So many people say that relationships is one of their biggest problems in life. Is that true for you? Do you struggle with relationships? Are you in a relationship now that just doesn’t seem to be going right? Here’s my question for you.

Are you communicating?

Wait! I know you were about to click away, but stay for just a minute! When I say communicate, I don’t mean, are you telling the other person how you feel. I’m not asking if you give the other person a chance to talk.

What I do mean, what I am asking is, is true communication going on.

In true communication, not only are words spoken, but information is shared. Unfortunately, in most cases, that isn’t happening.

What happens is that one person has their say. The other person half hears the first part and then they are so busy thinking about what they are going to say back that they miss the last half.

The person speaking thinks the other person got it and so they end the conversation. Mission accomplished! They know just how I feel. No, they don’t. They may not have the foggiest idea what you are talking about.

Here’s a great tool for better communication.

Restate what you heard, or ask for a restatement. What do I mean? Here it is simply.

Let’s say that the other person is talking about how they felt that you didn’t listen when you went out to dinner last night. You simply say, “Wait just a minute. I want to make sure I understand. Are you saying that I didn’t pay attention to you?”

They may say that is exactly it. In that case you know you understand. What may happen is that the other person says, “Well you weren’t listening, but what I really mean is that you were too busy checking out the waitress to listen to me.”

Here you would say, “So let me get this straight, you think I was checking out the waitress and you are jealous?”

Now they can say yes, in which case you have it, or they say no, in which case you go at it again.

If you are the one doing the talking, then I suggest you say, “Just so I know I made it clear to you, tell me what you think I said.”

The other person says what they think you said and you can either be happy you made yourself clear, or you can try to make clearer what you were trying to say.

Communication is not worth a damn if the transfer of information doesn’t happen. Without that transfer, it is just two people talking in circles about things that the other person has no clue what they are talking about.

When I went through my divorce, my wife had been trying for a long time to tell me what was going on, but there was no communication. After she left me, it took several months before I really understood. By then it was too late.

Learn to communicate and life will become mush easier. I guarantee it!

Do you live by your spirit? You may be asking yourself, what do I mean by that? I’m not talking about religion, I’m talking about how to live your life to the fullest. You live your life by the fullest by living by your spirit.

First, you need to find out where your spirit lives. I wrote a post on this and you can certainly read that post to learn about this in more detail.

Basically, what it takes is learning what makes your spirit sing? What makes it shrink? What makes your spirit sing? Let’s say it’s listening to music or maybe walking in the woods. You feel lighter or joyful It makes you feel good. On the other side of this is what makes your spirit shrink or diminish. Think about the last time you were depressed. When we’re depressed our spirit is diminished or shrinks. Many people feel like they are filled with lead or maybe sand. That’s your spirit shrinking or diminishing.

Living by the spirit means living by your heart, or your inner being. These are just words describing the same thing. Your spirit leads you. Your spirit leads you to do the things you are meant to do. It’s how we are meant to live and exist in this world.

Infinite Source exists in spirit, and Infinite Source links to our spirit. It’s how we are meant to be.

You find the right path by opening to your spirit. This does not mean that you stop using your head. Only that the first voice you listen to is your spirit voice, not your intellectual voice. The body and the mind are meant to assist spirit. The body carries out what the spirit wants to do. The mind is the advisor.

Most people live in the intellect or mind. Not saying you shouldn’t be wise in your actions,but living by your intellect can rob you of your dreams. Your mind advises spirit that, “This can’t happen, this isn’t the right time, look at the economy.” We think too logically.

Infinite Source waits to give you what you ask for and reach out for. The intellect can stop you from having those dreams and reaching for them. The spirit is unafraid.

Why should you live this way? This is how we are meant to live. We are created to extensions of Infinite Source. We are created to be the hands and feet of Infinite Source. Our spirit leads us, guides us, in the way that we can most fully be that extension, to be the hands and feet of Infinite source

I said that most of us live by the intellect. I assume you live that way too. Let me ask you this question. How has that worked for you so far? How is your life doing so far. Maybe it’s perfect, maybe you’re doing fine and you’re happy. If you are like most people, you feel, lacking in some areas. You feel like you’re not living to your fullest potential. You feel like there is something missing and sometimes you feel heart sick because you want more.

Why not try living by the spirit? Let the spirit guide. Listen to the advice of the mind, but live by the spirit. Allow the body to do what it needs to do to fulfill the desires of the spirit. Give it a try. See if it doesn’t make life better!

What makes your heart sing? What makes the deepest part of you the innermost part of your being, just absolutely soar. What is that? What are those things that make that happen?

I think you really know what I mean, if you think about it. You may be thinking, “What the heck is he talking about.” If you really think about the times that you were incredible, not just happy, but overflowing with joy. What was going on? What was happening that made your heart or spirit sing. What are those things?

On the other side of that question is, what are the things that make your heart or spirit shrink to the point of disappearing? Again, I think you know what I mean. Think of the last time you were really depressed. Inside, you felt empty and alone. It was like there was nothing there, like you were a dried up sponge. What made that happen? What were you feeling?

I have an exercise for you to do. It’s an easy one and yet I think it is very enlightening. It will help you figure out who you are what you’re doing and Where you’re going.

Take a legal pad and draw a line right down the middle. One one side write, “What makes my heart sing.” One the other side, write, “What makes my heart, or spirit, shrink?”

Now fill out those two sides. What are those two things?

What makes my heart shrink?

• Losing a friend
• being depressed
• being angry
• not having a good time
• feeling lost

Don’t give them a lot of thought, just write down whatever comes to mind.

One the other side, write the things that make you heart soar with the eagles or sing. You could write things like;

• hiking in the woods
• riding my bicycle
• listening to music
• eating good food.

Whatever comes to mind.

When you are done filling out both sides the best you can, sit back and look those things over.

Often times, on the side that says “What makes my spirit disappear,” you can start to draw lines and arrows. You might well find that one thing leads back to another. When you keep linking them back to each other, you will probably find that they all point to one thing. There might be two or three, but there probably be only one.

What you get out of that is you begin to see that these ware the things that block you in life. They block you from The relationships you want, the job you want, the business you want, the quality of life that you want.

The other side, the side that says, “What makes my heart sing,” That’s the side that tells you who you are. That’s the side that tells you, “These are the things that I love, that I want to do, that fulfill me as a person.”

So one the one side you have the things that block you and on the other you have the things that complete you, as a part of all creation, as a part of the Infinite Source.

Now, to do this exercise and get these two answers is a monumental thing. Now you know what blocks you, and what completes you.

Try this exercise out and let me know how it works out for you!

P.S. Don’t forget to leave a comment. Let me know if this works for you!

So many people live lives of quiet desperation, according to Thoreau. The live lives that are closed and fearful. I am learning to live open and extraordinary. I say learning because life is a journey and we never learn it all.

I hope you enjoy this video. It was hard for me to not get too emotional. It is a subject near and dear to my heart!

Are you struggling with health issues? If so, I can certainly relate. It wasn’t that long ago that I could hardly move I was in so much pain. I understand being heavy, out of shape and in pain. Thankfully, I am in much better shape now. Here’s how I did it.

Two ways to maximize your health.

The first thing I did was to change my thinking. I had read for years how changing your thoughts could change your life, but I didn’t really put it into practice; at least not daily. I struggled with thinking that this was just too woo-woo to really work. That, or I tried it for a few days, maybe a week, and then quit because, “It didn’t work!”

It is absolutely true that your thoughts directly effect your health. Here’s how I know.

If you are depressed or angry, you aren’t going to exercise. That’s pretty simple isn’t it? It’s true though. If you are down, are you going to go out for a walk, a run, play tennis? No, you’re probably going to eat , drink, or both excessively instead. What’s the result of that? Bad health.

We know that stress causes all kinds of bad things. Stress causes ulcers, high cholesterol, and heart disease, just to name a few.

So, change your thinking. I know you think it’s impossible, and I’ll admit it can be tough, but it can be done.

Are you getting angry or depressed? Stop! Take a deep breath. Force yourself to relax for a moment. Feel that feeling of anger or depression. Look at it as if you were looking at a friend with the same thought. What good is that emotion doing for him or her? What good is it doing you? Now just let it go. Just say to yourself, “Okay, I’m angry. It isn’t doing me a bit of good, but I’m angry.”

Often, when we go through that process, when we come to the point of accepting it for what it is, we find it has dissipated or is gone completely.

I’ve said before that what you put out, you get back in like kind. If you are giving out thoughts of hatred, depression, hopelessness, un-forgiveness, then that’s what you are getting back. These thoughts cause our bodies to put out endocrines, enzymes, chemicals that adversely effect our health. The hate you feel for someone else comes back as hate for your body. The depression you feel comes back to you as sinking health.

If these kinds of thoughts are your dominant thoughts, then changing your thinking will cause a change in your health!

Second, get up and do something. It is that simple. I would encourage you to take up walking, bike riding, something. It doesn’t have to be even that hard. Go out and weed a garden or rake some leaves. Do something to get your body moving.

We are created to move. I don’t care if you are wheelchair bound as a quadriplegic, and I’ll bet you’re not, there is something you can do to move. The more we move, the better our health is.

We have all read or heard stories of people who were in terrible shape and they started exercising and became healthy. It happens all the time. It can happen to you too.

It’s easy to become discouraged. We don’t lose the wight we wanted or after the first week, we still can’t run a marathon. The secret is, change your thinking and keep moving.

Give yourself a good amount of time to get both your thinking and your exercise to be part of your life. If you have been thinking negatively for most of your life, it probably isn’t going to change overnight. If you have spent years being depressed, or angry, it will take some time to change. Today might be great, tomorrow, not so great. That’s okay! Give yourself time!

The same thing goes for exercise. Just because you decide to start exercising today does not mean you will be in great shape tomorrow or that you will even remember or want to exercise.

This is about your life. You have to give yourself time, but you also have to be deliberate in your quest for health.

These two simple things will maximize your health, but only if you do them. They only work if you put them into practice.

This past week, I read a story from the bible about a king who gave a wedding banquet for his son. He invited all the best people to come to the banquet, but they all gave excuses why they couldn’t come, they said they were too busy. No one showed up. The king sent out his servants and had them invite people from the streets to come. He invited ordinary folks to come to the banquet.

Life is a banquet! It is a feast of unimaginable goodness. The problem is, most people don’t show up for the feast. There is a line from an old movie that goes,

“Life is a banquet, but most poor suckers are starving to death!”

The problem isn’t that there is no banquet, no feast, the problem is we don’t come to it. We don’t believe it’s for us or we are too busy to come. We don’t show up and so the banquet goes to someone else.

We moan and groan about how life isn’t fair or that we don’t have enough and all the while the banquet goes on without us.

How do you change and come to the banquet?

First, you realize there is a banquet! You have to change your thinking from one of lack and starving to one of going to the feast. Know that it is there, waiting for you to show up! Imagine all the good things there are and let your mouth water for them! Imagine what it will be like to sit at that table and have anything you want!

Second, go to the feast. Stop acting like you are not invited, or worse yet, that you are here only to serve those who do attend the feast. Show up! Go to the banquet knowing that there is plenty for all and that you have as much right to be there as any one else!

The Infinite gives this incredible life of overflowing abundance to us all and our part is to attend. Why believe you are not invited? If you are alive, then you are invited. You are welcome to sit and have your fill! The Universe waits to serve you whatever you will reach out for, but you have to reach out!

Don’t let this life go by without attending the feast! Put a smile on your face and head out the door, knowing that the banquet waits for you!

P.S. Leave a comment. Tell us how you have come to the banquet!