For more information, check out the Facebook Page for BC and Alberta Guide Dog Services at http://www.facebook.com/bcandalbertaguidedogservices, or their website at http://www.bcguidedog.com.

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To view this on a mobile device, try this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=un9gakM1drY

YouTube Link: (Note: YouTube was playing it back at half speed, so I tweaked it until it worked properly… (Weird…):

www.youtube.com/watch?v=un9gakM1drY

One day a father gets out of work and, on his way home, he suddenly remembers that it’s his daughter’s birthday. He pulls over to a toy shop and asks the sales person, “How much for one of those Barbie’s in the display window?”

The salesperson answers, “Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95.”

The amazed father asks: “It’s what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?”

The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: “Sir…, Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken’s car, Ken’s house, Ken’s boat, Ken’s furniture, Ken’s computer, one of Ken’s friends, and a key chain made with Ken’s balls.”

(Ouch! Ladies, we’re not really like this…)

Women are angels!

Women are Angels.

When someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly on a broomstick…

We’re flexible like that.

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Sources for this viral email are unknown. ea/

Enjoy!

Enjoy this joke I received a few years ago from a viral email! Make sure you scroll to the bottom, too, to see a funny poster I found in Flickr Creative Commons.

Cheers,

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HUSBAND QUOTES

1. I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.

2. Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

3. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, “What’s on the TV?” I said, “Dust!”

4. In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

5. Why do men die before their wives? They want to.

6. What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.

7. A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Grafton Street and said “I haven’t eaten anything in four days.” She looked at him and said, “God, I wish I had your willpower.”

8. Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.

9. Young Son: “Is it true, Dad? I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her.” Dad: “That happens in every country, son!”

10. A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: WIFE WANTED. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: YOU CAN HAVE MINE.

11. The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

12. First guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!” Second guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

13. How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

14. Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

15. If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

16. Then there was a man who said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.”

17. A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” And the father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying!”

18. I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was “Always.”

Aren't women wonderful?

Poster source: Ballistik Coffee Boy, http://www.flickr.com/photos/spaceageboy/3341956878

C-5

While the C-5 was turning over its engines, a female crewman gave the G.I.’s on board the usual information regarding seat belts, emergency exits, etc.

Finally, she said, “Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to Afghanistan.”

An old Master Sergeant, sitting in the eighth row, thought to himself, “Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman?”

When the attendant came by, he said, “Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?”

“Yes!” said the attendant. “If fact, this entire crew if female.”

All-female C-5 crew, US Airforce

“My God,” he said, “I wish I had two double scotch-and-sodas. I don’t know what to think with only women up there in the cockpit.”

“That’s another thing, Sergeant,” said the crew member, “We no longer call it the ‘cockpit’!

“It’s the ‘box office’…”

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

Whatever you give a women, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of s**t!

(Discovered via viral email!)

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Why do you ask?

Lipstick? What lipstick?

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(As seen on viral email)

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A kid's perspective on older media formats

The Princess said, “NO!”

And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf and dated women half his age and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

The End

(From a friend. He’s a guy.)