Life Candy

cleanse days 29 - 30: and... done. okay, not really.

2012-02-01T22:33:00.001-06:00

You know the saying that "All good things must come to an end"? Yeah, well, that's a lie. At least it is in a couple of cases.

My period. Which I wouldn't consider a good thing. Except at the two week mark after that day I told Roomie that the condom would've been more effective on him than on the night stand.
This cleanse. Which I would consider a good thing. A REALLY good thing.

... because...

My period finished on Day 30 -- 5 days after it started! OMG, that's NEVER happened before! In the past, I was still spotting on day 7. Plus, it wasn't as heavy -- and my cramping was definitely manageable. I took some ibuprofen with me when I went out, but I didn't take any. SO FLOORED BY THIS!
This life-changing cleanse is not over! Not yet anyway.

Also, I'm really enjoying my workouts again. I've fallen in love with the hula again after years of, you know, hating it. And despite the fact that I'm usually too sore to walk the next day, I've come to adore my squats, deadlifts, and push-ups. A lot.

Stay tuned for my complete 30-day cleanse summary post... with my future plans as I race to maintenance...

cleanse days 24-28: becoming fit without trying. kinda.

2012-01-31T22:09:00.002-06:00

It's the start of the last week of my 30-day cleanse. Crazy, eh?! Okay, observations...

As expected, the numbers on the scale didn't change after my 2 cleanse days. I'm still at 12 lbs lost. Why? Well,...
1. I had those evil pieces of pizza.
2. I only did one real cleanse day.
3. I anticipate healthy weight loss to eventually slow down a bit.
On the upside, I still lost 2.5 inches. With the scale not budging, it's quite extraordinary. This means I'm losing fat, not muscle, which is key. I'm doing this to be strong after all.
My lunches on these shake days have been similar to last week's -- lean meat and salad/stir-fry-veggies.
PMS IS KILLING ME!!! Cravings aren't as bad has they've been in past months, but they're still there, and they're EEEEEEEVIIIIIILLLLLLL.

Fitness...

For the most part, I've dropped the ball on the exercise portion of this cleanse.
The program instructs you to walk for 20 minutes minimum every day.
After some tweaking to find my best, most doable combination, I ended up with:
1. hula dance or Just Dance 3 (20 minutes 5 x per week)
2. push-ups/squats/deadlifts/planks (to exhaustion 2 x per week)
I have to work on being consistent if this is going to be a part of my lifestyle forever. But as I mentioned, I haven't been.
Also, I think I would've been closer to goal by now if I'd just stuck to the freakin' program!

Menstrually...

This was the true test for me, because my primary goal was cleansing the excess estrogen from my system. And I would know whether or not this was in fact happening by any changes to my period.
I got it on Day 26. And if I hadn't been counting, I wouldn't have known it was coming. NO PRE-CRAMPING!!! Woohoo!
I cramped for half of Day 27 and all of Day 28.
It was heavy for both Days 27 and 28, but not as heavy as it used to be.

Okay, so far, so good. I'll let you know the spine-tingling climax in the Days 29-30 recap.

cleanse days 22-23: the annual illness strikes again.

2012-01-30T13:32:00.002-06:00

The last time I got a big crazy massive cold/flu was this time last year. It was so horrible that Roomie had to take a family sick day to take care of me and to make sure the kids were fed and at school. I was down for the count for 4 days but still had bad symptoms for weeks after that. It was a nightmare.

This time 'round, it started off as what I thought was PMS and too greasy pizza. I should've known -- Lam was sick over the weekend (actually, he was already showing symptoms of illness on Thursday) with a fever. Now, I had it. The cleanse days were going to be a treat.

Monday: Cleanse Day 1... sorta.

I woke up with a fever, but no rest for mama because Lam was still really sick and didn't go to school that day.
I still decided to go ahead with a true cleanse day.
By lunch time, I couldn't continue and had to have something more.
I broke my cleanse with a shake, and in the evening, I had soup.
I felt so awful after the soup. Totally regretted having it.

Tuesday: Cleanse Day 2.

I woke up worse than ever that morning.
I decided to do a true cleanse day because:
1. I didn't have any energy to make myself any food, and with Lam back at school, I didn't have to anyway,
2. I decided to do what I used to do when I'd get sick: starve a cold. I'd shift the focus of my body from digesting to fighting illness.
Roomie ordered me to bed rest. He set up the bed and had me choose DVDs I could watch whilst relaxing.

I slept. I blew my nose. I consumed fluids. I coughed. I relaxed. I cleansed. I watched Special Features of each movie.
And by the end of the day, I felt so much better!

cleanse days 17-21: whoa.

2012-01-30T10:20:00.000-06:00

After cleanse days 15 and 16, I lost 2 more pounds and another 4 inches for a total of 12 lbs and 12.25 inches lost. I know! Bitchin', right?!!!

Back to shake days again: a shake in the morning, a healthy 400-600 calorie lunch, and a shake for dinner. With the Isagenix Snacks in between, that's a total of 1200-1400 calories. So, contrary to popular belief, I do eat enough!

Okay,...

as always, the morning shake after 2 cleanse days always tastes FREAKIN' AMAZING!!!
more of my fat is melting away so the flabby flabbaliciousness continues -- and yes, this is a great thing.
for lunch this week, I've had:

pulled pork on mixed salad
bbq pork with stir-fry
ONE GIANT BIGASSED greek salad
grilled chicken on caesar salad
clam chowder & tossed salad.

I've been CRAVING salad. Like it's sushi. And chocolate pavolva. And a Big Bang Theory Marathon.

Then disaster struck...

At about day 20, like clockwork, I started feeling my usual PMS symptoms -- moodiness, lethargy, and strong salt cravings. The timing sucked because that same night was also Treat Night for the family, and they ordered... pizza.

After I had my dinner shake, I had ~~one~~ ~~two~~ four slices of ham and pineapple pizza.
That night, it tasted SO good.
The next morning, I felt SO ill.
This entire cleanse, I've never been tied to the toilet. Until after I had that pizza. [TMI] It's like my body forgot how to process trans fats! [/TMI]

I was so glad that the next day was going to be a cleanse day. I was looking forward to scrubbing my innards clean.

Then disaster struck... again...

cleanse days 15-16: getting easier.

2012-01-25T10:08:00.000-06:00

Okay, call me weird, but cleanse days are getting easier. Remember, cleanse days are the two back-to-back days where all I take are a handful of Isagenix Snacks, loads of water, and 4 servings of detoxifying liquid infused with vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, and botanicals.

It feels like I'm giving my body a rest. Like Intermittent Fasting. Like what our cave-dwelling ancestors did when they couldn't find a good meat source and only had nuts, berries, and leaves to eat. It's natural and healthy. And probably the reason why they lived disease-free to old age... if they weren't killed by mammoths or snake bites or giant boulders falling on them or something, of course.

Anyway, I found that...

I could still function well with plenty of energy.
I had great mental clarity. No brain fog.
I felt light.
I sometimes forgot to eat my snacks. I was never really hungry. Which was actually a good thing because I'd run out of the Isagenix Snacks and had to buy some more from Sly.

cleanse day 10-14: keepin' on.

2012-01-17T17:02:00.001-06:00

Yes, I'm still here. A little less of me, but yes, still here. I'm still with the program, and although some things have kind of slowed a little, all the good stuff continues to happen.

I'm so much happier and positive than I've been in a long time. This is the most noticeable change.
I'm still sleeping well, still mellow, still free of anxiety.
I have a sense of focus I've never had before. My To-Do list is quickly getting demolished.
My priorities have shifted to things and activities that would honour my time and my goals.
Thanks to some new-found mental clarity, I'm better able to detect the bullsh*t, the time-sucks, the ones who don't have my well-being in mind.
And I now have the confidence to leave all that behind.
My skin is still so clear! My best friend Renee noticed at lunch on Thursday. She said I "glow"-d. :)
My fat has gone from thick, dense fat to soft mushy fat. Running is a nightmare due to the flappy-flappaliciousness! Crazy!

As you can see, although I've lost a good amount of fat and inches, my most significant and unexpected improvements have been mental. I think a lot of that has to do with a lot of estrogen having left my system along with the awful, awful fat. And as you all know, that's the main reason for this great journey.

Well, that, and my little cheerleaders who wrote this on my Isagenix schedule chart...

LOVE!

cleanse days 8-9: game changer.

2012-01-11T12:47:00.002-06:00

If you're new here, welcome! Please check out my Recent Posts on the sidebar for previous Cleanse entries.

I've joined a support group. No, not because of my various unusual tendencies that you've all read about here and questioned my sanity about. (Sorry for the danglies. I'm too mellow to be grammatically correct today.)

Upon Sly's urging, I've join the 6-week Game Changer. It's a 6-week challenge where new and veteran Isagenix cleansers (cleansers.. yeah, that sounds weird) support and chat with each other on Facebook, and get great advice from our coaches, who are also cleansing right along with us. It's a very encouraging and motivating group, and I love it!
There's also a prize at the end, but I'm there for the hand-holding and for the times I have concerns like "I think I drank the wrong thing at the wrong time!" or "OMG, is my tongue supposed to swell up like this?!" You know, minor stuff.

Thing is, the Game Changer started on January 7 -- and as you all know, dear readers, I started my 30-day cleanse a week before that.

What does this mean? Well, this means the 7 pounds and 2 inches I lost the previous week don't count toward the Game Changer! It still counts for my 30-day, but not for the challenge. Yeah, sucks, but it's okay -- I have more than that to lose before I'm at goal.

This also means I had to take new BEFORE photos and measurements on January 7. The pants were looser, but as I've said, I still have a lot more fat to lose, so the reaction was still OMG, I'm never going to eat again! I'm emailing these little photos of evil to our awesome coaches today.

Anyway, I've had my 2nd round of 2 back-to-back cleanse days. If I'd been doing the 9-day cleanse, I'd be done by now. And would I be satisfied with my results?! Oh, yeah!

I've lost a total of 10 pounds and 8.25 inches overall!

Okay, here's how it went...

Cleanse Day 8: Cleanse Day.

The kids went back to school! So, I didn't have to think about what to feed people since I wasn't eating as well. This was such a plus!
As an introvert, I had even less energy to devote to people today, so I cancelled meetings and mellowed out. I blogged. I relaxed. I took a nice long hot shower. It was a ME DAY.
My skin continues to feel incredibly soft. Yes, I still can't stop touching my face.
Nothing seems to harsh my buzz. I'm still mellow, happy, and content... zen.
Yet, I'm still unwilling to waste my time on low priority pursuits. I'm much more confident.

Cleanse Day 9: Cleanse Day.

My eczema is almost gone. Crazy!
I was afraid I'd be hungry, so I took an extra snack with me on my errands.
The mellow continued.
I've found that I alternated between feeling so cold and feeling so hot. When I was just sitting, I was chilled, but when I exerted any kind of effort like thinking or moving, I got really hot.
I was so focused today, I got a lot done.
And because I was so distracted by the things on my to-do list, I didn't feel hungry AT ALL!

Stay tuned for the next installment of my cleanse adventure!

If you want to try it too, head over here. I'll be happy to share this wonderful journey with you and hold your hand when you choose to pursue it too. :)

cleanse day 4-7: um, are you... high?

2012-01-09T05:29:00.271-06:00

Today is actually Cleanse Day 8, but I have to do some catching-up first.

Sly told me that one of the BIGGEST and most unexpected changes to experience on this cleanse was the mental aspect. And she was totally right. I suspect it's because of the flood of vitamins and minerals thanks to all the superfoods in the products.

It's been so long since I've felt this good about my life and myself. The energy and clarity is unreal. If you saw pictures of me at Sly's Christmas party before my cleanse, you'd see someone who's run down, tired, and defeated by life. I had absorbed so much negative energy from various sources and had given away so much of my positive energy that there was none left for myself.

Not any more. I'm like the person I was years ago. And I'm thrilled.

When we were younger and child-less, Harmzie, Sly, Myrtle, myself, and our crapload of friends would have Martini Nights after work every payday Friday. My girls would laugh at me when I would be deep into my first martini and telling them all how much I love them. But they would, of course, soak this love up. (The guys always hoped this love would lead to kissing, but that's a topic for a different post.) That feeling, that sense of well-being, that love I had for everyone at that moment, THAT is how I feel right now. All the time. Sans alcohol. Or kissing.

Anyway. Each day from Day 4 to Day 7 brought on a new physical and emotional revelation. It's kinda freaky and awesome. Read on.

Cleanse Day 4: Shake Day.

Okay, I'm getting used to this routine, and it's only day 4.

It's nice not having to think of what to make for breakfast. I'm a morning person, but I'm no kitchen maven. I've accepted that. I'm at peace with it. I'm movin' on.
Lunch: pulled pork and a huge salad.
My energy is up.
My cravings are still gone.
Sleeping is still awesome -- no anxiety, no panic attacks.
I've been feeling a great deal of love and acceptance for myself, my husband/kids, and all the people in my life who've given me so much, love me, accept me for who I am, respect me and the choices I make for myself and for my family.

Cleanse Day 5: Shake Day.

Lunch: (at the mall) burbon chicken and mixed sauteed veggies... and probably sodium through the roof!
OMG, my skin feels so nice! The moisture content is such that I don't need as much moisturizer as I did last winter.
The sense of well-being and positivity continues. I'm feeling really mellow and happy. I'm more relaxed about stuff that would usually bring on anxiety.
My sense of self-value, self-respect, and self-esteem has really grown. I'm wondering now how I let all of that get away from me. WTF, right? If not for my husband, who loves me and accepts me so completely, I wonder what I'd be right now.
Because of this rise in self-worth, I'm less patient with and more inclined to go bitchcakes on bullshit, negativity, things that offend me and who I am, and waste my time for no good reason.

Cleanse Day 6: Shake Day.

I can't stop touching my face. It's so soft! I know, I'm nuts.
My pants are really getting loose, but I'll find out for sure how much I've lost at the Day 10 weigh-in.
I had tickets to an advanced screening of Beauty and the Beast in 3D. I usually get really anxious, impatient, and kinda pissed off dealing with crowds, but NOT TODAY! It was almost nice. Almost.
Lunch: pulled pork and a huge salad.

Cleanse Day 7: Shake Day.

Lunch: (at The Forks for Mini's ballet class) bbq chicken and sauteed veggies.
I had so much energy! Sly told me that it was noticeable. I may have been talking at her. She just laughed at me. Love her. We always laugh together.
When Mini and I got home, I hit the ground running, doing laundry and cleaning up, and prepping the kids for school. Mini and I blasted through the books she had to have read (yikes!) and powered through her flash cards.
I'm actually looking forward to tomorrow's cleanse day. It's the kids' first day back at school. A whole day to do what I want. Wacky.

If you want to try Isagenix, check out the link or email me!

cleanse days 2-3: hmmm... this actually works.

2012-01-05T10:28:00.001-06:00

Day 2: Cleanse Day.

Day 2 is exactly like Day 1. Another day of no food. Just Cleanse For Life, the cleansing liquid, and some snacks. How did I feel all day?

I felt happy and energized -- no anxiety whatsoever.
The night before, I slept through without waking to any crazy panic attacks or worried feelings.
Okay, I did wake up a couple of times, but it was because Mini was beside me and smacked me on the head in her sleep, and I fell asleep pretty much immediately after. (Before, that meant waking up, and staying awake for hours!)
All day I felt relaxed, mellow, and slow, like I did when I used to live in Hawai'i. No rush. Everything was cool. It was like I was high. It was weird. Everything loud and crazy was jarring. I had to turn off the car radio -- it was harshing my buzz.
I had no cravings -- even at the mall surrounded by treats, and Thai food, and Starbucks caramel brulee lattes. I didn't want any of those! At all!

Remember my bestie Sly? Yeah, she's my sponsor on this Isagenix ride, and she told me that the 2nd Cleanse Day is much easier than the first, and she was spot on. It was easier...

...Until I decided to go to the mall! What a dummy. Remember the jarring I talked about above. Yeah, it took SO MUCH ENERGY out of me to deal with all that noise, people, ads, flashing lights, my kids! Holy crap, it was like a geocities website from the '90s come to life!

I started to get really fatigued, so I got myself a bottle of water and popped a packet of Isagenix Want More Energy? powder into it. This drink tasted like Fresca! It was really good, and it gave me the umph I needed to get through the afternoon.

Day 3: Shake Day.

Thanks to the back-to-back cleanse days, I'm down 7 pounds and 2 inches around the waist! Yay! Observations...

OMG, the first shake in the morning tasted SO GOOD! I wanted to pet it and squeeze it and call it George.
I love the chocolate shake more than the vanilla. The chocolate is so delicious! The vanilla... is kinda gross. Like a milk drink that's been left out in the sun for a whole afternoon. My cousin Glo -- who did this in the past -- suggested I mix them, one scoop of each. It was great!
After eating nothing the past couple of days, my stomach's shrunk, and I'm having trouble downing my food. I get full so much faster now!
I didn't eat enough lunch. Crap.

That's it for now! Onward to Day 4. :)

cleanse day 1: and we begin.

2012-01-02T09:28:00.004-06:00

Welcome to the first installment of my Isagenix 30-day nutritional cleanse! For the next 4 weeks, I'll be drinking shakes, taking supplements, and detoxing my face off.

Okay, quick overview:

The 30-day plan consists of a series of shake/food days and cleanse days, as described here.

Each week consists of 2 cleanse days followed by 5 consecutive shake/food days.

We then end the cleanse with an extra 2-day cleanse at the end.

Because I'm an Isagenix newbie, I also had to start with a couple of pre-cleanse days -- essentially shake/food days -- to ease me into today's cleanse. That was this past weekend... and it totally sucked ass!
I had major withdrawal symptoms... headache, nausea, severe fatigue, chills... and on top of that, I had cramps because my period started at the very same time! Roomie took care of the kids on his own. He had to. I was a mess.

But I woke up this morning feel good, sans withdrawal hell, and ready to go.

Okay, here are my starting metrics...

chest: 38 inches
waist: 39 inches
hips: 39 inches
weight: 147 pounds
height: 5'3"

Yes, my darlings, I am a box. It's quite horrifying. Anyway, I took more measurements (Isagenix gives you a big chart to fill out), but those will do for now.

I also took a "Before" shot, but I'm not showing that picture until I'm done the 30 days and have taken the "After" photo. But if any of you are thinking of doing a cleanse or weight loss program, you need to do a "Before" picture. Looking at that shot when I'm craving pasta or a sweet iced tea is enough to kill any desire I have to EVER. EAT. AGAIN.

In addition to the metrics, I also plan to keep an eye on other issues I have...
- facial fat... my face has totally rounded out over the past 3-4 years.
- swollen fingers... I want to be able to put my wedding ring and iron ring back on again.
- eczema.
- insomnia.
- anxiety.
- hormonal issues... like my beloved PMS. ugh.

Okay, stay tuned for my updates. I'll even try to post a video or two along the way.

How about you? Do you have a health-related 2012 goal? If so, how do you plan on tackling it? And how's it going so far?

kicking it in 2012.

2012-01-01T22:00:00.004-06:00

"So, last night, all 4 of us grabbed our favourite munchies and packed ourselves on the couch to watch Futurama: Bender's Game. We were all comfy cozy (Mini even fell asleep) and together as a family -- the best way to ring in the new year.

Now, it's 2009."

That was 3 years ago, but just change the 2009 to 2012 -- plus the fact that only 3 of us had our favourite munchies (thanks to my cleanse) -- and you'll have what we did last night! Hey, if something works, why change it, right?!

And we're going to do this with our babies for as many years as we can, because, let's face it, it won't be long before Lam will be all "I'm spending New Year's with my girlfriend" and Mini will be going to big NYE gala parties with her girls in her sparkly dress and high heels. Despite her dad's efforts to make her wear a turtle neck, jeans, and Sorels instead.

NOT sparkly high heels

So, now that I've put to bed a weird-and-somewhat-off 2011, I'm looking forward. And, baby, I KNOW that 2012 is going to be a much better, super-awesome year. I have BIG PLANS -- because if I don't plan, I'll get nothing done.

Okay, here's my TO-DO List...

Eat clean. Buy organic again. Cleanse periodically. Use my new slow cooker regularly.

Take a dance class. Just one. Maybe the Adult Hip-Hop or Jazz. Or maybe the Lyrical class Karen, a fellow dance mom, suggested I join.

Finish painting the dining room, foyer, stairwell/hall, and back landing. Nice crisp white, like my family room. My house needs to stop being so beige and dreary.

Declutter. As usual. And regularly.

Wear makeup before leaving the house. Minerals, mascara, eyeliner, lipstick -- done in less than 3 minutes. So easy, and I always get a ton of compliments, so WHY IN THE WORLD have I ever hesitated?!

Revamp my wardrobe. Rediscover my style. I had one, and I loved it. So, what happened? Also, DON'T buy anything unless I love it and feel comfortable in it.

Be okay with colouring my hair. Roomie says I'm gorgeous and should allow myself to grow old gracefully. But the number of greys have been growing exponentially, faster than I've been comfortable with.

Relax. Worry less. De-stress. Practice hatha yoga once a week. Bedtime by 9:30pm. Sleep enough. Rest when tired (this one is surprisingly difficult to do). No laptop in bed -- just a smutty romance novel, then lights out.

Write more. Develop my writing style more. On my blog. On other blogs. Continue to get paid for my writing..

Comment on at least 8 blogs per day. Includes replying on other blogs of those who've visited my blog.

Make a schedule and finish one project at a time. And no taking on new projects until the previous/current ones are done.

Have dinner with my pretend boyfriend Gerard Butler, dazzle him with my beauty and wit, and despite all his begging, refuse to run away with him. I will let this go when it is done. And not a minute before.

How about you? What are your resolutions for 2012?

the yumminess of 2011.

2011-12-31T18:56:00.002-06:00

This year, I decided to change the name of my "year end recap of the awesome stuff that happened". For my 2009 list and 2010 list, it used to be "the tits".

OMG, I used to call it THE TITS!!! What was I thinking?! Did I think I would sound cool or "street"?! Where's the maturity? The class that was supposed to come out of my ass?! I'm a 40-something mom of two for pete's sake! Clearly, I must've been drunk or high. Or something.

Anyway, "the tits" is out -- "yumminess" is in. For now. Onward!

Is it just me or was 2011 a little... off? Yeah, it was a weird year for me. I did a lot of things that I wouldn't normally do, and although I'm all for life-long learning, growing, and staying open for new things, I pushed myself to do things that weren't characteristically ME. And really, in the end, I got nothing out of it.

There's "Better Me". Then, there's "Someone Else". Guess which one I'm aiming for in 2012? ;)

But, you know, there were some pretty great things that happened. It wasn't all crap! So, hang to your hat, here comes the yummy.

Okay, here we go... in no particular order...

- my garden in the Spring.

- that my son made it as the only Grade 3 student in the Grade 4-6 Spelling Bee.

- when I got compliments on my makeup that only consists of 4 products and takes me less than 3 minutes to do.

- Sweet Talkin' Ken.

- all the "I Love You, Mama" and "You are the Best Mama" notes I've received.

- decaf half-sweet caramel brulee lattes with whip and extra sprinkles from Starbucks.

- that my pretty little girl got her ears pierced.

- when I reconnected with old friends on Facebook that I haven't seen in FOREVER.

- the gorgeous new curtains -- that I sewed all by myself!

- my kids as Bender and Leela for Halloween.

- the continuation of our monthly Sushi with Larry with my girlfriends.

- my beautiful new bathroom.

- getting together with lovely long-missed girlfriends.

- The Big Bang Theory, and seeing old friends and colleagues come to life through Sheldon, Leonard, Howard, and Raj.

- that I got my brand spankin' new Starbucks gold card.

- that my daughter was invited to take her Grade 2 ballet exams for the Royal Academy of Dance.

- afternoons with the bff, hanging at the coffee shop, drinking cold icy drinks on a hot summer day.

- dancing with my daughter at her Summer Recital.

- feeding ducks at the park with my kids.

- lists of stuff I love.

- that we bought an awesome minivan, fell in love with it, and now can never do without it.

- that my son danced hip hop on stage for the first time.

- the best collections of sci-fi and fantasy shows on the air: Fringe, Eureka, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Sanctuary, Red Dwarf, Futurama, Wizards of Waverly Place.

- grilled cheese sandwiches made with swiss ementhal.

- when we watched a real-life royal wedding!!! Squee!!!

How about you? What's on YOUR list of ~~The Tits~~ yumminess in 2011?!

vendredi gras: the night before my cleanse.

2011-12-30T10:18:00.003-06:00

Tonight, I celebrated what I call the Grand Finale of a week long "Big Binge". I went to Yujiro Sushi Restaurant with two of my gorgeous besties, and had a Deluxe Special Bento. It was a lovely relaxed evening of baby talk -- my cousin Glo on the right is expecting -- and lots of good food. Here we are in front of the destruction...

For this past week, I've been diving head-first into Holiday Celebrations, feasting like a starved woman at a banquet. Ham, turkey, chocolates, chips, cupcakes... you name it -- as long as "it" contains sugar and/or fat -- I've eaten it. See? Like these things...

TRIPLE CHOCOLATE CANNOLI!!!

I'm sure I've already gained 10 pounds. It's been seriously disgusting.

Why have I completely let myself go like this? Aren't I afraid my already high cholesterol and sleep apnea will finally kill me in my sleep? Don't I care about my health?

Yes, darlings, of course I still care, but there is a reason for my madness. I enjoyed myself in a big ridiculous way this Christmas because, tomorrow, I'm starting a cleanse -- the Isagenix 30-Day Cleanse.

Why I'm Cleansing*.

I get a lot of compliments from my awesome friends along the lines of "Nenette, you're crazy! You don't need to lose any weight!" Clearly, they have never seen me naked. I camouflage well, baby!

But seriously, as I told my girlfriend Camille today on FB:

"Thanks, my dear, for all the compliments. Oh, don't get me wrong, I too think I'm hot. ;) But it's all the stuff underneath. My cholesterol and bodyfat% are dangerously high. I'm highly estrogen toxic, which resulted in my surgery last year, and if I don't take care of my hormonal imbalance (by losing my excess bodyfat), I will likely end up like my mother: ovarian cysts the size of grapefruit and a hysterectomy at the age of 45. Yikes!"

A good portion of my 38% bodyfat (yeah, super yikes!) has been storing and creating more of this extra estrogen, and really, it's been the cause of my cascading host of health issues.

My doctor told me that I need to do a cleanse to completely flush the extra estrogen from my body.

Why I Chose Isagenix.

1: It gets the thumbs up from fitness professionals.Back in September, Roomie's cousin, Ainsley McSorley, an award winning fitness competitor and model, shared her Isagenix experience. As a fitness professional, she's very careful about the things she puts into her body. She was using Isagenix to prepare for a photo shoot. She loved it -- and she looked great!

2: It works for "normal" non-fitness-pro people.
My girlfriend Sly loved the energy she had through her 30 days, and in the end, lost 20lbs. And my cousin Glo and her husband got great results as well.

3: It is a nutritional cleanse.
So, I did a ton of research. (I'm a skeptic by nature.) And everything I've read has shown me that Isagenix is different. As it draws out the crap, it brings in -- through its shakes, snacks, and supplements -- the good stuff in the form of highly-absorbable vitamins and minerals.

4: It does most of the work for you.
Other cleanses tell you to eat well while taking their herbs. Well, I don't know how to eat well -- that's how I got into this mess in the first place.
On the other hand, Isagenix takes care of everything you eat for the month, with the exception of 5 meals per week, so you can focus on cleansing. Glo told us that, by the end of it, you would've kicked your cravings, making healthy eating so much easier.

I have to admit that I'm really excited to start!!! I pre-cleanse tomorrow, a slow introduction that prepares the body for the actual cleanse which, for me, starts on Monday. I'll be documenting my experience starting then. I will try to do a video everyday.

Can I do it? Will I last all 30 days? Or will I freak out and scream at Roomie at 3am to go to 7-11 and buy me a bag of Doritos? Let's see! This should be fun.

Wish me luck!

* - Disclaimer: These are my reasons, no one else's. I'm not an expert on anyone else's body -- just my own.

my favourite Life Candy posts of 2011.

2011-12-28T22:29:00.183-06:00

Like my cuddly friend Adam, I'm wrapping up 2011 with lists. This "listing things" idea was further reinforced by Mama Kat -- who, this week, suggested we select a fave post from our blogs for each month of 2011 and share them, you know, in a list.

So, I now sit, picking posts to share as I nerd out to The Big Bang Theory Marathon on Comedy channel. I will then watch the Doctor Who Christmas special. And maybe have a cupcake. Or two. Then some Toblerone. Just thought you'd be interested.

Anyway, here is my list of favourite Life Candy posts of 2011. Check them out. They are true gems...

January: He...
A "my son is awesome" post. He's impressed me from the moment he was born. In list form.

February: Things that make me go "Hmm... I want to stab things".
Lemminged from my friend Loukia, who herself was feeling particularly stabby that day. Also, in list form. I loves me mah lists!

March: A Simple Misunderstanding.
A short conversation overheard between Roomie and the kids. With a picture of not genitalia.

April: Small Simple Things.
When life got really low and I felt like I'd lost my way, I just needed one little thing to remind me that I still have it pretty damn good. Short post, the picture says it all.

May: Car Conversations: The 11th Anniversary Edition.
A glimpse into my life with Roomie. I can almost hear you say "you people are nuts", and I can't disagree. Our conversations are like this 90% of the time. Yeah, I have a fun life. :)

June: Coconut Natural Deodorant.
This awesome recipe is effective, easy, natural, and makes me smell like the island girl from the land of coconuts that I am. You should try it. It's good. Truth.

July: Where I'm From.
A glimpse into my origins. This was an awesome meme that made me look back once again and appreciate my past. If you haven't done this on your blog, you really must.

August: Dear Old Friends With Unlimited Salad and Breadsticks.
I was told that I'm an Introverted Extravert. That probably explains the almost 700 friends I have on Facebook. I have no trouble making and keeping friends. And I appreciate every single one. This post is an example of this.

September: Bathroom: Before & After.
I think angels sang when my new bathroom rose like a phoenix from the ashes of my old disaster bathroom.

October: Miss Crafty Strikes Again.
My daughter is the artist of the family. She also has a very unusual sense of humour for a 7yo. And she unleashed it on me as documented in this post.

November: Birthday Morning.
I love celebrating my birthday! I didn't have a party, but I had a chance to see some of my favourite people on my special day. The pix make it... of course. Because of Roomie's budding Movember Mo especially! ;)

December: The Fridge Hates Me, and the Toaster's Laughing at Me.
I turn "My fridge broke, and we fixed it" into a complete and musing post. With pictures!

Here's to another year of memorable blog posts! Thank you all so much for reading me in 2011, and I hope you stick around and enjoy the ride in 2012!

This post submitted to Mama Kat's Writing Workshop.

my 7yo daughter got the ultimate boyfriend for Christmas.

2011-12-27T10:48:00.020-06:00

"We got the best presents this year, Mom!"

Oh, what a relief! But really, if your handsome young son said, "Mom, could you PLEASE get me a 3DS for Christmas?", and you got him one, would he really say anything else?! No, he wouldn't... if he knows what's good for him.

As for Mini, you can repeat the above. Just replace "3DS" with "Barbie Camper". See? They love -- Lam playing with total focus, Mini doing the "I got the Barbie Camper I've wanted for MONTHS!" dance.

Oh, but the gift most loved by the WHOLE FAMILY is Mini's gift from Roomie's brother and SIL! Behold...

SWEET TALKIN' KEN!

I know, right?! Awesome beyond belief! He's allegedly the "Ultimate Boyfriend". It says it on the box and his t-shirt, so it must be, you know, true...

Apparently, he's a "sweet talker" because you can record whatever message you want him to say assuming you're saying sweet things, like "You're so lovely tonight." and "May I please have this dance?". However, in this house, Ken's been overheard saying "That's right, babe, I work out." and "Hey, baby, wanna come over and have some of my gramma's chicken salad?"

Luckily, Mini's not buying it. ~~Pig boy~~ Sweet Talkin' Ken isn't allowed in her new Barbie Camper.

ghosts of christmas 2011.

2011-12-26T11:05:00.091-06:00

Happy Holidays, my darlings!

I hope you had a great weekend celebrating with your family and friends, eating till you exploded, and not getting frightening gift surprises. Like a vibrator. Or durian. Or a paternity test.

I... am hungover. Thanks to the 1-3 glasses of wine I consumed last night at Roomie's brother's house at Christmas Dinner. Yes, it's been a great Christmas!

So, because I'm in a wee bit o' pain, I'll just give you some highlights of the season because...
a) I really don't remember every event. Ahem.
b) we didn't go to every event.
c) I don't have pictures for every event.
d) I may or may not have made a total fool of myself at an event or five. Heehee. Kidding.

Okay, here we go...

Brunch with Santa

Roomie's work Holiday party on December 3rd was awesome... if you don't count the fact that Mini had a stomach flu. But there was no way she was going to miss hanging out with the Big Guy in the Red Suit! Don't freak -- we kept her more or less isolated.
Anyway, she still believes. And she has very strong-held opinions when it comes to St. Nick. According to her, the one she meets at this party is the real one -- the ones in the malls are all liars, imposters, and frauds, who really should be ashamed of themselves for trying to fool little kids

Anyway, this is ~~Mini~~ my little kitty cat trying not to throw up on her present from Santa. Luckily, it's a bag. You know, just in case...

As for Lam and the whole Santa thing, he no longer believes, although he will politely talk to the gentleman "who dresses up as Santa to entertain children". And he's been helping us keep the magic alive for his little sister.
All he cares about is that the folks who buy the presents for this party give him something "not lame". At $10 per ticket for this 'do, I told him he's never going to an XBOX and to just appreciate whatever he gets -- Holiday Spirit, manners, and all that. Right?

Well, what do you think he feels about the microscope he got this year? I know, hard to tell -- he has some trouble expressing emotion...

School Gingerbread Night

Our kids' school held a gingerbread night for the Grade 1 to 4 students. It was a night of candy, hot chocolate, and parents and kids all bouncing off the walls in a frenzy of sugar and socializing. IT WAS A MAD HOUSE!!!
Mini sat with some of her besties and made a lovely little house...

Lam, after saying hi to some of his buds, sat himself down to focus on constructing a "demolition house"...

Roomie sought out his fellow-dads, while I caused trouble with my Usual Suspects: Jenna Slickbooty and Tonya Kung Fu Grip...

Harmzie Kids' Cookie Party & Adult Eggnog/Deviled Egg Party
Harmzie-girl hosted 2 Christmas parties: one for the kids on the 11th and one for the adults on the 17th. The kids had a great time making cookies at their 'do, and as far as I remember, we had a great time at Harmzie's Grown Up party. I'm really not sure.

I blame my lack of recall on Max and his lovely evil nog, whose mere fumes are enough to get me drunk.

Wish I had pics of these, but I'm afraid my kids would've coated my camera in cookie dough, and well, I don't remember if I had the camera with me at the Big People party... but, by the end of the night, it was probably a good thing. What with all the talk of "bushes" and stuff.
These events are BIG in my world and, despite the lack of pics, have to be shared, because, you know... Harmzie. :)

Nuttall/Richardson Xmas Party

I remember when this party was held in the lobby party room of one of the apartments in the Village many, many... manymanymany years ago. :) Now, it's a house party, but I still look forward to it every year, because it's fun every year. Like in 2007, 2008, 2009. And this year, as usual, there was a lot of fun time spent ~~smooching with~~ ~~pressing cleavages on~~ catching up with dear old friends.
Here are our gorgeous hostess and host, Sly (one of my besties and bridesmaids) and Mr. Sly (who you may recall was my wedding MC). Pics of them are strewn throughout this blog if you want to see. Not the bad ones -- those I'm saving for blackmail purposes. Hehe. Ahem.

Christmas Eve with Nen's Fam

My sister and BIL came over for our traditional ham dinner. Mini was sick the night before, but her fever broke so all was well again. My sister and I did some 'Just Dance 3'-ing and almost burned my sauteed beans because we were too busy shaking our booties to "California Gurlz". I forgot to set out corn, but no one seemed to care.
And, of course, we took our annual Family Picture... gorgeous, eh?!

Christmas Morning
Oh, yes, I've been a very VERY good girl, indeed! Yes, the chocolate box is empty. It was full. Until about 10 minutes after I unwrapped it.

Christmas Dinner with Roomie's Fam

We always look forward to this evening with Roomie's siblings and their families. It's good to catch up and see the kids... who all grow up way too quickly!
Christmas eve was ham night, and this night is turkey night... with stuffing, mashed potatoes, peas, carrots, and dessert. I can never eat more than one serving. I get SO FULL. Which makes me sad. Because it's all SO GOOD.
We all needed to relax, like these dudes (our nephew Aaron, Lam, and Roomie's bro)...

It was a great Holiday Season indeed! :)

So, what did y'all do to celebrate?

the fridge hates me, and the toaster's laughing at me.

2011-12-21T11:37:00.005-06:00

When folks say "Christmas is a magical time", I don't think they had "Refrigerator comes to life and drops door in protest" in mind.

For the past 2 years, my appliances and I have been getting along. I think they're happy that I'm back to drinking coffee. Espresso actually. So Juan Valdez and my house really have nothing on me anymore. Do you hear me, Juan?! Don't come 'round here, or I'll kick your ass. You and your little donkey too.

The bathroom's all prettied up. The dishwasher, washing machine, and garage door opener are happily working away. The garburator and oven still need fixing (a fuse is busted), but they more-or-less do their jobs in non-cranky fashion.

As for the fridge, I try to keep her loaded with delicious healthy things like cruciferous veggies and cottage cheese. Maybe she's pissed that Roomie keeps jamming Coke and other such evil products in her busty innards.
Perhaps HE is the reason why she decided to do this...

So, if she's going to be all weird, bitchy, and door-droppy, could she have at least done it on Roomie's watch instead of mine?

All I was doing was putting groceries away. And NOT sneaking snacks, as my awesome-yet-evil buddy Camille suggested I was REALLY doing to all and sundry on Facebook.

I figured out that the door dropped due to the pin in the hinge falling out. I didn't need to reverse engineer the thing. I didn't have to find the schematics. I just used the miracle of sight. And my brain. And what little logic I'm capable of these days.

No problem. Easy fix... IF I HAD FOUR ARMS!!!

My awesome and generous friend Sue was going to come over to help me put it together, but I didn't want to yell at her, and when any kind of appliance fixing happens in my house, there is a high probably that yelling will occur. And I'd much prefer to yell at Roomie. (Just kidding. I don't yell at Roomie. I just look at him disapprovingly.)

So, since I was going to wait 4+ hours for my dude to come home, my clever friend Antiquark2 (name has been changed to protect the guilty) suggested I channel good ole Red Green and secure a blanket on my fridge with duct tape in the meantime to keep the cool in and the cat out.
Et voila...

Okay, overly-long story short, my he-man came home and fixed the fridge with me.
Like a scene from a bad porno...

"Hello, ma'am, I'm here to fix your fridge."

"It's over here, beside my... bed." Bow-chicka-wah-wah...

No, not really.

Huzzah! Fixed fridge!

she's artistic, athletic, and cool. unlike the rest of us.

2011-12-15T20:23:00.002-06:00

I'm a computer engineer. Roomie's an electrical engineer. And Lam fancies himself one of these dudes, or maybe all of them combined...

Then, there's Mini...

a prolific, talented artist...

a creative and passionate ballet dancer, who, as you know, was invited to take her Grade 2 Royal Academy of Dance Exam...

a strong and ambitious swimmer who just earned her Red Cross Level 5 and plans to get her Red Cross Level 10 in the next couple of years...

and the November Athlete of the Month for the Grades 1-3 group at her school. See?

Trust me, it says her real name on it.

So, you see, despite being born from and surrounded by pasty-complexioned, techy types, she's proved herself to be untouched by the nerdiness.

But on top of that, she also doesn't like chocolate, and she loves to wear dresses. If she didn't look so much like me, I'd wonder if she'd been switched at birth by aliens.

I will be watching her for any new tentacle-like appendages. Or maybe gills.

----------------------------------------------------
This post submitted to Bruna's:

I love...

2011-12-12T10:57:00.002-06:00

This post was inspired by Schmutzie's post on Aiming Low. Thank you for sharing the love.

... simple, clean, natural decor...
... summer day trips to small towns just outside the city...
... my son and me bouncing to our favourite songs on the car radio while we drive...
... my grandmother’s house in the Philippines, with its jasmine and rose bushes, rice paddy field, and kalamansi trees...
... having the door held open for me...
... the crack of the hard caramelized sugar top when I dig into a creme brulee...
... Scottish accents...
... bacon baked so that the fatty bits are dry and crisp...
... the delicious silence while my besties and I savour our first bite of sushi during our monthly get-togethers...
... white walls I freshly painted myself...
... frozen grapes...
... update pictures of the SOS childrens village we support every month...
... putting on my favourite cardigan fresh from the dryer...
... the feel of a fresh pair of contact lenses...
... how light my head feels after a long overdue haircut...
... that my daughter was invited to take the Royal Academy of Dance ballet exam...
... when my warm fuzzy cat lies on me on a cold night...
... that, sometimes, all I need is a quick swipe of lipstick to make me feel better...
... how saying just one word would set my husband and me laughing over a shared memory...
... real-life royal weddings...
... how my feet feel after taking off high heel shoes I’d been wearing for hours...
... walking around Hilo, Hawai’i on misty days...
... naked cuddling with my husband...
... Sheldon Cooper and Doctor Doofenschmirtz...
... when PayPal notifies me that I’ve been paid...
... the night when 3 of my favourite sci-fi shows are showing one after the other...
... Fergie's battered pickerel with my daughter after ballet class...
... having coffee with my bff and giggling over cute boys as if we're 15...
... my aunt’s Buko Pandan...
... that I have the complete DVD set of some of my favourite TV shows that are no longer airing...
... that I lived with my husband first before we got married...
... soft fresh salmon sashimi...
... movie nights at home with my family...
... starting a brand new erotic romance novel by any one of my favourite authors...
... getting snail mail that’s not a bill or spam...
... going out for breakfast with my sister...
... spending the whole day in pajamas...
... mallratting with my son...
... the caesar’s salad at Stella’s that has the perfect amount of garlic and parmesan...
... rediscovering what flowers I’d planted when they pop up again in the Spring...
... the warmth of the sun on my face...

How about you? What do you love right now?

santa baby: wish list 2011.

2011-12-07T22:38:00.037-06:00

Dear Santa,

As you know, I already have everything I want for Christmas...

However, since it is the season for giving, you may -- you know -- want to give me more stuff.

I've been a very good girl this year because, unlike last time, I did not think inappropriate thoughts of Jared Padalecki. (Please ignore the fact that I may have thought them with Chris Hemsworth. And please don't tell my pretend boyfriend Gerard Butler.)

I've been blogging regularly. I've avoided dairy - except for the occasional slice of ementhal. And haven't had a Tim's Iced Capp since July, which is, as you know, a major accomplishment in the realm of goodness.

So, since we've now established, based on the above evidence, that you will, in fact, be coming to my house this year and filling up my stocking and any pockets of vacancy under my tree, here are some ideas in case you need 'em...

iPhone. I totally look like a horse-and-buggy-driving neo-luddite rather than the tech-savvy social networking maven I truly am without a smartphone. And I want this one. Because it's pretty. Like me.

Egypt vacation. Roomie and I love going to places where we can not only relax, but also enjoy the area's culture and history. What can I say? We're hot and nerdy.
And what better place than Egypt?! Pyramids, mummies, and look at this beautiful beach picture!

slow cooker. Okay, Roomie's going to get mad at me for this one, because he thinks that, when I make a wish list for me, it should truly be FOR ME. Obviously, a slow cooker is not. Unless I want to make a big pot roast and eat it all myself. Not impossible. Just highly unlikely. Because I like to share.
But seriously, feeding my family well makes me happy, so yes, this is definitely a gift FOR ME.

Jets shirt. As you likely know, we have an NHL franchise back in Winnipeg. Yay! Go Jets Go!!! I have the hat (which I bought when I was a 13-year-old hockey fanatic), and I had the jersey (which has vanished). Now, I want something that I can wear on a regular day and not look like a little female hockey player who got lost on her way to MTS Centre.

'Allo! 'Allo! DVDs. I have Season 1, thanks to Miss T who gave it to me on my birthday this year. I just need the next 8 seasons. I just want to have a season where I can see Officer Crabtree. He's my fave!

Friends DVDs. I still need Seasons 3, 4, 5, and 7 to finish my set. So close! :)

Mother's Heirloom Ring. So I can always (kinda) have Roomie, Lam, and Mini with me all the time.

babyfindit.com

Dinner with my pretend boyfriend Gerard Butler. So I can charm him with my dazzling wit and beauty, and in the end, when he's begging me to run away with him, I'll say, "No, Gerry, I'm sorry, I won't -- I've got an even hotter dude at home. Good night."
No, I'm never letting this one go until it actually happens. And no, I'm not crazy. Well, maybe a little.

And that's it... for now. Thanks, Santa! You rock so much more than a pile of rocks! xoxo

rap session #364.

2011-12-02T08:00:00.000-06:00

Lam: "I wish we could win the Grey Cup, so we could have it here in Winnipeg."

Mini: "WHY? Are you going to steal it?!!!"

Lam: "No! I'm not Batman!"

Mini: "We can make you Batman..."

Um, what?

mo bros.

2011-12-01T09:57:00.005-06:00

"Movember... [deep sigh] ... Is over." - Harmzie

Alas, it is December 1st, and we once again close the chapter of another Movember, the month when our dudes grow their various flavours of mustacheos for prostate cancer awareness and research.

This year, Roomie and 3 of his besties (since the ~~naughty~~ good ole university days) decided to do Movember together as mo bros.

LRM (one of my besties and wife of a mo bro) and I were predicting that our guys would ultimately look like a 70s pron barbershop quartet...

I think Max, Mr. LRM, El Don, and Roomie look mo-sational, don't you think?! And Harmzie, LRM, Ms. El Don, and I are so proud of them... for, you know, growing facial hair.

I'm not sure how much their little group raised, but at last count, Canada raised the most money worldwide with over $36,000,000 in donations! Yay, Canada!

Great job, guys! Great job!

Doings & a Not-Doing.

2011-11-30T08:00:00.003-06:00

Wrote an awesome post at Work It Mom.
So, if you want to send a parcel to your family/friends in time for Christmanukahnzaa, you need to read my post for some DOs, DON'Ts, and valuable tips. And leave a comment while you're there!

Finished an herbal detox/cleanse on November 18.
My naturopath encouraged me to do one to help flush out the excess estrogen I have in my system. I didn't want to blog about it until I had something worth reporting. And now I do: I gained 5 pounds.
Yup, we have a winner, folks! I'm probably the only person in the history of 'people-doing-detoxes' who put on weight instead of losing it, because I used the detox as license to eat too many of these...

grilled ementhal cheese sandwich with way too much butter... yum

But that was then. THIS is now...

Had a REAL 100% Primal Day.
No grain and no sugar, lots of natural movement -- if you can in fact call what those weird glowing people on Just Dance 3 make us do "natural movement". It's dance, so it's all good, I guess.
Bonus: I've already lost a couple of pounds since I started early this week!

Put the finishing touches on a scarf I promised to knit a very funny friend last year.
It was actually done, um, last year, but I decided to open the box and add some unique touches that are perfectly HIM.

Did not grow a mo.
That was Roomie's job. His team will be taking a group Mo-Bro pic. Maybe they'll let me share it here.
Meanwhile, here he is on Day 17 to tide you over. It had already moved from 70s pron mo to almost the awesomeness that it is today.

He's so HAWT!

I try to be, and I'm glad she thinks so.

2011-11-25T06:46:00.003-06:00

by Mini

underneath the cat-mas tree.

2011-11-24T09:30:00.002-06:00

Guest post by Mittens the Cat.

November 12. It was that time of year again. Yup, the time of year when I order my humans to put up the Cat-mas tree. My mommy (you all know her as "Mini") asked Gramma (you all know her as "Nenette") if she could "please, please, PLEASE" put up the tree that day because some dude named Santa was having a parade.

Apparently, this Santa guy was important -- well, duh, he had his own parade, right? -- and people go ape-sh*t every time he comes to town. Yah, they even wrote a song about it. A song with no mention of cats. So it's lame. Obviously.

Okay, so it all started when I got Gramma to put the red carpet on the floor. This is key. I need a nice place to nap. Regal, non?

Then Mommy started to put on the branches. She's very awesome and good at that sort of thing... with my supervision, of course.

Because these monkeys are silly sometimes, I checked the box to make sure Mommy didn't forget any branches.

While my mommy finished her task, I made sure to test my little resting spot under the tree. Quality control is essential.

Soon after, Grampa (you all know him as "Roomie") and Uncle (you all know him as "Lam") joined my little workforce by adding sparkly things I can bat around onto the tree. They are good workers, but they didn't stop often enough to scratch me on the head like they're supposed to.

This year, I gave Uncle the honour of putting the star on the tree. Grampa had to lift him up, much like he does when he lifts me up so I can sniff high-up things.

Apparently, the star is important. I think it's so this Santa guy can know where my house is and bring me cool stuff.

My people did an adequate job. Mommy and Uncle loved it. Gramma and Grampa said it looked beautiful. I praised my humans for their adequat-ulence by hopping on their laps, rubbing against them, and allowing them to scratch my head.

Very soon after, I took a much deserved snoozeroonie, because, you know, managing these apes is such hard work!

Cat-mas, we're ready for ya!