The first person I spoke to, a sole-trader freelancer, wouldn’t even quote an hourly, daily . . . → Read More: DIY or (Wo)Man who can?]]> Updating this website has been an ongoing back-burner project for most of this year, but finally was moved to the front ring of the cooker this month.  I had a fairly clear idea about what I wanted, but none on how to achieve it.  So I started looking around.

The first person I spoke to, a sole-trader freelancer, wouldn’t even quote an hourly, daily or fixed cost rate, muttering darkly that no-one was ever willing to pay him to do the job properly.  I moved on.  The second people I spoke to were a local web-design company, with a funky website of their own that caught my eye.  At the meeting, they first flattered me by telling me how special my business was, and how they were willing to do a really good deal in order to have me on their portfolio – and then tried to sell me their standard five-page package at their standard price.  I moved on. I then emailed a selection of locally-based firms whose own websites didn’t seem too deathly dull.  I was quoted everything from £500 to £10,000.  None of them filled me with reassurance that they would give me what I needed.

I was facing the dilemma that every small- or one-man business faces.  Do it yourself, or pay a “(wo)man who can”?  I’m willing to tackle pretty much everything involved in running Let’s Talk – accounts, marketing, tax, budgeting, purchasing, in fact just about anything but Graphic Design – but it’s always a balance between speed, quality, cost and best use of time.   

Finally I bit the bullet, and decided to built this site myself.  It’s been a lot of work and a sharp learning curve, but I’m loving the control it is giving me.   I opted for WordPress as my platform,  for its ease of use, it’s infinite customisability, and its popularity.  Popularity is particularly important, because it means every time I hit a problem, Google could find countless others who had run into the same problem and found a solution.  

What I am really enjoying is the total control, and the flexibility.  It’s taken a fair old chunk of time, and some wee-hour-candle-burning, but I hope you are enjoying the browsing as much I enjoyed the building.   Feedback always welcome by comments below.

1) Breathe – if you don’t breathe, you can’t speak!   Yes, I know everybody says “breathe”, but that’s because it works! 

If you are having an attack of . . . → Read More: How to Deal with Stagefright]]>  Here’s the good news – nobody ever died of stage fright! But sometimes it feels like you might. There are some ways to deal with it.  Here’s three simple ideas for you to try:-

1) Breathe – if you don’t breathe, you can’t speak!
 
Yes, I know everybody says “breathe”, but that’s because it works! 

If you are having an attack of stage-fright, you are suffering from the effects of a dose of adrenaline, a powerful drug released by your body in times of stress.  One of the effects of this drug is to make your heart race, and your breathing fast and shallow.  Great if you’re about to fight a sabre-tooth tiger, but less useful when presenting this year’s results to the shareholders. 

Deep and slow breathing will flush your system with oxygen, which will relax your body, focus your mind, and help your heart beat normally again.

 2) Look Out Not In – it’s not always about you!
 
Think about your audience, not yourself.  Performance fear is the worry of getting it wrong, of looking foolish, of making a mistake.  It’s all centred on you. 

But you can change that focus – think about your audience’s needs.  What are they hoping to hear?  What are their anxieties?  How can you help them see the value in what you have to say?  What will capture their hearts and minds. 
Most audiences want a speaker to succeed, they are hoping to be engaged and entertained – they are on your side.  Think of them as friends, prepare to talk to them as friends, and be concerned for their well-being, not your own.

3) Fake It - everyone else does!

Not as dishonest as it sounds. 

If you watch a video of yourself speaking in public, I guarantee you’ll be surprised by how confident you look.  We can’t see how fast your heart is beating, or that your knees are trembling.  Most of your nervousness is invisible.  

Now play a game with yourself.  You might not be feeling confident, but you can act the part of someone who is!  In your mind, decide on the personality of a dynamite speaker,  It could be someone you have actually heard, or someone you make up.  Think about how they would walk, how they would look at the audience, how they would sound. 

Simply act as if you were that presenter.  Stand tall, speak up, look confident.  You’ll be amazed at how easy it is to fool yourself into actually feeling  more confident too.

(this post also available as a free downloadable resource from the Resources page.)

There is a widely peddled myth that emotion has no place in the business world.  This is patently untrue to anyone who has ever worked in any organisation.  Businesses are all about emotion.  In fact they are driven by them – ambition, fear, passion, greed, powerlust, altruism, even love.  Feelings are what get us out of bed in . . . → Read More: Three myths of public speaking]]> Myth no.1 -  Avoid Getting Emotional

There is a widely peddled myth that emotion has no place in the business world.  This is patently untrue to anyone who has ever worked in any organisation.  Businesses are all about emotion.  In fact they are driven by them – ambition, fear, passion, greed, powerlust, altruism, even love.  Feelings are what get us out of bed in the morning and into the office, and feelings, positive or negative, shape our entire experience of the working world.

Anyone who thinks that presenting to a business audience is about giving them the bare facts with no emotional content is a speaker guaranteed to have their audience asleep within the first 30 seconds.  Audiences need an emotional context – they need to know not only what the facts are, but how you want them to feel about the facts.  If there is no emotional hook, they will not pay attention, and will not remember a thing. 

Think about a speaker who has made an impact on you – were they carefully “neutral” – not a chance!  Once you realise this, you understand that your job as a passionate speaker is to let your audience know how you feel about your material, and they in turn will know how to feel about it.  Then, and only then, will it be memorable.

Myth no. 2 – You can’t go wrong with Powerpoint^©

Every one of us has sat through “Death by PowerPoint^©“. And yet as soon as we are asked to talk to any group of people bigger than three, we reach for the company Corporate Style Bullet Point Template. Why inflict this on fellow humans?

The key question to ask yourself is where do you want your audience to look – at you, or at the screen?. And 90% of the time the answer must be “at you”. Remember point 1 above – the emotional content is paramount. Nobody’s going to get that from a series of bullet points, no matter how beautifully indented! So use slides for the moments when you specifically want your audience to look at a piece of visual information – but the rest of the time you should be their focus.

Slides must support you, not the other way round. Slides are great to show complex data that are hard to describe in words – graphs, grids, charts. Slides are also fantastic for showing visual images – photos, diagrams, mind-maps. And PowerPoint can also allow you to show video, play music, build pictures.

The rest of the time, your audience should be looking at you.

Myth no. 3 – Speakers Are Born, Not Made

It’s easy to believe that some people just never get nervous, while others (like you!) are always going to be terror-struck.

Everyone gets nervous. Yes, everyone. Lawrence Olivier, star of stage and screen without peer, used to throw up in the wings before going on stage. Enrico Caruso, Peter O’Toole, Barbara Steisand, Iggy Pop, Donny Osmond, Kate Hudson, Daryl Hannah, Courtney Cox Arquette – the list of famous performers who suffered bouts of stage fright is endless.

And there are a number of things you can do about your nerves:-

•  use breathing and other exercises to lessen the symptoms.
•  use visualisations and affirmations to boost your confidence
•  rehearse, rehearse, rehearse, until you feel more confident
•  watch yourself on video to see how less nervous you look compared to how you feel
• decide to enjoy the buzz of adrenaline, rather than dread it!

And the good news is, the more you speak in public, the easier it will get.

(this post also available as a free downloadable resource from the Resources page.)

This was a first – I was asked to work with Elected Members of the council. I have often worked with employees and officers of Local Authorities, but Coventry have had the great idea of offering personal development courses to it’s elected Councillors.

This was a cross-party group of attendees, and I’m pleased to . . . → Read More: Yah Boo Politics]]> Presenting with Passion – Elected Members, Coventry City Council

This was a first – I was asked to work with Elected Members of the council. I have often worked with employees and officers of Local Authorities, but Coventry have had the great idea of offering personal development courses to it’s elected Councillors.

This was a cross-party group of attendees, and I’m pleased to report that politics never once reared it’s head, everyone worked well together, and it was impossible to tell who was from which side of the benches.

However, what for me was the most interesting moment came right at the end, during feedback. One Councillor said that what he had learnt that day would be most useful outside of the council chamber, addressing community groups, public forums and the like. Inside the chamber, he said, it doesn’t matter how clear, passionate or engaging you are – you will still be shouted down by the opposition. “It’s just yah-boo” he insisted, and his colleagues all agreed. How sad. Yet I hold out for the hope that passionate and well delivered speeches might just break through the barriers of doctrine and engage with the hearts and minds even of our political opponents.

I was invited run a taster session by the Organisational Development department of a university, for a group of participants who were by and large postgraduate members of the lecturing staff.  Early in the session it became clear to me that I was facing a . . . → Read More: What Exactly Do You Mean When You Ask Me To ‘Just Be Myself’?]]>  A recent event has reminded me of the importance of clearly setting up the framework within which I operate.

I was invited run a taster session by the Organisational Development department of a university, for a group of participants who were by and large postgraduate members of the lecturing staff.  Early in the session it became clear to me that I was facing a large amount of resistance, something that has never before happened to me on a Presenting with Passion workshop.  I stopped what we were doing, and invited discussion to discover what the problem was.

It turns out that this particular group had very specific expectations of what they would be getting.  They felt that they are placed in a unique situation with very particular problems – that of a lecturer faced with a large student body – and that they have special issues entirely related to their material and their audience.

“We sometimes have to lecture to up to 300 students. They walk in and out, they don’t listen, they play with their mobile phones.” 

They were disappointed that I was not going to hand them a written checklist of dos and don’ts specifically to guide them in how to manage this problem of a large disinterested student audience and technical content.

Given this background of expectation, I am not surprised that they were dissatisfied with what I offered. My entire focus is on the inner state of the presenter, the quality of the relationship between presenter, material and audience, and the emotional journey that ensues.  Experience has taught me that this is the vital area – once this is understood and improved, everything else falls into place, irrespective of the material and the audience makeup. 

This group of academics understandably had a very different perspective. They could not perceive how my approach could address their particular problems as they saw them, and unsurprisingly they were much more comfortable theorising and analysing possible techniques than getting up and trying them (“what exactly do you mean when you ask me to ‘just be myself’?”).

Since that day, I work hard at the beginning of each session to understand the expectations of the group, and then to state absolutely clearly the assumptions that underlie my presentation skills training:-

• that we are all naturally good communicators
• that we all already know how to package and present information
• that in non-stress situations with friends and family we are more than capable of engaging listeners and holding their attention but that these well-developed skills are distorted and suppressed by the stress of standing in front of a group for a formal presentation
• that this stress and anxiety is a state that is generated internally, by our reaction to the perceived “threat” of an audience. It causes us to lose our natural presence and self
• that this response is in fact independent of the audience and the material we have to deliver. However, it is very much influenced by our perception and our framing of the audience and the material we have to deliver
• that the best way to improve performance in presentation is to discover how those stresses manifest to block our natural style, and to find ways for releasing ourselves from those blocks
• that it is entirely possible to transform the energy of anxiety into a more productive energy that feeds into engagement with the audience
• that if a presenter focuses all their energy into engaging with their audience, and taking them on an emotional journey, all other aspects of the presentation (voice, eyes, posture, projection, etc.) take perfect care of themselves.

What I have discovered is that there is a major advantage of being very clear about my assumptions and my area of work. Not only does it pre-empt confusion about, and consequential resistance to, my style of intervention, but it also means that participants have now made a powerful and positive choice to work on their own fears and blocks.

At the end of the session, somebody asks me “This is all very well, but we only dealt with upbeat topics.  What if I have to deliver bad news, such as redundancies?”

I replied “The fact is, the challenge is identical.  The task is still to take your audience on an emotional journey.  In . . . → Read More: Bad News]]> Presenting With Passion course at TRW Cooper Standard Automotive

At the end of the session, somebody asks me “This is all very well, but we only dealt with upbeat topics.  What if I have to deliver bad news, such as redundancies?”

I replied “The fact is, the challenge is identical.  The task is still to take your audience on an emotional journey.  In theory you could have delivered your message by email, by letter, even by text.    The fact that you understood instinctively that this was an incredibly insensitive thing to do means that you realise that you have brought people together so you can address their feelings as well as passing on the information.  So the key question is still “what do you want your audience to feel?”  Anger at the board?  Cared for by their managers?  Sorry for their colleagues?  There is an emotional reason why you called them together into the room, and that is what you must tap in to.  Let them know how you feel, and they will know how to feel themselves.”

The participants are 14 young people from all around the world, on their Graduate Training programme. Working with a multinational group is interesting. Half the group do not have English as their first language, although all have an acceptable level as English is the working language of the business. I have to remember to speak more slowly and clearly than . . . → Read More: Breakthrough]]> Presenting with Passion course.

The participants are 14 young people from all around the world, on their Graduate Training programme. Working with a multinational group is interesting. Half the group do not have English as their first language, although all have an acceptable level as English is the working language of the business. I have to remember to speak more slowly and clearly than my usual rather excited gabble. When we play the “2-object story” game, and someone calls out “smoking”, I am the last person in the room to realise this is not the smelly activity, but the word in several European languages for gents formal attire!

Great to see a few breakthroughs. Most notably a young lad of Oriental origin who confessed to a loathing of speaking in public, and great anxiety at the thought of it. His presentation exercises are at first dull and lifeless, as he hides himself behind a screen of fear. He makes little audience contact, his focus is mostly internal as he tries to remember what he is saying next. I encourage him to look into the eyes of each audience member, but to no avail. His eye contact is a superficial sweep – he is still preoccupied with himself. His piece is a story about a failure of communication in a design process, that cost the company a lot of money. I ask him what is for me always the key question – “what do you want the audience to feel?” He says anger and frustration. I ask him to let us see the anger and frustration he himself feels. Transformation! His next attempt starts quietly and again hesitant, but gradually a stream a frustration starts flowing from him. He stands straighter, he looks directly as us, we are swept along with the emotion of his story. It’s like a whole new person has appeared before us. Afterwards, everyone congratulates him, and a glimmer of understanding appears in his eyes. When I ask him how he feels now, a slight smile passes his lips. “Good”, he says.

The first part of a Presenting With Passion day usually consists of a series of games and exercises around fluidity and ease of speech.   I do this for fun and energy, and also to give people the confidence that they actually can speak without preparation and notes.  One or two of the games I . . . → Read More: Fear and Demons]]> Presenting with Passion  – Telford and Wrekin District Council

The first part of a Presenting With Passion day usually consists of a series of games and exercises around fluidity and ease of speech.   I do this for fun and energy, and also to give people the confidence that they actually can speak without preparation and notes.  One or two of the games I play in this section require people to respond very quickly.  The game will go faster and faster until people cannot keep up, which enables them to “fail” at a simple task, and to realise that “failure” can be fun, and doesn’t actually matter.  This is tremendously liberating, and leads to enhanced bravery later in the day.

Occasionally, it goes differently.  Some people become very anxious by the “failure”, and put further pressure on themselves to “succeed”.  This in turn increases their anxiety, until their mind goes blank and they “fail” repeatedly.  This leads to some very useful and revealing discussion around the assumptions we make about what is expected of us, the kinds of pressure we put on ourselves to “be perfect”, and the paradoxical negative results of that self-imposed pressure.  I then give players explicit permission to “fail” as spectacularly as they can, at which point the standard of play invariably improves.

During a training day at Telford and Wrekin council, one participant became increasingly upset during this game, and despite encouragement to relax, to not care about the result, to just go with the flow, she became more and more blocked, and finally announced she couldn’t participate any more and left the room pretty much in tears.  I am pleased to say that she made the brave choice soon after to return and continue, and actually excelled and made great strides in the later parts of the day.

However, what surprised me was what she wrote on her First Level evaluation form at the end of the day.  Alongside the more positive comments, she wrote that she could have done with “less pushing and a bit more care during the first hour”.  Which means my gentle suggestions of, “don’t worry about the outcome”, “allow yourself to get it wrong”, “we don’t care what comes out of your mouth” etc.,  all intended to reduce the anxiety and pressure so that she could participate more easily, had somehow been interpreted as “pushing and lack of care”. 

This is a really useful reminder to me how much we externalise the internal demons that block us.  Speaking in public is a stressful and fear-producing activity.  But like all stress and fear, it is caused not by external events, but by our beliefs about those events.  A tiger does not make us afraid.  Our fear depends on whether we believe it is safely contained behind bars, or is free to represent a direct threat to us. And yet we prefer to simply say “the tiger made me scared”, and deny any responsibility.  In a similar fashion, people often project their fears about making presentations on their audience, their material, their situation, their status.  It is much easier than acknowledging that our anxiety is self-created and can therefore, with the right tools, be self-defeated.