Life As We Blog It:

Since I noticed...

noreply@blogger.com (c.marie) — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 04:39:00 +0000

Since I noticed that some people are still venturing here to read -- I thought I would let you know where you can read me now: www.seethebean.blogspot.com

I recently have had more thoughts in my mind that I thought were worth writing about. So - there.

Ali is at La Pointe of It All and I am at The Pod. Because I think it is always a funny send off: Peace.

Summer Blog Move

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 16:21:00 +0000

Hey readers,

Yes, I know - it's been a while since the last post but that's what happens when this life as we blog it gets busy!

So much has happened in the past few months so to catch you up on it all, I'll be blogging this summer over at LaPointe of It All. If you aren't following that blog and would like to start or if you would like to subscribe to email updates, head on over to LaPointe of It All!

You may just be surprised by what you'll find!

Ali

Unexpected

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 22 May 2010 13:59:00 +0000

I drove Matt's car to work this past week since driving my own results in horrific pain (I drive a 6 speed shift; his is automatic - I know, a bit of role reversal, eh?)

I don't listen to the radio because I'm all about audio books and downloads of This American Life but my current audio book is pre-loaded into my 6 CD changer and his car's integrated iPod system doesn't recognize my TAL app so I've tuned in to whatever stations Matty has pre-programmed.

Well, yesterday, the morning hosts of one of those stations were talking a mile a minute about the season finale of Grey's Anatomy - a show I have NEVER watched - and man, they were so jazzed up about it that it reminded me of way back in the day when suddenly, on episode 14 of season four of Thirtysomething, Peter Horton's character Gary was killed in a car accident.

That Thirtysomething moment is, to this day, my most shocking television moment ever. I'll never forget it: it was February 12th, 1991 and even though I was a 17 year old high school senior, I loved that show and was destroyed by Gary's death (remember, we all thought Nancy was going to die, not Gary!). My other Thirtysomething loving friends (Deb, Megan, and Gretchen S.) and I even held a funeral for him the following weekend - that's just how profound that television moment was for us.

Obviously, I had to know what happened on Grey's, despite not knowing a single character's name and still associating Patrick McDermott with Can't Buy Me Love fame. So last night before we went out to meet up with the Amitsis' to enjoy some Greek food by the water in Edgewater, I went online to get some info and came across a Yahoo article with the episode embedded on the page (isn't Hulu amazing?). I hit play and for the next hour and a half, I was glued to my laptop.

Now, I've never watched a program on my laptop - I find it annoying: I like a big screen and a seamless view that is not interrupted by spinning rainbows - but I watched until Matt was standing over me with his keys in his hand. This morning, I woke up and went straight to the computer and watched the remaining 32 minutes.

All I can say is oh. my. god.

Wow. Twenty minutes in, Matt came running out of the bedroom to see if I was ok: he thought I was sobbing because of my ridiculous pain that REFUSES to go away when in actuality, I was bawling my eyes out because it took just one episode for me to become ridiculously emotionally attached to all of the characters.

It was, by far, the best two hours of television I've ever watched, which is bizarre since it's a series that has many seasons that I've never watched.

If you haven't seen it, go immediately here and watch it; it will be time well spent.

Frustrated

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 18 May 2010 23:09:00 +0000

Frustrated
Originally uploaded by Nos10

I wrote a really great post earlier today.

And then I deleted it accidentally before it posted.

'nuff said.

Makeshift Volleyball

noreply@blogger.com (c.marie) — Mon, 17 May 2010 12:00:00 +0000

My favorite moment during park time tonight was when I glanced over toward the baseball field (usually a place from where I try to avert my attention) and spotted a group of people playing volleyball over the fence of the baseball field. How unfair. Baseball players get 3 maybe even 5 fields per park and volleyball gets nothing. Tennis usually gets 4 courts and basketball at least one. Soccer always has at least one field to itself also (and really, all soccer needs is 4 large stones and some grass to really make a field.) All volleyball gets is the leftover land in the corner to put up a net, if you have the means to purchase and then bring one. How sad. It is time volleyball got the proper respect it deserves. If people are willing to be creative enough to use a fence instead of a net in order to play their sport, they deserve a net. Who wants to watch grown men in onesies standing on the field waiting for a ball to come to them when you can watch 4 hotties at the beach battle it out in their formerly geeky, currently studly bods. If we build it, they will come.

Honestly

noreply@blogger.com (c.marie) — Fri, 14 May 2010 11:47:00 +0000

This kid scares me. He is a risk taker and rule maker. He sets the bar and then blows it out of the water and I know that I am not going to be able to keep up soon. Real soon.

Painful Hiatus

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 13 May 2010 14:14:00 +0000

Hey gang -

I'm sure some of you have noticed that we've been on hiatus here at Life As We Blog It - I apologize for the abrupt halt of our posts!

It seems that our good intention to post honestly and authentically each and every day was curtailed last week due to several factors, one being my unfortunate (and untimely!) sudden health concern.

Now, don't freak out - I'm fine, it's nothing even near life threatening or contagious - just a hereditary pain issue passed down through the family line: some people inherit their parent's money... unfortunately, pain is the current currency of the Kline dynasty!

I've dealt with this issue on and off again for the past decade and it's exacerbated by stress - my doctor, St. Tucci (LOVE HIM), said my daily two hour, round trip commute no doubt affects my health more than I realize (sitting tense in the car for ten+ hours a week can do a number on your physical well being!) - so my doctor ordered up some bed rest.

I'm trying to take it easy but man, it's not easy being easy when the slightest movement causes me to shriek out in pain and I'm not even trying to be the slightest bit dramatic - I swear! And it's REALLY not easy to take it easy when one is as restless and hyper as I am!

So, do us a major solid and please bear with us until we're back to our regular posting schedule. I'm sure we'll have A LOT to write about!

xx Ali

All Work and No Play

noreply@blogger.com (c.marie) — Thu, 06 May 2010 18:11:00 +0000

I got sick this week, which makes teaching children things fun. Whispering, "Please sit down!" and "Do you really want to throw that paper into the trash from across the room?" Just doesn't do it the same way my full force voice does.

I am anxiously awaiting my voice's return and hoping I can coax myself into writing sub plans (I doubt it) in the meantime.

Today, I typed the instructions I usually give orally onto a Word Doc which was projected onto the white board at the front of the room. Creative-yes, Effective-just as effective as whispering.

I am so thankful that I get to cozy up to my boys tonight. So what if I will have to wash a few dishes and vacuum the floor, I get to snuggle until my heart's content.

I have this other job, that I will try to photograph myself doing so I can post a pic, that takes up so many nights. I am happy that I have a second job, yes, but it is so long to be without the males in my life.

I love the snuggles and cannot believe that I have from 3:15p-8p to get them tonight.

Ooooo. I can't wait.

Mommy Nanny

noreply@blogger.com (c.marie) — Wed, 05 May 2010 12:00:00 +0000

above: former nanny and her hubby to be snugging with Harebear

The best childcare in the world is the kind where the person caring for your child cares for them even more than you do. I know, it doesn't seem possible.

The following interview comes from someone so near my heart. This girl not only showed up at my house every morning when I was living in a foreign country, but she really truly cared for my son in that way that a great childcare provider does - I think she loved him even more than I did.

One of my favorite moments was when I discovered that she laid down next to my son's crib while he fell asleep. My heart melts whenever I think about that. The other favorite thing that I remember about her time with my son is when she told me about how Harebear kept putting his fingers in his mouth while he was eating, so she taught him not to. I had never thought of teaching a baby that, but I guess I should have because it totally worked and he is a really clean eater. He can even dip his fries in his ketchup and not get his fingers messy.

Presenting the best child care provider in the universe, Laetitia Buckens:

What are your feelings about having a baby? Do you think there is a right time, and if so, how does a person know?

I love babies and children in general. I really would like to have my own, even more after taking care of that gorgeous baby last year, but now is not the right moment. I don’t believe there is a perfect moment to have a baby but still I do think there are moments where you are more available. I’m now doing an online degree; we are going to move to an unknown country next year; those are the reasons that make me believe this is not the right moment. But I don’t think there is a right moment, there will be a moment when we will be more open to those long-term changes.

Are you afraid at all that you have waited too long or do you feel you have waited long enough or that you should wait a bit longer?
I am a little bit afraid of waiting too long. I’m 10 years younger than myfiance and I see him change and become less and less patient and that worries me because if you consider that I would like to have 3 kids I might have to change partner on the way! I really was looking forward to be a mother and last year I think I would even have killed to become a mother. I was surrounded by great friends that have great kids and all I wanted was to share there happiness. I’m still looking forward to become a mother, and I hope I’m not mistaking in waiting one more year, finish my degree and settle in before finally going on this great journey.

How much does your desire to have a child affect your relationship? In what ways?
As I just said, last year I would have killed to have a child! I wasn’t thinking of doing a degree, I was settled down in a nice country surrounded with great friends… I really thought it was the best time to have a baby but hopelessly my partner didn’t share that idea at all. We got in some bad fights on this subject. Although we both adapt well to change, he wasn’t ready for this kind. I don’t think we would have stayed together if he had told me he doesn’t want to have children but that wasn’t the case ;o) Whatever, I’m happy that I took this chance to get a degree and secure my future and he is now taking it into consideration while planning our future.

How do you think you would be as a mom?
That’s a good question. I don’t think I would be as good as you ;o) You gave me a great example to follow. I think I will do my best and hope my child will like it that way. I have many examples around me and many friends to help me doing the best choices and a great partner to help me, so I hope I will not be too bad ;o) Being a good mother is not an easy path and it depends on which way you look at it. I don’t like the way my sister is raising her children, but I also think she does what she believes is the best for them and that is the most important. There is no regret if you follow your beliefs and do your best.

Why do you think you desire to be a mom?
Because there is a perfect little boy and girl on this earth that made me want to become one? They definitively are part of that desire, but I think it also is because I love children. They have that unique way of thinking and learning. I really would like to see a little being become an adult, see him growing up, learning, making mistakes and learn of them. I am a very curious person and kids are so interesting to see growing! I hope so much I will have the chance to spend as much time as possible with them!

Do you feel like you understand what it will be like to be a mom?
That’s a good question again. I would like to say yes, but I know that is idealistic. I do know that children change lives but not enough for it to be unbearable. I’ve seen and met women whose lives changed completely and my sister for example stopped going out and doing most activities because of her children. But I also met great people that adapted and continued to follow the path they chose for themselves and their family. My partner and I love to go out hiking, walking for several hours and of course I know we will have to adapt and change some of our habits, but I want to believe having a kid won’t stop us from doing those activities or even moving around the world.

Do you think you will work when you have a child? Why or why not? Would you want to work or not?
As I said before I would rather not work and stay with my children. I’ve already experienced being a housewife and it doesn’t bother me (I’m pretty good at keeping busy). But I don’t think we will have that chance. Europe is expensive to live in and we still hope to raise our kids where we grew up and give them the best education possible. (Laetitia is from Belgium and her fiance is from France) I still hope and think I will try to accompany them until they get old enough to make their own choices without being too much influenced. I’m really scared to not help them enough to make the right choices in the world. When I see how the world evolves, how racism spread all over the world, I’m really scared for them. This is also the reason I want to raise them in different countries, give them a chance to see the world and make their own opinion.

Do you think you will want to move home to have a child?
No, definitely not! I still think that one day I might go back close to my country, and I hope I might even be willing to live there again. But for now every time I go back home I get so disappointed on the path my country and family is taking that I thank God to live abroad. I don’t want my children to grow without knowing their family, but I don’t think they would have the best influence on them. It’s a hard decision and I might change my mind. I know kids need to know where they come from and family usually have a good impact on the growth of children but when I see my sister’s children and how their close family has a deep impact on them… I believe people try to do their best and maybe my children will be upset at me when they will be older but I really think that they won’t miss a lot by seeing our families twice a year.

Thanks Laetitia! We miss you!

It Never Stops...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 04 May 2010 12:00:00 +0000

This morning, I got a tweet from one of my favorite bloggy friends, @thestartupwife (I totally want to be her - she's in an MFA program and just finished her novel! So exciting!). In it, she mentioned how at the same time I was thinking about breakfast, she was still in the throws of her nighttime, hours away from thoughts of eggs and oatmeal.

Whereas I once thought the world revolved around me (and still wish that it did indeed), it's quite clear that I am just a small part of it and when I stop to rest, it doesn't stop with me - it just continues on.
Think about it - while we are sleeping, someone else is waking. While we are dancing, someone else is crying. While we are blogging, someone else is having sex. While we are driving, someone else is flying.

And yet, I do believe that somehow, that continuous cycle is what connects us all: we are all living.

Which means, according to my most talented student, that at every moment, all of our hair is growing...

64. at this very moment
by pallavi mishra

your hair is growing. and so is your mother’s and your sister’s and your barber’s , and probably your grandmother’s too, because they say it keeps growing when you’re dead. and as you brush your teeth and wait for the bus and place complaints by telephone it keeps growing, pushing its way forward, never needing your permission at all. isn’t it terrifying?

"Turn it up, Man!"

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 03 May 2010 13:50:00 +0000

That's what my husband said to me last evening around 8 pm (and he wasn't talking Freedom Rock). Well, those above aren't his words verbatim but they're pretty close.

He was talking about air conditioning - the bane of my summer.

I love summer. I love heat. I don't even mind a touch of humidity and I kid you not, when I'm home during the summer, I will sit in our flat from the moment I wake at 7 am until Matt arrives home around 8pm without ever turning that awful machine on.

But the minute there are two people occupying our 702 square feet, well, then it's a different story. That's when the AC becomes a necessary evil.

There's nothing worse for my husband than working a 10-11 hour day, followed by an hour or so of sweating purposefully at the gym and then walking ten blocks back to our place only to arrive home to an incubator.

I get that and to be honest, after 12 hours of sitting in my home-made sauna, I'm ready for a little relief, too; and so when Matty arrives home, the AC goes on.

And then I start to freeze. And Pinkerton refuses to sleep on the bed and takes to the low country instead. And then I am cold, stuffy, and sad.

But what's the other option? Sweat all over our lovely furniture and bedding? Get an awful night's sleep? We can't open the windows at night or we'll be awake all night to the sounds of the truck route - particularly those belonging to the 6 night a week garbage and recycling fellows - that passes in front of our bedroom.

So I freeze. And Pinks mews. And Matt sleeps.

What about you? What are the necessary evils of your life?

Mail Me

noreply@blogger.com (c.marie) — Sun, 02 May 2010 18:58:00 +0000

at a bus stop near Pisa, Italy 2009

I love getting mail. There is something about receiving a sample of someone else's handwriting. What is it about handwriting? It really gets me going. Like when my husband writes me notes for our anniversary that say sweet things that I want to hear. I love that he wrote them and that I can read them whenever I want. So exciting. I just got some letters in the mail from some sweet girls who are finishing up their stay in Turkey. They are writing to these others teenage girls here in NJ and I can't wait to see what they think of their time in Turkey. There is something about writing that gets ideas out that would not come out otherwise. It is like a time to breathe out everything that you have been waiting to say at the right time. Just breathe it out on the paper and then it will be known and there is no need for a response. Just a smile and a hug or maybe a paper and pen reply. I love pen pals. Just one person across the world to write to. Not 556 friends in a technological melting pot. That's what I wish for the world: more pen pals.

Hey Dido, Sing It !

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 01 May 2010 11:52:00 +0000

I woke up this morning to the lyrics of a Gloria Estefan song singing inside my head. Now, while I am madly in love with Celine (and very sad that no one would go with me to see her documentary when it was playing in the theater), I am not a Glo fan - her music just doesn't do it for me - but the song is the one she wrote and released after that awful bus accident back in 1990 (my senior year of high school). I remember how at the time of the accident, my momma - who is a Glo fan - wrote Glo a letter expressing her deepest wishes for a full recovery and I have no doubt that my mom's well wishes and the support of family, friends, and fans helped bring the singer out of the dark.

As most of you have inferred from my recent (ok, from most) of my posts, a significant part of my daily life is spent dimly lit. It's ironic how one dark cloud can suck the light out of so many rays of sunshine; it's disheartening and puzzling: why would one intentionally prefer to spread doom and gloom when one could instead be a giver of light? Well, I think we know the answer to that, which is why I keep reminding myself that the actions of others have nothing to do with me: those actions are the outcomes of that person's pain, lack of confidence, fear, anxiety, ignorance, etc.

MY actions are the ones that count; they are the only ones I can control and it's time I start focusing all of my energies on affecting my own change instead being affected by others. And so for the past few weeks, I've been making some changes, taking some actions, and it's paying off: I'm finally coming out of the dark and it is an awesome feeling.

I apologize for keeping the deets to myself but for now, I think it's best that I do: when all is said and done, I want to know that I made my choices without influence, that I chose what was best for me.

However, I want you all to know how much your support has helped me come to terms with my situation, how it has given me the courage to make tough choices, has reminded me to always stick to my convictions, and how it has served as a beacon of hope. Even that dark cloud failed to extinguish your flames!

Yesterday was our school's poetry festival - the 19th annual of what used to be the largest in the state... until this year when, like Vincent Toro wrote in this poem, the admin claimed that the "schools got no dough for art programs". Still, it was a total love fest and the kids were incredibly inspired by the words of Marjorie Barnes, Joe Weil, Charles Johnson, Cat Doty, Christine Salvatore, Joseph Legaspi, BJ Ward and another lovely poetess who, at the last minute, filled in for one who couldn't make it and whose name escapes me currently.

Coincidentally, yesterday turned out to be my own personal love fest when so many of my dear, dear friends reached out to me in simple little ways that meant so much. Sitting next to my girl Strachan as we teared up while watching Marjorie Barnes perform "My Blues Ain't Over Yet" was a sappy moment the two of us could only share through poetry but proof that we will always be best friends.

And just when you think it can't get much better than that, imagine checking your Twitter and discovering that your own personal rock star, @AmandaCaswell, put out a #FF declaring you one of the "Women [she] adore[s] and aspire[s] to be" or having an authentic back and forth blog comment/email conversation with a fellow English teacher you've never met but who is morphing from a virtual dear friend into an actual one.

Or hearing from your mom that she's feeling great and enjoying spending time with one of her co-workers 4 days a week after work, or heading over to The Community after a long absence and being greeted warmly and genuinely (and having @sifinalaska tweet you that she's missed you!).

Or talking Harry Potter with one of your husband's college buddies via blog comments and having your husband chime by adding his own two cents on "those, what, like, two or three books in that series that [he'll] never read?" from across the sushi spread. Or getting a text message from one of your craziest, most fun loving, adorable friends inviting you as "one of [her] favorite ladies to get together as a ridiculous, fun foursome" and play in a "charity golf outing behind [her] house. Golf, beer, prizes, breakfast, lunch, booze, gift bags, prizes and a night at Chez Cingari".

Or receiving text messaged dresses in hopes that you can choose the one just right for your dear friend's pseudo retirement dinner, pseudo because after 25 years of teaching at the school you worked in for the first 4 years of your career, she is resigning to move to Philly to be with the love of her life. Or getting an email from the superintendent of that district (who was your supervisor ten years ago) asking when you'll be back in PA so the three of you can go out and celebrate Paula's new beginning.

Or chatting with your best friend from birth on the phone about her little mini-me's decision to "re-invent herself as Elizabeth instead of Libby" when she starts kindergarten in the fall or sharing buffalo chicken tenders and mounds of blue cheese dressing with your other childhood BFF at the Bridgewater Mall after helping her choose the best pair of maternity skinny jeans to get her through the last few months of her fourth pregnancy.

Man, I am blessed.

Thank you.

xx Ali

These Books are Far From Deserted

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 16:20:00 +0000

One of the best parts of putting together my deserted island book list was realizing that my imagined desertion could commence on the island of my choice, since this is my imagined scenario.

Obviously, I chose my island for my desertion and here's my list. Mind you, this is just this week's list; next week or next year or even this evening's list may bear no resemblance to this one.

1. Until I Find You and 2. The World According to Garp by John Irving.
3. A Year of Magical Thinking and 4. Slouching Toward Bethlehem by Joan Didion. 5. The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffennegger 6. I am Charlotte Simmons by Tom Wolfe 7. Autobiography of a Face by Lucy Grealy 8. Truth and Beauty and 9. Bel Canto by Ann Patchett. 10. Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver 11. Atonement by Ian McEwan 12. The Hours by Michael Cunningham 13. To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf 14. Evening by Susan Minot 15. Harriet the Spy by Louis Fitzhugh 16. 1000 Acres by Jane Smiley 17. to 23. The Harry Potter Series and of course, 24. Ring of Bright Water by Gavin Maxwell.

Let Them Touch Babies

noreply@blogger.com (c.marie) — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 12:03:00 +0000

the bean...

Above: My parents look on as some Turkish women take Harrison out of their arms and treat him like their own, common practice in Istanbul.

I was thinking the other day about how much Turks publicly loved every child and showed it by hugging and touching and pinching and playing and feeding them. Pete and I talked about how much we would miss that and boy we do.

When forgetting that baby touching doesn't exist here, I just rationalize that Americans are crazy about themselves and have trouble connecting with each other, and maybe have a little too much knowledge about germs and the like, and I really miss the Turkish women and young girls who would just snatch my children from me to play with them everywhere we went.

I know that parents complain about "strange" people touching their babies, and I have to always remind myself to tell my animal loving (and therefore baby-loving) 1.5 yr old son to "not touch the baby's face" when he waddles over (okay - he is definitely running by now, but I don't want advance him yet) and is interested in the secret bundle beneath the blankets in the "carrier."

Even with the verbal reminder from me, showing the parent that I understand the unspoken rule, I often get awkward slash nervous voices coming from them saying things like, "Oh isn't that cute...look another baby." When I know in their minds all they are thinking is, "Get away from my baby with your wood chip-mud filled baby so we can go home clean. Why did I bring my child out of his room?"

Is this germ thing for real? Anyone who has let people touch their babies (specifically faces even), has your baby gotten any life-threatening disease from this? I have never heard of such a thing, but maybe it is because I avoid the liable-scared doctors that the American Health care system creates.

I have had 2 chances to do research in this field and in both cases I have had no trouble with people manhandling my children since birth (washed hands or not -- I hear the "ewww gross" coming through your skull and I kindly turn my nose to it). No one got sick or had negative repercussions from my sharing.

The Turks had such a deep love for children, I think since they recognized that having a family is valuable and precious. I think that in the US, a country where it is common to treat money like it comes from trees, we think that therefore things that are deemed "expensive" (children) are really not that valuable since everyone has them.

But they are so valuable. And why should we keep these precious, valuable things to ourselves?

I often think about my own mom who brought us everywhere, all 7 of us. I always thought it was because she loved us, but I think I am now understanding in my old age, that she loved everyone else and believed that children are what you share with those you love.

I think I believe the same thing. Of course, don't we all believe most things our mothers do?

Children are meant to be shared. They are only little for so long and we don't all get to enjoy them when they are young. Let those who can't enjoy their own enjoy yours.

I want to be more communal here. Individualism is only good for so many things.

You Are What You Read

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 12:07:00 +0000

Consider this:

You've been exiled to a desert island but before you leave, you may choose 24 books to take with you. Which titles would make your all-star list? Would you choose to take your favorites, kind of as a sure thing, instead of striking out and choosing 24 unread ones? Would you stick to novels only or would you delve into non-fiction? Poetry? Would any of you choose a volume of poetry?

Would you choose the thickest, fattest reads you could find, in hopes of prolonging your reading experience (or, perhaps, in hopes of having more pages to use as kindling if the plot sucks?).

I found this pic, titled "Desert Island Books: My 24", on Flickr and the first thing I did when I saw it was to scan each title to see if I agreed with any of the choices. At first, I thought, "You've gotta be kidding me: of all the titles in the world, this guy chose these? Ugh, thank God I'm not stranded on an island with him 'cause based on these titles alone, I think he would drive me insane".

It's true, as an English teacher, I do judge people by their covers, literally - but not in the same terms that cliche no doubt brings to most minds. If I happened upon you seated by the side of the road, a battered copy of Catch 22 clutched between your grubby little fingertips, I might give you a ride and would be interested in hearing about your interest in Heller.

But if you told me that he was, hands down, your favorite writer, I don't think I would date you, nor do I think one would ever find us seated side by side gossiping while getting matching pedicures. And if you were reading A Clockwork Orange, well, there's no way in hell you're getting in my car.

But that doesn't make you a bad person, (unless you live your life emulating Alex's) it just makes us different in terms of preference and I've found that one's reading list is a good litmus test for my friendships.

My closest friends are ones whose personal collections are akin to a literary smorgasbord: they might be found reading Ulysses in between commercials just as easily as one might catch them in the middle of Anthony Kiedas' autobiography, Scar Tissue.

Just as I could easily be found laughing hysterically over this or completely absorbed in one of my favorite novels - the only one I share with the creator of the Desert Island collection pictured above...

Can you guess which one it is?

I'm going to put together my Desert Island list for a post later in the week; I would love to see yours and don't worry... since it's virtually impossible to get a pedicure online, we'll be able to remain friends!

Marching

noreply@blogger.com (c.marie) — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 12:00:00 +0000

Yesterday was a walk that honored anyone who didn't expect the unexpected, but got it and are working even harder to make sure that others have the support they need as well.

The March of Dimes walk was held in multiple cities this weekend, and the one that is closest to our hearts and homes was the walk in Ocean Grove, NJ.

I not only love that town because I had many successful volleyball tournaments there when I was a young lass, but also because it is where my wedding photographer happily resides. And maybe that small part about the Atlantic Ocean meeting the land there.

It was rainy, yes it was rainy. Everyone still walked, maybe it was a slightly shorter route, but everyone walked.

It is nice to get everyone out and together to show the love they have for each other.

My husband taught a lesson at church about 3 dimensions, and I think events like this make life a little more 3 dimensional. People are powerful tools. Thanks for a great rainy day.

Opposite Attraction

noreply@blogger.com (c.marie) — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 12:00:00 +0000

T. Cal
ridin' in style

the bean...
Rutger's Day is a gigantic activity that started while I was gone in another country.

It used to be just Ag Field Day. A fun-loving outdoor day where good food is served and fun things are sold and folk music is sung and eco-friendly people talk about eco-friendly things and we are all encouraged to be more scientific.

I love it all and miss it, and because Ag Field Day is now part of "Rutger's Day" it is even bigger and better and there is more signage for all the activities and more activities that equal fun.

I braved it on my own with the 2 boys, but realized that there was nothing to be brave about. They were so awesome that even though HareBear's left eye and nose were leaking because of some sunblock that "someone" dispensed into his hand and encouraged to be applied (almost as bad as the day his dad gave his older brother T. Cal hot sauce to taste to show him he wouldn't like it), Hare still laughed and smiled and gave hugs. That is how good it all was.

There were dogs, cows, pigs, sheep, and as if that wasn't enough to draw in all the suburbanites who moved to NJ from the city, there were even pony rides. T. Cal was the first to jump at the idea of riding the pony. However, Harrison was the one to literally jump at it. While approaching the horsey Harrison was diving from my arms to while Calvin was pulling my arm fro. Luckily T. Cal was okay with waiting while I walked with HareBear around the loop. Thank goodness for his sweet patience.

He did make it on for his own ride after gaining some confidence watching his brother, 3 years his junior. I think I will always wonder how they came from the same womb. I guess if they were the same there would be nothing to learn about.

This is why I love my husband and his ability to do things while I always think about things. I love coming home to a new wall torn down and half the yard dug up. I would never do it myself, so I am glad I have someone to do things for me. Thanks for tearing down the walls.

No More Crying Over Spilt Ash

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 24 Apr 2010 12:58:00 +0000

Yesterday, Matty and I hopped a plane

for what was to have been a

death-of-three-birds-with-one-flight

Floridian rendezvous with the

Should-be-Supermodel

and her Political Fisherman hubby,

and our Optometric love child and

sister of the sporadic blogger, Romanian Lettuce, the

Romanian Anna Kournikova

(I know, who's who, right?)

But as it goes, this old guy halted my London birds' flight

and suddenly our Party of Five became a menage a trois,

making us (no doubt) the envy of millions
but bringing me down a bit at the same time:
It would have been a blast to hang out with Abs and J
on our side of the pond since the craic our foursome
usually partakes of is always the pure Scottish kind.

Back in the day, a set back like this might have kept me down
but this Ali is done crying over spilt ash:
this is MY life as I blog it and it's never too late for revision!

It's funny what marriage can do for a girl in
terms of confidence; don't get me wrong - I've always been
confident in who I am and I've acted with confidence my
whole life. But until I married Matty, I wasn't confident that
my life would have a good outcome and instead hoped
for the best but expected the absolute worst.

That changed the moment he slipped a ring on my finger.
I'm not afraid of life and its bullies anymore and
from now on, I'm following Abbie's advice and focusing my
energies on embracing life's beauties, such as

being of an age where one can embrace resort wear,
because damn, I look good in resort wear!
And blogging from the lobby of a 5 Star hotel,
purchased on Priceline for $90 a night!

And being with those that I love and who love each other.
So, how are you going to blog your life today?

Children at Work

noreply@blogger.com (c.marie) — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 12:00:00 +0000

T. Cal

celebrating his

4th B-day

Make Me Take Me

Today I will bring my son to work with me.

I do not know how it will go or what he will do, but he is of age to try.

When I announced he was going, he was quite excited. And although he could not really remember what it is I do, when I mentioned the word "school" he seemed excited. I told him he had to dress nice and that he has to help me teach, and he seemed okay with that.

But, after giving him some time to think about it, the next time it was mentioned he said that he was scared.

He is always scared of the unknown.

His first day of gymnastics he kept saying he didn't want to go until we walked into the building and he saw all the other kids his age.

His first day of swimming he didn't want to go and he made me hold his hand until he got to the edge of the pool with his instructor and then he let go and entered the water with her (did he think they were going somewhere else?).

His first day of soccer, he didn't want to work with the instructor for the first 15 minutes of the lesson.

He is not hard nosed about it, but he needs that transition time. He needs the time to realize how he got there, where he belongs and what he is supposed to do now.

Change is tough. It is how we face it that matters.

I feel so blessed to have a job I can bring my child to.

I feel blessed that it is a good job and that it is one that I am not likely to lose anytime soon. I am blessed that even though I don't want to be the one working, that at least one of us has a job to provide.

I like that I can bring my son to work. It is like where the real world and the pretend/imaginary world of "academia" meet. It will be interesting to see what it is like.

I can hear the students' brains now, "So she really doesn't sleep at the school? Wow."

Manlier Than Chopping Wood (Oh - but he does that too)

noreply@blogger.com (c.marie) — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 12:00:00 +0000

The Man

framed by his boys

from the bean...

Ms. La Pointe and I have decided to mix things up this week and give a man a try at this interview stuff. What about the dads? We thought we would throw the men a bone and let them step up to the plate, but I am not sure that any other man can outdo the one I am about to introduce. This guy is the manliest man I have ever known which is why I married him. He is as confusing as all men are, but he knows exactly what I want and need and just doesn't always give it to me.

I am so grateful to have someone who doesn't give me what I want all the time, but always what I need. What a gift. It is a hard role to have, especially with such a privately emotional and hard nosed woman.

Presenting to y'all (my inner Texan) the only person who somehow gets me (but isn't that the way it should be?), my husband, and currently stay at home dad, Peter Clark.

What are the benefits of being able to stay at home?

The connection I have with the boys from being the primary caregiver. It is a connection that I would not be able to have with them any other way and I get to see the world through their eyes.

What are some of the most difficult moments to get through in a day?

Being the judge, jury, and enforcer for the boys is very difficult and it is constant throughout the day. It is an awesome responsibility and very difficult to balance because it is centered around this idea of fairness. I constantly think about what is fair to them how much to give verse how much to hold back. I have to remind myself they are their own person and have their own rights and desires and I have to decide how to help them develop into the best people they can be. Then I have to approach it in terms of how organically do I want them to develop. What filters and safeguards do I want to put in place that will help them now and in the future.

Did you ever think you would be in this position?

I grew up the 3 oldest of 11 so this is kind of old hat.

What is your favorite thing about each of the boys?

T. Cal would be his self-awareness. He knows who he is and is not afraid to show it...I hope he never loses that. For Harrison would be his fierce independence we could drop him in the desert and find him a week later riding out on a camel.

How do you decide what they are going to wear each day?

(I have wondered this for so long)

Whatever is on top.

(I will start putting matching items on top from now on - so simple)

What is it like going to the park and standing around with the stay at home moms or nannies?

Women at the park usually don't know how to interact with me. They will usually not talk to me and I will not approach them because it would make them uncomfortable. When the boys are behaving in a way that the women don't approve of they are reluctant to speak to me about it. Some will try and talk to me through the boys.

How do you keep yourself entertained during the day?

The kids do that for me.

What is your favorite thing to go do with the boys?

Wrestle.

Would you rather stay at home or would you rather work?

50-50

How do you feel about your wife working?

I wouldn't care one way or the other but I know that she would not function properly if she wasn't working. (Get it - if she wasn't working...)

Anything else? (he doesn't hold back here)

I have tried to observe and take the best aspects from the fathers I admire most and incorporate them into my parenting philosophy. Two examples from the long list would be my dad and father in law. My dad had a hard line that we were not allowed to cross and as long as we stayed on the right side we had a large amount of latitude in developing ourselves academically, socially, and physically.

I was driving alone with my father in law before I got married and during our conversation I asked him which of his kids he liked the most, I didn't get the canned response I usually get ,I love them all, he gave a real answer from youngest to oldest he explained what he liked most about each one of his kids he explained why and how he loved them and the connection he had with each child individually. I tried to take that response and implement it into my parenting philosophy I try to be aware of each of my kids and try to develop a deep connection with that is based on respect and trust and hopefully the fruits of that will be a profound love.

Ladies, ask your husband some questions that have been on your mind, and if you want him showcased, send them to Ms. La Pointe or the bean with a pic and your hubby will be next in line for the Mommy (and now Daddy) interviews. We love you guys.

Morale

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 12:03:00 +0000

Check it out: not only are these two students

sharing a set of ear buds, they're working side by side

to accomplish a goal. They're working hard, too - despite

the fact that neither one particularly enjoys reading

British Literature or, in this case, re-reading a Goth Romance

and completing a complicated activity that requires a lot
of writing. But they're getting it done and doing so without
complaint. In my 15 years as a classroom teacher,
I've learned a thing or two about selling an unwanted
product to an uninterested audience. The key is to create
an environment that appeals to the buyer,

one that gives the buyer access to the product on

his or her own terms; a good salesperson encourages
the buyer to ask questions about the product and then
asks for the buyer's opinion on what could be done to make
the product more appealing and is thankful
for the buyer's suggestions.

The Japanese have a word, Kyocho, that combines
two great concepts: harmony and teamwork. I am not sure if
there is such a word in English, but I'm assuming there
isn't because separately, each is difficult enough to achieve.

This American Life aired a program a few weeks ago
about the auto industry, more specifically, about the
closing of a plant in California, NUMMI, that opened in the
early 80's as a joint venture between Toyota and GM.
I listened to it on the way to work this morning and
all I kept thinking was, "Hmm, swap out the auto industry
for the education system and man, it's the same story:
when workers feel devalued, they don't work

to the best of their abilities. Buyers aren't interested
in investing in an inferior product. Which is what you get
when management views the end product in terms of figures
and focuses more on mass production than perfecting its process.

If you have an hour,
head over here and listen to the program.

While you're listening, consider the following:

Don't we all have something unique to offer?

Why isn't teamwork the obvious way forward?

Isn't a quality product more important than one's
own ego? People ask me all the time why our
American students can't compete with Japanese
students and after listening to this podcast,

the answer seems obvious and it has nothing
to do with intelligence or ability.

Today is an important day in New Jersey:
it's the day voters can show their support for our
schools by electing school board officials and approving
district budgets. I know that in my district, this vote is
particularly important because a multitude of student services
are at risk, including World Language and Arts programs,
clubs and activities, athletics, and class sizes, to name a few.
Contrary to popular belief, this vote is NOT a vote to raise
salaries or to fund teacher contracts; that's a separate issue.
This is a vote that directly affects the most important people
in the education equation: the kids. If you live in NJ,
please remember that as you go out to cast your vote today.

Travel Philosophy

noreply@blogger.com (c.marie) — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 12:05:00 +0000

Sis and Sis-in-law
hanging with their homeys

the bean...

My sister has an amazing idea - travel to Israel and then to Egypt and maybe to Greece. These are all places I have been to, and I am so excited about walking her through the best places to go to (forget Greece - go to Petra in Jordan) and the ones that can really be missed (Cairo - even the Pyramids really).

Every time I try to plan someone else's trip I am always thinking about the traveler's travel philosophy. What kind of trip do they want this to be? What are they going to do there? Are they going to visit someone?

I am planning a trip for myself to São Paulo this summer totally to see a friend's new baby and not so much the beauty of Brazil. (I hear SP is not the place for beauty anyhow). For trips like this, preparation involves shopping more for baby items, not so much for bikinis.

So generally speaking - what is your traveling philosophy in 7 words?

Go with a camera, leave without trinkets.

Sunday

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 12:53:00 +0000

Sunday

by Margaret James

my backyard is honey

and a bumblebee sweeper

broccoli wood, memory of a previous year

chilled wet grass

almost Eden

it’s spring, a celebration

that will pass too fast

Domesstic

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 13:00:00 +0000

Surprisingly, over the years I've discovered that

I'm pretty good at most things hearth and home:

My momma taught me how to set a pretty table

and fashion its lovely centerpiece without much effort.

I'm pretty clever when it comes to making

things look good (on the surface), too...

... and I've proven that I'm pretty handy with

a hammer, screwdriver, drill, or staple gun.

Decorating doesn't always come easy to me but

I manage just fine; Christmas trees are my specialty and

mine always looks just like my mom's,

right down to the cat curled underneath

But when it comes to the food part of domesticity,

I am an epic failure, a real domesstic.

I just am not good at all things food:

I can't buy it, season it, cook it or enjoy

any part of it except for eating it.

Yep, that's my fridge and what you see is $176.00

worth of nothing, minus the three meals we ate

at home this week (chicken, chicken, and chicken...

the last chicken dinner consisting of a bowl of

scissored - yes, scissored - breast doused in blue cheese).

I don't know what I'm going to do to make it better

but I'm thinking that if I moved here,

it would have to get a lot easier, right?

My name is Ali, and I'm a domesstic.