Life and Lore of Lobo

This Boisterous World, My Oyster

2012-01-09T12:07:00.000-05:00

So I graduated December 2011, big whoop(s). Here's to a joyous, jammin' New Year, what say you lovely people?

Now all that remains is for me to receive my work authorization from the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS), and - oh, wait for it - GETTING A JOB.

For the uninitiated (which is pretty much everyone who isn't an international student), here's the deal:

The visa status for an international student in the U.S.A. is designated F-1 (scholar).
F-1 visa holders are not eligible to be employed off-campus AT ALL, except under extenuating circumstances. (An obvious exception to this 'employment' rule is simple stuff such as baby sitting, or yard work, or something of that nature, which can't be regulated. Or being illegally employed somewhere for cash only. But, there marks a difference between 'legal' and 'illegal' under-the-table employment. If that makes sense.)
There was something I could have tried before I graduated, called "Curricular Practical Training" (CPT). It's too late for that, so I'm not going to talk about it. But feel free to read the link.
Of particular importance, now that I have graduated, is what is called "Optional Practical Training" (OPT), of which there are two types - regular and "STEM".

- From the international student website: "Regular OPT is temporary employment authorized by Immigration for F-1 visa holders for 12 months. It must be directly related to your major and gives you a chance to put your classroom knowledge into real world practice." F-1 students can apply for this up to 14 weeks before their graduation date, or, if unsure about graduation, up to 4 weeks after.

- STEM OPT is an extension to the regular OPT period, which applies solely to students with majors in Science, Technology, Engineering, or Mathematics. From the website: "STEM refers to majors in Sciences, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics. It allows a student who majored in one of those areas to obtain a STEM OPT extension of an additional 17 months, bringing the total OPT time to 29 months." However, for STEM OPT to apply, the employer MUST be E-Verified.

So, the translation: If I am able to obtain a job (which MUST be related to my major), I can be employed for up to a year from the start date I have requested. If this employer is E-Verified, I am eligible for the STEM OPT extension and can continue to work for an additional year and five months. If the employer is NOT E-Verified, I must find a new employer that is E-Verified in order to get the STEM extension.

Capische?

Now for the rest:
When applying for OPT, we are supposed to allow for up to 90 days of processing time by immigration. If I obtain a job and my requested start date passes, I am NOT ALLOWED to begin work unless and until I have the document from immigration in my hand.
During the regular OPT period of 12 months, I am allowed a cumulative total of 90 days during which I can be unemployed. If I am able to obtain a job and make it as far as getting STEM OPT, this cumulative 'unemployment clock' is extended 30 more days, for an absolute total of 120 days of unemployment during a 29-month period.
If the total limit of unemployed days is reached (90 days for regular OPT, and 120 for STEM), I have three options (and whichever I choose would have to be implemented before that limit is surpassed, or else I would be in violation of my visa status):
- Leave the country and continue my job search from my home country
- Return to school for a new degree program, and lose the OPT authorization (also, the new degree must be GREATER than the one previously achieved, so I'd be screwed if I was a PhD graduate).
- Obtain a new visa status. Any of you wonderful American females want to marry me?

Can't you tell that I just LOVE being an international student?

Fortune

2011-11-12T21:56:00.001-05:00

So, yeah, this has been an eventful series of weeks.

Things are back to normal, almost ... except that I'm not at the same level of loneliness that I used to be. I can certainly say that's an improvement.

I'm not an emotional person. Not usually, anyway. I've always prided myself on being rational and logical, and perhaps this was where I fell short - all those emotions, so long kept in check, eroding at my control and clouding my perceptions. (Not to mention that that made me seem indifferent to everything.) It's not something I was previously prepared for, and it's probably a good thing, in the long run, that we separated before anything untoward happened.

I feel a bit better about myself now, however - she gave me hope. A potion more potent, there is not.

She may or may not be the one for me (and vice versa), but someone will be. Someday.

Uncouth

2011-11-08T21:30:00.000-05:00

Time for some more words to be said. Ready? Here we go:

"Banana fish origami spork."

Okay, done. Wasn't that fun?

The fact of the matter is, not everyone knows the whole story - not even myself. And as much as I implore my peers not to jump to conclusions, it's not an easy task even for me.

As you judge my actions, opinions, and reactions, all I ask is that you realize how much stress I have been going through. I mean, do you know how it feels to be forced to find a job within three months of graduation or go home? Can you truly understand how it feels to have almost no truly close personal friendships for over 21 years? And don't tell me to talk to God, because I have. It may not seem that way on the surface, but being born and raised Catholic, being a musician, living in an environment that I think is far more enlightening than America, and learning some of the deepest concepts of science, gives me a connection to God that I fear I may never be able to share with anyone. Can you honestly tell me that I don't know what I'm talking about? Because I could say the very same to you.

Some clarifications, just because, like anyone, I hate being misinterpreted:

- It's easy to mean well, and not so easy to do well - both you, dear reader, and I have experienced this on some level at some point in our lives. But if we aren't rational about what we do, I can't say that our prospects for success are high. After obtaining multiple outside opinions on my post titled "Culture", I still fail to see how any privacy was lost or defamation incurred, because I was careful to keep it ambiguous. Using a single phrase from a conversation is NOT equivalent to a loss of confidentiality. An air of passive-aggressiveness would not be out of place in that post, and for that I apologize - but it would appear that rationality was lost on more than just myself.
In hindsight, I did appear to vilify my ex-girlfriend, which is not something I intended to imply. It was her idea to end the relationship, and I agreed - it was a mutual break-up. I'm fairly certain that if she hadn't done so, then I eventually would have. It was the wrong thing for both of us.

- While it may not be my place to criticize decisions by authoritative figures, it is entirely my place - in fact, it would be dutiful - to express discontent. I realize that I could have done so far more tactfully, and for that I am sorry. I know there must have been more in play and I wish I knew the whole story, but in the absence of better data my conclusions remain standing. It would also be prudent to note that my post titled "Life Is Short" was composed the day after I became single again, and I was far more emotional than I normally give myself license to be. I will not try to excuse what was said, but I stand by what I intended to mean.

The Flavour of Regret

2011-11-07T17:42:00.002-05:00

Going off of what I mentioned in my last post - text is an inconvenient medium.

BUT, it's all I really have at the moment while I figure stuff out. Sometimes I wish I had a best friend - you think you know what it's like without one, but believe me when I tell you that you really, really don't.

I am going to spell things out, at least for myself; make of it what you will.

I realize that my prior two blog posts came off much harsher than I intended them, and I apologize. I understand that more than one of my friends has read these and been offended, and I apologize.

I realize that I am at fault, and for that I am truly sorry.

This is not to say that I am solely culpable in particular matters, but in the interest of reconciliation I hope that will be acknowledged in the appropriate forum, and it's about time we searched out that forum.

All I can say in my defense is that I have been going through a lot lately that I have never had prior experience with, and neither did I ever expect to experience some of it in my lifetime. And I request - nay, I beseech - you, the reader, to truly understand that. I cannot make this clear enough.

I will not stand meekly by and simply be forced to acquiesce - I want to understand all viewpoints, and I want all viewpoints understood, before I choose to comply, for thus is true knowledge borne.

There is much more that needs to be said, and so will it be.

Culture

2011-11-06T10:54:00.003-05:00

So there was this girl, right? She liked me.

I liked her too, so we hung out.

Then we became close, and our friends were like, Whaaat?

And so we were, until we weren't.

Some friends were like, Whaaat? again, and some were Meh. and some were like, Yay!

Honestly, I don't get it. This pervasive belief that you can't maintain a friendship after a break-up. I suppose it could stem from the sound of that word. Break-up. Bleh. Breaking off pieces of yourself, is what it brings to mind if you let it simmer long enough. Why? I wasn't the one who ended it, and I told her from the beginning that if it didn't feel right then I was counting on her to tell me, because I had no prior experience to compare it with. I tried to understand her, and through her understand myself. It's all about me, after all, isn't it? Just like friends who care about one or both of us but don't realize how little they know of the whole story. It's all about them and that's how they define their friendships, somehow. I wish I knew how that worked.

I shared my heart with her, and she shared hers with me, and knowing I have absolutely no prior experience in such matters, she gave me patience, which I cannot appreciate enough.

But maybe I wasn't ready. Maybe she wasn't ready. That's no excuse to lose a friend - and no excuse for others to judge us by.

Even though it's essentially encoded in our brains to do so. Whether by genetics or environment, I don't care. We fight against our primal urges using the seeming excuse that a higher power sees all. But if fear of that higher power is all that stops someone from being a bad person then I don't know if I care for that someone, because I can safely say I am not afraid of God, and yet I still know how to be a good person. As far as I am aware, anyway. I could be wrong, though, so don't give up hope yet.

I don't even know where that came from. Divine inspiration, perhaps?

You really can't put as much emotion as you'd like into a message based in text, no matter how much you try. Someone is going to misunderstand, or misinterpret, or over-analyze, or something. As adept as I am at using it, the English language is really effing limited in its expressiveness.

I wonder how many girlfriends Jesus had growing up.

Life Is Short

2011-11-02T17:46:00.000-04:00

SO. MANY. CHANGES.

-First, the CCM lost a great music minister.

-Then, I have to prepare to graduate, and find a job, and a new place to live.

-Then (and I know quite a few people were proud of me for this), I found a wonderful girl who I could call my significant other, and was happy.

-And then, I'm alone again.

...........................

Lets step through this.

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The Catholic diocese in Richmond took the liberty this Fall semester 2011 to finally appoint a managing body for the Catholic Campus Ministry at ODU.

This is all well and good, except that they were also kind enough to (basically) boot out the existing music ministry led by my good friend Fred Johnson.

Honestly, what would you say if you'd been leading a music group for 16 years at your own behest - and you were good at it! - and the higher-ups were like, "Well that's cool, but we don't need you any more."? And then you were replaced with someone fresh out of college with no experience, who didn't even bother to talk to you and learn the best way to go about doing what you did?

I really couldn't care less about the management - but taking the music and downgrading it like that was - and is - something really hard for me to handle.

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I graduate this December 2011 with a Bachelor of Science in Electrical Engineering, minoring in Computer Engineering, Physics, and Music.

My lease ends at the end of November, which means that I will be without a home during exam week. Fun, eh? Let's see who I can bunk with for a bit.

I was contacted after a job fair and have a phone interview lined up - and that's about it as far as jobs go. I can't legally work at my current job once I graduate, because it's not "directly related to [my] major". I am allowed up to 90 days of unemployment once I graduate, and then ... I have no idea.

Let me just say that you probably have no idea how f***ing scared I am.

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It would be inaccurate to say 'I found her', because quite technically we kind of accidentally found each other thanks to my friend's computer (no, not a dating website. No, not a porn website either! For crying out loud, why on earth would you think like that?). Let's just say God works in mysterious ways, apparently, using broken computers and dorm roommates.

Lindsie is like and unlike me in so many ways, and someone I could truly connect with. I believe she confirmed, for me, an idea my friend postulated - namely, that I could only be truly happy with someone on an intellectual level similar to mine - and by God, she was close.

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Honestly, of all the times for me to meet my first girlfriend, now would be the worst, wouldn't it? About to graduate, no idea if I'd be in the same area, with the stresses of my final classes - and with her being an undergraduate researcher and studying full-time, every time we hung out it had the lingering feeling that it was detracting from our study time (and several times, that was in fact the case).

I'm certainly not better off now that we've parted ways ... but I'm still in a better position than before I met her, because now I know the joy that can be borne of a healthy emotional and intellectual relationship - and to think that I fully expected to go single for the rest of my life before I met her ...

One of the few things that might get me down about it, though, is that I can no longer joke about having never been in a relationship before.

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Soooo ... yeah, I'm a bit miffed - and, perhaps, overwhelmed - but I can't help but think I'm supposed to learn something from all of this. "Grow up", as Lindsie liked to say, is the rather obvious one, but I think "Persevere" is the lesson I'd like to take away from this. Kind of like Fred, who's started up his own choir group outside of the ODU campus to continue doing what he loves. I really want to join them, but first I have to make the new CCM music ministry the best that it can be before I leave. (And then I have to find a job. And a place to live. But let's not go there ...)

The End Of The World, As We (Don't) Know It. (Part 2-ish)

2011-08-17T08:26:00.002-04:00

I'm tolerant, I'll say that much.

Tolerant, but not of gender, or sexual orientation, or race, or religion, or anything superficial like that. These are aspects of our humanity, and I embrace them wholeheartedly.

Rather, I am tolerant of people.
Stupid people, to be more specific.

As my more comedic friends on Facebook are spreading it right now:

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Please put this on your status if you know or are related to someone who suffers from stupidity. People need to understand that stupidity is real and should be taken seriously. You could be sitting next to a stupid person right now. There is still no known cure for stupidity and sympathy does not help. Sometimes a 2x4 to the back of the head helps, but not a lot. But we can raise awareness!

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Stupidity. Ignorance. The hallmarks of our arrogance.

It's become my mission in life to know as much as I can, just for the sake of knowing ... and, methinks, the world would become a better place if more people shared that mission. (Think of a world as in Star Trek - the abolishment of money and therefore poverty and wealth and greed; the freedom and drive to work together to eradicate poverty and disease; the colonization of space, and true space travel. [The presence of extraterrestial life, I will leave open to speculation.]) Call me idealistic, but that is truly a dream I would rather not die for, but live to make true.

Sadly, a brain such as mine (or anyone's, really) was not built to store all the information we now have access to, and instead - my programmer friends will appreciate this - is filled with 'pointers' to where all the information is.

You'll find any number of scientific studies that prove this to be the case for most of the technologically-savvy world. Are we getting more stupid? I don't know, I'll Google it and get back to you ...

On a different and yet somehow related note, the survival of the species (our species, in case you were wondering) has been on my mind recently. To put it succinctly: our penchant for preserving life at all costs is having its consequences, as I mentioned in my last post. Not that I am against living longer, but still, living longer in a world that's going to shit (see: The Daily Show / Colbert Report) is not a particularly happy prospect. As good as people are getting at knocking themselves out of the gene pool (e.g. Jackass), it's not nearly good enough. Humans are still driven by genetically encoded tendencies, and since we've mostly overridden natural selection as it used to exist, we need to engage in a mission to purify the human genome™*. No, I don't mean eugenics ... well, yes, I do, but NOT in the way Hitler intended. Besides, Hitler simply thought too small - he wanted his one puny race to rule the Earth. I dream bigger by far - I want all of humanity to populate the entire Universe. And a step in that direction would be to, shall we say, prune our existing evolutionary tree of bad fruit. I mean, who needs the death penalty when we've got vasectomies?
Better yet, we need to encourage as many people as possible to compete for the Darwin Award.
__________________________
*What, you didn't know that most of your DNA - the fundamental building blocks of what makes you "you" - was patented? Better not try any DNA-based experiments, or they'll sue the RNA out of you.

The End Of The World, As We Know It. (Part 1)

2011-05-31T23:47:00.003-04:00

(Brace yourself; this may [or may not!] be a long one.)

The human race has scarred the Earth and changed the natural course of events, whatever that may have been. We came into existence as natural beings, in equilibrium with the planet and its denizens, and our so-called intelligence has upset that equilibrium (and, thus far, not in our favour).

A friend and I were having a discussion about the multitude of rather stupid people in the world, and I began to wonder why that might be, and what consequences might arise. This is what I came up with:

In the days before technology (and out in the natural world even today), those that were meant to die would die, and those that happened to live would live on until it was their time to die. The ones that lived longer had a greater chance of passing on their genes, and the fact that they survived to do so entailed the possibility that there was some quality about them (such as speed, agility, or the like) that happened to keep them alive - a quality which, ideally, would be passed on to the offspring (unless it was random chance, in which case, there would really be no difference). This cycle would repeat over all generations, leading to beings more suited to survive each generation.

This is the concept known as survival of the fittest, or natural selection - a primary tenet to evolution* - and it was in place in nature for a reason.

In this day and age, modern medicine has done wonders to keep us alive, at the cost of prolonging the life of those who would not otherwise have survived; hence, the habitual drunk driver who may be responsible for God-knows-how-many accidents, remains alive to pass on his genes to the next generation, perpetuating the tendency to drink and drive.

(This applies to any sort of trait or tendency that might be passed on genetically, such as mental or physical disorders.)

___________________

*To all Bible-pushing or otherwise mentally impaired fools out there: Evolution does not imply monkeys changing into humans; it describes adaptation to long-term changes in environment, often resulting in speciation. This usually results in increasing complexity over generations, but the opposite can also be true - it all depends on the environment. READ THIS LINK, and UNDERSTAND. I CANNOT over-emphasize the importance of understanding.

Another couple of side effects of the wonders of medicine are the rampant overpopulation that even now threatens our global economy and ecosystem, and the creation of deadly 'superbugs' such as MRSA. These, in conjunction with 'survival of the unfit' along with the fit and the fittest, will conspire to starve the human race through depletion of resources - assuming we don't blow ourselves up first - if we cannot find a way to (1) increase efficiency and cleanliness, or (2) leave the planet.

To be continued ...

Growing Up.

2011-03-16T01:18:00.000-04:00

Well, it's kind of obvious what this post is about, given that laudable event last week.

Similarly (and yet in a different way) in this video, the kid on the left also grew up. Note: he deserved it, no matter how you look at it.

I am only aware of about three people who read my blog of their own volition; thus it is safe to say that Jordann is unlikely to see this, and will remain blissfully unaware of her status as Girl #2. Since I brought up that topic, I figured I'd update it with the fact that Girl #3 has a boyfriend, whom she is deeply in love with, so not a chance there.

There is now, inexplicably, unbelievably, incredibly, a Girl #4. She plays the flute.

Again, as far as I know she is probably unaware that I even have a blog, so she can thankfully (hopefully too!) remain oblivious.

We're going to practice some duets together soon. Will I be able to either 1) remain calm and keep her unsuspecting? or 2) use it as an excuse to ask her out? Only time will tell ... although the history of the entirety of my previous encounters with girls is not in my favour.

Of course, in the event she reads this, she's going to know ... but hey, what have I to lose? Not to mention the insignificant odds of her reading my blog.

I almost feel like I've betrayed myself - looking at the contrast between the deep discussions I posted last year and how mundane and sappy my recent posts have been.

Still, my life isn't nearly as eventful as hers; perhaps I should be grateful for this? I don't know.

Stay tuned for a possible discourse on the end of the world as we know it.

XXI

2011-03-09T00:00:00.001-05:00

Year 21 of existence.

BOO-YAH! Lobo is legal!
Not that that means much for my non-drinking, non-smoking, non-driving ass ...

Take that, everyone who isn't 21 yet!
I'm catching up, everyone who's over 21 already!

Hugs all round. =)
I'd say hugs and kisses, but hopefully ... just maybe ... the kisses will come in handy later on.

.dessertS

2011-02-23T00:31:00.002-05:00

I have a feeling that the day my brain melts, it'll probably make for some spectacular YouTube fodder.

Perish the thought ...

2011-02-14T22:13:00.005-05:00

Well, it's week 6 of the first semester of my last year at university. Assuming all goes well, that is.

I've been in college since Fall 2006, and I transferred to ODU in Spring 2008 to pursue a Physics major, with a minor in Music Perfomance (viola, to be specific). That semester, I learned of a joint program with the Electrical Engineering department, which would offer me a dual degree in Physics and Electrical Engineering. My father being an electrical engineer, I sought his advice, and went with it.

It took me until Fall 2009 to realize that Physics was not entirely up my alley, no matter how much I wanted it to be. I dropped Physics to the status of second minor and went with just the EE degree. In Spring 2010, I realized that with just a couple more courses, I would gain the accomplishment of having a third minor - namely, Computer Engineering.

So now it's Spring 2011, I've taken those couple more courses that I need, and by the time I graduate I will have a B.S.E.E. and three minors (Computer Engineering, Physics, and Music Performance) to my credit. Deal with it, because I sometimes feel like I can't.

Again, assuming all goes well. Perish the thought ...

\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/

On a note related to the above in a way entirely dependent on how hard you can slap yourself, today is St. Valentine's Day. Not that I'm a particularly religious person, but I do kind of find it deplorable that a day dedicated to a holy person is so commercial. Thank God I can celebrate Christmas without ... well, Easter is always fun ... I can't wait for the St. Patrick's Day celebr ... never mind.

It's also comically known as Singles Awareness Day (the acronym of which, not to be depressing, spells out S.A.D., and it was funny when a friend of mine just discovered that).

I would love to say I'm not single for lack of trying, but sadly, it's too true that I have never really tried. And worse, it may very well be my fate, because I can't bring myself to try.

I once thought I would never get over her, but I was only partly wrong - at this point, I can, in fact, see myself without her, or with others I have met after her - but she will forever hold a piece of my heart. (She was never my girlfriend, FYI.) Yet, even though I know I can move on, how do I move on? I don't know what I would do if any of them were to say no; I have even less of an idea what I would do if any of them said yes!

Ah, the blessed curse of being intellectual ... my thoughts are far from bad company, but they can be my worst enemy on my bad days; my pillows are incredibly comfortable and always ready and waiting for me at home, but they don't hug back, and they don't generate their own warmth. You see what I'm getting at, surely. Just so you know, I'm not ashamed of being single, or depressed about it - but I'm not gay, either.

To all the wonderful women out there, especially you who lay such a bittersweet spell upon me:

-- Insert profound sentiments here --

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Hint: That line is a placeholder signifying my inability to express my true affections.

The Feeling.

2011-01-11T20:24:00.000-05:00

How does it feel ... to feel?

It's a curious feeling, if I do say so myself.

Happy New Year !

2011-01-01T08:51:00.000-05:00

To all my loyal readers (and fellow hominids / Earthicans / potential zombies):

Here's wishing you all a very joyous new year 2011! =)

Evolution of the Choice of Fate

2010-11-03T09:43:00.011-04:00

I don't think the post title has anything to do with what I'm about to ponder.
I just thought it sounded interesting.

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So far, it's been scientifically proven that people subconsciously seek out mates whose genes are as similar as possible to their own. This makes sense evolutionarily, in that dominant traits are reinforced, and recessive traits are further diluted.
(Not counting family members, of course ... but the fact that every single one of us is essentially distantly related is a topic worth waging war on. Both the Bible and science say that humanity is descended from [a] common ancestor[s]; however, proponents of the Bible seemingly can't stand the real world possibilities.)

My point being that every girl I've been attracted to thus far in my 20 years of life (at last count ... three) has been in some way similar to me/my family.

Girl #1:
- Intelligent
- Musical
- Rather modest, as I try to be
- Mildly religious, I think? I never got to know her as well as I should have.
- A little on the short side

Girl #2:
- Very intelligent
- Very musical
- Humble, as I also try to be
- Very religious
- A little on the short side

Girl #3:
- Very intelligent
- Very musical
- Random like me, I'd like to think. I don't know her as well as I'd like to either.
- Very religious
- A little on the short side

________________________
I don't know about you, but I'm seeing a pattern here.
(My dad's side of the family has a history of achievers and musicians.
My mom's side of the family isn't exactly vertically challenged, but they're far from tall.
Both sides of my family come from very devout Catholic backgrounds.)

There's also the fact that they're not exactly drop-dead gorgeous. (I myself certainly am far from being a stud.) I can safely say that I've seen people who are more beautiful at first sight.
But they grew on me as I spent time around them, and though they'll probably never know it, sometimes even the mere thought of any one of them can cause my heart to skip a beat. (This is of course dependent on my mood, but no matter what, thinking of them makes me feel a little bit happier.)

Anyway, story of my life, right here in this song.
__________________________________________
*UPDATE* To be honest, I blew my chance with girl #1 a long time ago. And girl #3 - I only met her a few times, and I talk to her online every now and then, and she has a boyfriend she adores, so there's not really much in my favor there. But girl #2 ... oh, girl #2.

The Fallacy of Faith

2010-10-30T19:11:00.002-04:00

It is a sad thing to say - but in its own way, faith promotes ignorance.

By definition, faith is belief without knowledge or question, and so many of the most 'faithful' people are also sadly the least knowledgeable.

I mean, don't get me wrong - I do enjoy going to church regularly and I sing in the choir. I believe wholeheartedly in God. Jesus Christ is a pretty awesome dude.

But really, is Jesus going to solve the world's problems? or are we, we who have the brains to do so, brains ostensibly given to us by God? Knowledge of the Bible has its uses, but not in any pure scientific sense.

Think about it: so-called knowledge of the Bible is one of the root causes of the Dark Ages, which set us back hundreds of years in scientific development. The Bible was used as justification for the Crusades, the Inquisition, slavery, and the oppression of women.

I've found that some people who know the Bible cover-to-cover are sometimes incapable of using plain (God-given) logic, and seem to only speak in Bible verses. (I'm sorry, did someone say "brainwashing"? Oh ... that was me? ... I'm sorry! Never mind then.)

All the faith in the world isn't going to do squat if you know nothing.

Think about it.

- Faith didn't put astronauts on the moon - scientists and engineers did. Faith doesn't power your car and fly our planes - physics does.

- Faith doesn't make your computer (or your refrigerator or microwave or anything in any modern construction or contraption) work - electricity does.

- Faith isn't going to save an ill or injured person - a doctor, however, stands a chance of doing so.

-Faith does nothing (yes, I said nothing) to assuage world hunger and/or poverty, or to secure world peace - visionaries, revolutionaries, and good people (of every religion!) work to do so.

A final, more engaging example, for posterity:

- Faith isn't going to do your work for you or make you pass any evaluations or examinations anywhere, anytime, or anyhow. Why? Because if you don't know anything worth applying, faith isn't worth a pair of dingo's kidneys*. Try passing your exam, driving your car, or saving impoverished children by spouting Bible verses, see if that works.

All of this, why? Because that's what I have come to see all around me. And I can't simply ignore it because while ignorance is, in many ways, bliss, it is in equally many ways foolhardy.

___________________

*Courtesy: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Book 1, Chapter 1, for the phrase "a pair of dingo's kidneys"

And now for the part where I seemingly contradict myself or appear to present a paradox for no reason whatsoever:

For all that, faith is in fact an integral part of the human psyche.

- The astronauts in the Space Shuttle had to have faith that the scientists and engineers had done their job right.

- You take it on faith that your car is built to specifications and performs as advertised without breaking down; you take it on faith that a plane doesn't break up in the air.

- You take it on faith that your computer will not fizzle out or melt down as you turn it on or plug it in.

- A patient in a hospital has faith that he is in the care of medical personnel who know what they are doing. (Every time you take a pill or a swig of medicine or an injection ... can you honestly say you know what is going to happen? Thanks to allergies/pre-existing conditions/etc., sometimes even doctors don't know. Think about that.)

- All the impoverished communities in the world can only have faith that they will find or receive aid or nutrition, because there is no way for them to know. The only people who know are the ones who supply it, and sadly supplies are far from unlimited.

- You can only know what you know ... but you can only take it on faith that the person(s) evaluating your work knows more than you do on that particular subject. For example, it is not unheard of for underhanded and/or undermanned higher-education centers to outsource the grading of graduation tests. Do you know that your final high-school exit exam wasn't graded by some homeless person off the streets? And if it was, do you know whether that person is uneducated? There are homeless people with PhDs all over the world!

My eventual point, if ever there was one, is this:

It is essentially willful ignorance to take everything you see, or hear about, on faith. You should only do so for things that are beyond your discernment - for example, you can only take it on faith that you won't be vaporized by a meteorite as you walk into a building. Do you know? If yes, it is safe to say you're flat-out lying.

I will not simply take it on faith that a car can 'automagically' drive; I know, beyond reasonable doubt, how cars work. I don't have to have faith that aeroplanes can fly; I know the physics of flight (however, again, I must take it on faith that the person in the pilot's chair knows what he/she is doing, and so on and so forth). I know the basics of how computers work, and I am actively learning more about them; therefore I need not even take faith in them, because what I don't already know about them I will learn.

Therefore, the idea I wish you, the reader, to learn from my thoughts is that you should only take faith in what you are incapable of understanding. You should be actively learning about all that you can, because all that you do not know will be explained to you; and your horizons of understanding will increase, allowing you to take in more knowledge, which gives you more understanding, leaving room for more knowledge ... and forever on. In this vein, even what you once thought incomprehensible would become a matter of learning.

Creationism, as a basic example of pure faith, is nothing but taking the words of people dead for a few thousand years and attempting to explain the whole observable Universe by those words, rather than using the brains given by God to understand and learn about said Universe.

Most scientific theories of creation essentially say exactly what creationism says - only in a realistic, scientific manner, and the fact that we have so many different theories is not proof of fallacy, but rather proof that science is willing to actively search out the true answers until the right one is found. Why do Creationists stick to pure faith? One of two possibilities: either they are incapable of understanding - or else they voluntarily choose not to seek out/accept the knowledge they know exists. Either way it's hard not to feel sorry for them.

I hope I have made a strong case for my ideas; here's a P.S., as it were:
The truth does not require belief. You could ignore every word I've just written, and it would make no difference to the world (or, indeed, the universe). You could choose to call gravity a lie; would still continue to function. You could censor every book on nuclear fusion in the world, and it would still be the source of energy in the Sun's core. You could burn every Bible in existence; and God would still continue to exist. You could call down curses upon every proponent of evolution before or since Darwin; it doesn't change the fact that we are highly-evolved primates.
You could call the Earth the center of the Universe; it will not change the fact that we are one planet out of nine (yes, I said nine!), orbiting a single star out of a hundred billion in our galaxy, which is one of thirty or so such galaxies in the Local Cluster, which is one of hundreds of clusters in the Virgo Supercluster, which is one supercluster out of millions in the observable Universe.
If that doesn't make you feel insignificant, nothing will.
-------------------------------------------------------

As I've heard it said: "If you ain't pissin' somebody off, you ain't doin' it right."

_____________________________________________

Gosh, it feels good to express myself. Don't you think so?

Yet Another Meaningless Mire of Musing

2010-10-21T01:04:00.000-04:00

I've often wondered how we all get along. Especially when you consider my previous post; we're just so divided it's a wonder the planet itself hasn't fractured into minuscule fragments already.

But enough of that.

Homework is nasty, I hate it.

My room is large and messy, and yet so vacant; all too often I get that empty feeling - the one where you know that no matter how hard you hug your pillow at night, it just isn't enough.

An ominous feeling of being crushed (metaphorically, of course) clouds the back of my mind every so often. Perhaps skydiving would be enough to scare all the fear right out of me ... but I have yet to conquer that stepping stone.

Homecoming Ball this Saturday, the 23rd. Two's company, eh?

Why Can't We All Just Get Along?

2010-10-03T09:16:00.005-04:00

Because we're stupid, that's why.

Embedded below you should see the Wikipedia page with the list of world religions.

Your browser does not support iframes.

You see that list and it comes as no surprise that no-one can get along.

I once heard it said that "There are six billion religions in the world." (That is, six thousand million.) Well, by the 2050s, there will be about ten thousand million religions in the world, and if "everyone else is going to hell but us" then the entire world is sure as hell to be going to hell.

That irks me, somehow.

A Hundred And One Thoughts (That Are Not My Own)

2010-08-29T19:50:00.001-04:00

Thank you Laysa. ^_^

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1. Sometimes opening up to someone you don't know very well is a good thing.

2. Instinctive feelings happen for reasonable reasons.

3. You can have fun with anyone. Don't limit who you can have fun with.

4. It is what you want it to be.

5. "A person's a person, no matter how small." [Dr. Seuss, Horton, Horton Hears a Who!]

6. Enjoy nature. Why not?

7. As trite as this sounds, you really should do what makes you happy. If you're not doing what makes you happy, what are you living for?

8. Adults are often just as silly as children.

9. Be open-minded. Everyone is different and everyone has good points and bad points. But there's always a lot more to a person than it seems.

10. "Never mistake thoughtlessness for malice." [Robert Charles Whitehead] There are people who do things intending to hurt you and there are people who do things and accidentally hurt you. It is one of the most important things to be able to tell the difference.

11. Dreaming is fun, even if it's about things that will never happen.

12. Complaining is a good thing because you need to let things out. But don't waste your life complaining about everything and everyone who has wronged you, because in the end, the only person who will have lost is you. Instead, go against the odds and better yourself. Win.

13. Getting presents for friends is fun, no matter how much money, time, and/or effort you end up spending on them. :)

14. Have pride in yourself - be proud of what you've done and who you've become. But that doesn't mean you're better than everyone else. They're people, too, and they probably have something to be proud of, too.

15. It's easier to be lazy than happy.

16. Laughter is one of the best medicines, because laughter is an example of happiness and fun.

17. When learning a new musical instrument and being asked to do something that doesn't seem humanly possible, you realize that it apparently is possible, with tons of practice, thus nullifying any thought you ever had about the limitations of the instrument or musician. In short, what you think is impossible probably isn't actually impossible. Humans can really do a lot of things if they try.

18. "I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later." [Mitch Hedberg] Sometimes that's just the best option.

19. The best thing about music is that you can listen to whatever you want, as much as you want, and for whatever reasons you want. There's really no right or wrong to it.

20. The appearance of confidence, happiness, or enjoyment is often just a guise. We feel as though, by hiding our hurt, we are hiding others from hurt as well. We see no use in showing it; in fact, we feel much better ignoring it. In the end we think, why should we worry other with our problems? What no one knows doesn't matter to anyone.

21. "Your life is what your thoughts make it." [Marcus Aurelius] Would this be what it is if you didn't think it was?

22. Time is often the best cure.

23. Being tickled is probably the only time when you're laughing but you actually want what's making you laugh to stop.

24. Your stomach doesn't have to be grumbling for you to be hungry.

25. Even the institutions you trust the most, or you expect to be the most trustworthy, don't do everything they should.

26. What you often complain about, you eventually get used to, so much that it doesn't even bother you anymore.

27. The past is always there to haunt you.

28. But suddenly, the past doesn't matter any more.

29. It's amazing how much your emotions can get you carried away. And you don't really realize how carried away you got until those emotions have settled down a bit.

30. Others' problems will often get in the way.

31. "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." [Aristotle]

32. It's possible to be an optimist and a realist.

33. I don't think procrastination is really that horrible. I usually have to really be in the mood to do work, and sometimes it takes that sort of adrenaline rush when you realize something is due soon to really do a good job on it. I bet a lot of great things have come out of procrastination.

34. If you constantly keep looking forward to something in the future, you'll be old before you know it, and you'll feel as though you've done nothing. Enjoy the moment. Make the most of every day. And have fun. Why not?

35. You don't have to be talking to someone to enjoy their company. Sometimes their presence is just enough.

36. Suck it up. You have to.

37. There are a lot of people out there who are probably better at doing something than the people who are "qualified" to do it.

38. Don't deny the fun you had with anyone, even if it's someone you don't care about anymore.

39. Giving a name to something helps a lot more than it may seem.

40. Awkwardness is all in your mind.

It's all in my mind.

41. Saying 'yes' to everything is not a good idea.

42. It's not until you break out of a routine that you are able to really look back on it and criticize it.

43. 'Love at first sight' doesn't really make sense.

44. 'Normal' is just the appearance we try to give.

45. It's really amazing how many people don't know what they should know in order to do their jobs.

46. The world gets smaller as you get older. I don't think that's a bad thing.

47. Happy people are nicer than unhappy people.

48. What do circumstances have to do with success? You don't need good circumstances to be successful. The ingredient for success is merely a determination to succeed.

49. There is always something more to learn.

50. It makes sense to strive to avoid the bad things. But they happen. You of course want to to look back on them and wish they didn't happen, but when looking back on those pains, think instead of what you have gained, not what you have lost, from them.

51. As much as I don't want to agree with it, I appreciate the fact that I have been told about some of the harsh realities of life.

52. We spend our lives preparing for the future, so that when it becomes the present, we can enjoy it. So don't forget to enjoy the present; isn't that what you've been working for?

53. We aren't always looking for advice. We just want someone to listen.

54. Money may not guarantee you happiness, but it's certainly nice to have around.

55. On certain subjects about uncertain things, sometimes it's just best to shut up.

56. It's more complicated than it seems. Did you really think it was that simple?

57. New things can be shocking. Maybe you should let them settle in before doing anything.

58. Don't forget where you came from. It makes you unique and awesome. This includes your heritage, your parents, the places you've lived, and just your past in general. It makes you who you are, and even if it's a past you'd rather not go back to, bring out the best from it, and learn from its pains.

59. Sometimes arguments are necessary, for the sake of sanity.

60. Communication is essential.

61. People complain just to let something out; they themselves don't necessarily think it's as big of a deal as they are making it. It can be hard to know for sure, though. Sometimes you have to ask.

62. Everyone gets annoying every once in a while.

63. Little kids remind you of the things you were taught to forget.

64. "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." [Buddha] Makes sense to me.

65. Ignorance is bliss. I can't deny it.

66. You've gotta do what you've gotta do.

67. Your words and actions have just as much of an effect on others as others' words and actions do on you.

68. Panicking is one of the worst things you can do.

69. A good friend is one with whom you share the bad and good times.

70. Don't give a gift expecting one in return.

71. People say things they don't mean and mean things they don't say all the time. I don't blame them, but this certainly doesn't make things easier.

72. Perhaps you would have done the same thing if you were in that person's place.

73. Rules seems so strong and sturdy, but with only a little persuasion, they can melt like butter.

74. It's easy to forget what's not right in front of you.

75. The place you grew up in stays with you forever.

76. Past a certain point, there's nothing to do but give up.

77. "Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young..." [J. K. Rowling, Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix]

78. If you don't beg, persuade, and cajole people to let you do something, you'll never be independent.

79. We can only be at most and at least one person.

80. Hate only proves that you care. Indifference hurts more.

81. You're unique. Just like everyone else.

82. Confidence is key.

83. Many groups of people hide their oppressive ideologies behind other ideologies, thus tainting those innocent ones.

84. Others are just as uncertain as you might be.

85. There are things you will never know and things you will never understand.

86. Right and wrong aren't as obvious as they're made to seem.

87. There is always something to live for.

88. Everything is subject to change. And you live with it.

89. Every land is beautiful. It's the people who make it different.

90. What matters to you doesn't matter to another. What doesn't matter to you matters to another.

91. Just because you were dumb when you were young doesn't mean all those who are younger are dumber.

92. Nothing is perfect. No one is perfect.

93. Some people will never change.

94. Some things just don't make sense.

95. One minute others are trying to control you. The next, you must try to control others. Neither is much fun.

96. Life is boring.

97. Sometimes the walls listen better than people do.

98. The only person who will be with you forever is yourself. In the end, we are all alone in our world of consciousnesses. The journey you make in life is one only you are taking.

99. It's one thing to be pessimistic. It's another to be prepared.

100. Don't let the unimportant come between you and the important.

101. So, what actually is important, anyway?

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A Rant On Reason

2010-08-22T08:09:00.001-04:00

I am saddened by all the small-minded people, and utterly disgusted by the media which made them that way. :-/

To all you stupid ignorant SOBs:

1) First and foremost! It is NOT a mosque being built near Ground Zero! It is an Islamic community center, which is planned to include "a 500-seat auditorium, theater, performing arts center, fitness center, swimming pool, basketball court, childcare area, bookstore, culinary school, food court serving halal dishes, and Islamic prayer space for 1,000–2,000 Muslims." By the media's logic, I should be calling my room a RadioShack because I have a computer!

2) Secondly, it is not *AT* Ground Zero; it is 2 full city blocks away. They are building on privately owned property, therefore no-one else except the landowner should have a say in it. Besides which, do you have any idea how many Muslims make up the economy of New York? And have you taken into account how terrorist groups distort Islam into the violent paradigm that the U.S. media has latched on to so desperately? One of the primary tenets of Islam is peace! Much like Christianity; and yet, think of the Crusades, and the Inquisition! Despite all that, there are churches all over Europe and the Middle East!

Let's start calling it Ground "Zero Tolerance", why don't we!

Bored.

2010-07-15T14:06:00.001-04:00

Osama bin Laden usually:

Osama bin Laden after shaving:

More Potentially Powerful Ponderings

2010-07-03T23:22:00.002-04:00

And the deep questions keep on coming - or at least they were, a couple of weeks ago.. Read below, an extract from my Formspring page (feel free to leave a question, dear blog follower):

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What is the meaning of the universe? From a physicist's perspective?

I was just about to put in a long speech about the meaning of the Universe .. but then I realized that that makes no sense. What is the Universe? It is the physical realm within which we perceive our existence - it has no meaning in and of itself.

If you intended to mean the meaning of Life, I could say 42 and leave it at that.

Remember, the question "Why do we exist?" can have two meanings:
1) Why are we physically capable of existing?
2) What is the ultimate goal of our existence?
1) The point of physics is not to actually find a meaning for existence; rather, it is to (ideally) find a unifiable set of laws that completely and unequivocally explain all physical phenomena within the known universe, and, perhaps, even beyond.
In other words, physics aims to answer the first interpretation of that question "Why do we exist?".
While it is not meant to answer the questions of sentience or consciousness, I would not be surprised if it offers some explanation in those regards.

2) But the second, more controversial interpretation of the question - that's what philosophy and religion are for (or better yet - an unbiased, but discerning mind).

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To further clarify (or more accurately, to reiterate), the question "Why do we exist?" consists of the two components How and What, which are completely independent of each other. Specifically:

1) How is existence physically possible?

2) What is the ultimate goal of existence?

1) As answered above, the How component is the question that the ever-evolving fields of sciences hope to explain. It is somewhat clarified by this comic, courtesy of XKCD:

2) The What component is the one that inspires so much of the controversy we love. All them religious fanatics have no other answer than "to worship God", or "to get to heaven", or some other idealistic fantasy that doesn't really lend itself to logical evaluation. Of course, I believe in some of that illogical crap too, albeit in my own science-influenced way that would probably guarantee me death stares in more conservative circles.

However, something that not many people think about is a minor corollary to said existential question: namely, what is the definition of existence? How do we know we exist?

Perhaps we should take the example of The Ruler of the Universe and just all be solipsists .. but even then, how could we be sure of consciousness?

As always, I'm open to comments.

-- Everything's Relative.

Religion vs. Science, revisited, perhaps revamped.

2010-06-22T20:40:00.022-04:00

I have been meaning to write this post for quite a while. It came to a head a while ago when I was honored with a particularly deep question on my Formspring page:
__________________________

Q: Why is it that physicists spend their time trying to discover the meaning or the secrets of the universe? What is it that they hope to gain by answering this question?

A: It's simple, really. We want to know why we exist and what the limits of this universe are, among other things. My own potentially controversial viewpoint is that the day we understand science in its entirety, we will truly know God. Because almost all religions teach that the only pure purpose of life is to serve God and others, and in doing so to come closer to God. God created this Universe and everything in it. He didn't simply set down laws (i.e. the laws of science) to govern its existence; He IS the Universe around us. Thus by understanding the Universe we will become one with God. ^_^ Thank you for this question; I've been meaning for weeks to write a blog post about it, and hopefully I soon will. :-)

__________________________

This, being synced up to my Facebook profile, sparked a minor discussion on how it makes sense. (If you are my Facebook friend you can see it here.)

A couple of days prior to that, my strongly religious buddy had posted a status update reading:
"Jesus is the answer to everything! Thank you Jesus!"
(If you are his Facebook friend, you can see it here.)
Being my comedic self, I had to ask a logical question to see if this was an indicator he'd lost all logic. Like, say, "What's your girlfriend's name?" Or "What did you do with the bodies?" You get my drift.

Now, while all of this may or may not have something to do with anything, the point is that virtually all religions, while far from a waste of time, are rife with uncertainties and instability*. For the more devout, there is pretty much no issue since everything is taken on faith; however, for the more logically-minded such as myself, science provides a calm, ever-developing haven for thought (and, theoretically, truth).
I have no problem with faith - heck, I'm a church-going, choir-singing Catholic. But my issues arise when the new discoveries and developments in scientific realms cause such tremors and tribulations in the religious world that you'd think, somehow, they were competing.

Take a look at my answer to the question I was asked, and you'll get my idea of why religion and science, far from being such bitter rivals, were meant to coexist.

At the very least: in a simple way, it gives us an answer as to how evolution could indeed be a way that God created us; it is a process that humans have used to a large degree, known as directed evolution. The name says it succinctly - evolution, but with an end goal in mind, and a hand guiding the path there.
Whereas the Bible says the Universe was created out of Nothing and Man was created out of dust (or clay, depending on the translation), science says that the Universe was most likely created out of Nothing, and that Man evolved from, and is still essentially composed of, many of the particles (i.e. atoms and molecules) that also compose dust (and clay). Why is there an issue about this? I'll leave you, the reader, to your thoughts on that.

_________________________
*Just as an example, the Bible has around ONE HUNDRED translations, just in English. God alone knows how much was lost in translation of each one, compared to the original Hebrew Bible.
In this regard, I respect the Qur'an of Islam, because they strongly advocate the use and study of their scriptures in the original Arabic.

Acknowledgement of Ambiguity

2010-06-18T12:58:00.000-04:00

To Whom It May Concern,

I Love You.

Sincerely,
Anand Lobo.

P.S.: It does not say "To who may be concerned about it".

P.P.S.: Read the P.S.

In the Name of God ...

2010-05-22T06:52:00.008-04:00

Has anyone ever stopped to wonder, what, in the name of God, is God's name?

I mean, we call Him God, sure. His Son is the great and awesome JC. We have the Holy Spirit moving around there too. (Being Christian, this is the Trinity we have faith in.)

He's omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, and above all, benevolent.

Being such a powerful being, it brings me to wonder, what is His true name? A being of such infinite greatness would, I think, have its own name. We can safely say His name is not God. That was a name coined by humans to describe, well, gods. The Sun god, the Moon god, the god of the Underworld, etc. ... no, God is not God's name.

Perhaps Yahweh, or its anglicized representation, Jehovah? Yahweh (and by extension, Jehovah) is widely considered to be the 'proper name' of God. However, in the Hebrew Bible, it is written as YHWH; there are no vowels to guide the pronunciation. Therefore, we are not even sure how it is pronounced.

Potentially even the Muslims might have it: Allah. The supreme and all-comprehensive divine name.

But I don't think so.

Not because I think religion is wrong, but simply because I believe God is so powerful, and so divine, that His true name would be incomprehensible to us mortals.

Think about it. By most accounts (including my own), God is an infinite, supreme being, perfect in every possible way, and anyone who's religious enough will tell you that there is NO WAY to comprehend Him in His entirety while our minds are still limited to this world. Why? Simply because the human mind has little capacity for the infinite.

Therefore, by extension, His true name would be similarly baffling to us.

I think of this because I would hate to die and find out that our creator's true name was, say, Bob.

(I would almost be surprised if anyone gets that reference.)

And I would think, sure, God works in mysterious ways ... but Why couldn't you have TOLD US?

I would not be surprised if I get flak about this from any super-religious types, though. If you are the type who thinks a little healthy curiosity and expression of one's ideas is wrong, and if you 'care for my soul' enough to condemn me simply for philosophizing, then you can be sure you deserve the same judgment that you expect me to receive.

Baba Yetu