“Saying ‘no’ to any commitments we can’t handle would be ideal, of course, but like I said, we usually have a tendency to say ‘yes’ to more than we can actually handle. And we become overwhelmed, stressed, and exhausted. As you know, simplicity is the key to my philosophy. If things get complicated, I say you should simplify. Don’t try to do more. Reduce.” Zen Habits talks more about cutting back on daily demands in A Guide to Cutting Back When You Feel Overwhelmed.

“Every technique employed by the instigator has a single goal: to take your power away from you. Every one of us has a fighting spirit, a confidence that allows us to wake up in the morning, and take on the world. Your verbal attacker is going to try and take this away from you, to leave you nervous, doubting yourself, and even stuttering.” Jay Morrissey reveals how to handle verbal intimidation tactics in The Art of Verbal Intimidation: Learn it and Fight Back!

“Personal finance is not just about dollars and cents. It’s about emotions and how we piece through the daily dilemmas in our lives. It’s about figuring out our goals and what the most important aspects of our lives really are. Doing a budget and living frugally doesn’t mean much if it doesn’t open our eyes to what our real values are.” The Simple Dollar talks about Emotional Fulfillment and Financial Success.

“Here’s the thing. No matter how hard you try to pretend that you can avoid change and continue on a path that’s unconscious or inauthentic, eventually your authentic self has to speak up. Most people can’t avoid the voice of their soul.” Christine Kane asks Is Upheaval Required for Personal Growth?

“Probably the most challenging thing about going through a life change is to have faith that there is some design, that things will move towards healing, and that good will come out of this.” Christine follows up with Upheaval: A Field Guide.

Finally, Wake Up Tiger encourages us to chase our passion, not our pensions.

Premium News was the original site where I bought my present theme, and it’s now evolved into the newly minted WooThemes. I love their designs and they have a good after-service help forum for help with purchased themes.

Together with the relaunch they’ve also released 2 brand new WordPress themes for sale. Check them out.

He says about the book that:

Personal Development for Smart People definitely isn’t a rehashing of previous blog posts or articles. The ideas in the book are new and original. Only a small portion of the content is based on existing material from this website.

This is a very unique book. Even if you’ve read 1000 or more personal development books like I have, I dare say you’ve never read anything quite like this.

and he talks about it more in detail on his post Pre-order Personal Development for Smart People. He reveals that after 2 and a half years of searching for the core principles of personal growth, he found that there were seven in total: truth, love, power, oneness, authority, courage, and intelligence, which he goes into in his book.

Steve’s always written insightful and original posts on personal development, and I’m sure his book will be no different. If you pre-order it from Amazon now you’ll get a nice discount of around US$8, I’ve already ordered mine and am looking forward to reading it!

Pre-order your copy of Personal Development for Smart People from Amazon today.

I believe this act of wanting to please others affects all of us in some way. However, it affects many in a great way. Have you ever auditioned for a part in a play? Did you ever try out for the football or volleyball team at school? We endeavored to play the part well so the director would be pleased with our performance and give us the part. We worked so hard to please the coach in hopes that we might have a spot on the team.

When we were teenagers we were pressured by our friends to do certain things we knew were not right. Since we wanted to keep our friends we would do those things to please them. We view American Idol to watch as young people audition before the judges and the nation to try to become the next American Idol. We step into our adult years where we have a career and we perform for the boss, so he/she will be pleased with us.

Life itself can feel like just one big audition. We step on stage of life where all the lights are blaring in our face. The audience sits back to watch our performance. Suddenly, we begin to perform for them. Who are you performing and auditioning for? Who can tell you to jump and you jump and keep jumping until they tell you to stop? Who are you trying to please to the extent that whatever they tell you to do or change you hop right to it?

Life is Not an Audition.

Life should not be an audition. We are not trying out all the time. What happened to a person having their own identity? Why are we working so hard to become like everyone else when we are a unique individual personality? If you are moderately or constantly changing something in your life because someone said you should, then you are basically not in control of the decisions you make. You are allowing others to make decisions for you because of your strong desire to be pleasing, approved, accepted, and praised in their sight.

Sure, there are people we should look up to and glean from. There are people who should influence our life and give us advice. It is not so much others that are the problem as it is you desiring them to be pleased with your performance.

I will give you an example. A woman goes to the mall to shop for a dress for a special occasion. She spends a few hours going from store to store and trying on dress after dress and finally she finds one she likes. She likes the color, style, and it fits great on her. Well, when she gets home and models it for her friends she finds they are not as favorable of the dress as she is.

What would you do? Do you return the dress based on their comments or do you keep it because you really like it? If you really want to please your friends, you would return the dress back to the store. However, if you are your own person, unique and different, you would rip the price tag off and wear the dress for the special occasion.

You are Already in the Play

You have to ask yourself “what do you want to accomplish in your life?” and not “what do others want you to accomplish?”. Change something in your life because you believe it’s the right thing to do for you and not for anyone and everyone else.

How comfortable are you with your weight? How comfortable are you with your career? How comfortable are you with your life right now? Change your life because you want to change it and not because you would be pleasing others if you did. True friends will love you for who you are and not because you are not pleasing them. Living your life for others is nothing but a life full of frustration. It is a constant struggle. The balance would be to allow people to have input and influence in your life without controlling your every move.

When I am trying hard to please others, they control my every move. You be in control of your life. You are not auditioning for a part in the play called “Life”. You are in the play.

Real Joy by Todd Baker < < technowannabe.

One book I’ve just finished reading is the philosophical fiction book If Minds Had Toes, where long-dead philosophers Socrates and Ludwig Wittgenstein live on and argue philosophy in the World of Ideas.

If Minds Had Toes

Socrates asserts that philosophy is useful to everyone, Wittgenstein disagrees, and they agree to settle it with a bet: an ordinary young person would be brought to the World of Ideas and introduced to philosophy. If, after a time, he agrees that philosophy has benefited his life, Socrates gets to keep his presidency, if he loses, Wittgenstein becomes the next president of the World of Ideas.

Socrates’ beautiful twenty-something secretary Lila chooses 15 year-old Ben - who’s working part-time at fish and chips joint Cod Almighty - as the ordinary person, and she acts as his guide to the World of Ideas’ world of ideas.

Ben is introduced to ideas like Solipsism, differing points of views about the Self, Beauty and Free Will. Along the way he bumps into a sports-car driving Plato, a crabby Kant, the scruffy Socrates and the stuffy Wittgenstein. Philosophical ideas are explained through ordinary characters who argue back and forth in front of Ben and Lila, who jump in with the occasional question and opinion.

One of my favorite parts of the book is when Lila brings Ben to a happiness forum, where philosophers from the Buddha to John Stuart Mill each have a minute to present their opinion about happiness.

‘A great philosopher, if there’s such a thing, once said that happiness is the fulfillment of human potential through the faculty of reason. He claimed that well-being consists primarily in intellectual activity. Bullshit! Wisdom, knowledge and learning have often been cited as the key to a fulfilling life. But only because philosophers write the definitions.’ The crowd slowly began to stamp their feet. ‘Just be happy: stop talking about it. Find happiness in beauty, in nature, in other people. Not learning, but living, is the key.’ He spoke louder. ‘Anything worth living for must also be worth dying for. And no one dies for their pet theory of causation.’

The crowd began to chant: ‘Po-et! Po-et! Po-et!’

‘What’s that all about?’ Ben asked Lila.

Now people were storming the stage and throwing bread rolls.

‘That’s John Donne, the poet. Poets and philosophers tend to row. They each think that the other one is wasting his time with empty words.’

Funny stuff

Most of the ideas are explained in an easy to understand way, although I had to re-read a few paragraphs to wrap the ideas around my head. Author Lucy Eyre doesn’t give definite points of view, but allows her philosophical characters to present their points and counter-points, leaving it to the reader to figure it out for themselves in the end.

If Minds Had Toes & Sophie’s World

If Minds Had Toes is a lot like Sophie’s World, both fictional books that discuss philosophy using a fictional narrative, but Minds is a slimmer, easier book at 288 pages in comparison to Sophie’s World’s 544 pages. Sophie’s World is a more complete history of philosophy, and is more serious in tone when compared to Minds, which presents less ideas and is more whimsical. Sophie’s World has a stronger plot, while Minds’ plot is pretty flat.

At the end of the novel, I’m not convinced that Ben’s life has come to benefit from philosophy, but all in all If Minds Had Toes wraps up sweetly. It’s a fun read, not too heavy and reads like a young fiction novel. I particularly loved the cover and the cute, sketchy illustrations scattered throughout the book.

If you’re looking for something more comprehensive, look at the delightful Sophie’s World, but for something light, If Minds Had Toes makes for a breezy read.

Buy If Minds Had Toes from Amazon today.

In this series, I want to explore simplicity through the eyes of different people. Hopefully, this will enrich our ideas about simplicity and help answer those questions for both you and I.

What is Simplicity According to Zen?

Zen is a school of Mahāyāna Buddhism that focuses on direct experience of its teachings. In fact, its legendary founder Bodhidharma asserted that Zen is a “special transmission outside scriptures” which does “not stand upon words.”

While Zen has a lot to teach us about simplicity, I’m going to draw specifically on two aspects linked to Zen that I first learned about from the seminal book Zen and Japanese Culture by Dr. D.T. Suzuki.

Wabi – the Love of Poverty

What is wabi? Dr. Suzuki says that it translates to “aloneness”, “poverty”, or “not to be in the fashionable society of the time.” He puts that wabi “characterizes the entirety of Japanese culture reflecting the spirit of Zen.”

To be poor, that is, not to be dependent on things worldly – wealth, power and reputation – and yet to feel inwardly the presence of something of the highest value, above time and social position: this is what essentially constitutes wabi. Stated in terms of practical everyday life, wabi is to be satisfied with a little hut, a room of two or three tatami (mats), like the log cabin of Thoreau, and with a dish of vegetables picked in the neighboring fields, and perhaps to be listening to the pattering of a gentle spring rainfall.

Dr. Suzuki tells a story of Sen no Rikyū, the founder of the art of Japanese tea as it is practiced today, that helps illustrates the idea of wabi.

A teaman of Sakai owned a caddy of a special pattern entitled “Unzan Katatsuki.” As the ware was quite well known among teamen and prized by them, the owner was naturally proud of it. One day he invited Rikyū to tea and used this caddy. But Rikyū did not seem to be very much concerned about it and left the house with no comments. The owner was upset over this, and immediately broke it to pieces by striking it against the gotoku, and sighed, “What is the use these days of keeping an article not at all approved of by Rikyū?”

A friend of the owner’s later collected the broken pieces of the caddy and glued them together carefully so as to restore the original pattern. The work was done with a great deal of skill, and he thought the mended caddy was not after all a poor specimen. He conceived the idea of inviting Rikyū to tea and using the caddy again to see what Rikyū would say about it.

While the tea was being served, Rikyū’s keen eye at once detected the same old caddy now pieced together. He said, “Is this not the same caddy I saw elsewhere some time ago? When it is repaired like this, it has really turned into a piece of wabi.”

Photo by Est Bleu2007.

Sabi – Rustic Simplicity

Another aspect of Zen that is closely linked to wabi is sabi; which “consists in rustic unpretentiousness or archaic imperfection, apparent simplicity or effortlessness in execution, and richness in historical associations (which, however, may not always be present); and lastly, it contains inexplicable elements that raise the object in question to the rank of an artistic production.”

Another story of Sen no Rikyū helps us to understand sabi.

When Rikyū was invited to a first winter tea party somewhere, he was accompanied by his son-in-law. When they stepped into the court, they noticed the gate hung with an ancient-looking door. The son-in-law remarked that it savored highly of sabi. But Rikyū smiled somewhat sarcastically: “This is far from savoring of sabi, my son; it is on the contrary a most expensive piece of work. Look here closely. Such a door as this is not to be found in the vicinity. It must have come from a remote mountain temple far away from the human world. Think of the amount of labor to bring it here, for which the master must have paid dearly. If he had understood what genuine sabi is, he would have searched for a suitable door ready-made or made to order among the neighboring dealers, and would have had it pieced together with an old board found among his premises. Then the door fixed here would certainly savor of sabi. The taste shown before us is not a genuine one.” It was thus the son-in-law was taught the art in a practical way.

Photo by mandolux.

Simplicity is Imperfect

I take it Dr. Suzuki wasn’t suggesting that to pursue the simple life, we should all seek to be poor. Rather, he was saying that “however ‘civilized,’ however much brought up in an artificially-contrived environment, we all seem to have an innate longing for primitive simplicity, close to the natural state of living.”

We see that simplicity according to Zen – from the aspect of wabi-sabi – means a quiet appreciation of simple moments & things, and that simplicity may be imperfect but not without quality.

The door which Rikyū criticized failed to have this quality because it had tried too hard to get it. So did the well-known tea caddy that failed at first to get Rikyū’s attention. But once the caddy had been broken and carefully repaired, it effortlessly embodied wabi-sabi from its being. Yet it wasn’t enough that it had been glued together and become imperfect, the care and attention that was put into its repair added a touch of rustic quality to it that so charmed Rikyū.

It is this sense of quality in an imperfect simplicity that is best illustrated in this last story about the tea-master Rikyū.

When Rikyū was still apprentice at the art of tea, his master told him to sweep the roji – the court attached to the tearoom. The roji had already been swept clean by the master himself. When Rikyū came out, not a speck of dust was to be found, but he at once read the master’s mind. Shaking a tree a little, he let a few leaves fall on the ground. This pleased the master.

Photo by amy’s pocket-camera.