It’s the end of the week, and my brain feels a bit foggy. Motherhood will do that to you. My friends and I often joke about how we feel like we no longer know how to use big words and or sustain a fluid conversation. Something to do with spending 12 hours a day talking to toddlers . . . So for today, this is the best I can pull together!

• At the end of each day, my body feels like it ran a marathon. (Yours too?) It’s just too bad that feeling doesn’t come with all those calories burned. 

• My younger son, Chase, is the messiest eater ever. He’s cute, but it drives me crazy!

• His older brother is generally pretty neat and usually manages to look fairly put together. But no matter what I do, Chase usually looks a little off kilter. Food in his hair, food on his face, a pocket turned inside out and blowing in the wind. It’s always something! Maybe I’m the only one who really notices, because I’m his mom. A girl can hope!

• Having a baby brings out the sleep monster in this mama! Quinn sleeps in our room (technically our bathroom, but it’s all connected), so I’m hypersensitive to noise for fear of waking her up. If I’m already asleep when Ryan comes to bed, I’m often rude because I am (apparently) convinced he is the loudest person ever. However, in the morning, I’m my normal self again, and I can barely remember what I said the night before. Poor guy!

• I’m looking forward to getting my hair done this weekend and going on a family outing to Costco! Funny how life has changed . . . :)

Thank you SO much for visiting this week, and enjoy your weekend!!

The post Random appeared first on Let Why Lead.

I often wish I had never read a single book about babies. Babywise. Happy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. The Happiest Baby on the Block. Secrets of The Baby Whisperer. I’ve read them all.

I suppose that if pressed, I wouldn’t trade the information I’ve gained from them, but with it comes an undeniable hazard: that naggling little voice in your head that reminds you every time you’re doing something “wrong.”

I have to shut down that annoying little voice all the time, assuring myself instead that after three babies, I know what works for me. Before Baby #1 came along, if I had only read the following tips, I would have been just fine. And that nagging little voice might never have entered my head.

1. Treat the first three months like the fourth trimester, an extension of the womb.  Swaddle, shush, use white noise and rhythmic taps.

2. From day one, focus on full feedings. This will mean a happier baby and a less exhausted mommy, because Baby will be able to go a bit longer between feedings. Poke those cute cheeks, burp him in the middle of a feeding—whatever it takes to keep your baby awake until he’s full!

3. That said, don’t worry about routines or “rules” for at least six weeks. During that time, just watch for patterns, and experiment with getting Baby down for a nap without feeding. But no pressure! Babies are very erratic before about six to eight weeks, and that’s okay!

4. After about six weeks, begin to establish a loose 2 1/2- to 3-hour routine. Start each day at about the same time, to help establish some consistency. (Wake baby up when needed.) After that, your day will consist of many roughly 3-hour increments of feed-time, wake-time, and sleep-time. (Sometimes they’ll be shorter, sometimes longer—not a huge deal!)

5. Begin soothing your baby to sleep within two hours of when you first started the feeding. At six weeks, babies are only able to be awake for about an hour altogether (including the feeding), but the time will gradually increase. Newborns also don’t give tired cues very well (other than fussing), so just keep an eye on the clock and experiment, noting at what point they seem to fall asleep easiest. As babies get older it’ll become easier to see yawns and eye rubbing, which signal sleepiness. Get her down even before she seems tired, and it will be much easier! (Overtired babies fight sleep like crazy!)

6. When at first your baby resists going down without eating, don’t sweat it. Sometimes it’ll work; other times it won’t. He’ll get the hang of it with practice! To teach my babies to soothe themselves to sleep, I always swaddle, set in the crib, and let them fuss / cry for a couple of minutes. Then I go back in, stick in the pacifier, shush and pat—all while Baby is still in the crib. I repeat as needed until Baby is asleep. (I do take them out of the crib and rock / bounce if the pacifier and shushing just isn’t cutting it! And if they’re still fighting it, I feed them!) But with enough patience and practice, all I have to do is swaddle, stick in the pacifier, pat a few times, and they’re off to dreamland! (Quinn and I are not to that point yet, just FYI!)

After all of that, I have to tell you that the biggest lesson I’ve learned is one I don’t remember ever reading in a book. It is to trust your intuition and to enjoy seeing it develop. You will become an expert on your baby. No one will know her like you will, which means you can blithely ignore all the well-intended advice that you know won’t work for you and your child. :) Including the tips I just shared! What works for me may not be your style, but you’ll find it, and once you do, be confident in yourself.

I remember my sister telling me when I was expecting my first baby that she couldn’t wait for me to experience the natural growth into motherhood—the slow and quiet appearance of an instinct you didn’t know you had, the confidence that comes from learning to fulfill your child’s needs. A mother is born when a baby is, and we are shaped as our babies grow.

(Take that! Nagging Little Voice.)

For the moms out there, if you made a list of everything you needed to know to soothe a baby, would it look like mine or be totally different?

Welcome! If you like being a mom, making a home, and living with purpose, you’ll fit right in! Like Let Why Lead on facebook, follow along in a reader, or come see me on pinterest. Grateful you’re here! {Erica}

Linked up with Grace at Home and Preparing for a Little One. 

The post All You Ever Needed to Know About Soothing a Baby appeared first on Let Why Lead.

A few nights ago, I came full circle.

You see, for months, while I anticipated the arrival of our baby, I sang to her in the shower. I did this while I was expecting all three of my babies, actually. To me it was a way for the baby to get to know my voice—and for me to feel closer to that new little spirit. After chaotic days of answering my older children’s every need, at night, when I was finally alone and the house finally quiet, I could sing.

A few nights ago, my baby girl heard me sing in the shower again. Only this time, she lay in an infant seat on top of the bathmat. Her tiny legs kicked like usual, but now, she wasn’t inside of me. I managed to get through “All I Ask of You” and half of “Defying Gravity” (you’re welcome to make fun of me!) before she needed me, but as I blew my hair dry a few minutes later, I was warm with the thought that Quinn and I had come full circle.

I hope you’re watching for the full circles in your life, too. Have a wonderful week, everyone!

The post Full Circle appeared first on Let Why Lead.

I was nursing at a park the other day when my friend who also has a newborn came and sat beside me. She joked right away about how she doesn’t particularly like nursing, and I burst into a smile! In my experience, it’s not often that women voice that admission.

I’m in the same camp as my friend. Of course I cherish the closeness I’ve shared with my children through nursing them. If you have nursed a baby, you know about those moments when the house is still and your baby wraps her tiny fingers around one of yours while she nurses. The rest of the world looses focus, and it is just you and your baby. Those plump cheeks and fine hair, those long fingernails and miniature toes. It is beautiful.

But the reality is that there are a lot of other moments too. Like when you are so sore you’re not sure you will get through the next nursing session. Or when your toddlers are running wild around you and there is not a thing you can do, because you’re nursing. Again.

I know I don’t need to sing the benefits of breastfeeding to you. I agree with them! Regardless, nursing doesn’t come naturally to all of us, and all we can offer is our best. We can’t measure our success as mothers by our level of success with breastfeeding—or by how much we enjoyed it. Not liking every minute does not make you less; it makes you human.

1. You wonder constantly if you’re doing it right. Is the baby latching properly? Is she getting enough milk? Are you feeding often enough? Should you do both breasts each session or drain one per session?? The insecurity!
2. You are not a fan of sore nipples, engorgement, leaking, or that nasty yeast infection. (Who is?)
3. You’ve discovered you have a new full-time job: breastfeeding. You clock so many hours sitting on your tush that you begin to notice that your sofa sinks deeper in that spot where you always sit for nursing sessions. 
4. You cannot figure out how to keep your older children entertained while you nurse around the clock. You feel guilty about how much TV they’re watching for that reason . . .
5. You don’t like feeling like you’re being chewed on all the time. (Again, who would?!)
6. You feel tied down, committed to the clock. Especially if your baby won’t take a bottle, you can’t be away from him for more than a few hours.
7. You are more comfortable nursing at home than in public, which ties you not only to the clock but to the house.
8. You feel like no matter how you position that baby, you cannot fully straighten your back. The backache wears you down!
9. You wish to high heaven that you could let that baby sleep! But to ensure good supply and proper weight gain, your pediatrician has encouraged you to wake him up every three or four hours.
10. At risk of sounding crude, pumping makes you feel like a milkcow. (Right?!) And if you have other children or need to pump at work, it can be hard to find a private space and a quiet minute for it.
11. You’re drowning in all the water you drink to maintain supply, and you are hungry all the time!
12. You miss your old bras. Finding a good nursing bra is as hard as finding that long-lost sippy cup somewhere in your house. Maybe harder.

If you haven’t yet nursed a child and I just struck fear into your heart, please know that many of these complaints dissipate after the first month or two. As your baby grows and drops a feeding here and there, I would bet you’ll find yourself enjoying it more. You’ll establish a rhythm that you’re comfortable with, and those beautiful moments where you connect with your baby will start to stand taller in your memory. I love those moments. I’m nostalgic for them. I wish I had taken pictures of me nursing each of my babies, especially because for us, it never lasted more than a handful of months. But I’m also perfectly comfortable saying that it was a challenge for me.

I don’t intend for this to be a discussion of how much you should sacrifice to make nursing work for you or how long you should keep it up. I simply hope for this post to be a place where women can find common ground, even if it is as simple as a distaste for nursing bras. :)

What was your experience? Did the challenges of nursing surprise you? Did I miss any complaints? 

Welcome! If you like being a mom, making a home, and living with purpose, you’ll fit right in! Like Let Why Lead on facebook for (non-obtrusive) updates, follow along in a reader, or come see me on pinterest. Grateful you’re here!

Linked up with Wifessionals’ Preparing for a Little One party. Welcome to any linkup visitors! Please leave a comment so I can come read about your experience! 

The post 12 Reasons It’s Okay to Not Love Breastfeeding appeared first on Let Why Lead.

I had so much fun hosting the giveaway! I can’t thank you enough for participating—and for the unexpected but much appreciated kind words and encouragement! Our winner (randomly generated, I swear!) happens to be the only male who entered! Congrats to Lukas Hagman! I hope your mom enjoys the earrings! Now on to our regularly scheduled programming. :)

If I could sit next to you and listen to the play-by-play of your typical day, I totally would. I mean it. As monotonous as they can feel, the activities that fill our days say so much about the stage of life we’re in and how well we’re rising to it. A typical day around here looks something like this . . .

Wake up to feed the little lady.
Wait for the boys’ alarm clock to sound, letting them out of their room at 7:20.
Feed the others. Lately Chase likes to pull his chair as close as possible to Trenton’s.
Get all four of us dressed. Read some blogs and clean up breakfast while the boys watch a PBS show.
Get the boys to do their chores. Trenton unloads the silverware; Chase wipes the table down.
Load everyone into the van to take T to preschool. Admire the spring wisteria lining our parking lot.
At best, the above picture is how Quinn feels about the carseat.

Chat with girlfriends at preschool pickup. Drive home.
Discover a snail outside our patio!
Have lunch and clean up.
Have quiet time. The boys take turns watching each other play on the ipad in their room.
(They do the more educational games on weekdays and just-plain-fun games on weekends.)
During my one hour off, I take care of Quinn, work on my blog, or attempt a quick power nap.
After quiet time, we play on the patio and in their room.
This day, they played bball with balloons . . .
And made a house of leaves for Stanley the Snail, who migrated to our patio.
We also silenced a fire alarm for someone who had burned toast.
(I’m an apartment manager in my “spare” time. :)

Play more in their room. Watch another PBS show or two. Afternoons are long.
Make dinner, and eat around 5:30, almost always before Daddy gets home.
Eat homemade granola bars for dessert.
Bathe the boys (which does not happen daily!), then watch them squeeze into a laundry hamper. :)
Shoo the crazy boys to bed, er, lovingly tuck them in. (Depends on the day.)
Hang out with cute Quinn and wait for Ryan to get home from work, usually between 7 and 8.
Convince Quinn to go to sleep, between 7:30 and 9:30. (It still varies a lot because she’s little!)
Go to bed shortly after!

Whether in a journal or your own blog, I hope you record your own typical day!

The post A Day in the Life appeared first on Let Why Lead.

First of all, THANK YOU to everyone who contributed to our discussion last week about letting boys be boys while also teaching appropriateness in play. I knew it already, but you are an amazing group of women!

Next, I’m excited to be hosting my first giveaway! I’ve been wanting to say thank you to you all for reading Let Why Lead, so when Blue Nile showed me the earrings they wanted to send me, I thought they were so pretty that I offered to buy another pair to give away to a reader. But Blue Nile replied right away, saying they were happy to send along a second pair, for one of you!

The earrings are delicate and lightweight, and they pick up light beautifully. Even my husband noticed them on the way to church and commented on how sparkly they were. That’s saying something! They’re easy to dress up or down. Short story, I love them. :) So . . .

Leave a comment by Wednesday at noon (PST) to be entered, and I’ll randomly choose a winner and announce it Wednesday. I’ll get your earrings off in the mail as quickly as possible, so hopefully you’ll get them in time for Mother’s Day! Best of all, you and I will have matching earrings! So exciting! Maybe we can even coordinate a day to both wear them! Matchy-matchy!

• For an extra entry, like Let Why Lead on facebook!
• And since I know being matchy-matchy with me is now all you can think about, if you share this post on some form of social media, I’ll enter you in the drawing an additional time. :)

If you don’t win, Blue Nile is also offering a 10% off coupon code: MOMGIFT13.

Don’t forget to leave a comment! Thank you for coming here, and have a fantastic week!

The post Mother’s Day Giveaway! appeared first on Let Why Lead.

I’m excited to be linking up with CoffeeDate, where you video yourself talking about what’s on your mind, as if you’re on a coffee date with a friend. So if you have one minute and fifteen seconds to laugh at my weird mannerisms on video, press play!

My boys are naturally drawn to shows of strength. They want to be the biggest-fastest-strongest, so it’s no surprise that they are intrigued by things that demonstrate those qualities, like combat helicopters and superheros. :) But shows of strength often border on violent, and I want to preserve my boys’ innocence—while at the same time allowing them to “be normal” and to experience boyhood to the fullest.

So my question is—How do you let boys be boys while also teaching them what is appropriate in play?

Whether you have boys or girls or no kids at all, please share your opinions! I’ll post a follow-up soon about what we do and what we want to start doing, based on your ideas. If you know anyone who this post applies well to, please point them here, because my vision is for this discussion to become a useful resource for as many moms as possible. Who knows if this vision will be fulfilled, but I’m counting on y’all to help a girl out!

First, to get you thinking . . .

• Have you banned any words at home? If so, what ones? (kill, shoot, poop, etc.)
• Do you discourage any pretend games, like using weapons?
• How do you handle media, from shows (like Batman and Autobots) to video games?
• How else do you teach or model appropriate play?

Ready, go!

Linked up with Grace at Home, Thriving Thursdays, and CoffeeDate.

The post Let’s Brainstorm! How to Teach Boys Appropriate Play appeared first on Let Why Lead.