXT?!" Don't get wrong. I'm all about the Lesbian lovin', but again as in the first novel, it's more sensual to me, than sexual. Very "clean", as in no dirty words involved in the ENTIRE book except for maybe "shit" and "ass". Maybe this was more noticeable to me because I had just read, and reviewed "50 Shades Of Grey" before this one, and I was used to seeing a lot of "fuck", and "cock". So, it's very Lesbian soft porn, but still hot, and very romantical, which is very refreshing. I also learned a lot about antiquing, which will come in handy when I actually have money to do so. When that time comes, at least I am in the right state, because I swear Pennsylvania has to be the capital of antique shops. As I would expect from Liz, the writing is very intelligent, witty, and politically correct. Also refreshing is an independent author who actually uses SPELL CHECK. Unfortunetly, that seems to be a rare thing when it comes to books given to me from independent writers. As in the last book, some of the phrases, and humor are a bit dated, that at times someone under thirty may not get it, but it still works. And of course, I would expect no less than a few lessons on GLBT rights, or lack of, specifically same-sex marriage. The unexpectedly quite ethnic Maggie Gale is a nice touch, (she holds her own with the Spanish language) which honestly I don't remember that from the first book, and her significant other Dr. Kathryn Anthony is a hot "Watson". Yes, since the last book they have done the Lesbian U-haul thing. A few last things to point out is the fact that the story somewhat revolves around an artist which I was very excited about, and the other is that the endnotes of the book were very educational as well as entertaining. Some of the characters were actual real people she used for the story. For example, I had fun reading afterwards on my own about Charlotte Cushman who I learned was a Shakespearan actor back in the day. I plan on doing more research about these women that apparently haven't gotten enough credit for what they did, as much as their male counterparts. The last thing is that I love how Liz uses local street names, and even local people I know, THEIR names in the book. I'm hoping someday there could be an "Officer Cindy Rodriguez" in one of the future books. Can't wait for the next book in the series: "C-NOTES AND SKI NOSE" See a pattern here? The first book started with an "A", the next one a "B", and the one coming up next with a "C". Clever, eh? Plus the first book's cover was red, this one was orange, the next one will be yellow. Can you see the rainbow forming on your book shelf? Cool, huh? Bottom line is, Bradbury delivers again. In classy, eloquent style that makes you want more Maggie Gale.

ANNOUNCEMENT: Author, and activist LIZ BRADBURY will be featured on my new, on-line radio show "BOOK SLUT CLUB RADIO" episode 2 this coming Wednesday, September 26th, 2012 8pm-9:pm on prolifickradio.com Check it out! You don't want to miss it. I'll be writing about my radio show soon as well. Now you can actually hear my VOICE while I'm ranting....

A Lesbian's View on "Fifty Shades of Grey" By E.L James

2012-07-28T18:20:00.001-07:00

A BOOK REVIEW BY CYNTHIA RODRIGUEZ

Why would a full-blown, old veteran dyke be writing a book review on the Straighty McStraighterson book of the year? Well, mostly because I was curious as to what all the hoopla was about. I had an idea, but I don't think I was ready for what was in store. And just for the record, as of yet, I have only read the first book. I do plan on reading the other two, but from what I've heard so far from everyone who's read the rest of the trilogy, it doesn't seem like I'm missing much. The word that keeps popping up the most is REPETITIVE. Okay, so for those who are STILL in the dark as to what is "FIFTY SHADES OF GREY", (HELLO, where have you been? Under a rock?), here it be in a sorta nutshell: a beautiful, college graduate is sucked into the Marquis De Sade world of a young, handsome, successful, business man named Christian Grey. Like a mullet, he's all business in the front, and all "red room of pain" party in the back. By day he is all Trump-like powerful business man, but by night with his chosen ladies he is as big, fat, freak-a-leek as they come. Can you imagine how many straight laced looking guys out there are really like this? Yes, they really do exist. You know you're out there you freakshows. But I digress. So, boy and girl meet. Boy whips girls ass with a flogger (Google it). Boy and girl fall in love. Girl leaves boy because he is emotionally unavailable. The end. Of course, I've left out the best part which is what obviously has made this trilogy a one-handed reading best seller. SEX. But not just any ol' "vanilla" sex. We are talking bondage, S&M, the good stuff, even if in light, soft core portions. It has been dubbed "mommy porn" because of it's seemingly popularity among housewives. (SEE SNL PARODY and you'll know what I mean). Apparently hardware stores are now selling out on it's most common items such as duct tape, and rope to appease this curious crowd of horny houswives. How 'bout THAT for a reality show? We have the "O.C Housewives", Atlanta, NYC, etc. How about the "FIFTY SHADES OF GREY HOUSEWIVES"? We'd see husbands coming home from work and before they know it, they'd have a gagball shoved into their mouths, and be hanging upside down wearing a collar, and a cock ring. I for one have absolutely nothing against the wonderful world of S&M. I have done more than my share of partaking. Nothing wrong with a little consensual pleasure & pain between two (or more) partners to spice things up. My biggest concern for these novices would be that they don't know what they are doing and accidently REALLY hurt themselves (and not in a good way). I wouldn't be surprised if we started seeing people making trips to the E.R for things like missing testicles, or candlewax stuck in an anus.

I can see why people say it's unrealistic. The main things that really pull on my nipple clamps in a bad way is one, how extremely annoyingly control freak Christian Grey is. I mean, really? That shit gets old real quick. No matter how much money you have. You don't tell a woman what to eat cuz you know she will cut a bitch. And two, for a VIRGIN she doesn't seem very virginly. "Oh my, he made me cum like 100 times, and I am a certified expert at giving head the VERY first time!" AS IF. (Okay, so she didn't really say that in the book, but you get the idea.) I mean seriously, only LESBIANS are that good with women, lol. J/k. (not really kidding). I feel so dirty after O.D'ing in so much hetero nookie reading. I've decided I need a break from it by diving into some good Lesbian erotica. Time for some good girl on girl action. Then I will feel normal again. As far as the book goes, it is entertaining in it's own ways. Personally, I find it quite amusing, and cute. Such a novelty. I can see the appeal. Quite frankly I'm downright jealous and kicking myself in the ass that I didn't come up with this trilogy myself. Maybe I can think of a Lesbian version that can go mainstream. "If you liked 50 Shades of Grey, you'll LOVE 50 Shades of LAVENDER!" Or something like that. Oh well. One can dream, right? Laters, baby.

Lesbian Dating: How to Take the First Step and Make it Last

2012-04-04T06:30:00.000-07:00

By: Rebecca Jones

Are you proud to be a lesbian? Although declaring yourself a lesbian is much easier now, there are many who face problems in basic relationships. Relationships are a tough call. On top of that if you are meant to deal with an added prejudice that you face from the society then relationships become a very difficult game indeed. To top it all, the yardsticks and dating tips that are easily available, mostly adhere to the traditional heterosexual couples. Does this mean that you are going to give up your choices and live life according to standards that have been set by other people? Not in the least. Help is where you look for it.

The first step

If you like a girl, how do you take the first step? Firstly you will have to ascertain that she is interested in a gay relationship. Let us say, you like a girl, but are not sure whether she is gay. How to look out for the symbols of being gay? There are many symbols that are universally associated with being a lesbian. Some of the commonest ones are a rainbow or an inverted pink triangle.

In case you cannot find such signs, try breaking the ice with her and see her opinion on various issues. You could casually bring up the lesbian topic. The best way to go about it is by going for outings or coffees together. This helps you to know and understand her as well. Remember a strong relation always starts with a strong friendship. In the course of time you can come up with the truth. You could try going to pubs instead of a cafe as it is much easier to warm up after you have had a drink or two.

Making it work

Yet the most difficult part is making the relationship last. Remember one of the most important expectations in a gay relationship is equality. Under no circumstance get dominant or let the other person dominate you. Avoid competition or role playing. Another very important aspect in this regard is to discuss whether you want to be open about your relation or keep it under wraps. Since this is a sensitive issue, you really need to ensure that both you and your partner feel the same way about this. As in any other relation sexual health goes a long way in terms of relationship maintenance. Ensure that your relationship does not die the common lesbian bed death. Take time to know and understand her. You might not need to compromise but adjusting to each other’s wants and needs is very important.

While societies all over the world are increasingly becoming tolerant of homosexual relationships, you will be well aware that there will always be some stubborn jackass out there, who will believe that such relations are ‘unnatural’ and ‘abnormal’. This makes it doubly difficult for lesbians to not just maintain a healthy relation but also lead their daily lives. That is why it is good idea to socialize with people belonging to this community. This not only helps you deal with the social isolation but also allows you to pick up tips from your surrounding on how to make your relation work.

About the author: Rebecca Jones is a passionate blogger who enjoys writing on lifestyle the most. Apart from blogging, she loves collecting expensive watches and perfumes. Currently she is busy in looking out for some nice fireplace design ideas for her new house.

"THOSE LUCKY BASTARDS"

2012-03-15T12:33:00.005-07:00

I was recently invited to perform at a poetry/open mic that was celebrating Women's History Month, where I shared my latest poetry, a couple of favorite poems from one of my favorites, Dorothy Parker, and for the first time ever I shared a blog entry rant with an audience. I wrote it just for the occasion. I actually wrote it THAT night. I was so moved by a recent conversation, it just had to be done, and it seemed like the perfect occasion, and appropriate venue for it. So, here it be:

"THOSE LUCKY BASTARDS"
by Cynthia Rodriguez

I've never wanted kids. I've talked about this, and wrote about this before. Anyone who really knows me, knows how I feel about this issue on a personal basis. They know how my uterus goes into hiding just hearing about it. However, just because it's not for me does not mean I don't appreciate the miracle of birth. I know what a beautiful, and fascinating event it is. I've seen it happen live, up close, and personal, trust me. I have the utmost respect for ANY woman who can survive that.

Now, here's the thing. For almost a year now, I have been blessed to be in the most amazing relationship ever.* This woman,is almost half my age. She's beautiful, very loving, kind, and one of the sweetest people you could ever meet.

Okay. So this is the deal. She wants my baby. I mean seriously wants my biological child. And she is the ONLY one in my entire life that has made me even remotely consider the thought of parenting.

Now here's the challenge. I can't do that. And I don't think I need to explain why to anyone, right?

We have already discussed the several options of how we can possibly, in the future, make this happen. Because of the fact that same-sex couples cannot biologically reproduce together (not yet anyway, I'm sure someone will discover something someday and get obscenely rich over it), until then, we have to rely on things such as adoption agencies, sperm banks, and turkey basters.

Meanwhile, as we both ponder on what we understand is probably going to be a very pain-in-the-ass process for us, I have a conversation the other night with a friend of mine who shared with me about a semi- recent past pregnancy she had, and lost to a man who, in my opinion, was, for lack of a better phrase now, a piece o' shit.

"Walk away"? How can a man walk away from such a precious thing of their own making? Oh, how this angers me so. I think to myself, these men, these straight men anyway, have NO idea how lucky they are. To be blessed with this ability to physically connect with their female partner in a way that I will NEVER be able to connect with mine, and just to throw it away, like many of them do, there are just no words. Spreading their seed, and not giving a damn about it. Using, and abusing the mother of their children. Something so sacred. It makes me very sad. They don't appreciate it, and they don't realize what a gift that is.

I would do and give ANYTHING to be able to knock up my girlfriend. And not that I don't already, but I would treat her like a freakin' GODDESS. She'd be on a pedestal. I'd be like, "That's right. She is carrying MY baby." (Not "SPERM DONER # 268")

These guys betta reco'nize. They are some lucky bastards.

* For those of you who are not aware, YES, I am in a relationship. My first one in almost TEN years. I will be writing about that at another time.

and yes, I've come a LONG way from my first infamous Lesbiatopia blog rant:

"NOTES FROM A MIDDLE-AGED, JADED, BITTER LESBIAN"....

Need Advice, Ask a Queer: First Girlfriend Query

2012-02-22T07:00:00.000-08:00

So, I have been dating a woman for about 2 yrs. I am 33 and this is the first woman I have ever dated. She is 40 and she has been out for awhile. Everything has been great right from the start. It felt totally different and more wonderful than anything before. I felt completely drawn to her and still do. We have a connection and chemistry that has always been there. I was not drawn to her b/c of looks at first, it was more just the connection we had and things I felt. Now we are talking about marriage and kids and I can totally see a future w her. We have such a strong, supportive, caring, communicative relationship. Lately though I have been having doubts. I thought it was b/c she was a woman and that was so different for me (and part of it might be) but now I wonder if it’s b/c looks weren’t a priority at first. I mean, I think she is cute and am attracted to her, physically our relationship is awesome. But I have wondered if I am settling b/c she may not be what I would have ideally been attracted to had I been interested in girls before. I have been thinking more and more that maybe I am attracted to girls in general and it wasn't just this one?! So there is a part of me that is curious to explore this world but there is also a part of me that is afraid to lose what I have. I am at a point in my life where I want to settle down, I want a family and my gf does too. Plus, I have heard (and have seen) about so much drama in the lesbian community and craziness etc. So getting into that does not interest me especially if it means giving up something so good to test it out. Also, I wonder if the first time you date a woman, do u usually stay w that one or b/c it’s such a change does it take some time to settle into etc?! Maybe that seems like a dumb question but those are things I have thought about. Any advice or insight would be appreciated!

Dear Questioning,

It sounds like, despite your concerns, you have a wonderful relationship going on. In my experience, most women don't stay with the first girl they have ever dated but that also tends to be because most women are very young when they meet their first girlfriend. I was young when I met my first girlfriend and was very immature. I didn't know who I was or what I wanted, so naturally the relationship didn't last because we both still needed to do a lot of growing and exploring.

I feel like your situation is a little different because you have discovered your sexuality at an older age, and despite having just come out, you are pretty self-assured person and have a strong sense of what you want in life. In regards to your relationship, you said in your letter, "Everything has been great right from the start. It felt totally different and more wonderful than anything before. I felt completely drawn to her and still do. We have a connection and chemistry that has always been there. I was not drawn to her b/c of looks at first, it was more just the connection we had and things I felt. Now we are talking about marriage and kids and I can totally see a future w her. We have such a strong, supportive, caring, communicative relationship." I can tell you that most people spend years looking for these kind of qualities in a relationship, whether it be gay or straight. Now, you are having doubts, and that is completely normal. Your concern is that looks weren't a priority at first. You have to ask yourself, in the grand scheme of life and relationships, how important can looks really be? You, yourself, stated that you have a strong connection with this woman. Beauty is on the inside and it sounds like you have found a beautiful person.

It is hard to give advice in this situation because on one hand, you have have this wonderfully symbiotic partnership with someone who you adore but on the other hand, you have never dated other women and there is a strong, innate curiosity to explore the newness of that. You are older so you want to settle down, but you are "new" to the gay community. Here is my advice to you - doubts in your relationship or not, it is most important to be honest with your partner. If you haven't considered talking to her about what you are feeling right now, even in your state of confusion, you might want to sit down and have a talk with her. She is older, mature and has most likely been in a similar state of mind at some point in her life. Talk about where you are in your relationship, and ultimately what you both want. If you feel like your inability to explore is making you unhappy, than you need to address that. If you feel that you are truly happy with this woman and just having minor doubts, then let her know as well. Be positive about it and come at from a loving, respectful place.

Just remember, whether you are gay or straight, finding a truly wonderful connection/attraction to someone is rare. Being able to see a future with someone is also rare and sometimes the grass is not always greener on the other side. If you break away to explore other women, you might find yourself ultimately coming up disappointed. Weigh your options, be open, be honest (to your partner and yourself) and follow your heart. If you do these things, you can and will find the happiness you want and deserve.

Best of luck to you in love and life!

Renee

Editor-in-Chief

Keep the Spice Alive in Your Long Term Lesbian Relationship

2012-02-20T07:00:00.000-08:00

By Rebecca Jones

In a lesbian relationship, it becomes more important to keep the intimacy, going, to make the relationship a successful one. A woman will always feel wanted in a lesbian relationship. They are always looking for comfort, security, and intimacy in a relationship. You will always know what your partner likes to hear. So tell her something that will make her feel special during and after the act. Always remind here that she means a lot to you and how much you love her. Every woman loves to hear this and she will really appreciate it. The relationship and the bond between the two will only grow stronger day by day.

Buy Some Clothes for Her

Buy clothes that will bring out the best in her. You must compliment on her looks and express your feelings. Say all the beautiful things that you can and tell her how much beautiful she looks. When you are in a lesbian relationship, you must be honest with your partner in all aspects. Do not be intimate with her just for the sake of it. Be genuine in your comments.

Get Flowers

To spice up the intimate relationship; how about decorating the bedroom with rose petals all over the place. Almost 90% of the women in a lesbian relationship love roses. Roses have a unique quality to make the woman feel special in every way. There is no hard and fast rule to buy red roses only. You can even buy white roses if you think that it will suit her better. To make it more adventurous you can actually buy both types of roses.

Lesbian Sex Manuals

Sex is purely skill based and it is not a bad idea to have a little bit of education in this field. If you feel that even roses and new clothes are not doing the trick in your relationship, there is no reason to feel despondent. Nowadays, there are great lesbian sex books that will help you and your lover learn the way the body functions. You will also get to know about different sexual techniques and the myriad ways in which you can turn yourself and your partner on.

Complement her Body

Every woman in a lesbian relationship yearns for some positive comments about her body. She will be pleased to know that there are no imperfections in her body. Do not lie to here. Just say what you like about her body truthfully and express how you feel about certain other things. No wonder, this will boost her self-esteem by a few notches.

You must encourage yourself and your woman to spice up the intimacy in your life. Always make suggestions to each other. Maybe she wants long passionate kisses or a different toy; so be open to what she says and thinks.

About the author: Rebecca is a blogger by profession. She is fond of Plus Size Winter Coats. These days she is busy in writing an article on Ivory Wedding Shoes.

New Jersey Defends Freedom to Marry for All

2012-02-18T08:34:00.000-08:00

On the Heels of Ninth Circuit Victory, AFER Congratulates New Jersey on Passage of Marriage Equality Legislation. The New Jersey Legislature passed marriage equality legislation today, joining the State of Washington as the second state in recent days to defend the fundamental freedom to marry for all of its citizens.

One week ago, the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit issued a landmark ruling upholding the historic August 2010 decision of the Federal District Court that found California’s Proposition 8 unconstitutional.

American Foundation for Equal Rights (AFER) Board President Chad Griffin issued the following statement:

“New Jersey has taken a momentous step in defending the fundamental constitutional freedom to marry for all Americans. Separate is never equal—and the New Jersey Legislature recognized that today, setting an important example for the rest of the nation.”

About the American Foundation for Equal Rights
The American Foundation for Equal Rights is the sole sponsor of the Perry case. After bringing together Theodore B. Olson and David Boies to lead its legal team, AFER successfully advanced the Perry case through Federal District Court and the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals. The Foundation is committed to achieving full federal marriage equality.

Conceiving Family

2012-02-18T07:15:00.000-08:00

Watershed Productions recently released a new documentary film entitled “Conceiving Family", which is gaining great acclaim as it starts to make the film festival circuit.

Conceiving Family follows (Director/Producer) Amy Bohigian and her partner, Jane Byers, as they adopt biracial 15 month-old twins, Franny and Theo. Their journey to becoming a family, like the other four same-sex couples, is laden with challenges, including confronting the Christian Fundamentalist foster parents who express fear that the children they’ve cared for since birth will now, “grow up to be gay” with parents who are “going to hell for their sins.” Required to live together for two weeks during the kids’ transition they confront their differences in the most surprising ways. Combining personal interviews, intimate footage, and family photos, Conceiving Family tells the collective story of what it takes to become an intentional family.

Conceiving Family Trailer from Amy Bohigian on Vimeo.

Movie Review: "The Help"

2012-02-03T10:48:00.000-08:00

"The Help"

Screenplay written, and Directed by Tate Taylor

Starring Emma Stone, Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer, and Bryce Dallas Howard

Movie review by Cynthia Rodriguez

This is the first time I can remember doing a book/movie review, and giving both FIVE stars. And it's very well deserved. As well deserved as the Oscar nominations it recieved this year, along with the SAG (Screen Actor's Guild) award for best cast in a film. I'm mucho happy it's being so recognized, and rightly so being that it was so beautifully made, and superbly acted. I believe it's a very important film that everyone should see. Very timely. Even in the year 2012. I pretty much love the movie, as much as I love the book. This is a rare occasion indeed.

Now I won't go into any type of synopsis because I've already done that. (See book review). I will, however indulge into some of the movie magic, and point out a couple things I failed to mention in the book review.

Now this movie is as close to the book as one can get. That is without turning it into a mini-series. It's already 2 1/2 hours long. But it's not the kind of long movie you couldn't watch over, and over again. It's not too "debbie downer", or anything that would stop me personally to a second helping of "The Help". It could've been. They did it just right. There was enough funny to balance out the heavy stuff.

The only, ONLY mini- complaint I have, (and it's very small), is the fact that they made Constanine's daughter black in the movie, when she was actually white in the book, which was really what all the fuss was about in that particular situation. It may not sound it, but being that racism is pretty much the theme here, it's kind of a big deal. Other than that, the movie was just...brilliant.

Now another note about the acting. I know it must have been difficult to pick just THREE from the movie to give Oscar nods. It was one of the times when the ENTIRE cast was just phenomenal. Jessica Chastain makes you fall in love with "Celia Foote", as well as her husband, Johnny. Not that I didn't in the book, but with the book I found myself feeling more sorry for her, but in the film I noticed I cheered for her more. Celia ultimately proves that her "white trash" self ends up having more class than Hilly or any of those snooty bitches she calls "friends". So Jessica definitely earned that nomination. Another one totally worth mentioning is Sissy Spacek, who was quite the leading lady herself back in the day, makes a wonderful "Ms. Walters", especially when she pokes fun at her evil daughter "Hilly". Speaking of Hilly, she's the type of character you just want to punch in the neck, and Bryce does an awesome job of you really hating her. Now's THAT'S acting. I think anytime I see her do anything else, I'll be like, "What a BITCH."

What's my favorite scene? The pie scene, of course! I must have seen that clip about a dozen times already. It just never gets old. The faces on all three characters during that scene is just absolutely priceless.

On the DVD I watched, unfortunetly there were not many special features at all, which was a bit disappointing being I'm such a special features freak. I can sit there (and I have) for endless hours with that, LONG after I've watched the film. Except for a couple of deleted scenes, and a lovely music video by Mary J. Blige, that was about it.

The other very touching part of the film, (as well as the book) is when they somewhat re-create very sad, and tragic, real life history event moments such as when activist Medgar Evans was shot, and killed in his driveway in front of his family (see "Ghosts Of Missippi" movie), and when Kennedy was killed. It all ties in with the hard life, and times of the people stuck in the middle of it all.

This movie is not only entertaining, but a history lesson we should all never forget, and a testamant to what the human spirit can accomplish when it's ready to make a change.

Book Review: "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett

2012-02-03T05:12:00.000-08:00

"The Help"
by Kathryn Stockett

book review

by Cynthia Rodriguez

I want to begin by saying this is one of the BEST books I have ever read in my life. AMAZING. A true classic. It's definitely on my top ten list of must-read. Once I started, I couldn't put it down. That doesn't happen too often.

That being said, I think there are many lessons to be learned from this book. I would recommend it to anyone, especially to people down South, where the story is based on.

Apparently, this was one of those beginner's luck, first timer's big hit situations, for Kathryn Stockett, novice novelist. Lucky biotch.

It's a story of this white lady in the South in the 60's, "Skeeter", an aspiring writer, who is sympathetic to the black maids in the area at the time, and decides to write a book about what their lives are like being black maids in the South working for white families, in the 1960's, with a little help from her "co-writer" "Aibileen" (one of the maids) and Aibie's BFF (another maid) "Minny". Not only because she thinks it would give her a shot at being a big time writer, but because she believes it would make an impact on society, help "change things".

Not hard to figure out the main theme of the book: racism. Personally, I cannot believe all this really occured, or I should say I wish it didn't. Now the book itself may or may not be based on a true story, but it doesn't matter, we all know things like this really happened back then, and unfortunetly some of it still does. And this wasn't that long ago. Been about fifty years. When I was born, it had only been not even a decade that segregation was going on, and there were actually public signs up throughout the country talkin' about "white fountain/colored fountain", "colored bathroom", etc. What a disgrace. Slavery didn't end when honest ol' Abe said so. It too MANY years after that for it to truly be over.

You know what truly, absolutely kills me about all this mess? It's the fact that these people, these maids were apparently good enough to raise these white people's own children, holding them, feeding them, change their diapers, (these kids LOVED them), but they weren't good enough to share a BATHROOM with. How retarded is that? It makes NO sense.

If you read the book, after the ending you can see the author's own personal story about her growing up with "The Help". About her own experience being raised by a black maid in her family called "Too Little, Too Late". You can tell she IS "Skeeter". So again, even if it's not a true story, it comes pretty damn close.

Now let's talk about the South for a minute. No, I'm not gonna be one of those "damn yankees" as they call us, and do any kind of south bashing. That's not the point of this paragraph. I have visited the southern part of the Mason-Dixon line a number of times (I'm not including Florida, because I don't really consider them "The South"), and honestly, most of what I saw was very charming. It's true what they say about southern hospitality. Whether some of them are faking it or not, it's still quite lovely, especially compared to the North Eastern's rudeness that makes us, (especially New Yorkers) so popular. I remember many moons ago, when I went to visit a then girlfriend in Birmingham commenting on their cityscape after she picked me up at the bus stop: "Wow, you guys have big buildings!", she responded with, "Yeah, how 'bout that? We also have electricity, and running water!" This slightly awkward moment proved to me us Northerner's sometime sense of superiority amongst our Southern neighbors can be a little obnoxious to some. I went into this little vacay at the time thinking I may never come back to my family because I'd be lynched on some back road by toothless, redneck, hooligans in their beat up pick-up truck, and would drag me kicking and screaming to the nearest Magnolia tree to string me up for being the only Puertorican in Alabama. Of course she DID warn me that there were SOME parts of the state that were still like that, and of course we steered clear of those parts. However to this day, I still can't help feeling some kind of disdain for people who drive around with either a Dixie license plate or Dixie flag. Especially when they live up North, as in PENNSYLVANIA. I think to myself, "HELLO? What do you even KNOW about all that? Is it because you think it looked cute on the "General Lee" car in the "Dukes Of Hazzard"?? And to those in the South still going on about the whole, "THE SOUTH WILL RISE AGAIN", I say PUH-LEEZE, build yourself a bridge, and GET OVER IT ALREADY. That was a LONG time ago, the civil war. You'se guys LOST. (Yes, I'm using the N.Y accent and grammar that annoys some of you so much.) Time to move on.

I guess some things never change, though. And some people never change. Perfect example: the KKK, and all their little modern day neo-nazi, skinhead groups, wanna-be 3rd Reichs. Hi there. Would you like to join us in the 21st century? I mean, seriously, get over yourselves with your God complex. And speaking of that, the villain in the book, "Hilly" is pretty much the epitome of evil, in all of the above in this paragraph. Except she's wrapped up in a pretty, little debutante, society girl package with her bridge club games, and benefit parties as fundraisers for the "Starving Children of Africa" which everyone knows she doesn't really give a shit about.

And back then, even MORE so than now, the politics were real crooked, and the politicians were OPENLY racist. Mayors, and Governors saying we were better off segregated. "Equal, but separate" they said. What a crock o' shit.

Now moving on to my favorite character in the book. "Minny". I LOVE Minny. I mean, I absolutely ADORE her, and I want her to be my new BFF. Now she's the one in the book that don't take no shit from NOBODY. It's also why she always gets into some kind of trouble. Especially, in that town, at that time, her mouth is a danger to herself, and those around her. You gotta admire her spirit though, and her courage, especially when she ends up doing something in particular to protect not necessarily herself, but those she loves.

That brings me to the other heroine in the story, "Aibileen", the one who ends up bringing all the other maids, including Minny, to Skeeter that she needs to write her book. She's not exactly the rabble rouser like Minny but is very strong woman, with also a great spirit, who is quietly courageous. Aibie has a long time habit of making "prayer lists" in helping people in her circle by including them in her nightly prayers which she writes down, instead of just memorizing. Myself, not being necessarily religious, but spiritual, found this to be a great idea, which I will start implementing in my own life. Thank you Aibie.

And finally, getting back to our author, Ms. Stockett has graciously included a "reading guide" with questions in the back of the book made for book clubs. I always find those entertaining. At my book club, "Book Slut Club", we always like to read out loud, and kind of make fun of those reading guides. I don't have anything against them. They are good to have. However, I believe that after reading a book like this, if you don't have a clue what to talk about, you probably shouldn't be reading it in the first place.

Pin Up of the Day: New England Patriots Cheerleaders

2012-01-23T04:19:00.001-08:00

Well, its official. The New England Patriots are getting a chance at redemption against the New York Giants, who they lost against at Super Bowl 42 just a few years back. I'm a diehard Pats fan... Who will you be rooting for this year?

Queers Land: New Queer WebSeries on YouTube

2012-01-22T16:19:00.000-08:00

Queers Land is a new queer webseries to check out on YouTube - Click the link, show 'em some love.

About "Queers Land" The Series

Queers Land is a light hearted tongue in cheek mocumentary web Series starring The Fagtastic Rhys Emmett Rathbone & Dyknamic Leah Pellinkhof showing the hilarious side and the delicate hearts of the beautiful unique and diverse people that make up the colours of the rainbow pride flag

In this hellarious Series the Comic Duo play dual lead roles in six different story lines. Drag Queen & Choreographer, Hippy Lesbians, A country dyke and her homophobic brother, Ultra Attractive Queers, an actor in the closet and his Agent and Bisexual emo teens. Follow them as they pursue of their dreams, hopes and ambitions, Often funny, occasionally heart breaking and always Queer

Book Review: "Transition" by Chaz Bono

2012-01-19T21:33:00.001-08:00

"Transition" by Chaz Bono

book review by Cynthia Rodriguez

Yes, your favorite, friendly, gayborhood A.D.D pain-in-the-ass book reviewer is back! Sorry for the six month hiatus. I'll try not to let that happen again. Okay, moving right along...

So I wish I had known about, and read Bono's other two books "Family Outing", and "End Of Innocence" prior to getting my hands on "Transition". I felt like I was watching a movie sequel without catching the original. And I hate watching sequels without seeing part one, and two, and...ten, etc. I understand that it's not necessary in this case, but I'm still interested, which of course is a pretty good indication that I enjoyed this book.

I must say, I feel like it truly takes some major cojones to really put yourself out there in the public eye, and open up with such a tell-all story such as "Transition". I highly commend Chaz for it. No doubt, it is a courageous act, and not just in the actual physical transition itself but for sharing it with the whole world. You can tell how hard-core honest he is with his experience. Both the good, the bad, and everything in between, especially when it was all so recent at the time. The only thing about that I am curious about is how his family, friends, and then partner feel, or felt at the time knowing it was such an expose on not just himself, but everyone around him. In a memoir like that, there is no changing the names to protect the innocent, and the guilty. There is much name dropping. Certainly not in a malicious way, but just at times I'm sure it was painfully honest. I wonder if there were any of that, "I can't believe you mentioned that about me!" going on from someone talked about in the book.

One thing I have to mention before I go on is I couldn't help but think that she did sometimes suffer from what she calls the "poor little rich kid syndrome". I was torn. I realize she did obviously go through A LOT with this whole ordeal, but at the same time I thought to myself, "I'd seriously consider giving up my left tit for your kind of life." Traveling, traveling, traveling. Being a recording artist/rock star for fifteen minutes. Growing up with that kind of fortune, and fame. It's better than collecting unemployment. Okay, po' person bitterness aside...

I most definitely walked away from it with a much better understanding of what a trans person must go through. I won't say I'm some kind of expert now because I read his book about it. Like he says, it's different for everyone. Like everyone else, everybody has their own path. Meaning I won't go around telling every trans person I know, "Hey, I know exactly what you're going through because I read Chaz's book!" I'd say that would be pretty darn ignorant.

It also concretely confirms my own sexual gender indentity once, and for all. Meaning that at one point in my younger life, (as I've shared this with few people), I too once thought about transitioning. This was more in my earlier, developmental years. This was before I even knew what the word "transition" meant, (in that context), before EVERYBODY knew what it meant. I don't even remember that word used in the 80's! Now everyone talks about it, or at least has heard of it.

I actually shared with my girlfriend not too long ago, (yes, I have one of those now, thus my hiatus), using the book as an example. I told her, "He said he never wanted his then "her" breasts touched during sex. That it didn't feel right, natural, or good." I believe this was the clincher for me. Personally, being that although I wish I would have been a little more endowed, I know for a fact I enjoy my breasts very much, and I like them being enjoyed by someone else too, so I was like, "You know what? I LOVE being a woman." I never felt those things he did, so I know I'm in the right body, as imperfect as it may be, it suits me just fine.

I'm glad I never acted on those feelings when I was younger. (Not that I would have been able to afford it anyways), but this is exactly why I must say I have mixed feelings about some of our "transgender youth", especially since I personally know of some that have felt the same way, and it turned out that it WAS temporary. A phase. Not saying this applies to everyone, but I know it happens. Just my own belief but I feel that taking the hormones and actually physically transitioning should not be done until a person is at 18 years of age, when they would be considered a "legal" adult. I HAVE seen the documentaries on transgender youth, and I know it's a very real issue. Not disputing that fact, however, that's where I stand on that.

I attended a trans health conference a few years back for my then job, and it was also very enlightening, and educational. I feel like I still had many questions on the subject. More than what I came in with. I certainly want to learn more in order to erase any unnecessary fears, and ignorance I know I still have, including the fact that I am still in disagreement about unisex bathrooms, although there seems to be more, and more of those popping up in places, especially like in Philadelphia where I had my first experience with a unisex bathroom, and felt like I was in an episode of Ally McBeal.

I really don't like the idea of sharing a public restroom with men. Biological OR Transgender males. I have to admit, it makes me a little uncomfortable. I've always looked at a woman's public restroom as a safe haven of sorts where women (unlike men) usually travel to in flocks, but not just for it's original purpose. It's also a temporary escape from the official social gathering waiting outside it's doors. It's a place for the 5 minute gossip about the evening, where your femme friends touch up their make-up, where you can ask a total stranger (another woman) if she has a spare tampon, and if you're lucky, occasionally have that drunken, slutty moment at the local gay club where you end up making out with someone in there you just bumped, and grinded with on the dance floor. All of the above, not so much possible in a unisex restroom.

(A little post book update, the book itself ends with Chaz getting the top surgery, and being with his then girlfriend Jenny. I believe now they are not together anymore, and he is going for bottom surgery.)

I know I totally digressed as usual, but Chaz really does touch on almost all of these things in the book. This is just my take on it. I like to think that is part of what these types of books do. Crack open wide some dialogue.