^{It’s normal to hit a decluttering slump; we ALL run out of steam sometimes. But if you’re ready to get back on track, here are five concrete steps to take to get your house and life back.}

A few years ago, my mother-in-law gave us two giant boxes of photo albums from my husband’s childhood. We lived in an apartment at the time and I was admittedly less than eager to find somewhere to store a couple decades of school portraits, scouting badges, journals, and sports participation certificates.

But we found a place for the boxes, not just in the apartment we lived in then but the townhouse that came after that. Life felt too full at the time for us to devote the mental and emotional bandwidth to sorting through all that memorabilia.

When we moved again, though, I vowed as I lifted those boxes that it was time.

A few months later, I sat on the carpet of my bedroom, the contents of those boxes fanned out around me. My husband and I spent hours squinting at pictures, deciding what to save and what to throw out—finally narrowing the collection down to a modest stack of photos and documents.

I had just hauled a huge bag out to the recycling bin when I came back inside and realized there was a third box. A smaller one, but still, a third box. 

When You’re Just Plain Done

At the moment, my husband and I were out of reserves. We couldn’t make one more decision that night without tipping over the edge and into Crazyland.

So we put a pin in it.

For… at least a month. 

That third box—pushed up against the wall of our bedroom—stared me down every time I woke up and every time I went to sleep. I just didn’t have it in me yet to crack it open.

I knew I needed to shake out my shoulders and take a rest before I tackled it again, and I was okay with that. But I remember a time earlier in my minimalism journey when I thought I wasn’t allowed to have slumps like this one—or when my decluttering slumps really set me back.

A reader named Amanda recently said this about her decluttering slumps:

“I have so much clutter that it gives me anxiety to start. Then when I do get started, I suddenly hit a brick wall, get anxiety AGAIN, and stop. Then I get discouraged and wait FOREVER to even try again. Can anyone else relate to this cycle?? You make good progress and then all your work goes down the drain and you’re back to square one. ”

Amanda is definitely not alone in this. We all run out of steam sometimes. But the difference between someone whose home never really changes and someone whose home does is that the second person takes the following steps, in one form or another:

5 Concrete Steps to Take When You Hit a Decluttering Slump

1. Believe that losing motivation doesn’t have to mean giving up. 

Running out of steam doesn’t have to mean more than, well, you ran out of steam! But too often we fall into the trap of believing that it’s over, subscribing all too easily to thoughts like these: 

What was I thinking? I’ll never clear all of this clutter. 

Who do I think I am? I’ve always lived with clutter and always will. 

I knew I couldn’t do this—I never finish projects I start. 

Think of it this way: Would you have this same reaction if you felt discouraged about your job for a week or two? Or if you felt some tension in one of your closest relationships or hit a tough season in parenting? Would you up and quit? Throw in the towel? 

It’s okay to run out of energy sometimes; we all do. Accept it when it comes, and decide now to REST instead of quit.

2. Actively watch what you bring into your home. 

While you rest, be sure to actively watch your consumption so that old habits don’t land you back at square one. Being vigilant about what comes into your home is how you make real strides, because in the end, it’s as much about what comes in as what goes out. 

3. Celebrate all of your progress so far!

When I’d been married for about eight years—at about the time when an anniversary starts to feel like just another anniversary—a wise friend gave me the advice to celebrate every year. “You work hard for every year of your relationship. That hard work deserves to be celebrated.” 

I think the same applies to our decluttering efforts. Don’t gloss over your small successes. Instead, mark them—celebrate them. Focus on how good it feels to live with less stuff, whether it’s as small as a pared-down spice cabinet or as big as an entire garage. Sink into that feeling of lightness and when you’re ready, use it to propel you forward. 

4. Come back to your why. 

Why are you decluttering? Dig for your deepest answers—the answers that go beyond “Because my spouse wants me to” or “Because I think I should.” 

Maybe it’s because you’re tired of spending so much precious time taking care of the things you own. Cleaning them, repairing them, moving them from room to room. Or maybe you’ve been feeling weighed down for several years now and you desperately want the feeling of emotional lightness that comes with clearing out the extras. 

Whatever your why is, return to it. Journal about it, share it with a friend or family member, post about it on Instagram if that’s where you document your life. Bring it back to the front of your mind. 

Need help determining your decluttering WHY? Use my free worksheet, Digging Deep.

5. When you resume, be content with baby steps. 

Almost daily I hear from people who express something very similar to what Amanda said above. It’s the clutter-anxiety that gets us. 

If you pick your head up and look at how much stuff is around you, it’s so easy for that anxiety and a sense of hopelessness to creep in. 

So friend, keep your head down. Believe that baby steps are enough. In fact, it’s baby steps—one after another—that will eventually get you where you want to be. But for now, declutter one corner at a time, celebrating every small win along the way. 

When You’re Ready Again

A few days ago, I made eye contact (so to speak ;)) with that box in my room, and I knew I was ready to tackle it. 

I opened it, pulled out a photo album, and started flipping through. To my surprise, I found that the album was only partially filled. I pulled out another album—and found the same thing.

Altogether, the six nearly-empty albums took me about twenty minutes to go through. 

I was glad, as I carried the box downstairs, that I hadn’t wasted months or even years feeling overwhelmed by this particular box, which, as it turns out, took me so little time to sort through. 

Sometimes a break (and under-active imagination) is exactly what we need.  

This article by Erica originally appeared on becomingminimalist.com.

Episode 32 of “Life On Purpose with Erica Layne”

Listen to the full podcast episode in your favorite podcast app or in the audio player below!

Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify | Overcast | Stitcher | Amazon

Show produced by Callie Wright

The post 5 Concrete Steps to Take When You Hit a Decluttering Slump appeared first on The Life On Purpose Movement.

^{If I could tell you one thing today, it would be this: You don’t have to be anything more than you already are in order to be enough.}

The first time I remember really battling feelings of inadequacy was when I became a wife and mom.

I had insecurities like anybody else, but overall, I was a reasonably self-assured teen and young adult. Outside of my parents, I didn’t have anyone to be “enough” FOR. 

But once I had my own family, I found myself needing to be enough FOR THEM. 

I’d hold my baby’s head in the palms of my hands, his body not even the length of my lap, and think—What if I’m not enough for him?

What if I can’t raise him the way I want to? 

What if I yell? What if I can’t help him with his math past the fourth grade? (Spoiler alert, that was totally the case.) 

What if he leaves our home with emotional baggage because of the way I parented him?

It was scary to have someone to be enough for. 

The Pressure of Striving for Perfection

It was the most real pressure I’d ever felt—far more real than the pressure of a state tennis tournament, a final exam that my grade for the semester depended on, or the money I needed in order to pay rent. Those suddenly seemed like nothing compared to the pressure of raising a human. 

The Hamster Wheel of High Performance

So I did what I’d always done: I focused on performance. 

I read the parenting books, had deep conversations with my husband about how we wanted to raise our kids, and I got to WORK. 

When I couldn’t breastfeed like I’d hoped, I pumped around the clock for as many months as I could. When I broke my knee cap clean in two while carrying a baby in my belly and a toddler on my hip, I didn’t even see a doctor, because I told myself I’d be fine and reminded myself I had more important work to do.

I bought the art supplies and made the toddler crafts. I took the kids to library story time, did the Mommy & Me swimming lessons, and hid vegetables inside their food.

I turned motherhood into a SPORT. An activity I could be graded on. (And I dang well better be getting an A!)

What If We Trade “Perfect” for Real

But after a few years of this, I found myself (unsurprisingly) exhausted.

I started to doubt whether my performance-focused motherhood was really giving my kids what I wanted to give them most of all.

If I asked myself what I really wanted to give them, it wasn’t stellar eating habits or a deep and abiding love of books (as great as those things are).

If I could give my kids one thing, it would be the peace of knowing that they are enough—no matter what.

So maybe, just maybe, instead of hustling and pushing and wearing myself out trying to be the perfect mom, I should just REST in my imperfection and begin modeling a more wholehearted, self-accepting approach to life.

Maybe this, in the end, would be a million times better for my kids—and for me—than high performance ever was.

Parenthood, though, is by no means the only place where we experience the fear of not being enough. I feel it creeping into my thoughts in so many different areas, and I know from talking to hundreds of you that I’m not alone in this.

So if I could grab you by the shoulders today and tell you one thing, it would be the same thing I’d tell any of my kids: You don’t have to do or be anything more than you already are in order to be enough.

I hope the following list helps this sink in even deeper.

37 Things You Don’t Have to Do or Be in Order to Be ENOUGH

1. You don’t have to fit into a certain pant size. 
2. You don’t have to look younger than your age.
3. You don’t have to live in an Instagram-worthy home. 
4. You don’t have to be a perfect parent. 
5. You don’t have to have perfect kids.
6. You don’t have to want more children (or have children at all).
7. You don’t have to have marriage figured out.
8. You don’t have to eat a certain way.
9. You don’t have to exercise a certain amount.
10. You don’t have to work outside the home.
11. You don’t have to stay home with your kids.
12. You don’t have to feel fulfilled by motherhood alone.
13. You don’t have to achieve a certain job title.
14. You don’t have to hit a particular tax bracket.
15. You don’t have to reach a predetermined level of “influence” online.
16. You don’t have to be the most productive person you know. 
17. You don’t have to have healed your childhood wounds.
18. You don’t have to move through grief on anyone else’s timeline.
19. You don’t have to have turbulence-free mental health. 
20. You don’t have to have “balance” figured out.
21. You don’t have to have a 10-year plan.
22. You don’t have to be a natural optimist.
23. You don’t have to make friends easily.
24. You don’t have to fit in.
25. You don’t have to be brave all the time.
26. You don’t have to stay close to people who have hurt you.
27. You don’t have to enjoy time with people more than you enjoy time on your own.
28. You don’t have to enjoy time on your own more than you enjoy time with people.
29. You don’t have to stay as you’ve always been because it’s more comfortable for someone else.
30. You don’t have to know your life’s purpose—or even your purpose in this season.
31. You don’t have to have overcome your emotional buffers (eating, Netflix-binging, shopping, etc.)
32. You don’t have to be so evolved that you no longer compare yourself to others.
33. You don’t have to be invulnerable to what other people think.
34. You don’t have to be free of self-doubt.
35. You don’t have to feel things less deeply than you do.
36. You don’t have to handle change well.
37. You don’t have to always put everyone else first.

All the world needs of you is for you to be yourself.

xo,

More from Episode 31 of “Life On Purpose with Erica Layne”

Here’s what else you can hear in the latest episode of the podcast!

• Try-On Session: A segment where I propose a new thought you can try on for size. Today I’m sharing a much-needed message from Untamed by Glennon Doyle, The Memo That All Moms and Dads Should Receive. I hope it helps parenthood feel lighter for you.
• Self-Care Spotlight: Today, my very favorite self-care product—the Mindful Mineral Soak—a full-spectrum CBD product that smells amazing! Use code LIFEONPURPOSE for 15% off your first purchase (and to have the best bath of your life!).

Listen to the full podcast episode in your favorite podcast app or in the audio player below!

Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify | Overcast | Stitcher | Amazon

Show produced by Callie Wright

A Tool for Embracing Your Enough-ness

My free worksheet, 21 Questions to Discover Your Purpose, will help you better understand yourself, your purpose, and your… enough-ness. (It helped me understand mine!) Grab it below!

The post 37 Things You Don’t Have to Do or Be—To Be ENOUGH appeared first on The Life On Purpose Movement.

^{Are you unconsciously comparing your home to immaculate, styled homes you see on Pinterest? What if instead of criticizing your home for everything it’s not, you thanked it for everything it is?}

If you’re like me, much of the time when you walk through your house, this is what you see: 

Dirty socks that your kids just CANNOT seem to put in the hamper.

Pet hair on way too many surfaces. 

That crooked picture frame hanging on the wall—the one you’ve passed a hundred times but somehow haven’t straightened.

You see the kitchen sink that doesn’t have a disposal, the trail of ants coming from a crack in the wall, and the electrical cords dangling from the TV.

Then what we do is mentally compare those images to all of the immaculate, professionally styled homes we see on Instagram and Pinterest. 

And suddenly, it seems like everything about your home is WRONG. 

I’m here today to beg you—quit buying into that story! 

Your Home Is Beautiful for More Than How It Looks

Just like you, your home is beautiful for more than how it looks. 

It’s beautiful for how it keeps you and your loved ones safe. It’s beautiful for how it supports you in pursuing your dreams and using your gifts. 

It’s beautiful just the way it is. 

OF COURSE, we can do the work to improve our homes. I’m all about helping you get rid of the excess and create simple systems that serve you. (In fact, check out 21 Quick Wins to Simplify Your Home Life for exactly that!)

We can straighten that dang picture frame, declutter the closets, and attack the stacks of paper that always accumulate on the kitchen counter. (Always! )

But action will only ever take us part of the way. Mindset—perspective—takes us the rest.

What You’ll Really Remember About Your Home

Early in my marriage, we lived for seven years in an apartment building set in the hills overlooking the San Francisco Bay. While the setting was gorgeous, the apartment itself was… not. 

Built in the 1970s and only very minimally updated, the apartment featured yellow countertops, mauve carpet, and lots of dark oak veneer. 

Because I was raising little kids and working as the resident manager for the building, I spent almost all of my time right there in that apartment, which gave me plenty of hours to think about what I’d change if I could. 

I remember daydreaming about painting over the dark oak and taking a demolition hammer to the yellow counters and dingy cabinets. 

But now, years later, I barely ever think about what that apartment looked like. 

What I remember is how we had two little boys sharing a bedroom and one baby girl sleeping every night in a mini-crib in the bathroom. Because her sleeping quarters were so tiny, when she learned to stand up in her crib, she could reach the bathroom light switch. So I’d wake up in the morning not to her babbling in her crib but to her flicking the bathroom light on and off, on and off. 

When I think of that apartment, I remember toddler boys wearing nothing but their undies while they helped their dad fix things with power tools. 

Looking back, I think about who I became throughout those years in that apartment—far more than I think about how that apartment looked. 

I wish I could go back to that version of me and tell her to relax a little about how her place looked. I wish I could tell her how little it would matter in just a few years. 

Obviously, I can’t do that. But I can try to remind myself now to embrace where I’m at. To embrace the home I’m in. 

You won’t remember the quality of your home as much as you’ll remember the quality of the memories you made there.

Embrace the House You’re In

So even if you did NOTHING to improve your home, could you nurture some positive thoughts about the roof that keeps you and your family safe every night?

What if instead of criticizing your home for everything it’s not, you thanked it for everything it is? 

9 Things to Love About Your Lived-In, Imperfect Home

1. It provides shelter and safety.

That seems so simple, so obvious, but when you think about the thousands of people around the world who don’t currently have one consistent place of shelter, it’s suddenly an incredible gift. 

2. It offers temperature control!

It’s been a long, hot summer here in southern Utah, and I don’t think I’ve been this grateful for AC since my childhood summers in Phoenix! Not too hot and not too cold is such a blessing.

3. It has a story—a heritage.

Who did it belong to before you? And before that? Did someone get a break on its rental rate right when they desperately needed it? How did YOU find your current home? Did you feel “led” to it in any way? Your home’s story becomes a part of your story.

4. It’s the backdrop for hundreds of memories.

When my husband mentions something from his childhood, I’ll ask, “Was that the house where your brother lost his finger?” It wasn’t even my house, and I still associate specific memories with that specific home. 

You can’t put a value on the number of memories—and the amount of growth—a home contains. 

5. It supports you in pursuing your dreams and using your gifts.

Think about all the times you’ve sat in your room and journaled about your dreams. Picture the spaces in your home—whether it’s the kitchen, your desk, a reading corner, or a craft room—that have supported you in pursuing your gifts. 

6. It has windows and doors that let in light and air.

No matter how small, old, or cluttered your home is, if you can open doors and windows to generate a cross breeze—and if you can watch the light change throughout the year—you’ve got something special going for you. 

7. It has dozens of quirks that only you know about.

Like how every morning you hear the upstairs floors creak a bit when your people begin to stir. Or the loose stone that lets you know your partner is home from work. 

8. It provides you with a peaceful outdoor space, no matter how small.

Whether it’s a yard, patio, or even your front step, your home offers you a place where you can put your feet on the earth or feel the breeze on your face.

9. It reminds you that life doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.

Home are the perfect metaphor for life. They teach us that life doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful. They remind us that beauty is more than surface deep. They remind us that no matter how tumultuous the world gets, you can always have a place of refuge inside yourself.

—

Who knows… Maybe changing the way we *think* about our homes could be just as powerful as changing our homes themselves.

xo!

More from Episode 30 of “Life On Purpose with Erica Layne”

Here’s what else you can hear in the latest episode of the podcast!

• Self-Care Spotlight: A segment where I remind you not to neglect the person you spend all of your time with—you! Today is a reminder that part of caring for yourself is remembering and reconnecting with the child inside of you.
• Decluttering Tip: Let’s define the three main types of clutter—physical, mental, and emotional—and identify which one is your biggest hangup.
• Clutter Quiz: Take my new quiz to find out which kind of clutter is tripping you up AND what you can do to get free!

Listen to the full podcast episode in your favorite podcast app or in the audio player below!

Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify | Overcast | Stitcher | Amazon

Show produced by Callie Wright

What’s one thing—big or small—that you love about your lived-in, imperfect home?

The post 9 Things to Love About Your Lived-In, Imperfect Home appeared first on The Life On Purpose Movement.